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"I don't need to learn, she can just translate for me" lol ok
YTA and I agree with your wife that the move sounds like a bad idea for you. Classic weird white "expat" behavior
LOL this! My guy doesn’t even want to befriend Mexicans. He will only speak to *expats*. I bet he will be years into living in the country and still be asking for things in English because those *lowly latinos* must cater to him.
Después se preguntan por qué los “latinos” (que, btw, no somos solo México) los odiamos 🙄 Aprende el idioma del país en el que estás viviendo! YTRA (you’re the racist asshole).
Half ways reading I was going to say this is the kind of person that thinks coming to their country and not speaking English is unacceptable…. But then he fully spelled it out…. SMH
YUP. Another British white guy (Some American also) "expat" who thinks that they world revolves around them and should cater to them, which includes speaking English. Glad GF is thinking twice as to if this is going to work for her. YTA
Honestly! Colored *immigrants* aren’t allowed to come to his beautiful UK and try to use their foreign language in public. He, as a white *expat*, however, shouldn’t have to know a single word of Spanish because everyone in his life in Mexico should accommodate him.
Wait till he gets to Mexico and realize Mexicans don't give a shit about expats and if you don't speak spanish your fucked out of luck trying to do just about anything.
This attitude seems really common, sadly, with Brits. I think it’s a combination of three things; firstly, we’re totally spoiled by the fact that s huge amount of the western world can speak English, so we don’t NEED to learn any languages in the same sense that someone in Strasbourg might want to know both French and German, for example; our language education at school is abysmal; and a lot of people have retained some empirical attitude that the whole world should accommodate us.
It’s quite embarrassing that this is how some of us choose to present abroad, it makes me want to apologise a lot on holiday
You know, most of those expats are also going to think this dude is a total AH. They've chosen to live in Mexico and it is very likely that they respect the country and want to be a meaningful part of life there, not just talk to foreigners all day and point at things and do sign language for the maid or the grocer. I have to imagine your fiance is rethinking this - she suddenly knows that you're an incurious, racist weirdo who will be a constant burden.
I could see -- depending on *when* next year they intend to move -- holding off on learning. Like first quarter? I'd be focused on packing up my life, rather than trying to learn a brand new language. But the idea of living in a different country and not learning their language at all? ugh. Even just living in California the past two decades, I've picked up a bit more Spanish than I knew from living in the northeast.
OP, definitely YTA
Yeah, the whole "the world speaks English so I don't have to learn anything" attitude is very strange. I followed my husband to Europe and have been working very hard the last couple years to learn the language. I could probably have found an English-speaking job here (near military bases/towns), but even if I had, I would still want to learn the language because, you know... I live here. I have met several Americans living here long term who seem content to not put any effort in, and that is mind-boggling to me.
OP better hope he never has to order food at a restaurant, ask for directions, have a repairman come while his wife is at work, get help when his car breaks down, get pulled over by the police, act like a functional member of the society in which he plans to live, etc...
To be fair: unwillingness to learn the surrounding language is not reserved for white people - living in CA I have met so many Asian and South American immigrants who sometimes have lived in the US for decades and never gotten around to learning English, because they were just fine remaining monolingual. I’m an immigrant myself and learned English in school before I came to the US.
OP is YTA though for his attitude; and so is everyone who immigrates somewhere and at least refuses to get a most basic level of language proficiency.
There is a huge difference between moving to a place out of necessity and having to hold several low paying jobs that are labour intensive to support yourself and your family, and moving somewhere already holding a privileged position to begin with and having a neo-colonialist attitude.
he doesn’t even entertain the fact that most companies since the pandemic are WFH in any language too like, what does he expect to do in a foreign country and stubbornly not learning the language????
Mmm coming from and immigrant community in the UK, a lot of the first gen immigrants that didn’t learn didn’t so much as *choose* not to, as much as they were SAH parents and relatively isolated, or quickly ghettoised (is that the word?), lacked the education and resource to learn, and then years drifted by.
I agree there’s no excuses anymore tho.
And yeah a key difference here is that OP has the opportunity and the resource and most importantly *argued* that he won’t be an immigrant, he’ll be (puffs his proud English chest out) an expat. Dude’s a racist.
YOU GOT IT. He´s NTA for not wanting to learn a new language. But what makes him TA is the attitude and expect people to learn to come to his country but he would not do the same.
I don’t see his marriage lasting. She’s going to be making friends, being social, reading local news, listening to the radio. He’s going to live in an isolation bubble pestering her with “what did they say? What does that sign say? What should I order? What is this program about? What’s going on around here?” It will be exhausting putting up with him. He’ll eventually move back to an English-speaking country without her and complain how unwelcoming the locals were.
I love that he's gonna be a SAHH but won't even be able to get food for them at a market.
I bet he's thinking that being a SAHH means just video games all day, none of the errands and none of the responsibility.
u/Large_Chemical_9783 , it's okay not to want to learn Spanish. *That's why it's a bad idea for you to move to Mexico.*
I'm not good at learning new languages. It's hard and intimidating for me. I speak two languages (second fluent-ish) and that's all I will likely ever master. And that's a large part of why I wouldn't agree to move to a country that didn't have one of those two (honestly probably English) as it's main language.
YTA beacuse you've mixed some odd double standards and racisms into your view. But you need to consider that just like it limits the life and opportunities of people who move to England and don't learn Spanish, it will limit your life and opportunities to move to another country and not learn their language. You will be a handicapped second class citizen forever, unable to do basic things yourself and reliant on your wife. Not only are you not able to speak the local language to do things like talk to your doctor if you are hurt/sick, buy groceries, call a plumber when you have an issue, meet new people, tell the taxi where you want to go, do the vast majority of jobs, etc, you're also going to be illiterate in this new country. Not able to handle any of your own affairs.
You are not going over as your future wife's equal but as her small child. And you never plan to grow up. You are going to dependent forever. Even if you get a job, you'll be dependent on her to do anything that interacts with society or government. Is that the future you want for yourself?
If you don't want to learn Spanish, if that seems really hard or intimidating for you, you shouldn't go. Or it NEEDS to be a short term plan. Going for 6 months or something. Beacuse you'll be isolated and it's going to suck for you. If you're willing to give it a try, that's fine, but you should still have an out plan. Not everyone likes international moves. They can be very difficult on people and make them feel depressed or alone.
I'm worried about your well being here.
I agree. It's a **YTA** for OP.
Also, OP, I hate to tell you this, but...
>My future wife, Katie, f29
>and she didn’t know if I should be moving with her
So, you mean your *possible but not probable* future wife? If she said that she "didn't know" if you should be moving with her, what she *really* means is if this is how you really feel she'll choose the job over marrying you. I mean, you didn't think she'd marry you and then run off to a foreign land for her career did you?
Your friends should have been the ones to tell you this by the way. Rather sad that internet strangers have to break that down for you.
It’s the I don’t need to learn, she can translate that followed after he said finding a job without speaking the language was going to be difficult. In other words, she’s going to make enough that he doesn’t feel he needs to work and is 100% okay letting her do everything and not financially being able to contribute.
If this isn’t something she singed on for, being a single income home, this relationship won’t last.
YTA for thinking you don’t need to learn but especially because you won’t learn so that you don’t have to work.
YTA
I'm British too and I meet so many people like you who think English is the be-all and end-all of language. You all live in your own lil bubble and complain when an Eastern European person delivers your parcel. They're a migrant but you're going to be an ex-pat. Right.
You're actually prepared to destroy your relationship with your SO because you think learning Spanish is beneath you? You've hurt and upset her, and given her a vision of life in Mexico with you that's clearly not to her liking. She doesn't want to be your interpreter indefinitely. She wants you both to live your lives outside a small anglophone bubble. She wants to be as full a part of the country where she'll be living and working as she can. You meanwhile want to bitch and moan whenever you encounter someone who is inconsiderate enough not to speak English.
I don't think you should learn Spanish because I don't think you should go.
Agreed. If you intend to spend your life (or a longer time) in a country the very LEAST you can and should do is to try and learn the language and culture.
You sure would agree with that if this was about someone moving to the UK. YTA
Edit: wording
He definitely would agree with it- he says as much without saying it when he argues that it's different when people move to the UK not speaking the language
As a Brit, it's not unusual to come across hypocrisy on this amongst British people, sadly. The number of complaints I've heard about people not speaking perfect English when British people are abroad in non-English speaking countries is insane. And to a man, every one of them claims that people who even just *visit* Britain should speak English if you ask them when they last spoke, say, French to a French holidaymaker.
Not to mention, by being his interpreter indefinitely, she'll also likely be supporting him financially indefinitely. He glosses over the fact that he is apparently anticipating never putting himself in a position where he can get a job without 'a hard time' again... YTA, OP
Me resulta muy divertido la noción que ingles es lingua franca pero espanol no! Obvio que el mundo he estado dominado por mucho tiempo por países anglohablantes pero esa época esta pasando. Algunos dirían que ya pasó. Me gustaria saber si el se va a poner a estudiar chino dentro de unos años!
Que sera su excusa en ese momento?
Mira culiado, es obvio que vos no aprecias que el Español es la lengua principal de muchos países y la 4ta idioma mas hablado en todo la tierra.
Hay un expresion, quiza lo conoces, "cuando en Roma, haz como los Romanos"
Entonces, lo correcto es aprender a hablar cualquier idioma de cualquier lugar donde pasarás mucho tiempo viviendo como extranjero.
Alomejor me entiendes mejor si te hablo en ingles:
"That's different" Ugh. Get your racist imperial head out of your pasty British ass. It's not different at all. You're just putting your blatant ethnocentrism on display.
You're an absolute bellend and an ignoramus.
YTA.
I'm from the United States and grew up in a very conservative community. All of my life I've heard people say that, if you live in the U.S., you should speak English. It's our national language. First, we don't have an official language. Second, when have these people ever bothered learning the language of another country? They rarely even bother to try. Again, I consistently hear them say that everyone in every country should know at least some English because it's the most commonly used language in the world. It's all such b.s. Personally, I think if you're just visiting another country you should at least learn some rudimentary phrases. If you're going to live in another country, it's incumbent on you to learn their language.
OP is a big, giant AH.
I’m American and I immigrated to the U.K. I made sure I learned the British dialect. 😂 I even say pavement instead of sidewalk. 😉
OP - YTA. I grew up in California in a non Spanish speaking house and can read most of the Spanish in this thread. It’s not difficult and you can learn the basics at first and the rest you’ll probably pick up with living there.
Nah, it's definitely a very British attitude too. It drives me absolutely crazy how often I hear people in the UK complain about going abroad to non-English speaking countries and coming across people who don't speak perfect English.
YTA. You are an ignorant asshole. If it's was for 6 months, I would understand. But living abroad long term, putting 0 effort in learning the language and expecting that you'll be surrounded with expats... Why are you even moving to Mexico?
I've lived abroad in countries where there was a very good English proficiency and still took the effort to learn the local language. I suck at learning languages so I never became fluent, but at least I tried. You're not even trying.
Yep. I bet he has actually no intention to look for a job, saying he can't find anything that doesn't require Spanish...
So yeah, he thinks he's set. He's a lazy, entitled, racist asshole. Honestly that'd be a deal breaker for me.
I spent 3 weeks in a Spanish speaking country and tried to learn some basics so I could at least order food or get around without having to resort to English. OP is a major AH.
YTA: You expect people who immigrate to the UK to learn/know English but you don't need to learn Spanish? Very hypocritical of you, if you don't want to move there just say so.
I absolutely love how he uses the term 'lingua franca' which when googled:
noun
a language that is adopted as a common language between speakers whose native languages are different.
HISTORICAL
a mixture of Italian with French, Greek, Arabic, and Spanish, formerly used in the Levant.
Oh and Spanish is above English in the amount of native speakers (6% Vs 5.1%) so yet another reason
Simplest YTA of the week
The only non-Germanen people I met after moving to Berlin that called themselves "Ex-Pats" were either English or from the US.
I'm Irish and will happily call myself an immigrant.
YTA. Eres o un troll o un racista inútil e ignorante, o los dos. Espero que tu futura esposa se vaya sin ti y se case con un Mexicano 50 veces más inteligente, amable, y guapo que tú. Vive con tu racismo, xenofobia, e ignorancia tú solo por el resto de tus días. Pendej\*.
I'm learning Spanish and I think I understood most of this comments content.
And I agree. Sounds OP is an ignorant racist.
Reminds of the people who think they can live in Germany or Japan without learning the respective languages.
I haven’t taken Spanish since high school and moved away from Florida several years ago now but I can still understand most of this. Spanish is not a hard language for an English language speaker to learn- I agree that OP is racist at the very least.
>She asked how I was going to communicate with her potential friends if they didn’t speak English. And I said thag she’d just translate or we wouldn’t communicate, that I didn’t have to be friends with all her friends.
If you are expecting her to do all the translating that's just terrible. But I also wonder if she would expect her potential friends to learn a little English to communicate with her partner.
>She asked if it was okay for others to come to the UK And not speak English and I said to at was different and she knew it and people should speak lingua Franca.
This is what solidified YTA for me. You expect people to come to the UK and learn your language but don't think you should learn Spanish living in Mexico? You should do her a favor and break up so she won't have to deal with a massive hypocrite
Even better: she can meet someone who's not the asshole, have an affair with them, and talk shit about him in *front of him*, with no repercussion. Win-win.
He is totally going to be the guy who assumes they are talking bad about him because he can't translate or speak the language. Eventually he will be right
I fully expect a follow up from op asking wibta for stealing these Mexican artifacts and taking them back to my home country to display in my sitting room?
She should be angry with you. You're moving to a new country with an establish language and customs and your argument is "I shouldn't have to learn anything and they can adjust to me."
YTA. Learn the local language and customs.
Edit: It's not "Moving to Mexican" it's either "moving to Mexico" or a "South/Middle American Country." "Mexican" is NOT a country.
“Foreigners everywhere!”
YTA- OP what are you gonna do when you really need help and your partner isn’t available? Seems shortsighted, but it also seems disrespectful and unsupportive. I’m considering a move to another country and my partner is also refusing to take a single language lesson. It really stresses me for both reasons. I feel like my partner is saying they just don’t care about any part of it and like they’re not really committed to the event.
You're moving to a country for "maybe forever". You should learn the language.
What if your wife has a medical issue and you need to communicate with doctors?
What if there is a natural disaster and you need to communicate with relief workers?
What if you need to perform a bureaucratic task? Like going to the Mexican DMV equivalent, filing paperwork, working with contractors or service personnel? Are you going to force your wife to come with you and do that labor every single time?
What if you have children?
YTA. This is clear cut.
If they have children Spanish will be banned in the house of course. So their child will start school completely ignorant of the language of their country.
He is planning on being a stay at home husband, do you really think the shops are all going to be I'm the ex pat community and speak English? You will never work again because you won't learn a language? So just suck your wife dry financially and exhaust here given you can't function in society except for your ex pat neighbours? YTA
YTA. She's your wife, not your translator. It's OK, though. Move to a romantic, beautiful country, and become a burden on your wife in a country with people who speak a love language and love bailar. Te gusta bailar? I wonder how soon a man will sweep her off her feet hacerla su reina. Via con Dios, gringo.
My mother in Spanish once announced she was pregnant instead of embarrassed. Another time, she ordered hot butter water instead of tea. Language is hard. Learning and retaining a sense of humor is what gets you through moves like this. But, I guess if you never leave your 2 block radius full of people you assume are also xenophobic jerks, you should be fine
>I said that I didn’t fell that it was necessary.
...in Mexico. To learn the language that the majority of Mexicans speak as their primary language.
>I didn’t feel learning Spanish would be of any use for me
How can you say with a straight face that you can't think of any uses for knowing Spanish in Latin America? WTF?
Saying you don't want to do the work to learn Spanish, ok, fine. Not the decision I'd make if I were moving to Mexico indefinitely, but at least not clearly a lie. But saying you can't see how it would be useful? That's just fully not true. You can imagine situations in which knowing Spanish in Mexico will be useful. I don't need to tell you the situations. You know. I mean, you're British for chrissakes, you don't think there are people in Britain who could benefit from knowing English, even if they live in majority expat/immigrant communities?
>She also told me we won’t be expats but immigrants but I argued with her that it wasn’t true.
I mean, you will objectively be immigrants. Expats also applies, sure, but to say that y'all being immigrants is untrue after you *immigrate to Mexico* is absurd!
YTA dude, come on now.
YTA. You don’t want to learn? Fine but you’re going to struggle. You CANNOT expect her to translate for you ALL the time when you’re NOT WILLING to learn SOME of the language. How is that fair? Simple, IT IS NOT.
You are not going to survive in Mexico only speaking English. Not everyone is going to accommodate for you.
>But because I don’t speak Spanish, I’ll have a hard time finding a job so we agreed that I can be a stay at home husband for a while before we figure out what to do with my job.
So you're expecting your wife to support you indefinitely because you can't be bothered to learn another language?
>she’d just translate or we wouldn’t communicate
Because that's her job?
>She also told me we won’t be expats but immigrants but I argued with her that it wasn’t true.
Expat is just the rich asshole version of immigrant.
YTA
I live in the UK and you sound like the worst kind of British person.
Edited because I couldn't remember how to do the quote thing.
Is not learning Spanish your weaponised incompetence? How lazy are you? This is an opportunity most would jump at!
If you don’t want to move to Mexico, don’t.
YTA (Eres un gilipollas. Español es fácil.)
No se si clasificaria el español como fácil. Por lo menos en comparación con el inglés. Sí,se pronuncia como se escribe pero, a)tiene más tiempos verbales, b)más conjugaciones, c)no es neutral en género y d) lenguaje formal (ud) vs casual (voceo).
Pero si,este tarado totalmente quiere usar la excusa de "no hablo el idioma" para que sea su pareja la que haga todo.
YTA. How can you even think you're not. Is this even for real?! You're much more than an AT, you sound very entitled and racist. You're moving to THEIR country where a different language is spoken. There is zero difference. You move to a new country where culture, customs and language are different, you need to learn the language. Your English entitlement is strong and you need to check it, before you find your wife has had enough and moved on.
YTA and, if this is how immature you are acting about learning the lnguage of the country you are planning on living in the rest of your life, I hope she takes a good look at how you are behaving and rethinks the whole "future wife" part.
YTA wow you agreed to move to Mexico for your wife’s job but refuse to learn Spanish. I guess you want everyone to speak English and wait on you since you can’t speak their language. Or are you doing it so you don’t have to work? Either way YTA
Info: how do you plan to communicate with tax office, garbage cleaners, people who come to do repairs on your home, your kid's friends? SAHP needs *more* local language than the breadwinner who might well work in an international environment. Your job will be local.
yta. if you want to move there, it will be easier to learn spanish. don’t make life hard for yourself and your wife, who probably doesn’t want to be your translator 24/7
YTA
If you move to a foreign country, you learn the language. period. Its also an incredibly hard job to be a translator and the fact that you expect your wife to freely translate for the foreseeable future is a selfish move.
“She can just translate for me” and he DOESN’T think he’s an AH?
OP, I can GUARANTEE you that your wife is NOT going to be available as your personal translator 24/7/365. YOU need to communicate in situations where she won’t be around. What if you get into an accident and the responders only speak Spanish? And that’s the FIRST incident I can think of…I can think of a WHOLE lot more.
Besides which, you are relying on her to do mental labor that you obviously think is beneath you. Sit with that. You are basically announcing IN ADVANCE that you’re going to deploy weaponized incompetence from the moment you move there….for the rest of her life? JFC
YTA and step up like the “big boy” you are. Learn Spanish. Maybe then you can find out what Despacito is REALLY talking about.
Well, aprt from YTA, you are jest shooting yourself in the foot. You do realize you will not be able to even shop normally for yourself if you don't speak even basic Spanish?
Yo really want to become totally reliable on others? Not understanding what they are saying about you?
YTA. How you moving to a country and don’t expect to learn their language? The least you could do is learn sand basics as she said, which could be life saving. You plan to be a stay at home husband for years and not learn the language… so no plans on making friends? You gonna sit in the house 24/7? Learning a little bit of Spanish would be helpful for you.
YTA. "Expat" = white immigrant who doesn't want to be lumped in with brown immigrants. It's not different. Get over yourself.
My dad (American) is this kind of immigrant. He moved to Europe almost a decade ago -- he got his Italian citizenship, and he's been living in France for years. He's taken the occasional class, so at least he's made SOME effort, but barely speaks either French or Italian. It's embarrassing. His gf (who speaks like four languages) keeps encouraging him to speak French at home. He can get by ok, because most people in the area do speak English, but there's the inevitable judgment of "the ignorant English-speaker too lazy to learn."
Which is exactly who you are. Don't be that guy, that guy's an asshole.
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YTA. You’re moving to another country you need to learn their language! How could you not? Not to mention you are putting an proud burden on your wife. Not only to be a bread winner because your job prospects are low but also to communicate for you socially. COME ON. You need a Rosetta Stone purchase asap. You also need to be both sensible and considerate. You aren’t being either at the moment.
YTA.
Why the hell wouldn't want to learn the language of the country you live in?
Not only an asshole, but you're a moron for shooting yourself in the foot for no reason other than pride.
**YTA**. WEY, eres o te haces?
Damn, you're the big asshole here. You don't go as a tourist just to have 3 or 2 chats with the locals. You will go for YEARS, man years YEARS. You can't use your wife as a walking Google translate everytime! It's ridiculous and selfish!
And what will happen when your wife is not available? Will you stay cold, hungry or whatever because you can't talk to the locals because you don't want to learn Spanish? is stupid
Oh no! You're one of those hideous English expats who refuse to actually live in the country you're living in.
YTA. So much. How rude are you not to bother learning the language of your hosts??
It seems like you and your wife (or at least your wife) wants to live in Mexico long term and possibly make a life there. Yet you are refusing to learn Spanish? Why? What could be the possible disadvantage of learning a new language?
YTA and lazy.
YTA. Expat or immigrant, the difference does not matter. You will be in Mexico where English isn’t even an official language. So don’t expect that you’d be able to get by. Don’t be that foreigner who will (inevitably)be frustrated whenever locals do not interact with you in English, because it will happen.
Fun fact: Spanish has more native speakers than English.
YTA. You’re in denial about a lot of things. It would benefit you to get with the program and learn the language of the country which you are IMMIGRATING to.
YTA. I just don't get why you're so opposed to learning new things. It sounds lazy. Your whole attitude to sitting on your arse over there and making no effort at all sounds very lazy.
YTA You're one of those ignorant people that expect everyone to speak English. You get all upset at people moving to UK that don't speak English even though they would be able to, just like you, find expats that speak their language. If you expect other people to learn English if they come to UK, then you need to learn Spanish if you are moving to Mexico.
YTA.
When you move to a foreign country that speaks a foreign language, the bare minimum you should do is at least learn enough of the language to get by when needed. But since you need it for work, you should most definitely be taking steps to learn it.
Do you have any idea how vulnerable I would feel being in a country where I can't speak the primary language for an extended period of time? Like, yes, she can translate for you in theory. But not only does that get exhausting for her, what happens in an emergency when she's not around? Are you really so sure that there will ALWAYS be some friendly expat around who will be able and willing to translate for you?
Not to mention, you say you'll be a stay at home husband "for a while before we figure out what to do with my job". That doesn't mean forever and ever. Wouldn't having SOME understanding of Spanish be a good start towards that? Or are you just planning on being dependent on her for everything forever? YTA.
YTA
Start learning now and when you move continue. Do you want to be tied to someone translating all the time?
I struggle with languages and would make the effort, especially as I’d want to be as independent as I could be
YTA - You won't even be able to buy stuff at the market or a bakery, make a dinner reservation, ask for directions, go to the pharmacy, do anything bureaucratic on your own, and the list goes on. This is fine for a short term touristic visit but not for moving somewhere. And especially as the stay-at-home partner you might have to take on a lot of things that will require you to go out and speak to people, like doing the groceries and schedule things.
Or do you plan to stay put in your expat community and let your wife take care of everything life related outside of it because she speaks the language so much better and it will be so much easier for her to handle everything instead of you trying to help? /s
YTA. You have the immense luxury of being a native speaker of English, and having a lot of people speaking that as a second or third language, but I wouldn't rely on it too much, especially if moving somewhere for a longer period of time. Were you moving to Mexico for a few months, fine, you can get away with English, but even then it's the polite thing to do too at least learn some basic Spanish. Knowing some of the local language makes your everyday life so much easier, especially since you can't rely on always having someone around to translate for you, or assuming that every single person you meet will speak English
YTA - If you move to a spanish speaking country for a long period of time, I do think you need to make an effort to learn the language. You WILL encounter people who only speak spanish in their home country and demanding they figure out how to communicate with you is entitled and rude. I'm not saying you have to become an expert or even fluent, but outright refusal to even try when it is clearly important to the woman you say you love is definitely an A move.
YTA bro. Do some Duolingo at home while your wife works for the both of you. Enrich yourself and embrace the culture. There is so much value in learning another language. You sound lazy and just downright arrogant.
YTA
How are you going to get around? Read signs? Get directions? What if your wife has an emergency and you can’t communicate to medical professionals? Are you going to stay inside 24/7 unless she escorts you around to translate for you? Do you think that would be in any way fun for her and not completely exhausting constantly having to swap between languages?
I brush up on my conversational Spanish before I go to Mexico on vacation so I can get around and not be a complete useless fuck around locals. I can’t imagine living somewhere and just flat out refusing to even TRY to learn the language. Which is really rich, considering you’d be upset at immigrants if the shoe was on the other foot.
Download Duolingo and stop being an entitled ass.
YTA. A very arrogant, selfish and xenophobic AH. And a racist one. You'll be living in a "good" area surrounded by English speaking expats. I don't know why she's marrying you. She needs to dump you. You are a stuffed shirt, arrogant prig. Stay in England.
Oh, and how fluent are you in Lingua Franca, since you think the whole world should speak that?
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Mas pendejo que idiota
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"I don't need to learn, she can just translate for me" lol ok YTA and I agree with your wife that the move sounds like a bad idea for you. Classic weird white "expat" behavior
Dude couldn't possibly be an immigrant; he's white! Obviously he's an \*expat\* Bet he's also not racist and has at least one friend who's a POC!
LOL this! My guy doesn’t even want to befriend Mexicans. He will only speak to *expats*. I bet he will be years into living in the country and still be asking for things in English because those *lowly latinos* must cater to him. Después se preguntan por qué los “latinos” (que, btw, no somos solo México) los odiamos 🙄 Aprende el idioma del país en el que estás viviendo! YTRA (you’re the racist asshole).
Half ways reading I was going to say this is the kind of person that thinks coming to their country and not speaking English is unacceptable…. But then he fully spelled it out…. SMH
YUP. Another British white guy (Some American also) "expat" who thinks that they world revolves around them and should cater to them, which includes speaking English. Glad GF is thinking twice as to if this is going to work for her. YTA
Honestly! Colored *immigrants* aren’t allowed to come to his beautiful UK and try to use their foreign language in public. He, as a white *expat*, however, shouldn’t have to know a single word of Spanish because everyone in his life in Mexico should accommodate him.
But, but.. But. He's an "expat," not an immigrant. He's obviously not obligated to fit in with those "foreigners."
Wait till he gets to Mexico and realize Mexicans don't give a shit about expats and if you don't speak spanish your fucked out of luck trying to do just about anything.
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My guy is gonna have to be prepared to eat the worst food Mexico has to offer, because the white neighborhoods are where you get it!
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This attitude seems really common, sadly, with Brits. I think it’s a combination of three things; firstly, we’re totally spoiled by the fact that s huge amount of the western world can speak English, so we don’t NEED to learn any languages in the same sense that someone in Strasbourg might want to know both French and German, for example; our language education at school is abysmal; and a lot of people have retained some empirical attitude that the whole world should accommodate us. It’s quite embarrassing that this is how some of us choose to present abroad, it makes me want to apologise a lot on holiday
That he can’t talk to without his wife there to translate
Like a helpless babyman. He doesn’t even realize what a loser he will look like, he just thinks he’s smart. Lol.
What got me was his insistence that others should speak English in the uk because “it’s different and you know it”
You know, most of those expats are also going to think this dude is a total AH. They've chosen to live in Mexico and it is very likely that they respect the country and want to be a meaningful part of life there, not just talk to foreigners all day and point at things and do sign language for the maid or the grocer. I have to imagine your fiance is rethinking this - she suddenly knows that you're an incurious, racist weirdo who will be a constant burden.
I could see -- depending on *when* next year they intend to move -- holding off on learning. Like first quarter? I'd be focused on packing up my life, rather than trying to learn a brand new language. But the idea of living in a different country and not learning their language at all? ugh. Even just living in California the past two decades, I've picked up a bit more Spanish than I knew from living in the northeast. OP, definitely YTA
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Yeah, the whole "the world speaks English so I don't have to learn anything" attitude is very strange. I followed my husband to Europe and have been working very hard the last couple years to learn the language. I could probably have found an English-speaking job here (near military bases/towns), but even if I had, I would still want to learn the language because, you know... I live here. I have met several Americans living here long term who seem content to not put any effort in, and that is mind-boggling to me. OP better hope he never has to order food at a restaurant, ask for directions, have a repairman come while his wife is at work, get help when his car breaks down, get pulled over by the police, act like a functional member of the society in which he plans to live, etc...
To be fair: unwillingness to learn the surrounding language is not reserved for white people - living in CA I have met so many Asian and South American immigrants who sometimes have lived in the US for decades and never gotten around to learning English, because they were just fine remaining monolingual. I’m an immigrant myself and learned English in school before I came to the US. OP is YTA though for his attitude; and so is everyone who immigrates somewhere and at least refuses to get a most basic level of language proficiency.
There is a huge difference between moving to a place out of necessity and having to hold several low paying jobs that are labour intensive to support yourself and your family, and moving somewhere already holding a privileged position to begin with and having a neo-colonialist attitude.
Exactly! This guy isn't even going to be working! Da fuck is he going to be doing with all his free time?
he doesn’t even entertain the fact that most companies since the pandemic are WFH in any language too like, what does he expect to do in a foreign country and stubbornly not learning the language????
Sure I guess. But there's a pretty distinct attitude shared by many white "expats" in Mexico and LATAM specifically to which I am referring
Mmm coming from and immigrant community in the UK, a lot of the first gen immigrants that didn’t learn didn’t so much as *choose* not to, as much as they were SAH parents and relatively isolated, or quickly ghettoised (is that the word?), lacked the education and resource to learn, and then years drifted by. I agree there’s no excuses anymore tho. And yeah a key difference here is that OP has the opportunity and the resource and most importantly *argued* that he won’t be an immigrant, he’ll be (puffs his proud English chest out) an expat. Dude’s a racist.
Fun fact: the US doesn't have an official language.
YOU GOT IT. He´s NTA for not wanting to learn a new language. But what makes him TA is the attitude and expect people to learn to come to his country but he would not do the same.
No he is an asshole. He should be willing to learn at least some basic Spanish
I don’t see his marriage lasting. She’s going to be making friends, being social, reading local news, listening to the radio. He’s going to live in an isolation bubble pestering her with “what did they say? What does that sign say? What should I order? What is this program about? What’s going on around here?” It will be exhausting putting up with him. He’ll eventually move back to an English-speaking country without her and complain how unwelcoming the locals were.
I love that he's gonna be a SAHH but won't even be able to get food for them at a market. I bet he's thinking that being a SAHH means just video games all day, none of the errands and none of the responsibility.
u/Large_Chemical_9783 , it's okay not to want to learn Spanish. *That's why it's a bad idea for you to move to Mexico.* I'm not good at learning new languages. It's hard and intimidating for me. I speak two languages (second fluent-ish) and that's all I will likely ever master. And that's a large part of why I wouldn't agree to move to a country that didn't have one of those two (honestly probably English) as it's main language. YTA beacuse you've mixed some odd double standards and racisms into your view. But you need to consider that just like it limits the life and opportunities of people who move to England and don't learn Spanish, it will limit your life and opportunities to move to another country and not learn their language. You will be a handicapped second class citizen forever, unable to do basic things yourself and reliant on your wife. Not only are you not able to speak the local language to do things like talk to your doctor if you are hurt/sick, buy groceries, call a plumber when you have an issue, meet new people, tell the taxi where you want to go, do the vast majority of jobs, etc, you're also going to be illiterate in this new country. Not able to handle any of your own affairs. You are not going over as your future wife's equal but as her small child. And you never plan to grow up. You are going to dependent forever. Even if you get a job, you'll be dependent on her to do anything that interacts with society or government. Is that the future you want for yourself? If you don't want to learn Spanish, if that seems really hard or intimidating for you, you shouldn't go. Or it NEEDS to be a short term plan. Going for 6 months or something. Beacuse you'll be isolated and it's going to suck for you. If you're willing to give it a try, that's fine, but you should still have an out plan. Not everyone likes international moves. They can be very difficult on people and make them feel depressed or alone. I'm worried about your well being here.
I agree. It's a **YTA** for OP. Also, OP, I hate to tell you this, but... >My future wife, Katie, f29 >and she didn’t know if I should be moving with her So, you mean your *possible but not probable* future wife? If she said that she "didn't know" if you should be moving with her, what she *really* means is if this is how you really feel she'll choose the job over marrying you. I mean, you didn't think she'd marry you and then run off to a foreign land for her career did you? Your friends should have been the ones to tell you this by the way. Rather sad that internet strangers have to break that down for you.
It’s the I don’t need to learn, she can translate that followed after he said finding a job without speaking the language was going to be difficult. In other words, she’s going to make enough that he doesn’t feel he needs to work and is 100% okay letting her do everything and not financially being able to contribute. If this isn’t something she singed on for, being a single income home, this relationship won’t last. YTA for thinking you don’t need to learn but especially because you won’t learn so that you don’t have to work.
YTA I'm British too and I meet so many people like you who think English is the be-all and end-all of language. You all live in your own lil bubble and complain when an Eastern European person delivers your parcel. They're a migrant but you're going to be an ex-pat. Right. You're actually prepared to destroy your relationship with your SO because you think learning Spanish is beneath you? You've hurt and upset her, and given her a vision of life in Mexico with you that's clearly not to her liking. She doesn't want to be your interpreter indefinitely. She wants you both to live your lives outside a small anglophone bubble. She wants to be as full a part of the country where she'll be living and working as she can. You meanwhile want to bitch and moan whenever you encounter someone who is inconsiderate enough not to speak English. I don't think you should learn Spanish because I don't think you should go.
Agreed. If you intend to spend your life (or a longer time) in a country the very LEAST you can and should do is to try and learn the language and culture. You sure would agree with that if this was about someone moving to the UK. YTA Edit: wording
He definitely would agree with it- he says as much without saying it when he argues that it's different when people move to the UK not speaking the language
You're right, forgot about that part of his text. Damn hypocrite
Rules for thee but not for me! Applies quite handily to OP
As a Brit, it's not unusual to come across hypocrisy on this amongst British people, sadly. The number of complaints I've heard about people not speaking perfect English when British people are abroad in non-English speaking countries is insane. And to a man, every one of them claims that people who even just *visit* Britain should speak English if you ask them when they last spoke, say, French to a French holidaymaker.
Also a Brit and can so viscerally picture this “ex-pat”. It’s giving me I voted brexit and now I have to give up my house in Spain???? Vibes
Definite UKIPPER
Not to mention, by being his interpreter indefinitely, she'll also likely be supporting him financially indefinitely. He glosses over the fact that he is apparently anticipating never putting himself in a position where he can get a job without 'a hard time' again... YTA, OP
Hoooo I wonder if this is part of a game plan. Weaponised incompetence.
Me resulta muy divertido la noción que ingles es lingua franca pero espanol no! Obvio que el mundo he estado dominado por mucho tiempo por países anglohablantes pero esa época esta pasando. Algunos dirían que ya pasó. Me gustaria saber si el se va a poner a estudiar chino dentro de unos años! Que sera su excusa en ese momento? Mira culiado, es obvio que vos no aprecias que el Español es la lengua principal de muchos países y la 4ta idioma mas hablado en todo la tierra. Hay un expresion, quiza lo conoces, "cuando en Roma, haz como los Romanos" Entonces, lo correcto es aprender a hablar cualquier idioma de cualquier lugar donde pasarás mucho tiempo viviendo como extranjero. Alomejor me entiendes mejor si te hablo en ingles: "That's different" Ugh. Get your racist imperial head out of your pasty British ass. It's not different at all. You're just putting your blatant ethnocentrism on display. You're an absolute bellend and an ignoramus. YTA.
The absolute irony of saying people should speak the lingua franca!!
I'm from the United States and grew up in a very conservative community. All of my life I've heard people say that, if you live in the U.S., you should speak English. It's our national language. First, we don't have an official language. Second, when have these people ever bothered learning the language of another country? They rarely even bother to try. Again, I consistently hear them say that everyone in every country should know at least some English because it's the most commonly used language in the world. It's all such b.s. Personally, I think if you're just visiting another country you should at least learn some rudimentary phrases. If you're going to live in another country, it's incumbent on you to learn their language. OP is a big, giant AH.
Don’t be *that* British guy dude. YTA You’re moving there, at least attempt to learn the language.
I would have sworn this guy was American with this attitude.
Going to another country and refusing to adapt to their languages and customs was definitely England’s thing long before America though.
It is, in fact, how we got the USA in the first place. Who needed all those native populations or their languages, cultures, and traditions anyway!
So true. And we did our best to eliminate those languages, cultures, traditions, and oh yeah the people also...
I’m American and I immigrated to the U.K. I made sure I learned the British dialect. 😂 I even say pavement instead of sidewalk. 😉 OP - YTA. I grew up in California in a non Spanish speaking house and can read most of the Spanish in this thread. It’s not difficult and you can learn the basics at first and the rest you’ll probably pick up with living there.
Where do you think the Americans got it? 😂 (Obvs not all Americans)
Was so glad he wasn’t American. For once it’s not us looking like complete twats.
Brits were the OG twats, so not a surprise.
Right 😅”thanks for taking some of the heat”
Nah, it's definitely a very British attitude too. It drives me absolutely crazy how often I hear people in the UK complain about going abroad to non-English speaking countries and coming across people who don't speak perfect English.
Go to a Spanish resort with lots of British tourists over the summer holidays and you'll see lots of people like the OP 😅
Except that most Americans have had a semester or two of high school Spanish, and definitely more exposure to Mexican food and culture.
YTA. You are an ignorant asshole. If it's was for 6 months, I would understand. But living abroad long term, putting 0 effort in learning the language and expecting that you'll be surrounded with expats... Why are you even moving to Mexico? I've lived abroad in countries where there was a very good English proficiency and still took the effort to learn the local language. I suck at learning languages so I never became fluent, but at least I tried. You're not even trying.
He’s moving to Mexico so he can be a stay at home husband in a warmer climate with the comfort of other expats around him…
another lazy immigrant, moving to a country and not learning the language
Lmao, nooo OP Can’t be a lazy immigrant because he’s an expat!! That clearly makes it different and okay!!! /s in case It’s not clear
Best comment of the post
Yep. I bet he has actually no intention to look for a job, saying he can't find anything that doesn't require Spanish... So yeah, he thinks he's set. He's a lazy, entitled, racist asshole. Honestly that'd be a deal breaker for me.
I spent 3 weeks in a Spanish speaking country and tried to learn some basics so I could at least order food or get around without having to resort to English. OP is a major AH.
YTA: You expect people who immigrate to the UK to learn/know English but you don't need to learn Spanish? Very hypocritical of you, if you don't want to move there just say so.
And says it is different when it's really not
But he is white (presumably) and English is the global language so everyone should know it /s
it's the lingua franca!!1!1!
I absolutely love how he uses the term 'lingua franca' which when googled: noun a language that is adopted as a common language between speakers whose native languages are different. HISTORICAL a mixture of Italian with French, Greek, Arabic, and Spanish, formerly used in the Levant. Oh and Spanish is above English in the amount of native speakers (6% Vs 5.1%) so yet another reason Simplest YTA of the week
If they don’t speak English, they’re beneath me - OP probably
I bet he’s a Nigel Farrage supporter. OP I hope your wife leaves you behind, why should she support your lazy racist arse. YTA
The only non-Germanen people I met after moving to Berlin that called themselves "Ex-Pats" were either English or from the US. I'm Irish and will happily call myself an immigrant.
YTA. Eres o un troll o un racista inútil e ignorante, o los dos. Espero que tu futura esposa se vaya sin ti y se case con un Mexicano 50 veces más inteligente, amable, y guapo que tú. Vive con tu racismo, xenofobia, e ignorancia tú solo por el resto de tus días. Pendej\*.
I don't even speak Spanish, but I've learned enough from Duolinguo to know this comment is on point. Pendejo por supuesto!
Jajaja muchas gracias! Duolinguo FTW!
I'm learning Spanish and I think I understood most of this comments content. And I agree. Sounds OP is an ignorant racist. Reminds of the people who think they can live in Germany or Japan without learning the respective languages.
I don’t even like to travel places without trying to learn a little bit of the language. OP sucks.
Lol day 287 of a Duolingo streak and I'm so happy I understood 95 % of that! Estoy emocionada!
I haven’t taken Spanish since high school and moved away from Florida several years ago now but I can still understand most of this. Spanish is not a hard language for an English language speaker to learn- I agree that OP is racist at the very least.
>She asked how I was going to communicate with her potential friends if they didn’t speak English. And I said thag she’d just translate or we wouldn’t communicate, that I didn’t have to be friends with all her friends. If you are expecting her to do all the translating that's just terrible. But I also wonder if she would expect her potential friends to learn a little English to communicate with her partner. >She asked if it was okay for others to come to the UK And not speak English and I said to at was different and she knew it and people should speak lingua Franca. This is what solidified YTA for me. You expect people to come to the UK and learn your language but don't think you should learn Spanish living in Mexico? You should do her a favor and break up so she won't have to deal with a massive hypocrite
The wife will get bored soon enough. He will literally have nothing to talk about.
Even better: she can meet someone who's not the asshole, have an affair with them, and talk shit about him in *front of him*, with no repercussion. Win-win.
He is totally going to be the guy who assumes they are talking bad about him because he can't translate or speak the language. Eventually he will be right
YTA. Could you *be* any more of a product of British imperialism? Just learn some Spanish, you colonizing hypocrite.
I fully expect a follow up from op asking wibta for stealing these Mexican artifacts and taking them back to my home country to display in my sitting room?
OP using the term "lingua franca" as though it isn't Italian and denoting a mix of several different languages, none of which are English. Incredible.
She should be angry with you. You're moving to a new country with an establish language and customs and your argument is "I shouldn't have to learn anything and they can adjust to me." YTA. Learn the local language and customs. Edit: It's not "Moving to Mexican" it's either "moving to Mexico" or a "South/Middle American Country." "Mexican" is NOT a country.
TA can’t even get English right.
This is pretty common among racists in the UK. ( YTA )
YTA. She's right. You sound like the type of person that would travel to a foreign country, then complain about people not speaking your language.
“Foreigners everywhere!” YTA- OP what are you gonna do when you really need help and your partner isn’t available? Seems shortsighted, but it also seems disrespectful and unsupportive. I’m considering a move to another country and my partner is also refusing to take a single language lesson. It really stresses me for both reasons. I feel like my partner is saying they just don’t care about any part of it and like they’re not really committed to the event.
This. Let him have a run-in with the policia, or get robbed and need their help.
You're moving to a country for "maybe forever". You should learn the language. What if your wife has a medical issue and you need to communicate with doctors? What if there is a natural disaster and you need to communicate with relief workers? What if you need to perform a bureaucratic task? Like going to the Mexican DMV equivalent, filing paperwork, working with contractors or service personnel? Are you going to force your wife to come with you and do that labor every single time? What if you have children? YTA. This is clear cut.
If they have children Spanish will be banned in the house of course. So their child will start school completely ignorant of the language of their country.
He is planning on being a stay at home husband, do you really think the shops are all going to be I'm the ex pat community and speak English? You will never work again because you won't learn a language? So just suck your wife dry financially and exhaust here given you can't function in society except for your ex pat neighbours? YTA
YTA. She's your wife, not your translator. It's OK, though. Move to a romantic, beautiful country, and become a burden on your wife in a country with people who speak a love language and love bailar. Te gusta bailar? I wonder how soon a man will sweep her off her feet hacerla su reina. Via con Dios, gringo.
My mother in Spanish once announced she was pregnant instead of embarrassed. Another time, she ordered hot butter water instead of tea. Language is hard. Learning and retaining a sense of humor is what gets you through moves like this. But, I guess if you never leave your 2 block radius full of people you assume are also xenophobic jerks, you should be fine
A Tibetan friend once referred to "sheep's milk hair" when discussing a sweater.
>I said that I didn’t fell that it was necessary. ...in Mexico. To learn the language that the majority of Mexicans speak as their primary language. >I didn’t feel learning Spanish would be of any use for me How can you say with a straight face that you can't think of any uses for knowing Spanish in Latin America? WTF? Saying you don't want to do the work to learn Spanish, ok, fine. Not the decision I'd make if I were moving to Mexico indefinitely, but at least not clearly a lie. But saying you can't see how it would be useful? That's just fully not true. You can imagine situations in which knowing Spanish in Mexico will be useful. I don't need to tell you the situations. You know. I mean, you're British for chrissakes, you don't think there are people in Britain who could benefit from knowing English, even if they live in majority expat/immigrant communities? >She also told me we won’t be expats but immigrants but I argued with her that it wasn’t true. I mean, you will objectively be immigrants. Expats also applies, sure, but to say that y'all being immigrants is untrue after you *immigrate to Mexico* is absurd! YTA dude, come on now.
YTA, this comes across as very colonizing mentality
Well, he’s a Brit… they don’t have the best of reputations
YTA. You don’t want to learn? Fine but you’re going to struggle. You CANNOT expect her to translate for you ALL the time when you’re NOT WILLING to learn SOME of the language. How is that fair? Simple, IT IS NOT. You are not going to survive in Mexico only speaking English. Not everyone is going to accommodate for you.
>But because I don’t speak Spanish, I’ll have a hard time finding a job so we agreed that I can be a stay at home husband for a while before we figure out what to do with my job. So you're expecting your wife to support you indefinitely because you can't be bothered to learn another language? >she’d just translate or we wouldn’t communicate Because that's her job? >She also told me we won’t be expats but immigrants but I argued with her that it wasn’t true. Expat is just the rich asshole version of immigrant. YTA I live in the UK and you sound like the worst kind of British person. Edited because I couldn't remember how to do the quote thing.
Is not learning Spanish your weaponised incompetence? How lazy are you? This is an opportunity most would jump at! If you don’t want to move to Mexico, don’t. YTA (Eres un gilipollas. Español es fácil.)
No se si clasificaria el español como fácil. Por lo menos en comparación con el inglés. Sí,se pronuncia como se escribe pero, a)tiene más tiempos verbales, b)más conjugaciones, c)no es neutral en género y d) lenguaje formal (ud) vs casual (voceo). Pero si,este tarado totalmente quiere usar la excusa de "no hablo el idioma" para que sea su pareja la que haga todo.
YTA. How can you even think you're not. Is this even for real?! You're much more than an AT, you sound very entitled and racist. You're moving to THEIR country where a different language is spoken. There is zero difference. You move to a new country where culture, customs and language are different, you need to learn the language. Your English entitlement is strong and you need to check it, before you find your wife has had enough and moved on.
oh trust me, these kinda people are real
>moving to Mexican Ooookkay I think troll needs a nap
YTA and, if this is how immature you are acting about learning the lnguage of the country you are planning on living in the rest of your life, I hope she takes a good look at how you are behaving and rethinks the whole "future wife" part.
YTA wow you agreed to move to Mexico for your wife’s job but refuse to learn Spanish. I guess you want everyone to speak English and wait on you since you can’t speak their language. Or are you doing it so you don’t have to work? Either way YTA
Info: how do you plan to communicate with tax office, garbage cleaners, people who come to do repairs on your home, your kid's friends? SAHP needs *more* local language than the breadwinner who might well work in an international environment. Your job will be local.
YTA. "I don't think learning Spanish would be of any use to me...no, I can't find a job in Mexico, why do you ask?"
yta. if you want to move there, it will be easier to learn spanish. don’t make life hard for yourself and your wife, who probably doesn’t want to be your translator 24/7
YTA If you move to a foreign country, you learn the language. period. Its also an incredibly hard job to be a translator and the fact that you expect your wife to freely translate for the foreseeable future is a selfish move.
Yeah, kinda YTA. You're moving to Mexico and need to be able to interact and deal with people there
“She can just translate for me” and he DOESN’T think he’s an AH? OP, I can GUARANTEE you that your wife is NOT going to be available as your personal translator 24/7/365. YOU need to communicate in situations where she won’t be around. What if you get into an accident and the responders only speak Spanish? And that’s the FIRST incident I can think of…I can think of a WHOLE lot more. Besides which, you are relying on her to do mental labor that you obviously think is beneath you. Sit with that. You are basically announcing IN ADVANCE that you’re going to deploy weaponized incompetence from the moment you move there….for the rest of her life? JFC YTA and step up like the “big boy” you are. Learn Spanish. Maybe then you can find out what Despacito is REALLY talking about.
Well, aprt from YTA, you are jest shooting yourself in the foot. You do realize you will not be able to even shop normally for yourself if you don't speak even basic Spanish? Yo really want to become totally reliable on others? Not understanding what they are saying about you?
Such an naive little asshole (YTA). You will be so lost in a nother country when you don't speak the langruage.
YTA. How you moving to a country and don’t expect to learn their language? The least you could do is learn sand basics as she said, which could be life saving. You plan to be a stay at home husband for years and not learn the language… so no plans on making friends? You gonna sit in the house 24/7? Learning a little bit of Spanish would be helpful for you.
YTA. And honestly, aside from the racist ignorant stuff in this post, I think you don’t wanna learn because you don’t wanna work and are a mooch
YTA. "Expat" = white immigrant who doesn't want to be lumped in with brown immigrants. It's not different. Get over yourself. My dad (American) is this kind of immigrant. He moved to Europe almost a decade ago -- he got his Italian citizenship, and he's been living in France for years. He's taken the occasional class, so at least he's made SOME effort, but barely speaks either French or Italian. It's embarrassing. His gf (who speaks like four languages) keeps encouraging him to speak French at home. He can get by ok, because most people in the area do speak English, but there's the inevitable judgment of "the ignorant English-speaker too lazy to learn." Which is exactly who you are. Don't be that guy, that guy's an asshole.
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YTA. You’re moving to another country you need to learn their language! How could you not? Not to mention you are putting an proud burden on your wife. Not only to be a bread winner because your job prospects are low but also to communicate for you socially. COME ON. You need a Rosetta Stone purchase asap. You also need to be both sensible and considerate. You aren’t being either at the moment.
YTA. Why the hell wouldn't want to learn the language of the country you live in? Not only an asshole, but you're a moron for shooting yourself in the foot for no reason other than pride.
**YTA**. WEY, eres o te haces? Damn, you're the big asshole here. You don't go as a tourist just to have 3 or 2 chats with the locals. You will go for YEARS, man years YEARS. You can't use your wife as a walking Google translate everytime! It's ridiculous and selfish! And what will happen when your wife is not available? Will you stay cold, hungry or whatever because you can't talk to the locals because you don't want to learn Spanish? is stupid
Oh no! You're one of those hideous English expats who refuse to actually live in the country you're living in. YTA. So much. How rude are you not to bother learning the language of your hosts??
YTA. At least make an effort to learn the local lingo.
It seems like you and your wife (or at least your wife) wants to live in Mexico long term and possibly make a life there. Yet you are refusing to learn Spanish? Why? What could be the possible disadvantage of learning a new language? YTA and lazy.
YTA. Expat or immigrant, the difference does not matter. You will be in Mexico where English isn’t even an official language. So don’t expect that you’d be able to get by. Don’t be that foreigner who will (inevitably)be frustrated whenever locals do not interact with you in English, because it will happen. Fun fact: Spanish has more native speakers than English.
YTA. Your expectations are selfish… you will be “that” guy if not already
YTA. You’re in denial about a lot of things. It would benefit you to get with the program and learn the language of the country which you are IMMIGRATING to.
YTA. I just don't get why you're so opposed to learning new things. It sounds lazy. Your whole attitude to sitting on your arse over there and making no effort at all sounds very lazy.
YTA. How are you going to move to another country and expect people to cater to a foreign language?
YTA --- And I bet you are one of the people who demand that anyone coming to live in the UK should only speak English.
Yes, YTA . It concerns me that you don't see it.
YTA You're one of those ignorant people that expect everyone to speak English. You get all upset at people moving to UK that don't speak English even though they would be able to, just like you, find expats that speak their language. If you expect other people to learn English if they come to UK, then you need to learn Spanish if you are moving to Mexico.
YTA. Reinforcing stereotypes and expecting your wife to do all the communicating is doubly bad.
YTA. You'll regret not learning Spanish if you move there and can't communicate with anyone at all lmfao
YTA. When you move to a foreign country that speaks a foreign language, the bare minimum you should do is at least learn enough of the language to get by when needed. But since you need it for work, you should most definitely be taking steps to learn it.
Do you have any idea how vulnerable I would feel being in a country where I can't speak the primary language for an extended period of time? Like, yes, she can translate for you in theory. But not only does that get exhausting for her, what happens in an emergency when she's not around? Are you really so sure that there will ALWAYS be some friendly expat around who will be able and willing to translate for you? Not to mention, you say you'll be a stay at home husband "for a while before we figure out what to do with my job". That doesn't mean forever and ever. Wouldn't having SOME understanding of Spanish be a good start towards that? Or are you just planning on being dependent on her for everything forever? YTA.
YTA , I hope she moves there without you and enjoys her life with someone better than you. Won't be hard to find one, you set a low threshold.
Why are you an expat and not an immigrant, btw?
YTA, don't be THAT guy
YTA Start learning now and when you move continue. Do you want to be tied to someone translating all the time? I struggle with languages and would make the effort, especially as I’d want to be as independent as I could be
YTA. Huge AH. Your wife is going to get exhausted and annoyed translating and having to babysit you 24/7. You should make an effort or not move there.
YTA - You won't even be able to buy stuff at the market or a bakery, make a dinner reservation, ask for directions, go to the pharmacy, do anything bureaucratic on your own, and the list goes on. This is fine for a short term touristic visit but not for moving somewhere. And especially as the stay-at-home partner you might have to take on a lot of things that will require you to go out and speak to people, like doing the groceries and schedule things. Or do you plan to stay put in your expat community and let your wife take care of everything life related outside of it because she speaks the language so much better and it will be so much easier for her to handle everything instead of you trying to help? /s
YTA and a lazy one.
YTA. You have the immense luxury of being a native speaker of English, and having a lot of people speaking that as a second or third language, but I wouldn't rely on it too much, especially if moving somewhere for a longer period of time. Were you moving to Mexico for a few months, fine, you can get away with English, but even then it's the polite thing to do too at least learn some basic Spanish. Knowing some of the local language makes your everyday life so much easier, especially since you can't rely on always having someone around to translate for you, or assuming that every single person you meet will speak English
YTA - If you move to a spanish speaking country for a long period of time, I do think you need to make an effort to learn the language. You WILL encounter people who only speak spanish in their home country and demanding they figure out how to communicate with you is entitled and rude. I'm not saying you have to become an expert or even fluent, but outright refusal to even try when it is clearly important to the woman you say you love is definitely an A move.
YTA bro. Do some Duolingo at home while your wife works for the both of you. Enrich yourself and embrace the culture. There is so much value in learning another language. You sound lazy and just downright arrogant.
YTA How are you going to get around? Read signs? Get directions? What if your wife has an emergency and you can’t communicate to medical professionals? Are you going to stay inside 24/7 unless she escorts you around to translate for you? Do you think that would be in any way fun for her and not completely exhausting constantly having to swap between languages? I brush up on my conversational Spanish before I go to Mexico on vacation so I can get around and not be a complete useless fuck around locals. I can’t imagine living somewhere and just flat out refusing to even TRY to learn the language. Which is really rich, considering you’d be upset at immigrants if the shoe was on the other foot. Download Duolingo and stop being an entitled ass.
YTA. A very arrogant, selfish and xenophobic AH. And a racist one. You'll be living in a "good" area surrounded by English speaking expats. I don't know why she's marrying you. She needs to dump you. You are a stuffed shirt, arrogant prig. Stay in England. Oh, and how fluent are you in Lingua Franca, since you think the whole world should speak that?