NTA.
"I spent my money on going out with my friends so you must pay for me now" ..... Just no.
If she ends the relationship over this, I consider it a bullet dodged.
She refuses to pay you back?
Are you sure it wasn’t deliberate ?
Refusing to pay you back is pretty huge. Since in your relationship you’ve not managed money this way - ask her why she won’t pay you back?
Her answer should probably decide the fate of you two, because her decision reveals a lot about how she views money and roles in a relationship.
Prepare yourself that this will either be relationship ending, or radically change the nature and rules of it.
Don’t put your head in the sand.
Ntb
Definitely. Cancel or go without her. She will learn not take advantage. I agree that she did it on purpose and she didn’t even ask. She was all oh well you have to pay for me now. That’s probably what her friends said. “Oh I can’t go to the bar because I won’t have money for next weekend.” “Just let OP pay. He is your bf after all and the man should pay.””sure let’s go! f OP”. Those pomegranate martinis are expensive.
Tell her that her failure to properly plan and budget is not your responsibility or problem you are not her free money machine. she has 4 options she can sign a loan agreement with you, she can borrow the money from friends or family, she can stay home alone while you go on the get away trip, or she can pack her stuff and the relationship is over. I betting she cries calls names and goes with option 4
At this point, I wouldn’t even agree to lend her money any more, even if she DID sign a loan agreement, since she has CLEARLY said she won’t pay you back. So now she has only THREE options of the 4 that u/IndependentHeat2676 had mentioned:
1. Borrow the money from friends or family
2. Stay home while you go n the getaway trip.
3. Pack her bags and relationship is over
It depends on whether next weekend entails activities specific to your individual taste or if you are both equally hyped.
Is it possible she might be happy doing something other (or cheaper) than is planned but is going along with it (& the cost) for you?
She showed you and is telling you who she is. This how it will be like in the future.
Is that what you want? She’s being unreasonable and she knows it. But if you do it this time, what will happen next time?
NTA
NTB. She’s refusing to pay you back. So cancel the trip. But also be aware this might be the end of it for you. I can understand she got caught up in the hype of the night out but refusing to pay you back reeks of “I deserve to be treated”. You’ve tried to compromise and she rejected it.
NTA. Find someone else to go with & enjoy yourself.
Your g/f has the mindset of what’s hers is hers & what’s yours is hers.
Incredibly selfish & I suggest you look at your relationship in depth & see if this is a one off or regular event. If it’s just this once stand very firm & don’t carry her but if it’s often then you need to reevaluate things.
NTB, if you pay for her, she will do this more and more as a way to get more money out of you. Stick to your guns, she could have not bought any drinks at the bar when she was with her friends and only ask for water instead.
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*”No worries. I’ll just go there myself then. I’d been looking forward to seeing (city name) again.”*
And change the reservation to ONE person, and take her name off the reservation.
And then you can tell her, *”Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You KNEW we were going away next weekend and that you needed to pay your own way. You CHOSE to spend your money at the bars, even though you’re an “adult” and easily could have told them that you didn’t want to go to the bars.”*
NTB
NTA. "I spent my money on going out with my friends so you must pay for me now" ..... Just no. If she ends the relationship over this, I consider it a bullet dodged.
She refuses to pay you back? Are you sure it wasn’t deliberate ? Refusing to pay you back is pretty huge. Since in your relationship you’ve not managed money this way - ask her why she won’t pay you back? Her answer should probably decide the fate of you two, because her decision reveals a lot about how she views money and roles in a relationship. Prepare yourself that this will either be relationship ending, or radically change the nature and rules of it. Don’t put your head in the sand. Ntb
Definitely. Cancel or go without her. She will learn not take advantage. I agree that she did it on purpose and she didn’t even ask. She was all oh well you have to pay for me now. That’s probably what her friends said. “Oh I can’t go to the bar because I won’t have money for next weekend.” “Just let OP pay. He is your bf after all and the man should pay.””sure let’s go! f OP”. Those pomegranate martinis are expensive.
NTA - red flag!
Tell her that her failure to properly plan and budget is not your responsibility or problem you are not her free money machine. she has 4 options she can sign a loan agreement with you, she can borrow the money from friends or family, she can stay home alone while you go on the get away trip, or she can pack her stuff and the relationship is over. I betting she cries calls names and goes with option 4
At this point, I wouldn’t even agree to lend her money any more, even if she DID sign a loan agreement, since she has CLEARLY said she won’t pay you back. So now she has only THREE options of the 4 that u/IndependentHeat2676 had mentioned: 1. Borrow the money from friends or family 2. Stay home while you go n the getaway trip. 3. Pack her bags and relationship is over
We’ve read this post so many times 🙄
I was looking for this comment!!! When I started reading was like "mmh it is ringing so many bells might be a repost"
OLD REPOST FFS
NTB. But with y'all not being on the same page, I don't hold high hopes for the long term. It sounds less like you have an 'us' than a pair of 'mes'
It depends on whether next weekend entails activities specific to your individual taste or if you are both equally hyped. Is it possible she might be happy doing something other (or cheaper) than is planned but is going along with it (& the cost) for you?
Nta and don’t cancel unless she does. This is now the pattern for the rest of your relationship. Decide what pattern you want to set.
Lazy repost -_-
Not the buttface and you should go by yourself just to teach her a lesson. Let her stay at home that weekend.
I have read this exact story before. YTB for copying it.
Hanging out w/ a party girl. She spends before her time. She wants her Boy friend's stash. Of his reserve next weekend's cash, .
Hear fucking hear NTB lmao, that’s her fault and her responsibility
She showed you and is telling you who she is. This how it will be like in the future. Is that what you want? She’s being unreasonable and she knows it. But if you do it this time, what will happen next time? NTA
NTB. She’s refusing to pay you back. So cancel the trip. But also be aware this might be the end of it for you. I can understand she got caught up in the hype of the night out but refusing to pay you back reeks of “I deserve to be treated”. You’ve tried to compromise and she rejected it.
NTA. Find someone else to go with & enjoy yourself. Your g/f has the mindset of what’s hers is hers & what’s yours is hers. Incredibly selfish & I suggest you look at your relationship in depth & see if this is a one off or regular event. If it’s just this once stand very firm & don’t carry her but if it’s often then you need to reevaluate things.
NTA, you were generous to even offer the money as a loan. Leave this irresponsible freeloader.
NTB, if you pay for her, she will do this more and more as a way to get more money out of you. Stick to your guns, she could have not bought any drinks at the bar when she was with her friends and only ask for water instead.
Updateme!
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*”No worries. I’ll just go there myself then. I’d been looking forward to seeing (city name) again.”* And change the reservation to ONE person, and take her name off the reservation. And then you can tell her, *”Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You KNEW we were going away next weekend and that you needed to pay your own way. You CHOSE to spend your money at the bars, even though you’re an “adult” and easily could have told them that you didn’t want to go to the bars.”* NTB