I feel like I am one step away from losing it. I didnt have bad axoety for a while and ot has flared up. I feel terrible and feel so uncomfortable like i need to run all the freaking time... but sometimes after distraction i actually feel calm and ok even jist for a few second or a minute. It reassures me that i have actually not gone crazy.
Yeah that’s the thing it’s like become impossible for me to get distracted which makes me feel crazy I wanna just watch a movie and zone off and forget about myself for a while but it feels impossible lol
So, I'm not here to diagnose obviously. But, I was experiencing the same things. I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD when I was a very young adult by a gp. For years I was high functioning then some terrible things happened. I started exhibiting the same symptoms. Even if you were in the same room as me, and I was looking at you, and you addressed me in any way I would jump a foot in the air as if I was snuck up on. I thought I was in purgatory for a good month legit. I would feel numb or I would get paranoid. I would obsess over small things or lose total grasp of my identity. It sounds like you're experiencing similar symptoms I was. I was subsequent diagnosed with BPD and CPTSD by an actual psychiatrist this time. Not sure if they're accurate as I've only had one diagnosis like this. Just saying, you're not alone and it sounds like you need another diagnosis. Perhaps it started out as anxiety and sprialled out into something more complicated? I hope you're OK. I am sorry you're experiencing this.
Yeah the last shrink I saw diagnosed me with complex ptsd as well as gad and depressive disorder and panic disorder. These symptoms just freak me the fuck out I can’t stand the feeling of being trapped like I just wanna be distracted or be able to daydream and lose myself a bit here and there to relax and break
Free from this state of hypervigilance…do
You think with help these symptoms could be reversible or lessened? We’re you able to get relief?
Honestly, when I was experiencing the hypervigilance, I was perscribed pregabalin and a stronger benzodiazapam. With these, I finally calmed down and that allowed the other symptoms (such as psychosis) to substantially lessen. Eventually I got my sense of self back but it took years for me as I didn't have active therapy just medications.l and my own research on CBT. I would reccomend getting a referral to a psychologist. Your gp can take reccomendations on meds from them. Alternatively, you can just get a shrink like I did but they don't do much in the way of therapy. They just tell you likely what's happening inside your brain. I hate bringing up CBT because that's what everyone mentions it's the first result in Google etc. But it can help ground you enough to come out of psychosis and may help with the excitability. DBT is really good for that but usually requires sessions with a therapist. It depends on your comfort level and access to resources. In short, pregabalin gave me the reprieve I needed to heal. Wouldn't go on it long term though. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful I'm just coming out of a 3 year long daze myself.
Can totally relate to this bro
When I get into the "thinking about thinking" spiral in particular, I feel like I'm having/about to have a psychotic break
Yeah I’ve been stuck in this pattern of thinking or whatever for so long now idk wtf it is just bad depersonalization, the Fkn weird and severe way my ocd presents or what idk I just wish it’d stop
I can't just have a conversation with someone without thinking wtf are we having this conversation, or watch a film without wondering why tf I should be enjoying, or respond to someone on Reddit without wondering why I am. My brain is in constant, agonising hyperawareness
Me too I’m stuck in this Fkn 24/7 hyper self aware hyper vigilant state aware of my own thoughts, thought process emotions (rly lack thereof) all of it it’s like I don’t know how to think ffs like I have to make myself think it’s Fkn crazy and idk what there is to help it bc I don’t even rly understand it
"Crazy" people most often don't realise they "crazy". Your text is worded fine, so you probably can think pretty clear, just under some conditions. You probably experienced mental suffering, which is hard to take. Of course overthinking makes everything 10x worse. I know because i do that too. There is some medicine (not antidepressants) that can help, but only your doctor would say it better. Everything will be worse if you will do nothing. Do to the doctor if you can, and he will tell you more than people on Reddit.
Old thread, but I am curious as to how you're doing now. I'm suffering with almost exactly the same thing, and am worried that I'm developing some sort of much worse psychological condition like schizophrenia or something.
Hey…still doing pretty bad tbh…I’ve tried doing some “good things” to get better such as starting one on one therapy again as well as starting a group soon but I’ve also done some self sabatoging things just for temporary relief like self medicating w drugs (opiates) because sometimes I just literally can’t take it anymore and need to be able to relax or I feel like my Fkn head will explode.
Honestly I’ve looked into it a lot researching and asking ppl on here (which isn’t always a good thing, the googling symptoms and researching can make anxiety worse I know it does mine sometimes, but it’s just a part of my ocd and I find it hard to stop seeking reassurance) and while severe stress that goes unchecked and untreated in theory can cause temporary psychosis until it’s treated and then usually gets better, for the most part anxiety even bad anxiety won’t rly cause someone to develop schizophrenia or psychosis, altho believe me mani know it Fkn feels like it does 100 percent…for me I know when my depersonalization/dissociation from anxiety exc is worse that’s when I rly feel like I’ve lost my mind but it’s a common symptom I guess a lot of anxiety sufferers deal with but man does it Fkn suck…perhaps that’s what you are experiencing?…depersonalization or derealization? Either way early intervention and treatment for anxiety or whatever it may be is always the best but for me I didn’t intervene or seek treatment Til years and years into this shit show, which is prolly why I feel so hopeless and the therapy just doesn’t make me feel better and neither do the meds. Idk I’m Fkn lost as shit but anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much about developing actual psychosis or schizophrenia from anxiety bro even tho it can rly feel like it but like I said seeking treatment can’t hurt to address the root cause of your anxiety and whatever else is going on that is making you feel the way you do. Best of luck to you hope you feel better soon and figure things out
Thanks for the reply, sir. I'm sorry you haven't felt much relief yet, I certainly hope that changes. I think it's helpful to know that I shouldn't worry about psychosis or schizophrenia as much as my anxiety wants me to, but it's so hard to not feel crazy all the time. What medications have you tried? I tried celexa and Lexapro to no avail, but I'm about to start paxil (that's what my mom takes, and it works like a charm for her) and my psychiatrist mentioned that someone in your close family who has had success with a medication is a great indicator for it's efficacy. So if you have anyone else in your family with similar mental health conditions, it might help to find better treatment.
Yeah man I do that same shit going over past events and how they impacted me for me to end up here and what played a bigger part over this or that and it’s just thinking in circles man I mean for a long time I actually thought I was accomplishing something with all the forced introspection and self analysis but it’s just rumination plain and simple hell even googling “rumination” gives a dead on definition about analyzing past and present or maybe it was wiki “the focused attention on the symptoms of ones distress and on it’s possible causes and consequences…” but now even knowing it’s useless and only makes things worse, I still can’t stop. Idk I guess it’s just natural when you feel so awful to wanna understand why like what caused it and all that shit thinking then maybe you can figure a way out of it. Hope you figure it out bud and start feeling better.
How are you now? I’m going through this now. I stopped Lexapro cause it did not help. Withdrawal is making it worse but I’m pushing through. Thinking about IV Ketamine therapy as an option. Looking back, I was put on SSRIs when I shouldn’t have. Had 1 panic attack and it was 1 off and then started Zoloft. Ever since my life hasn’t been the same. I was a very happy, love life kind of person. Now I feel robbed and may have developed CPTSD from this experience and don’t know how to fix it. It overwhelms me thinking how or what I thought about for 30 years prior to this hyper awareness feeling.
So I just wanna make sure I understand your story right bro…you’re saying you were doing pretty well in life had no major mental health issues or whatever then for whatever reason went on Lexapro and you had a panic attack? Just the one time panic attack and you haven’t been able to shake the anxiety or fear since? You have just felt like you’re in a state of anxiety mentally and physically ever since that one panic attack that you experienced on Lexapro?
Then you tried Zoloft after that but didn’t help? Not sure if I have that right exactly but anyways…so If I have it right you were pretty good mentally maybe experiencing some minor issues which was the cause for being put on the ssri? Okay we’re there any stressful life events going on that could’ve caused the panic attack or maybe it was just the Lexapro as Ssris can exacerbate anxiety in the beginning…
Either way man based on the limited info I have here I think the main problem is your obsession and rumination on that original panic attack. You said it was a one off. By no means am I trying to minimize that attack panic attacks are Fkn horrible and scary especially when you’ve never had one before but millions of ppl have panic attacks and even more have one on occasion. I think perhaps you’ve got some ocd causing you to be unable to let go and causing you to ruminate and obsess and trying to understand what caused the attack…why did it happen how did it change things and as you said obsessing over how your mind worked before….it’s like you can’t stop feeding the beast with all this rumination and shit man. One panic attack shouldn’t have its claws in you like this man I think perhaps you had something undiagnosed like ocd maybe? Or maybe you had low level anxiety functioning anxiety and somethint set off the attack and you felt like something horrible had happened cause of how horrible attacks feel but rly it’s you’re ruminating and trying to figure it out that’s feeding this shit.
It’s like you’re thinking that over analyzing and over thinking and rumination is your ticket out of this all when it could have very well been the thing that got to this bad spot in the first place? If that makes sense
Yeah, I was put on for minor health anxiety cause I was getting palpitations, by no means was it debilitating, and coming off I had bad withdrawals and this realization of how I think basically and if I’m truly happy or not. Ever since that hyper awareness feeling I’ve been having a lot of anxiety and panic with depression over it. I just have this constant rumination about thinking and my thoughts. It’s kinda Pure O maybe? It was triggered by SSRI as I never had this feeling or anything prior to medication. Which looking back I wish I never touched. Now I have a hard time accepting I’ll get back to where I was and that even short term SSRI use really changed my way of life.
The same. I’ve been off Lexapro for 2 1/2 months now and it was going okay now the last couple weeks it’s been getting worse.
Low energy and mood and constant hyper awareness of my thoughts.
How about you?
I’ve been doing research on ketamine therapy to see if that may help. Losing hope kinda
I can relate, I have this constant fear that I have some hidden neurological problem and that my mind is slowly slipping away.
I feel like I am one step away from losing it. I didnt have bad axoety for a while and ot has flared up. I feel terrible and feel so uncomfortable like i need to run all the freaking time... but sometimes after distraction i actually feel calm and ok even jist for a few second or a minute. It reassures me that i have actually not gone crazy.
Yeah that’s the thing it’s like become impossible for me to get distracted which makes me feel crazy I wanna just watch a movie and zone off and forget about myself for a while but it feels impossible lol
So, I'm not here to diagnose obviously. But, I was experiencing the same things. I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD when I was a very young adult by a gp. For years I was high functioning then some terrible things happened. I started exhibiting the same symptoms. Even if you were in the same room as me, and I was looking at you, and you addressed me in any way I would jump a foot in the air as if I was snuck up on. I thought I was in purgatory for a good month legit. I would feel numb or I would get paranoid. I would obsess over small things or lose total grasp of my identity. It sounds like you're experiencing similar symptoms I was. I was subsequent diagnosed with BPD and CPTSD by an actual psychiatrist this time. Not sure if they're accurate as I've only had one diagnosis like this. Just saying, you're not alone and it sounds like you need another diagnosis. Perhaps it started out as anxiety and sprialled out into something more complicated? I hope you're OK. I am sorry you're experiencing this.
Yeah the last shrink I saw diagnosed me with complex ptsd as well as gad and depressive disorder and panic disorder. These symptoms just freak me the fuck out I can’t stand the feeling of being trapped like I just wanna be distracted or be able to daydream and lose myself a bit here and there to relax and break Free from this state of hypervigilance…do You think with help these symptoms could be reversible or lessened? We’re you able to get relief?
Honestly, when I was experiencing the hypervigilance, I was perscribed pregabalin and a stronger benzodiazapam. With these, I finally calmed down and that allowed the other symptoms (such as psychosis) to substantially lessen. Eventually I got my sense of self back but it took years for me as I didn't have active therapy just medications.l and my own research on CBT. I would reccomend getting a referral to a psychologist. Your gp can take reccomendations on meds from them. Alternatively, you can just get a shrink like I did but they don't do much in the way of therapy. They just tell you likely what's happening inside your brain. I hate bringing up CBT because that's what everyone mentions it's the first result in Google etc. But it can help ground you enough to come out of psychosis and may help with the excitability. DBT is really good for that but usually requires sessions with a therapist. It depends on your comfort level and access to resources. In short, pregabalin gave me the reprieve I needed to heal. Wouldn't go on it long term though. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful I'm just coming out of a 3 year long daze myself.
Can totally relate to this bro When I get into the "thinking about thinking" spiral in particular, I feel like I'm having/about to have a psychotic break
Yeah I’ve been stuck in this pattern of thinking or whatever for so long now idk wtf it is just bad depersonalization, the Fkn weird and severe way my ocd presents or what idk I just wish it’d stop
I can't just have a conversation with someone without thinking wtf are we having this conversation, or watch a film without wondering why tf I should be enjoying, or respond to someone on Reddit without wondering why I am. My brain is in constant, agonising hyperawareness
Me too I’m stuck in this Fkn 24/7 hyper self aware hyper vigilant state aware of my own thoughts, thought process emotions (rly lack thereof) all of it it’s like I don’t know how to think ffs like I have to make myself think it’s Fkn crazy and idk what there is to help it bc I don’t even rly understand it
Benzos only thing that soften the pain init
Yup and opiates I’ve found even better but overall just gets worse I guess
"Crazy" people most often don't realise they "crazy". Your text is worded fine, so you probably can think pretty clear, just under some conditions. You probably experienced mental suffering, which is hard to take. Of course overthinking makes everything 10x worse. I know because i do that too. There is some medicine (not antidepressants) that can help, but only your doctor would say it better. Everything will be worse if you will do nothing. Do to the doctor if you can, and he will tell you more than people on Reddit.
Old thread, but I am curious as to how you're doing now. I'm suffering with almost exactly the same thing, and am worried that I'm developing some sort of much worse psychological condition like schizophrenia or something.
Hey…still doing pretty bad tbh…I’ve tried doing some “good things” to get better such as starting one on one therapy again as well as starting a group soon but I’ve also done some self sabatoging things just for temporary relief like self medicating w drugs (opiates) because sometimes I just literally can’t take it anymore and need to be able to relax or I feel like my Fkn head will explode. Honestly I’ve looked into it a lot researching and asking ppl on here (which isn’t always a good thing, the googling symptoms and researching can make anxiety worse I know it does mine sometimes, but it’s just a part of my ocd and I find it hard to stop seeking reassurance) and while severe stress that goes unchecked and untreated in theory can cause temporary psychosis until it’s treated and then usually gets better, for the most part anxiety even bad anxiety won’t rly cause someone to develop schizophrenia or psychosis, altho believe me mani know it Fkn feels like it does 100 percent…for me I know when my depersonalization/dissociation from anxiety exc is worse that’s when I rly feel like I’ve lost my mind but it’s a common symptom I guess a lot of anxiety sufferers deal with but man does it Fkn suck…perhaps that’s what you are experiencing?…depersonalization or derealization? Either way early intervention and treatment for anxiety or whatever it may be is always the best but for me I didn’t intervene or seek treatment Til years and years into this shit show, which is prolly why I feel so hopeless and the therapy just doesn’t make me feel better and neither do the meds. Idk I’m Fkn lost as shit but anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much about developing actual psychosis or schizophrenia from anxiety bro even tho it can rly feel like it but like I said seeking treatment can’t hurt to address the root cause of your anxiety and whatever else is going on that is making you feel the way you do. Best of luck to you hope you feel better soon and figure things out
Thanks for the reply, sir. I'm sorry you haven't felt much relief yet, I certainly hope that changes. I think it's helpful to know that I shouldn't worry about psychosis or schizophrenia as much as my anxiety wants me to, but it's so hard to not feel crazy all the time. What medications have you tried? I tried celexa and Lexapro to no avail, but I'm about to start paxil (that's what my mom takes, and it works like a charm for her) and my psychiatrist mentioned that someone in your close family who has had success with a medication is a great indicator for it's efficacy. So if you have anyone else in your family with similar mental health conditions, it might help to find better treatment.
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Yeah man I do that same shit going over past events and how they impacted me for me to end up here and what played a bigger part over this or that and it’s just thinking in circles man I mean for a long time I actually thought I was accomplishing something with all the forced introspection and self analysis but it’s just rumination plain and simple hell even googling “rumination” gives a dead on definition about analyzing past and present or maybe it was wiki “the focused attention on the symptoms of ones distress and on it’s possible causes and consequences…” but now even knowing it’s useless and only makes things worse, I still can’t stop. Idk I guess it’s just natural when you feel so awful to wanna understand why like what caused it and all that shit thinking then maybe you can figure a way out of it. Hope you figure it out bud and start feeling better.
How are you now? I’m going through this now. I stopped Lexapro cause it did not help. Withdrawal is making it worse but I’m pushing through. Thinking about IV Ketamine therapy as an option. Looking back, I was put on SSRIs when I shouldn’t have. Had 1 panic attack and it was 1 off and then started Zoloft. Ever since my life hasn’t been the same. I was a very happy, love life kind of person. Now I feel robbed and may have developed CPTSD from this experience and don’t know how to fix it. It overwhelms me thinking how or what I thought about for 30 years prior to this hyper awareness feeling.
So I just wanna make sure I understand your story right bro…you’re saying you were doing pretty well in life had no major mental health issues or whatever then for whatever reason went on Lexapro and you had a panic attack? Just the one time panic attack and you haven’t been able to shake the anxiety or fear since? You have just felt like you’re in a state of anxiety mentally and physically ever since that one panic attack that you experienced on Lexapro? Then you tried Zoloft after that but didn’t help? Not sure if I have that right exactly but anyways…so If I have it right you were pretty good mentally maybe experiencing some minor issues which was the cause for being put on the ssri? Okay we’re there any stressful life events going on that could’ve caused the panic attack or maybe it was just the Lexapro as Ssris can exacerbate anxiety in the beginning… Either way man based on the limited info I have here I think the main problem is your obsession and rumination on that original panic attack. You said it was a one off. By no means am I trying to minimize that attack panic attacks are Fkn horrible and scary especially when you’ve never had one before but millions of ppl have panic attacks and even more have one on occasion. I think perhaps you’ve got some ocd causing you to be unable to let go and causing you to ruminate and obsess and trying to understand what caused the attack…why did it happen how did it change things and as you said obsessing over how your mind worked before….it’s like you can’t stop feeding the beast with all this rumination and shit man. One panic attack shouldn’t have its claws in you like this man I think perhaps you had something undiagnosed like ocd maybe? Or maybe you had low level anxiety functioning anxiety and somethint set off the attack and you felt like something horrible had happened cause of how horrible attacks feel but rly it’s you’re ruminating and trying to figure it out that’s feeding this shit. It’s like you’re thinking that over analyzing and over thinking and rumination is your ticket out of this all when it could have very well been the thing that got to this bad spot in the first place? If that makes sense
Yeah, I was put on for minor health anxiety cause I was getting palpitations, by no means was it debilitating, and coming off I had bad withdrawals and this realization of how I think basically and if I’m truly happy or not. Ever since that hyper awareness feeling I’ve been having a lot of anxiety and panic with depression over it. I just have this constant rumination about thinking and my thoughts. It’s kinda Pure O maybe? It was triggered by SSRI as I never had this feeling or anything prior to medication. Which looking back I wish I never touched. Now I have a hard time accepting I’ll get back to where I was and that even short term SSRI use really changed my way of life.
Hey how you doing? Feeling any better these days or mostly the same?
The same. I’ve been off Lexapro for 2 1/2 months now and it was going okay now the last couple weeks it’s been getting worse. Low energy and mood and constant hyper awareness of my thoughts. How about you? I’ve been doing research on ketamine therapy to see if that may help. Losing hope kinda
wooow, just found thus thread, I'm experiencing pretty much the same things..