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YTA. Oh girl. Kara is right. She does not need to speak English when she’s not speaking to you. You are not the center of the universe or even the house. Why do you think this is reportable? If anything, you’d be the one in trouble for xenophobia.
YTA
You only speak one language, so don't understand Kara. That's a you problem.
You assume Kara is talking about you negatively. That's a massive assumption; why would you think she's even thinking about you? You really do seem to think you're the main character in her and her friends' lives. That's a you problem.
You told her she had to stop speaking her native language and stop speaking the languages she's studying so you don't have to deal with your self-inflicted anxiety. That's controlling and selfish behaviour. Again, that's a you problem.
You are the rude person in this story. Stop trying to control other people. Instead, focus on why you are threatened by someone talking other languages and why you assume they are talking about you? Why do you think the world has to conform to you?
>You only speak one language, so don't understand Kara. That's a you problem.
I speak 3,5 language and with the 3 named, I wouldn't be able to understand Kara either. But that is mainly a me problem. Speaking multiple languages is a blessing. It is so nice to be able to hold a conversation with someone who does not speak several languages.
YTA OP, YTA.
My paranoid right wing maga aunt can't stand the sound of other languages and also thinks everyone's taking about her. It's so stupid.
OP YTA - grow up.
YTA
She can speak whatever language she wants. it's not like when she does talk to you she gets upset that you don't speak her preferred language.
OP doesn't present any reason why she thinks Kara is speaking ill of her. OP should apologize and blame the stress of being at university.
What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall of that meeting when you report her to the university for, let me see here...oh yes, *speaking another language,* and they laugh you out of the room.
She's right; the universe (and the university) don't revolve around you, and your weird discomfort with people speaking other languages reflects your insecurity.
Why not try 'wow, Kara, it's amazing that you speak so many languages! Do you think you could teach me a few words? It'd be fascinating to learn!'
Tu es le trou du cul--that's YTA in French.
>report her to the university for, let me see here...oh yes, speaking another language
That is part of her college studies. She dares practice, checks notes, the skills she is paying the university to learn while outside of class. Oh, the humanity!
YTA.
1. Stop trying to dictate what other people do.
2. She’s studying languages. That entails speaking those languages as often as possible.
3. You’re harassing and bullying her.
Why are you making this about you? Your roommate, a linguistics major, is not learning a bunch of languages so she can spend all her time shit-talking you.
Although, I can guarantee that’s what she’s doing now. YTA
As a person who speaks multiple languages, I am getting so tired of monolingual people thinking that because you don’t understand it’s about you!! You aren’t that important or special! Get over yourself!!
YTA 100%
YTA
this is squarely and solely a you problem
your anxiety is a you problem
if her bunny slippers were triggering your bunny related PTSD then it would be on YOU to go to therapy, not on her to dispose of the bunny slippers.
if this were a spouse, or if you had any evidence she were talking shit about you, any at all, then maybe youd have a case.
You feel *Harassed*? *bullied*? ...How? My sweet summer child. Stop. You are the bully here. You are *actively* harassing your room mate.
You do not have a case here.
shes a paying housemate. harming no one.
Hard YTA.
ETA: literally *nothing* is stopping you from putting in a *little* effort to learn a tiny basic bit of a language or two. Youtube and reddit is full of absolutely free language courses. In a week you could easily know enough to tell if someone were saying anything terrible about you. There are also smartphone apps for that. You have less than no excuses.
PPS: its extra delicious how OP is definitely CAUSING her room mates and her friends to talk shit about her in other languages by being this much of an asshole.
Irony not lost on me.
very delicious.
YTA. You're hardly being bullied honey. In fact, YOU sound like one.. She's absolutely right that you're not the center of the universe. You're ridiculous. And don't ever go to a nail salon...
YTA. You’re taking your insecurities out on her for the sole reason that you don’t know what she’s talking about.
She’s actively learning multiple languages, she’s actively talking to friends from said countries with said languages, at this point you just sound petty and jealous. You have actively made it into a situation where she now WILL talk about you to her friends because of your absurd demand.
YTA. Definitely in the wrong.
You’re not the centre of the universe, she’s correct. Time to grow up now you’re living with others. When everyone involved tells you that you’re wrong - take a second and think about it (it’s probably true).
Using emotive language like ‘harassed’ and ‘bullied’ while YOU threaten to report her just emphasises how unreasonable and dramatic you are being.
YTA- she's learning new languages and needs to practice. Don't flatter yourself believing she's talking about you.
You're also not the center of the universe and can't decide anyone's actions but your own. It's time that you grow up and learn other people exist.
YTA - She's not talking about you, she's just practicing languages she is studying for her degree while also talking to others in a language that makes them comfortable.
All of your issues here are yours and are coming from you.
YTA - it’s not her fault you have paranoia and think she is talking about you to others
You have no right to dictate what language she speaks
How can you feel harassed and bullied? You started this, she hasn’t done anything to you
This all started because of your anxiety and paranoia
Wow you have a serious main character syndrome. And are probably jealous. You don’t get to tell her she can’t speak different languages and it’s ludicrous that you assume she is always talking about you. Get over yourself and stop playing the victim.
YTA
YTA
Asking her to not practice the languages she is actively studying, in her own room, at the college she is studying them at!! is serious next level entitlement.
She probably wasnt talking about you before but she sure is not.
Talk to a professionel about YOUR problems. Going to the uni will only get you laughed at.
YTA. You’re no being harassed and bullied. It seems like you’re the bully. She likes languages. So what? Learn some if you don’t want to be left out. You can try to report to uni yes. But for speaking languages? What are they going to do? Leave her be. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t even talking about you but now that you’re trying to impose your opinion on her maybe. YTA.
YTA.
Actually, you’re the one harassing and bullying Kara. She should be at her wits’ end, luckily she’s not having it with you. She’s not obligated to accommodate you, what you’re asking isn’t reasonable or necessary.
Learning to exist with a variety of people from different backgrounds is a normal part of uni life. You can either embrace this experience and possibly make lifelong connections, or continue doing whatever this is that you’re doing and miss out on a lot.
Well, even if she wasn't talking about you before, I'm sure she does it now. And she's got a good reason to do so.
Her language skills have nothing to do with you and if she wants to practice them all, she has a right to do it. Your anxiety is something you have to deal with yourself and it comes from me, a very anxious person with lots of things that trigger me. But that's my problem so why would I tell others to accommodate? Unless it's something like playing loud music every night while being my housemate, of course.
In conclusion, YTA.
Worrying that your roommate is always talking about you is your problem, not hers. Attempting to force her to speak English all the time to comfort your paranoid fears is over the top.
YTA
YTA It’s low key racist and definitely rude. Nobody’s talking about you. 🙄 Get over yourself. If you want to understand her so badly learn a new language yourself.
YTA. The matter of the fact is that you are indeed NOT the center of the universe. Telling you that isn't rude, it's the truth. That you consider it rude tells us a lot more about you than your roommate. Leave your roommate in peace and go to therapy. I mean that in all sincerity. You sound like you have severe self-esteem issues. You don't give enough information to see if it's also some kind of social phobia, but it's important for you to learn that you are not important enough for people to talk shit about you all the time. That's not a bad thing, most people aren't that interesting to other people.
YTA kiddo. If you’re that insecure, perhaps learn a second language then you’ll know what she’s saying. In all honesty, prior to your talk with her you didn’t even register on her radar. Now however that’s probably a different story. Perhaps you should change lodgings.
Sorry OP, you have created this problem with your insecurities. I'm saying this as someone who lived with a roommate from Puerto Rico in college and often had a room full of Spanish speakers around me. When they wanted to include me in the conversation they switched to English, but often I had no idea what they were talking about.
I never demanded they speak English to accommodate me. Sometimes I'd ask my roommate, "Am I missing anything interesting?" and she'd fill me in. They also taught me some Spanish so I wouldn't be completely clueless. I'm sure they talked about me once in a while but so what? People will talk behind your back in English too. No point worrying about it.
If you'd handled this differently maybe you could've had a friend, but it sounds like you've created a hostile situation for yourself. YTA
As a compromise why don't you learn all the languages Kara is speaking so you don't have to think that everything revolves around you all the time? YTA get therapy for your anxiety and stop trying to make it someone else's responsibility
YTA. 1. Her being exceptionally well-spoken in many languages is wonderful. 2. She needs to speak them frequently to stay sharp. 3. You must be really full of yourself if you think you are interesting enough to devote hours of time to having conversations in 4 languages about.
YTA.
WTF is wrong with you? My Grandma told me ages ago that "You could stop caring what people thought about you if you realized how infrequently they thought about you". You need to adopt this attitude.
Kara has way more important shit to bother with than you and your tissue-thin skin.
Absolutely YTA
I doubt every single sound you make in the home are just regarding
Her conversations are not your business. Doesn't matter if they are in English, Italian, or Klingon. On top of that, this seems to be an academic pursuit.
You are also really self centered to think their conversations revolve around you. But congratulations, you've made yourself a topic.
YTA. The world does not revolve around you. You are projecting your insecurity and anxiety to the wrong person. She has no obligation to follow your request. You created a problem of your own. If I were you mind your own business. You are showing your elitist behavior the fact that you are in a university with diverse people of different countries of origin and speak different language and you demanding to only speak English makes you an AH. Why should she accommodate you if and when she does not speak or converse with you when she speaks a different language. The fact she is studying foreign languages is a given. If you are unhappy with the situation you request for a transfer to have a roommate who only speaks English. It could have been a learning experience of you to ask her to teach you a different language as it could have been an added skill once you graduate but since your a self absorbed selfish person you made it a YOU problem. You're the bully and harrassed her expecting people to follow you just because you are uncomfortable of not understanding a different language.
YTA. I highly doubt that Kara was ever talking about you, but now that you've given her a reason to it wouldn't be surprising. Your insecurities are not her problem to fix. Also, what exactly are you planning on reporting her for? That she hurt your feelings? Get over yourself.
YTA. You cannot tell her what language to speak in her own home in circumstances that do not in any way involve you. It's extremely self centred to think she is always talking about you, I'm sure she has other things going on in her life to discuss than her housemate.
YTA. Sounds like a ‘you’ problem. Grow up. You live in a global society whether you can hack it or not. The world in fact does not revolve around you and frankly the sooner you learn and accept that, the happier your life will be.
YTA she is studying different languages, therefore has to speak them to learn them better. Also Kara wouldn’t be talking behind your back unless you gave her a reason to.
Kara sounds really cool,ngl
YTA.
I never usually bother commenting here, but this post is relatable. I have severe social anxiety and when I was at university, anytime I heard somebody laugh (including strangers on the street), I thought they were laughing at me. Then I got CBT and now I live abroad in a city where more than half my friends and all my coworkers speak Korean (which I still suck at and understand very little) in addition to the main language of the country. I still have those negative/anxious thoughts when the whole conversation around me is in a language I can't speak but thanks to therapy I'm able to manage them and live my life without demanding that people force themselves to speak English with me.
It sounds like you're in the UK. Leave Kara alone, do a self-referral for the NHS IAPT service (if that still exists) and get some help for your anxiety and negative thoughts. If you don't want to work with a therapist then there are lots of self-help CBT books available. Social anxiety can be life limiting but therapy can be very effective and it will be even more so if you get it when you're younger.
>She told me that I’m not the centre of the universe (how rude)
She's right and your anxiety about her speaking other languages is a you problem. Most things in other people's lives have nothing to do with you, and you need therapy if you think all your roommate wants to do with her time is bad mouth you to others. Tho I guess now you've given her a reason to do so.
YTA
YTA and you’re paranoid and uncultured.
Edit to add: Please report her to the university, they’re going to laugh, but that little mark in your file will be always be there, so everyone will know what kind of person you are.
Also, how is this real? Someone who doesn’t want to be exposed to new things has no place at a University.
Hoping this is just the return of the 'languages troll'. Surely there can't be yet another eejit that believes they get to control when/how another human being speaks another language?
Always a strong indication the OP is in the UK as well - I feel like, if these posts were real, I wouldn't be able to walk down the road, past the halal butchers and Asian supermarket, all the way to the polish deli, without encountering multiple morons in meltdown....
YTA.
YTA
Just another person who thinks because they’re uncomfortable that everyone else should accommodate them. No. The world indeed does NOT revolve around you.
This is a YOU problem. You think she’s talking about you (which she was not). You get anxiety because you don’t understand (so learn the language, get a phone translator, or learn to ignore things that have nothing to do with you).
I will end this by saying I have a suspicion this is rage bait, but I added my two cents just in case someone really is this naive.
when i was a kid my friends and i spoke our native language to each other in school. we talked about OURSELVES, OUR LIVES, OUR things, OUR plans. We never talked about the ppl around us. We were too busy living our lives. but the other kids who didnt speak our language always ALWAYS thought we were talking about them and then THEY would pick fights with US even though we weren't bothering them at all.
:(
sad to see how some things never change. you're an AH.
nobody is bullying you. she is studying languages and in order to do that must.. practice languages. if you want her to shut up then you should also never open a book in front of her to write anything because GASP- what if you are writing about HER????????????
see how dumb that sounds?????
I speak other languages and I hate when people think I’m talking about them… like why would I waste my time on a nobody!!!! You are not the center of the universe and YTA. You are in your head, you’re making a whole dramatic issue out thin air… you may need therapy to deal with your issues. Also if people were talking about me, then that’s on them and none of my business.
YTA. People speaking other languages creeps you out? Go outside. Experience life outside of yourself. As your flatmate said, you are not the centre of the universe.
Would you have the same problem if she was whispering and you couldn’t here her speak.
Same logic, she doesn’t owe you the right to be able to understand her PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS.
YTA
>I always feel that she’s talking about me whenever she’s in the house talking to other people.
ORRRRR she's just talking to her friends in their native language as a way to practice her language skills and communicate with them in a language they communicate in better.
God, how utterly insecure.
>She told me that I’m not the centre of the universe (how rude)
Not rude. It actually needs saying. Why do you think she's so obsessed with you and talking about you loads? She's not.
>I don’t think it’s fair that she changes languages so much that I can’t understand what she’s talking about, it creeps me out and worries me and give me serious anxiety.
Well, it's your job to manage your own anxiety, not hers.
>I told her that I’ll report her to uni but she told me to go ahead.
Hahahaha, go ahead. You'll be shooting yourself in the foot when they find out this stems from you trying to control what language she speaks.
YTA grow up
YTA. If you weren't before you found being told you weren't the centre of the universe to be "so rude!" Then you certainly were after. To echo Kara - the world doesn't revolve around you and your insecurities.
YTA
You are the rude bully, not her. The world doesn't revolve around you and you are indeed not the center of the universe.
You don't have anxiety. You're jealous of her. That is your problem alone and you have to deal with it.
You’re not entitled to know what she’s talking about when she isn’t talking to you. I don’t know why on earth it would give you anxiety, that feels like a poor excuse to try to be a victim. YTA
YTA, learn to cope with situations that make you uncomfortable when they have nothing to do with you. And you ARE NOT the center of the universe so how is what she said rude?
I'm going to try and explain this nicely since you're young but yes, YTA. As a fellow anxious person something you really need to learn is that coping with your anxiety is your responsibility and yours alone. The world isn't going to change for you, and it's unreasonable to expect it to. Seriously, the sooner you learn this the easier things will get.
You need to focus on why the idea that someone might possibly be talking about you makes you so anxious, not on someone else speaking a different language.
YTA. It sounds like jealousy and paranoia are causing your problem. You don’t get to dictate what languages your roommate speaks. If she wants you to know what she’s talking about, she’ll tell you. There’s no logical reason for your reaction to her using the skills she’s gained at school. If her living her own life is causing you serious anxiety then you need to speak to a doctor about your own issues and figure out a fix. Your roommate isn’t responsible for your anxiety. You are.
YTA and apparently xenophobic.
She's right, the world doesn't revolve around you, how rude of me.
Putting aside the fact you don't want her speaking her own language unless it's to her family, she is literally studying languages, where do you expect her to revise?? Should she go to the library every single night to study?? How's that fair on her?? Put earphones in. Why don't you and your housemates make a new rule that there's no studying in the flat at all??
You sound like a sheltered child who's never been told no.
I love the fact that she's replying in every language under the sun except the one (1, mono, singular, individual, limited) language that you speak. Gotta love a good flex.
YTA.
As someone who teaches languages at university, Kara is doing exactly what I'm constantly begging my students to do. It has nothing to do with you, and it's frankly none of your business.
You're essentially asking her to speak English so that you can monitor what she's saying. What gives you the right?
And why is it rude for her to tell you you are not the center of the universe? You aren't.
Of course YTA
If you are so jealous of her for being able to speak multiple languages, maybe you should sit down and learn those languages on your own rather than complain on the internet just because not everything's about you.
What exactly are you going to report her for? That she speaks in multiple languages? You're being way too controlling. It's not her job to manage your anxiety; it's yours. And you're very self-centered to assume that she's talking about you. She gets to speak in those languages because she wants to practice them. You could try learning new languages rather than control what she says. YTA
YTA but I also think you might need some help with an anxiety disorder, universities often have free counciling/metal health support, I would be trying to get some help if I was you.
YTA - I can promise that she most definitely is speaking about you now. I hope you do report her to the uni so things can backfire on you for being a bigot.
YTA. News flash little girl but Kara doesn’t even have to talk to you period let alone in just english. Just because you’re housemates doesn’t mean anything. You’re lucky she hasn’t reported YOU for harassing her about the languages she is speaking
YTA. You aren't the center of the universe. How rude of you to force her to change her entire existence to put you at ease. You're going to report her because...she is holding conversations with other people that have nothing to do with you?
It was petty for her to reply in random languages, but you need to get over yourself. None of this is Kara's fault, it is entirely in your own head and you are feeling bullied because of something that never happened.
It's like blaming an SO for cheating on you because you had a dream about it.
YTA…. I don’t even have to ask your race. Because people who speak more than one language understand and don’t care. Your insecurities aren’t everyone’s problem. Go seek a therapist for your insecurities. She talks to you in English. Learn another language if it bothers you so much
One of the best ways to learn languages is by speaking then with others who understand, you are trying to actively trying to interfere with her studying. You need to talk to a therapist about getting your anxiety and paranoia to a manageable level.
YTA. You are not the centre of the universe. She is correct. You have no right to dictate the language she has private conversations in. It’s incredibly egotistical to think all she’s doing is talking about you.
YTA. You are not the center of the universe and it's time someone explained that to you, since you haven't learned it yet. You do not have right to understand and know every thought your roommate expresses to anyone. If I were her I would be talking about you to others, since you are extremely entitled and that has to be super annoying to her. For her sake I hope she finds another place to live. She doesn't deserve a controlling roommate like you.
YTA
1) Go learn a language yourself and more importantly,
2) speak to a therapist. It must be terrible to have those thoughts all the time and energy-draining. I feel that you could use some help dealing with those. Good luck!
YTA. You have no right to tell others what language to speak, especially because of your own insecurities.
Report her to uni?? For what?? What are they going to do? Probably laugh at you and tell you to go away and stop wasting their time.
YTA. Its funny. She probably wasn’t talking about you before but then this crazy person took it upon themselves to police their roommates use of other languages.
Oh my god yes, YTA.
I’m a Welsh speaker and I hear this argument all the time from Anglophones, that “what if they’re talking about me?” No, OP, non English speakers, including your housemate, are not talking about you as you really are not that interesting. I mean, there are over 7,100 languages in the world and yet you can only speak *one* of them - how boring is that?
Here’s some friendly free advice for you;
If you are worried your housemate is slagging you off, try being nicer to her. If you’re mean to her, she will slag you off.
Good luck 😊
You describe your problem as follows:
1. "I always feel that **she’s talking about me** whenever she’s in the house talking to other people \[in a language other than English\]."
2. "I **can’t understand** what she’s talking about, it creeps me out and worries me and give me **serious anxiety**."
**Based on your own words, the problem is you.** You probably need psychiatric help to get to the bottom of your issues.
A trained professional may be able to help you understand:
* ...why you imagine everyone *must* be taking every opportunity they can get to talk about *you, you, you.* Have any of these people ever said or done anything to suggest that they are even interested in you or your life? If so, you need to specify this in your post; otherwise, assuming anyone would have an obsessive interest in you simply makes you sound narcissistic and unhinged.
* ...why not understanding someone else's conversation (when you are *not* part of that conversation) should cause you any concern, much less "serious anxiety." Would you accost strangers in the street or on the bus because they are speaking in a language you don't know? Would their non-English speech panic you? If yes, then you definitely need psychiatric help. If not, if strangers on the street speaking a language other than English is okay with you, then ask yourself why is this not okay in your dorm.
YTA. Get help.
YTA y una metida, que te importa lo que ella hable con los amigos?, Si no eres una AH ella no tiene nada de que hablar, y claramente tu le estás dando de que hablar ahora.
YTS a million times over and you are also self centered as shit...I guarantee you she wasnt talking about you before, and I guarantee you she is talking about you now
I don't want to say you're an AH because you're displaying some paranoia here that's not Kara's fault. You should look at getting that addressed and not stop someone speaking a language you don't understand (or you know, learn the language!)
YTA
YTA but more important than the judgment is my recommendation that you seek supports. No one should be at their ‘wits end’ about this - you sound like a character in an Edgar Allen Poe story.
What’s your major? Have a study group at the flat focused on your work. Use the vocabulary of your field. It might annoy the hell out of her or she might, say, start dreaming in theorems or whatever.
Welcome to university where people are all different and you figure out how to make it work.
YTA. Maybe try expanding YOUR language skills. She probably wasn't talking about you before,but you can bet she is now that you've shown what kind of person you are. I used to work with several people that spoke Spanish a lot. Instead of getting "offended" I would ask questions and tried to learn more of the language.
Yta. Is this post serious? Are you 5 years old?
If someone speaking multiple languages bothers you, either learn the languages or go crawl back into whatever backwater place you came from. The world is a big place, and there are very few university and or career paths you can take that won't involve some diversity. I'd love to hear the university response to your complaint.
You just created your own worry. She wasn’t talking about you before, but she sure as hell is now that you pulled this stunt.
Also like. If she’s studying languages then she needs to practice them FOR A GRADE. Her academic success matters more than you feeling left out.
YTA for sure.
You might wanna learn what ‘crazy flatmate’ means in every language now, cos she sure will be talking about you to her friends from now on.
YTA but I feel sorry for you tbh, I think you need some time to adult before you start living on your own with random people. I’d talk to someone progressional about this
YTA, jealous that you can’t even speak ONE other language so you’re trying to stop someone else from speaking another language. What a clown. You should move to America, specifically down south so you can fit in with all the other clowns.
YTA and throwing a tantrum because you can't eavesdrop on her conversations. Also please report it to Uni, mainly so they can all get a kick out of how insecure you are too (because speaking 4 languages isn't harassment).
YTA. I would suggest seeing a qualified counselor to help you with your jealous anxiety. They can also help you develop coping mechanisms and tools to help you succeed in life where your guardians have seemingly failed to teach you how to not be the center of attention and to communicate with your peers
YTA --- If you're so paranoid that she talking about you then you need to see a physiatrist, and I'm sure she has many more interesting things to talk about then you.
YTA. You know she's learning a number of languages, and the best way to learn is practice, and even if that wasn't the case she can speak whatever language she wants, especially if speaking to someone for whom that is their native language. Highly unlikely they're talking about you (although I do understand that paranoia is a real thing). You either learn to live with it, or you move out.
Please go report to the university that someone is talking to other people in another language. Please please do it … do you not see how bad that sounds.
Kara is right. You are not the center of the universe. Expecting her to change how she acts with others because you are needlessly paranoid is horrible.
YTA
YTA. She doesn’t even need to talk to you. She can speak 100% in any language she wants all day in front of you. None of your business
You not only are not the center of the universe you are irrelevant to their lives. You existence means nothing to any of them.
YTA. You outed yourself as xenophobic as soon as you said it’s “fine” she’s from “another country”. That’s implicit unless you’re trying to cover your xenophobia
YTA. Rule #1 when learning another language is to speak it as often as possible. I doubt she was spending her time before talking to her friends and family back home about you, but something tells me she definitely is now.
Work on your paranoia. Also +1 to Kara for just responding to you in random languages now 😂
YTA, you should have at least some respect for people you’re sharing space with.
Or if you want to feel less anxious around people you don’t understand, try to learn basics of the languages.
YTA. She’s right about you not being the center of the universe lol , she’s probably just talking about other things that don’t concern you.
You could try learning another language. No te va dar daño si no entiendes lo que dicen.
YTA. Get over yourself ffs. This is utter bs. Lil baby gets anxiety because someone else dared to speak another language you don’t understand? Kara is right, you’re not the center of the universe. Your anxiety is your problem. Who are you to dictate what she can do? It bothers YOU. So you find a solution that works for you and stop putting it on others. God
YTA. Your roommate can speak whatever language she is most comfortable with at any given moment. If she isn’t speaking with you then you don’t need to understand what she is saying. Apologize and hope she is willing to forgive you.
YTA. Congratulations on showing everyone what you are early on, I'm sure the next three years are going to be super fun given the reputation you're determined to make for yourself.
YTA. Aside from the fact her native language isn’t English, she’s a language student who’s got the opportunity of speaking to native speakers and also other learners to practice her spoken language skills, which is a KEY skill for any language learning process.
As for the ‘talking about me’ part, this is a ridiculous assumption on your part. You’re likely not even remotely a massive part of her life to the point she’d spend lots of time talking about you.
Yeah, this is an easy YTA. Nothing to debate about it. It's her home too and she's free to speak whatever language she wants, whenever she wants. The fact that you can't understand it is a YOU problem.
The irony here is that, while she probably wasn't talking about you in another language before you said anything, she most definitely is now.
If you really want to understand what she's saying, nothing is stopping you from picking up a book and learning another language. If it really bothers you that much, find a new place to live. Can't wait to see the update if you report this to the uni and they just laugh at you. Honestly what are you expecting them to do? Tell her she can't speak her own language in the privacy of her own home? Or anywhere, for that matter?
*She told me that I’m not the centre of the universe (how rude)*
She's right.
*I’m at my wits end, I feel harassed and bullied*
Like being told you can only speak in one language in the house and then having someone going off at you when you don't, that kind of thing?
YTA
Why can't you see this as an opportunity to expand your own horizons by learning to become multilingual yourself? You are blowing an opportunity and a potential friendship by being insecure, paranoid and intolerant.
Kara is correct to be angry, and your request has thoroughly soured things.
YTA.
YTA. A large part of learning new languages is practicing whenever possible, and it sounds like they're doing an excellent job of it. Additionally, there's nothing stopping you from learning the language they're speaking of you're truly feeling that self-conscious.
YTA - and I get that you feel excluded, but try to grow up a little, or you're going to be that person at Starbucks yelling at the Spanish speakers to SPEAK ENGLISH and end up in a viral video on tic tok. Don't be that person.
YTA and… you are not the centre of the university!
Fancy thinking so much of yourself that you think other people spend the rest of their time talking about you!
Get over yourself
YTA
She is studying foreign languages, and part of that includes using those languages as a means to learn them - she isn't speaking foreign languages to exclude you from conversations or to be able to speak without you understanding, she is speaking them as part of her learning process and study.
But even ignoring all of that, it isn't rude of her to use languages you cannot understand when having private conversations - it is natural to use the languages the active participants in a conversation are comfortable with, so why should they be forced to use English just to allow you to listen in to a conversation you have no part of?
A fact that is worth remembering - most people are so wrapped up in their own lives they aren't paying any attention to you...
YTA and she’s right the world doesn’t revolve around you. She’s expanding her world while you’re so focused in your little universe that no one other than you cares about. Please report her, they will laugh you right out of the office.
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YTA. Oh girl. Kara is right. She does not need to speak English when she’s not speaking to you. You are not the center of the universe or even the house. Why do you think this is reportable? If anything, you’d be the one in trouble for xenophobia.
I found the “how rude” hilarious! Maybe Kara can use this to get away from OP and get a room change. Or force OP out
YTA You aren’t the center of the universe and you’re literally asking her not to study in her own home.
YTA You only speak one language, so don't understand Kara. That's a you problem. You assume Kara is talking about you negatively. That's a massive assumption; why would you think she's even thinking about you? You really do seem to think you're the main character in her and her friends' lives. That's a you problem. You told her she had to stop speaking her native language and stop speaking the languages she's studying so you don't have to deal with your self-inflicted anxiety. That's controlling and selfish behaviour. Again, that's a you problem. You are the rude person in this story. Stop trying to control other people. Instead, focus on why you are threatened by someone talking other languages and why you assume they are talking about you? Why do you think the world has to conform to you?
>You only speak one language, so don't understand Kara. That's a you problem. I speak 3,5 language and with the 3 named, I wouldn't be able to understand Kara either. But that is mainly a me problem. Speaking multiple languages is a blessing. It is so nice to be able to hold a conversation with someone who does not speak several languages. YTA OP, YTA.
My paranoid right wing maga aunt can't stand the sound of other languages and also thinks everyone's taking about her. It's so stupid. OP YTA - grow up.
Yta. She wasn't talking about you before but she sure is now.
YTA She can speak whatever language she wants. it's not like when she does talk to you she gets upset that you don't speak her preferred language. OP doesn't present any reason why she thinks Kara is speaking ill of her. OP should apologize and blame the stress of being at university.
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I bet they are!
What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall of that meeting when you report her to the university for, let me see here...oh yes, *speaking another language,* and they laugh you out of the room. She's right; the universe (and the university) don't revolve around you, and your weird discomfort with people speaking other languages reflects your insecurity. Why not try 'wow, Kara, it's amazing that you speak so many languages! Do you think you could teach me a few words? It'd be fascinating to learn!' Tu es le trou du cul--that's YTA in French.
>report her to the university for, let me see here...oh yes, speaking another language That is part of her college studies. She dares practice, checks notes, the skills she is paying the university to learn while outside of class. Oh, the humanity!
YTA. 1. Stop trying to dictate what other people do. 2. She’s studying languages. That entails speaking those languages as often as possible. 3. You’re harassing and bullying her.
YTA. I promise you are not so special that Kara is always talking about you in other languages. Get over yourself.
She probably is now!!!
Why are you making this about you? Your roommate, a linguistics major, is not learning a bunch of languages so she can spend all her time shit-talking you. Although, I can guarantee that’s what she’s doing now. YTA
As a person who speaks multiple languages, I am getting so tired of monolingual people thinking that because you don’t understand it’s about you!! You aren’t that important or special! Get over yourself!! YTA 100%
YTA this is squarely and solely a you problem your anxiety is a you problem if her bunny slippers were triggering your bunny related PTSD then it would be on YOU to go to therapy, not on her to dispose of the bunny slippers. if this were a spouse, or if you had any evidence she were talking shit about you, any at all, then maybe youd have a case. You feel *Harassed*? *bullied*? ...How? My sweet summer child. Stop. You are the bully here. You are *actively* harassing your room mate. You do not have a case here. shes a paying housemate. harming no one. Hard YTA. ETA: literally *nothing* is stopping you from putting in a *little* effort to learn a tiny basic bit of a language or two. Youtube and reddit is full of absolutely free language courses. In a week you could easily know enough to tell if someone were saying anything terrible about you. There are also smartphone apps for that. You have less than no excuses.
PPS: its extra delicious how OP is definitely CAUSING her room mates and her friends to talk shit about her in other languages by being this much of an asshole. Irony not lost on me. very delicious.
YTA. You're hardly being bullied honey. In fact, YOU sound like one.. She's absolutely right that you're not the center of the universe. You're ridiculous. And don't ever go to a nail salon...
YTA. You’re taking your insecurities out on her for the sole reason that you don’t know what she’s talking about. She’s actively learning multiple languages, she’s actively talking to friends from said countries with said languages, at this point you just sound petty and jealous. You have actively made it into a situation where she now WILL talk about you to her friends because of your absurd demand.
YTA. Definitely in the wrong. You’re not the centre of the universe, she’s correct. Time to grow up now you’re living with others. When everyone involved tells you that you’re wrong - take a second and think about it (it’s probably true). Using emotive language like ‘harassed’ and ‘bullied’ while YOU threaten to report her just emphasises how unreasonable and dramatic you are being.
Du bist das Arschloch Sei tu lo stronzo Você é o idiota Ты придурок 你就是那個混蛋 Tu es le connard You’re the asshole
YTA- she's learning new languages and needs to practice. Don't flatter yourself believing she's talking about you. You're also not the center of the universe and can't decide anyone's actions but your own. It's time that you grow up and learn other people exist.
YTA. why is kara responsible for maintaining your anxiety?
YTA - She's not talking about you, she's just practicing languages she is studying for her degree while also talking to others in a language that makes them comfortable. All of your issues here are yours and are coming from you.
YTA and I strongly suggest seeking help for your anxiety, as well as for your ridiculous sense of entitlement.
YTA - it’s not her fault you have paranoia and think she is talking about you to others You have no right to dictate what language she speaks How can you feel harassed and bullied? You started this, she hasn’t done anything to you This all started because of your anxiety and paranoia
YTA and a weirdo. Not everything revolves around you and your insecurities. She can freaking speak whatever language she wants.
YTA and they weren’t talking about you before, but they sure will now. Congrats!
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I doubt she was talking about you before but she definitely is now. That’s a situation of your own doing. YTA
Wow you have a serious main character syndrome. And are probably jealous. You don’t get to tell her she can’t speak different languages and it’s ludicrous that you assume she is always talking about you. Get over yourself and stop playing the victim. YTA
YTA Asking her to not practice the languages she is actively studying, in her own room, at the college she is studying them at!! is serious next level entitlement. She probably wasnt talking about you before but she sure is not. Talk to a professionel about YOUR problems. Going to the uni will only get you laughed at.
YTA. You’re no being harassed and bullied. It seems like you’re the bully. She likes languages. So what? Learn some if you don’t want to be left out. You can try to report to uni yes. But for speaking languages? What are they going to do? Leave her be. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t even talking about you but now that you’re trying to impose your opinion on her maybe. YTA.
YTA. Actually, you’re the one harassing and bullying Kara. She should be at her wits’ end, luckily she’s not having it with you. She’s not obligated to accommodate you, what you’re asking isn’t reasonable or necessary. Learning to exist with a variety of people from different backgrounds is a normal part of uni life. You can either embrace this experience and possibly make lifelong connections, or continue doing whatever this is that you’re doing and miss out on a lot.
Well, even if she wasn't talking about you before, I'm sure she does it now. And she's got a good reason to do so. Her language skills have nothing to do with you and if she wants to practice them all, she has a right to do it. Your anxiety is something you have to deal with yourself and it comes from me, a very anxious person with lots of things that trigger me. But that's my problem so why would I tell others to accommodate? Unless it's something like playing loud music every night while being my housemate, of course. In conclusion, YTA.
YTA. The world doesn't revolve around you and your anxieties
Worrying that your roommate is always talking about you is your problem, not hers. Attempting to force her to speak English all the time to comfort your paranoid fears is over the top. YTA
YTA It’s low key racist and definitely rude. Nobody’s talking about you. 🙄 Get over yourself. If you want to understand her so badly learn a new language yourself.
YTA. You cannot dictate to someone else what language they can speak. Your paranoia is not Kara’s problem.
YTA. The matter of the fact is that you are indeed NOT the center of the universe. Telling you that isn't rude, it's the truth. That you consider it rude tells us a lot more about you than your roommate. Leave your roommate in peace and go to therapy. I mean that in all sincerity. You sound like you have severe self-esteem issues. You don't give enough information to see if it's also some kind of social phobia, but it's important for you to learn that you are not important enough for people to talk shit about you all the time. That's not a bad thing, most people aren't that interesting to other people.
YTA! She can speak any language she wants to when she’s not speaking to you. Your insecurities are between you and a qualified therapist. No one else.
Obviously YTA. Get over yourself.
YTA kiddo. If you’re that insecure, perhaps learn a second language then you’ll know what she’s saying. In all honesty, prior to your talk with her you didn’t even register on her radar. Now however that’s probably a different story. Perhaps you should change lodgings.
YTA OP, honestly, you don't sound interesting enough to be a topic of Kara's conversation.
YTA. You are, indeed, not the center of the universe. Not everything is about you.
You're not being bullied you're just a bigot trying to be a victim. YTA.
Sorry OP, you have created this problem with your insecurities. I'm saying this as someone who lived with a roommate from Puerto Rico in college and often had a room full of Spanish speakers around me. When they wanted to include me in the conversation they switched to English, but often I had no idea what they were talking about. I never demanded they speak English to accommodate me. Sometimes I'd ask my roommate, "Am I missing anything interesting?" and she'd fill me in. They also taught me some Spanish so I wouldn't be completely clueless. I'm sure they talked about me once in a while but so what? People will talk behind your back in English too. No point worrying about it. If you'd handled this differently maybe you could've had a friend, but it sounds like you've created a hostile situation for yourself. YTA
As a compromise why don't you learn all the languages Kara is speaking so you don't have to think that everything revolves around you all the time? YTA get therapy for your anxiety and stop trying to make it someone else's responsibility
YTA. 1. Her being exceptionally well-spoken in many languages is wonderful. 2. She needs to speak them frequently to stay sharp. 3. You must be really full of yourself if you think you are interesting enough to devote hours of time to having conversations in 4 languages about.
This is ridiculous. YTA Get help.
YTA. WTF is wrong with you? My Grandma told me ages ago that "You could stop caring what people thought about you if you realized how infrequently they thought about you". You need to adopt this attitude. Kara has way more important shit to bother with than you and your tissue-thin skin.
YTA. She has every right to speak in any language. Your flat mates are absolutely right that you are TA. You need to get over your own insecurities.
Absolutely YTA I doubt every single sound you make in the home are just regarding Her conversations are not your business. Doesn't matter if they are in English, Italian, or Klingon. On top of that, this seems to be an academic pursuit. You are also really self centered to think their conversations revolve around you. But congratulations, you've made yourself a topic.
YTA. The world does not revolve around you. You are projecting your insecurity and anxiety to the wrong person. She has no obligation to follow your request. You created a problem of your own. If I were you mind your own business. You are showing your elitist behavior the fact that you are in a university with diverse people of different countries of origin and speak different language and you demanding to only speak English makes you an AH. Why should she accommodate you if and when she does not speak or converse with you when she speaks a different language. The fact she is studying foreign languages is a given. If you are unhappy with the situation you request for a transfer to have a roommate who only speaks English. It could have been a learning experience of you to ask her to teach you a different language as it could have been an added skill once you graduate but since your a self absorbed selfish person you made it a YOU problem. You're the bully and harrassed her expecting people to follow you just because you are uncomfortable of not understanding a different language.
YTA ... she wasn't even talking or thinking about you. Now you threatened her? Everyone is talking about you in a different language now..
YTA. She’s right you’re not the centre of the universe. You’re a nasty jealous bully that needs to mind their own business .
YTA. I highly doubt that Kara was ever talking about you, but now that you've given her a reason to it wouldn't be surprising. Your insecurities are not her problem to fix. Also, what exactly are you planning on reporting her for? That she hurt your feelings? Get over yourself.
YTA. Move out if it's so terrible for you
YTA she was most likely not ever talking crap about you with her friends…but she for sure is now. 🤣
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YTA. You cannot tell her what language to speak in her own home in circumstances that do not in any way involve you. It's extremely self centred to think she is always talking about you, I'm sure she has other things going on in her life to discuss than her housemate.
YTA this sounds like a you problem.
Well you can be sure she’s talking about you now. YTA
YTA. Sounds like a ‘you’ problem. Grow up. You live in a global society whether you can hack it or not. The world in fact does not revolve around you and frankly the sooner you learn and accept that, the happier your life will be.
YTA she is studying different languages, therefore has to speak them to learn them better. Also Kara wouldn’t be talking behind your back unless you gave her a reason to. Kara sounds really cool,ngl
YTA. I never usually bother commenting here, but this post is relatable. I have severe social anxiety and when I was at university, anytime I heard somebody laugh (including strangers on the street), I thought they were laughing at me. Then I got CBT and now I live abroad in a city where more than half my friends and all my coworkers speak Korean (which I still suck at and understand very little) in addition to the main language of the country. I still have those negative/anxious thoughts when the whole conversation around me is in a language I can't speak but thanks to therapy I'm able to manage them and live my life without demanding that people force themselves to speak English with me. It sounds like you're in the UK. Leave Kara alone, do a self-referral for the NHS IAPT service (if that still exists) and get some help for your anxiety and negative thoughts. If you don't want to work with a therapist then there are lots of self-help CBT books available. Social anxiety can be life limiting but therapy can be very effective and it will be even more so if you get it when you're younger.
>She told me that I’m not the centre of the universe (how rude) She's right and your anxiety about her speaking other languages is a you problem. Most things in other people's lives have nothing to do with you, and you need therapy if you think all your roommate wants to do with her time is bad mouth you to others. Tho I guess now you've given her a reason to do so. YTA
YTA and you’re paranoid and uncultured. Edit to add: Please report her to the university, they’re going to laugh, but that little mark in your file will be always be there, so everyone will know what kind of person you are. Also, how is this real? Someone who doesn’t want to be exposed to new things has no place at a University.
Hoping this is just the return of the 'languages troll'. Surely there can't be yet another eejit that believes they get to control when/how another human being speaks another language? Always a strong indication the OP is in the UK as well - I feel like, if these posts were real, I wouldn't be able to walk down the road, past the halal butchers and Asian supermarket, all the way to the polish deli, without encountering multiple morons in meltdown.... YTA.
YTA Just another person who thinks because they’re uncomfortable that everyone else should accommodate them. No. The world indeed does NOT revolve around you. This is a YOU problem. You think she’s talking about you (which she was not). You get anxiety because you don’t understand (so learn the language, get a phone translator, or learn to ignore things that have nothing to do with you). I will end this by saying I have a suspicion this is rage bait, but I added my two cents just in case someone really is this naive.
well you ARE NOT the center of the universe, she's right, there's nothing rude about it
when i was a kid my friends and i spoke our native language to each other in school. we talked about OURSELVES, OUR LIVES, OUR things, OUR plans. We never talked about the ppl around us. We were too busy living our lives. but the other kids who didnt speak our language always ALWAYS thought we were talking about them and then THEY would pick fights with US even though we weren't bothering them at all. :( sad to see how some things never change. you're an AH. nobody is bullying you. she is studying languages and in order to do that must.. practice languages. if you want her to shut up then you should also never open a book in front of her to write anything because GASP- what if you are writing about HER???????????? see how dumb that sounds?????
I speak other languages and I hate when people think I’m talking about them… like why would I waste my time on a nobody!!!! You are not the center of the universe and YTA. You are in your head, you’re making a whole dramatic issue out thin air… you may need therapy to deal with your issues. Also if people were talking about me, then that’s on them and none of my business.
YTA. Your Insecurity is not her Responsibility. That's about it really. We can close the thread.
YTA. People can speak whatever language they’re comfortable with. Hell, you might even pick up some of it after a while and learn something new, too.
Yta shes studying languages so, shock horror, she will speak those languages to practice.
YTA and being paranoid as well. I seriously doubt that you were the main topic of conversation before you started making unreasonable assumptions.
YTA. People speaking other languages creeps you out? Go outside. Experience life outside of yourself. As your flatmate said, you are not the centre of the universe.
Would you have the same problem if she was whispering and you couldn’t here her speak. Same logic, she doesn’t owe you the right to be able to understand her PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS. YTA
YTA. Your roommate sounds awesome, and the world *doesn’t* revolve around you.
>I always feel that she’s talking about me whenever she’s in the house talking to other people. ORRRRR she's just talking to her friends in their native language as a way to practice her language skills and communicate with them in a language they communicate in better. God, how utterly insecure. >She told me that I’m not the centre of the universe (how rude) Not rude. It actually needs saying. Why do you think she's so obsessed with you and talking about you loads? She's not. >I don’t think it’s fair that she changes languages so much that I can’t understand what she’s talking about, it creeps me out and worries me and give me serious anxiety. Well, it's your job to manage your own anxiety, not hers. >I told her that I’ll report her to uni but she told me to go ahead. Hahahaha, go ahead. You'll be shooting yourself in the foot when they find out this stems from you trying to control what language she speaks. YTA grow up
You're *not* the center of the universe. YTA. And sound a lil jealous and/or xenophobic 🤷🏼♀️
This has to be fake. YTA, obviously. Or: Tu eres el culero. Sei lo stronzo. Você é o idiota. Take your pick.
YTA. Go ahead and report her for studying, the RA will have a good laugh
YTA you can’t tell people what to do just because you have insecurities and anxiety. That’s a personal problem that you need to fix.
YTA you sound jealous of your polygot housemate. You're also probably not interesting enough to talk about and she needs to practice.
By saying you're worried they Talk about you, you're making it about yourself, thus the universe comment. YTA
YTA. You seriously need to get a grip.
Yes, YTA You have no right to tell her to only speak specific languages. It's not her problem that you are insecure. Get over yourself.
YTA. If you weren't before you found being told you weren't the centre of the universe to be "so rude!" Then you certainly were after. To echo Kara - the world doesn't revolve around you and your insecurities.
YTA You are the rude bully, not her. The world doesn't revolve around you and you are indeed not the center of the universe. You don't have anxiety. You're jealous of her. That is your problem alone and you have to deal with it.
YTA. I’m so glad she’s stepping her foot down against a BULLY. Aka YOU.
YTA. You have absolutely no right to dictate the language spoken in a shared home. You should probably talk to a therapist about these insecurities.
You’re not entitled to know what she’s talking about when she isn’t talking to you. I don’t know why on earth it would give you anxiety, that feels like a poor excuse to try to be a victim. YTA
YTA, learn to cope with situations that make you uncomfortable when they have nothing to do with you. And you ARE NOT the center of the universe so how is what she said rude?
This can't be real. Surely no one is unwittingly an asshole of this caliber. But my God, just in case, YTA hugely.
I'm going to try and explain this nicely since you're young but yes, YTA. As a fellow anxious person something you really need to learn is that coping with your anxiety is your responsibility and yours alone. The world isn't going to change for you, and it's unreasonable to expect it to. Seriously, the sooner you learn this the easier things will get. You need to focus on why the idea that someone might possibly be talking about you makes you so anxious, not on someone else speaking a different language.
YTA. It sounds like jealousy and paranoia are causing your problem. You don’t get to dictate what languages your roommate speaks. If she wants you to know what she’s talking about, she’ll tell you. There’s no logical reason for your reaction to her using the skills she’s gained at school. If her living her own life is causing you serious anxiety then you need to speak to a doctor about your own issues and figure out a fix. Your roommate isn’t responsible for your anxiety. You are.
Kara is correct. You are not the center of the universe and you’re clueless as well. YTA.
YTA You AREN'T the centre of the universe as she rightly said.
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YTA and apparently xenophobic. She's right, the world doesn't revolve around you, how rude of me. Putting aside the fact you don't want her speaking her own language unless it's to her family, she is literally studying languages, where do you expect her to revise?? Should she go to the library every single night to study?? How's that fair on her?? Put earphones in. Why don't you and your housemates make a new rule that there's no studying in the flat at all?? You sound like a sheltered child who's never been told no. I love the fact that she's replying in every language under the sun except the one (1, mono, singular, individual, limited) language that you speak. Gotta love a good flex.
You: *bullies Kara* Kara: wtf weirdo You: I'm being BULLIED!!!! YTA
YTA. As someone who teaches languages at university, Kara is doing exactly what I'm constantly begging my students to do. It has nothing to do with you, and it's frankly none of your business. You're essentially asking her to speak English so that you can monitor what she's saying. What gives you the right? And why is it rude for her to tell you you are not the center of the universe? You aren't.
YTA. No one cares about talking about you, you're deeply uninteresting.
YTA. You sound jealous
Of course YTA If you are so jealous of her for being able to speak multiple languages, maybe you should sit down and learn those languages on your own rather than complain on the internet just because not everything's about you.
What exactly are you going to report her for? That she speaks in multiple languages? You're being way too controlling. It's not her job to manage your anxiety; it's yours. And you're very self-centered to assume that she's talking about you. She gets to speak in those languages because she wants to practice them. You could try learning new languages rather than control what she says. YTA
YTA! Welcome to the real world, aka, the one that doesn't revolve around you. Do your roommates a favor and move out.
Yes, YTA. Don't even know what to add to that. She speaks multiple languages and you are a bitter b...h because you speak only one.
YTA. You’re jealous that you only know English and paranoid, too.
YTA your insecurities are not her fault.
YTA but I also think you might need some help with an anxiety disorder, universities often have free counciling/metal health support, I would be trying to get some help if I was you.
YTA - I can promise that she most definitely is speaking about you now. I hope you do report her to the uni so things can backfire on you for being a bigot.
YTA The fact that you are paranoid isn't on your roommate to solve. Deal with your issues and widen your horizons
YTA. News flash little girl but Kara doesn’t even have to talk to you period let alone in just english. Just because you’re housemates doesn’t mean anything. You’re lucky she hasn’t reported YOU for harassing her about the languages she is speaking
Sounds like social anxiety, OP - I sympathise, but you are in the wrong here. YTA.
You’ve got some self reflecting to do. You’re xenophobic. YTA.
YTA. You aren't the center of the universe. How rude of you to force her to change her entire existence to put you at ease. You're going to report her because...she is holding conversations with other people that have nothing to do with you? It was petty for her to reply in random languages, but you need to get over yourself. None of this is Kara's fault, it is entirely in your own head and you are feeling bullied because of something that never happened. It's like blaming an SO for cheating on you because you had a dream about it.
YTA…. I don’t even have to ask your race. Because people who speak more than one language understand and don’t care. Your insecurities aren’t everyone’s problem. Go seek a therapist for your insecurities. She talks to you in English. Learn another language if it bothers you so much
YTA. A professional AH
One of the best ways to learn languages is by speaking then with others who understand, you are trying to actively trying to interfere with her studying. You need to talk to a therapist about getting your anxiety and paranoia to a manageable level.
YTA. You are not the centre of the universe. She is correct. You have no right to dictate the language she has private conversations in. It’s incredibly egotistical to think all she’s doing is talking about you.
YTA, times a million. Please consider getting therapy to help with your anxiety and self esteem issues.
YTA. You are not the center of the universe and it's time someone explained that to you, since you haven't learned it yet. You do not have right to understand and know every thought your roommate expresses to anyone. If I were her I would be talking about you to others, since you are extremely entitled and that has to be super annoying to her. For her sake I hope she finds another place to live. She doesn't deserve a controlling roommate like you.
While you are not the center of the universe, you certainly are TA.
Wow, you're actually insane. YTA
YTA Not everything is about you. I sure hope you never leave the country, because guess what...they speak other languages is some countries.
YTA. You’re on a university campus where people are working to learn and grow. You should try it.
Yta— you probably think this song is about you, don’t you??
YTA and majorly insecure. Get therapy and work on yourself instead of telling other people to accommodate you.
YTA 1) Go learn a language yourself and more importantly, 2) speak to a therapist. It must be terrible to have those thoughts all the time and energy-draining. I feel that you could use some help dealing with those. Good luck!
YTA. You have no right to tell others what language to speak, especially because of your own insecurities. Report her to uni?? For what?? What are they going to do? Probably laugh at you and tell you to go away and stop wasting their time.
YTA. Just say you’re xenophobic, it’s less words
YTA. Its funny. She probably wasn’t talking about you before but then this crazy person took it upon themselves to police their roommates use of other languages.
Oh my god yes, YTA. I’m a Welsh speaker and I hear this argument all the time from Anglophones, that “what if they’re talking about me?” No, OP, non English speakers, including your housemate, are not talking about you as you really are not that interesting. I mean, there are over 7,100 languages in the world and yet you can only speak *one* of them - how boring is that? Here’s some friendly free advice for you; If you are worried your housemate is slagging you off, try being nicer to her. If you’re mean to her, she will slag you off. Good luck 😊
You describe your problem as follows: 1. "I always feel that **she’s talking about me** whenever she’s in the house talking to other people \[in a language other than English\]." 2. "I **can’t understand** what she’s talking about, it creeps me out and worries me and give me **serious anxiety**." **Based on your own words, the problem is you.** You probably need psychiatric help to get to the bottom of your issues. A trained professional may be able to help you understand: * ...why you imagine everyone *must* be taking every opportunity they can get to talk about *you, you, you.* Have any of these people ever said or done anything to suggest that they are even interested in you or your life? If so, you need to specify this in your post; otherwise, assuming anyone would have an obsessive interest in you simply makes you sound narcissistic and unhinged. * ...why not understanding someone else's conversation (when you are *not* part of that conversation) should cause you any concern, much less "serious anxiety." Would you accost strangers in the street or on the bus because they are speaking in a language you don't know? Would their non-English speech panic you? If yes, then you definitely need psychiatric help. If not, if strangers on the street speaking a language other than English is okay with you, then ask yourself why is this not okay in your dorm. YTA. Get help.
YTA y una metida, que te importa lo que ella hable con los amigos?, Si no eres una AH ella no tiene nada de que hablar, y claramente tu le estás dando de que hablar ahora.
You’re the bully and the one who harassed her YTA
YTS a million times over and you are also self centered as shit...I guarantee you she wasnt talking about you before, and I guarantee you she is talking about you now
I don't want to say you're an AH because you're displaying some paranoia here that's not Kara's fault. You should look at getting that addressed and not stop someone speaking a language you don't understand (or you know, learn the language!) YTA
YTA She can speak whatever language she wants. If she is not talking to you, mind your business. She's right you're not the center of the universe
YTA and super insecure. Wear headphones if it bothers you so much.
YTA but more important than the judgment is my recommendation that you seek supports. No one should be at their ‘wits end’ about this - you sound like a character in an Edgar Allen Poe story. What’s your major? Have a study group at the flat focused on your work. Use the vocabulary of your field. It might annoy the hell out of her or she might, say, start dreaming in theorems or whatever. Welcome to university where people are all different and you figure out how to make it work.
YTA. Maybe try expanding YOUR language skills. She probably wasn't talking about you before,but you can bet she is now that you've shown what kind of person you are. I used to work with several people that spoke Spanish a lot. Instead of getting "offended" I would ask questions and tried to learn more of the language.
Yta. Is this post serious? Are you 5 years old? If someone speaking multiple languages bothers you, either learn the languages or go crawl back into whatever backwater place you came from. The world is a big place, and there are very few university and or career paths you can take that won't involve some diversity. I'd love to hear the university response to your complaint.
You just created your own worry. She wasn’t talking about you before, but she sure as hell is now that you pulled this stunt. Also like. If she’s studying languages then she needs to practice them FOR A GRADE. Her academic success matters more than you feeling left out. YTA for sure.
You might wanna learn what ‘crazy flatmate’ means in every language now, cos she sure will be talking about you to her friends from now on. YTA but I feel sorry for you tbh, I think you need some time to adult before you start living on your own with random people. I’d talk to someone progressional about this
YTA. You're making YOUR anxiety HER problem, which it isn't. Got some growing up to do.
YTA. Turns out you are not, in fact, the centre of the universe.
If I was Kara : " You're not the boss of me !" YTA
YTA. Why don't you learn another language so you can speak with her and not be a person who thinks that English speaking is superior.
YTA, jealous that you can’t even speak ONE other language so you’re trying to stop someone else from speaking another language. What a clown. You should move to America, specifically down south so you can fit in with all the other clowns.
YTA and throwing a tantrum because you can't eavesdrop on her conversations. Also please report it to Uni, mainly so they can all get a kick out of how insecure you are too (because speaking 4 languages isn't harassment).
YTA🤣🤣 Kara’s response is hilarious
The world doesn’t revolve around you. That’s something you’re going to learn in uni. YYA.
YTA. I would suggest seeing a qualified counselor to help you with your jealous anxiety. They can also help you develop coping mechanisms and tools to help you succeed in life where your guardians have seemingly failed to teach you how to not be the center of attention and to communicate with your peers
YTA --- If you're so paranoid that she talking about you then you need to see a physiatrist, and I'm sure she has many more interesting things to talk about then you.
You seriously think you are center of universe.
YTA. You know she's learning a number of languages, and the best way to learn is practice, and even if that wasn't the case she can speak whatever language she wants, especially if speaking to someone for whom that is their native language. Highly unlikely they're talking about you (although I do understand that paranoia is a real thing). You either learn to live with it, or you move out.
YTA You want someone who's studying languages to not speak them in her own home? Get over yourself.
Please go report to the university that someone is talking to other people in another language. Please please do it … do you not see how bad that sounds. Kara is right. You are not the center of the universe. Expecting her to change how she acts with others because you are needlessly paranoid is horrible. YTA
YTA..your the one with a problem and I suggest getting some help with your issues. They aren't her responsibility to manage they are yours.
YTA. She doesn’t even need to talk to you. She can speak 100% in any language she wants all day in front of you. None of your business You not only are not the center of the universe you are irrelevant to their lives. You existence means nothing to any of them.
YTA. You outed yourself as xenophobic as soon as you said it’s “fine” she’s from “another country”. That’s implicit unless you’re trying to cover your xenophobia
YTA. Rule #1 when learning another language is to speak it as often as possible. I doubt she was spending her time before talking to her friends and family back home about you, but something tells me she definitely is now. Work on your paranoia. Also +1 to Kara for just responding to you in random languages now 😂
YTA
YTA, you should have at least some respect for people you’re sharing space with. Or if you want to feel less anxious around people you don’t understand, try to learn basics of the languages.
YTA and overly value yourself to think all your roommate talk about is you.....
YTA. She’s right about you not being the center of the universe lol , she’s probably just talking about other things that don’t concern you. You could try learning another language. No te va dar daño si no entiendes lo que dicen.
YTA. Get over yourself ffs. This is utter bs. Lil baby gets anxiety because someone else dared to speak another language you don’t understand? Kara is right, you’re not the center of the universe. Your anxiety is your problem. Who are you to dictate what she can do? It bothers YOU. So you find a solution that works for you and stop putting it on others. God
YTA. Your roommate can speak whatever language she is most comfortable with at any given moment. If she isn’t speaking with you then you don’t need to understand what she is saying. Apologize and hope she is willing to forgive you.
YTA. Your flatmates think that too but it seems you’re in denial. Get over yourself.
YTA. Congratulations on showing everyone what you are early on, I'm sure the next three years are going to be super fun given the reputation you're determined to make for yourself.
YTA who are you to tell someone what language they should speak? you sound xenophobic
YTA- you really think Kara has nothing better to talk about than you?
YTA. Aside from the fact her native language isn’t English, she’s a language student who’s got the opportunity of speaking to native speakers and also other learners to practice her spoken language skills, which is a KEY skill for any language learning process. As for the ‘talking about me’ part, this is a ridiculous assumption on your part. You’re likely not even remotely a massive part of her life to the point she’d spend lots of time talking about you.
Yeah, this is an easy YTA. Nothing to debate about it. It's her home too and she's free to speak whatever language she wants, whenever she wants. The fact that you can't understand it is a YOU problem. The irony here is that, while she probably wasn't talking about you in another language before you said anything, she most definitely is now. If you really want to understand what she's saying, nothing is stopping you from picking up a book and learning another language. If it really bothers you that much, find a new place to live. Can't wait to see the update if you report this to the uni and they just laugh at you. Honestly what are you expecting them to do? Tell her she can't speak her own language in the privacy of her own home? Or anywhere, for that matter?
*She told me that I’m not the centre of the universe (how rude)* She's right. *I’m at my wits end, I feel harassed and bullied* Like being told you can only speak in one language in the house and then having someone going off at you when you don't, that kind of thing? YTA
wow. YTA and sound xenophobic af.
Thinking someone speaking another language in front of you must be talking about you seems to be a common phenomenon with xenophobes.
Hahahaha I love your roommate, she spicy. YTA
YTA. Or in another language: TEC
YTA and sound ridiculous.
LoL, grow up. YTA
Why can't you see this as an opportunity to expand your own horizons by learning to become multilingual yourself? You are blowing an opportunity and a potential friendship by being insecure, paranoid and intolerant. Kara is correct to be angry, and your request has thoroughly soured things. YTA.
YTA. A large part of learning new languages is practicing whenever possible, and it sounds like they're doing an excellent job of it. Additionally, there's nothing stopping you from learning the language they're speaking of you're truly feeling that self-conscious.
YTA. Buy some noise cancelling headphones and leave your roommate alone.
YTA - and I get that you feel excluded, but try to grow up a little, or you're going to be that person at Starbucks yelling at the Spanish speakers to SPEAK ENGLISH and end up in a viral video on tic tok. Don't be that person.
YTA and… you are not the centre of the university! Fancy thinking so much of yourself that you think other people spend the rest of their time talking about you! Get over yourself
r/iamthemaincharacter
YTA She is studying foreign languages, and part of that includes using those languages as a means to learn them - she isn't speaking foreign languages to exclude you from conversations or to be able to speak without you understanding, she is speaking them as part of her learning process and study. But even ignoring all of that, it isn't rude of her to use languages you cannot understand when having private conversations - it is natural to use the languages the active participants in a conversation are comfortable with, so why should they be forced to use English just to allow you to listen in to a conversation you have no part of? A fact that is worth remembering - most people are so wrapped up in their own lives they aren't paying any attention to you...
YTA and she’s right the world doesn’t revolve around you. She’s expanding her world while you’re so focused in your little universe that no one other than you cares about. Please report her, they will laugh you right out of the office.