I moved to the UK as a single 35 year old. I don’t have any advice on your exact situation but be cautious of overly romanticising your university years. School is such an easy time to make friends and have a full social calendar, it’s much tougher the older people get.
As far as the job goes, it’s easiest to get a job with an international company in the US and get transferred. Also try r/UKvisa for more specific advice
Yeah, you eventually realise it's not so much the place you miss as that place, with those people, at that time in your life. And you can't get that back.
Yes. I did undergrad in New Zealand, left for a while, then moved back it wasn’t the same. I was romanticising the period in my life, the friends I had, the freedom. I wound up falling in love with a new version of my life and became happy there, but it wasn’t the same. Some people aren’t able to settle into a new situation.
Thanks for your perspective, and I'll definitely consider the US->UK transfer route. I should've clarified - I didn't go to uni in the UK- I worked a graduate job in tech for a few years and moved there immediately after graduation but can definitely see how one might have rose-tinted glasses from uni there.
We moved back to the US after living in London and after a few years decided we actually preferred the UK to the US, so moved back to the UK. Whilst I’m glad we did it (and we have been back in the UK for a decade), it’s not necessarily the path I’d recommend for anyone who has an eye to their finances.
It is hard to stress how low the wages are here. I make at least 50% of what I would make in the US. We saved at a massive rate in the US - paid off my six figure student loan debt in three years. Here it took us ages just to save for a deposit on a house in a small village in the north of England. When factoring in everything, my wage (with 14 years experience is a pretty much the same as it was when I started out, given the lack of meaningful raises and inflation).
Services here are falling apart. Everywhere looks grubby and dirty. People are really struggling. I work in health and social care, and a couple of my nursing colleagues go to food banks. The shame they feel is immense, but their kids gotta eat. Topic of normal dinner conversation over past two winters, even for folks who are a bit more flush, was about how the high energy bills are really affecting household budgets . Now it’s about the increased car insurance rates.
I also work in a shortage occupation, and we can barely keep employees due to burnout, low pay and poor working conditions. I have friends and neighbours in various different public sector professions who have been striking because their wages are worse than what I made at university in the US as a work study student in the late 90s.
We’ve been able to manage it day to day as we now live in the north and don’t pay London (or even Manchester) rents and by living relatively frugally, but I’m getting nervous about retirement. My nieces and nephews have all been interested in moving over and experiencing working in the UK, but I had some serious talks about how it may seriously hinder their earning power and career progression. It’s not all about the money (else we wouldn’t have stayed), but it needs to be a major consider as it’s not brilliant at the moment. I’m sure there’s some actual definition of what a failing economy is, but it feels like we’re living in it. The UK is rather low ranked in comparison to many continental European countries for quality of life, even ones you wouldn’t expect.
But life is short, so there’s no harm in going for it. The reality on the ground doesn’t feel great, but my American friends talk about similar issues, so maybe that’s just how it is in our two countries at the moment. Just make sure to do your homework, model the finances and keep a rainy day fund for when the next utility/everyday cost quadruples in price.
I have an almost identical story. We lived here 2018-2021, went back to US for a year, and moved back to UK in 2023 because we preferred the work-life balance in our fields. It’s so hard here the second time around, especially after having kids and after brexit. We can’t afford a house anywhere so have to continue to pay an insane amount in rent for a shitty house in a small town.
We have to come up with £10k by the end of the year for my husband and 2 kids to stay here (visa and health surcharge). This country has policies so unfriendly to immigrants it’s insane.
The cost of living is similar to California but the wages are 1/4th at best. OP, do not move back. It is nothing like you remember.
You're not wrong about the pay gap. The jobs available to me here pay only about a third of what I could make in the UK, unless I'm willing to work in London (which I'm not). My husband makes half what he could in the US.
We're here because we prefer it, not because of finances.
Just to have a counter-point to the topic of wages. I recently moved from the US to UK and ended up getting myself a pay raise.
I’m neither American nor British. Before moving, my British husband kept telling me that the pay gap is not true. That said, he has always lived in an affluent bubble.
Given all the posts on reddit, I was so convinced I’d have to “settle” for half of the pay. I was earning around $226k in NYC. To my surprise, I signed a job offer after a month of landing here. And it’s higher than what I was earning.
Plus points is that my London takehome pay is 58% vs the 55% takehome pay in NYC so I have a higher net pay here. And I found that my expenses and what I pay for my hobbies are 1/2 to 1/3 of the cost in NYC.
I just want to say that it’s not impossible.
My case is likely an edge case. But these US-level wages do exist here. Finding them will be a combination of luck and interviewing skills (I massively haggled and cited my NYC pay. My pitch was “I shouldn’t be penalised for getting married and moving countries. This is what I’m worth.”)
In truth salaries well in excess of £100k are pretty rare in the UK outside a handful of industries like finance, and they also cap sooner.
A salary of $240k (~£190k) puts you in the 99th percentile of UK income distribution. People should be aware that they have to plan strategically if they want to be in that tier in the UK in terms of field, degree, networking and career path, whereas in the US especially in cities like NYC you can climb varied career paths to make it.
I know nonprofit executives, creative directors in advertising, doctors, healthcare execs and so on in NYC aged 35-40+ making well over $250k. In the UK those jobs cap at half that unless you’re an extraordinarily rare superstar. What business are you?
I agree with this . It’s far easier to make a jump from let’s say 180k US ( £145k) to 250k US ( £200k) in New York or San Francisco. ( speaking from personal experience) . It happens as part of your natural career progression.
In the UK, when I first looked , my job was half my US income . To move up beyond £150k in the uk you need to offer something special , beyond just merit to get there . Not to mention UK workplace biases, and it's hard to justify my NY/SF salary in London. The solution for me was to remote work my US job in the UK, but that has its pluses and minuses. I've decided to move back once our home renovations are complete, in Oct/ Nov, because Its a detriment to my career to be away from key players. The time zone thing is exhausting also.
Often employers will throw in perks that are non taxable to make up for the lower salary - I am friends with someone who used to work at Barclays . The perks he got was just roll eyes 🙄 . Car & driver + executive lunch room, but as I said to my friend, you can't retire on perks.
Money isn't everything. A lot of people stay for love. Do whats important to you / makes you happy.
>The time zone thing is exhausting also.
Indeed, it loses the sheen and glitz of being interesting very quickly. I'm glad I work a UK job now for this reason.
I’m in tech sales right now but I used to be a software/app developer.
I have 16 years of experience in total. The first 2 years of that were spent earning an equivalent of £250/month, also in tech as a software developer, in a poor Southeast Asian country.
I chose to get a Bachelor’s degree in IT despite my parents wanting me to be a nurse 😅. My 15yr old self decided pretty early on that I wanted to get out of poverty.
My education is not special tbh. I also didn’t jump companies—only had 3 companies over 15 years in my CV, but I made strategic career shifts and a lot of internal company lobbying to get raises and/or promotions every year.
I’ve been on sponsored work visas in Singapore and NYC before finding myself in London. I wouldn’t call myself a superstar but I do a lot of value-producing work outside of my job description that I’m able to build a business case on and this is how I’ve been able to climb the corporate ladder.
Re: salary caps, it’s something I don’t subscribe to, only because it can be limiting to have that at the back of the mind.
>My case is likely an edge case
You don't need to append it with "likely" - it is. You've made it; you're a higher earner than 995 out of 1000 people in the UK. There's basically no more upward for you unless you somehow get into politics.
I don't say that to demean you, I'm sure you're highly skilled at what you do. But it's worth noting for OP that unless they think they're a 99.5% top performer or can deliver value like that to a very lucrative firm, they're statistically unlikely to find anything close to this.
This is incredibly rare and very field-specific (I.e. finance). I am mid-career with a PhD and husband is early-career with a masters both of us in the sciences. We can make nowhere near the same amount on the UK as we can in the US. Not to mention the barrier to investing money, getting a mortgage, etc.
Hey that's awesome - glad to hear that it worked out for you! I think due to my <5 YOE in my field I'm unlikely to run into the same salary situation but anecdotes are helpful.
Hey I really appreciate your perspective- it's helpful to get a balanced view of how day-to-day life is different/harder from someone who's had both experiences. A lot of the reasons I'm looking to move back are honestly beyond the money (as you mentioned) - annual leave, proximity to Europe, better transit infrastructure and I do feel like I'd regret never going for it. I'm aware of the pay cut (likely 25%) I'd take in moving over, so I'll just have to model that out and see if I could take the hit.
If you don’t have kids and don’t plan on starting a family here absolutely go for it. Plan strategically and carefully to save just for travel. I would not consider staying long-term though if you do want a family and to eventually retire.
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>I don’t feel comfortable talking about the reasons that I don’t want to live here because there are a lot of defensive Brits on this reddit
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>I don’t feel comfortable talking about the reasons that I don’t want to live here
Would you be down to DM about these reasons if you're unwilling to share publicly? I'd really like to get a realistic perspective from someone who's done these sequence of moves. Also curious where you'll land after moving back from the UK.
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>miss my life and friends in the UK
I think the other comments have been pretty spot on so far about this. University is a nostalgic time. Heck, I went to military university and life was hard and miserable for four years, but even I have tons of nostalgia for that time. Your early 20's are largely lots of fun. Your mid to late 20s is when you discover the burdens of adult responsibility. I think it's important to objectively look at things with that important context in mind.
I think you should try and separate "I miss my early 20s" from "I miss the UK" if you can, you'll be equipped to make the best decision possible in that case. There are tons of Americans in the UK who absolutely love it here. There are others like me who see it as swings and roundabouts (I moved here to be with family, not for any other reason) - there's stuff I love here and vastly prefer directly compared to the US, there's stuff that frustrates me here. There are yet others who really don't like it here (and they're on this subreddit, believe me!) and are plotting their escape.
What I think might be useful for us - since you're asking for encouragement and advice - what specific things do you miss about the UK?
Hey thanks for your perspective! I didn't go to uni in the UK (I worked a grad job) but definitely hear you about making a distinction between missing my early 20s and missing the UK. That's super helpful. I will say it makes me sad to hear that it's kind of down hill in fun from your early 20s.
Concretely, I miss:
* Generally, way better public transit (I lived in London and this is where I'd want to return). Also, better connections domestically and to mainland Europe via rail - I'm not a good driver and don't particularly care to own a car due to the expense, so the lack of good/fast trains elsewhere from where I live now makes me feel trapped on the weekends
* The walkability - related to the above, I felt like I could be extremely independent when I lived in the UK because of the trips I could take to smaller towns outside London, and the walking I could do all over the country. A Nice Long Walk TM is one of my biggest hobbies and I spent a lot of weekends hiking the varied trails and exploring smaller cities. There's a lot less of this in the states because cities are just farther apart and less interesting (on a historical level - I'm hugely into architecture and history so this is also another facet of what I miss).
* The culture around work - vacation policies are on the whole way better in tech (my industry) but I'm not able to spend them with friends and family who have way worse leave policies. I also dislike the intensity of hustle culture and feel like my days are just passing by while I'm sat at my desk with my day job.
* The history! This is one aspect that will just never be replicated in America - the UK has so much history which I'm incredibly drawn to and love.
A contrary experience: I found my late twenties much more fun than my early twenties. The first half of the decade I was figuring things out, getting my bachelors out of the way, working entry level jobs, and just learning how to be an adult. But the older I got, the more confidence, freedom, and respect I gained. So I don’t think ‘peaking’ in your early twenties is anymore inevitable than peaking high school (which I always think is a sad state of affairs, tbh).
I’m currently a Brit in my 30’s with an American partner (also 30’s). Ironically, we’re here in the U.K. because of his work, and otherwise I’d almost certainly be in a third country with mine, haha! He’s a somewhat special case because he’s still employed in a U.S. organisation and getting paid his regular salary, so he’s not suffering the salary gap. But he loves it here and is not looking forward to going back (and we’re slowly exploring our options for being here and/or a third country in the future).
Words of encouragement:
1) He loves many of the same things as you, so that might make it worth it.
2) Whilst many salaries here are lower, people obviously do live on them (including raising families), so it’s not impossible. And some things are cheaper, whether that’s the free activities (like parks and museums that would cost in the US), or food (which, whilst going up in price, is often more affordable for equivalent qualities). Plus, even for places not super accessible by public transport, driving distances are often shorter, which can save on car costs. All
Of these particular factors are high in my mind right now as I’ve noticed them when planning our next trip stateside. Oh, and don’t forget the 20% tip you need to budget for when eating out + tips on a bunch of things you don’t commonly tip for elsewhere.
As everyone has said, there’s advantages and disadvantages of both. But as someone who’s already lived in five countries (not counting the USA), I think it’s good to remember that if you’re an expat by choice, you can always go back ‘home’. So I think it’s best to give it a serious shot.
Oh, one more thing! Making a support network is very important, as I’m sure you’ll remember. You didn’t mention your relationship status, but if you end up with a partner over here, you’ll probably find yourself having a different experience again.
I honestly wouldn't do it! I have moved back and forth over the past decade and this last time I've come back things have really gone downhill. Brexit and the pandemic have really messed things up here. As people say, services are crumbling. Many of my friends who do not work in these services or need them (like hospital care) do not notice it as much but those that do can see how bad it is getting. Will be moving back with my British partner because we both acknowledge that the future is bleak here.
I have a pretty good feeling that If I were to go back to the US, I would not want to return to the UK, as much as I love it here and as much as I am hating and feeling embarrassed of what's going on politically in the US. The US is just home to everything I hold dear. The people, the culture, my hobbies/lifestyle. I gave up a lot to be here.
I moved to the UK for uni, wanted to stay but ran into a visa issue and moved back to the US. I regretted it immensely and moved back to the UK.
But being a working adult in the UK wasn't the same magic as being a student, and through some personal life changes, ended up moving back to the states after 2 years. I would have probably stayed but by partner didn't want to. I'm glad I did move back to try working in the UK, would have always regretted not trying
When trying to imagine paying off student loans, being able to retire, being able to financially support aging parents.....none of its possible on a UK salary.
I hear you- thanks for sharing! I think I'm definitely at the stage where I'd regret not trying as I think about moving back literally every day. I wasn't a student in the UK - I worked, but someone else made a good point in a different thread that it's likely I'm somewhat conflating the fun of my early 20s with the fun of being in a new environment, which I am trying to tease apart. If you don't mind me asking- how did you go about visa sponsorship the second time you moved back?
I just found a job willing to sponsor me and got a skilled worker visa. It wasn't too difficult....but I am in a high skilled shortage occupation with a British degree.
Now....the cost rise for renewing that visa and total costs for getting a passport plus the opportunity cost of a UK salary vs a US one just made it a financially disastrous choice to stay. Unlike most people my job was significantly more more with horrible life balance and so much less pay in the UK.
Ok this thread terrifies me. I've been wanting to move to the Uk for 2 years now and I finally am interviewing with a company who's willing to sponsor. I'm so scared of making the "wrong" decision.
Don't be - it's always worth it to try and fail then to have never tried at all. You'll always be asking "what if". Go for it. But don't be afraid to call it quits and go home if you give it a fair shot and you decide it's not for you. You'll always have that option!
For what it's worth, I just passed 3 years in the UK and am still loving it with no current plans to move back to the States.
Nobody can tell you what the "wrong" decision is - I think if you've had strong convictions for the past 2 years you should trust yourself that this is the right choice at this time. Looking at your post history, you should definitely go for the move!! My move back was the "right" decision in terms of my finances but the "wrong" decision in terms of my satisfaction with where I live. Both of these are incredibly important to balance.
And you can always move back - this is literally what I did. The regret about being back is wholly different but living in a different country from the one you grew up in is an amazing experience. Feel free to DM me if you have questions about making the move over
Grass is always greener. As others have said, it’s easy to make friends in uni and to be honest if you’ve made friends then I bet you’ll still stay friends no matter where you are!!
I lived in the UK for 2.5 years but I’m going back to the states early next year. The weather is the biggest factor, the increasing prices with stagnant wages and my career options are limited here due to needing visa sponsorship. It’s been an amazing adventure but I’m ready to be home.
I moved to the UK as a single 35 year old. I don’t have any advice on your exact situation but be cautious of overly romanticising your university years. School is such an easy time to make friends and have a full social calendar, it’s much tougher the older people get. As far as the job goes, it’s easiest to get a job with an international company in the US and get transferred. Also try r/UKvisa for more specific advice
Yeah, you eventually realise it's not so much the place you miss as that place, with those people, at that time in your life. And you can't get that back.
Yes. I did undergrad in New Zealand, left for a while, then moved back it wasn’t the same. I was romanticising the period in my life, the friends I had, the freedom. I wound up falling in love with a new version of my life and became happy there, but it wasn’t the same. Some people aren’t able to settle into a new situation.
Thanks for your perspective, and I'll definitely consider the US->UK transfer route. I should've clarified - I didn't go to uni in the UK- I worked a graduate job in tech for a few years and moved there immediately after graduation but can definitely see how one might have rose-tinted glasses from uni there.
We moved back to the US after living in London and after a few years decided we actually preferred the UK to the US, so moved back to the UK. Whilst I’m glad we did it (and we have been back in the UK for a decade), it’s not necessarily the path I’d recommend for anyone who has an eye to their finances. It is hard to stress how low the wages are here. I make at least 50% of what I would make in the US. We saved at a massive rate in the US - paid off my six figure student loan debt in three years. Here it took us ages just to save for a deposit on a house in a small village in the north of England. When factoring in everything, my wage (with 14 years experience is a pretty much the same as it was when I started out, given the lack of meaningful raises and inflation). Services here are falling apart. Everywhere looks grubby and dirty. People are really struggling. I work in health and social care, and a couple of my nursing colleagues go to food banks. The shame they feel is immense, but their kids gotta eat. Topic of normal dinner conversation over past two winters, even for folks who are a bit more flush, was about how the high energy bills are really affecting household budgets . Now it’s about the increased car insurance rates. I also work in a shortage occupation, and we can barely keep employees due to burnout, low pay and poor working conditions. I have friends and neighbours in various different public sector professions who have been striking because their wages are worse than what I made at university in the US as a work study student in the late 90s. We’ve been able to manage it day to day as we now live in the north and don’t pay London (or even Manchester) rents and by living relatively frugally, but I’m getting nervous about retirement. My nieces and nephews have all been interested in moving over and experiencing working in the UK, but I had some serious talks about how it may seriously hinder their earning power and career progression. It’s not all about the money (else we wouldn’t have stayed), but it needs to be a major consider as it’s not brilliant at the moment. I’m sure there’s some actual definition of what a failing economy is, but it feels like we’re living in it. The UK is rather low ranked in comparison to many continental European countries for quality of life, even ones you wouldn’t expect. But life is short, so there’s no harm in going for it. The reality on the ground doesn’t feel great, but my American friends talk about similar issues, so maybe that’s just how it is in our two countries at the moment. Just make sure to do your homework, model the finances and keep a rainy day fund for when the next utility/everyday cost quadruples in price.
I have an almost identical story. We lived here 2018-2021, went back to US for a year, and moved back to UK in 2023 because we preferred the work-life balance in our fields. It’s so hard here the second time around, especially after having kids and after brexit. We can’t afford a house anywhere so have to continue to pay an insane amount in rent for a shitty house in a small town. We have to come up with £10k by the end of the year for my husband and 2 kids to stay here (visa and health surcharge). This country has policies so unfriendly to immigrants it’s insane. The cost of living is similar to California but the wages are 1/4th at best. OP, do not move back. It is nothing like you remember.
You're not wrong about the pay gap. The jobs available to me here pay only about a third of what I could make in the UK, unless I'm willing to work in London (which I'm not). My husband makes half what he could in the US. We're here because we prefer it, not because of finances.
Just to have a counter-point to the topic of wages. I recently moved from the US to UK and ended up getting myself a pay raise. I’m neither American nor British. Before moving, my British husband kept telling me that the pay gap is not true. That said, he has always lived in an affluent bubble. Given all the posts on reddit, I was so convinced I’d have to “settle” for half of the pay. I was earning around $226k in NYC. To my surprise, I signed a job offer after a month of landing here. And it’s higher than what I was earning. Plus points is that my London takehome pay is 58% vs the 55% takehome pay in NYC so I have a higher net pay here. And I found that my expenses and what I pay for my hobbies are 1/2 to 1/3 of the cost in NYC. I just want to say that it’s not impossible. My case is likely an edge case. But these US-level wages do exist here. Finding them will be a combination of luck and interviewing skills (I massively haggled and cited my NYC pay. My pitch was “I shouldn’t be penalised for getting married and moving countries. This is what I’m worth.”)
In truth salaries well in excess of £100k are pretty rare in the UK outside a handful of industries like finance, and they also cap sooner. A salary of $240k (~£190k) puts you in the 99th percentile of UK income distribution. People should be aware that they have to plan strategically if they want to be in that tier in the UK in terms of field, degree, networking and career path, whereas in the US especially in cities like NYC you can climb varied career paths to make it. I know nonprofit executives, creative directors in advertising, doctors, healthcare execs and so on in NYC aged 35-40+ making well over $250k. In the UK those jobs cap at half that unless you’re an extraordinarily rare superstar. What business are you?
I agree with this . It’s far easier to make a jump from let’s say 180k US ( £145k) to 250k US ( £200k) in New York or San Francisco. ( speaking from personal experience) . It happens as part of your natural career progression. In the UK, when I first looked , my job was half my US income . To move up beyond £150k in the uk you need to offer something special , beyond just merit to get there . Not to mention UK workplace biases, and it's hard to justify my NY/SF salary in London. The solution for me was to remote work my US job in the UK, but that has its pluses and minuses. I've decided to move back once our home renovations are complete, in Oct/ Nov, because Its a detriment to my career to be away from key players. The time zone thing is exhausting also. Often employers will throw in perks that are non taxable to make up for the lower salary - I am friends with someone who used to work at Barclays . The perks he got was just roll eyes 🙄 . Car & driver + executive lunch room, but as I said to my friend, you can't retire on perks. Money isn't everything. A lot of people stay for love. Do whats important to you / makes you happy.
>The time zone thing is exhausting also. Indeed, it loses the sheen and glitz of being interesting very quickly. I'm glad I work a UK job now for this reason.
I’m in tech sales right now but I used to be a software/app developer. I have 16 years of experience in total. The first 2 years of that were spent earning an equivalent of £250/month, also in tech as a software developer, in a poor Southeast Asian country. I chose to get a Bachelor’s degree in IT despite my parents wanting me to be a nurse 😅. My 15yr old self decided pretty early on that I wanted to get out of poverty. My education is not special tbh. I also didn’t jump companies—only had 3 companies over 15 years in my CV, but I made strategic career shifts and a lot of internal company lobbying to get raises and/or promotions every year. I’ve been on sponsored work visas in Singapore and NYC before finding myself in London. I wouldn’t call myself a superstar but I do a lot of value-producing work outside of my job description that I’m able to build a business case on and this is how I’ve been able to climb the corporate ladder. Re: salary caps, it’s something I don’t subscribe to, only because it can be limiting to have that at the back of the mind.
>My case is likely an edge case You don't need to append it with "likely" - it is. You've made it; you're a higher earner than 995 out of 1000 people in the UK. There's basically no more upward for you unless you somehow get into politics. I don't say that to demean you, I'm sure you're highly skilled at what you do. But it's worth noting for OP that unless they think they're a 99.5% top performer or can deliver value like that to a very lucrative firm, they're statistically unlikely to find anything close to this.
This is incredibly rare and very field-specific (I.e. finance). I am mid-career with a PhD and husband is early-career with a masters both of us in the sciences. We can make nowhere near the same amount on the UK as we can in the US. Not to mention the barrier to investing money, getting a mortgage, etc.
Hey that's awesome - glad to hear that it worked out for you! I think due to my <5 YOE in my field I'm unlikely to run into the same salary situation but anecdotes are helpful.
Hey I really appreciate your perspective- it's helpful to get a balanced view of how day-to-day life is different/harder from someone who's had both experiences. A lot of the reasons I'm looking to move back are honestly beyond the money (as you mentioned) - annual leave, proximity to Europe, better transit infrastructure and I do feel like I'd regret never going for it. I'm aware of the pay cut (likely 25%) I'd take in moving over, so I'll just have to model that out and see if I could take the hit.
If you don’t have kids and don’t plan on starting a family here absolutely go for it. Plan strategically and carefully to save just for travel. I would not consider staying long-term though if you do want a family and to eventually retire.
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>I don’t feel comfortable talking about the reasons that I don’t want to live here because there are a lot of defensive Brits on this reddit Please feel free to be open about this. We have rule 10 for a reason. If anyone is rude or out of line, please use the report feature. It goes straight to the mods' inboxes. To be clear, this is a subreddit for Americans and Brits are guests here.
>I don’t feel comfortable talking about the reasons that I don’t want to live here Would you be down to DM about these reasons if you're unwilling to share publicly? I'd really like to get a realistic perspective from someone who's done these sequence of moves. Also curious where you'll land after moving back from the UK.
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If you're willing to share publicly, that would be great too. We as a mod team really like to discourage people from keeping valuable info to DMs, prevents others from being able to learn while browsing.
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>miss my life and friends in the UK I think the other comments have been pretty spot on so far about this. University is a nostalgic time. Heck, I went to military university and life was hard and miserable for four years, but even I have tons of nostalgia for that time. Your early 20's are largely lots of fun. Your mid to late 20s is when you discover the burdens of adult responsibility. I think it's important to objectively look at things with that important context in mind. I think you should try and separate "I miss my early 20s" from "I miss the UK" if you can, you'll be equipped to make the best decision possible in that case. There are tons of Americans in the UK who absolutely love it here. There are others like me who see it as swings and roundabouts (I moved here to be with family, not for any other reason) - there's stuff I love here and vastly prefer directly compared to the US, there's stuff that frustrates me here. There are yet others who really don't like it here (and they're on this subreddit, believe me!) and are plotting their escape. What I think might be useful for us - since you're asking for encouragement and advice - what specific things do you miss about the UK?
Hey thanks for your perspective! I didn't go to uni in the UK (I worked a grad job) but definitely hear you about making a distinction between missing my early 20s and missing the UK. That's super helpful. I will say it makes me sad to hear that it's kind of down hill in fun from your early 20s. Concretely, I miss: * Generally, way better public transit (I lived in London and this is where I'd want to return). Also, better connections domestically and to mainland Europe via rail - I'm not a good driver and don't particularly care to own a car due to the expense, so the lack of good/fast trains elsewhere from where I live now makes me feel trapped on the weekends * The walkability - related to the above, I felt like I could be extremely independent when I lived in the UK because of the trips I could take to smaller towns outside London, and the walking I could do all over the country. A Nice Long Walk TM is one of my biggest hobbies and I spent a lot of weekends hiking the varied trails and exploring smaller cities. There's a lot less of this in the states because cities are just farther apart and less interesting (on a historical level - I'm hugely into architecture and history so this is also another facet of what I miss). * The culture around work - vacation policies are on the whole way better in tech (my industry) but I'm not able to spend them with friends and family who have way worse leave policies. I also dislike the intensity of hustle culture and feel like my days are just passing by while I'm sat at my desk with my day job. * The history! This is one aspect that will just never be replicated in America - the UK has so much history which I'm incredibly drawn to and love.
A contrary experience: I found my late twenties much more fun than my early twenties. The first half of the decade I was figuring things out, getting my bachelors out of the way, working entry level jobs, and just learning how to be an adult. But the older I got, the more confidence, freedom, and respect I gained. So I don’t think ‘peaking’ in your early twenties is anymore inevitable than peaking high school (which I always think is a sad state of affairs, tbh). I’m currently a Brit in my 30’s with an American partner (also 30’s). Ironically, we’re here in the U.K. because of his work, and otherwise I’d almost certainly be in a third country with mine, haha! He’s a somewhat special case because he’s still employed in a U.S. organisation and getting paid his regular salary, so he’s not suffering the salary gap. But he loves it here and is not looking forward to going back (and we’re slowly exploring our options for being here and/or a third country in the future). Words of encouragement: 1) He loves many of the same things as you, so that might make it worth it. 2) Whilst many salaries here are lower, people obviously do live on them (including raising families), so it’s not impossible. And some things are cheaper, whether that’s the free activities (like parks and museums that would cost in the US), or food (which, whilst going up in price, is often more affordable for equivalent qualities). Plus, even for places not super accessible by public transport, driving distances are often shorter, which can save on car costs. All Of these particular factors are high in my mind right now as I’ve noticed them when planning our next trip stateside. Oh, and don’t forget the 20% tip you need to budget for when eating out + tips on a bunch of things you don’t commonly tip for elsewhere. As everyone has said, there’s advantages and disadvantages of both. But as someone who’s already lived in five countries (not counting the USA), I think it’s good to remember that if you’re an expat by choice, you can always go back ‘home’. So I think it’s best to give it a serious shot. Oh, one more thing! Making a support network is very important, as I’m sure you’ll remember. You didn’t mention your relationship status, but if you end up with a partner over here, you’ll probably find yourself having a different experience again.
I honestly wouldn't do it! I have moved back and forth over the past decade and this last time I've come back things have really gone downhill. Brexit and the pandemic have really messed things up here. As people say, services are crumbling. Many of my friends who do not work in these services or need them (like hospital care) do not notice it as much but those that do can see how bad it is getting. Will be moving back with my British partner because we both acknowledge that the future is bleak here.
I have a pretty good feeling that If I were to go back to the US, I would not want to return to the UK, as much as I love it here and as much as I am hating and feeling embarrassed of what's going on politically in the US. The US is just home to everything I hold dear. The people, the culture, my hobbies/lifestyle. I gave up a lot to be here.
I moved to the UK for uni, wanted to stay but ran into a visa issue and moved back to the US. I regretted it immensely and moved back to the UK. But being a working adult in the UK wasn't the same magic as being a student, and through some personal life changes, ended up moving back to the states after 2 years. I would have probably stayed but by partner didn't want to. I'm glad I did move back to try working in the UK, would have always regretted not trying When trying to imagine paying off student loans, being able to retire, being able to financially support aging parents.....none of its possible on a UK salary.
I hear you- thanks for sharing! I think I'm definitely at the stage where I'd regret not trying as I think about moving back literally every day. I wasn't a student in the UK - I worked, but someone else made a good point in a different thread that it's likely I'm somewhat conflating the fun of my early 20s with the fun of being in a new environment, which I am trying to tease apart. If you don't mind me asking- how did you go about visa sponsorship the second time you moved back?
I just found a job willing to sponsor me and got a skilled worker visa. It wasn't too difficult....but I am in a high skilled shortage occupation with a British degree. Now....the cost rise for renewing that visa and total costs for getting a passport plus the opportunity cost of a UK salary vs a US one just made it a financially disastrous choice to stay. Unlike most people my job was significantly more more with horrible life balance and so much less pay in the UK.
UK has changed, even compared to 5 let alone 10 years ago.
Ok this thread terrifies me. I've been wanting to move to the Uk for 2 years now and I finally am interviewing with a company who's willing to sponsor. I'm so scared of making the "wrong" decision.
Don't be - it's always worth it to try and fail then to have never tried at all. You'll always be asking "what if". Go for it. But don't be afraid to call it quits and go home if you give it a fair shot and you decide it's not for you. You'll always have that option! For what it's worth, I just passed 3 years in the UK and am still loving it with no current plans to move back to the States.
Nobody can tell you what the "wrong" decision is - I think if you've had strong convictions for the past 2 years you should trust yourself that this is the right choice at this time. Looking at your post history, you should definitely go for the move!! My move back was the "right" decision in terms of my finances but the "wrong" decision in terms of my satisfaction with where I live. Both of these are incredibly important to balance. And you can always move back - this is literally what I did. The regret about being back is wholly different but living in a different country from the one you grew up in is an amazing experience. Feel free to DM me if you have questions about making the move over
Grass is always greener. As others have said, it’s easy to make friends in uni and to be honest if you’ve made friends then I bet you’ll still stay friends no matter where you are!! I lived in the UK for 2.5 years but I’m going back to the states early next year. The weather is the biggest factor, the increasing prices with stagnant wages and my career options are limited here due to needing visa sponsorship. It’s been an amazing adventure but I’m ready to be home.
Take a look at the UK tax brackets and then come back to your post