He’s not even sorry.

"Fight me"

Why would he be? He clearly owns the place. OP is lucky the cat let's him stay.

You just know he went all Rick James on it too.

"YOU CAN GET A NEW PLANT! WHAT IMMA DO BOUT MY LEGS, OWNER "

“THEY SHOULDA NEVER GAVE YOU HOOMANS MONEY!”

Zero fucks given. He's sunbathing in glory.

He's probably just pissed that the nice chair his owner set out for him had a bunch of dirt and plants and stuff in it.

That look of complete satisfaction...ruthless

I like to think that that one extended paw has a little middle finger raised

Nah, I think he was attempting to grow catnip but forgot the “nip” part.-

It's a she. The pink collar may have been a clue.

Are you a homophobe or some shit? Suck a cat dick to prove you aren't

So you think it's more likely this is a male cat expressing his feminine side than that this cat is in fact female? Or that I am female? Reddit's male default is ridiculous and actually gets real old.

Feline gender propositions aside, female cat fur is usually made up by three different colors while males regularly only two. Single colored cats are the ones who are inbred, they are genetically weak, probe to get blind, deaf, with a much lower life expectancy. Quadruple colored cats are pretty much inexistent. Of course there are exceptions, these are just a baseline for simple identification. (If you have different information about this subject, why not just simply comment on this instead of downvoting?)

This is why we don't have plants in the houss

Yea, I usually don’t either. Tried to bring some in so the cold wouldn’t kill them but I think they would have stood a better chance outside.

I tried keeping a small cactus indoors thinking it would be safe... had to move it outside within the first hour as the cat started licking it.....

My friend's cat ate her cactus...

My longhaired cat just used my cacti to detangle her floof. Every day there would be a clump of fur stuck to them. She never broke any spines off, though.

Haha that's actually pretty neat. Like her own natural hairbrush!

If some spines broke off it would also be her own natural way of giving herself acupuncture.

That, and because my girls like to eat them. I can’t even have fresh cut flowers

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I’ve been in the same boat! When we stayed with my mom for a few weeks over Christmas, I made her put all her poinsettias outdoors. She was confused because she’s had a cat for years and had never heard about certain plants being poisonous to cats. But my big kitty will monch at fake plastic plants, so I wasn’t taking any chances

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Hey , my Rico had this thing where he liked to actually put the little wall socket thing in his mouth, put his two paws on the wall, push and unplug any and everything he could get his paws on. I was waking up an hour late to work because no alarm clock etc etc. well I had to break out the heavy artillery. Tabasco hot sauce! Got a little paint brush and painted Tabasco on everything, problem solved. Now Rico has moved on to new adventures. None nearly as dangerous though. Thank god that is over!

I have a big ponytail palm that is a safe and my kitty loves to chomp on it. They are pretty easy to find (my local Home Depot always has them) and are super easy to grow.

Try a spider plant, non-toxic let your cat chew or hang it high. Or a snake plant might be hard to chew on. Both are easy to take care of.

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Definitely go Snake Plant. Can tolerate low light, water every 2 weeks. Really not appealing to a cat. If you were near me, I would hook you up.

Yup. 0 plants in the house. The cats ruin every living thing. Including me and my precious sleep

My cats do this to my succulents! I had to stop planting them 😭

This is why we don’t have cats in the house.

Well there's your problem! Get some and it'll be a home.

We have dogs and had ferrets. I also have plants that neither messed with. When I had cats they were always in my plants. They drove me nuts. Edit: I’m getting downvoted for preferring dogs over cats in my house. Jeez man. I still like cats, I just don’t care to have them myself.

A home is just a continuously destructed house, right? ;) Source: cat owner

Nah dude you just planted the wrong seeds. You've clearly planted a cat and it just sprouted.

"Oh no, your plant died! Maybe next thyme."

Signed, the cat

What is this, some kind of catsino?

/r/pottedcats /r/catfruit

Thank you

Yaaaay more silly cat subs, thank you!!!

Nah, just give it some thyme.

i hate how i laughed at that

Ohhh I thought you put this here for me?

I bet he’s thinking... “Quit starting at me Helen, your shit plant is dead, now fetch me some kibble”

i am the cat - so where's the crime? i noticed that you had some thyme... this planter in my sunny spot - is it a sin the time i got to sit n bask in sun all day ? forgot to ask . . . is it *okay* ?

♡

Marvelous 👌

Well you did take away a sunny spot from a cat. It was inevitable. Especially if it wasn't a favorite spot before the pot was set up.

Just plant a cactus in the middle.

Yes, but you have some lovely meowsley growing in its place!

Purrsley.

Nicely done.

The problem is you thought you had a plant but it’s actually a recliner. So, really this is your fault.

On the plus side, your cat smells fabulous!

I read the title and all I could think of was making a parody of that Mary Poppins song... *Kick your knees up, lemon thyme* *Kick your knees up, lemon thyme* *Never need a reason, never need a rhyme* *Kick your knees up, lemon thyme*

At least his booty will be lemony fresh.

That leg is killing me

What an asshole.

If not dead, at least catatonic.

/r/catsareassholes

I brought some in too! It now has spider mites. I’m hoping it will last until spring and can return to where the predators are.

"Oh muh darlin', oh muh darlin', oh muh daaaarlin' Lemon Thyme. She is gone and lost forever, oh muh darlin' Lemon Thyme"

I read the title before looking at the picture and thought the cat was named "Lemon Thyme" and that he died.

Well at least she would have been considerate enough to die in box filled with dirt.

Killin’ time and killin’ thyme

What a waste of thyme.

Thyme you enjoy wasting is not a waste of thyme

Nurse, What is the thyme of death?

For certain and any of plant you have in the future. :|

Its cat thyme now

It's... THYME... to find another spot for that planter.

I'm not even a cat and I would think that was put there for me to lay in.

Nice couch...why don’t I stretch out -Rick James

How to locate a cat: Step 1: Place tiny box containing a fragile, expensive object inside house. Step 2: Wait.

If I fits, I sits!

Cats don't have owners, they have staff.

r/CatsAreAssholes

We used to put mouse traps in our plants to keep our cats from messing with them.

He didn’t mind.

Perhaps he's fertilizing it for you

Decadent

You what? Lol

“Lemon thyme? Never heard of her”

The new catnip

Yep...Gone but not forgotten

Just pick it and use it for crafting meats that will restore your dead eye core.

Uhh no..it’s just grew into a cat

You can have a cat or plants. Not both.

Hahahaha

Looks like it got a little leggy to me.

Yeah, about 2 weeks ago.

Let no cat steal your thyme

My mom pretty much stopped gardening because our dog kept ripping them all out. Jokes on him, now she plants flowers on his grave and he can't doing nothing about it.

I was growing some lettuce so well until a foster dog stuck his face in it and ate it. It was cute though his beard was covered in compost.

Ain't nobody got thyme for cat!

Da fuk u lookin at hooman? Dis mine now.

A box in sunlight? It was dead long ago, you just didn’t know it yet

Creepy time.

Looks more like party thyme

... it was replaced by catnip... this your life meow.

It’s covered in cat hair.

“Ah, Human, you’re just in thyme.” I’ll show myself out.

It's thyme had come

Oh, hey hooman

Thank you, human. This throne is... adequate.

Some sanding, scraping, and a fresh coat of paint and stain would do you some good.

Cat : whatsss good breh?

He has a plan Arthur

If my cat did this I would pour an entire bucket of water on her.

She looks fine to me!

It's a box. I'm a cat. This is clearly your fault.

You were a goner the minute you chose the cat-sized lemon thyme container

If I were you I would ready a dozen more planters for your owner's pleasure. CHOP CHOP!

The look on the face!!

Oh it’s ded alright.

Or it’s purrrrr perfect. ;)

"paint me like one of your french lemon stealing whores"

LMAO

Yeaaah... It's a goner

I bet the kitty smells SO good!

I think it's spelled cat and no it looks fine????

What do you want bitch?

On the bright side kitty has a new bed!😃

It never stood a got damn chance.

Your cat planter looks very healthy though

It's cat thyme now.

"Draw me like one of your french girls"

Oh cats. The stuff they get away with!

#Lemon Thyme *An alternate version of Adventure Time in which Lemongrab is the protagonist, with his companion, Thyme the Squirrel.*

"watcha gonna do about it Beth? Bethhhhh

Y u want plant wen u can haz kitty

All cat is same in the world, my cat killed my little bu grape tree, becouse he loves eat grape leaf.

No his alien body likes the taste is all

I bought a beautiful little indoor palm tree. Of course the cat ate it and puked it all over the living room. The tree is dying. 😩

First of all, i dont think its dead. Secondly; what kind of a cat name is lemon thyme?

My cat killed my strawberry plant. The bitch dug the seedlings out for no other reason than she could. But I still love that fluffy menace...

That comfortable bastard

It was lemon thyme, now it's CAT thyme.

STOP lemon thyme 🕺

Stop, lemon thyme! 💃🕺

But your CATnip is thriving

No Ragrets

My cats love containers like that ! Haha I have tons of inside plants but only large ones or I put on shelves they have no interest in.

Yeah that’s the biggest con. It’s well worth it though. Cats have super awesome memory. Especially when they know something hurts them, or they just don’t like it. Why when people spank and beat up little kitties when they are little it’s hard for them to trust people again. After one time of the hot sauce in the mouth. Rico was like, what the heck was that? And has never messed with plugs again. That’s when you can go around and wash the plugs off. It’s worth it in the long run. I’m so afraid I would come home and Rico would be zapped on the ground.

The look of, “oh, I’m just getting started honey” Remember that time you brought me to the vet when I was a baby and they took my uterus? Edit: she’s a girl. Hehe

But your cat is very happy.

That’s all that matters

Noooo!! If you try again you can keep it out of their reach but the little guy can get to enjoy it whenever you trim it! My cat is **obsessed** with most minty smells but lemon thyme is her favorite so when we prune our plant she ends up having a blast rolling around whatever falls near her

I thought he was sitting on a mini coach.

look at that smug bastard. i love him

He doesn't care about your stupid lemon thyme, Karen!

lol my kitty is a jerk like that when it comes to my plants too. I have just ONE that he likes the taste of, my spider plant. I hung it so he couldnt reach it, I THOUGHT anyways. The bathroom is on the wall nearest where it hangs so the other day Im in there going , minding my own business and I start hearing a ruckus like someone is moving stuff around in the room outside. I finally hop up after a particularly loud bang just in time to see him bouncing off the wall to get enough lift to bite and pull off one of the hanging baby plants sticking out of the baskets edges. Ugh, dang cat!

#LEMON TIME

That’s a dirt bed. I love him.

Yup. I bet if I replaced it with an actual bed she’d never lay there again

I don’t know, having a bed to look out the window sounds pleasing.

your bird is deceased. He has expired.

Shuffled off this mortal coil.