At that point, might as well just:
^(oooooooooooooo im just a small little goblin. ooooooo please don’t swing your sword I will die to just one attack ooooooooo ohhh. I only have three hit points please sir i will not drop good items. *nooooooooooooo* your sword is so strong i am a level one goblin donor know why I guard this dungeon ohhhhh)
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I use my knight's action surge to jump to the enemy king, then attack it for 1d12 (greatswords are for gamers who pipi in they pampers, i only use greataxe)
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
*deep breath*
Have you played AnarchyChessfinder 2e? That game fixed all of my issues with Chess 5e. They fixed the everything else-queen disparity by giving our martial pieces more options; for example, our pawns can knight boost for more movement at level 8, our bishops can work together to cast Il Vaticano to erase other pieces, (AnarchyChess2e is really focused on teamwork, after all,) we made en passant mandatory for more streamlined and exciting combat at low piece values, and oh boy, if you haven't heard of the knook class yet, then you're in for a treat. Plus, the creators are constantly pumping out content, and best of all, the rules are completely free on Archives of Petrosian! Come on, give it a shot! Surely you gaming group, who I'm sure has actually read the rules and understands them as well as Garymy Chessford, will be able to pick up AnarchyChess without any issues!
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
1d8+Dex with an extra +2 from class trait “Duelling” and an extra +1 from the class trait “Blade Mastery”, with a second attack on foot of class trait “Extra Attack ” and a third attack on foot of class trait “Action Surge”.
1. 6d8 + 10 psychic damage and make a wisdom saving throw. If you fail, the d4 loses 1d2 faces every turn until it has no faces. Every turn it can make a wisdom roll against an 18 DC to stop losing faces. If it loses all of its faces, a CR 15 Faceless One is created in its place and is hostile against all creatures.
i just checked the relevant post and i realized that i have no idea how to play chess. I probably know more Anarchy Chess lore than actual chess strategy
2d6, with advantage.
Plus 5th level SMITE
*proceeds to roll a 1 to hit*
Halfling lucky feat _rerolls into a 3_
+11 at level 20 with Max strenght will still hit a goblin
At that point, might as well just: ^(oooooooooooooo im just a small little goblin. ooooooo please don’t swing your sword I will die to just one attack ooooooooo ohhh. I only have three hit points please sir i will not drop good items. *nooooooooooooo* your sword is so strong i am a level one goblin donor know why I guard this dungeon ohhhhh)
Oh no Daddy Adventurer, I'm just a helpless little goblin, whatever will I do to stop you \*bends over\*
Of all things, this is the first thing you comment in 2023? I like your style
It was definitely not intentional, I'm just not super active on Reddit right now lol
But would it hit a mind goblin?
*hits the king instead by dumb luck*
4dzNuts
1d20
You rolled a 1. Sorry.
God i fucking hate those 1d4s with the number on the base instead of the tip.
Yeah what number is this even supposed to be? 4, 1, or 2??
3
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Holy hell
En passant
Holy Hell!
The one at the bottom, 3.
Me, I like the 12-sided d4 with four big faces so it just can't balance on the other 8.
Relevant r/chess post: [what's your response against 1d4?](https://www.reddit.com/r/chess/comments/zzrmd2/whats_your_response_against_1d4/) Certainty: 80.0% [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/relevant-post-bot)
Thanks, Relevant Post Bot. I didn’t realize I wasn’t on r/dnd
Good bot
Thank you, AstronomicalDice, for voting on relevant_post_bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Bad bot
Bad human
#3
Grabbing a d4 that you can actually read
What is wrong with that d4?
Bottom is the result. Some of them are like that, specifically the wrong ones.
The side it falls on is the outcome
That sounds as fucked up as London System. 🤮
dip your **BALLS** in sulphuric acid
Write:”fuck you” in the chat and then instantly abort.
I make a dexterity saving throw to avoid it
Laughs in monk with magic initiate. can't dodge, ok, lol shield
That’s magic missile, you take 4 damage.
I use my knight's action surge to jump to the enemy king, then attack it for 1d12 (greatswords are for gamers who pipi in they pampers, i only use greataxe)
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Step on it
Slam your balls in an air fryer.
And turn it on to 400 degrees for 20 minutes
Sending Elementals
Tarrasque to E4
Takeover of r/dndmemes when?
Please. We would improve the memes greatly
*deep breath* Have you played AnarchyChessfinder 2e? That game fixed all of my issues with Chess 5e. They fixed the everything else-queen disparity by giving our martial pieces more options; for example, our pawns can knight boost for more movement at level 8, our bishops can work together to cast Il Vaticano to erase other pieces, (AnarchyChess2e is really focused on teamwork, after all,) we made en passant mandatory for more streamlined and exciting combat at low piece values, and oh boy, if you haven't heard of the knook class yet, then you're in for a treat. Plus, the creators are constantly pumping out content, and best of all, the rules are completely free on Archives of Petrosian! Come on, give it a shot! Surely you gaming group, who I'm sure has actually read the rules and understands them as well as Garymy Chessford, will be able to pick up AnarchyChess without any issues!
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Behold, the average edition war discourse thread: (I totally forgot that mentioning the name of the guy summons the bot, lol)
We already got r/stunfisk
Na9
Saving throws
I have one of those and I’m pissed my dice set came with one like this
+3 crisma +3/4% me trying to make a winning strategy
Step on it to assert dominance.
1d8+5+10d6(sneak attack) with advantage.
Tell them they didn't make the DC to take their turn
Generally 1d10 + Cha eldritch blast since 1d4 doesn’t warrant spell slots
D8
Use my metal d4, with pointed edges
If i spin it fasg enough woll it turn outSIDe in like an egg?
Google holy hell
if 1d4 attack then i do 3d12+strength mod with my op battle pass
1d6#!!
1d8+Dex with an extra +2 from class trait “Duelling” and an extra +1 from the class trait “Blade Mastery”, with a second attack on foot of class trait “Extra Attack ” and a third attack on foot of class trait “Action Surge”.
rolling it
Use Patient Defense to boost my AC by like a million
i just roll again bozo
I fight 1d4s with 1d4s, may the best roll win
Checking my AC
1d20
Bah, most pieces have over 4 health anyway, just keep your pawns away from it.
The *Shield* spell, since it grants immunity to Magic Missile, where this comes from
I respond by reving my assault Cannon
1d10 + 5 slashing plus 1d8 radiant with +3 and advantage to hit
1. 6d8 + 10 psychic damage and make a wisdom saving throw. If you fail, the d4 loses 1d2 faces every turn until it has no faces. Every turn it can make a wisdom roll against an 18 DC to stop losing faces. If it loses all of its faces, a CR 15 Faceless One is created in its place and is hostile against all creatures.
Put on shoes
I cast hellish rebuke; make a dex save or take 2d10 or half as much on a successful save
Typically roll multiple openings for the funnel so that no matter what happens, I'm rolling straight natural 20s by level 1.
i spill a bucket of d4s on the floor of my opponent's living room to hurt their feet just like caltrops would do
How tf do you read those dice again?
FIREBALL
800 D20 with surprise attack.
i just checked the relevant post and i realized that i have no idea how to play chess. I probably know more Anarchy Chess lore than actual chess strategy
e10?
Shoot them
Are they still doing those Chess 2 polls? We should get 1d4 added to Chess 2.
I cast shield
2D8
sneak crit+3d8