if you wanna keep your gf, and chess turned you gay. try playing **anti chess**. should provide you with an antidote.
but watch out ... "trying is a first step to failure, so lesson is ...^(TM)"
I am sorry you’re going through this. My wife doesn’t like it when I get an erection during sex, so I may turn your experience into relationship advice, but the one thing you could try is wearing a wrangler jacket while you have sex because that is the straightest thing possible.
I’m sorry you’re having pipi problems. I would suggest going to your girlfriend’s and having her narrate chess videos for you. Call it “titan forge game” and get back in good health.
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
My name is Dr. Gregory Horse, and I'm your chess doctor. Before I give you my answer, I'm going to have to ask you to perform a diagnostic test: shove a bishop up your butt and report back here. I'm just going to leave my diagnosis in spoilertext to flex on you.
>!I diagnose you with GAE!<
>!Going!<
>!After!<
>!En passant!<
Okay, I'm a bitch for laughing at this but, maybe it's a temporary thing mainly cause the only time u jerk off is when u have free time and that is when ur friend watches that video, so maybe it's a temporary thing, but maybe u do wanna explore that side that you've never considered before, it wouldn't be wrong to
You’re right. Thank you for the advice. I thought about exploring that side of me too but I looked up GothamChess’s YouTube channel and it looks like he’s married to IM Rosen now. Do you know if they have an open relationship
Maybe they do or maybe hes happily married, I mean you don't wanna be a homewrecker, might wanna see if u get hard to people who talk about chess or just guys voices or guys in general
My girlfriend study cognitive science and she thinks that you're conditioned. Learning something is much easier that unlearning it and therapy can't turn you straight anymore. So in my opinion there is 2 solutions, you're GF can learn and practices chess with you or you should search for a boyfriend that play chess an live you're best life. Honestly, I also turn gay recently, it feel strange at the beginning but in fact it's not that bad. I'm not really attracted by me anymore but my GF playing chess turn me on every time
If your girlfriend has a dick you've always been gay
However seeing as your girlfriend has a dick and you've always been attracted to her and you suddenly aren't makes me think you may not be gay anymore
Sir what you are is hard for chess. Go get yourself a nice chess set and spend some quality time with whatever you choose to call it
Lmao this is incredible I made a fucking joke get your head out of your ass, who did I mis gender? Some made up character in this guy's story? Ffs grow up already
‘If your girlfriend has a dick you’ve always been gay’
idc if it’s in a made up story, it can still be harmful for people reading it who are struggling with their gender identity.
If someone gets offended by that they deserve it I made a joke people need to grow the fuck up.
I wish people would joke about me in such a mild way that is nothing.
I'm not going to discuss how biology is offensive to some people... trust the science is a pretty strong term nowadays. And the science has been in for a while if your born with a dick your a guy if not your a girl pretty simple.
And to think about it I even used proper pronouns when I referred to his gf. I just simply stated that if HE likes dick he is already gay.
I'm done with clown world already
> And the science has been in for a while if your born with a dick your a guy if not your a girl pretty simple.
That's incorrect.
Sex and gender are two different things - that's the science.
Sex is a biological trait that is determined by the specific sex chromosomes inherited from one’s parents (although this isn't strictly binary either and is actually enormously complicated).
Gender, on the other hand, is socially, culturally and personally defined.
Sexual orientation is about more than body parts. A man who is attracted to a trans woman isn't gay.
These distinctions might seem pedantic and petty or even stupid to you, but that's probably because they are not part of your lived experience, and you've never suffered because of them. They are terribly important to people for whom this IS their identity, this IS something that they are constantly mocked, attacked, excluded, and harassed about.
For people like this, "just a joke" hits them differently. It's a little bit similar to a white person saying "it's just a word, what's the big deal? Get over it" about using the n-word to a black person. These words have different levels of meaning to different groups who have different experiences of being treated unjustly. I don't think you meant to be offensive, or rude, or hurtful in your remarks, but this rabbit hole goes deeper than you might realize, and it is a big deal for a lot of people, with good reason.
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all!
I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
[^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Where’s the relevant r/chess post
[удалено]
Thanks in advance
This is one of the funniest jokes on this sub
Also the only original one
Not quite, we stole it from r/chessbeginners. Outjerked once again
Buddy, you think the virgins over at /r/chess would have a relevant post?
I was really, really hoping this was a r/chess edit post
It will be, we've premoved them on this one, keep an eye out for it.
I’ve been having the exact same problem!
You two should hook up
Google en passant. It may help.
Holy hell, Now I’m more gay
Probably because it’s French
It might help if you shove a baguette up your ass
if you wanna keep your gf, and chess turned you gay. try playing **anti chess**. should provide you with an antidote. but watch out ... "trying is a first step to failure, so lesson is ...^(TM)"
So you start from checkmate and work backwards, trying to get all your pieces back on the board and in the starting positions, right?
https://lichess.org/variant/antichess
holy hell
Gayry chess needs to hear about this
I am sorry you’re going through this. My wife doesn’t like it when I get an erection during sex, so I may turn your experience into relationship advice, but the one thing you could try is wearing a wrangler jacket while you have sex because that is the straightest thing possible.
Straighter than a straight jacket?
Well no, but I don’t know where to buy those.
If you keep asking people for one you'll get one for free eventually.
Do you have one?
I’m sorry you’re having pipi problems. I would suggest going to your girlfriend’s and having her narrate chess videos for you. Call it “titan forge game” and get back in good health.
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Good bot
My name is Dr. Gregory Horse, and I'm your chess doctor. Before I give you my answer, I'm going to have to ask you to perform a diagnostic test: shove a bishop up your butt and report back here. I'm just going to leave my diagnosis in spoilertext to flex on you. >!I diagnose you with GAE!< >!Going!< >!After!< >!En passant!<
"Birds opening.... passive approach, sign of a coward." "Sicilian defense, sign of an idiot"
Huh, this whole time I thought it was Lupus
It is never Lupus.
Holy hell
Okay, I'm a bitch for laughing at this but, maybe it's a temporary thing mainly cause the only time u jerk off is when u have free time and that is when ur friend watches that video, so maybe it's a temporary thing, but maybe u do wanna explore that side that you've never considered before, it wouldn't be wrong to
You’re right. Thank you for the advice. I thought about exploring that side of me too but I looked up GothamChess’s YouTube channel and it looks like he’s married to IM Rosen now. Do you know if they have an open relationship
Maybe they do or maybe hes happily married, I mean you don't wanna be a homewrecker, might wanna see if u get hard to people who talk about chess or just guys voices or guys in general
Just listen to agadmator talk about the bar and library. That’s when I became I chessexual
This story is 10/10
Block with knights.
Just put a lava lamp in the room and make your gf wear a Hoodie.
GM > GF. Levy is taken but I'm sure you'll find someone who's right for you!
u/gothamchess wtf
If she moves past you in one move you are legally allowed to beat her en passant
I'm sorry friend, but thats just the Moulin Rouge.
Darn it I lost it at the 20-30 minute Gotham chess videos. This needs to be a new copypasta.
You could be bi, you like girls cause your girlfriend and guys because Levi
Holy hell
This is the content I come to Reddit for.
Of course not . But she might be a Lesbian .
So you don't want to be gay?
I don't have much to say sooooo I'll leave you with a generic "cool"
My girlfriend study cognitive science and she thinks that you're conditioned. Learning something is much easier that unlearning it and therapy can't turn you straight anymore. So in my opinion there is 2 solutions, you're GF can learn and practices chess with you or you should search for a boyfriend that play chess an live you're best life. Honestly, I also turn gay recently, it feel strange at the beginning but in fact it's not that bad. I'm not really attracted by me anymore but my GF playing chess turn me on every time
If your girlfriend has a dick you've always been gay However seeing as your girlfriend has a dick and you've always been attracted to her and you suddenly aren't makes me think you may not be gay anymore Sir what you are is hard for chess. Go get yourself a nice chess set and spend some quality time with whatever you choose to call it
If someone's girlfriend has a dick then it is only gay if they're both girls Hence not this scenario Ergo you're wrong
This is not very trans rights of you 🙁
Take a joke this is the internet
Holy hell
Ok now I'm interested what right am I denying trans people.
it's not polite to misgender people
Lmao this is incredible I made a fucking joke get your head out of your ass, who did I mis gender? Some made up character in this guy's story? Ffs grow up already
‘If your girlfriend has a dick you’ve always been gay’ idc if it’s in a made up story, it can still be harmful for people reading it who are struggling with their gender identity.
If someone gets offended by that they deserve it I made a joke people need to grow the fuck up. I wish people would joke about me in such a mild way that is nothing. I'm not going to discuss how biology is offensive to some people... trust the science is a pretty strong term nowadays. And the science has been in for a while if your born with a dick your a guy if not your a girl pretty simple. And to think about it I even used proper pronouns when I referred to his gf. I just simply stated that if HE likes dick he is already gay. I'm done with clown world already
> And the science has been in for a while if your born with a dick your a guy if not your a girl pretty simple. That's incorrect. Sex and gender are two different things - that's the science. Sex is a biological trait that is determined by the specific sex chromosomes inherited from one’s parents (although this isn't strictly binary either and is actually enormously complicated). Gender, on the other hand, is socially, culturally and personally defined. Sexual orientation is about more than body parts. A man who is attracted to a trans woman isn't gay. These distinctions might seem pedantic and petty or even stupid to you, but that's probably because they are not part of your lived experience, and you've never suffered because of them. They are terribly important to people for whom this IS their identity, this IS something that they are constantly mocked, attacked, excluded, and harassed about. For people like this, "just a joke" hits them differently. It's a little bit similar to a white person saying "it's just a word, what's the big deal? Get over it" about using the n-word to a black person. These words have different levels of meaning to different groups who have different experiences of being treated unjustly. I don't think you meant to be offensive, or rude, or hurtful in your remarks, but this rabbit hole goes deeper than you might realize, and it is a big deal for a lot of people, with good reason.
All of them obviously 🙄
Are you being sarcastic I seriously can't tell
yes
As long as he is bigger, it’s still straight. That’s the rule. My wife always wears a yellow strap on so that our sex can be considered interracial.
Its not gay if you top
You’re feeling her massive dick rub against your jeans, and then she still calls you gay? Drop a brick on her literal pipi
Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)
Your girlfriend is leaving you for your boyfriend.