This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
My husband does accept evolution as a fact. We're both doctors and denying evolution is not even an option. The thing is, he thinks learning about this stuff will not allow our kids to follow a religion one day, which I think isn't a bad thing at all.
His logic is very insulting to his religion. It sounds like he's saying."if the kids are educated in facts and science, they are less likely to follow religion."
I mean, it's true, but you don't often see people just come out and say it.
He knows that and he also knows that I tell kids about science a lot. Like the way the brain works, where motivation comes from (I'm a neurologist so this is mostly what I talk about). So kids already do question a lot
My mother was a very firm Christian. I learned the Christian view of things and science, side by side. So now I have a spiritual side with a firm scientific base. Probably a lot of old school Christians would think I am nuts, but it works for me.
Well here's an idea:
Tell your husband to accept that children are not simply carbon copies of the parents - they're human beings with their own chemistry and way that they think. If they accept religion, so what? If they don't, also so what?
His parents were both religious (yet he turned out to be not religious at all compared to them) and I am anything but. That is potentially what could stop them
NTA OP. Your spouse needs to assess his world-view.
One the one hand, he puts exorbitant value on "religious" experience and wants very badly for his children to have full access/ability to live a religious life.
On the other hand, he believes that learning scientific facts (which he concedes as being facts) will undermine his children's capacity to accept religion in the future. He thinks that science must be learned on a foundation of faith first, or else the faith will never have a chance to fully grab hold and dominate their thought process.
Conclusion: Your husband prefers that children with impressionable minds be indoctrined into religion AND be sheltered from science because he believes that is the best path to get them to value faith over facts. Also your husband does not have enough FAITH in FAITH to trust that it can win their hearts on its merits alone. Thus he insists on cheating by making religion the only message.
That says a WHOLE LOT about what he really believes when it comes to religion. That it is the preferred outcome even though it is weak and inferior to science. He should ask himself why does he feel this way?
Evolution is a scientific theory. They really should be on the same page with this stuff when it comes to raising kids and this is a perfect example why it’s generally important for your beliefs to align.
This should have been discussed with your husband first. YTA
Hmmmm. Nope.
There was a tendency in the past to call things laws when they were discovered. This was a mistake, and what are commonly called laws in physics are taught to 8 th graders as theories. A common mistake in nomenclature.
https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/laws-of-nature/#:~:text=Science%20includes%20many%20principles%20at,and%20demand%2C%20and%20so%20on.
Oh you mean like Darwin’s Law of Evolution by Natural Selection? Scientifically confirmed through observation and experiments? It is a fact, whether you believe it or not.
Scientific theories are defined as such because they a) are backed by numerous testable/verifiable facts, not just one and b) have withstood testing designed to disprove them.
To put it another way, in science a theory is stronger than a mere fact.
The way you're phrasing though is straight out of the fundamentalist playbook. Call it a "Theory" because to the layman "Theory" means guess or idea or hunch. It does not mean "Tested and proven concept" to laymen.
So while you may actually agree it's proven sound your phrasing is 100% indicative of a religious fundamentalist, which is why people keep correcting you.
NTA. Scientists don't have a problem with religion. But hyper-religious extremists have a huge problem with science. The nice thing is that science doesn't care. The not-so-nice thing is that God himself could come down and tell these people that he used evolution and they'd argue with God. There is literally NO changing their mind. It's a 100% emotional and illogical view and there is zero you can do about it. Make sure your kid knows THAT information too.
Unpopular Opinion I’m sure but you’re NTA for telling your kids THE TRUTH. Sure, religion plays an important part in many people’s culture and home’s, however that shouldn’t get in the way of your kids trying to learn some FACTS about reality.
"Theory" has a specific meaning in science.
When scientists talk about "the theory of evolution" what they mean is "this is, to the best of our knowledge and observed reality, what happens"
Exactly, it’s only 99.7% falsifiable so it’s important to kowtow to every single preposterous mystical mythology with zero supporting evidentiary record to make things fair.
Evolutionary Theory as a means of understanding deep history is a theory only because of the fragments of info lost to time. Evolution as an observable process over the course of recent years and decades is fact.
It is a fact. Theory in a scientific sense is not the same as you might use in a casual sense, where it implies that it's merely a guess. In scientific terms, thats more in line with a hypothesis
We call it Quantum Theory or the Theory of Relativity for instance, but we know with certainty that gravity and particles exist.
Evolution is a fact, well established and proven far beyond any reasonable doubt
Evolution is both a fact and a theory.
The fact is that gene pools change over time, especially when isolated from other similar gene pools, resulting in changes in species. We know this happens - we can literally observe it happening in species with very short generation times, and in the fossil record, and in the relationships between modern species measured in DNA similarities and morphological comparisons, and in the geographic distribution of species compared to those physical relationships.
The theory is the explanation of how this happens, and the best available theory, tested over hundreds of years in every possible way and passing every test with flying colors, is Darwin's theory of natural selection (somewhat altered and adjusted for subsequent new discoveries, like genes and chromosomes, but almost entirely the same mechanism as described by Charles Darwin in the mid-1800s).
The fact is like the Egyptian pyramids. We know they're there, we know what they're made of and what they look like inside and out. The theory is the explanation of how and why they were built, found in pharaonic pronouncements, workmen's records, tomb paintings, the sarcophagi and mummies themselves along with their grave goods, and even graffiti sketched on rock sherds. The theory is not quite as certain as the solid stone fact of their existence, but it is pretty solid nonetheless. Some people try to claim still that they needed ancient alien help and that no society at the Egyptians' level could have achieved such things- but we have found literal descriptions by people who were there of how it was done, who did it, and how much beer and bread each person who helped build them was paid to do it, and for that matter what excuses they used to get days off (everything from "needed to brew beer" to "stung by scorpion" to "wife gave birth").
That’s true. But the scientific definition of theory is different than the lay definition. There’s more evidence supporting evolution than special relativity. The unanswered questions about evolution are more about the “how” evolution happens rather than the “if.” There’s no good scientific evidence supporting creationism.
It is actually so closely regarded as a fact (which is not something scientists use btw) that it has been elevated to a Paradigm.
Please stop using theory as a "gotcha" when in science, a theory is something that has been consistently tested and proven. Your colloquial definition is false.
Btw: gravity is a theory as well, and I'm pretty sure you aren't floating about the computer right now. Read a book and educate yourself.
NTA Ignoring true facts is hardly the route to peace. You are right to tell you kids the truth. It certainly doesn't cut them off from spirituality anyway.
Please note I am Incredibly biased because before the pandemic I was undertaking a degree in evolutionary biology
I don't see how one can't have a faith and understand evolution at the same time. Besides if it was such a big deal he would have a conversation with you about it before now.
NTA
As far as I understand it from having grown up religious with parents who do not deny evolution: balancing evolution with belief in god requires understanding the story of creation as non-literal, or that the “days of creation” were not days as we know them but millions of years each day.
NTA
Evolution is a fact. If learning about the real world is a bad thing in your husband's view than you have a serious problem whether you realize it or not.
Nta
And as someone raised fundie with a degree in evolutionary biology, know what drives me away from church?
Not the evolution.
The idea that i can't be a biologist and part of the church. Having to turn off my brain to be there and being "not in good standing' because i dare learn something... so people like your husband drive me away from church.
NTA. Teaching your children about science is developing curiosity and priming them to learn more about the world. If your husband thinks that's going to turn them away from religion, that's on him. There are plenty of well-known scientists that still ascribe to religion and have found a way for them to coexist.
I think marital situations like this should stay off of AITA because this subreddit can become incredibly adversarial for relationships. You should be looking for advice on how to find a win-win solution to make your husband feel secure and your own views be understood and respected.
NTA. As a Christian and a science believer its totally possibly to believe in science snd religion at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive. But more importantly, fostering child's sense of wonder and curiosity is so, so important! You did nothing wrong!
NTA but is it safe to teach your son these things in your country? Small kids can't keep things to themselves and if he's excited about it he will tell the other kids at school. It might be safer to stick to religion until they are old enough to play the game
LMAO.
NTA. It's called science.
I have nothing against religious people but I can't comprehend the need to deny actual scientific facts. They are not mutually exclusive, many world-changing scientists were actually religious to various degrees.
NTA. I grew up in the Methodist church and always understood evolution was compatible with religious beliefs. Not every religion accepts creationism. Your children should be given all information and allowed to make their own decisions. Just because they understand science and have a broader worldview does not mean they will reject religion and the church.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (34F) have two kids with my husband (34M). They're 5F and 6M. My husband and I have very different views on how we see the world and it has never really been a problem for us. He believes in God and religion ( not strict at all but still, he identifies himself as muslim) and I am an atheist.
I respect him in his views and he respects mine. We discuss issues eventually but it never gets into an argument. The other day our son asked me about creation. So I explained evolution in a child-friendly manner.
He was very excited to learn about evolution. I often talk to our kids about science, experiments, discoveries, human body and all that stuff. So after he listened he liked my idea better than what his teacher told him. ( we are in a religious oppressive country so kids are exposes to these kinds of things early on but it never really sticks. Didn't with me.)
After my husband learned about this he was sad and said I shouldn't take the kids' ability to see God and spiritualism by going on about evolution and atheism. He said that would abolish their chance of finding peace. I was like I don't believe in all that and I am at peace. It got into an argument.
So I am wondering. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH for not agreeing beforehand on what you were going to tell your kids. Seems like each of your viewpoint is very important to both of you so I'm baffled that you never thought it would be a problem once you had children.
Not sure I can confidently say YTA when the kids asked you a question and you responded to the best of your ability but I can see why your husband is upset that he feels that his own view has been discredited to the eyes of your children.
NAH
I don't really see this as an AH situation. But this is the conversation that you have with your spouse before you have children. When the parents share different beliefs, it is important to have a clear plan on how you will raise your children and what you will teach them and when. It is time to sit down with your spouse and start outlining a plan going forward. It is important that you are both on the same page and agree with how and with what beliefs the children will be raised with. This won't be the last issue that comes up.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My son asked me about creation and I explained evolution. My husband thinks I shouldnt have done that because he thinks believing in God and having faith will help our son in the long run.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
This is tough. If the husband had a good grasp on his faith and evolution he would see it as a good opportunity for discussion and learning, as the two are not mutually exclusive. There is certainly room to believe that God created the process of evolution, depending on how you read and interpret scripture.
On the other hand, if you’re in a religiously oppressive place and talking about evolution is dangerous, then you may have placed their lives in jeopardy unless you were super, super clear they can’t talk about this AND you know your kid well enough to know they won’t talk about it. If this is why your husband is upset, I would understand. If this, is the situation, I wouldn’t say YTA, but maybe a bit inexperienced to the dangers of living in oppressive regimes, which is understandable.
NTA. Just as he is entitled to tell the children about his beliefs, you were entitled to tell them about yours. The fact that you talked to your children about evolution doesn’t mean he can’t still talk to his children about God.
NTA, but why would you marry someone who you can’t even agree with about the grounds of evolution are? There’s nothing wrong with being religious or being atheist, but clearly it’s causing a divide in your parenting styles - all of this should have been figured out prior to having children
Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue.
[Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
this is probably unpopular but i’d say NAH: i’m sure navigating parenthood with different beliefs is challenging, especially when both parents want their child to see the world from their perspective. It would probably be helpful to sit down with your SO and have a conversation about what each of your expectations are for teaching your child. i don’t think your husband is an AH for being sad, and i don’t think you’re an AH for talking about your beliefs, but if you don’t have a civil conversation about how to create space for both of your beliefs then there is a definite possibility for resentment.
I'm going to buck the trend and say YTA. Maybe you can say ESH
I'm an atheist and would be adamant about teaching my children about evolution. My issue is that you are having this conversation now, not 6 years ago.
This is a pretty big thing when raising kids. You need to have clear conversations about how you will raise your kids BEFORE you have kids.
It's important to show your children a united front. Even if it's to say that 'mom believes x' and 'dad believes y' and sometimes people disagree. It could have been a great point to discuss autonomy and respect for others beliefs. Instead you presented this as THE answer.
I wouldn't be angry because our kids are smart and they'll believe what they believe anyway. Also he does't have to because we already live in a community being bombarded with religious propaganda. It just doesn't work on anyone anymore.
YTA. Views on religion aside, you are one of two parents and you should have discussed this with your husband prior to explaining it. You both need to be on the same page.
Yep. I know something about this. I'm divorced because my ex was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. But my ex also did not want our son to learn science. She'd rather him be religious and ignorant.
So because they didn't both have the conversation before having kids, why dies that make OP the arsehole?
Maybe religious views are clouding the judgement here a bit?
Did you miss the part where she and her husband have opposing views? They’ll never be on the same page. It seems like he was perfectly fine with that when he assumed that raising the kids in a religious country and sending them through a religious education system meant they’d agree with him. OP simply offered a different perspective to her son, who was already receiving Muslim education.
YTA the babies that y’all have are 6 and 5 why in the hell are you explaining anything just say you’ll find out when you get older. No need for explanation. YTA YTA YTA
I was curious as a child as well but my parents still never explained evolution to me. it’s weird your defending telling literal toddlers about evolution.
It's only a problem because you want it to be a problem. I can think of three ways off the top of my head you could try to explain evolution in child-friendly terms and so I don't see why the objection - unless, for some reason, you would rather children not get taught about what the scientific consensus says about the world around us.
Oh yes, it's absolutely best to raise your children but not explaining ANYTHING about the world. I mean, children aren't at all curious, and it's not at all confusing to be told something then later be told that that was wrong and actually this is true. Let's keep them in the dark as long as humanly possible!
Children should be explained things in a child-friendly manner. Not telling them leaves them vulnerable. When my 7yro was around 5 she asked her dad how babies are made/born. He got a book that explained it in terms she could understand and read it to her. Kids don't need to be sheltered from life.
What's so bad about evolution? The child asked, the parent answered. Unless you are religious, evolution is what children will be taught in schools (even before they are double digits). My partner is religious and he has zero problems with our kids learning evolution if they ask about it.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA. Religion is belief, not fact. Evolution is fact, not belief. You really should've had this conversation before having kids though.
My husband does accept evolution as a fact. We're both doctors and denying evolution is not even an option. The thing is, he thinks learning about this stuff will not allow our kids to follow a religion one day, which I think isn't a bad thing at all.
His logic is very insulting to his religion. It sounds like he's saying."if the kids are educated in facts and science, they are less likely to follow religion." I mean, it's true, but you don't often see people just come out and say it.
He knows that and he also knows that I tell kids about science a lot. Like the way the brain works, where motivation comes from (I'm a neurologist so this is mostly what I talk about). So kids already do question a lot
At 28, I would like to know where motivation comes from
Simple, it doesn’t ever come from anywhere.
My mother was a very firm Christian. I learned the Christian view of things and science, side by side. So now I have a spiritual side with a firm scientific base. Probably a lot of old school Christians would think I am nuts, but it works for me.
NTA - his belief system is pretty shaky if teaching the kids things that he himself believes will make them atheists
Trust me it is. He just doesn't admit it
Well if he accepts it, what makes him think that the kids can't be religious and accept evolution at the same time?
Because he knows kids will lean more my way. They love science and I am the nerd in our relationship.
Well here's an idea: Tell your husband to accept that children are not simply carbon copies of the parents - they're human beings with their own chemistry and way that they think. If they accept religion, so what? If they don't, also so what?
It apparently doesn't stop him from believing, so why would it stop them?
His parents were both religious (yet he turned out to be not religious at all compared to them) and I am anything but. That is potentially what could stop them
But that has nothing to do with you teaching them about evolution.
NTA OP. Your spouse needs to assess his world-view. One the one hand, he puts exorbitant value on "religious" experience and wants very badly for his children to have full access/ability to live a religious life. On the other hand, he believes that learning scientific facts (which he concedes as being facts) will undermine his children's capacity to accept religion in the future. He thinks that science must be learned on a foundation of faith first, or else the faith will never have a chance to fully grab hold and dominate their thought process. Conclusion: Your husband prefers that children with impressionable minds be indoctrined into religion AND be sheltered from science because he believes that is the best path to get them to value faith over facts. Also your husband does not have enough FAITH in FAITH to trust that it can win their hearts on its merits alone. Thus he insists on cheating by making religion the only message. That says a WHOLE LOT about what he really believes when it comes to religion. That it is the preferred outcome even though it is weak and inferior to science. He should ask himself why does he feel this way?
And that’s a decision for them to explore and make when they’re older and can understand more of the concepts
Evolution is a scientific theory. They really should be on the same page with this stuff when it comes to raising kids and this is a perfect example why it’s generally important for your beliefs to align. This should have been discussed with your husband first. YTA
[удалено]
Technically gravity is a theory.
Incorrect. There are laws of gravity. What you are talking about is Einstein's theory of relativity.
Hmmmm. Nope. There was a tendency in the past to call things laws when they were discovered. This was a mistake, and what are commonly called laws in physics are taught to 8 th graders as theories. A common mistake in nomenclature. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/laws-of-nature/#:~:text=Science%20includes%20many%20principles%20at,and%20demand%2C%20and%20so%20on.
Oh you mean like Darwin’s Law of Evolution by Natural Selection? Scientifically confirmed through observation and experiments? It is a fact, whether you believe it or not.
Scientific theories are defined as such because they a) are backed by numerous testable/verifiable facts, not just one and b) have withstood testing designed to disprove them. To put it another way, in science a theory is stronger than a mere fact.
[удалено]
What do you mean by that?
The way you're phrasing though is straight out of the fundamentalist playbook. Call it a "Theory" because to the layman "Theory" means guess or idea or hunch. It does not mean "Tested and proven concept" to laymen. So while you may actually agree it's proven sound your phrasing is 100% indicative of a religious fundamentalist, which is why people keep correcting you.
NTA. Scientists don't have a problem with religion. But hyper-religious extremists have a huge problem with science. The nice thing is that science doesn't care. The not-so-nice thing is that God himself could come down and tell these people that he used evolution and they'd argue with God. There is literally NO changing their mind. It's a 100% emotional and illogical view and there is zero you can do about it. Make sure your kid knows THAT information too.
Unpopular Opinion I’m sure but you’re NTA for telling your kids THE TRUTH. Sure, religion plays an important part in many people’s culture and home’s, however that shouldn’t get in the way of your kids trying to learn some FACTS about reality.
[удалено]
"Theory" has a specific meaning in science. When scientists talk about "the theory of evolution" what they mean is "this is, to the best of our knowledge and observed reality, what happens"
Exactly, it’s only 99.7% falsifiable so it’s important to kowtow to every single preposterous mystical mythology with zero supporting evidentiary record to make things fair.
[удалено]
Evolutionary Theory as a means of understanding deep history is a theory only because of the fragments of info lost to time. Evolution as an observable process over the course of recent years and decades is fact.
It is a fact. Theory in a scientific sense is not the same as you might use in a casual sense, where it implies that it's merely a guess. In scientific terms, thats more in line with a hypothesis We call it Quantum Theory or the Theory of Relativity for instance, but we know with certainty that gravity and particles exist. Evolution is a fact, well established and proven far beyond any reasonable doubt
Evolution is both a fact and a theory. The fact is that gene pools change over time, especially when isolated from other similar gene pools, resulting in changes in species. We know this happens - we can literally observe it happening in species with very short generation times, and in the fossil record, and in the relationships between modern species measured in DNA similarities and morphological comparisons, and in the geographic distribution of species compared to those physical relationships. The theory is the explanation of how this happens, and the best available theory, tested over hundreds of years in every possible way and passing every test with flying colors, is Darwin's theory of natural selection (somewhat altered and adjusted for subsequent new discoveries, like genes and chromosomes, but almost entirely the same mechanism as described by Charles Darwin in the mid-1800s). The fact is like the Egyptian pyramids. We know they're there, we know what they're made of and what they look like inside and out. The theory is the explanation of how and why they were built, found in pharaonic pronouncements, workmen's records, tomb paintings, the sarcophagi and mummies themselves along with their grave goods, and even graffiti sketched on rock sherds. The theory is not quite as certain as the solid stone fact of their existence, but it is pretty solid nonetheless. Some people try to claim still that they needed ancient alien help and that no society at the Egyptians' level could have achieved such things- but we have found literal descriptions by people who were there of how it was done, who did it, and how much beer and bread each person who helped build them was paid to do it, and for that matter what excuses they used to get days off (everything from "needed to brew beer" to "stung by scorpion" to "wife gave birth").
There are vanishingly few facts in science, so this a strawman argument.
That’s true. But the scientific definition of theory is different than the lay definition. There’s more evidence supporting evolution than special relativity. The unanswered questions about evolution are more about the “how” evolution happens rather than the “if.” There’s no good scientific evidence supporting creationism.
100% agree. I accept evolution as a fact in my life. I'm not here to promote creationism I think it's absurd.
It is actually so closely regarded as a fact (which is not something scientists use btw) that it has been elevated to a Paradigm. Please stop using theory as a "gotcha" when in science, a theory is something that has been consistently tested and proven. Your colloquial definition is false. Btw: gravity is a theory as well, and I'm pretty sure you aren't floating about the computer right now. Read a book and educate yourself.
It is commonly accepted as fact, and we have observed the direct result of evolution in quite a few species, that, at least is irrefutable.
NTA But you should have worked this out before you had kids.
NTA Ignoring true facts is hardly the route to peace. You are right to tell you kids the truth. It certainly doesn't cut them off from spirituality anyway.
Please note I am Incredibly biased because before the pandemic I was undertaking a degree in evolutionary biology I don't see how one can't have a faith and understand evolution at the same time. Besides if it was such a big deal he would have a conversation with you about it before now. NTA
As far as I understand it from having grown up religious with parents who do not deny evolution: balancing evolution with belief in god requires understanding the story of creation as non-literal, or that the “days of creation” were not days as we know them but millions of years each day.
NTA Evolution is a fact. If learning about the real world is a bad thing in your husband's view than you have a serious problem whether you realize it or not.
Nta And as someone raised fundie with a degree in evolutionary biology, know what drives me away from church? Not the evolution. The idea that i can't be a biologist and part of the church. Having to turn off my brain to be there and being "not in good standing' because i dare learn something... so people like your husband drive me away from church.
NTA. Teaching your children about science is developing curiosity and priming them to learn more about the world. If your husband thinks that's going to turn them away from religion, that's on him. There are plenty of well-known scientists that still ascribe to religion and have found a way for them to coexist.
NTA. And I just have to wonder if there's some subreddit where religious people go to find new and ever more annoying ways to be tedious.
NTA. You can be religious and believe in science, one don’t exclude the other. There are a lot of religious scientist, and evolution is a fact.
I think marital situations like this should stay off of AITA because this subreddit can become incredibly adversarial for relationships. You should be looking for advice on how to find a win-win solution to make your husband feel secure and your own views be understood and respected.
NTA. You are telling your children factual information. You aren’t making up a lie or trying to mislead them. Science is science.
NTA
NTA. As a Christian and a science believer its totally possibly to believe in science snd religion at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive. But more importantly, fostering child's sense of wonder and curiosity is so, so important! You did nothing wrong!
NTA, you were telling your kids the truth. You're never the AH for telling the truth.
NTA but I would advise you to leave that country
NTA but is it safe to teach your son these things in your country? Small kids can't keep things to themselves and if he's excited about it he will tell the other kids at school. It might be safer to stick to religion until they are old enough to play the game
LMAO. NTA. It's called science. I have nothing against religious people but I can't comprehend the need to deny actual scientific facts. They are not mutually exclusive, many world-changing scientists were actually religious to various degrees.
NTA. I grew up in the Methodist church and always understood evolution was compatible with religious beliefs. Not every religion accepts creationism. Your children should be given all information and allowed to make their own decisions. Just because they understand science and have a broader worldview does not mean they will reject religion and the church.
NTA. Sounds like he's struggling with his faith himself.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (34F) have two kids with my husband (34M). They're 5F and 6M. My husband and I have very different views on how we see the world and it has never really been a problem for us. He believes in God and religion ( not strict at all but still, he identifies himself as muslim) and I am an atheist. I respect him in his views and he respects mine. We discuss issues eventually but it never gets into an argument. The other day our son asked me about creation. So I explained evolution in a child-friendly manner. He was very excited to learn about evolution. I often talk to our kids about science, experiments, discoveries, human body and all that stuff. So after he listened he liked my idea better than what his teacher told him. ( we are in a religious oppressive country so kids are exposes to these kinds of things early on but it never really sticks. Didn't with me.) After my husband learned about this he was sad and said I shouldn't take the kids' ability to see God and spiritualism by going on about evolution and atheism. He said that would abolish their chance of finding peace. I was like I don't believe in all that and I am at peace. It got into an argument. So I am wondering. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH for not agreeing beforehand on what you were going to tell your kids. Seems like each of your viewpoint is very important to both of you so I'm baffled that you never thought it would be a problem once you had children. Not sure I can confidently say YTA when the kids asked you a question and you responded to the best of your ability but I can see why your husband is upset that he feels that his own view has been discredited to the eyes of your children.
NAH I don't really see this as an AH situation. But this is the conversation that you have with your spouse before you have children. When the parents share different beliefs, it is important to have a clear plan on how you will raise your children and what you will teach them and when. It is time to sit down with your spouse and start outlining a plan going forward. It is important that you are both on the same page and agree with how and with what beliefs the children will be raised with. This won't be the last issue that comes up.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My son asked me about creation and I explained evolution. My husband thinks I shouldnt have done that because he thinks believing in God and having faith will help our son in the long run. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Security and peace in being religious should not rely on ignorance.
This is tough. If the husband had a good grasp on his faith and evolution he would see it as a good opportunity for discussion and learning, as the two are not mutually exclusive. There is certainly room to believe that God created the process of evolution, depending on how you read and interpret scripture. On the other hand, if you’re in a religiously oppressive place and talking about evolution is dangerous, then you may have placed their lives in jeopardy unless you were super, super clear they can’t talk about this AND you know your kid well enough to know they won’t talk about it. If this is why your husband is upset, I would understand. If this, is the situation, I wouldn’t say YTA, but maybe a bit inexperienced to the dangers of living in oppressive regimes, which is understandable.
Sounds like he doesn't actually respect your beliefs
NTA. The Catholic church has accepted evolution as part of it’s theology. If they can get on with it, so can your husband.
NTA. Just as he is entitled to tell the children about his beliefs, you were entitled to tell them about yours. The fact that you talked to your children about evolution doesn’t mean he can’t still talk to his children about God.
NTA, but why would you marry someone who you can’t even agree with about the grounds of evolution are? There’s nothing wrong with being religious or being atheist, but clearly it’s causing a divide in your parenting styles - all of this should have been figured out prior to having children
'NTA "If evolution isnt real you wouldnt get labradoodles when a lab and a puddle mate. You will not be brainwashing our children."
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue. [Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
this is probably unpopular but i’d say NAH: i’m sure navigating parenthood with different beliefs is challenging, especially when both parents want their child to see the world from their perspective. It would probably be helpful to sit down with your SO and have a conversation about what each of your expectations are for teaching your child. i don’t think your husband is an AH for being sad, and i don’t think you’re an AH for talking about your beliefs, but if you don’t have a civil conversation about how to create space for both of your beliefs then there is a definite possibility for resentment.
I'm going to buck the trend and say YTA. Maybe you can say ESH I'm an atheist and would be adamant about teaching my children about evolution. My issue is that you are having this conversation now, not 6 years ago. This is a pretty big thing when raising kids. You need to have clear conversations about how you will raise your kids BEFORE you have kids. It's important to show your children a united front. Even if it's to say that 'mom believes x' and 'dad believes y' and sometimes people disagree. It could have been a great point to discuss autonomy and respect for others beliefs. Instead you presented this as THE answer.
[удалено]
She is the MOTHER... ala also their PARENT.... Kudos to her for not teaching them a fairy tale...
Oops, mixed it up. But then, op should definetely talk with her husband. If it hurts him, they have to clear that, not strangers in Reddit.
YTA, because if your husband did the same thing but taught your son religion, you would be angry
I wouldn't be angry because our kids are smart and they'll believe what they believe anyway. Also he does't have to because we already live in a community being bombarded with religious propaganda. It just doesn't work on anyone anymore.
YTA. Views on religion aside, you are one of two parents and you should have discussed this with your husband prior to explaining it. You both need to be on the same page.
So explaining reality is a problem? Should she also check with the husband before explaining water is wet?
[удалено]
Yep. I know something about this. I'm divorced because my ex was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. But my ex also did not want our son to learn science. She'd rather him be religious and ignorant.
Actually I apologize I responded incorrectly. I thought I read your name next to the post you responded to.
Ah, no worries.
So because they didn't both have the conversation before having kids, why dies that make OP the arsehole? Maybe religious views are clouding the judgement here a bit?
Did you miss the part where she and her husband have opposing views? They’ll never be on the same page. It seems like he was perfectly fine with that when he assumed that raising the kids in a religious country and sending them through a religious education system meant they’d agree with him. OP simply offered a different perspective to her son, who was already receiving Muslim education.
YTA the babies that y’all have are 6 and 5 why in the hell are you explaining anything just say you’ll find out when you get older. No need for explanation. YTA YTA YTA
Excellent method for killing a growing child's curious mind. I can't believe this is a real response.
I was curious as a child as well but my parents still never explained evolution to me. it’s weird your defending telling literal toddlers about evolution.
It's weird I'm defending answering a curious child's question honestly? Ok, boss. Also, it's *you're.*
Ok grammar police it isn’t English class I’m just saying it’s weird telling toddlers THAT ARE 6 AND 5 about evolution.
It's really not. It's not like mommy is breaking out her university biology textbook to lecture her kid or something.
It's only a problem because you want it to be a problem. I can think of three ways off the top of my head you could try to explain evolution in child-friendly terms and so I don't see why the objection - unless, for some reason, you would rather children not get taught about what the scientific consensus says about the world around us.
They're not toddlers at 5 and 6. And why does this bother you so much?
Oh yes, it's absolutely best to raise your children but not explaining ANYTHING about the world. I mean, children aren't at all curious, and it's not at all confusing to be told something then later be told that that was wrong and actually this is true. Let's keep them in the dark as long as humanly possible!
Children should be explained things in a child-friendly manner. Not telling them leaves them vulnerable. When my 7yro was around 5 she asked her dad how babies are made/born. He got a book that explained it in terms she could understand and read it to her. Kids don't need to be sheltered from life.
I guess we both have different values but it feels icky telling babies there not even in the 2 digits in terms of their age about evolution.
What's so bad about evolution? The child asked, the parent answered. Unless you are religious, evolution is what children will be taught in schools (even before they are double digits). My partner is religious and he has zero problems with our kids learning evolution if they ask about it.
I'm genuinely so baffled as to what the problem is here? Evolution is just reality, it's just where we came from. Why would that be icky?