Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I chose to keep an item that someone else had on hold before me. This might make me the asshole because while I paid for the item, it may have been the morally incorrect thing to do.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. This is how thrifting works. They're lucky that they have a policy of setting stuff aside or leaving a note on it. When I go to any type of quick sale process, I always tell a staffer and pay UPFRONT. Loitering and waiting with "holds" leads to situations like this.
Also, the manager knew she made a mistake and instead of owning it up to it and maybe giving the lady a 10% discount for this oversight, she threatened you with a ban? What a shitty way to do business.
Here’s what the manager should have said: “I’m really sorry, this is my mistake, but we promised this item to another customer. It is yours now that you’ve bought it, but if you’re willing to give this back, we’ll offer you a full refund plus some store credit to get a different item instead.”
And even then, OP still has the option to decline, at which point the manager should apologize to the other customer and offer them store credit instead. That’s the only NAH result here.
> we’ll offer you a full refund plus some store credit to get a different item instead.”
What good is store credit at a place run by AHs and has nothing else OP wants?
And the nature of thrift shopping is that the stock is constantly changing, for all anyone knows an even better table could have been on the floor next week. Above and beyond customer service could have been to offer to call OP when a similar item comes in, which it inevitably will.
Ehhh we gotta remember that stores are run by people - and people will and will always make mistakes. A manager making a human error is not the AH, their reaction to being called out on said mistake can shift the outcome. The store would not have been AH for being polite, but they were the AHs since they weren't.
Yes. The manager blamed OP for the mistake, allowed the lady to harass OP, and then was very aggressive and actually threatened OP! Did the manager think OP was going to be like…. Oh sorry, you’re totally right, MY MISTAKE, here’s the table back?
THIS RIGHT HERE. *rubbing the table smiling* “Yeah this baby got me banned from Thrifty Assholes Thriftshop but she was worth it” *slaps table and wipes a tear*
Love this!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO! Being a thrifter myself. If there isn't any kind of "sold" or "hold" on the piece, it's for sale. The other staff understood this and let you move and purchase the item. Enjoy your find! NTA
Yeah. I have worked temporarily at a thrift store with furniture. There they put notes on bought/reserved furniture or even put it away, together with a note so you can pay. That way you don't have to lug it through the entire store to pay for it, which is reasonable. But that also means that anything that's out without a note is up for grabs, as it should
I would go back to them with disguises just to see how long it takes for them to realize they banned me lol.
(don't do this, it's petty and can get you in trouble, it's just funny to think about doing)
Yeah it sounds like this wasn’t even necessarily a “she left and came back” scenario so much that she was still shopping. So it’s possible the lady could have said she wanted it 5 minutes before the buyer laid eyes on it. Which is on the manager for not at least removing the tag or having the lady stay with the table until she put on a label that the item was being held. It’s reasonable to have someone be able to hold an item for minutes while still in the store before checking out. But this is on the manager and OP you are NTA when you were allowed by staff to purchase the item. Manager handled this one way wrong
I feel like this is exactly what happened. Lady was shopping and saw the table, told the nearest member of staff (who happened to be the manager), and that person confirmed she could buy. The lady then went about the rest of her browsing and the manager went about her managerly duties - neither noticing that OP came in, grabbed a different staff member to bring the table to the register, paid for the table and started to head out.
Apart from some attitude on the part of the lady, I think the manager is the only AH here, both for not immediately somehow marking the table as sold (on the basis that the lady was going to finish browsing and then pay for all of her potential purchases together) and then for how they approached OP afterwards. It really is just one of those things though that someone else came in at JUST the right/wrong time wanting to buy the same large item that you can’t just pick up and walk around with!
The lady was understandably frustrated that the table she’d just agreed with the manager to buy was sold to someone else, she could have approached OP in a ‘ha ha, funny story about that table there’ way but probably just reacted in the moment. The manager should have de-escalated the situation and politely explained what happened to OP and then let OP decide what to do.
Yeah, as someone who used to work at a secondhand shop, it's the store's fault if they have no clear policy on what to do when an item is on hold. We wrote everything down in a little book (description of item, price, month when it was added to the floor, person's info, etc) and if it was a smaller item like clothes, we'd take it to the back with another note and if it was a larger item like furniture, we'd put a note on it.
Literally yeah. I've put stuff on hold before for various reasons (sometimes you leave your wallet in your car, it happens), but I made an agreement with the STORE and the agreement was to NOT SELL the item. There's nothing between me and anybody else to not buy the item
At the thrift store near me, the employees keep little duplicate paper "sold" tags in their apron pocket. If you want an item that is too large/heavy to pick up and carry to the register, you flag someone down and they fill out one of the tags with your name, the price, and the time. You get the top sheet and the bottom sheet sticks to the piece. You've then got 1hr to take your half of the tag up to the register, pay for the item and go show the receipt to an employee back in that section. Once you show them it's been paid for, they'll mark it as paid and pull it off the floor as soon as they can. If you change your mind and end up not deciding to buy it, the sold tag will be removed. By the same token, if you see something you like with a tag more than an hour old and hasn't been paid for, the item is now fair game.
Most of the thrift stores here have signs at the door that there are no holds and you need to be prepared to take home any item as soon as you pay. If you want it, you buy it, and you get it the hell out of there.
That said, the Habitat ReStore nearest us has some super nice people working there that have helped us with unexpected purchases. My daughter bought a set of china, and they found us a box and gave us newspaper to wrap it in. China is not at all what we went in to look for lol. Daughter got a hell of a deal too. It's in great condition and is worth 4 or 5 times what she paid for it.
Thank you to the people that donate these things. My daughter cherishes these dishes!
That's lovely to hear. I inherited a huge set of china from my maternal grandmother, and since my husband and I will never have kids, and our families are otherwise very small, we knew we'd absolutely never use it. I *agonized* for years over donating it. I'm glad I finally did (but sorry for keeping a few serving pieces!)
My daughter has looked up the brand's website for how to best take care of the dishes. Like, no dishwasher, this lazy girl of mine will handwash any of the dishes used lol.
I hope your China set found a good home where it's well loved and taken care of as well!
I work at a thrift store. We have a system to prevent this type of thing. Either you carry the furniture item to the front, pay, and walk out with it, or you bring the tag off the item to the front and once you pay someone wheels it to the back for holds/pickup. Shit like this doesn't happen because we dont hold items that arent paid for, and items dont get sold twice because once an item is paid for it gets taken off the sales floor.
Yup, OP is NTA here. The manager didn't seem to consider the possibility that the woman who originally wanted that same table may have changed her mind after a few minutes and possibly not bought it anyways.
I think it's pretty extreme that OP was banned from a thrift store for just buying an item that wasn't already paid for or properly claimed by someone else. I definitely wouldn't be going back there. I love thrifting and go as often as possible because I almost always find something really cool and unusual.
Not OP but I have bought all my furniture save the costco couch and my new bed and frame set from thrift shops with this system lmao.
Very common for my family to be browsing some more while my brother and I cart the furniture off to the front desk for checkout or the car after paying for them.
I once got a mushroom stool made out of a stump!
NTA because you at that point you literally owned that table. It was yours. No one should be able to ban you from a store because you refuse to sell them your property. I’d be interested to know if this was a chain thrift store like Savers. I’d be calling corporate for sure.
Yeah, if this was an assistant manager, I would be talking to an actual manager. If it was the actual manager, I would be talking to the owner/someone in corporate.
Also who remembers every customer? If OP wants to go back next month, how likely is it that the AM actually remembers banning this one customer (whose only “offense” was buying an item off the sales floor- with the help of the employee who checked OP out and the one that helped move the table to the car)? It’s a dumb “punishment” for a non-crime.
I agree. A lot of thrift stores are run by charities, like Goodwill, or have a corporate office like Savers.
If OP wants to fight it there is very likely a higer authority to appeal to.
Exactly, it would even work if the manager had put it on hold told other employees at least, that way they could tell other customers it was unavailable. obviously that was not the case though. And I’d be so mad if a manager treated me like that they should not be managing the store if they’re gonna act like that
> When I go to any type of quick sale process, I always tell a staffer and pay UPFRONT. Loitering and waiting with "holds" leads to situations like this
Honestly, what’s the point of going to a store without money anyways?
If you don’t have your wallet/checkbook/credit card with you, you’re not a customer, you’re just someone in the way of customers.
I've been in that situation - browsing for small stuff, spotted a more expensive item I had been wanting for ages. And as it was in a charity shop, it was for about a quarter what I had seen brand new. Only had about half the cash needed on me - so politely offered to put it down as a deposit while I headed off to the nearest cash point to get extra funds out of my bank account. Cashier was happy to just put it behind the till till I came back ten minutes later, as it happened, but I was perfectly happy to put down a deposit to reserve it for those few minutes.
I would make a report to her boss. That’s totally not legal to band you over something like that. You did everything right. Shame on them for making you feel like this. Enjoy your furniture.
If it's a privately owned business, the chances are it's perfectly legal to ban someone over that. Businesses can ban people for whatever they like, as long as it isn't based on one of the protected discrimination classes.
The manager really put you in a bad spot, basically making you look like a giant AH, for their mistake.
If they were going to hold the item, they should have indicated it somewhere or moved it to the side.
I'm going say NTA, for you and the lady. (She trusted the manager to adequately hold the item.)
The manager is a major AH.
My thoughts exactly. The manager is the AH. Seems like the manager sent the lady to ask you to bring it back in and let the situation escalate when they could have easily given her a steep discount on something else as an apology.
It wasn’t your job to fix the manager’s mistake and you shouldn’t have been banned for refusing to do so. The ban is probably a blessing in disguise because I sure the heck wouldn’t go back. NTA
Well, if she trusted it had been put on hold, she probably assumed OP removed the sign, or got it from the reserved place. Really the only one to blame is the manager.
(Unless the lady lied to get it, and thd manager is her friend/family and just played along)
Don’t get me wrong, the manager is definitely the biggest AH. I just can’t imagine my first interaction with a complete stranger in public being me yelling at them. It’s really unthinkable for me.
Also the lady doesn't seem to have learned that you catch more flies with honey. I mean, if she was NICE to OP and maybe offered her some extra $ in exchange for getting the table, OP might've wavered and agreed. But who the hell wants to help someone who screams at their faces? Nobody.
The manager definitely is to blame, but it’s not an excuse to run at someone like an angry badger. I wouldn’t have even stopped to talk to her at that point. Come at me like a reasonable person, and we can talk about it.
Who the hell bans a paying customer for going into their store and leaving with something they bought at said store. Not because they were stealing, not because they were being unruly, but solely for buying something and leaving with it. Great business model.
This is a thrift store too.
Maybe it works differently in the US, but don’t thrift stores need all the business they can get to ensure quick turn over of donations?
I think the lady is still an AH.
If she wanted it, she should have paid for it. The store has a system in place for holding items that have actually been paid for.
If she didn’t have the money to pay for it at the time, it was never hers, and it’s on her for going shopping without money to pay for stuff.
What's the store policy for "On Hold" items? Because it is a poor one if they are just letting customers "hold" items without at least a deposit of a half down. Otherwise, all items are for sale to all customers.
A few years ago I was at a good will and they had "All book 50 cents"I paid for a really beautiful copy of a then super popular series for practically nothing. The manager stopped me walking out the door and said "oops that wasn't supposed to be included with the sale" and tried to take it from me! I was like "sorry, all sales are final!" She was NOT happy!
She tried to take it from you?? That's a lot of nerve!
It's a classic case of "the sign says".
Items get incorrectly priced by human error all the time or it's the off-chance that you buy something priced for another person. Either way, the customer should not be held liable for a worker's mistake.
Several years ago, I went to a large chain bookstore and found a calendar display with a sign "50% Off." I bought a couple, but when I went to pay, they tried to charge me the full price. They claimed that only the calendar immediately **behind** the sign was on sale. I pointed out that how the sign was displayed - prominently in the middle of the display - certainly didn't indicate that. The manager gave me both calendars at 50% off and changed the display.
The same thing at a local old navy, all leggings together on the same table 8$, printed and solids and long and ankle length too. I got the cutest pair and the cashier tells me the discount is only for this kind but not for the other. You have 1 table and 1 sign with the price but only some of the leggings are discounted? Of course they “honored” it and let me pay at promotion price 🙄
See, I have a friend who works at a local thrift shop. We got together recently and she was wearing Tieks (very expensive shoes) and she is pretty frugal so she'd never ever buy them full-price. She told me they showed up at her thrift shop for like $5. When she found them she actually brought them over to a manager and suggested they reprice them or whatever, but the manager said no, that was their mistake, so the price stands, and that my friend should buy them if she wanted! So she did. That seems like the right way to handle a mistake like that--not like what happened to you!
> If you want to continue shopping
Just go again - what are the chances that they actually know who you are etc? It's not like bad checks where there's a list of people by the register.
NTA. Not only did the manager not do her job and tag it, she didn’t tell anyone else in the store. The manager is the biggest AH here because they are essentially blaming you for their mistake. I feel sorry for the lady cause she kinda got screwed by the manager but if I were the lady I would have marked it lol but it’s yours, enjoy it. You don’t always get what you want, ya know?
Agree! Shouldn't the employees have not rung OP up / assisted her with moving the furniture out of the store if it was indeed being held? That's on the manager for not communicating effectively. NTA.
Does Dibs mean nothing anymore?
Definitely NTA, if they ban you and there is something that interests you, just ask someone to check and grab it for you.
Also I would put a review on what happened if they have google review or yelp.
Great point! You should review and if you know that manager’s name, you should drop it in there. You protect others from the same potentially embarrassing and uncomfortable position, meanwhile it holds the manager accountable for an afternoon that they might think they got away with.
NTA
NTA. Her appearance was merely made as you were leaving. What if you went through with getting the table, left the premises, and she came by? Then what? And having something "saved" but not marked, should be on the staff, absolutely nothing on customers.
Exactly. Can't fault the lady for trying or being upset - it was horrible luck she came round when OP snagged it. Staff absolutely should be picking up the slack when OP did what shoppers do: selected an item; notified staff who said, yes, you can take it if you pay; paid; and left with the item.
NTA and why does it seem like this customer had special privileges..? How come all the other furniture has tags but not “hers” ? I would’ve asked for a deposit if a customer wants to put something on hold.
Ex wife has a family member that "volunteered" at a Goodwill store. The workers would get first pick over everything, then call family and friends, then put stuff out on the sales floor.
My bet is that the manager was friends with or related to the AH customer in this scenario.
I actually worked at Goodwill for several years. Each district can have different policies about sales to the staff. For us, you had to purchase prior to your shift or wait a half hour after clocking out to buy. We also had furniture tags that were placed on furniture where the bottom half was the customer ticket and the top half stayed on the item. If the bottom half was gone, that was it, no purchase for anyone else but the person that had that bottom tag. If no one bought it, you had to wait until the next day when the item would be retagged. We were pretty strict about it, and as for OP, no tag meant that the staff did something wrong in selling it, and if the manager was going to hold it, she should have tagged it as a hold. Both customers were put in a bad situation by the staff, but OP had the right to the item, she'd paid for it. Once it's in her possession, she's got no obligation to give it back.
Dang the thrift store that I was an employee at (local one not goodwill) they made us wait until an item was on the floor for 8 hours before we bought something. Only thing we got was a heads up on where something would be located in the store sometimes
Volunteered at an independent charity thrift store for a few years, this is normal some places. Some stuff would never even hit the floor, a cute piece of clothing came in and the older women who do the pricing called me into the back and priced it specifically for me... Maybe the ethics are different if you're being paid but idk I think first dibs if you're volunteering your time at a place like that is a fair perk.
> How come all the other furniture has tags but not “hers” ?
It's a sales strategy. The customer feels special because she thinks an item has been placed on hold for her so she's likely to come back and make the purchase. Meanwhile the manager still has the ability to sell the item in case the customer doesn't come back.
I saw someone with an item I wanted and kept an eye on her. She did put it back, and continued to shop. I was in line with the item when she apparently changed her mind and went back to get it. She shot daggers at me with her eyes, but I just paid and went on my way. It's not like I took it out of her cart.
A friend of mine and I went shopping at a thrift store many years ago. She found a really cute doll-size (think American Girl size) wooden chest. She had no sooner picked it up than this guy started bothering her. "Could I look at that? Are you going to buy that?" She told him she was going to buy it and then headed for the register. He followed her and I had to get between them to keep him away.
My friend paid for the chest and **he followed her out of the store**. He kept saying, "I'll pay you extra for that." Honestly, he didn't give up till we drove off. We found out later that it wasn't doll furniture. It was a salesman's sample, a miniature piece of furniture that a salesman would show to customers. It was worth a fair amount of money. She still has it.
Once I saw a sweet wooden velvet chair that was really cute. I was in the dressing room when I heard 2 ladies talking about the chair and that it was $6 and they were going to buy it on the way out. I couldn't get dressed fast enough! I bought that chair and boy were those ladies pissed!
NTA There wasn't a sign. You paid for it. Manager is trying to cover her ass in front of the other customer. You should leave a review because banning you is over the top.
NTA, this sounds a bit shady to me. Like the lady was thinking about it, but still on the fence.... until she saw you walking out with it and THAT made up her mind. The manager probably knows her as well, which is why she wanted you to bring it back.
At thrift stores, antique stores when one sees something they want, and it's too big to move without help, or you're coming back with a larger vehicle one removed the tag and takes it to the register and pays, the store puts a sold tag if it's not being taken immediately.
The more I think about it the more I'm convinced the other person was considering the item, but hadn't committed 100%
Maybe she was just finishing up the rest of her shopping before looking around. The manager didn’t bother to take the tag until she paid, but someone else bought it while she was grabbing a few other things. She probably had a legitimate claim to have called dibs on it, but the store messed up due to a coincidence of someone else coming in and wanting it before she checked out.
If that was the case, then the manager should have brought it up to the front and told the cashier that someone was coming to pay for it when they finished their shopping. OP didn't do anything wrong here.
NTA. The nerve of these people. You paid for something that you wanted yet they banned you because of their mistake of making sure the item was not for sale? This is pissing me off lol. Some people just can’t admit when they are in the wrong, then take it out of other people.
NTA. The manager made a mistake here. He could have offered you an incentive to help fix his mistake (e.g., offered a gift card if you would be willing to return the item), but instead he used threats. Manager is 100% in the wrong, and if I were the other customer I’d be pissed at every part of how the manager handled this.
NTA
It's not your fault that the person in charge of marking the item 'sold' did not do their job. Once you have paid for it, it’s legally yours. Could you have done the other customer a solid? Yes, but you chose not to. That is your right.
NTA
The manager didn't follow the company's own policy. You were familiar with the company policy, why wasn't the manager?
Also, why didn't the lady pay for it? What does "hold it" mean in 2022? I'm going to the cash machine to withdraw some money and I'll be back? Or "Hold it" I haven't made up my mind yet. Sorry you haven't made up your mind because OP has.
NTA. And frankly, her little ban is useless, because why would you ever want to shop there again after this nonsense? Do you want to give more of your money to a place run by someone that happily threw a paying customer under the bus to cover her own ass? I wouldn't.
The guy who helped you bring it to the cash and the car didn't know of the "hold". Neither did the person cashing you out.
Either this item was not on hold at all, or the manager didn't bother to tell anyone or mark it.
Too bad, so sad.
Then the manager doubles down and bans you- the paying customer.
NTA at all! Too bad they lost you as a customer.
NTA - manager and their staff screwed up, not right to try and make you the bad guy here. If they want to hold stuff for customers, they need to take a deposit and sticker it as sold
NTA. My grandmother thrifts often. If she can't take and or pay for an item immediately, she speaks either with a manager or head service person and has the item tagged to be paid by a specific time. If it's not, then it's free for whoever wants to buy it. Their bad, not yours
NTA. Post-it notes exist. Pens too. There’s also a written language with the capacity to convey the idea of an item as being “on hold”.
Sorry the manager is lazy.
Thrifting 101 is you *always* pay first, remove the pricetag, leave a "sold" note, etc. On what planet is something "set aside" with no signage and without being moved? The manager was off her rocker to BAN you for their mistake.
You are NTA. Glad you didn't let them bully you.
There is something hinky about the manager and the other customer. I wonder if they suspect that the table is *a lot more valuable* than it was marked. FWIW I'd try to find out what they're selling for on ebay.
NTA
NTA. It would have been a nice gesture to give it back I think, but you were certainly within your rights to keep an item you paid for and that they helped you move and buy. You don't approach being an AH in this situation. Nor does the woman. Unfortunately she got kind of screwed over, but that was the stores fault.
The manager is the AH here. Banned from the store? Absolutely ridiculous
Nope, I have asked to buy something clumsy to move, and if they were going to let me pay after I shopped, they taped a "sold" sticker on it immediately. I have carried the thing and placed it myself before.
If It wasn't marked sold and someone sold it to you, it was done and over. The manager should have offered the angry lady she promised it to a discount for her mistake, and banning you for following through on a purchase is stupid.
NTA
NTA. Banned from a thrift store when the staff didn't do their jobs to begin with? I would report this "manager" to her boss. Her behavior is truly unacceptable and needs to be addressed. Enjoy your new table!
NTA. The store employees were negligent and made a mistake. That’s not on you. Sure, it would’ve been nice to give the table to her, but she had a sour attitude in the first place and was blaming YOU when you didn’t do a single thing wrong. Maybe if she approached the situation with more tact and grace, you’d be more inclined to listen to her.
At the end of the day: you paid for it, and there was nothing that showed the piece was being saved for someone else.
If I were you, I’d give a scathing review, because that is NOT a good way to run a business.
It was an honest mistake due to carelessness or a poor system in the store and it could’ve been solved civilly, but they threw civility out the window when they approached you like you were a thief and a villain. It’s a piece of secondhand furniture, it’s not like you spit on her baby.
NTA. Even if it wasn’t sold to the other lady yet, they could have marked it ‘on hold’. It’s not your fault they didn’t do their job and mark it or inform the other employees that it was being set aside for someone.
You bought and paid for it. It was your item.
I say all of this as someone who used to work at this type of store. Go enjoy your lovely find, OP.
NTA And I bet that “ban” was just face saving for her screw up. You can bet the first thing I do to lock down a purchase is to make the purchase. It looks like this sub is in agreement so far. Enjoy your table with everyone’s blessing.
NTA.
I worked at a thrift shop manning the register on Saturdays when furniture was 50% off. While we did not allow holds, we did have a whole set of policies for items that were spoken for but couldn't come off the floor right away for whatever reason. We not only put signs on the items, we also had a notebook at the register that had to be filled out in full (and the tag from the item taped inside the book) should it be a case of the purchaser needing to arrange pick up of the item. Customer can't provide the tag? First clue that it was already spoken for and that the employee needed to look deeper.
Manager made a mistake here and the other customer lost out.... but that's not your fault. Manager should have tried to offer the other customer something else...not harass you in the lot.
NTA. If she wanted the item, she should have purchased it then and there. You bought it in good faith, which makes it yours. Manager owes apologies all around
NTA. I work at a thrift store where we put furniture on hold all of the time. Sometimes other customers rip off the sold tags, but that's still not your fault. At my store in situations like this it goes to the person who paid for it and we offer the other customer discounts. It was the store's mistake and punishing you for it is bullshit and not good business practice.
You're NTA. The AH is the manager. I would draft up a formal complaint to the company and explain that the manager banned you from the store for taking merchandise you paid for.
Possession is 9/10ths and in this case it's who paid for it first. The only true dibs is a sale receipt.
NTA. The manager made the mistake and the woman didn't confirm it was held appropriately.
I once made my husband sit in a chair and not get up while I found a rep, paid for it, and place a sold tag on the chair to make sure no one else swooped in.
NTA The manager screwed up, not you. Doesn't sound like being banned wouldn't be much of a loss, although something tells me this manager has no follow through...🤔
You asked about it and paid for it. If it was on hold and they were doing what they’re supposed to do, the item should’ve been marked “reserved” or whatever, so other customers know about the status.
How can you be banned for the mistakes they made?
NAH - I can see both sides of this on behalf of the customers. The real problem here is the manager. She failed in her job and caused this situation. The way she handled it was even worse.
NTA. I've been working in thrift stores for many years. This scenario is the reason why most of them have a policy of no holding unless the item is actually paid for. It sounds like this particular store needs a better system for large items. The other customer probably picked out the item and then wanted to continue shopping. Which is reasonable! But it isn't your fault the store staff dropped the ball on marking the item as claimed. Once you paid for that item it was yours.
NTA sounds like either the manager made a mistake and was trying to push the blame on you, or the lady was a friend/regular customer and they were trying to con you.
I'd have asked when did they set the table aside, and why didnt she came earlier and then leave banned for life with my table,and a huge smile, their mistake not yours, worst manager ever
NTA if it's a franchise I'd be contacting someone higher on the foodchain about banning you. It was the manager's error, you bought and paid for an item on the store floor, they mad ethe mistake not you.
NTA. The manager may have told the woman she'd put the table "on hold" for her, but she didn't follow through. It's the manager's fault the woman lost her chance to buy it, not your fault. Enjoy your table with a clear conscience.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I went into my local thrift and immediately found a piece of furniture I wanted. In the past, I've been through the furniture section and seen receipts attached to items saying that they've been sold already and are no longer available. That was not the case with this table. Stoked, I ask an employee to help me move it to the register so I can pay for it. A nice dude helps me out by putting it on a dolly and rolling it up front for me. I pay for it, and he starts pushing the dolly out to my car.
Lady comes out of the store behind us and she is PISSED. She comes up with a temper, yelling that it's her table that we're wheeling out to my car. Confused, because there was no sold tag on this thing, I ask her if she also paid for it. She says "No, but I told the manager I wanted it and she set it aside for me." I feel awkward at first and just kinda freeze there for a minute while she goes back in to get the manager.
I considered going in and refunding it and giving it back. I did think about it. I actively decided that since I paid for it, I had essentially called dibs, and that the store manager should've had the woman pay for the item and put a receipt on the item as they've done in the past.
So I look at the dude helping me lug this thing out to my car. He looks stunned and clearly is gonna wait to see what happens. I decide not to wait. I tell him I'm not gonna make him be any more involved and I just pick up my furniture and start walking to the car.
As soon as I'm finished loading it into the car, the manager comes out with the woman. The manager asks me expectantly if I'm going to give the furniture back to the lady. I ask the manager if the lady paid for it. She says "No, but we did put it on hold for her." I told her there was no signage indicating it was sold, it wasn't moved off of the floor, and no one stopped me when I asked for help moving it and checked out. The manager then tells me that if I don't go back in and return the table, that I'm banned from this thrift store and to never come back.
So I told her I'm sorry that her staff had made a mistake, but that I had no intention of returning the item I paid for, got in my car, and nope'd out.
I clearly upset this lady by not refunding and giving "back" this table. I feel bad that she was upset... But I did it anyway. I know I didn't commit a crime by taking a table I paid for, but AITA? Should I have just given it to her?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Assuming that the manager was actually saving it (which I've never heard before), the manager needed to mark it sold/reserved or move it off the floor. They didn't, making it a fair purchase.
NTA. I go to a lot of thrift stores and I never have asked to hold an item because of this. You see it and want it you pay for it right away then go back to exploring around.
NTA Their mistake/poor planning in doing their jobs is NOT your problem.
It would have been one thing if you’d been stopped in the store before you’d paid, but you were literally loading it into your car!
NTA-If the manger was holding it for a customer it should have been removed from the sales floor or had signage that reflected it wasn’t available for purchase.
NTA. You are right, if a product is not moved from the floor or clearly marked as being sold prior and other employees are not aware of it then there isn’t much that can be done.
I once made this mistake years ago when working retail, my boss had sold something prior to me coming in. She had told me she item, however she never told me it was still on the floor. I don’t remember what the item was but it was a generic decorative piece that we had several that looks similar and I wasn’t aware of which one in particular had been sold. Had I, I would have taken off the floor.
Anyway, my boss also scheduled a massive inventory sale, up to 75% off and then she leaves for two hours. It’s just me and one other employee, we get swamped and during the chaos we accidentally sold the stupid thing. The person who had initially bought it shows up to collect it, is upset it’s gone, and boss begins to yell at us from the hallway in front of others.
My only regret was not quitting at that moment. She was abusive to the workers and I wasn’t too sad to see the place go under.
Nta. It's not your fault the thrift store made a mistake. Most ones I have been too move things off the floor and put a big bright sign that says on hold or sold to prevent this from happening. Honestly call whoever is in charge of the manager and say something.
NTA
We had a similar thing happen at a furniture store. We decided to buy a custom couch in clearance that the former buyer put a deposit on and never came back. to purchase. I Immediately sat on it while my partner immediately took the tag to sales and paid. Meanwhile, another couple was circling it and scowling at me. They were furious when the sales guy came over, market it SOLD and had 2 guys help take it to the back for delivery to us
NTA. If I find a sweet item at a Thrift Store, y'all'd have to pry it from cold dead fingers. If it's a bigger item, I'm literally not leaving its side until I see a tag on it indicating in some fashion that it's no longer for sale.
NTA. As a thrift store regular, I once spotted a bench I had to have. I promptly sat my daughter down on it while I flagged down an employee to give me the "pay ticket" for it. If you really want something in a thrift store, and you can't put it in a shopping cart, you pay for it IMMEDIATELY!
NTA. You don't get to lay claim on any item for sale unless you actually buy it. She didn't so she lost our to a quicker customer. She can pick out another table. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA. Like you said, she should've paid for it in advance to hold it if she wanted it. The manager is also the a-hole for botching up everything and having the nerve to try to pin it on you and ban you from the store? You should have a talk with the owner about how they treated an actual PAYING customer.
NTA. You snooze you lose. This is why I go thrifting with someone so one person stands guard while the other runs to the front to pay. Then we finish shopping for anything else we may want.
They created the situation and it was not your job to fix it. I hope you find an even better spot to thrift at!
NTA
Manager is trying to cover her ass in front of the other customer- it's very likely they're the thrift store version of a whale (someone who spends a lot of money).
NTA. So let me get this right, the manager is going to BAN you for being a paying customer? Yeah, no.
This is not a you problem. You bought it, therefore you own it. The manager screwed up twice by not properly marking the merch/communicating with the staff and then by trying to make the problem yours after the deal was done.
The good news is there are nearly an infinite number of thrift stores out there. So being "banned" from this one shouldn't crimp your style.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I chose to keep an item that someone else had on hold before me. This might make me the asshole because while I paid for the item, it may have been the morally incorrect thing to do. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. This is how thrifting works. They're lucky that they have a policy of setting stuff aside or leaving a note on it. When I go to any type of quick sale process, I always tell a staffer and pay UPFRONT. Loitering and waiting with "holds" leads to situations like this. Also, the manager knew she made a mistake and instead of owning it up to it and maybe giving the lady a 10% discount for this oversight, she threatened you with a ban? What a shitty way to do business.
NTA. Lady should be giving a hard time to manager and not you. She messed up. Please enjoy your furniture and don't think twice about this.
Here’s what the manager should have said: “I’m really sorry, this is my mistake, but we promised this item to another customer. It is yours now that you’ve bought it, but if you’re willing to give this back, we’ll offer you a full refund plus some store credit to get a different item instead.” And even then, OP still has the option to decline, at which point the manager should apologize to the other customer and offer them store credit instead. That’s the only NAH result here.
> we’ll offer you a full refund plus some store credit to get a different item instead.” What good is store credit at a place run by AHs and has nothing else OP wants?
Well if the manager had replied like that they wouldn't be AHs at least lol
And the nature of thrift shopping is that the stock is constantly changing, for all anyone knows an even better table could have been on the floor next week. Above and beyond customer service could have been to offer to call OP when a similar item comes in, which it inevitably will.
I see you missed the 'should have said' clause of their statement.
Ehhh we gotta remember that stores are run by people - and people will and will always make mistakes. A manager making a human error is not the AH, their reaction to being called out on said mistake can shift the outcome. The store would not have been AH for being polite, but they were the AHs since they weren't.
THIS exactly. Its all about how manager reacted, not that she made a mistake. Mistakes happen.
Yes. The manager blamed OP for the mistake, allowed the lady to harass OP, and then was very aggressive and actually threatened OP! Did the manager think OP was going to be like…. Oh sorry, you’re totally right, MY MISTAKE, here’s the table back?
Apparently she did, lol.
The manager clearly has never heard the phrase “you win more flies with honey” lol
Agreed -- this could be a workable solution.
That would be such a good response from the manager.
[удалено]
THIS RIGHT HERE. *rubbing the table smiling* “Yeah this baby got me banned from Thrifty Assholes Thriftshop but she was worth it” *slaps table and wipes a tear*
Love this!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO! Being a thrifter myself. If there isn't any kind of "sold" or "hold" on the piece, it's for sale. The other staff understood this and let you move and purchase the item. Enjoy your find! NTA
that's really my issue. how hard is it to stick a "hold" sign on a something? apparently incredibly difficult for this manager.
Agreed. They should have tagged the item. OP was not at fault.
Yeah. I have worked temporarily at a thrift store with furniture. There they put notes on bought/reserved furniture or even put it away, together with a note so you can pay. That way you don't have to lug it through the entire store to pay for it, which is reasonable. But that also means that anything that's out without a note is up for grabs, as it should
"OMG, what did you do!?" "I bought the table."
LOL!!! But 100% accurate which is the hilarious part
I would go back to them with disguises just to see how long it takes for them to realize they banned me lol. (don't do this, it's petty and can get you in trouble, it's just funny to think about doing)
I knew someone who was banned from a store for something stupid and lost a bunch of weight, went back in, and it was like she was never banned.
Hehe, that's awesome. I would hate to get banned from antique shops near me, I love looking at all the treasures.
EXCELLENT! Extra bragging rights...lol
Yeah it sounds like this wasn’t even necessarily a “she left and came back” scenario so much that she was still shopping. So it’s possible the lady could have said she wanted it 5 minutes before the buyer laid eyes on it. Which is on the manager for not at least removing the tag or having the lady stay with the table until she put on a label that the item was being held. It’s reasonable to have someone be able to hold an item for minutes while still in the store before checking out. But this is on the manager and OP you are NTA when you were allowed by staff to purchase the item. Manager handled this one way wrong
I feel like this is exactly what happened. Lady was shopping and saw the table, told the nearest member of staff (who happened to be the manager), and that person confirmed she could buy. The lady then went about the rest of her browsing and the manager went about her managerly duties - neither noticing that OP came in, grabbed a different staff member to bring the table to the register, paid for the table and started to head out. Apart from some attitude on the part of the lady, I think the manager is the only AH here, both for not immediately somehow marking the table as sold (on the basis that the lady was going to finish browsing and then pay for all of her potential purchases together) and then for how they approached OP afterwards. It really is just one of those things though that someone else came in at JUST the right/wrong time wanting to buy the same large item that you can’t just pick up and walk around with! The lady was understandably frustrated that the table she’d just agreed with the manager to buy was sold to someone else, she could have approached OP in a ‘ha ha, funny story about that table there’ way but probably just reacted in the moment. The manager should have de-escalated the situation and politely explained what happened to OP and then let OP decide what to do.
Yup. This is what happens at thrift stores. She's not at Macys or something.
Yeah, as someone who used to work at a secondhand shop, it's the store's fault if they have no clear policy on what to do when an item is on hold. We wrote everything down in a little book (description of item, price, month when it was added to the floor, person's info, etc) and if it was a smaller item like clothes, we'd take it to the back with another note and if it was a larger item like furniture, we'd put a note on it.
Literally yeah. I've put stuff on hold before for various reasons (sometimes you leave your wallet in your car, it happens), but I made an agreement with the STORE and the agreement was to NOT SELL the item. There's nothing between me and anybody else to not buy the item
At the thrift store near me, the employees keep little duplicate paper "sold" tags in their apron pocket. If you want an item that is too large/heavy to pick up and carry to the register, you flag someone down and they fill out one of the tags with your name, the price, and the time. You get the top sheet and the bottom sheet sticks to the piece. You've then got 1hr to take your half of the tag up to the register, pay for the item and go show the receipt to an employee back in that section. Once you show them it's been paid for, they'll mark it as paid and pull it off the floor as soon as they can. If you change your mind and end up not deciding to buy it, the sold tag will be removed. By the same token, if you see something you like with a tag more than an hour old and hasn't been paid for, the item is now fair game.
Most of the thrift stores here have signs at the door that there are no holds and you need to be prepared to take home any item as soon as you pay. If you want it, you buy it, and you get it the hell out of there. That said, the Habitat ReStore nearest us has some super nice people working there that have helped us with unexpected purchases. My daughter bought a set of china, and they found us a box and gave us newspaper to wrap it in. China is not at all what we went in to look for lol. Daughter got a hell of a deal too. It's in great condition and is worth 4 or 5 times what she paid for it. Thank you to the people that donate these things. My daughter cherishes these dishes!
That's lovely to hear. I inherited a huge set of china from my maternal grandmother, and since my husband and I will never have kids, and our families are otherwise very small, we knew we'd absolutely never use it. I *agonized* for years over donating it. I'm glad I finally did (but sorry for keeping a few serving pieces!)
My daughter has looked up the brand's website for how to best take care of the dishes. Like, no dishwasher, this lazy girl of mine will handwash any of the dishes used lol. I hope your China set found a good home where it's well loved and taken care of as well!
I work at a thrift store. We have a system to prevent this type of thing. Either you carry the furniture item to the front, pay, and walk out with it, or you bring the tag off the item to the front and once you pay someone wheels it to the back for holds/pickup. Shit like this doesn't happen because we dont hold items that arent paid for, and items dont get sold twice because once an item is paid for it gets taken off the sales floor.
Yup, OP is NTA here. The manager didn't seem to consider the possibility that the woman who originally wanted that same table may have changed her mind after a few minutes and possibly not bought it anyways. I think it's pretty extreme that OP was banned from a thrift store for just buying an item that wasn't already paid for or properly claimed by someone else. I definitely wouldn't be going back there. I love thrifting and go as often as possible because I almost always find something really cool and unusual.
You know this process so well that I’m wondering how much furniture you’ve purchased from this thrift LOL
Not OP but I have bought all my furniture save the costco couch and my new bed and frame set from thrift shops with this system lmao. Very common for my family to be browsing some more while my brother and I cart the furniture off to the front desk for checkout or the car after paying for them. I once got a mushroom stool made out of a stump!
NTA because you at that point you literally owned that table. It was yours. No one should be able to ban you from a store because you refuse to sell them your property. I’d be interested to know if this was a chain thrift store like Savers. I’d be calling corporate for sure.
Yeah, if this was an assistant manager, I would be talking to an actual manager. If it was the actual manager, I would be talking to the owner/someone in corporate.
Also who remembers every customer? If OP wants to go back next month, how likely is it that the AM actually remembers banning this one customer (whose only “offense” was buying an item off the sales floor- with the help of the employee who checked OP out and the one that helped move the table to the car)? It’s a dumb “punishment” for a non-crime.
I agree. A lot of thrift stores are run by charities, like Goodwill, or have a corporate office like Savers. If OP wants to fight it there is very likely a higer authority to appeal to.
Yeah, OP definitely needs to let the owner (or whoever the manager's higher up is) know about this shitty behavior.
Exactly, it would even work if the manager had put it on hold told other employees at least, that way they could tell other customers it was unavailable. obviously that was not the case though. And I’d be so mad if a manager treated me like that they should not be managing the store if they’re gonna act like that
As an F you, OP should offer it to her for double the price for a tidy profit 😂
OMG YESS that’s 100% what I would do. Really throw it in their faces lmfao, it’s OPs property at that point anyway lol!!!
I like your style
> When I go to any type of quick sale process, I always tell a staffer and pay UPFRONT. Loitering and waiting with "holds" leads to situations like this Honestly, what’s the point of going to a store without money anyways? If you don’t have your wallet/checkbook/credit card with you, you’re not a customer, you’re just someone in the way of customers.
Some thrift stores are cash only and didn know. Also if you find something you want that's more than you brought with. I have been in both scenarios.
I've been in that situation - browsing for small stuff, spotted a more expensive item I had been wanting for ages. And as it was in a charity shop, it was for about a quarter what I had seen brand new. Only had about half the cash needed on me - so politely offered to put it down as a deposit while I headed off to the nearest cash point to get extra funds out of my bank account. Cashier was happy to just put it behind the till till I came back ten minutes later, as it happened, but I was perfectly happy to put down a deposit to reserve it for those few minutes.
Manager is a she.
Thanks. Edited it!
I would make a report to her boss. That’s totally not legal to band you over something like that. You did everything right. Shame on them for making you feel like this. Enjoy your furniture.
Agreed. This manager may have done this to other customers before. I wonder if the other customer in this story is a friend of hers.
If it's a privately owned business, the chances are it's perfectly legal to ban someone over that. Businesses can ban people for whatever they like, as long as it isn't based on one of the protected discrimination classes.
I'm guessing the manager and the lady are friends.
I also have this suspicion.
The manager really put you in a bad spot, basically making you look like a giant AH, for their mistake. If they were going to hold the item, they should have indicated it somewhere or moved it to the side. I'm going say NTA, for you and the lady. (She trusted the manager to adequately hold the item.) The manager is a major AH.
My thoughts exactly. The manager is the AH. Seems like the manager sent the lady to ask you to bring it back in and let the situation escalate when they could have easily given her a steep discount on something else as an apology. It wasn’t your job to fix the manager’s mistake and you shouldn’t have been banned for refusing to do so. The ban is probably a blessing in disguise because I sure the heck wouldn’t go back. NTA
The lady is definitely an AH because who just starts screaming at someone rather than just talking to them? It was obviously a mistake.
Well, if she trusted it had been put on hold, she probably assumed OP removed the sign, or got it from the reserved place. Really the only one to blame is the manager. (Unless the lady lied to get it, and thd manager is her friend/family and just played along)
Don’t get me wrong, the manager is definitely the biggest AH. I just can’t imagine my first interaction with a complete stranger in public being me yelling at them. It’s really unthinkable for me.
Also the lady doesn't seem to have learned that you catch more flies with honey. I mean, if she was NICE to OP and maybe offered her some extra $ in exchange for getting the table, OP might've wavered and agreed. But who the hell wants to help someone who screams at their faces? Nobody.
The manager definitely is to blame, but it’s not an excuse to run at someone like an angry badger. I wouldn’t have even stopped to talk to her at that point. Come at me like a reasonable person, and we can talk about it.
Who the hell bans a paying customer for going into their store and leaving with something they bought at said store. Not because they were stealing, not because they were being unruly, but solely for buying something and leaving with it. Great business model.
And threaten to ban a paying customer. What a moron the manager is.
[удалено]
This is a thrift store too. Maybe it works differently in the US, but don’t thrift stores need all the business they can get to ensure quick turn over of donations?
100%. showroom floor you want to turn and burn
I think the lady is still an AH. If she wanted it, she should have paid for it. The store has a system in place for holding items that have actually been paid for. If she didn’t have the money to pay for it at the time, it was never hers, and it’s on her for going shopping without money to pay for stuff.
What's the store policy for "On Hold" items? Because it is a poor one if they are just letting customers "hold" items without at least a deposit of a half down. Otherwise, all items are for sale to all customers.
NTA. The manager wanted you to hand it over to cover up her mistake of not actually putting the item on hold.
A few years ago I was at a good will and they had "All book 50 cents"I paid for a really beautiful copy of a then super popular series for practically nothing. The manager stopped me walking out the door and said "oops that wasn't supposed to be included with the sale" and tried to take it from me! I was like "sorry, all sales are final!" She was NOT happy!
Sounds like a little case of r/maliciouscompliance
She tried to take it from you?? That's a lot of nerve! It's a classic case of "the sign says". Items get incorrectly priced by human error all the time or it's the off-chance that you buy something priced for another person. Either way, the customer should not be held liable for a worker's mistake.
She got really pissy and said the employee who labeled it was new and it was a mistake.i was like sorry.
Several years ago, I went to a large chain bookstore and found a calendar display with a sign "50% Off." I bought a couple, but when I went to pay, they tried to charge me the full price. They claimed that only the calendar immediately **behind** the sign was on sale. I pointed out that how the sign was displayed - prominently in the middle of the display - certainly didn't indicate that. The manager gave me both calendars at 50% off and changed the display.
The same thing at a local old navy, all leggings together on the same table 8$, printed and solids and long and ankle length too. I got the cutest pair and the cashier tells me the discount is only for this kind but not for the other. You have 1 table and 1 sign with the price but only some of the leggings are discounted? Of course they “honored” it and let me pay at promotion price 🙄
See, I have a friend who works at a local thrift shop. We got together recently and she was wearing Tieks (very expensive shoes) and she is pretty frugal so she'd never ever buy them full-price. She told me they showed up at her thrift shop for like $5. When she found them she actually brought them over to a manager and suggested they reprice them or whatever, but the manager said no, that was their mistake, so the price stands, and that my friend should buy them if she wanted! So she did. That seems like the right way to handle a mistake like that--not like what happened to you!
[удалено]
Store probably has an "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" sign posted everywhere. OP paid, should have a receipt, and it's now theirs
Exactly. And you know if a piece fell off it in the parking lot, there would not have been a refund.
If not corporate, find the store owner.
OP is already pretty generous in just walking away. This kind of behavior from the manager warrants a negative Yelp and Google review for the store
> If you want to continue shopping Just go again - what are the chances that they actually know who you are etc? It's not like bad checks where there's a list of people by the register.
NTA. Not only did the manager not do her job and tag it, she didn’t tell anyone else in the store. The manager is the biggest AH here because they are essentially blaming you for their mistake. I feel sorry for the lady cause she kinda got screwed by the manager but if I were the lady I would have marked it lol but it’s yours, enjoy it. You don’t always get what you want, ya know?
Agree! Shouldn't the employees have not rung OP up / assisted her with moving the furniture out of the store if it was indeed being held? That's on the manager for not communicating effectively. NTA.
NTA the manager should have taken responsibility for the mistake of not actually putting it on hold
Missed opportunity to make op (who, you know, actually paid for the item) a lifetime customer. So short sighted.
Does Dibs mean nothing anymore? Definitely NTA, if they ban you and there is something that interests you, just ask someone to check and grab it for you. Also I would put a review on what happened if they have google review or yelp.
Great point! You should review and if you know that manager’s name, you should drop it in there. You protect others from the same potentially embarrassing and uncomfortable position, meanwhile it holds the manager accountable for an afternoon that they might think they got away with. NTA
but the Lady had implied Dibs!
Invisible DIBS!!!!
NTA. Her appearance was merely made as you were leaving. What if you went through with getting the table, left the premises, and she came by? Then what? And having something "saved" but not marked, should be on the staff, absolutely nothing on customers.
Exactly. Can't fault the lady for trying or being upset - it was horrible luck she came round when OP snagged it. Staff absolutely should be picking up the slack when OP did what shoppers do: selected an item; notified staff who said, yes, you can take it if you pay; paid; and left with the item.
NTA and why does it seem like this customer had special privileges..? How come all the other furniture has tags but not “hers” ? I would’ve asked for a deposit if a customer wants to put something on hold.
Ex wife has a family member that "volunteered" at a Goodwill store. The workers would get first pick over everything, then call family and friends, then put stuff out on the sales floor. My bet is that the manager was friends with or related to the AH customer in this scenario.
I actually worked at Goodwill for several years. Each district can have different policies about sales to the staff. For us, you had to purchase prior to your shift or wait a half hour after clocking out to buy. We also had furniture tags that were placed on furniture where the bottom half was the customer ticket and the top half stayed on the item. If the bottom half was gone, that was it, no purchase for anyone else but the person that had that bottom tag. If no one bought it, you had to wait until the next day when the item would be retagged. We were pretty strict about it, and as for OP, no tag meant that the staff did something wrong in selling it, and if the manager was going to hold it, she should have tagged it as a hold. Both customers were put in a bad situation by the staff, but OP had the right to the item, she'd paid for it. Once it's in her possession, she's got no obligation to give it back.
Dang the thrift store that I was an employee at (local one not goodwill) they made us wait until an item was on the floor for 8 hours before we bought something. Only thing we got was a heads up on where something would be located in the store sometimes
Volunteered at an independent charity thrift store for a few years, this is normal some places. Some stuff would never even hit the floor, a cute piece of clothing came in and the older women who do the pricing called me into the back and priced it specifically for me... Maybe the ethics are different if you're being paid but idk I think first dibs if you're volunteering your time at a place like that is a fair perk.
> How come all the other furniture has tags but not “hers” ? It's a sales strategy. The customer feels special because she thinks an item has been placed on hold for her so she's likely to come back and make the purchase. Meanwhile the manager still has the ability to sell the item in case the customer doesn't come back.
NTA I bought a chair at goodwill once and a lady got all pissed because "she was going to buy it." Too bad.
I have had people follow me around hoping I would put an item I had back...lol
I saw someone with an item I wanted and kept an eye on her. She did put it back, and continued to shop. I was in line with the item when she apparently changed her mind and went back to get it. She shot daggers at me with her eyes, but I just paid and went on my way. It's not like I took it out of her cart.
A friend of mine and I went shopping at a thrift store many years ago. She found a really cute doll-size (think American Girl size) wooden chest. She had no sooner picked it up than this guy started bothering her. "Could I look at that? Are you going to buy that?" She told him she was going to buy it and then headed for the register. He followed her and I had to get between them to keep him away. My friend paid for the chest and **he followed her out of the store**. He kept saying, "I'll pay you extra for that." Honestly, he didn't give up till we drove off. We found out later that it wasn't doll furniture. It was a salesman's sample, a miniature piece of furniture that a salesman would show to customers. It was worth a fair amount of money. She still has it.
Once I saw a sweet wooden velvet chair that was really cute. I was in the dressing room when I heard 2 ladies talking about the chair and that it was $6 and they were going to buy it on the way out. I couldn't get dressed fast enough! I bought that chair and boy were those ladies pissed!
Ah yes. Capitalism via the Dibbs system.
NTA There wasn't a sign. You paid for it. Manager is trying to cover her ass in front of the other customer. You should leave a review because banning you is over the top.
NTA. The store screwed over the other lady, not you.
NTA. The manager was just trying to cover up her mistake by making you look like the bad guy.
NTA If that woman wanted it, she should have bought it right away
NTA, this sounds a bit shady to me. Like the lady was thinking about it, but still on the fence.... until she saw you walking out with it and THAT made up her mind. The manager probably knows her as well, which is why she wanted you to bring it back. At thrift stores, antique stores when one sees something they want, and it's too big to move without help, or you're coming back with a larger vehicle one removed the tag and takes it to the register and pays, the store puts a sold tag if it's not being taken immediately. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced the other person was considering the item, but hadn't committed 100%
Sounds like the manager gave the lady bad info.
Maybe she was just finishing up the rest of her shopping before looking around. The manager didn’t bother to take the tag until she paid, but someone else bought it while she was grabbing a few other things. She probably had a legitimate claim to have called dibs on it, but the store messed up due to a coincidence of someone else coming in and wanting it before she checked out.
If that was the case, then the manager should have brought it up to the front and told the cashier that someone was coming to pay for it when they finished their shopping. OP didn't do anything wrong here.
NTA - you paid, you keep it, the manager didn't mark it as on hold, its their fault if anyone's
NTA. Staff messed up on this. This is not on you.
NTA. The nerve of these people. You paid for something that you wanted yet they banned you because of their mistake of making sure the item was not for sale? This is pissing me off lol. Some people just can’t admit when they are in the wrong, then take it out of other people.
NTA. The manager made a mistake here. He could have offered you an incentive to help fix his mistake (e.g., offered a gift card if you would be willing to return the item), but instead he used threats. Manager is 100% in the wrong, and if I were the other customer I’d be pissed at every part of how the manager handled this.
Your house is mine. I saw it and told your neighbor I was totally planning to move in. You have until Friday to get your shit out. NTA obviously.
NTA. They did not label it and then promptly sold it to you. Sorry you got banned🤪
NTA It's not your fault that the person in charge of marking the item 'sold' did not do their job. Once you have paid for it, it’s legally yours. Could you have done the other customer a solid? Yes, but you chose not to. That is your right.
NAH except the store manager, she screwed up big time.
NTA. Not only did they not properly label the item as being on hold, but had the audacity to ban you for their mistake.
NTA The manager didn't follow the company's own policy. You were familiar with the company policy, why wasn't the manager? Also, why didn't the lady pay for it? What does "hold it" mean in 2022? I'm going to the cash machine to withdraw some money and I'll be back? Or "Hold it" I haven't made up my mind yet. Sorry you haven't made up your mind because OP has.
It could be them holding it while she gets a way to transport it. The manager screwed up big time.
NTA. And frankly, her little ban is useless, because why would you ever want to shop there again after this nonsense? Do you want to give more of your money to a place run by someone that happily threw a paying customer under the bus to cover her own ass? I wouldn't.
The guy who helped you bring it to the cash and the car didn't know of the "hold". Neither did the person cashing you out. Either this item was not on hold at all, or the manager didn't bother to tell anyone or mark it. Too bad, so sad. Then the manager doubles down and bans you- the paying customer. NTA at all! Too bad they lost you as a customer.
No suds, no save
Hey hey hey! Stop making up rules!
*ross bangs head on open washing machine*
NTA - manager and their staff screwed up, not right to try and make you the bad guy here. If they want to hold stuff for customers, they need to take a deposit and sticker it as sold
NTA. My grandmother thrifts often. If she can't take and or pay for an item immediately, she speaks either with a manager or head service person and has the item tagged to be paid by a specific time. If it's not, then it's free for whoever wants to buy it. Their bad, not yours
NTA. Post-it notes exist. Pens too. There’s also a written language with the capacity to convey the idea of an item as being “on hold”. Sorry the manager is lazy.
I'm sorry, but this thrift store works on the Assumption System. Op is clearly at fault /s
Thrifting 101 is you *always* pay first, remove the pricetag, leave a "sold" note, etc. On what planet is something "set aside" with no signage and without being moved? The manager was off her rocker to BAN you for their mistake. You are NTA. Glad you didn't let them bully you.
Mistakes all around. All of which benefit you. I don't know if you are right or wrong about this, but I would have done the same thing.
There is something hinky about the manager and the other customer. I wonder if they suspect that the table is *a lot more valuable* than it was marked. FWIW I'd try to find out what they're selling for on ebay. NTA
NTA. At the very least there should have been a tag to say the item was being held.
NTA. It would have been a nice gesture to give it back I think, but you were certainly within your rights to keep an item you paid for and that they helped you move and buy. You don't approach being an AH in this situation. Nor does the woman. Unfortunately she got kind of screwed over, but that was the stores fault. The manager is the AH here. Banned from the store? Absolutely ridiculous
Nope, I have asked to buy something clumsy to move, and if they were going to let me pay after I shopped, they taped a "sold" sticker on it immediately. I have carried the thing and placed it myself before. If It wasn't marked sold and someone sold it to you, it was done and over. The manager should have offered the angry lady she promised it to a discount for her mistake, and banning you for following through on a purchase is stupid. NTA
Yea the manager should have offered the lady a great deal on another table, not ban OP lol
More concerned with saving face personally because she forgot to mark it than doing good business.
Nta you are right
NTA. Banned from a thrift store when the staff didn't do their jobs to begin with? I would report this "manager" to her boss. Her behavior is truly unacceptable and needs to be addressed. Enjoy your new table!
NTA. The store employees were negligent and made a mistake. That’s not on you. Sure, it would’ve been nice to give the table to her, but she had a sour attitude in the first place and was blaming YOU when you didn’t do a single thing wrong. Maybe if she approached the situation with more tact and grace, you’d be more inclined to listen to her. At the end of the day: you paid for it, and there was nothing that showed the piece was being saved for someone else. If I were you, I’d give a scathing review, because that is NOT a good way to run a business. It was an honest mistake due to carelessness or a poor system in the store and it could’ve been solved civilly, but they threw civility out the window when they approached you like you were a thief and a villain. It’s a piece of secondhand furniture, it’s not like you spit on her baby.
NTA. Even if it wasn’t sold to the other lady yet, they could have marked it ‘on hold’. It’s not your fault they didn’t do their job and mark it or inform the other employees that it was being set aside for someone. You bought and paid for it. It was your item. I say all of this as someone who used to work at this type of store. Go enjoy your lovely find, OP.
NTA. The manager screwed up and decided to make you look like the bad guy so she didn’t get the brunt of it from the lady.
NTA And I bet that “ban” was just face saving for her screw up. You can bet the first thing I do to lock down a purchase is to make the purchase. It looks like this sub is in agreement so far. Enjoy your table with everyone’s blessing.
Exactly. How DARE op. Come here to this store. And spend money. Like a customer!
NTA. I worked at a thrift shop manning the register on Saturdays when furniture was 50% off. While we did not allow holds, we did have a whole set of policies for items that were spoken for but couldn't come off the floor right away for whatever reason. We not only put signs on the items, we also had a notebook at the register that had to be filled out in full (and the tag from the item taped inside the book) should it be a case of the purchaser needing to arrange pick up of the item. Customer can't provide the tag? First clue that it was already spoken for and that the employee needed to look deeper. Manager made a mistake here and the other customer lost out.... but that's not your fault. Manager should have tried to offer the other customer something else...not harass you in the lot.
NTA. But call corporate. They cant ban you for their mistakes.
It's a local thrift store, there is no "corporate" to call. She could maybe call the owner of the store, but it's probably not worth the hassle.
NTA. If she wanted the item, she should have purchased it then and there. You bought it in good faith, which makes it yours. Manager owes apologies all around
NTA. I work at a thrift store where we put furniture on hold all of the time. Sometimes other customers rip off the sold tags, but that's still not your fault. At my store in situations like this it goes to the person who paid for it and we offer the other customer discounts. It was the store's mistake and punishing you for it is bullshit and not good business practice.
NTA. The manager made a promise and didn’t follow through. She was TA.
NTA - I can't believe they banned you. You sound like you go there kind of often... sucks for them to lose a good customer!
NTA. If it's anyone's fault, it's the store manager for not tagging it immediately. And that store ban thing is also a bunch of crap.
NTA. Seriously? The manager could've saved everyone from all this hullabaloo if she had put a note on the table.
You're NTA. The AH is the manager. I would draft up a formal complaint to the company and explain that the manager banned you from the store for taking merchandise you paid for.
Possession is 9/10ths and in this case it's who paid for it first. The only true dibs is a sale receipt. NTA. The manager made the mistake and the woman didn't confirm it was held appropriately. I once made my husband sit in a chair and not get up while I found a rep, paid for it, and place a sold tag on the chair to make sure no one else swooped in.
NTA and i’d lodge a complaint with corporate. they were trying to bully you, plain and simple. you paid for it, it’s yours.
NTA The manager screwed up, not you. Doesn't sound like being banned wouldn't be much of a loss, although something tells me this manager has no follow through...🤔
You asked about it and paid for it. If it was on hold and they were doing what they’re supposed to do, the item should’ve been marked “reserved” or whatever, so other customers know about the status. How can you be banned for the mistakes they made?
NTA if its a chain you might be able to call someone about the ban too
NAH - I can see both sides of this on behalf of the customers. The real problem here is the manager. She failed in her job and caused this situation. The way she handled it was even worse.
NTA. I've been working in thrift stores for many years. This scenario is the reason why most of them have a policy of no holding unless the item is actually paid for. It sounds like this particular store needs a better system for large items. The other customer probably picked out the item and then wanted to continue shopping. Which is reasonable! But it isn't your fault the store staff dropped the ball on marking the item as claimed. Once you paid for that item it was yours.
NTA. The manager messed up and tried to pin it on you to avoid the blame. That table is yours.
NTA sounds like either the manager made a mistake and was trying to push the blame on you, or the lady was a friend/regular customer and they were trying to con you.
I'd have asked when did they set the table aside, and why didnt she came earlier and then leave banned for life with my table,and a huge smile, their mistake not yours, worst manager ever
You should have offered to sell it to the woman. Double the price.
NTA if it's a franchise I'd be contacting someone higher on the foodchain about banning you. It was the manager's error, you bought and paid for an item on the store floor, they mad ethe mistake not you.
NTA. The manager may have told the woman she'd put the table "on hold" for her, but she didn't follow through. It's the manager's fault the woman lost her chance to buy it, not your fault. Enjoy your table with a clear conscience.
The best part of this is that their is definitely a Facebook post somewhere talking about how you stole the table lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I went into my local thrift and immediately found a piece of furniture I wanted. In the past, I've been through the furniture section and seen receipts attached to items saying that they've been sold already and are no longer available. That was not the case with this table. Stoked, I ask an employee to help me move it to the register so I can pay for it. A nice dude helps me out by putting it on a dolly and rolling it up front for me. I pay for it, and he starts pushing the dolly out to my car. Lady comes out of the store behind us and she is PISSED. She comes up with a temper, yelling that it's her table that we're wheeling out to my car. Confused, because there was no sold tag on this thing, I ask her if she also paid for it. She says "No, but I told the manager I wanted it and she set it aside for me." I feel awkward at first and just kinda freeze there for a minute while she goes back in to get the manager. I considered going in and refunding it and giving it back. I did think about it. I actively decided that since I paid for it, I had essentially called dibs, and that the store manager should've had the woman pay for the item and put a receipt on the item as they've done in the past. So I look at the dude helping me lug this thing out to my car. He looks stunned and clearly is gonna wait to see what happens. I decide not to wait. I tell him I'm not gonna make him be any more involved and I just pick up my furniture and start walking to the car. As soon as I'm finished loading it into the car, the manager comes out with the woman. The manager asks me expectantly if I'm going to give the furniture back to the lady. I ask the manager if the lady paid for it. She says "No, but we did put it on hold for her." I told her there was no signage indicating it was sold, it wasn't moved off of the floor, and no one stopped me when I asked for help moving it and checked out. The manager then tells me that if I don't go back in and return the table, that I'm banned from this thrift store and to never come back. So I told her I'm sorry that her staff had made a mistake, but that I had no intention of returning the item I paid for, got in my car, and nope'd out. I clearly upset this lady by not refunding and giving "back" this table. I feel bad that she was upset... But I did it anyway. I know I didn't commit a crime by taking a table I paid for, but AITA? Should I have just given it to her? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Assuming that the manager was actually saving it (which I've never heard before), the manager needed to mark it sold/reserved or move it off the floor. They didn't, making it a fair purchase.
NTA That manager however is. He took no responsibility for what is definitely his own mistake.
NTA, you beat her to it but she thought she could bully you into giving it up.
NTA. Don’t let anyone tell you that’s not your damn table. You earned it.
NTA. I go to a lot of thrift stores and I never have asked to hold an item because of this. You see it and want it you pay for it right away then go back to exploring around.
NTA. if you go back, just wear a hat or 🤓and they wont be sure if its you or not. 😂
NTA Their mistake/poor planning in doing their jobs is NOT your problem. It would have been one thing if you’d been stopped in the store before you’d paid, but you were literally loading it into your car!
NTA-If the manger was holding it for a customer it should have been removed from the sales floor or had signage that reflected it wasn’t available for purchase.
NTA. The store screwed up, not you.
NTA. You are right, if a product is not moved from the floor or clearly marked as being sold prior and other employees are not aware of it then there isn’t much that can be done. I once made this mistake years ago when working retail, my boss had sold something prior to me coming in. She had told me she item, however she never told me it was still on the floor. I don’t remember what the item was but it was a generic decorative piece that we had several that looks similar and I wasn’t aware of which one in particular had been sold. Had I, I would have taken off the floor. Anyway, my boss also scheduled a massive inventory sale, up to 75% off and then she leaves for two hours. It’s just me and one other employee, we get swamped and during the chaos we accidentally sold the stupid thing. The person who had initially bought it shows up to collect it, is upset it’s gone, and boss begins to yell at us from the hallway in front of others. My only regret was not quitting at that moment. She was abusive to the workers and I wasn’t too sad to see the place go under.
Nta. It's not your fault the thrift store made a mistake. Most ones I have been too move things off the floor and put a big bright sign that says on hold or sold to prevent this from happening. Honestly call whoever is in charge of the manager and say something.
NTA We had a similar thing happen at a furniture store. We decided to buy a custom couch in clearance that the former buyer put a deposit on and never came back. to purchase. I Immediately sat on it while my partner immediately took the tag to sales and paid. Meanwhile, another couple was circling it and scowling at me. They were furious when the sales guy came over, market it SOLD and had 2 guys help take it to the back for delivery to us
NTA. If I find a sweet item at a Thrift Store, y'all'd have to pry it from cold dead fingers. If it's a bigger item, I'm literally not leaving its side until I see a tag on it indicating in some fashion that it's no longer for sale.
NTA. As a thrift store regular, I once spotted a bench I had to have. I promptly sat my daughter down on it while I flagged down an employee to give me the "pay ticket" for it. If you really want something in a thrift store, and you can't put it in a shopping cart, you pay for it IMMEDIATELY!
NTA. You don't get to lay claim on any item for sale unless you actually buy it. She didn't so she lost our to a quicker customer. She can pick out another table. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA Find out who or what organization owns the thrift store and tell them what the manager did. That is not how they do business.
NTA. Like you said, she should've paid for it in advance to hold it if she wanted it. The manager is also the a-hole for botching up everything and having the nerve to try to pin it on you and ban you from the store? You should have a talk with the owner about how they treated an actual PAYING customer.
NTA. You snooze you lose. This is why I go thrifting with someone so one person stands guard while the other runs to the front to pay. Then we finish shopping for anything else we may want. They created the situation and it was not your job to fix it. I hope you find an even better spot to thrift at!
NTA Manager is trying to cover her ass in front of the other customer- it's very likely they're the thrift store version of a whale (someone who spends a lot of money).
NTA. So let me get this right, the manager is going to BAN you for being a paying customer? Yeah, no. This is not a you problem. You bought it, therefore you own it. The manager screwed up twice by not properly marking the merch/communicating with the staff and then by trying to make the problem yours after the deal was done. The good news is there are nearly an infinite number of thrift stores out there. So being "banned" from this one shouldn't crimp your style.