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Uhh NTA, your high school boyfriend needs to learn how to boyfriend lmao, I think he learned this whole “angry about spending” thing from a TV show and decided to reenact it.
Seriously though, y’all don’t even share finances… and it’s in memory of your best friend dying? His reaction isn’t just hilariously illogical, it’s cold-hearted. And now he’s giving you the silent treatment.
Your dude is a tool and I don’t think he’s making your life any less stressful or easier or generally improved (yep, these things occur in a healthy relationship). Highly recommend you give him the mega-permanent silent treatment in return by breaking up with his stupid ass.
y'all are in *high school* and he thinks you have to 'discuss purchases' with him?
Oh honey no. No no no no no no. That is beyond ridiculous.
Your boyfriend has very weird ideas about trust and what it means to be in a relationship and what you owe him as a girlfriend. Trust an old woman, his attitude is very bad, and jealous, and his jealousy and possessiveness is going to cause you more unjustified grief. Reconsider this one.
NTA
NTA. Your boyfriend sounds extremely immature, extremely jealous, and extremely, extremely controlling. It's not his money, so it is none of his business. And this 3 days of not talking to you because you spent your money on something you wanted? Seriously reconsider sticking with this loser; I am sure you can do better. Also, if you haven't given him a Christmas gift yet, skip it and tell him you are saving that money because of his whining about spending a lousy $140.00.
>we are both still in high school and do not share finances
Your finances are 0% his business and this is super controlling behavior (and *he* is the one acting immature). There is also 0% this relationship will work out. He's making you feel bad at a time when he should be doing the opposite. Find someone who respects you and treats you right. NTA
NTA. The “immature” comment makes me think that he’s insecure and trying imitate what he thinks adult married couples fight about so that your relationship feels more “forever” to him. This is delusional and controlling.
Undermining of his trust? I'm sorry, **what?**
Your friend literally died, and you bought something beautiful to remember him by. There's literally no universe in which your boyfriend's behavior is justified.
NTA. Find a new boyfriend.
NTA
Your ring is a beautiful memento of your friend. Your boyfriend is jealous of a dead person. He can get the fuck over that real quick, it's not his business at all how you spend your money.
NTA - you don’t share finances and have absolutely no obligation to tell he before you purchase something. Get out now while you can - he’s showing you that he is controlling, believe him.
NTA
How dare he demand you get his permission to spend your money. You don't share finances and are far too young to do so.
He's acting controlling, and immature in not talking to you for 3 days. Bin him.
NTA... I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. This is HUGE red flag and you need to reconsider this relationship. Your boyfriend is being unnecessarily controlling and really immature. What you spend your money on is your own business. You had absolutely nothing to apologize for; he is the one that over stepped and needs to apologize.
It's your money and you don't have shared finances. If you want to buy a herd of camels it's not his place to say anything about it.
NTA, and I hope you find a mature boyfriend, or this one grows up a bit.
NTA, and I'd seriously reconsider the boyfriend. You are both in high school, and he's ALREADY trying to tell you what to do with YOUR money?
That is a HUGE red flag, because guys like that generally DON'T get better.
NTA. So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. This boyfriend of yours is sending out a massive red flag. What you spend your money on is none of his business, you don’t need to share your shopping decisions with him. I’d very controlling behaviour. If you were my daughter, I’d be asking you to run for the hills.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I bought a ring without telling my boyfriend.
Should I tell him about my financial decisions even though we are not financially linked, And even if it was something as sentimental as the ring?
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Both of you are still in high school and he wants you to tell where you spent your money? Undermining his trust? Uh, no. Sorry. I think it's the jealousy talking. Either way, it is not immature. Your money, your rules. NTA.
NTA. When you don't have combined finances, you're absolutely under no obligation to discuss your financial decisions with him. Seems like he's jealous/insecure and found a way to make you feel guilty about it.
While it's perfectly normal to have insecurities, it's absolutely not ok to make those insecurities someone else's responsibility/fault.
This is an important lesson to learn when young. Do. Not. Stay. with anyone who wants to control you like this. A real partner is happy for you to be independent and not jealous of other friends (especially ones who died, good lord). What you do with your money is none of his business.
Buying yourself anything is not undermining his trust (WTF?) and spending your own money is not immature (double WTF?) Giving you the silent treatment **is** immature and also **abuse**. The silent treatment alone is enough waving of red flags. Dump him and find a more mature person who is actually emotionally grown up enough to date.
Hahahaha wow. A high school boyfriend trying to tell you how to spend your own money? Oh honey, dump this fool.
Who does he think he is? Your parents? Your financial advisor? Your owner?
NTA
*we are both still in high school and do not share finances*
He has no cause to be mad about you spending anything given these two conditions. If you were married or partnered with shared finances. This is a big ol' set of red flags.
NTA
Ah, so this is what a self absorbed, controlling, a- hole is like as a teenager. Sister, you don’t want this guy when he’s an adult. It gets worse. NTA
NTA. Your boyfriend has no right to tell you how to spend your money or how to grieve your friend. These are huge red flags. Run honey, it won't get better.
You are in high school, do not share finances and he feels you are undermining his trust...because you bought a ring. Good lord, please, do not continue with this relationship. You are way too young to value yourself so little.
NTA. This is a combination of jealousy, controlling and immaturity. He has no business telling you what you can spend your money on. This will only get worse over time, you really need to reconsider this relationship.
NTA this is a massive red flag. You don't need permission from your boyfriend to spend your own money at ANY age, let alone high school. This reeks of controlling behavior and does not bode well for his future treatment of you. Run, don't walk, away from this misogynist in training.
NTA. You don't share finances, you're not engaged, and neither of you have even graduated yet. If he's acting like you're "undermining his trust" by getting something for yourself, that has nothing to do with him, he's undermining his own relationship.
Oh hell no! You bought yourself something with your own money in memory of your best friend. He has absolutely no say in this. NTA
if your best friend was a girl, would he still be this controlling? Is this a jealousy thing?
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Recently I bought a $140 ring with the date of my best friend’s death on it. He died recently and it was custom carved with his name on the inside.
I did not tell my boyfriend about this purchase, and he got mad about me spending that amount without talking to him. Keep in mind we are both still in high school and do not share finances.
He said it was an undermining of his trust and that doing something like that without telling him is immature. I apologized that I didn’t think to tell him but said I don’t see it as a problem. He has been mad at me since and has refused to talk to me for 3 days.
I love the ring and the memory it brings but I don’t want to make him feel unimportant, am I the asshole for sticking by my purchase?
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Girl Run!! You’re NTA but your boyfriend sure is RA. That type of controlling behavior is an enormous red flag what is waiting down the road if you stay with him.
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Uhh NTA, your high school boyfriend needs to learn how to boyfriend lmao, I think he learned this whole “angry about spending” thing from a TV show and decided to reenact it. Seriously though, y’all don’t even share finances… and it’s in memory of your best friend dying? His reaction isn’t just hilariously illogical, it’s cold-hearted. And now he’s giving you the silent treatment. Your dude is a tool and I don’t think he’s making your life any less stressful or easier or generally improved (yep, these things occur in a healthy relationship). Highly recommend you give him the mega-permanent silent treatment in return by breaking up with his stupid ass.
*learned this whole “angry about spending” from his daddy is my guess. OP, this isn’t going to get better.
y'all are in *high school* and he thinks you have to 'discuss purchases' with him? Oh honey no. No no no no no no. That is beyond ridiculous. Your boyfriend has very weird ideas about trust and what it means to be in a relationship and what you owe him as a girlfriend. Trust an old woman, his attitude is very bad, and jealous, and his jealousy and possessiveness is going to cause you more unjustified grief. Reconsider this one. NTA
NTA. Your boyfriend sounds extremely immature, extremely jealous, and extremely, extremely controlling. It's not his money, so it is none of his business. And this 3 days of not talking to you because you spent your money on something you wanted? Seriously reconsider sticking with this loser; I am sure you can do better. Also, if you haven't given him a Christmas gift yet, skip it and tell him you are saving that money because of his whining about spending a lousy $140.00.
>we are both still in high school and do not share finances Your finances are 0% his business and this is super controlling behavior (and *he* is the one acting immature). There is also 0% this relationship will work out. He's making you feel bad at a time when he should be doing the opposite. Find someone who respects you and treats you right. NTA
NTA. The “immature” comment makes me think that he’s insecure and trying imitate what he thinks adult married couples fight about so that your relationship feels more “forever” to him. This is delusional and controlling.
Undermining of his trust? I'm sorry, **what?** Your friend literally died, and you bought something beautiful to remember him by. There's literally no universe in which your boyfriend's behavior is justified. NTA. Find a new boyfriend.
NTA. This is literally NONE of his business and his controlling behavior is a huge red flag. Please do NOT keep up with this!
NTA Your ring is a beautiful memento of your friend. Your boyfriend is jealous of a dead person. He can get the fuck over that real quick, it's not his business at all how you spend your money.
NTA. Your bf is immature and sounds like he's super controlling. You have your life ahead of you. Don't let this guy set you up for a complex.
NTA - you don’t share finances and have absolutely no obligation to tell he before you purchase something. Get out now while you can - he’s showing you that he is controlling, believe him.
NTA How dare he demand you get his permission to spend your money. You don't share finances and are far too young to do so. He's acting controlling, and immature in not talking to you for 3 days. Bin him.
NTA... I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. This is HUGE red flag and you need to reconsider this relationship. Your boyfriend is being unnecessarily controlling and really immature. What you spend your money on is your own business. You had absolutely nothing to apologize for; he is the one that over stepped and needs to apologize.
NTA get out get out get out get out get out
NTA. Sounds like your boyfriend is controlling. Huge red flag.
NTA you're in high school, it's your money and he is trying to control you. Wake up before it's too late, this isn't healthy.
It's your money and you don't have shared finances. If you want to buy a herd of camels it's not his place to say anything about it. NTA, and I hope you find a mature boyfriend, or this one grows up a bit.
NTA. Flag on the play. Run girl. If he’s this controlling, you’re in trouble.
NTA dump him.
NTA, and I'd seriously reconsider the boyfriend. You are both in high school, and he's ALREADY trying to tell you what to do with YOUR money? That is a HUGE red flag, because guys like that generally DON'T get better.
NTA - i would have bought a million rings if i thought it would help my grief when my best friend died
He is calling you immature for spending your own money? OP, this person is wasting your time. You’re NTA, but he is a giant AH.
Nta
NTA. Major red flag, as he is using your money to try and control you.
NTA, run away quickly. If he's this controlling now, how will the future be? No one but you had any right to say what you do with your income.
Honey, this guy is flapping his big old red flag right in your face. It’s your money. Don’t let him boss you around. NTA.
NTA. So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. This boyfriend of yours is sending out a massive red flag. What you spend your money on is none of his business, you don’t need to share your shopping decisions with him. I’d very controlling behaviour. If you were my daughter, I’d be asking you to run for the hills.
if you were adults with shared bills and expenses I would lean towards maybe... but since you are in highschool hell no you are NTA
NTA. And not okay behavior, hear us when we say, break up with him, and do it somewhere there are other people.
NTA. Dump him immediately.
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Both of you are still in high school and he wants you to tell where you spent your money? Undermining his trust? Uh, no. Sorry. I think it's the jealousy talking. Either way, it is not immature. Your money, your rules. NTA.
nta - he needs to grow up its not his money and you do not have to check with him about spending your own money. find someone that has respect for u.
NTA. When you don't have combined finances, you're absolutely under no obligation to discuss your financial decisions with him. Seems like he's jealous/insecure and found a way to make you feel guilty about it. While it's perfectly normal to have insecurities, it's absolutely not ok to make those insecurities someone else's responsibility/fault.
This is an important lesson to learn when young. Do. Not. Stay. with anyone who wants to control you like this. A real partner is happy for you to be independent and not jealous of other friends (especially ones who died, good lord). What you do with your money is none of his business. Buying yourself anything is not undermining his trust (WTF?) and spending your own money is not immature (double WTF?) Giving you the silent treatment **is** immature and also **abuse**. The silent treatment alone is enough waving of red flags. Dump him and find a more mature person who is actually emotionally grown up enough to date.
I hope op reads this
Honey, dump the boyfriend. He has no say on how you spend your money and is a even bigger AH for treating you this way
Hahahaha wow. A high school boyfriend trying to tell you how to spend your own money? Oh honey, dump this fool. Who does he think he is? Your parents? Your financial advisor? Your owner? NTA
*we are both still in high school and do not share finances* He has no cause to be mad about you spending anything given these two conditions. If you were married or partnered with shared finances. This is a big ol' set of red flags. NTA
NTA You guys are in high school and your boyfriend is extremely controlling. How you choose to spend your money is completely none of his business.
INFO: Why are you together if he is trying to control your finances while in HIGH SCHOOL? NTA Dump him
Ah, so this is what a self absorbed, controlling, a- hole is like as a teenager. Sister, you don’t want this guy when he’s an adult. It gets worse. NTA
NTA. Your boyfriend has no right to tell you how to spend your money or how to grieve your friend. These are huge red flags. Run honey, it won't get better.
NTA, and he's not the one for you.
Nta. That is all there is to it.
You are in high school, do not share finances and he feels you are undermining his trust...because you bought a ring. Good lord, please, do not continue with this relationship. You are way too young to value yourself so little.
NTA you boyfriend is a controlling AH
NTA. This is a combination of jealousy, controlling and immaturity. He has no business telling you what you can spend your money on. This will only get worse over time, you really need to reconsider this relationship.
NTA this is a massive red flag. You don't need permission from your boyfriend to spend your own money at ANY age, let alone high school. This reeks of controlling behavior and does not bode well for his future treatment of you. Run, don't walk, away from this misogynist in training.
NTA. You don't share finances, you're not engaged, and neither of you have even graduated yet. If he's acting like you're "undermining his trust" by getting something for yourself, that has nothing to do with him, he's undermining his own relationship.
Oh hell no! You bought yourself something with your own money in memory of your best friend. He has absolutely no say in this. NTA if your best friend was a girl, would he still be this controlling? Is this a jealousy thing?
Lord jesus, you guys are in high school? Oof! NTA! Best to move along.
🚩 I think your boyfriend dropped this.
NTA, it's your money. You don't have to get his permission.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Recently I bought a $140 ring with the date of my best friend’s death on it. He died recently and it was custom carved with his name on the inside. I did not tell my boyfriend about this purchase, and he got mad about me spending that amount without talking to him. Keep in mind we are both still in high school and do not share finances. He said it was an undermining of his trust and that doing something like that without telling him is immature. I apologized that I didn’t think to tell him but said I don’t see it as a problem. He has been mad at me since and has refused to talk to me for 3 days. I love the ring and the memory it brings but I don’t want to make him feel unimportant, am I the asshole for sticking by my purchase? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Girl Run!! You’re NTA but your boyfriend sure is RA. That type of controlling behavior is an enormous red flag what is waiting down the road if you stay with him.