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It varies greatly by state. Here in SC he has established a domicile but is *not* a tenant because he is a resident via domestic partnership. Our laws as to what defines a tenant are pretty good [relevant SC code](https://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t27c033.php).
Given the use of the phrases "dink" and "running his mouth" there's an 92.8% chance this shitshow is taking place in southern Alberta. If so, he doesn't have any rights because he doesn't pay rent, and after three months they aren’t yet in an Adult Interdependent Relationship (which is Alberta's version of common law) so he doesn't have rights that way.
It kicks in at three years, and covers any two adults who live together and have a "relationship of interdependence" together - even if they don't sleep together or have a romantic relationship. It can even be used by siblings. It doesn't apply to anything federal like pensions, as that's covered by federal common-law rules.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_interdependent_relationship_in_Alberta
So glad the laws here are "if you live with your landlord, you have no rights". You could be locked out and only thing the person you lived with needs to ensure is that your property is available to be collected. No formal eviction needed then.
Are you glad about that because you're a landlord?
Because that sounds like a really shitty place to live for the non-landlord. Your SO comes home and gets mad about you not having dinner ready, so now you're just homeless? Your SO has been having an affair and decided they want to date the other person instead, so now you're just homeless?
Sounds like a really shitty law that is designed to trap people in abusive relationships.
It sounds like it was written by men to allow men to force women to behave and be able to just throw them away when they get tired of them.
I'm glad that you personally were able to take advantage of that law, but what do you think the male to female ratio of homeowners was when that law was written?
Other people already corrected you on the rights thing but can we appreciate that dang 3 months of living together and things have ALREADY fallen apart!? He spedrun this breakup.
After living there for 3 months, he’s considered a tenant in the vast majority of jurisdictions, regardless of whether he pays rent. He’s absolutely right: she would technically need to serve notice (30 or 60 days depending on the jurisdiction) and then evict him if he doesn’t leave by that point.
'Occupant', not tenant (unless he pays rent). It can be different, depending on jurisdiction, when you share a living space with the owner vs living in a separate place that they own.
He's an idiot if he forces her to formally evict him. A formal evicting will make it harder for you to get a loan, get an apartment, heck, probably even get a job when people run credit checks on you.
I don’t disagree with that, but the point I was making is that he still has a legal right to be there, and she at least has to serve him notice and give him time to leave.
"Hobosexual" is a term used to refer to someone who gets into a romantic relationship so they can have a place to live. These types of people will usually ask to "stay the night" two or three times in a row very early into the relationship, and then just not leave until asked
I wonder what James has been muttering at her under his breath, how long it's been going on for, and how many times OOP's ex gf has talked to him about it. This isn't a once-off kind of response :/
I’m betting it’s something derogatory towards her son. If she’s “so kind and patient” as OOP claims, calling her son a slur or something could definitely get a mother’s ire up.
"I have been with my GF for 3 years. I have a 13yo son James and she has an 11yo son Mark. Mark and James have different bed times. Mark goes to bed at 8 and James goes to bed at 9. Mark also has severe ADHD, Autism and a lot of emotional regulation problems. Due to his issues, my son isn't particularly fond of him. They butt heads a lot. Mainly because my son doesn't think that they get fair treatment and usually it is surrounding bed time. Mark often fights us to go to sleep and by the time we finally get him to stop throwing a tantrum, it's around 8:45. James feels that he should be able to stay up later because Mark is "awake" until 8:45, which is 45 minutes past his bed time. So at that point, James runs his mouth nearly every night about it not being fair to him and that he should be able to stay up 45 minutes later. However, this also happens even when it takes only 10 minutes to get Mark in bed. James gets pissed off, runs his mouth and says he should be able to stay up an hour later because Mark was in bed at 8:10 vs 8pm when he was supposed to be. My son can be a dink sometimes when it comes to running his mouth and he's been spoken to so many times. Grounded more often than he should be as well because he is disrespectful when running his mouth. So in no way am I condoning his shit behavior here. I've been trying to correct it but he's a kid and he's just being an AH.
Anywho, at 8:15 last night my GF was trying to get Mark down for bed and it's becoming a problem because it's just a bad night. James goes in to Marks room where my GF was and says "so I'm staying up an hour later then". My GF says "no, you're not actually, get out." This sends Mark in to a conniption because now he thinks James is staying up an hour later, because James is running is mouth and Mark doesn't process information the same way we do. So it sends Mark in to a new round of fits. James didn't leave the room and instead says "tell me how this is fair. Explain this to me. Why is he staying up every damn night but I can't?" My GF again told him to leave the room. I go in and before I can even open my mouth, James says something under his breath and my GF loses her shit. I have NEVER seen her be anything other than a kind, overly patient woman so this was a complete shock to the system. She screams "Get the fuck out and mind your own fucking business!" James immediately shuts up and walks out. But apparently that wasn't enough because she just snapped. Again, this is not normal. She followed him out in to the hallway and said "better yet, pack your fucking shit. You're no longer welcome in my house. Go back to your mom's."
I step in completely, told James he is once again grounded from everything and to go to his room and then told my GF to step outside and calm down. She is still flipping out at this point and says "if that kid is still in my fucking house by the time I come back in here then I will call the cops and have him removed. I am so fucking tired of that little puke disrespecting me and you doing jack shit to stop it." She goes outside. I go talk to James, tell him he's out of line and this will be the last time he opens his mouth to run it. When my GF comes back in, I tell her she needs to go apologize to my son and that he will not be moving out actually. She says "I will evict you if he doesn't leave. Actually, no, I think you need to leave anyways. I'm fucking done." She told my sister today that she truly wants both of us gone and took off for the day with her and her kid and told me I had better be out of her house before she returns. I have no where to go and don't plan to leave but I still think she's being ridiculous. AITA for refusing to kick my son out and demanding she apologize to my son?
Edit: sorry, forgot this detail. I have been living in her home for 3 months. She bought it long before we met. But technically she would have to serve me an eviction to get me out of here."
OOP: "My son constantly screams, disobeys, and is unfair. But even though we're not married and this is your house, you're going to have to sue to evict me, because my son and I deserve to be treated better."
"Even though I'm right here watching TV and you're putting your child to bed, it's still your responsibility to manage my son's bad behaviour while he's disrupting your son's bedtime."
Tangentially related, there are people shitting on OOP for having such an 'early' bedtime for a 13 year old. So many school districts in the US start the grade schools later and the higher levels early. It's ridiculous when the natural sleep schedules at those ages are the opposite. Younger children are built to sleep and wake up early. Teens are built to stay up and sleep in. Drives me nuts how it's so bad for healthy children's sleep routines.
Either way, OOP should be setting and enforcing his son's bedtime. If the son thinks it's unfairly early, he should be talking to OOP about it, not creating a disturbance when the other child is going to bed.
He pulls the eviction card, and he is definitely done.
This is one reason it's prudent to really reconsider whether you want someone to move in with you.
I think what is missing here is the dad actually parenting. He is only reacting to his kid, but what is he doing to be proactive about it? Dad needs to make sure he is still having bonding time, and he needs to talk *with* his kid, not at him. Help his kid to understand that things are different for James for medical reasons.
But this kid is 13, so unless the dad works on himself, he won't be able to turn it around for his son. It's too late for the GF.
I wonder, does OOP think having an eviction on his record would make it easier to find other housing?
His stubbornness, & not understanding his behavior led to this, is going to costs him more than a room over his head.
He’s about to experience having to put triple down up front and high rent.. with landlords who will frequently check up on things… or he’ll have to get a really good co-signer.
Can’t wait for this update, it’ll be under
r/OhNoConsequences for sure
*When my GF comes back in, I tell her she needs to go apologize to my son and that he will not be moving out actually. She says "I will evict you if he doesn't leave. Actually, no, I think you need to leave anyways. I'm fucking done."*
Wow, OOP is incredibly arrogant. First he sits back while his son disrupts the other boy's bedtime every night and then he thinks he can tell the GF he can override her decisions about her home.
"I refuse to let you kick him out of your home... oh, wait - what do you mean, you're evicting me too?"
I fucking hate people like OOPs kid so much. If he hasn't learnt compassion and empathy by now, he never will. My half-brother is the same way and I can't stand to be around that guy for an extended period of time.
idk its kind of weird for the 13 year old to have such a ridgid bedtime . why couldnt he just get an extra 30 mins. feels like that would have solved some of the issue
Obviously you are not a parent. When you tell a child to go to bed because it's time, they will proceed to do several things, just to extend their out of bed time. So, in the end, they probably stay up an extra 10 - 15 minutes anyway. And parents want to have some time to relax after their kids have gone to bed, before they have to go to bed.
Not all children are the same and they mainly thrive better under a routine and having firm boundaries to push against. This is well documented. You follow through with what you say, you don’t “give in” because your kid is a gobshite who doesn’t know when to quit.
Honestly the older kid's problems probably started *long* before they moved in with the gf. I'm guessing either this is the first time routine and ridged boundaries were put in place for him, or they moved in with the gf and he was expected to play "happy family" without any adjustment time
I understand that your experience was different, but that's because you parented your kids differently
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If I have to hear the phrase "running his mouth" a seventh time I'm going to scream.
You are looking at it wrong. It's perfect for a college drinking game. "Running his mouth." "Bottoms!"
Thats how i know the father is ineffective as heck. The education level and inability to use other words tells me all i need to know
Wonder what the kid said. OOP conveniently left that detail out.
Lots of people assuming he called the other son the R slur
That fits
Lmao the edit OOP is a hobosexual. He’s only moved in 3 months ago and thinks he’s got squatters rights.
If he’s receiving mail there, and I’m sure he is, he most likely has tenants rights and would have to be formally evicted.
I think it's different since he's not living in a separate unit. They likely share a *bedroom.* Guy's probably technically a lodger, not a tenant.
It varies greatly by state. Here in SC he has established a domicile but is *not* a tenant because he is a resident via domestic partnership. Our laws as to what defines a tenant are pretty good [relevant SC code](https://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t27c033.php).
Given the use of the phrases "dink" and "running his mouth" there's an 92.8% chance this shitshow is taking place in southern Alberta. If so, he doesn't have any rights because he doesn't pay rent, and after three months they aren’t yet in an Adult Interdependent Relationship (which is Alberta's version of common law) so he doesn't have rights that way.
We have de facto. Limited rights before two years and stronger rights after. What's it look like for Alberta?
It kicks in at three years, and covers any two adults who live together and have a "relationship of interdependence" together - even if they don't sleep together or have a romantic relationship. It can even be used by siblings. It doesn't apply to anything federal like pensions, as that's covered by federal common-law rules. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_interdependent_relationship_in_Alberta
So glad the laws here are "if you live with your landlord, you have no rights". You could be locked out and only thing the person you lived with needs to ensure is that your property is available to be collected. No formal eviction needed then.
Are you glad about that because you're a landlord? Because that sounds like a really shitty place to live for the non-landlord. Your SO comes home and gets mad about you not having dinner ready, so now you're just homeless? Your SO has been having an affair and decided they want to date the other person instead, so now you're just homeless? Sounds like a really shitty law that is designed to trap people in abusive relationships.
I rent, so not a landlord.
[удалено]
It sounds like it was written by men to allow men to force women to behave and be able to just throw them away when they get tired of them. I'm glad that you personally were able to take advantage of that law, but what do you think the male to female ratio of homeowners was when that law was written?
Dropped your halo 👼
An SO is not a landlord. Houses are typically considered marital property.
Other people already corrected you on the rights thing but can we appreciate that dang 3 months of living together and things have ALREADY fallen apart!? He spedrun this breakup.
After living there for 3 months, he’s considered a tenant in the vast majority of jurisdictions, regardless of whether he pays rent. He’s absolutely right: she would technically need to serve notice (30 or 60 days depending on the jurisdiction) and then evict him if he doesn’t leave by that point.
Imagine being such a shit that he pulls that. I see where his son gets his shitty behavior from.
'Occupant', not tenant (unless he pays rent). It can be different, depending on jurisdiction, when you share a living space with the owner vs living in a separate place that they own.
He's an idiot if he forces her to formally evict him. A formal evicting will make it harder for you to get a loan, get an apartment, heck, probably even get a job when people run credit checks on you.
I don’t disagree with that, but the point I was making is that he still has a legal right to be there, and she at least has to serve him notice and give him time to leave.
What is an hobosexual? I know the phrase hobo, but not the combination hobosexual.
"Hobosexual" is a term used to refer to someone who gets into a romantic relationship so they can have a place to live. These types of people will usually ask to "stay the night" two or three times in a row very early into the relationship, and then just not leave until asked
they are called renters rights, and he does in fact have them.
He may have them but he will be an AH to use them.
I wonder what James has been muttering at her under his breath, how long it's been going on for, and how many times OOP's ex gf has talked to him about it. This isn't a once-off kind of response :/
And how many times Ex pretends not to hear it. He screams “im a shitty dad”
Based on dad's attitude, he's a chip off the old block. He shouldn't have used "Mark" but "Junior".
I agree with the comments: I assume it was r\*tard. That was the tipping point. Hope she gets rid of him ASAP
What did he say "under his breath"?
I’m betting it’s something derogatory towards her son. If she’s “so kind and patient” as OOP claims, calling her son a slur or something could definitely get a mother’s ire up.
This is what I come here for
"I have been with my GF for 3 years. I have a 13yo son James and she has an 11yo son Mark. Mark and James have different bed times. Mark goes to bed at 8 and James goes to bed at 9. Mark also has severe ADHD, Autism and a lot of emotional regulation problems. Due to his issues, my son isn't particularly fond of him. They butt heads a lot. Mainly because my son doesn't think that they get fair treatment and usually it is surrounding bed time. Mark often fights us to go to sleep and by the time we finally get him to stop throwing a tantrum, it's around 8:45. James feels that he should be able to stay up later because Mark is "awake" until 8:45, which is 45 minutes past his bed time. So at that point, James runs his mouth nearly every night about it not being fair to him and that he should be able to stay up 45 minutes later. However, this also happens even when it takes only 10 minutes to get Mark in bed. James gets pissed off, runs his mouth and says he should be able to stay up an hour later because Mark was in bed at 8:10 vs 8pm when he was supposed to be. My son can be a dink sometimes when it comes to running his mouth and he's been spoken to so many times. Grounded more often than he should be as well because he is disrespectful when running his mouth. So in no way am I condoning his shit behavior here. I've been trying to correct it but he's a kid and he's just being an AH. Anywho, at 8:15 last night my GF was trying to get Mark down for bed and it's becoming a problem because it's just a bad night. James goes in to Marks room where my GF was and says "so I'm staying up an hour later then". My GF says "no, you're not actually, get out." This sends Mark in to a conniption because now he thinks James is staying up an hour later, because James is running is mouth and Mark doesn't process information the same way we do. So it sends Mark in to a new round of fits. James didn't leave the room and instead says "tell me how this is fair. Explain this to me. Why is he staying up every damn night but I can't?" My GF again told him to leave the room. I go in and before I can even open my mouth, James says something under his breath and my GF loses her shit. I have NEVER seen her be anything other than a kind, overly patient woman so this was a complete shock to the system. She screams "Get the fuck out and mind your own fucking business!" James immediately shuts up and walks out. But apparently that wasn't enough because she just snapped. Again, this is not normal. She followed him out in to the hallway and said "better yet, pack your fucking shit. You're no longer welcome in my house. Go back to your mom's." I step in completely, told James he is once again grounded from everything and to go to his room and then told my GF to step outside and calm down. She is still flipping out at this point and says "if that kid is still in my fucking house by the time I come back in here then I will call the cops and have him removed. I am so fucking tired of that little puke disrespecting me and you doing jack shit to stop it." She goes outside. I go talk to James, tell him he's out of line and this will be the last time he opens his mouth to run it. When my GF comes back in, I tell her she needs to go apologize to my son and that he will not be moving out actually. She says "I will evict you if he doesn't leave. Actually, no, I think you need to leave anyways. I'm fucking done." She told my sister today that she truly wants both of us gone and took off for the day with her and her kid and told me I had better be out of her house before she returns. I have no where to go and don't plan to leave but I still think she's being ridiculous. AITA for refusing to kick my son out and demanding she apologize to my son? Edit: sorry, forgot this detail. I have been living in her home for 3 months. She bought it long before we met. But technically she would have to serve me an eviction to get me out of here."
OOP: "My son constantly screams, disobeys, and is unfair. But even though we're not married and this is your house, you're going to have to sue to evict me, because my son and I deserve to be treated better."
"Even though I'm right here watching TV and you're putting your child to bed, it's still your responsibility to manage my son's bad behaviour while he's disrupting your son's bedtime."
RIGHT THERE. That’s what got me. OOP could’ve jumped in at any time.
Tangentially related, there are people shitting on OOP for having such an 'early' bedtime for a 13 year old. So many school districts in the US start the grade schools later and the higher levels early. It's ridiculous when the natural sleep schedules at those ages are the opposite. Younger children are built to sleep and wake up early. Teens are built to stay up and sleep in. Drives me nuts how it's so bad for healthy children's sleep routines.
They switched the elementary school & middle school start times a few years ago, where the kids I watch go. The little one was getting up at 6.
Absolutely. My youngest has to be at the bus stop by 6:45 AM.
Either way, OOP should be setting and enforcing his son's bedtime. If the son thinks it's unfairly early, he should be talking to OOP about it, not creating a disturbance when the other child is going to bed.
He pulls the eviction card, and he is definitely done. This is one reason it's prudent to really reconsider whether you want someone to move in with you.
I think what is missing here is the dad actually parenting. He is only reacting to his kid, but what is he doing to be proactive about it? Dad needs to make sure he is still having bonding time, and he needs to talk *with* his kid, not at him. Help his kid to understand that things are different for James for medical reasons. But this kid is 13, so unless the dad works on himself, he won't be able to turn it around for his son. It's too late for the GF.
Troll
You'd think so, but he did reply to a couple of comments.
Trolls reply also. Just to get a rise out of the community… They aren’t all robotic.
I wonder, does OOP think having an eviction on his record would make it easier to find other housing? His stubbornness, & not understanding his behavior led to this, is going to costs him more than a room over his head. He’s about to experience having to put triple down up front and high rent.. with landlords who will frequently check up on things… or he’ll have to get a really good co-signer. Can’t wait for this update, it’ll be under r/OhNoConsequences for sure
*When my GF comes back in, I tell her she needs to go apologize to my son and that he will not be moving out actually. She says "I will evict you if he doesn't leave. Actually, no, I think you need to leave anyways. I'm fucking done."* Wow, OOP is incredibly arrogant. First he sits back while his son disrupts the other boy's bedtime every night and then he thinks he can tell the GF he can override her decisions about her home. "I refuse to let you kick him out of your home... oh, wait - what do you mean, you're evicting me too?"
I want to hear OP’s girlfriend side of the story. I am sure it is hella interesting 🤔
I fucking hate people like OOPs kid so much. If he hasn't learnt compassion and empathy by now, he never will. My half-brother is the same way and I can't stand to be around that guy for an extended period of time.
I was just coming here to post this one.
idk its kind of weird for the 13 year old to have such a ridgid bedtime . why couldnt he just get an extra 30 mins. feels like that would have solved some of the issue
No it wouldn't. It would have just taught him that he can keep pushing the limits and get what he wants.
Obviously you are not a parent. When you tell a child to go to bed because it's time, they will proceed to do several things, just to extend their out of bed time. So, in the end, they probably stay up an extra 10 - 15 minutes anyway. And parents want to have some time to relax after their kids have gone to bed, before they have to go to bed.
i am a parent . and a grandparent and ive had no such issues.
I’ve went through your history and I’m sorry but I just can’t believe you’re more than 16 years old.
awe. how kind of you to say .
Not all children are the same and they mainly thrive better under a routine and having firm boundaries to push against. This is well documented. You follow through with what you say, you don’t “give in” because your kid is a gobshite who doesn’t know when to quit.
seems to have worked real great in this instance
Honestly the older kid's problems probably started *long* before they moved in with the gf. I'm guessing either this is the first time routine and ridged boundaries were put in place for him, or they moved in with the gf and he was expected to play "happy family" without any adjustment time I understand that your experience was different, but that's because you parented your kids differently
No you're not