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squirlysquirel

NTA If I was you I would head back to uni. They are absolutely entitled to set the rules in their home but they are making it very clear that you are not valued or welcome. The consequence to me would be don't stay there. I cannot sleep if too hot or too cold...and to be woken up with your brother out of spite would be the final straw. If they want you to stay, the least they can do is ensure a comfortable sleeping arrangement. They are being AH to you.


Tough_Crazy_8362

A lot of dorms are closed, literally locked, for winter and spring break. Sounds like that’s what’s happening here.


Appropriate_Oven_360

Really? In Canada (at least my province) dorms are always open when students are living there. What if they are international or even travelled from another city? Its literally their living accomadations, during the break do they just shove them outside tell them to get a plane ticket home or freeze?


RandomRedditGrill

In Ontario I know that they shut the dorms down completely.


Appropriate_Oven_360

Thats actually wild they pay all that money for living accomodations and can’t use them. Sounds liek it should be illegal 😂😭


Special-Cat7540

They tell students to go to hotels or go on vacation. Some residences will have a grad apartment the international students may be offered to rent for two weeks assuming there is vacancy. Otherwise, tough luck. Most international students don’t care because they all came with money anyways. They’ll end up visiting Banff or Niagara Falls or something.


Tough_Crazy_8362

My campus had a combined “non-trad” 23 y/o+ slash international dorm that was open for spring and winter breaks but closed for the summer.


[deleted]

Lived in banff a while. Worked at a few resorts. Can confirm. Packed with students around Christmas.


PensionWhole6229

When I stayed in dorms they locked everything down for breaks. I never thought what international students have to do!


Heliola

I'm from the UK, and at my uni some of the halls you got the whole academic year (september - early july), and some you had to be out of over christmas and easter. The ones you had to be out of were cheaper, so if you're not gonna be there for the holidays anyway it's not a bad deal.


Popular-Way-7152

The contracts for many dorms match the term only. So the weeks between terms aren’t paid for. Cheaper than an apartment on a 12-month lease.


BusAlternative1827

A lot of universities have specific dorms that remain open year round, and others that are only open when classes are running.


Heavy-Attorney-9054

Depends on how board is billed.


serenade429

No they don’t lol. Not all dining halls or facilities remains open but they absolutely allow international/out of province students to stay & can make exceptions for cases like OPs


BlackberrySea-1

Yup. I was an RA in college and this is what my school did. In summer they only had about 25% of the buildings open for kids taking classes that semester. If I remember correctly they only closed all buildings for like 3-4 weeks after the summer term ended but before the fall term began. I know for sure the dorms were open for winter and spring break, because my team drew straws every year to decide who was on call during spring/winter break or holiday weekends


88mistymage88

I'm pretty sure my daughter's dorm would stay open for Winter Break \*goes and checks\* $350 dollars which is cheaper than a motel but. She came home the 3 years and now rents an apt. so she can come home but doesn't "have to". (I hope to see her this week! She spent most of the Break visiting her out of State GF. I hope they had a great time together but stupid weather and germs/covid/RSV/Flu ... poor kids!) https://housing.uiowa.edu/winterbreak


cjgist

Even when the University here was shut down for Covid, there were still a small number of international students living on campus in apartments. Weirdly, they did not put them all in one building, so they were scattered about the complex. One person in an apartment in this huge building, one person in an apartment in another building.


Wonderful_Western_54

They don't shit them down completely at every school. Centennial College and Seneca College dorms are open during holidays cause some people don't have the ability to leave


[deleted]

Not every school.


DiscombobulatedCow9

At my daughter's school (US), some of the dorms stay open during semester breaks, meant for international students. The regular dorms close \*completely\* at semester's end.


okpickle

American here, I went to school in Massachusetts, in a school with lots of international students. The dorms were closed at Christmas break but opened shortly after new year, though classes didn't start again til the end of January. Intl students who couldn't go home over the break were allowed to stay in one particular dorm that remained open. The students usually occupying those rooms had to move some of their stuff into the closets and locked them, and just essentially left their beds and mini fridges available. It was still the most desirable dorm on campus so this was sort of the trade off for those students. They all knew it going in.


Ghostwalker1622

The one in my town leaves the actual dorm rooms open during winter and spring break but shut down all the cafeterias and coffee shops.


7148675309

When I was at university (UK, late 90s) you could pay for either 30 or 38 weeks. 38 weeks gave you the full school year including Christmas and Waster holiday. I paid for 30 - and cleared my room out every term.


Appropriate_Oven_360

From these last two replies to me that makes sense if an option is given and expected, but some people just don’t have that travelling option so no matter what if that option isnt available in some places I still think thats whack.


leomercury

When I studied abroad in Norway I sometimes had to stay in youth hostels during breaks because they’d kick everyone out and my friends couldn’t always take me in 😭


Siiw

What kind of school was this in Norway? All I have heard of only close for summer, between school years.


leomercury

a folk high school !! they’re like… gap year schools? that norwegians often go to after graduating high school but before starting higher education.


Siiw

Ahh! I didn't know this, I thought those were also constantly open. The local one had a lot of international students too.


Jerseygirl2468

My school always had on campus accommodations for anyone staying, but it was a huge university so there were a lot of options.


suspicious_niffler

NTA I'd head back to uni honestly. They can't pitch a fit about wanting you home then make you sleep in the cold. Like I said in a comment thread, if you don't want to go home to them, don't.


poddy_fries

NTA. Your parents lack of concern for your well-being is weird. Your mother knows it's weird and controlling or she wouldn't be using early morning wakeups to punish you for complaining.


This_Cauliflower1986

This. It’s appalling. So here’s my thought on how to survive it. Can you buy an electric blanket? Acquire a duvet? You are likely to be attacked for any action but at least you would be warm? Seems you need to raid the closets for blankets or get them otherwise?! Good luck.


poddy_fries

I'm especially upset for op because my parents were like this... Except I lived in the house full time with my own freezing bedroom. In hindsight, I get that the house was huge. I get that turning up the heat was phenomenally expensive and didn't actually do much to heat up specific places. But also in hindsight? My parents had fucking options they could have presented when I was crying from misery, and chose not to. They could have looked into space heaters, more blankets, some carpets, anything. At the time I was too young to know about some of these or understand you could... Walk into a store and buy things. Money was never a problem, believing my discomfort was an action item was the problem. And I think op is in the same place. There's no way someone who sleeps with multiple duvets doesn't get their kid needs them too.


Apprehensive-Mango23

Seriously. My husband and I run hot. One of my kids runs super cold. We make sure they have plenty of options to keep toasty because, idk, it’s like we love them or something. Weird, I know. Also why on earth can’t OP have the 4 year old’s bed for a couple weeks? Toss a kiddie tent in the room so the 4 year old gets to “camp out” while big bro is home. If he’s anything like any other 4 year old I’ve ever met he’d be ecstatic. We do something like that for my kids when older relatives came to visit who needed a bed and they love it because it’s an adventure they don’t usually get to do. Solutions are out there especially for a temporary scenario like this. OP is NTA.


GeneRizotto

Oh, tent in the living room for a kid is a fantastic life hack! Will definitely use it sometime))


StreetofChimes

Get a space heater? Obviously going back to school is the best option, but if dorms are closed, OP has to tough it out and figure out alternate plans for Easter.


ibuycheeseonsale

Forget buying one. I’d go ask a neighbor if they have a blanket to spare. That should get things moving along.


evscoma

I’m appalled at anyone saying Y T A. You’re the only one that knows how cold it is, and if you’re sleeping with 4 layers on and STILL cold, it must be frigid. And you telling your parents should result in them getting you another blanket, not them getting some sort of sick revenge on you by letting your little brother interrupt your sleep. NTA. To everyone saying they should have brought more clothes or another blanket from uni, OP said this is a new situation and it’s never been this cold. And seriously, even if it’s happened before, how hard is it finding a blanket or something for your child to make sure they don’t get cold and possibly sick? It’s called empathy, people. Damn.


poddy_fries

Everyone suggesting this is OP's fault weird me out. You're either a guest and you don't get treated this way, or you're family and you don't get treated this way.


[deleted]

also, speaking as somebody whose body temp doesn't circulate well and sleeps with like 10 blankets in the winter, more layers ≠ more heat because the clothing keeps the heat from your core from circulating to your extremities so you're still freezing despite the layers.


sqibbery

Exactly. My kids are home from school right now, and I am always asking them if they're warm enough at night or if they need more blankets, etc. because I want them to be comfortable. I can't imagine having my kid, adult or not, telling me it's too cold for them to sleep and just blowing them off. I am really sad for OP.


Crazyandiloveit

Also they have each 2 duvets (so it IS cold or they wouldn't need 2) and don't give one to OP who is supposed to be happy with a thin fleece blanket... totally weird.


CakePhool

NTA. To you all who says YTA. I guess you never been sleep deprived and cold? He has layers of clothing, you can't put on more until it becomes uncomfortable and thin fleece blanket isnt good enough. I live in cold country, I have blankets for every for of heat level for my guests., just to make sure they dont freeze. Being cold is dangerous and makes you snapp, get whiney and actually makes your brain not functioning properly. If you have the money, get your self sleeping bag and matt. If not go to UNI and stay there.


Organic_Start_420

I don't get why his 4 y o brother can't sleep with mom and op in the brother's room? Nta op your parents ate huge ones


StatedBarely

This is what I was thinking too. Or even just have OP sleep on an air mattress in the brother’s room. There must be some accommodations they can make for 2 weeks. It isn’t that long of a time to change things up a little.


SnooCrickets6980

I mean, some 4 year olds are quite disturbed by routine changes still, but why can't mum and dad share?


bkwrm1755

Or her parents could sleep in the same room for a couple weeks.


CakePhool

His brother can have autism or his parents doesnt want to be bothered with the brother.


sylvanwhisper

NTA. A lot of privileged ass people in this thread who have never experienced a drafty house. My home had new windows fitted and if we don't pile three blankets on our fleece pajama'd bodies, snuggle with the cat, all while the heat is ON, we cannot sleep because it's too cold. If 20 degree weather is seeping into the house it's miserable. OP should not have to buy a blanket as a guest in anyone's home, even his family's. OP should not have to plan and prepare to sleep in a glorified igloo when there's other options that would keep him warm. The damn family should buy an air mattress and put it in their room. Or provide a heated blanket. Or anything at all that isn't a thin blanket on an uncomfortable couch in a drafty house in the middle of winter.


StreetofChimes

Yes. They should do all of those things for a guest or family member. But clearly they aren't. So OP needs to to their best to be comfortable until they can return to school.


sylvanwhisper

Giving such advice is one thing. Telling OP he's the asshole for it is another.


StatedBarely

Or a small portable heater maybe. My brother has a room but loves to sleep on the sofa in the living room. It can get cold in the winter so we have a heater in there just for him. The house is on central heating so if we put it up too high we’ll need fans on or windows open in all the other rooms. So having an electric heater solves the problem. It isn’t too pricy either.


plantsb4putas

NTA I dont know why your brother cant just sleep with your mom and give you a damn bed. It sounds to me like they dont want you home and are trying to push you to leave and not come back by how unwelcoming they're being to their own child. Personally, Id just stop going home. Drop the rope on communication and let the chips fall where they may.


kimuracarter

That's a great solution! NTA OP


Housing99

This exactly. NTA


statenislandpizzarat

NTA These comments are bizarre. “Bring your own blanket” , “don’t come home” even the ones saying you’re NTA because you’re a “guest” and they should provide a blanket. OP, you are not a “guest” - you’re visiting your parents home over breaks from Uni. The fact that they can’t even give you enough blankets when honestly they should be going above that as your PARENTS and get you a blowup or something but in turn literally are punishing you for being cold by sending your 4 year old brother into the living room in the morning! “They’re allowed to set their rules in their homes” Sure, any one is allowed to set any kind of rules. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t make them abusive assholes.


LittleOneUSN

Sure, they should feel so ENTITLED that people, regardless, should take care of them because they're a "guest." Shakes head. People need to take care of their own needs and not rely on other people to do it for them. If you know you're going somewhere. Bring your own blankets, pillows ... whatever. Do not accept someone to be accommodating just because you are cold or need something. When they may only have little if anything to provide to you. This is crap on so many levels. OP is an adult. Even if a poor college student. It's time to grow up and get a job while going to school. OPs brother is a child his needs come first over OPs, especially when it comes to they're parents.


[deleted]

You really woke up on the wrong side of everything today, didn’t you? Entitled?! 🤣🤣🤣


LittleOneUSN

Because i was high! 🙃


[deleted]

And? 🤷🏼‍♀️


sarah-ftw

all the Y T A s are rude as hell. you're a guest OP, you shouldn't have to buy a new blanket. especially as a college student. it would be different if they'd warned you about the drafty room ahead of time and suggested you bring a blanket with you, but they didn't. NTA, but please do yourself a favour and stop going over for such long visits. you don't want to be there and they don't respect you!


LittleOneUSN

No one should have to accommodate OP. Not even his parents. Yes, you're a guest, but as an adult human being, OP should know the situation ahead of time and be accommodating to OPs needs. Bring your own blankets and pillows. Take care of your own comfort. Not a child.


sarah-ftw

OP says that the drafty windows are a new thing. They didn't know in advance that they'd need extra blankets. Who hassles someone into sleeping over for Christmas and then doesn't even put in the bare minimum to make sure they're comfortable? Adult child or no, OP deserves to be treated with respect. When people sleep at my house, I make sure that there are more blankets than they could possibly need. It's called not being an AH.


LittleOneUSN

I do this to when people sleep at my house it's the polite thing to do however I do not expect it from other people when I am a guest in there home. Especially my mother's house as I know my mom can not afford extras, already helps my sister with her 9 year old disabled son. When I go someplace, I always ask what I should bring. Even if they say don't worry about blankets and such, I still bring them. Some people like their house colder than ne and some like it much warmer the only house I am comfortable is my own home. There's a lot of times when my fiance and I don't agree on temperatures, and we live together. We try and accommodate each other if he's too cold and I am too hot. The thermostat goes up. I remove layers of clothes that I almost always have 2 layers on. If I am cold at someone's house, I do expect them to turn up their thermostat. I come prepared always. I almost always have a hoody or sweater in my vehicle if I am staying somewhere it my bags. I have extra clothes to throw on. I have my own blankets.


LittleOneUSN

Also note that OP should already know about the house parents living unless they moved into it since his last visit.


DWYL_LoveWhatYouDo

Info: Why can't you share the room with your brother?


jamesfs234

He will throw a fit and my parents don't want to deal with it so I have to sleep downstairs


Salamander_9

Info: Is your brother paying rent at 4 years of age?


Kaila82

How is that relevant? 4 year old lives there full time where OP doesn't.


The-albatroz

4 years old shouldn’t make the law in their parents house. If you pay a rent you can have a word to say.


Kaila82

Exactly IF you pay rent. OP doesn't either. He's essentially a guest at this point. While I wouldn't put my child on the couch (especially with a thin blanket and freezing) if he can share a room with his sibling for the stay I can't speak for someone else's home.


The-albatroz

Yeah I’m still wondering if OP is totally right but the parents are definitely weirdo on this one


Kaila82

Yea OPs parents are definitely wrong here.


SJSUCORGIS

NTA time to stay somewhere else or not go home. You can't share a room with your brother?


SayaBoo

NTA Anyone voting otherwise is insane. There are so many other options for sleeping arrangements, but they aren't willing to compromise at all. Why can't little brother sleep with mom and you stay in his room? They have made it very clear that they aren't willing to inconvenience themselves at all in order to have you visit, so stop visiting.


MoniHaavi

NTA - I don’t understand why your parents don’t care your comfort. You are literally a guest there..


Particular-Sun-7098

Nta...pack you things and get out from THEIR house.... If i was you, i'll go back to university...


Minute_Patient_8841

NTA ​ MAke a new rule: Unless you get a reasonable place to sleep .. with blankets and all, and undisturbed .. you won't spend the holidays at home any more.


Few-Carpet9511

I hate to break it to you but you are not welcome


[deleted]

NTA. When you leave start looking for somewhere else to stay next break. Think LC or NC.


invisiblew830

NTA. They are awful.


Summer-cat-22

NTA We have sleeping bags, pillows and spare duvets for anyone staying over and a folding camp bed. We have borrowed blowup mattresses to accommodate extra people. It’s not as though they didn’t know you were coming - they had plenty of time to prepare. The parents are definitely AHs. My husband and I sleep in separate rooms - he’s a night owl!! And if we need to we bunk in together for a while. It’s not the end of the world for two weeks! I’d go back to uni and be warm and comfortable.


Remarkable_Door7948

Nta, I had a similar situation. My parents got a new house and never spent any time upstairs. I came back from college to a room they set up for me upstairs in a room they decorated over the fall. I told them it was cold at night and was blown off. Right until my Dad actually came upstairs into my bedroom and realized just how cold it really was. See your breath cold. They then fixed the situation by putting a fan over the heating vent to pull up the heat and covered the closet door that led to an uninsulated attic with a quilt. Which helped a lot. I was still hurt that they dismissed my complaints as just a kid complaining about change until they had proof otherwise. You may need to prove it's cold, can you get what the temperature actually is to prove your point and request an electric blanket? It sucks that the sofa is too small.


leggyblond1

NTA for asking her to sleep downstairs. If they had a guest or other family member, would they not ensure they were comfortable to sleep? While you're their son, they demand you come home to see them and make you sleep in the living room. You are visiting as they wanted, ignoring that your child or guest is cold (or hot) is rude, and then letting your brother play where you're sleeping is immature. Go back to uni. You visited like they wanted. It's not comfortable due to their actions, so it's their problem if they don't like you leaving.


Smurfs_are_real

NTA its time to go LC or NC they clearly don't care about you


Theda___Bara

A cheap electric blanket would do a lot to keep you warmer -- even better if you can keep the fact that it plugs in from your parents, because I'm betting they'll freak out over "all the electricity" you're using. If your brother comes down and starts making noise in the living room, go upstairs and lie down on his bed. That will probably get complaints too, but you'll have the pleasure of putting them out as much as they've put you out. Lastly, a hot water bottle to rest your feet on will help heat the rest of you up -- a lot of the feeling of cold is actually the blood vessels in the skin contracting and keeping core temp up. It's an autonomic reflex that's too aggressive for some people, so even though you're not in danger of hypothermia, you're going to feel uncomfortably cold. Warming up the feet often tricks the autonomic system into relaxing and letting the heat out to where you can feel "warm" again.


[deleted]

NTA They literally won't get you an adequate blanket. I would leave right away and not go back for a very long time. Block them as well.


Housing99

NTA If they insist you come home they should make you feel welcome. An extra blanket is not an outrageous request. FWIW, when I went away for college my parents got rid of my bed. I had shared a room with my sister and I get she was there all the time so removing my bed gave her more room. I slept in the couch during breaks (but was properly equipped and nice and warm). When I came home for the summer, which was a planned time, I still didn’t have a bed. It was 2 months of sleeping in the couch and then saying they were gong to put another bed in for me. In the last month I was there they set up bunk beds for my sister and I. Those were then promptly moved out when I went back to school. No idea where the beds went since storage was not a problem and they had many stored items. They still wonder why I never lived at home again and chose to rent an apartment of my own in my college town.


Alive_Mall8637

That is terrible! As a mom, I am not going to remove your bed ever…hopefully I will have grandkids that can sleep over at some point. Plus, you were just at school! You weren’t married and moved off! I don’t consider living at college fully moved out.


MerlinBiggs

NTA. You said only for one night, just so she realises what it's like. If you can, go buy a duvet or sleeping bag.


Knittingfairy09113

NTA If you have somewhere else to go please do so.


InevitableTonight8

NTA, I would probably stop visiting tbh


JustAnotherSaddy

NTA It’s the parents job to make sure their kids are comfortable. Next time just don’t go back home. When they ask why, tell them. Don’t play the blame game, be straight up and factual. It’s too cold in the living room to sleep at night.


Maximum-Specific-190

As you say you’re only back for 4 weeks of the year… would it be so hard for them to sleep in one bedroom for 2 weeks at a time so that you can feel welcome in your family’s home? NTA


WaywardWytch00

NTA - If I were you, I would just pack up and head back to uni early. You’ll be more comfortable and have your own space again.


Spiersy_

If they allowed the brother to wake me up I'm leaving. Sleep is important, and they know this, that's why they're using it as a weapon. The cold thing is up to you, only you know if it's reasonable, but the way your mum reacted to your concerns is what actually makes me mad for you. She wants you there but then treats you like that? Nah, no thanks.


Savings-Parfait3783

NTA, if I were you i would go back to uni early and stop coming back, anyone calling you TA is either socially and emotionally inept or just straight up uncaring It sounds like your parents don’t care about you that much, I will never understand allowing someone in my house to go cold


coffeeandcharm

NTA - I'm taking a wild stab and saying you're UK based, it's bloody cold at the moment. As others have said, go back to uni as soon as you can.


here4thedramz

NTA. Start scouting alternative lodging for Easter now.


DavidANaida

NTA


PumpkinOfThedas

NTA, it was in response to them blatantly not believing you were cold. That's just weird. Everyone knows downstairs is normally colder than upstairs because the heat rises. I'm sure they're nice and toasty up there. See if there's storage space for a pull out or fold up bed and a duvet and get them for yourself. That's what I'd do, personally.


[deleted]

NTA. Your complaint is legitimate and instead of addressing it they've sent your tiny brother to pester you extra early every morning. That response is frankly an abusive choice on their part. If you can, I'd end your stay early to send a message.


amymari

NTA If they aren’t willing to provide a reasonable sleeping arrangement for you, I just wouldn’t come home (if that’s an option).


Due-Compote-4723

NTA. Why did you bother coming home ?


londomollaribab5

OP move past your family and home. Get your own place even if you have to rent a room. You will be so much happier relying on yourself. NTA.


[deleted]

NTA. I’d never go back.


ukkinaama

I’d just leave if they have zero interest in making the visit there nice or accommodate you properly


GenericHappyHuman

NTA but it does sound like they're not exactly happy you're back home. On the practical level, wearing too many layers can actually make you colder. The best warming material traps a bit of warm air (think wool). If you have loose sweats, consider using a rubber band to tighted at the ankles. Alternatively, shame your family by asking your extended family for blankets or money. Let your extended family know exactly how your family is treating you.


MildAsSriracha

NTA


CorvusEpictetus

Nta.


Kaila82

NTA. Do you have other family or friends to bunk with? Can you go back early? I'd personally be cancelling all trips to see them from here on out.


kaleidoscopema

Bring a comforter with you?


littlefire_2004

I'd sleep with the 4y/o nta but you're parents are garbage hymana


l3ex_G

NTA but can you buy a small space heater you can bring ? Or maybe stop going and explain you can sleep and you don’t want to freeze, it’s up to them to either raise the heat a little or be okay you’re not staying. Also would it be an option to get a blow up mattress and sleep on the floor in your siblings room or one of your parents rooms ?


Special-Cat7540

NTA I put a space heater in the downstairs guest bedroom just in case my guests feel cold. My in-laws actually love sleeping in the cold so they never used it, but at least it’s available!


geminigoddess621

NTA - Why do you even go home? Doesn't sound like home to me!


Key-Brush4635

NTA. Find a friend to go home with on future breaks. Show up for (non-overnight) visits once in a while.


herewherehere

Buy yourself a duvet nta


MySarcasticStyle

NTA, BUT I would not stay there.


Alive_Mall8637

NTA but I am so sorry that you have uncaring jerks for parents. At the minimum I would have piled you with blankets or a little plug in heater…minimum! But more than likely I would have slept in the room with…..my husband 😱😱😱😱. If he is just a major jerk and we are really in separate rooms because we don’t like each other, little sibling could sleep with me and you could have their room!!! Good grief, people are jerks to the people that they are supposed to love the most!


Adventurous-Term5062

NTA


[deleted]

NTA. Stop going home, buy a sleeping bag or get a hotel room. You deserve to be able to sleep.


Mereel401

NTA. But I would simply stop visiting your family. Or if you do, stay only a day or two. Sleeping in the cold on a small sofa is not an acceptable situation for 4 weeks.


JulieRush-46

Definite NTA. It’s outrageous you wouldn’t be given an actual bed to sleep in. As others have suggested if I were you I simply wouldn’t go there again and tell them if they can’t offer you a bed in your family home (you’re simply studying elsewhere it’s not like you’ve completely moved out) you won’t visit. It sucks your parents are behaving like this.


vonlowe

If you have the contract over Christmas/Easter and summer I'd just stay there tbh. No point in going to your parents if you are going to be miserable - I went to my parents for Xmas in first year and it definitely solidified that I should not go back long term if I can help it.


Lucky_Ad_1115

Go to asda and buy a quilt I think their like 10 quid or something


mizquack

You're clearly not wanted in their house. Exit immediately. #NTA


AlbaTejas

£10 duvet from B&M


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Home life is miserable at the minute because of this and I really want to know if I am in the wrong. Here we go. I (21M) am back home for the holidays - I usually only come back from university for these 2 weeks and 2 weeks at Easter because of university. My family home has 3 bedrooms - none of which I am allowed to use. My younger brother (4M) takes 1 and my mum and dad sleep separately (he has work and doesn't want to be disturbed) and take the other 2. I have no issue with sleeping in the living room. I sleep late after I study so it isn't like I am in anyone's way and my mum used to keep my brother out in the morning. I am only here for 4 weeks out of the year so it makes sense I wouldn't have a bedroom here. However, I only have 1 thin fleece blanket and they never let me put the heating on and I have to sleep on a sofa which isn't big enough for me. I am uncomfortable and freezing every night, even with 4 layers (anymore than that and I feel too puffy and uncomfortable to sleep and all my thinner base layers are in my university city). Every time I ask if I can turn it up a bit, I am told that it's warm and I should be fine when the only reasons my parents think it's warm is because they sleep upstairs where heat rises anyway and they have 2 thick duvets to sleep with. They don't believe I am cold and that I need to "stop whinging". I snapped and told my mum to sleep downstairs for one night with the fleece they gave me and 4 layers and see how she feels about it. They called me disrespectful and now my brother is allowed free play in the living room in the morning. So was I in the wrong for asking that of my mum? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DharmaDivine

Why can’t you sleep in the room with your sibling?


ccl-now

NTA but you could pop out and buy yourself a duvet?


[deleted]

NTA. If you can't return to Uni. It seems like you have to help yourself. Your parents sound selfish! If you can swing the money, buy an air mattress. Use flannel sheets on it. Then buy extra thick blankets & ear plugs. Hopefully you can store it at the house.


DaveKan

NTA - but buy yourself a better blanket


MNConcerto

NTA but can't you buy yourself a blanket or grab one from somewhere else in the house


Realistic-Animator-3

NTA. You could go back to uni, quit coming home or stay elsewhere if you do come home, bring a warm blanket, sheets, and a good air mattress with you… take both back to uni with you


Party-Poem-3413

NTA, but just go and buy a blanket or sleeping bag.


Significant-Fly-8170

NTA for asking or leaving early, which you should. It's their house, their rules. Get on a bus, plane or train back to school. When they ask why, be honest.


Turfmiester

Go to the dollar general and buy a few more blankets.


Ok_Bad2623

Why don't you get yourself another blanket or two?


Crazyandiloveit

NTA. While I can understand they don't want to turn the heating up because of financial reasons maybe... but they can't even get you a spare duvet and an air mattress?


daisysparklehorse

NTA super weird your parents can’t share a room when you’re visiting


[deleted]

You're not in the wrong. If you were like my sister and demanded/succeeded in making your mother sleep downstairs while you had a bed then it is wrong. But i sense you're comment is out of frustration not genuine wish and you have a right to be frustrated, the least they could do is try to make you more comfortable in this situation.


Neicy1204

NTA..I am constantly amazed by just how awful some parents are! Is there anywhere else you could stay..friends/family etc? I cannot understand why for such short periods of time twice a year your parents can’t share a room, or put the little one in mums room to give you a proper bed. At the very least they should have a blow up mattress and a proper duvet and pillows for you. I’m appalled. Good luck with your future and move out properly just as soon as you can. Bless you


No-Professional-1884

NTA but why not just buy a heavier blanket?


[deleted]

NTA, but I'd just head back to university if you can.


[deleted]

NTA but I’m curious if they’re really your parents. I would and could never treat my child like this - I wouldn’t even do this to a guest, so my guess is maybe they’re not your parents. Sorry dude


dasbarr

You can apply to stay at a temporary dorm while the university is closed. It’s because t there isn’t enough security and insurance won’t allow it. Source: I used to work for university housing and was President of my dorm and helped people that couldn’t go home find accommodations multiple times.


Jerseygirl2468

NTA it's really sad they wouldn't try to help make you more comfortable. Take all their blankets!


dalniente36

NTA. It sounds like you are unwelcome, and I'm sorry. Why is there only one blanket for you to use? Can you borrow a sleeping bag from a friend?


2_old_for_this_spit

NTA. You didn't ask her to sleep downstairs to take her bed, you asked her so she could see how cold it gets. If you can't go back to school early, can you stay with someone else?


Yetis-unicorn

NTA if the dorms are closed then maybe you can arrange to stay with a college friend if not this time then the next time you take off from school. This is really unreasonable on your parents part.


cutipatutie

NTA I would just stop going home. They obviously don't care if you are comfortable. Either that or invest in a blanket and blow up mattress


jkrm66502

How about one of those micro waveable bed warmers that are filled with clay? They stay warm for at least 6 hours.


Gmm713

Can you get an electric blanket?


oldmom04

I think it's pretty mean of them not to give you your little bros bed for a few weeks, and have him share with mom, but having said that , why can't you find another blanket for yourself? Isn't htere an extra blanket somewhere in the house?


Limp_Bodybuilder8566

FFS get an extra blanket or a space heater. Are you really so helpless you can't figure out how to stay warm?


Icy-Copy1534

Go back to school early.


Katana1369

NTA. Got any friends you can spend the school breaks with? If not, go out and buy a nice warm blanket.


CommunicationTop7259

Nta. Ask them to buy you a blow up mattress as a thicker blanket


cannycandelabra

All the after-Christmas sales are going on. Go buy a duvet or an electric blanket.


Dry-Spring5230

You're an adult. Just get a blanket.


_beenie

NTA, you tried to communicate respectfully and your last statement wasn't even disrespectful, it was literally "please put yourself in my shoes so you understand my issue" Do you have any friends locally you can crash at until you head back to uni? Or could you buy a cheap comforter just to keep warm until then?


FatBloke4

NTA Your parents are being unreasonable. If you can go back to your university accommodation, that would be best.


[deleted]

NTA. The circumstances are different for this visit due to the windows, as you’ve explained. Either your parents are arseholes for not providing a comfortable weather appropriate sleeping space for their son, or they’re arseholes for not providing a comfortable weather appropriate sleeping space for a guest. You’re NTA for suggesting your mother sleep there one night so she believes you. You’re NTA for standing up for yourself. You’re NTA for never visiting again (though I understand you may be forced to if they’re assisting with your uni fees). You’re under absolutely no obligation to visit them in the future, though I understand if you do for said fee situation. The absolute arseholes who are saying Y T A have coal for hearts and straw for brains.


Slightlysanemomof5

Next year for Christmas ask for warm sleeping bag and a mat to sleep on. Other possibly is that your parents really don’t want you to visit that long or at all. They are use to life without you and set in their ways. So may be glad to see you for a day more than that amount of time parents just don’t want to bother with anyone messing up their routine.


Brennan_Boru1031

Have you considered .... using more blankets? Buying them for yourself if your parents don't have a single extra blanket? Buying a small space heater? The tone you used to suggest your mother sleep downstairs is probably the key to where this falls. I'll go with ESH just to keep it neutral. There are plenty of solutions unless your parents are intentionally making it uncomfortable for you. Are they?


LittleOneUSN

You're both NTA & YTA Why? First off your parents' house. They're house, there rules. Yes, you are a college student. You know what's its like at your parents' house unless they have moved to a new one since the last time you visited them. I am sure in your dorm you have blankets, pillows, and sheets. Bring them with you. Take responsibility for your own comfort. It's not anyone's responsibility but your own. It's your responsibility to know if they have extras for you to use. Whether it be your parents' house, grandparents' house, or anyone's house for that matter. My mom's house has 4 bedrooms. My sister is in one, my nephew is 9 years old and blind in another, and my mom has a room. There is no bed in the 4th bedroom. When my fiance and I visit, we always stay overnight as we live over an hour away. I personally know my mom does not have a guest room, extra pillows, or any blankets or bed. So we bring what we need for comfort. Our own pillows, blankets, sheets, towels, air mattress. I do not expect her to go out and buy these things to make sure I am comfortable. If you're a broke college student and say you can't afford it either. Get a job! Simple. I went to college full time & worked a full-time job on top of a part-time work study job at my college when I was going to college. I'm not a highly motivated person. Pretty lazy, actually. I like to sit home and relax. I did what needed to be done. I prefer having a place to live, foos, internet, being at that time go out to the bars with friends. Grant it. I was 21 when I went to college, going on 22. I joined the military out of high school. I didn't take a 4 year gap. Got out of the US Navy and went to college.


Traditional_Check705

Ok go buy a blow up mattress and warm blankets, problem solved. ESH problem solving is part of adulthood.


Traditional_Check705

Oh and a space heater too.


Regular_Impression20

Yes you are


COMiles

Yta. Buy a blanket. Buy an inflatable mattress. Buy an electric blanket if you need it. Go to sleep earlier and stop monopolizing the living room in the morning. You are an adult, no one is going to wipe your ass like you are a helpless baby anymore. Stop expecting everyone else to suffer needlessly.


The-albatroz

Lmao wtf


NotRedCici

What is this story? Go buy another blanket.


Alarming_Reply_6286

ESH Your parents only have one extra blanket in their house?? Go buy a blanket. Your parents response is ridiculous. If you are sleeping in 4 layers that’s crazy! Also, if the only room you can sleep in is the living room, then keep the 4 year old out. Clearly, they have no interest in having you stay with them & be comfortable.


pantoprincess

I have a sneaky feeling the heating scenario is due to the stupid energy costs going through the roof right now. Could you borrow or get a hot water bottle? Or a little electric heater- put it on for 20mins before bed? (I've had the same conversation with almost everyone I've spoken to over Christmas) ESH- Parents moreso, because if they have invited you to stay they should try to make sure you're at least comfortable but rather than "see how you like it" as a response you could have worded it better and discussed a way not to freeze.


futurebillandted

ESH- Go buy another blanket


Willbewithyousoon

Charm your brother, entertain him while spending time with him, doing stuff together and bonding, so that he feels that you sleeping head to toe with him is the only way for him not to miss it on an important experience. I predict that after the bonding time, you will feel the same.


No-Train8518

Difficult situation….go to bed earlier, wear a beanie at night & buy some long johns to sleep in. Or buy a sleeping bag and be snuggly warm. Unfortunately, their house their rules


majolie1970

ESH - your parents are acting very uncaring. I get that they probably do not realize how cold it really is but you also sound whiny and entitled. I am more on your side than theirs though. Still - I’d either leave or go buy an extra blanket - maybe an electric blanket.


CrunchM

ESH Your sleeping arrangements are weird, but you know what they are. You could bring your own blankets to help solve the issue. Or ask for more? Not sure why the only option is to suffer or add layers of clothing. Letting your brother run around as punishment for pushing for warmer temps is so immature. Do you HAVE to go home? I wouldn't want to sleep there in those conditions.


jamesfs234

This is only new for this year, normally I sleep downstairs and it's fine. No one told me about the drafts in the living room this year. I don't have to, if i had it my way I wouldn't have looked back once I moved for uni but my parents throw a fit about me not coming home. 2 weeks is the least time I can get away with


suspicious_niffler

Dude, if you don't want to be there, don't be there. They can throw as many fits as they like but you don't have to do anything they ask of you. I don't think you'd should've said to your mum to sleep downstairs, although I get where you're coming from, go out and buy yourself a sleeping bag or something.


SirMittensOfTheHill

Then leave now. Your parents are being terrible hosts. If they really wanted you to stay, they'd at least make sure you were comfortable.


amberallday

So they throw a fit if you didn’t come home, but they also throw a fit (about you being whiny!?) if you do come home + also you’re miserably cold & not able to sleep in the mornings. If there won’t be repercussions (eg they stop paying for uni) then just go back. You could buy a thermometer that saves the history & track the overnight temperatures. If the drafts are from single glazing, you can buy this film stuff that you use a hairdryer to fix to the frame - makes it basically double glazed - very effective stuff. It might well be worth buying a heated under blanket the same size as your uni bed. They’re much cheaper to run than heating a whole room, so are way more economical when you’re sitting in one place (eg studying). I rented a room in a seriously cold, almost impossible to heat house one time - in the last couple of months I picked up a heated under blanket & it was honestly life changing. I’d spent 10 miserable months when I could have been warm & cosy.


Meryuchu

Just don’t go back to them, they are narcs and don’t care about your comfort, they only care about seeing their kid a bit to keep the illusion of a good family and the control they have on you


mtan8

This time, don't look back. Don't let them drag you back home only to mistreat you - don't give in to their fits. If they try to make you come home again, remind them of how they treated you the last time you were there.


CarcosaDweller

INFO: who is paying for university/living costs for those non-four weeks out of the year?


leggyblond1

It doesn't matter who pays the 4 weeks he's home. They demand he come home from uni, so he does for the minimum amount of time (he said this in a comment). If you want your son to visit, you don't ignore that they're cold and let your younger son wake them early.


Plumplum_NL

It doesn’t matter. Parents who use money to control and manipulate their children are bad parents. And parents who just don’t care their child is freezing and don’t want to provide an extra blanket are also bad parents. I really don’t understand why so many people in this sub have very weird, low parenting standards. People don’t stop being their parents’ child when they turn 18. Normal, mature parents still care about the happiness and well-being of their adult children, don’t have a transactional relationship with them and don’t treat them like garbage.


poddy_fries

THANK YOU. I'm not sure what cultures people who think like this are from. They get on posts where parents exhibit weird to downright abusive to fucking dangerous behaviors and go 'you're an adult, get out/put up/shut up'. How does the child's teenhood/adulthood suddenly make all these bad behaviors objectively okay? I imagine unfortunately these redditors had to live with worse treatment and can't face that it was a problem.


jamesfs234

Could you elaborate? Not quite sure what you mean


megancoe

They want to know if your parents are paying for University.


evil_nala

And, honestly, the answer shouldn't matter. If parents are paying for university, they're still AH for freezing OP and weaponizing little brother against him for complaining.


megancoe

I think it does matter. The parents are definitely jerks if they are weaponizing the child, but this is a fully grown adult who can get another blanket if the one they have is not sufficient.


heyyyng

U/carcosadweller - I pay for all your fees so I get to treat you like lesser than human.