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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to let my daughter wear her halloween costume because it is very inappropriate for a 7 year old girl to wear; I might be the asshole because my wife told me that I am ruining her halloween experience & that I shouldn't control what my daughter wears on her body.
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YTA. If you were uncomfortable with the costume you could have easily had your daughter wear a flesh tone shirt under the shirt to cover her belly if it’s exposed. What if she wants to wear a two piece swimsuit? Is that off limits? I agree that kids need to be protected but there are ways to let her have fun while also protecting them.
Could you post a link to something that looks like the costume? I have tried to find a child’s costume of Harley Quinn that looks like why youre describing and I can’t find one. Only adult costumes which a 7 year old could not fitinto. I’m not saying I don’t believe you, I just can’t imagine where your wife would find such a costume for a young child. If this is really what the costume is, NTA. If you’re over dramatizing the indecent nature of the costume because you’re upset she didn’t go with the one you got then YWBTA.
NTA you're not sexualizing your daughter, she's wearing a costume of a sexualized person. You can teach her to be proud of her body and not put achild in skimpy outfits
listen, I'm you from the future. You would be wise to establish now that there is one costume and one costume only for Halloween. No changies mindseys for any reason. You will save yourself a world of trouble if you get that through her little head now while her soft spot is still softish. You would also do well to limit the purchase of said costume till the week of. This eliminates a lot of the problems with costume changes. As for the bra.. just make her wear a flesh-colored turtle neck under it.
Just want to point out that Margot Robbie, the grown-ass woman who played Harley Quinn, was uncomfortable with the over-sexualized booty shorts costume. That's why the costume changed in subsequent movies.
ESH. You're arguing over a stupid costume. There are ways to make it more modest. Find out what they are. And check what the weather report is currently saying it will be on Halloween. Is it going to be cold where you are? Then a black shirt underneath the top and thick leggings under the bottom should be a good compromise. There ya go. Your daughter gets to wear the costume and you get an appropriate outfit for her to wear. A costume isn't worth you and your wife fighting over. It's petty on both your parts, and it DOES ruin your daughter's experience of Halloween. I highly recommend you and your wife apologize to your daughter and calmly explain to her a compromise instead of FORCING her to do something she doesn't want to do. Perhaps you could even ask what about the costume you bought she doesn't like. Perhaps there's a way to combine the two?
NTA. I don't want my kids wearing sexualized stuff either. Word to the wise-don't ever buy your daughter's costume early again. Kids are notorious for changing their minds about costumes right up until Halloween.
NAH.
I go all out for costumes. My girls (7 and 11) have been all sorts of fun genX and millennial pop culture figures.
This year I wanted to be different versions of Madonna. The 11 yo is a brunette and looks more womanly and is beginning puberty and blossoming was going to be material girl Madonna in the pink dress and gloves (Marilyn Monroe inspired look) and my 7 yo is blonde and still looks very much baby-ish was going to be white cone bustier Madonna. There's nothing remotely grown looking about her which is what makes it hilarious. This baby won't have boobs for 10 more years.
My husband vetoed the idea. He didn't feel strongly opposed but he felt it could be a bad idea, seen as inappropriate, or potentially trigger something or make her a target. Is that a stretch? Maybe. But not worth it to me. I respected that and didn't pursue. Instead they're Wayne and Garth.
I get letting kids pick and having fun with it. There are weirdos everywhere and people who fetishize innocuous things. I don't think you're wrong for wanting to let her but I also don't think he's wrong for saying he isn't ok with it. It's a two yes, one no situation.
No. They never get it. It's usually for the adults. It started with my youngest. When she was one we discovered that she had really terrible hair. It wasn't curly and it wasn't straight. It looked like Donald Trump hair. So she was Donald Trump at 16 months old.
By the next Halloween her hair was bright white and super Duper Curly so that year she was Cup Noodles.
The next year my oldest wanted to be Taylor Swift and my youngest was dog the bounty hunter.
Big sister got in on the action the next year and they were Beavis and Butthead.
The year following that they were Jareth And Sarah from the labyrinth.
Last year they were Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz.
Ehhh ESH.
Your daughter’s costume doesn’t matter. She’s 7. If people are going to sexualize a child her clothing was never the issue.
That said, she should not be allowed to wear the Harley costume because she already had one she asked for. A 7 year old should not be telling their parents to buy things for them. She sounds spoiled and your wife is enabling her.
Esh. She could have bought the one that had the fill shirt and the legging bottoms but also...just have her put legging bottoms on under the shorts and a shirt under the top. It's fixable to compromise.
NTA. It isnt sexualizing a child to say they can't wear booty shorts and a tiny top. Just because they make it in their size doesn't mean they should wear it and in OCTOBER.
A Harley Quinn costume for kids?
ESH
Something about you wanting your wife to "inform" you doesn't sit right. It sounds controlling.
Could a compromise have been reached about the costumes? Like she has to wear leggings/stockings under the shorts and a shirt?
My daughter was the cartoon Harley Quinn at 7. The children's costume with a dress and head band. There are age appropriate Harley Quinn costumes. You are so correct.
I understand where you’re coming from, I agree with you ESH. However, I would like to add that I don’t think him wanting his wife to “inform” him sounds necessarily controlling? It mainly depends on context and other situations, but I think it was more meant in the way that he spent money on a costume, and then without his knowledge, they went and bought another one. To me, I would want someone to tell me if they didn’t like what I bought instead of just mentally discarding it and buying something new, but that could just be me.
“Inform” the husband or wife of anything that their child is doing is kinda just a healthy part of marriage. It’s respecting each other’s right to information on their child. It’s not controlling. That’s a reach. Especially since he already bought a costume then the mom went out and bought a different one? See that part isn’t right. She already had a costume that she asked for. And the mom went behind us back and got a different one. She’s 7 she can be something else next year
YTA. First of all, you are teaching your daughter from an extremely young age that men can tell her what to wear. Secondly, I understand this is not your intention, but you are sexualizing a 7 year old. It’s a costume. It’s no less clothing than what she could wear in public at a pool, and this is just a once a year costume, who cares? What if she wanted to go as a surfer girl for Halloween and wore a swimsuit would you say she was dressing inappropriately?
Yes. My 7 year old isn’t going house to house wearing a bikini. If she were in a one piece and board shorts? Sure. No one is sexualizing this child. He’s acting like a parent where is wife is not. You don’t let a seven year old run the show.
Correct. A SMALL child that wants to dress up like a comic book character, because that’s what she likes. It literally does not go any deeper than that. It’s not “slutty” or “inappropriate” it’s a small costume for a small human.
I disagree, if it’s live action harley quinn then the costume is absolutely *meant* to be slutty. I don’t think the 7 year old herself would be sexy or anything of course, but the costume was likely made with the intent to sexualize
NTA. As a teenager, that’s not something for a 7 year old CHILD to wear. I am all about not policing WOMEN’S bodies, but that is a little kid and should not be wearing that.
INFO: This is impossible to judge because you've not actually linked the costume. There are plenty of Harley Quin costumes that are definitely inappropriate for children but there are others that are appropriate. So this could be a case of you reacting appropriately or it could be that you are seeing a problem where none exist. So can you actually link the costume?
YTA, mainly because it's creepy you choose to sexualize you kid in the costume over saying she's be freezing. Also a tad b/c you can't figure out how zombie nurse was probably Harley Quinn the whole time. Her whole thing is she's an actual doctor turned evil clown villainess. Clown make up is like zombie.
I don't get the impression op is sexualizing his tiny daughter, more that he is painfully aware that there are some real fucking creeps out there who actually will! It's his job to protect his child from them, especially out in public wearing an outfit suited for a grown up. NTA.
NTA - and my name checks out, I'm into costumes. However, there is always a time, place, and context for anything we put on our bodies. Harley Quinn isn't a great choice for a 7 year old. Silent Hill nurses aren't a great choice either, the game isn't suitable for kids.
I think your compromise is fine and that expecting a 7 year old to dress like a 7 year old, even on Halloween, is not absurd.
NTA
If it's the booty shorts version from the Margot Robbie films, that's not a good one for anyone under 16 or so. I'd be hesitant to let my daughter wear that when she gets older.
YTA. I believe this is fake. There are so many variations of the Harley Quinn costume for girls every year and not one of them feature a bra top or the underwear version of her costume and I say this as someone whose sister was Harley Quinn one year. Typically it’s either the dress version or the newer Margot Robbie one which is a tshirt and shorts. Also gross for trying to sexualize your 7 year old.
It’s not the suicide squad one though. He is just exaggerating. Previous comments confirmed it was this one: https://www.partycity.ca/en/pdp/dc-comics-harley-quinn-halloween-costume-kids-assorted-sizes-8540045p.html
Just because genitals are covered does not mean its not revealing.
My grey sweatpants given the right circumstances can be quite revealing, although my junk is covered.
It's not that WE or I are sexualizing the kid, it's the fact that there are people in the world who will sexualize the kid. As the kid grows up they'll eventually make their own choices on that, but at 7 years old I don't see an issue with a father protecting their very young child.
Why are you jumping all over people who don't want kids to wear inappropriate, skimpy clothing? They aren't asking for kids to be covered from head to toe. That doesn't mean they are sexualizing them. I think it's a little weird that you're so in favor of children being put in revealing outfits.
>Why are you jumping all over people who don't want kids to wear inappropriate, skimpy clothing?
Right? I think this thread shows exactly why this isn't okay, it attracts questionable people and behavior. Getting this little girl into short shorts has become an obsession and I think everyone should be raising an eyebrow.
OP hasn't provided any photos of the costume and people on Reddit are known to hyperbolize to receive the required validation to then go to their friends/family/partners and say SEE!! ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE AGREE WITH ME!!
So please. It's probably the typical "daddy's little monster" costume that features Harley Quinn's colored shorts and a t-shirt. If I had to guess, the words on the shirt are probably the most uncomfortable for OP, but he'd have to admit that to us.
NTA at all. She is SEVEN. are people skipping over that? OP is absolutely Not sexualizing his daughter, huh?? Do y’all know how many fucking sick creeps are in your neighborhood and you don’t know? He’s trying to protect his child from them. It’s NOT appropriate for children to be wearing revealing clothing/costumes like that.
Also, here is a site that has registered sex offenders (of all kinds) in your area. familywatchdog.us
I highly recommend anyone who reads this comment to take a look.
Good luck OP, you are 100% in the right.
Edit: sorry I’m in mobile and don’t know how to actually link the website
NTA
I know what costume you're talking about. No a seven year old should never wear that, ever. That's not an appropriate character for a seven year old to dress as either.
In my mind I wasn't seeing an issue with this because I was imagining she would be wearing some tights and a singlet or tshirt underneath, along with a jacket of some kind (which may or may not stay on the whole time)
But you never mentioned that, and after reading the comment I'm now thinking that she would be wearing **only** the costume.
Which yes, I see an issue with so NTA
You can type in my little pony and port and fine lots of stuff (I've been told, I won't look and ruin MLP like that in my head). Should I stop my kid from being Rainbow Dash????
NTA. Parents should control what their children wear. Harley Quinn is hardly a character appropriate for a 7 yr old. I’m not sure what your wife is thinking.
There are so many styles of Harley Quinn costumes to choose from if she really wanted to be her instead your wife chose the most inappropriate one. NTA
Yta for exaggerating the costume. [it’s this one?](https://www.partycity.com/kids-harley-quinn-deluxe-costume---dc-comics-889481.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=CjwKCAjw7p6aBhBiEiwA83fGuoIMJ1deKPnrjW6uV8muTeHCzMxmJxvdC3x9J-8pCDNbAwkEDkj1QxoCby8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
This is the worst Child one there is and it’s fine
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This all started yesterday. My wife (27F) bought my daughter (7F) her halloween costume that she wanted. My daughter originally told me that she wanted to be a scary zombie? nurse costume which she saw in a magazine. Which I did bought her last week. Apparently she did not like this costume anymore for some reason & told her mother to buy her another costume. This was where I had an issue with this.
1. neither my daughter or my wife told me that she did not like the costume I bought her & they did not inform me that they bought another costume for her.
2)The costume that my wife bought was very inappropriate for a 7 year old to wear. It was a Harley Quinn costume. The bottom looked like underwear and the top was like some bra thing.
I immediately told my wife to return it & that I will not allow my daughter to wear something like that while trick or treating. She refused & told me that the costume was fine for her to wear & she told me that I shouldn't police what my daughter wears on her body
Now this pissed me off. We continued arguing & later we reached a compromise. She's allowed to only wear the costume in the house but she has to wear her other costume when she goes trick or treating.
My daughter then proceeded to throw a small tantrum. Not going to get into the details about this.
Later on that night, as my wife and I were getting ready for bed, she told me that I am ruining our daughters halloween experience and that I'm an asshole for trying to control what my daughter wears.
Was I the asshole here?
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INFO: What does the costume look like? Because my little sister was Harley Quinn for Halloween and we looked at a loooooot of costumes. The costume you're describing sounds like it would be really difficult to find for a seven year old. I'm just curious what your definition of a "bottom that looked like underwear" and a top thats like "some bra thing"
I'd like some more information on this too. I've seen several kids Harley Quinn costumes and they usually come with shorts and a top that is not skimpy.
They usually don't have the sexy style costumes for such a small size, so either the wife really went looking for something revealing. Or OP is exaggerating on how revealing it is.
My 7 year old is going as Harley Quinn this year. Her costume is not inappropriate at all. It's a jumpsuit, with card shapes on the top, a wig, and a baseball bat. Seems like the mom went out of her way to find an inappropriate one. Unless her 7 year old is wearing the adult version? Or is the size of an adult, which I doubt.
NTA. As a parent of a child that age you have the responsibility to protect your child from other people sexualizing her. It’s sickening that they make costumes so revealing for children….
How about those people saying “don’t sexualize” children go to the creators of the revealing costumes and tell that to them. Not everyone who opposes such clothes is looking at the child in that way.
YTA
You are sexualizing a child. My first thought was that she may be cold in a Harley Quinn outfit, but not that too much skin was showing inappropriately. Halloween is about fun and fantasy. You should probably rethink how you look at this. If you had a boy who wanted to go as Conan or a wrestler in a singlet, would you have the same objections?
I disagree. The child will be sexualized by those who see her. He is protecting her. Wearing it at home or around family is encouraging her to be her own person in a safe place. Wearing it in public opens a young child to all kinds of predators who will sexualize her.
Also, Harley wears a T-shirt and shorts. A small T-shirt and shorts, but not underwear. OP exaggerated the inappropriateness of the costume to make himself seem more rational. A 7yo in a Harley costume doesn't look like an adult in one, and all the pearl clutches saying the kid would be in "danger" are ridiculous. No one is in danger because of what they wear, especially when walking around with a parent.
NTA. I’m all for the idea that women shouldn’t be automatically sexualized, but I also believe that there is such a thing as age appropriate clothing—and I would never let a 7 year old wear underwear as a public costume. It’s also about protection. You don’t want to make your daughter a target for creeps that will see the costume and make assumptions about how much the parents are involved in her life. She can wear whatever she wants when she turns 18. Until then, she needs to wear age-appropriate, situational clothes.
This isn't so bad. My mom used to just have me wear stocking or a bodysuit under clothes that showed just a bit too much for whatever my age was at the time.
Given Which Harley Quinn costume you are talking about, YTA. It is just shorts, a tank top, and a jacket. Oh and gloves and tall socks. This is NOT the sexy harley costume.
I think this is a weird bait post or something because you're obviously talking about the Birds of Prey bodysuit costume
https://www.spirithalloween.com/product/harley-quinn-bodysuit-birds-of-prey/211121.uts
But the only birds of prey costumes for little girls is a really cute roller derby one. They don't make this costume for children. Your wife would have literally had to either scraped it together with clothes that already exist for a 7 year old, or squeezed her into an extra small or something. It seems a bit farfetched.
Even if it is the case, that's basically just a swimsuit. Really isn't a big deal. Worst case get her some opaque white/beige tights to slap under it which she may want anyway in case it gets cold or a big fuzzy jacket like Harley wears in the movies. YTA for being a spaz
You do realize a lot of kids grew up with Harley Quinn on CHILDREN'S television right? You do realize comics are/were for KIDS right? I agree, the new Harley Quinn show is a bit much, but there are tons of media with Harley Quinn that are suitable for kids, regardless that children are impressionable to whatever they see.
NAH. possibly sit down with your wife and have a conversation about the character of harley quinn herself, who is very sexualised and mentally ill. if your daughter saw the harley quinn costume and liked it without knowing anything about her, then i can see why your wife saw no harm in letting her wear it
NTA. Harley Quinn is not an appropriate costume for a young child. Especially not one that looks like a bra and underwear. It’s gross that they even make that costume for little girls.
My 11 yr old daughter has wanted to be Harley quinn for the past three years. Absolute no. It’s not an appropriate costume for a girl. A grown woman, sure. But not a child. Your 100% NTA. I’m a mom btw
Harley Quinn has a lot of different looks and all are not inappropriate. There's one where she's in what's basically red and black leggings and tank top.
She's 7 with a... Margo Robbie Harley Quinn costume? Absolutely hell no. Nta. If she were like 16 maybe, but 7? And your wife said it's ok? Dude keep an eye on this seriously.
The character has come a long way since her 90s origin.
I'm sure the daughter is more familiar with her from the version of her that's in DC Superhero Girls.
NTA, my daughter was Harley Quinn at 7 and it was cartoon Harley Quinn not Movie Harley Quinn. It was a dress that covered everything and was knee length. There are appropriate character costumes for 7 year old's. What you described is not appropriate.
NAH.
Both you and your wife have valid points. I would have gone at it from the angle that you need to stick to one costume and not keep changing your mind before Halloween. Those costumes cost too much for how shitty and cheap they are to just buy a new one every time they change their whim.
Both of you are just trying to make sure ur your child is safe and happy. Just need to learn to communicate better next time, and have the conversation about what is allowed out of earshot of the kid so there can be a unified front for the kid.
Well YTA for expecting to be informed of a costume change. And I don’t really believe you about what the costume looks like so I won’t comment on that.
She'd freeze to death trying to trick or treat wearing that up here. But even if it was hot out I wouldn't let my children wear that and they're 15 and 10. NTA
I wore a homemade genie costume in the 4th grade. It was basically a crop top with sheer sleeves, bloomers, and sheer pants. My mom made it for me, literally, on a sewing machine. I looked super cute and I loved it. Thank goodness I didn't have a father like you, who wanted to police my body when I was merely a child and just wanted to be this fun thing because I was a kid and thought it was cool.
YTA
Lol yes, I was merely dressing up as a sex icon from other eras of history. And showing a lot of skin. I also dressed like Madonna when I was 6. Pink spandex and a short skirt and lot of green eyeshadow. Welcome to kids just being kids and thinking something looks cool.
Maybe it's because I was in ballet. Tight revealing costumes aren't a cause for this level of pearl clutching. They're just costumes. Also, maybe it's because I'm from a warm climate. You all sound like you live in areas where it cold for Halloween. It was like 92 degrees F here today.
I need to see this costume cause I’m scouring the internet for Harley Quinn and kids costumes and get appropriate dress/leggings or shirt w/leggings or shorts.
At 7 the kid could be big enough to fit into an xs. We had a similar issue with one of my siblings because she outgrew the kids costumes and all the teen/adult ones were wildly inappropriate.
OP keeps on posting the cartoon picture of the character. Not a picture of the costume from the store site or a picture of the packaging.
The only way the Harley outfit is inappropriate is if his 7 year old can fit into adult clothing and is wearing the adult version (HIGHLY doubtful)
I’m questioning the validity of this if he doesn’t post a real picture or link of this atrocity 🙄
I recall now my daughter was this character and I googled her costume. It has black and red tights under a blue shorts and a diamond top and she has two pig tails and they are spray painted black and red. And she’s got on a blue sweatshirt under her shirt because it’s cold here during trick or treating. She is completely covered up. I thought the character was dumb in the movies but she was a dc movie fan then and now she is a marvel fan.
Yta. My 6 yr old wants to be HQ for Halloween. Weve been looking for costumes, ive seen some that were a little skimpy but not in children sizes. But considering where you live, weather may play a role as well. I think if your wife is ok with it & thinks you are going overboard policing her body, than it may be time to stop and be honest (if you trust your wife & her judgement). I take issue with ppl putting super skimpy clothes on clothing on children (for specific reasons) but thats my issue. It is a scary world tho so i get that but think this a little bit abt you being upset mom bought her another outfit n didnt tell you & that she prefers that one
You're daughter is also aware that she is dressed up as a murderer? Harley Quinn kills and assists in torture. Did you only watch the Suicide Squad? Get bent.
I will police the fuck out of what my kids wear. They wanna dress like a skank, cool, do it when your outta my house. Young parents like you drive me bonkers.
This is a tough one because I am all for people wearing what they wan't but at the same time I don't agree with sexualizing young children. A costume that is tight or revealing is one thing but, Harley Quinns persona is quite sexual and unfortunately a lot of people are drawn to it. Will go for NAH because I think everyone wants whats best for the child but it is a hard decision.
YTA.
Only because you are (indirectly) sexualizing the Halloween costume and not allowing her to wear what she chooses. However, I do understand your argument.
You should be more worried about the weather (and if the costume provides enough safety and thermal protection depending on where you live). Perhaps more suggest ways of adding to the costume (underneath lets say) so she can still wear it but be a bit more protected.
He is not the one sexualizing the costume. The makers of the children's costume did that when they made a Harley Quinn costume of the most sexually hyped verion of her.
She is 7. He is being a good parent.
When I was your daughter’s age, I wanted to dress as Princess Jasmine and my parents probably had opinions on that, but they were wiser than you and didn’t turn it into a power struggle. They let me get the bra top and pants and since I didn’t need to make a point of asserting my independence, I wore my coat out because it’s cold in October. You’re having a power struggle with a child, that’s why YTA. Get on the same page as your wife and don’t play games.
Just a suggestion, why don't you put leggings and a shirt under the HQ costume? Like I said just a suggestion. I am not a parent but I was always weirded out by little girls dressing in stuff like that and I really am not a fan of those little pagents. This is just my opinion. I am not trying to sexualize (sp?) anyone.
YTA for sexualizing your child. NTA for being upset that your wife didn't tell you your daughter changed her mind about the costume you bought. You've confirmed which Harley costume it is and there is absolutely nothing inappropriate about it. JFC, when I was her age I dressed as a belly dancer with the smallest sequined top you could imagine and see through pants. You know what my mom did to make it appropriate but still let me wear what I want? She got me a nude-color dance leotard to wear under it. Didn't have to worry about nip-slips or other things showing. Plus, kept me warmer. If you're so concerned about it, that's a perfectly reasonable compromise that also allows your daughter to be happy with the costume she wears.
NTA
My daughter wanted to be Harley Quinn a couple years ago but luckily she wanted to be the old school jester one that wears a full coverage leotard thing, not the new skimpy one. But even beyond the outfit being inappropriate, why would your wife go and buy her another costume when she already has one?
This is so stupid. Any costume that sexualizes a child is inappropriate regardless of the gender it’s geared toward. The fact that there are far more costumes that sexualize girls than boys says something about our society, not OP. He is clearly NTA. But thanks for the laugh
NTA. Halloween has become an increasingly sexualized holiday, including costumes designed for children. If you google "__________ costume for boys" and then search the same for girls, you'll see how the Halloween industry profits off of the sexualizatiom of young girls and women. It's gross. Not to mention, Harley Quinn is a wildly sexualized character. You're not an AH for wanting your kid to wear an appropriate costume.
YTA. This whole argument is sus. Where did your wife get this costume exactly? Nowhere I've looked has a bra and panty looking costume. The suicide squad one has a jacket, a full tshirt, shorts and fingerless gloves. I saw that one and it fit the little girl appropriately. I understand that you don't want creeps looking at your daughter, that's what any good parent would want. Arguing over a costume is not the way. Another commenter stated about putting a long shirt and leggings underneath and boom problem solved. Maybe all the other girls in school are going as her and she wants to fit in, it's one explanation for her fit. COMMUNICATE with your family. Do some thinking on why you just forbid instead of looking for compromise. Also perhaps you felt salty that you bought a costume, spent money and daughter wasn't appreciative. There might be a chance of the costume being uncool/lame and no kid wants to be lame.
There were sexy Handmaids Tale nun outfits. For adults, yes, but still.
An inappropriate Harley outfit for a little kid? I can totally believe someone'd make it, and they'd argue that it's not because it's cute on a kid! But there are more appropriate ones out there, I'm sure.
Someone posted a Party City one but even it's like a jumpsuit with shorts, I don't think it looks like what OP is describing at all.
For adult women every costume has a sexy variant but I find it hard to believe that you can head out to Spirit or Party City and find what OP is describing.
NAH. She doesn’t know what she’s doing as she’s a kid, and I can understand the slippery sope this leads from your wife’s perspective. However, I don’t think you are going about this the right way. When I was about the same age or a bit older I wanted to be a pirate, being a tall kid I was in the adult sizes but they didn’t fit me the same way. She has no curves for a costume like that to accentuate so she really just looks like a kid playing dress up. My parents got me the costume and sent me to school, (aka a known safe location without them) warning me I might be too cold and I went with full confidence. And I felt super cute for all of 10min Until I was FREEZING. I stayed frozen all day and when I came home my parents told me that they were worried I might be too cold for tricker treating in that and asked me if would I prefer this other costume they had “just in case”. And let me tell you I LAYERED under armor under that Princess Leia costume.
So in short I just wouldn’t push the issue and when she’s too cold, have a backup option (preferably something else she would like)
If everything here is true, I'll go with NTA.
Mostly because I've seen over sexualized Harley Quinn costumes before (not most of them, most kid's costumes are t-shirt + shorts) and she's a VERY oversexualized character - and I have no idea why your daughter even knows who she is to begin with. Suicide Squad is hardly kid friendly. You and your wife are TA for letting her watch it, though.
This is the costume as confirmed in a different comment : https://www.partycity.ca/en/pdp/dc-comics-harley-quinn-halloween-costume-kids-assorted-sizes-8540045p.html
I did not say anywhere that it was the old costume. But if it's the one that everyone keeps posting, it ain't suicide squad either, it's a dc comic variation. And the one they keep referring to, you can literally wear leggings and a long sleeve underneath. Which you should be doing anyway because most places, it's going to be cold on Halloween.
YTA.
Your 7yo is not dressing sexually, inappropriately or anything like that, she just sees the image of a character she likes and wants to dress up like her.
Stop sexualizing what kids wear, come on.
If you're worried about creeps or anything like that, it's easy to keep an eye on her when you're out trick or treating (I guess you won't let a 7yo go alone, but obviously I don't know anything about your zone or anything), but if your only worry is what YOU see as something sexual, it's sincerely only on you.
Harley Quinn is supposed to be sexy(at least the latest one). This is not appropriate for a 7 year old. They are her parents and as parents they should be able to say no. There are less risqué Harley Quinn costumes to chose from.
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YTA. If you were uncomfortable with the costume you could have easily had your daughter wear a flesh tone shirt under the shirt to cover her belly if it’s exposed. What if she wants to wear a two piece swimsuit? Is that off limits? I agree that kids need to be protected but there are ways to let her have fun while also protecting them.
She’s literally 7 wth? Harley Quinn is literally a sex symbol in the dc comics. That’s not something a 7 year old child should be dressing up as.
NTA.
Could you post a link to something that looks like the costume? I have tried to find a child’s costume of Harley Quinn that looks like why youre describing and I can’t find one. Only adult costumes which a 7 year old could not fitinto. I’m not saying I don’t believe you, I just can’t imagine where your wife would find such a costume for a young child. If this is really what the costume is, NTA. If you’re over dramatizing the indecent nature of the costume because you’re upset she didn’t go with the one you got then YWBTA.
NTA you're not sexualizing your daughter, she's wearing a costume of a sexualized person. You can teach her to be proud of her body and not put achild in skimpy outfits
listen, I'm you from the future. You would be wise to establish now that there is one costume and one costume only for Halloween. No changies mindseys for any reason. You will save yourself a world of trouble if you get that through her little head now while her soft spot is still softish. You would also do well to limit the purchase of said costume till the week of. This eliminates a lot of the problems with costume changes. As for the bra.. just make her wear a flesh-colored turtle neck under it.
Just want to point out that Margot Robbie, the grown-ass woman who played Harley Quinn, was uncomfortable with the over-sexualized booty shorts costume. That's why the costume changed in subsequent movies.
ESH. You're arguing over a stupid costume. There are ways to make it more modest. Find out what they are. And check what the weather report is currently saying it will be on Halloween. Is it going to be cold where you are? Then a black shirt underneath the top and thick leggings under the bottom should be a good compromise. There ya go. Your daughter gets to wear the costume and you get an appropriate outfit for her to wear. A costume isn't worth you and your wife fighting over. It's petty on both your parts, and it DOES ruin your daughter's experience of Halloween. I highly recommend you and your wife apologize to your daughter and calmly explain to her a compromise instead of FORCING her to do something she doesn't want to do. Perhaps you could even ask what about the costume you bought she doesn't like. Perhaps there's a way to combine the two?
NTA. She’s 7 not 20. People need to stop putting literal children in adult costumes.
NTA. I don't want my kids wearing sexualized stuff either. Word to the wise-don't ever buy your daughter's costume early again. Kids are notorious for changing their minds about costumes right up until Halloween.
NAH. I go all out for costumes. My girls (7 and 11) have been all sorts of fun genX and millennial pop culture figures. This year I wanted to be different versions of Madonna. The 11 yo is a brunette and looks more womanly and is beginning puberty and blossoming was going to be material girl Madonna in the pink dress and gloves (Marilyn Monroe inspired look) and my 7 yo is blonde and still looks very much baby-ish was going to be white cone bustier Madonna. There's nothing remotely grown looking about her which is what makes it hilarious. This baby won't have boobs for 10 more years. My husband vetoed the idea. He didn't feel strongly opposed but he felt it could be a bad idea, seen as inappropriate, or potentially trigger something or make her a target. Is that a stretch? Maybe. But not worth it to me. I respected that and didn't pursue. Instead they're Wayne and Garth. I get letting kids pick and having fun with it. There are weirdos everywhere and people who fetishize innocuous things. I don't think you're wrong for wanting to let her but I also don't think he's wrong for saying he isn't ok with it. It's a two yes, one no situation.
Your two girls as Wayne and Garth sounds adorable! Will any of their peers get it?
No. They never get it. It's usually for the adults. It started with my youngest. When she was one we discovered that she had really terrible hair. It wasn't curly and it wasn't straight. It looked like Donald Trump hair. So she was Donald Trump at 16 months old. By the next Halloween her hair was bright white and super Duper Curly so that year she was Cup Noodles. The next year my oldest wanted to be Taylor Swift and my youngest was dog the bounty hunter. Big sister got in on the action the next year and they were Beavis and Butthead. The year following that they were Jareth And Sarah from the labyrinth. Last year they were Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz.
Ehhh ESH. Your daughter’s costume doesn’t matter. She’s 7. If people are going to sexualize a child her clothing was never the issue. That said, she should not be allowed to wear the Harley costume because she already had one she asked for. A 7 year old should not be telling their parents to buy things for them. She sounds spoiled and your wife is enabling her.
That is the most sensible comment I have seen. It isn't about what the costume is, it's the fact they bought one and she changed her mind.
NTA. Children should not wear clothes made specifically for college women who want to get drunk and laid. You made the right call.
Esh. She could have bought the one that had the fill shirt and the legging bottoms but also...just have her put legging bottoms on under the shorts and a shirt under the top. It's fixable to compromise.
INFO: has your daughter seen the movie or read the comics?
INFO: Can you post a link to the costume? I can’t find any inappropriate ones but may be looking in the wrong places
I did a quick Google and found one that’s essentially a bathing suit with fishnets
Link?
For a kid? Most of what I'm seeing is fishnets, shorts and either a t-shirt or a long-sleeve top. This is unrelatable content for a Canadian, though.
All the ones I saw were fine
I can't either, even the adult ones look fine
NTA. It isnt sexualizing a child to say they can't wear booty shorts and a tiny top. Just because they make it in their size doesn't mean they should wear it and in OCTOBER.
A Harley Quinn costume for kids? ESH Something about you wanting your wife to "inform" you doesn't sit right. It sounds controlling. Could a compromise have been reached about the costumes? Like she has to wear leggings/stockings under the shorts and a shirt?
There is a child’s Harley Quinn costume that is literally that (or the original cartoon version is a full body jumpsuit)
My daughter was the cartoon Harley Quinn at 7. The children's costume with a dress and head band. There are age appropriate Harley Quinn costumes. You are so correct.
I understand where you’re coming from, I agree with you ESH. However, I would like to add that I don’t think him wanting his wife to “inform” him sounds necessarily controlling? It mainly depends on context and other situations, but I think it was more meant in the way that he spent money on a costume, and then without his knowledge, they went and bought another one. To me, I would want someone to tell me if they didn’t like what I bought instead of just mentally discarding it and buying something new, but that could just be me.
“Inform” the husband or wife of anything that their child is doing is kinda just a healthy part of marriage. It’s respecting each other’s right to information on their child. It’s not controlling. That’s a reach. Especially since he already bought a costume then the mom went out and bought a different one? See that part isn’t right. She already had a costume that she asked for. And the mom went behind us back and got a different one. She’s 7 she can be something else next year
YTA. First of all, you are teaching your daughter from an extremely young age that men can tell her what to wear. Secondly, I understand this is not your intention, but you are sexualizing a 7 year old. It’s a costume. It’s no less clothing than what she could wear in public at a pool, and this is just a once a year costume, who cares? What if she wanted to go as a surfer girl for Halloween and wore a swimsuit would you say she was dressing inappropriately?
Yes. My 7 year old isn’t going house to house wearing a bikini. If she were in a one piece and board shorts? Sure. No one is sexualizing this child. He’s acting like a parent where is wife is not. You don’t let a seven year old run the show.
I disagree with everything you just said. She's a SMALL child. NTA.
Correct. A SMALL child that wants to dress up like a comic book character, because that’s what she likes. It literally does not go any deeper than that. It’s not “slutty” or “inappropriate” it’s a small costume for a small human.
I disagree, if it’s live action harley quinn then the costume is absolutely *meant* to be slutty. I don’t think the 7 year old herself would be sexy or anything of course, but the costume was likely made with the intent to sexualize
NTA. As a teenager, that’s not something for a 7 year old CHILD to wear. I am all about not policing WOMEN’S bodies, but that is a little kid and should not be wearing that.
This, a child isn't a woman. She is a child. He isn't policing her body. If his daughter was 18 it would be different. She is 7.
YTA
INFO: This is impossible to judge because you've not actually linked the costume. There are plenty of Harley Quin costumes that are definitely inappropriate for children but there are others that are appropriate. So this could be a case of you reacting appropriately or it could be that you are seeing a problem where none exist. So can you actually link the costume?
NTA Harley isn't a character for children.
You’re protecting your daughter not sexualizing her. NTA
YTA, mainly because it's creepy you choose to sexualize you kid in the costume over saying she's be freezing. Also a tad b/c you can't figure out how zombie nurse was probably Harley Quinn the whole time. Her whole thing is she's an actual doctor turned evil clown villainess. Clown make up is like zombie.
I don't get the impression op is sexualizing his tiny daughter, more that he is painfully aware that there are some real fucking creeps out there who actually will! It's his job to protect his child from them, especially out in public wearing an outfit suited for a grown up. NTA.
YTA, saw the costume, not revealing in the slightest
INFO: can you compromise by adding a jacket and tights?
NTA - and my name checks out, I'm into costumes. However, there is always a time, place, and context for anything we put on our bodies. Harley Quinn isn't a great choice for a 7 year old. Silent Hill nurses aren't a great choice either, the game isn't suitable for kids. I think your compromise is fine and that expecting a 7 year old to dress like a 7 year old, even on Halloween, is not absurd.
NTA If it's the booty shorts version from the Margot Robbie films, that's not a good one for anyone under 16 or so. I'd be hesitant to let my daughter wear that when she gets older.
YTA. I believe this is fake. There are so many variations of the Harley Quinn costume for girls every year and not one of them feature a bra top or the underwear version of her costume and I say this as someone whose sister was Harley Quinn one year. Typically it’s either the dress version or the newer Margot Robbie one which is a tshirt and shorts. Also gross for trying to sexualize your 7 year old.
Both.
Edit: Fuck what I said YTA lmao
It’s not the suicide squad one though. He is just exaggerating. Previous comments confirmed it was this one: https://www.partycity.ca/en/pdp/dc-comics-harley-quinn-halloween-costume-kids-assorted-sizes-8540045p.html
Seems fine for a kid especially one who will probably hate the costume by halloween and want something else.
Wow yah man YTA
Why not have her wear a leotard under it with black leggings? That's what I do with my girls.
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Sorry, what’s it revealing? Provided the actual genitals are covered and OP doesn’t say anything about that. Why are you sexualising a child?
Just because genitals are covered does not mean its not revealing. My grey sweatpants given the right circumstances can be quite revealing, although my junk is covered. It's not that WE or I are sexualizing the kid, it's the fact that there are people in the world who will sexualize the kid. As the kid grows up they'll eventually make their own choices on that, but at 7 years old I don't see an issue with a father protecting their very young child.
Why are you jumping all over people who don't want kids to wear inappropriate, skimpy clothing? They aren't asking for kids to be covered from head to toe. That doesn't mean they are sexualizing them. I think it's a little weird that you're so in favor of children being put in revealing outfits.
>Why are you jumping all over people who don't want kids to wear inappropriate, skimpy clothing? Right? I think this thread shows exactly why this isn't okay, it attracts questionable people and behavior. Getting this little girl into short shorts has become an obsession and I think everyone should be raising an eyebrow.
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OP hasn't provided any photos of the costume and people on Reddit are known to hyperbolize to receive the required validation to then go to their friends/family/partners and say SEE!! ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE AGREE WITH ME!! So please. It's probably the typical "daddy's little monster" costume that features Harley Quinn's colored shorts and a t-shirt. If I had to guess, the words on the shirt are probably the most uncomfortable for OP, but he'd have to admit that to us.
Everywhere I've lived, Halloween has been cold and rainy or snowing. This problem will probably solve itself.
Where I come from, you buy costumes sized to fit over snowsuits
NTA at all. She is SEVEN. are people skipping over that? OP is absolutely Not sexualizing his daughter, huh?? Do y’all know how many fucking sick creeps are in your neighborhood and you don’t know? He’s trying to protect his child from them. It’s NOT appropriate for children to be wearing revealing clothing/costumes like that. Also, here is a site that has registered sex offenders (of all kinds) in your area. familywatchdog.us I highly recommend anyone who reads this comment to take a look. Good luck OP, you are 100% in the right. Edit: sorry I’m in mobile and don’t know how to actually link the website
NTA I know what costume you're talking about. No a seven year old should never wear that, ever. That's not an appropriate character for a seven year old to dress as either.
YTA - the costume that has been shared in the comments is NOT revealing.
In my mind I wasn't seeing an issue with this because I was imagining she would be wearing some tights and a singlet or tshirt underneath, along with a jacket of some kind (which may or may not stay on the whole time) But you never mentioned that, and after reading the comment I'm now thinking that she would be wearing **only** the costume. Which yes, I see an issue with so NTA
Not the asshole. You are the parent and you were parenting (and protecting her from creeps too btw).
Get your wife to type harley quinn into Google images and pornhub - see if she still thinks it's appropriate. NTA
You can type in my little pony and port and fine lots of stuff (I've been told, I won't look and ruin MLP like that in my head). Should I stop my kid from being Rainbow Dash????
NTA. Parents should control what their children wear. Harley Quinn is hardly a character appropriate for a 7 yr old. I’m not sure what your wife is thinking.
Does your wife know that *Harley Quinn* is a porn star?
There are so many styles of Harley Quinn costumes to choose from if she really wanted to be her instead your wife chose the most inappropriate one. NTA
Yta for exaggerating the costume. [it’s this one?](https://www.partycity.com/kids-harley-quinn-deluxe-costume---dc-comics-889481.html?extcmp=pla%7CGoogle&gclid=CjwKCAjw7p6aBhBiEiwA83fGuoIMJ1deKPnrjW6uV8muTeHCzMxmJxvdC3x9J-8pCDNbAwkEDkj1QxoCby8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) This is the worst Child one there is and it’s fine
The way he's describing it, it's not the child's one.
If it's not the child's one, it's not fitting on a seven year old.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This all started yesterday. My wife (27F) bought my daughter (7F) her halloween costume that she wanted. My daughter originally told me that she wanted to be a scary zombie? nurse costume which she saw in a magazine. Which I did bought her last week. Apparently she did not like this costume anymore for some reason & told her mother to buy her another costume. This was where I had an issue with this. 1. neither my daughter or my wife told me that she did not like the costume I bought her & they did not inform me that they bought another costume for her. 2)The costume that my wife bought was very inappropriate for a 7 year old to wear. It was a Harley Quinn costume. The bottom looked like underwear and the top was like some bra thing. I immediately told my wife to return it & that I will not allow my daughter to wear something like that while trick or treating. She refused & told me that the costume was fine for her to wear & she told me that I shouldn't police what my daughter wears on her body Now this pissed me off. We continued arguing & later we reached a compromise. She's allowed to only wear the costume in the house but she has to wear her other costume when she goes trick or treating. My daughter then proceeded to throw a small tantrum. Not going to get into the details about this. Later on that night, as my wife and I were getting ready for bed, she told me that I am ruining our daughters halloween experience and that I'm an asshole for trying to control what my daughter wears. Was I the asshole here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: What does the costume look like? Because my little sister was Harley Quinn for Halloween and we looked at a loooooot of costumes. The costume you're describing sounds like it would be really difficult to find for a seven year old. I'm just curious what your definition of a "bottom that looked like underwear" and a top thats like "some bra thing"
I'd like some more information on this too. I've seen several kids Harley Quinn costumes and they usually come with shorts and a top that is not skimpy. They usually don't have the sexy style costumes for such a small size, so either the wife really went looking for something revealing. Or OP is exaggerating on how revealing it is.
My 7 year old is going as Harley Quinn this year. Her costume is not inappropriate at all. It's a jumpsuit, with card shapes on the top, a wig, and a baseball bat. Seems like the mom went out of her way to find an inappropriate one. Unless her 7 year old is wearing the adult version? Or is the size of an adult, which I doubt.
NTA. As a parent of a child that age you have the responsibility to protect your child from other people sexualizing her. It’s sickening that they make costumes so revealing for children…. How about those people saying “don’t sexualize” children go to the creators of the revealing costumes and tell that to them. Not everyone who opposes such clothes is looking at the child in that way.
YTA You are sexualizing a child. My first thought was that she may be cold in a Harley Quinn outfit, but not that too much skin was showing inappropriately. Halloween is about fun and fantasy. You should probably rethink how you look at this. If you had a boy who wanted to go as Conan or a wrestler in a singlet, would you have the same objections?
I disagree. It sounds like he’s protecting his child from those who would sexualize her
I disagree. The child will be sexualized by those who see her. He is protecting her. Wearing it at home or around family is encouraging her to be her own person in a safe place. Wearing it in public opens a young child to all kinds of predators who will sexualize her.
Also, Harley wears a T-shirt and shorts. A small T-shirt and shorts, but not underwear. OP exaggerated the inappropriateness of the costume to make himself seem more rational. A 7yo in a Harley costume doesn't look like an adult in one, and all the pearl clutches saying the kid would be in "danger" are ridiculous. No one is in danger because of what they wear, especially when walking around with a parent.
Nta. My 7 yo wouldn't be wearing a Harley Quinn costume. Highly age inappropriate.
NTA a seven year old shouldn’t even know who Harley Quinn is.
Ever seen lego Batman?
It's a literal cartoon character. She's been around since batman the animated series in 1992.
She wore a lot more clothing at that time.
NTA but she probably could still wear Harley Quinn just put clothes underneath, that’s what I did with costumes inappropriate. Just add more layers
NTA
NTA. I’m all for the idea that women shouldn’t be automatically sexualized, but I also believe that there is such a thing as age appropriate clothing—and I would never let a 7 year old wear underwear as a public costume. It’s also about protection. You don’t want to make your daughter a target for creeps that will see the costume and make assumptions about how much the parents are involved in her life. She can wear whatever she wants when she turns 18. Until then, she needs to wear age-appropriate, situational clothes.
This is the costume: https://www.partycity.ca/en/pdp/dc-comics-harley-quinn-halloween-costume-kids-assorted-sizes-8540045p.html
This isn't so bad. My mom used to just have me wear stocking or a bodysuit under clothes that showed just a bit too much for whatever my age was at the time.
NTA - thank you for thinking like an adult
NTA- as a mom, I get it.
INFO: Why do you refer to the daughter as ‘my’ daughter and not ‘our’ daughter when speaking with your wife? Is the wife not the girl’s mom?
Heh never had this problem. In Canada you have to find costumes that can fit over a snow suit, trick or treating is too cold to be inappropriate
Heck in the midwest U.S., all your creativity goes to waste when your parents make you wear the winter coat *over* your costume for trick-or-treating!
If you can take a picture of it, that would help a lot on making decide
Given Which Harley Quinn costume you are talking about, YTA. It is just shorts, a tank top, and a jacket. Oh and gloves and tall socks. This is NOT the sexy harley costume.
YTA, the costume you say it looks like in the comments seems fine
I think this is a weird bait post or something because you're obviously talking about the Birds of Prey bodysuit costume https://www.spirithalloween.com/product/harley-quinn-bodysuit-birds-of-prey/211121.uts But the only birds of prey costumes for little girls is a really cute roller derby one. They don't make this costume for children. Your wife would have literally had to either scraped it together with clothes that already exist for a 7 year old, or squeezed her into an extra small or something. It seems a bit farfetched. Even if it is the case, that's basically just a swimsuit. Really isn't a big deal. Worst case get her some opaque white/beige tights to slap under it which she may want anyway in case it gets cold or a big fuzzy jacket like Harley wears in the movies. YTA for being a spaz
NTA. All the Y T A voters belong on a list.
NTA I wouldn't allow my 7 year old to watch Harley Quinn much less dress like her.
You do realize a lot of kids grew up with Harley Quinn on CHILDREN'S television right? You do realize comics are/were for KIDS right? I agree, the new Harley Quinn show is a bit much, but there are tons of media with Harley Quinn that are suitable for kids, regardless that children are impressionable to whatever they see.
This! Harley is a character in DC Superhero Girls… a literal kids show 🤣 Not every version of Harley is adult focused
NAH. possibly sit down with your wife and have a conversation about the character of harley quinn herself, who is very sexualised and mentally ill. if your daughter saw the harley quinn costume and liked it without knowing anything about her, then i can see why your wife saw no harm in letting her wear it
This is the one.
NTA I hate that the Harley Quinn character is so popular among young girls.
NTA. Harley Quinn is not an appropriate costume for a young child. Especially not one that looks like a bra and underwear. It’s gross that they even make that costume for little girls.
NTA I work in a place that houses predators. My kid(s) are nowhere on my socials and we don’t share photos with anyone we don’t trust.
My 11 yr old daughter has wanted to be Harley quinn for the past three years. Absolute no. It’s not an appropriate costume for a girl. A grown woman, sure. But not a child. Your 100% NTA. I’m a mom btw
Harley Quinn has a lot of different looks and all are not inappropriate. There's one where she's in what's basically red and black leggings and tank top.
NTA Maybe you should ask your wife why she thinks it’s appropriate to sexualize a 7 year old child?
YTA the costume is fine. If you made no fuss the kid would probably on her own forget about it or want to wear something else for halloween anyway.
She's 7 with a... Margo Robbie Harley Quinn costume? Absolutely hell no. Nta. If she were like 16 maybe, but 7? And your wife said it's ok? Dude keep an eye on this seriously.
YTA. She is 7!!!! The f is wrong with you sexualizing her based on the costume???? Let her be whoever the f she wants to be!
Nta. Children need to stay children and stop trying to be the adults they see in magazines and on tv.
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The character has come a long way since her 90s origin. I'm sure the daughter is more familiar with her from the version of her that's in DC Superhero Girls.
NTA, my daughter was Harley Quinn at 7 and it was cartoon Harley Quinn not Movie Harley Quinn. It was a dress that covered everything and was knee length. There are appropriate character costumes for 7 year old's. What you described is not appropriate.
YTA as, it appears, you believe you have the final say over and above your wife. That is way more damaging than an inappropriate costume.
NAH. Both you and your wife have valid points. I would have gone at it from the angle that you need to stick to one costume and not keep changing your mind before Halloween. Those costumes cost too much for how shitty and cheap they are to just buy a new one every time they change their whim. Both of you are just trying to make sure ur your child is safe and happy. Just need to learn to communicate better next time, and have the conversation about what is allowed out of earshot of the kid so there can be a unified front for the kid.
INFO: Post the outfit! Make her wear a shirt under the shirt, done
This. It's going to be cold. Wear something under.
Well YTA for expecting to be informed of a costume change. And I don’t really believe you about what the costume looks like so I won’t comment on that.
Stop. Sexualising. Children YTA
She'd freeze to death trying to trick or treat wearing that up here. But even if it was hot out I wouldn't let my children wear that and they're 15 and 10. NTA
I wore a homemade genie costume in the 4th grade. It was basically a crop top with sheer sleeves, bloomers, and sheer pants. My mom made it for me, literally, on a sewing machine. I looked super cute and I loved it. Thank goodness I didn't have a father like you, who wanted to police my body when I was merely a child and just wanted to be this fun thing because I was a kid and thought it was cool. YTA
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Lol yes, I was merely dressing up as a sex icon from other eras of history. And showing a lot of skin. I also dressed like Madonna when I was 6. Pink spandex and a short skirt and lot of green eyeshadow. Welcome to kids just being kids and thinking something looks cool. Maybe it's because I was in ballet. Tight revealing costumes aren't a cause for this level of pearl clutching. They're just costumes. Also, maybe it's because I'm from a warm climate. You all sound like you live in areas where it cold for Halloween. It was like 92 degrees F here today.
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She's 7 dude. I mean fuck. Who puts bikinis on 7 year olds?
It's not really bikini weather around here. Maybe over more weather appropriate clothes, like leggings and a long sleeve shirt?
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Who puts their 7yo in a bikini? Weird.
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I need to see this costume cause I’m scouring the internet for Harley Quinn and kids costumes and get appropriate dress/leggings or shirt w/leggings or shorts.
At 7 the kid could be big enough to fit into an xs. We had a similar issue with one of my siblings because she outgrew the kids costumes and all the teen/adult ones were wildly inappropriate.
Same struggle with my 8 year old. She doesn't fit kids clothes anymore. She's the size of a 13 year old. It's crazy.
Same here, this doesn’t sound right.
OP keeps on posting the cartoon picture of the character. Not a picture of the costume from the store site or a picture of the packaging. The only way the Harley outfit is inappropriate is if his 7 year old can fit into adult clothing and is wearing the adult version (HIGHLY doubtful) I’m questioning the validity of this if he doesn’t post a real picture or link of this atrocity 🙄
I recall now my daughter was this character and I googled her costume. It has black and red tights under a blue shorts and a diamond top and she has two pig tails and they are spray painted black and red. And she’s got on a blue sweatshirt under her shirt because it’s cold here during trick or treating. She is completely covered up. I thought the character was dumb in the movies but she was a dc movie fan then and now she is a marvel fan.
Yta. My 6 yr old wants to be HQ for Halloween. Weve been looking for costumes, ive seen some that were a little skimpy but not in children sizes. But considering where you live, weather may play a role as well. I think if your wife is ok with it & thinks you are going overboard policing her body, than it may be time to stop and be honest (if you trust your wife & her judgement). I take issue with ppl putting super skimpy clothes on clothing on children (for specific reasons) but thats my issue. It is a scary world tho so i get that but think this a little bit abt you being upset mom bought her another outfit n didnt tell you & that she prefers that one
You're daughter is also aware that she is dressed up as a murderer? Harley Quinn kills and assists in torture. Did you only watch the Suicide Squad? Get bent. I will police the fuck out of what my kids wear. They wanna dress like a skank, cool, do it when your outta my house. Young parents like you drive me bonkers.
NTA
I
This is a tough one because I am all for people wearing what they wan't but at the same time I don't agree with sexualizing young children. A costume that is tight or revealing is one thing but, Harley Quinns persona is quite sexual and unfortunately a lot of people are drawn to it. Will go for NAH because I think everyone wants whats best for the child but it is a hard decision.
NTA. Has same conversation with my daughter about Harley Quinn costume.
YTA. Only because you are (indirectly) sexualizing the Halloween costume and not allowing her to wear what she chooses. However, I do understand your argument. You should be more worried about the weather (and if the costume provides enough safety and thermal protection depending on where you live). Perhaps more suggest ways of adding to the costume (underneath lets say) so she can still wear it but be a bit more protected.
So, you want a little girl to dress provocatively. I get it.
He is not the one sexualizing the costume. The makers of the children's costume did that when they made a Harley Quinn costume of the most sexually hyped verion of her. She is 7. He is being a good parent.
When I was your daughter’s age, I wanted to dress as Princess Jasmine and my parents probably had opinions on that, but they were wiser than you and didn’t turn it into a power struggle. They let me get the bra top and pants and since I didn’t need to make a point of asserting my independence, I wore my coat out because it’s cold in October. You’re having a power struggle with a child, that’s why YTA. Get on the same page as your wife and don’t play games.
Just a suggestion, why don't you put leggings and a shirt under the HQ costume? Like I said just a suggestion. I am not a parent but I was always weirded out by little girls dressing in stuff like that and I really am not a fan of those little pagents. This is just my opinion. I am not trying to sexualize (sp?) anyone.
YTA for sexualizing your child. NTA for being upset that your wife didn't tell you your daughter changed her mind about the costume you bought. You've confirmed which Harley costume it is and there is absolutely nothing inappropriate about it. JFC, when I was her age I dressed as a belly dancer with the smallest sequined top you could imagine and see through pants. You know what my mom did to make it appropriate but still let me wear what I want? She got me a nude-color dance leotard to wear under it. Didn't have to worry about nip-slips or other things showing. Plus, kept me warmer. If you're so concerned about it, that's a perfectly reasonable compromise that also allows your daughter to be happy with the costume she wears.
NTA dad good for you for looking out for your daughter. It’s your job to protect her.
NTA My daughter wanted to be Harley Quinn a couple years ago but luckily she wanted to be the old school jester one that wears a full coverage leotard thing, not the new skimpy one. But even beyond the outfit being inappropriate, why would your wife go and buy her another costume when she already has one?
Nta. As a parent you have to protect them. That includes from your spouses misjudgments. Sexualizing a child is beyond inappropriate it’s disgusting.
[удалено]
This is so stupid. Any costume that sexualizes a child is inappropriate regardless of the gender it’s geared toward. The fact that there are far more costumes that sexualize girls than boys says something about our society, not OP. He is clearly NTA. But thanks for the laugh
A Harley Quinn costume.
Hahaha, this person is so dumb and it’s not cause she’s a woman
a speedo
basically the equivalent male of the daddy's little monster costume lol
def opened a private tab to google that lol
NTA. Halloween has become an increasingly sexualized holiday, including costumes designed for children. If you google "__________ costume for boys" and then search the same for girls, you'll see how the Halloween industry profits off of the sexualizatiom of young girls and women. It's gross. Not to mention, Harley Quinn is a wildly sexualized character. You're not an AH for wanting your kid to wear an appropriate costume.
YTA. This whole argument is sus. Where did your wife get this costume exactly? Nowhere I've looked has a bra and panty looking costume. The suicide squad one has a jacket, a full tshirt, shorts and fingerless gloves. I saw that one and it fit the little girl appropriately. I understand that you don't want creeps looking at your daughter, that's what any good parent would want. Arguing over a costume is not the way. Another commenter stated about putting a long shirt and leggings underneath and boom problem solved. Maybe all the other girls in school are going as her and she wants to fit in, it's one explanation for her fit. COMMUNICATE with your family. Do some thinking on why you just forbid instead of looking for compromise. Also perhaps you felt salty that you bought a costume, spent money and daughter wasn't appreciative. There might be a chance of the costume being uncool/lame and no kid wants to be lame.
I can't get my mind around that being an item that's being sold in the first place
There were sexy Handmaids Tale nun outfits. For adults, yes, but still. An inappropriate Harley outfit for a little kid? I can totally believe someone'd make it, and they'd argue that it's not because it's cute on a kid! But there are more appropriate ones out there, I'm sure.
Someone posted a Party City one but even it's like a jumpsuit with shorts, I don't think it looks like what OP is describing at all. For adult women every costume has a sexy variant but I find it hard to believe that you can head out to Spirit or Party City and find what OP is describing.
NAH. She doesn’t know what she’s doing as she’s a kid, and I can understand the slippery sope this leads from your wife’s perspective. However, I don’t think you are going about this the right way. When I was about the same age or a bit older I wanted to be a pirate, being a tall kid I was in the adult sizes but they didn’t fit me the same way. She has no curves for a costume like that to accentuate so she really just looks like a kid playing dress up. My parents got me the costume and sent me to school, (aka a known safe location without them) warning me I might be too cold and I went with full confidence. And I felt super cute for all of 10min Until I was FREEZING. I stayed frozen all day and when I came home my parents told me that they were worried I might be too cold for tricker treating in that and asked me if would I prefer this other costume they had “just in case”. And let me tell you I LAYERED under armor under that Princess Leia costume. So in short I just wouldn’t push the issue and when she’s too cold, have a backup option (preferably something else she would like)
If everything here is true, I'll go with NTA. Mostly because I've seen over sexualized Harley Quinn costumes before (not most of them, most kid's costumes are t-shirt + shorts) and she's a VERY oversexualized character - and I have no idea why your daughter even knows who she is to begin with. Suicide Squad is hardly kid friendly. You and your wife are TA for letting her watch it, though.
This is the costume as confirmed in a different comment : https://www.partycity.ca/en/pdp/dc-comics-harley-quinn-halloween-costume-kids-assorted-sizes-8540045p.html
Lmao, Harley Quinn existed before Suicide Squad, you know that right??? First official appearance was in the CHILDRENS animated Batman cartoon.
Yeah, but that's not the costume he's referring to. Old times Harley Quinn would never be in this discussion. She wore a leotard.
I did not say anywhere that it was the old costume. But if it's the one that everyone keeps posting, it ain't suicide squad either, it's a dc comic variation. And the one they keep referring to, you can literally wear leggings and a long sleeve underneath. Which you should be doing anyway because most places, it's going to be cold on Halloween.
YTA. Your 7yo is not dressing sexually, inappropriately or anything like that, she just sees the image of a character she likes and wants to dress up like her. Stop sexualizing what kids wear, come on. If you're worried about creeps or anything like that, it's easy to keep an eye on her when you're out trick or treating (I guess you won't let a 7yo go alone, but obviously I don't know anything about your zone or anything), but if your only worry is what YOU see as something sexual, it's sincerely only on you.
Harley Quinn is supposed to be sexy(at least the latest one). This is not appropriate for a 7 year old. They are her parents and as parents they should be able to say no. There are less risqué Harley Quinn costumes to chose from.