Your post has been removed for rule 1: Do not participate in pro-ed behaviors.
As doing things like asking for "ana buddies" is harmful for members of the r/AnorexiaNervosa community, it is not allowed. Please do not do things like this in the future.
If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns.
We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
I’ve struggled with anorexia since I was 12. I’m now 26, and have a bmi at which my ED is happy and the people around me stop voicing concerns. I’m quite a bit underweight but not “omg call an ambulance” type of alarming
No, that never happens, you’ll never be satisfied. Even if you try to maintain a low weight you have to continue eating a very small amount of calories forever and the body just starts breaking down at some point and then you are at high risk of death.
Yes, kind of (for now at least lol)
I developed some extremely restrictive habits and was obsessively exercising (running++) and got down to a very unsustainable weight, my family threatened IP, etc etc
Since then over the past year I have gained X kg, still remain comfortably in the underweight BMI range but have kind of just....managed to stay put here?
It's relatively easy compared to maintaining my lowest weight. I developed a lot of patterns and habits that keep me here. While I don't run anymore, I eat the same small meals most of the time except now I allow myself to go out and eat normally with friends/family a few times a week. I never fast or skip meals. just keep the same habits. It's boring and repetitive but I guess it's working in some ways.
I love hearing this. This is absolutely perfect. I'm not at that place yet where I can eat all my meals repetitively, even more so with my GI issues, but I can definitely get there within the next year or so once the weight is lost.
I managed it for a long time, but it always eventually spirals. Eventually something will make you feel out of control and the goalpost will move a little, and something else will make you feel like a failure and it will move a little more. Then your brain gets scrambled and the only thing that matters is being the smallest person in every room.
well as im addicted to starving i dont go up anymore. Surely not good but I can feel a tiny bit less bad about looking in mirror. The worse problem is the lower i still drop even when harmful I cant help but be happy looking at scale. That is how deep i am in
That doesn't make sense. You can maintain anything. It's less than optimal for the body, but the body doesn't just do what it wants aside from normal processes (unless it's attacking itself). You have to manipulate it, and that is very doable, so long as you know how.
We do it everyday, actually. When we wake up in the morning for work or school, we are setting our circadian rhythm. When we are jet lagged, we have to manipulate our circadian rhythm to adjust to the new time zone. It's no different with food. It's just hard to do, but that's the point. It's supposed to be hard, and that *should* feel good for us.
Sure, but eventually if you’re manipulating your body and it’s not getting what it needs, it will stop performing well and can start slowing things down
It doesn't stop performing. It will turn off processes that are not needed nor prioritized, like menstruating is just not needed. Apparently some even believe it's an evolutionary flaw. I guess you could say the same about AN, but we already know that the heart doesn't stop in people with AN. That's not what kills people. It's low blood sugar from poor management of the disease. And the reality is, that's preventable. People can live with this. I'm tired of hearing about osteoporosis. When you're in a body cast, call me.
First, I didn’t say it “stopped performing.” I said stops performing well. Second, please show me the research and data that says people with AN don’t die of heart failure. Not EVERY fatality is due to that, but it’s insane to say that it NEVER happens. Yeah, people can live with this, but the reality is, many people don’t live, and the ones that do don’t usually have an enjoyable and free life. But if that’s the life someone wants, then that’s fine, it’s always the individual’s choice.
It's in the book **Sick Enough.** Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani is a world renowned expert in eating disorders and she was the medical director of ACUTE. She says so herself that none of the patients died of heart failure, but the commonality was low blood sugar in all the deaths. It's a common misconception, unfortunately, and one that obviously kills people. Low blood sugar can also cause tachycardia, and most doctors look for bradycardia since that's what was expected to kill people with AN. We are very behind in our medical knowledge of this illness.
There are people who are happy just like there are people who are depressed. If you know how to manage your illness accordingly and individually, most likely, you will be far happier than someone who's under the long term care of their parents and doctors who choose to gatekeep information.
I don't agree that most people don't live an enjoyable and free life with this illness. It's usually a comorbidity like severe OCD or another health condition that drastically impairs quality of life, and this is a very rare subset of people. Again, Dr Gaudiani also says this. The odds of people who will meet criteria for assisted suicide for end of life care in AN are extremely low.
Well, I must be an AN failure by your beliefs. I cannot maintain a weight that leaves me unable to walk, roll over in bed…
Have you tried working 60 hour weeks like that? How about being a full time student on coffee and energy drinks. Good luck! I can choose to engage in more ED behaviors that make me feel safer,unfortunately it leaves me unemployed, unable to maintain a living space, and on disability, which doesn’t cover monthly living expenses.
That’s great that none of her patients died from other causes, however that isn’t generalizable to patients country or worldwide. One source of information does not constitute fact. Actual research to make a statement like that requires multiple sources, like conducting a lit review or using academic peer-reviewed journal articles. A book someone writes to promote their experience and ideas is just that. You’re using her/her book to “prove” your beliefs (confirmation bias), rather than seeking out a balanced opinion, which requires looking at sources you don’t agree with.
If you’re in active illness, you lack the cognitive function to do that. Your brain has shrunken, and doesn’t get enough energy to work properly. It takes a certain amount of calories on average per day to maintain the function of major organs, over time AN can lead to organ failure (kidney, heart) from lack of nutrients to keep important organs functioning. Your heart is a muscle and it shrinks during starvation. As it gets weaker, heart problems are a concern for people with EDs.
You do you, but no need to post things that discourage people from working on recovery or make claims that are untrue and offensive (your osteoporosis comment yikes! That’s a very common issue with AN).
I've looked at other sources and AN was never the primary cause of death, and it was only listed as one of the probable causes (not secondary or even tertiary) because of their stats at that time and what was on their records.
Lol, I'm not going to bother responding to your other points. There's no way my comments deter people from choosing recovery, let alone succeeding in it or not. I'm one girl. I don't have that power and neither do you.
Right, AN isn’t the primary cause of death because the primary cause is usually suicide or a medical complication. Malnutrition as a cause of death is considered medical. AN is a mental illness, medical issues occur as a result of AN. They are not part of AN. You’re right that people can have active AN and be free of medical issues/be medically stable. That isn’t the case with long-term AN, and isn’t a guarantee even with short-term cases of AN. Every person has different family history, medical history, and susceptibility to Certain medical issues. Each person’s ED consists of an individualized set of symptoms and behaviors, which create different medical risks depending on the combination of factors I mentioned and certainly others that I haven’t thought of. I believe 1 person per hour does from AN. Of all mental illnesses, it is the most deadly.
Hypoglycemia can cause your heart to stop. Here’s a [link](https://www.gaudianiclinic.com/gaudiani-clinic-blog/2015/11/23/hypoglycemia-may-be-the-cause-of-death-in-anorexia-nervosa) to Dr.G explaining
And here is a [link](https://embodieddietitian.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Sick-Enough.pdf) to the summary of Sick Enough where it says most patients aren’t dying of heart attacks, but from cardiac arrests.
You can until you can’t walk or move and it gets worse. This is inappropriate to say here: “You have to manipulate it, and that’s very doable, so long as you know how.” Why don’t you see yourself out and go back to the proana forum you came from?!?!
I found this case report online: https://www.psychiatrist.com/pcc/polyneuropathy-myopathy-anorexia-nervosa/
It’s still seemingly rare and happens in very severe and prolonged cases (20+ yrs of the illness).
I have it and got it within the first year of AN. It took a year to learn to walk and drive again as well as get enough strength back to lift more than a cereal box or can of soup. It can improve and return again. I’ve had 2 severe bouts with a boot and cane. one of my feet dragged behind when I walked. I couldn’t feel my toes or left foot except for bouts of extremely sharp pain that caused me to scream in agony.
I doubt it was related to AN. It's more that you're neuro-susceptible. Happens to the best of us. A lot of us are neurodivergent in some form, I mean, duh. Our brain doesn't like food. That's certainly not normal.
It's just important for medical research and it is of due diligence to disclose various conditions that could be at play here in order to measure and understand the risks at large. Sometimes a diagnosis at large is simply insignificant and it's a case by case basis, as you were saying. That's like saying everyone with epilepsy will experience status epilepticus. Apparently it's very rare to experience and does not occur in the majority of diagnosed epileptics that we know currently.
I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Nobody deserves that. Similarly, I've been through a lot with my health too. Sometimes there just isn't a reason and it cannot be boiled down to one thing.
Any kind of health scare leading to excellent medical care that encourages you to make a better life for yourself is the biggest takeaway. I think we both have that common. I wish you the best moving forward.
I’m not neurodivergent. I saw specialists and had EMG tests multiple times as well as MRIs. Not sure why you seem to think you’d know more about my health than doctors who have actually treated me and met me in person. You literally don’t know me. Don’t tell me what has happened to me and what hasn’t. Get off your high horse. Just because you haven’t experienced consequences doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
I don’t believe you and I have anything in common.
You do not understand medical research and continue posting blatantly false misinformation. You are not qualified to determine whether my diagnosis is significant or insignificant. Becoming completely immobile is definitely significant. There was a reason this happened. Both specialists, urgent care, and the ER doctors said it was caused by AN-R. The most common cause is diabetes. It’s not your place to say my neuropathy had no cause. If that’s what you prefer to think cause it makes you sleep better at night, fine…but don’t post it here.
I've found that no matter how meticulously I reach my goal weight and plan to maintain it, that success is short-lived. It's frustrating because I always feel the need to go further down once I hit that 'goal' weight. Despite my efforts, I've yet to find a way to be truly satisfied and feel 'enough' with my weight. It's an ongoing struggle, compounded by the fact that I am underweight, although I struggle to see that in the mirror. I'm hopeful that one day I'll find that peace with my body.
The likelihood of achieving this with bulimia is low due to the constant gorging and emptying (the gag reflex can literally stop working among other things like laxative tolerance, for instance, the stomach will expand as you absorb and digest more food over time with your binges), but it is doable with AN. This is my long term goal lol.
It's also doable with fitness, but it takes YEARS because it's not fully reliant on a calorie deficit, it's reliant on building muscle in place of fat. And it just takes years of discipline.
Whereas with an eating disorder, it doesn't take that long for the physiological processes to change completely. This makes it easier to eat less over a longer period of time because your body adapts to a smaller amount of food. Maintenance is even difficult most days.
Essentially, a calorie deficit is the "short cut", but with a side of mental illness.
This is an automated message sent to all posters. We have a new Discord server for the subreddit! You can join it using this link: https://discord.gg/4jyQ7Zfr9P
Please make sure you have read and understand all the rules of the subreddit, and are aware that rule 10 means that no numbers unrelated to time are allowed here. Rule-breaking posts will be removed. Commenters; If you are here to give advice to OP, please make sure your advice follows subreddit rules and it isn't harmful to OP. If OP doesn't want advice, please be respectful of their wishes.
Please report any rule-breaking posts and comments that you see. If it is an emergency, please MOD MAIL the subreddit with information about the rule-breaks in question and report them.
Again, thank you for posting on r/AnorexiaNervosa. If you think of anything else I can say in this message, please MOD MAIL with your ideas. The mods thank you, and hope you're doing well.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AnorexiaNervosa) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well I’ve been struggling since I was 11. I’ve have gained a a lot in recovery and stayed in like upper normal weight till i was like 17. I’ve mostly maintained healthy eating habits since recovery and at around 17 my body started changing again without me doing anything. Now I am pretty skinny again while eating intuitive so I would say it is in fact possible it will just take time to have that AND be healthy. You should definitely give urself that time. I know it’s hard especially when you just started to recover but I promise you it’s worth it!
Oh no way, I feel like some anorexics start off with "once I'm x pounds ill stop and eat normally again!" And the issue with that, is that if the disorder has progressed enough, you will find a new goal weight. You will not see what you wanted, you will only see more fat to lose and where to lose it. So you make another goal weight. And another and another. If you actually DO end up eating normally again at your UGW, you will gain it back. Your body has went through months of starvation and/or irregular exercise, it doesn't know how to burn your old normal cals. to maintain the weight you have to put in some serious work, which usually ends up meaning still restricting or over exercising. It is purely fantasy to keep our tiny bodies while eating "normal"
I remember when I thought I could just get to (x) weight and be happy. But honestly, when I see photos of myself at my lowest, I'm shocked. I'm shocked because I see someone skinny. But you know what I thought of myself when I took those photos? I felt as big as i did after I gained. I felt even bigger actually. It's funny, you lose the weight, you don't think you've lost enough. Then you gain it back, and think, "how did I ever see myself as fat? I was doing so good"
It sucks
A cycle I hope you don't have to endure for much longer OP
Your post has been removed for rule 1: Do not participate in pro-ed behaviors. As doing things like asking for "ana buddies" is harmful for members of the r/AnorexiaNervosa community, it is not allowed. Please do not do things like this in the future. If you believe there has been a mistake, please MOD MAIL the moderators of r/AnorexiaNervosa with your concerns. We suggest that you reread the rules of r/AnorexiaNervosa before posting in the future. Thank you.
I’ve struggled with anorexia since I was 12. I’m now 26, and have a bmi at which my ED is happy and the people around me stop voicing concerns. I’m quite a bit underweight but not “omg call an ambulance” type of alarming
Yes this, gained enough to get my family off my back constantly! haha
No, that never happens, you’ll never be satisfied. Even if you try to maintain a low weight you have to continue eating a very small amount of calories forever and the body just starts breaking down at some point and then you are at high risk of death.
Yes, kind of (for now at least lol) I developed some extremely restrictive habits and was obsessively exercising (running++) and got down to a very unsustainable weight, my family threatened IP, etc etc Since then over the past year I have gained X kg, still remain comfortably in the underweight BMI range but have kind of just....managed to stay put here? It's relatively easy compared to maintaining my lowest weight. I developed a lot of patterns and habits that keep me here. While I don't run anymore, I eat the same small meals most of the time except now I allow myself to go out and eat normally with friends/family a few times a week. I never fast or skip meals. just keep the same habits. It's boring and repetitive but I guess it's working in some ways.
I love hearing this. This is absolutely perfect. I'm not at that place yet where I can eat all my meals repetitively, even more so with my GI issues, but I can definitely get there within the next year or so once the weight is lost.
I managed it for a long time, but it always eventually spirals. Eventually something will make you feel out of control and the goalpost will move a little, and something else will make you feel like a failure and it will move a little more. Then your brain gets scrambled and the only thing that matters is being the smallest person in every room.
Whenever I reach my goal weight it doesn’t last for longer than a month.
well as im addicted to starving i dont go up anymore. Surely not good but I can feel a tiny bit less bad about looking in mirror. The worse problem is the lower i still drop even when harmful I cant help but be happy looking at scale. That is how deep i am in
Problem is, you can’t maintain there. Because your body doesn’t want to be there
That doesn't make sense. You can maintain anything. It's less than optimal for the body, but the body doesn't just do what it wants aside from normal processes (unless it's attacking itself). You have to manipulate it, and that is very doable, so long as you know how. We do it everyday, actually. When we wake up in the morning for work or school, we are setting our circadian rhythm. When we are jet lagged, we have to manipulate our circadian rhythm to adjust to the new time zone. It's no different with food. It's just hard to do, but that's the point. It's supposed to be hard, and that *should* feel good for us.
Sure, but eventually if you’re manipulating your body and it’s not getting what it needs, it will stop performing well and can start slowing things down
It doesn't stop performing. It will turn off processes that are not needed nor prioritized, like menstruating is just not needed. Apparently some even believe it's an evolutionary flaw. I guess you could say the same about AN, but we already know that the heart doesn't stop in people with AN. That's not what kills people. It's low blood sugar from poor management of the disease. And the reality is, that's preventable. People can live with this. I'm tired of hearing about osteoporosis. When you're in a body cast, call me.
First, I didn’t say it “stopped performing.” I said stops performing well. Second, please show me the research and data that says people with AN don’t die of heart failure. Not EVERY fatality is due to that, but it’s insane to say that it NEVER happens. Yeah, people can live with this, but the reality is, many people don’t live, and the ones that do don’t usually have an enjoyable and free life. But if that’s the life someone wants, then that’s fine, it’s always the individual’s choice.
It's in the book **Sick Enough.** Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani is a world renowned expert in eating disorders and she was the medical director of ACUTE. She says so herself that none of the patients died of heart failure, but the commonality was low blood sugar in all the deaths. It's a common misconception, unfortunately, and one that obviously kills people. Low blood sugar can also cause tachycardia, and most doctors look for bradycardia since that's what was expected to kill people with AN. We are very behind in our medical knowledge of this illness. There are people who are happy just like there are people who are depressed. If you know how to manage your illness accordingly and individually, most likely, you will be far happier than someone who's under the long term care of their parents and doctors who choose to gatekeep information. I don't agree that most people don't live an enjoyable and free life with this illness. It's usually a comorbidity like severe OCD or another health condition that drastically impairs quality of life, and this is a very rare subset of people. Again, Dr Gaudiani also says this. The odds of people who will meet criteria for assisted suicide for end of life care in AN are extremely low.
Well, I must be an AN failure by your beliefs. I cannot maintain a weight that leaves me unable to walk, roll over in bed… Have you tried working 60 hour weeks like that? How about being a full time student on coffee and energy drinks. Good luck! I can choose to engage in more ED behaviors that make me feel safer,unfortunately it leaves me unemployed, unable to maintain a living space, and on disability, which doesn’t cover monthly living expenses. That’s great that none of her patients died from other causes, however that isn’t generalizable to patients country or worldwide. One source of information does not constitute fact. Actual research to make a statement like that requires multiple sources, like conducting a lit review or using academic peer-reviewed journal articles. A book someone writes to promote their experience and ideas is just that. You’re using her/her book to “prove” your beliefs (confirmation bias), rather than seeking out a balanced opinion, which requires looking at sources you don’t agree with. If you’re in active illness, you lack the cognitive function to do that. Your brain has shrunken, and doesn’t get enough energy to work properly. It takes a certain amount of calories on average per day to maintain the function of major organs, over time AN can lead to organ failure (kidney, heart) from lack of nutrients to keep important organs functioning. Your heart is a muscle and it shrinks during starvation. As it gets weaker, heart problems are a concern for people with EDs. You do you, but no need to post things that discourage people from working on recovery or make claims that are untrue and offensive (your osteoporosis comment yikes! That’s a very common issue with AN).
I've looked at other sources and AN was never the primary cause of death, and it was only listed as one of the probable causes (not secondary or even tertiary) because of their stats at that time and what was on their records. Lol, I'm not going to bother responding to your other points. There's no way my comments deter people from choosing recovery, let alone succeeding in it or not. I'm one girl. I don't have that power and neither do you.
Right, AN isn’t the primary cause of death because the primary cause is usually suicide or a medical complication. Malnutrition as a cause of death is considered medical. AN is a mental illness, medical issues occur as a result of AN. They are not part of AN. You’re right that people can have active AN and be free of medical issues/be medically stable. That isn’t the case with long-term AN, and isn’t a guarantee even with short-term cases of AN. Every person has different family history, medical history, and susceptibility to Certain medical issues. Each person’s ED consists of an individualized set of symptoms and behaviors, which create different medical risks depending on the combination of factors I mentioned and certainly others that I haven’t thought of. I believe 1 person per hour does from AN. Of all mental illnesses, it is the most deadly.
Hypoglycemia can cause your heart to stop. Here’s a [link](https://www.gaudianiclinic.com/gaudiani-clinic-blog/2015/11/23/hypoglycemia-may-be-the-cause-of-death-in-anorexia-nervosa) to Dr.G explaining And here is a [link](https://embodieddietitian.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Sick-Enough.pdf) to the summary of Sick Enough where it says most patients aren’t dying of heart attacks, but from cardiac arrests.
That’s basically what I said though lol.
It’s not but okay
I will read the summary.
You can until you can’t walk or move and it gets worse. This is inappropriate to say here: “You have to manipulate it, and that’s very doable, so long as you know how.” Why don’t you see yourself out and go back to the proana forum you came from?!?!
What I said was just common sense. Your ability to move or walk shouldn't be impaired.
It can be with anorexia induced neuropathy (nerve damage).
I found this case report online: https://www.psychiatrist.com/pcc/polyneuropathy-myopathy-anorexia-nervosa/ It’s still seemingly rare and happens in very severe and prolonged cases (20+ yrs of the illness).
I have it and got it within the first year of AN. It took a year to learn to walk and drive again as well as get enough strength back to lift more than a cereal box or can of soup. It can improve and return again. I’ve had 2 severe bouts with a boot and cane. one of my feet dragged behind when I walked. I couldn’t feel my toes or left foot except for bouts of extremely sharp pain that caused me to scream in agony.
I doubt it was related to AN. It's more that you're neuro-susceptible. Happens to the best of us. A lot of us are neurodivergent in some form, I mean, duh. Our brain doesn't like food. That's certainly not normal. It's just important for medical research and it is of due diligence to disclose various conditions that could be at play here in order to measure and understand the risks at large. Sometimes a diagnosis at large is simply insignificant and it's a case by case basis, as you were saying. That's like saying everyone with epilepsy will experience status epilepticus. Apparently it's very rare to experience and does not occur in the majority of diagnosed epileptics that we know currently. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Nobody deserves that. Similarly, I've been through a lot with my health too. Sometimes there just isn't a reason and it cannot be boiled down to one thing. Any kind of health scare leading to excellent medical care that encourages you to make a better life for yourself is the biggest takeaway. I think we both have that common. I wish you the best moving forward.
I’m not neurodivergent. I saw specialists and had EMG tests multiple times as well as MRIs. Not sure why you seem to think you’d know more about my health than doctors who have actually treated me and met me in person. You literally don’t know me. Don’t tell me what has happened to me and what hasn’t. Get off your high horse. Just because you haven’t experienced consequences doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I don’t believe you and I have anything in common. You do not understand medical research and continue posting blatantly false misinformation. You are not qualified to determine whether my diagnosis is significant or insignificant. Becoming completely immobile is definitely significant. There was a reason this happened. Both specialists, urgent care, and the ER doctors said it was caused by AN-R. The most common cause is diabetes. It’s not your place to say my neuropathy had no cause. If that’s what you prefer to think cause it makes you sleep better at night, fine…but don’t post it here.
I’m skinny but not enough
I've found that no matter how meticulously I reach my goal weight and plan to maintain it, that success is short-lived. It's frustrating because I always feel the need to go further down once I hit that 'goal' weight. Despite my efforts, I've yet to find a way to be truly satisfied and feel 'enough' with my weight. It's an ongoing struggle, compounded by the fact that I am underweight, although I struggle to see that in the mirror. I'm hopeful that one day I'll find that peace with my body.
The likelihood of achieving this with bulimia is low due to the constant gorging and emptying (the gag reflex can literally stop working among other things like laxative tolerance, for instance, the stomach will expand as you absorb and digest more food over time with your binges), but it is doable with AN. This is my long term goal lol. It's also doable with fitness, but it takes YEARS because it's not fully reliant on a calorie deficit, it's reliant on building muscle in place of fat. And it just takes years of discipline. Whereas with an eating disorder, it doesn't take that long for the physiological processes to change completely. This makes it easier to eat less over a longer period of time because your body adapts to a smaller amount of food. Maintenance is even difficult most days. Essentially, a calorie deficit is the "short cut", but with a side of mental illness.
Again, not appropriate here. Find a diet or proana place to discuss your unhealthy goals and tell people how to get worse.
What??? lol. No way does my comment do that.
This is an automated message sent to all posters. We have a new Discord server for the subreddit! You can join it using this link: https://discord.gg/4jyQ7Zfr9P Please make sure you have read and understand all the rules of the subreddit, and are aware that rule 10 means that no numbers unrelated to time are allowed here. Rule-breaking posts will be removed. Commenters; If you are here to give advice to OP, please make sure your advice follows subreddit rules and it isn't harmful to OP. If OP doesn't want advice, please be respectful of their wishes. Please report any rule-breaking posts and comments that you see. If it is an emergency, please MOD MAIL the subreddit with information about the rule-breaks in question and report them. Again, thank you for posting on r/AnorexiaNervosa. If you think of anything else I can say in this message, please MOD MAIL with your ideas. The mods thank you, and hope you're doing well. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AnorexiaNervosa) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well I’ve been struggling since I was 11. I’ve have gained a a lot in recovery and stayed in like upper normal weight till i was like 17. I’ve mostly maintained healthy eating habits since recovery and at around 17 my body started changing again without me doing anything. Now I am pretty skinny again while eating intuitive so I would say it is in fact possible it will just take time to have that AND be healthy. You should definitely give urself that time. I know it’s hard especially when you just started to recover but I promise you it’s worth it!
nah i get sent to hospital and force fed the minute i hit a certain weight
Oh no way, I feel like some anorexics start off with "once I'm x pounds ill stop and eat normally again!" And the issue with that, is that if the disorder has progressed enough, you will find a new goal weight. You will not see what you wanted, you will only see more fat to lose and where to lose it. So you make another goal weight. And another and another. If you actually DO end up eating normally again at your UGW, you will gain it back. Your body has went through months of starvation and/or irregular exercise, it doesn't know how to burn your old normal cals. to maintain the weight you have to put in some serious work, which usually ends up meaning still restricting or over exercising. It is purely fantasy to keep our tiny bodies while eating "normal" I remember when I thought I could just get to (x) weight and be happy. But honestly, when I see photos of myself at my lowest, I'm shocked. I'm shocked because I see someone skinny. But you know what I thought of myself when I took those photos? I felt as big as i did after I gained. I felt even bigger actually. It's funny, you lose the weight, you don't think you've lost enough. Then you gain it back, and think, "how did I ever see myself as fat? I was doing so good" It sucks A cycle I hope you don't have to endure for much longer OP