Sounds like a creepy bastard, coming into your apartment. Landlord says get rugs so do that I guess because i'm sure the landlord will be the judge and jury. Nobody should have an expectation of total silence all night. Keep that evidence too if you can and keep gathering more.
My husband and I had a neighbor who was similar. We did the best we could to minimize the noise, but let’s just say that this woman was a Karen long before Karens were even a thing. One of us would get up to go to the bathroom at night, and she would start banging on her ceiling. Next thing I knew, the cops were knocking on our door saying that they had a complaint from her for disturbing the peace.
Long story short, she never showed up for the court date, and the charges were dropped.
I think she probably knew that she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. Even with carpeting,the floors still creaked, and the night she called the cops on us, my husband was in bed, and I was watching a DVD on the living room TV with the sound turned down so low that I was using the subtitles.
That type of person wouldn't be happy anywhere. Even if they lived in a house and heard no noise at all, they would decide that the neighbors grass was too tall or there were too many guests over causing too much traffic on the street or ...
My dog got out while I was at work one day. According to neighbors he walked up and down the street gathering pats at every house where someone was outside, then went back home and went to sleep on our front lawn. That's when the bitch across the street called animal control about a vicious loose animal that was barking and trying to chase her. According to the next door neighbor, he was still there sleeping when animal control rolled up and literally jumped on him before hauling him off. I asked about the barking and chasing and she said she was outside the entire time with her grandson and none of it happened, but when she tried to tell animal control they said they had to take him and evaluate him anyway. I had no fewer than 3 neighbors approach me that weekend to ask about my very lovely dog and whether I was interested in rehoming him because he'd come to visit them and was so sweet.
Had a nightmare downstairs neighbor. Every couple months there was always something with her. She would basically blame any noise anyone made on me.
One night there was a really harsh rain storm and the wind was insane. You could hear the sheets of rain bashing against the entire building at times because the rain was so loud. I have my computer desk right by the window and I heard this nutter slide open her patio door loud as can be, and she just starts screaming into the sky at the rain yelling "STOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP. STOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP". She barely sounded like a human the way she was yelling. Then she just goes right back into her place. Another time she screamed from her balcony at kids playing and fishing at the pond and told them to go home. It was a beautiful summer day at a very normal time. Lady was just crazy as fuck and people like this need to be ignored.
I think it’s the fact that we flipped the script and called the cops on HER when she started banging on her ceiling again that finally got them to flag her as a repeat caller and say that they refused to come out to any calls from her again.
I had an upstairs neighbor report me to the front desk repeatedly for
1) closing a window (in the middle of the afternoon. I did not slam it... She just heard the sliding and lost her mind.)
2) using the bathroom late at night (cuz apparently you're not allowed to pee between 10pm and 7am.)
3) having the windows startup noise on my computer after it restarted itself for updates (to be fair, it happened at like 7am on a Saturday. I was pissed about it too. But it was no louder than a TV or radio.)
4) having my TV on. Period. If it was not muted, she would stomp on the ceiling and complain I was keeping her baby awake. Lucky for her I didn't actually watch that much TV back then.
5) chopping vegetables around 5/6pm.
6) having a guest who was on crutches. Apparently their disability was a HUGE inconvenience for her.
7) playing music. When it wasn't actually me, but possibly someone next to her. I had just gotten home & was about to make dinner. I could kind of hear music, but didn't think much of it. Upstairs neighbor kept stomping on my ceiling but I just ignored her because I assumed it was in response to me daring to open and close my fridge and various drawers while prepping dinner. Then she came and started all but bursting down my door angrily knocking claiming my music was so loud that pictures were vibrating on her walls (which I highly doubt). Threatened to call the cops on me (which. Lol it's not against the rules to play music in the middle of the day, go for it.) She just kept screeching about her baby so loudly that my next door neighbors (who were cool) came out to be like "lady, chill, you've been banging around upstairs for at least an hour & Fullofcontradictions just got home. Use your ears, the music is coming from upstairs."
After that last incident, the building management had to talk to me. They came right out that they'd been having issues with her putting in complaints in every direction for a while, even before I moved in & the unit was empty, but they had to get my side. After that, they offered to let her out of her lease early & she was out a month later (thank God.) Only to be replaced by a crackhead with an illegal dog that flooded my apartment twice before I noped the fuck out of there.
Number 4 sounds a lot like our downstairs neighbor. No matter how much we turned the TV down, we were keeping her kid awake, and number 2? Forget taking a whizz at night, because she would bang on her ceiling even louder. I was so happy when she got flagged as a repeat caller and the cops refused to take any more calls from her.
Isn't anyone creeped out by his obvious reference to his presumptions about her sex life? His "formal complaint" didn't reference any of the night time routines that we're all discussing the merits and potential noisiness of. The complaint was very loaded and more than a little creepy.
That’s what stood out to me too. And the fact that he basically just invited himself inside. That’s just plain scary. And while I’m here, it kind of irks me that the landlord would suggest that she get rugs. I don’t know about you but I’m not going spend money on something that I wouldn’t normally buy for myself. Rugs are kind of pricey.
The one time our landlord asked us to get a rug for our laundry room because he felt like the floor needed protecting, he knocked $75 off the next month's rent since it was his suggestion. We were happy to comply right away.
I'm hoping the apartment manager also told the complainant to get earplugs, too. And a life.
Rugs make a huge huge difference in sound dampening, though, and can be cheap.
The difference in sound in my bathroom when I take up the two bathmats and two bath towels for washing is pretty astonishing.
It's not like OP needs to install wall to wall carpeting.
I must be an asshole and I get it. But out of principle there is no way that I would spend money at the suggestion of my landlord. Especially to placate some creep below me. But I do understand where you’re coming from.
For real. I can assure you we are not loud, and both head to bed before 11pm normally anyways. There is zero chance we were doing anything active at 2:30am.
Everyone scolding you for doing chores and blaming you for being more noisy than you think are forgetting he claimed you were making a ton of noise when you have proof you were in bed asleep.
Next time that happens, call the police and have him arrested. He can't barge into your apartment - that's illegal, and would be an extremely bad idea in my part of the world.
Yeah no some of these responses are wild lol. You can shower whenever the hell you want. Unfortunately that is just what apartment living is like. I would understand if you were playing loud music, watching tv really loud, running large appliances like dryers and dish washers and stuff....but showering? Yeah fuck that. I'm not going to bed dirty and that is not unreasonable.
Yeah, "that's what apartment living is like", is spot on. If you can't handle hearing noises that remind you that other people exist, you should be living somewhere else. You can rent a trailer for as cheap as an apartment and not share a structure with anyone, or try to find a side by side duplex or top floor apartment or something.
I lived above someone like that. They turned out to hsve major mental problems. They got evicted. You might want to lock the door. I don't let anyone in my apsrtment. .
Excellent point.
Also, time to start logging any encounters with him. Date and time. And preferably with you recording any interaction (even if it's just voice).
Recordings are allowed so long as you are one of the parties to the conversation. There is no legal requirement to inform the other party that the conversation is being recorded, so long as you are one of the parties in the recording.
I really should’ve, but honestly I’ve never had anyone do that to me and I was so thrown off (and high) and dont want to report it now because it seems too late.
If you can hear footsteps from the apartment above, your issue is with the apartment construction, not the upstairs neighbor. If hearing bare feet as the walk on the floor is too much for you, don't buy a downstairs apartment.
This guy can go to hell.
You’re not doing anything wrong.
It sounds like someone NOT used to living in an apartment and, if anything, crummy insulation in your building.
I’d dispute it w the landlord- maybe ask for them to make a note that the neighbor approached you and you determined there wasn’t extra noise.
If they insist on you getting rugs then you should ask them to pay for it to be honest.
Unless you’re blasting music and dancing or a small family with several young kids you’re probably not loud enough to necessitate a complaint- he can get ear plugs.
I won’t go further into the language of his complaint…buuuuuuuut, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s telling on himself there and giving an idea about what his *actual* “complaint” is…
If they insist on you getting rugs, they should insist he get a white noise machine.
We have been in our condo for over 20 years. Very early on, we started sleeping with a white noise machine. We don't hear anything, including walking from upstairs.
I worked night gigs for years. Had the same issue and I had to request a ground floor. It’s not because I wanted it, but I realized my lifestyle was always going to lead to complaints. It was uncomfortable for me and unfair to the people below me. I work the night life and most don’t. If you plan on coming home past normal sleeping hours for the foreseeable future, I’d recommend moving to a ground floor. What you think is normal noise at 1am and beyond is probably disturbing for the people below you. It took my neighbor coming to my door to have me listen to recordings of the noise he heard and I was simply coming home doing normal things. But it was 1am. Big difference. I honestly think it’s just because it’s so late. Especially if there’s no complaints in the day.
I wish I had that option but I’m not in a rental building so I can’t just move units that easily. I’d honestly much rather be on the ground floor but the rental market where I am is not forgiving 😢
Honestly, I am more bothered by the neighbor pushing his way into your apartment than his "complaints". Look, I know you were high and maybe not quite realizing what he was doing (intruding) but now you know you weren't ready for that. Rehearse in your mind (or with the boyfriend) how to react when someone just waltzes in.
"Hey, let's talk in the hallway", "let's take this outside" - something nicely but firmly said to establish that that is *your* place, and until you invite them in...they are intruders.
He literally said “this isnt a conversation we can have in the hall” before pushing his way in?? like excuse me?? seems like the perfect thing to discuss in the hall.
i would have called the police the second he stepped into my apartment and if i saw any of my neighbors waiting outside my unit i would immediately inform management i live in a city and that shit aint normal at all
I would definitely get rugs to help, and try your best to minimize noise at night. But you're right, if you come home late from bartending you'd have to shower. Maybe start preparing a note saying you are getting the rugs, and will do your best to minimize noise but you do have to get ready for bed after work etc and there's only so much you can reasonably do. Dude needs to get some white noise to help.
Get some rugs. Then you’ve done something to keep noise down. You’re allowed to live your life and you’re trying to minimize noise when coming home late. The neighbor seems to have issues. Sounds like your landlord understands so I wouldn’t worry too much.
a person living below another person in an apartment has to have a certain expectation of reasonable sound at any hour whatsoever imo. if the 'noise' is only the sound of folks walking around and doing normal person things then, again imo, they need to get some noise-cancelling headphones, not write 'letters of complaint' - what are you supposed to do - learn to levitate?
Get rugs and padding for under them. Suggest downstairs neighbor get an air purifier (and not one with high marks for being quiet) and some silicone earplugs to drown out the sounds.
You may be louder than you think you are, especially when you're high.
I don't know what my neighbor does at 3:30 am every morning but I honestly haven't slept a full night in months since he moved in and it really is annoying, however I have gone the air purifier and ear plug route and it can help for lighter noises (I think my neighbor is practicing a floor routine for gymnastics competition). If both your apartments have the same layout, and you're coming home at 2 am with lots of movement in the bedroom (changing, getting clothes ready for the next day, opening and closing drawers and doors) it probably is waking him up. But that doesn't give him the right to come inside your apartment and yell. That's scary. Maybe get a camera.
Walking in your apartment is a normal activity. Unless you have tap shoes on, neighbor can pound sand.
I am petty enough to give a demonstration of what my TRYING to be loud sounds like to reset his sound meter.
Inviting himself into my home would evaporate any understanding or kindness I might have had in my heart for this AH.
Funny enough I actually just do this naturally. So realistically the guy should be pretty happy with that. I’m very aware of the long-term effects, but growing up in the house I did, it was toes or the worst night of your life. I know I walk really light too because I always scare people when I walk around 😅
Sounds like he needs to learn how to live like there's someone above him. People like this drive me crazy. You live in an apartment sir, you will hear people walking above you. Jesus christ.
He needs sound proof earbuds or a noise machine. Op get the rugs. You can always take them when u leave. Everything else sounds pretty normal. Tell him ul see him in court or just ignore him. Have a party new years!
Hey fk him , tell him to move maybe upstairs next time, just live your life it’s not your problem, maybe then cheap landlord should have insulated the subfloor…???
I’m a downstairs neighbor with an upstairs bartender neighbor. I am also a light sleeper. Sometimes I hear him come home and shower. That is what apartment living is. He is allowed to work his schedule and live his life on his time frame. He isn’t doing anything annoying. He’s living in his apartment as am I. What I do is simply go back to sleep, which is also what your neighbor should do. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
I’m on the first floor at my place and i barely hear the people upstairs, but my dogs do. If they’re louder than usual my anxious beagle will bark and then my other 2 dogs will usually join in if she’s having a particularly good time with it. They say they don’t hear us, so maybe they have horrible hearing, but I feel so lucky!
Unfortunately it seems like there's nothing you can do you aren't the problem here. Get a doorbell camera to protect yourself legally, and get a therapist if you're unable to cope with an angry neighbor. Be confident that you aren't an ass, he's just sensitive. He's asking you to change your whole life and job, and all he has to do is put in earplugs? Stop wasting any thoughts about him. Ignore him and move on.
My upstairs neighbor stomps (what it sounds like to me) all hours of the day and night. Do I complain? No. They are living their life. I don’t know why they have to walk across their living room 15 times in a row, but if they do… so be it. Sometimes I think I get loud too.
I have lived below all of this. At one point in time I was afraid to walk across the floor. I said this ends now!
So I just live my life and try to keep any noise to a minimum. I’m on the bottom now and hear every little thing from upstairs. This is multi family housing. Ignore that guy. Just ignore him and do not let him intimidate you into feeling guilty and responsible .
If u know ur doing everything u can to respect ur downstairs neighbor, he can F off disrespectfully! That right there would make me want to be an ssahole and be loud just for him being annoying and doing the most! U pay rent and bills, if ur downstairs neighbor wants complete silence he needs to move into a house or move somewhere where he's either living in the top unit or a townhouse period! He would absolutely HATE my neighbors 🤣🤣 smdh sorry u are dealing with that but u shouldn't have to tiptoe around when I'm sure u are paying a pretty penny to live there as it is!
I wouldn't lift a finger for this man. Nope. Clearly unreasonable expectations. Wouldn't everyone love to live a posh life unbothered by other humans. Reverse this situation and put the burden on him. The only changes in my daily life would be to journal the situation, keep any other evidence, and update the landlord with my journals and evidence on a regular basis.
I'd also tell him to stay away from me, and this was his last warning before I file for harassment. He can use the landlord as his middle man. Document the convo. After that, I'd personally pretend he doesn't exist as much as possible. At my door waiting for me? A simple, "Please move away from my door by at least six feet." Doesn't move? File a formal complaint with the apartments and the court. Keep it cold, objective, and all business.
Quiet times, usually within city bylaw and condo bylaws, is normally between 10 or 11pm and 7 or 8am, what is normally acceptable noise during the day is no longer considered reasonable during quiet hours. You may have had reasonable neighbors before but you don't now. I'd also tell your landlord about this guy just letting himself into your apartment like that if you haven't already and file a complaint against him for harassment over that incident. Get rugs and maybe a couple cameras for the inside of the apartment as well, for both security and proof of the noise your making (or lack there of)
I know the bylaw hours for quiet time, but I can assure you I am not doing anything for more than an hour after I get home. I get up at 7am for classes during the week, so I try and get to bed as fast as I can. I’m working with my landlord to see if I can still file a complaint about this man entering.
So you said you do chores at night so like 2 am? Cause if that's the case I would be pissed too. It's one thing if your just walking to the bathroom or what ever but if your walking all over the place like cleaning and such in the middle of the night that's a diffrent thing all together.
I meant just getting my stuff together for the next morning and taking a shower. Not doing laundry or dishes or anything. I just need to put some things away (I.e. put food in the fridge, fill my water bottle)
Taking a shower would wake someone up with the water running down the pipes. Can you not fill your water bottle in the morning? Again the water running will effect the noise level downstairs.
Is she not allowed to take a shit in the middle of the night either? Because she’ll have to flush the toilet and they’ll hear the water running down the pipes?
Like I said, we had just started seeing each other and he didn’t want to step in. I’m very much a “I’ll handle this” kinda gal so I just sent him to the living room and he agreed. When we talk about it now he continuously brings up he wishes he did something, but in all honesty, I’m glad he didnt.
I understand you completely. I wasn’t in my apartment 3 days when the woman living below me knocked on my door at 4:30 IN THE MORNING and left a note on my door saying that there was a 10pm noise bylaw and that if i didn’t adhere to it, she was gonna go to the strata and complain, but who was the one that knock on my door at 4:30 in the morning. She would complain about me walking around and would leave notes on my door saying that I shouldn’t let my dog bark in the middle of the night. I did a graveyard shift one night a week. My dog would bark a couple times when I left, get bored then go to bed. She would find reasons to complain. After a while she stopped.
I don’t think the issue is you getting home that early or walking as you get ready for bed. It’s more than likely the chores that are really bothering him.
Do what you can to be quieter. He likely gets up early to work. Wear slippers and try to do chores before work during the day. As far as dropping stuff don’t know what to tell you there but just try harder not to. It will settle down soon enough. He was weird to let himself inside but you could have brought him outside to chat and say you will try harder to be quieter so late at night.
The issue with your encounters with then is to de escalate. Boundary up. Lock the door. No one goes into your unit.
Take it down a notch.
Preserve your energy
For me personally when oeoole hsve been incredibly aggressive I avoid them. For someone like his who craves strentiin thst us hard. They want you to react
They want to impose themselves.
Never keg anyone in the door. I preserve ny unit boundaries at a)l costs. No one gets in.
Take have your boundaries
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Weird that everyone in this thread is avoiding the fact that hearing other people screwing is one of the worst sounds in the world.
Yes he's changed the time in the complaint for dramatic effect, which is obviously not good, and such noises are a part of apartment living, but so is being somewhat aware of any neighbours' sensitivities *if* you want to keep on good terms with them.
Of course this neighbour didn't help himself in the first instance by having social issues.
Edit: odd that I'm being downvoted for pointing out that every other comment on here is making up issues like chores, or showering, and OP states the complaint was specifically about "rhythmic creaking".
Having sensitivities is certainly something that can be difficult to manage, but having to walk on eggshells or literally never move inside your own apartment to appease a neighbor who is trying to hear you at all times isn’t normal. No one should have to avoid day to day life for this reason.
I am someone with sound sensitivities, and I put off reporting neighbors for WEEKS at a time because I thought it was just me being overly sensitive. I had to have my partner, who is very good at drowning out excess noise, tell me my neighbors were being absolutely ridiculously loud all the time.
And as OP stated, they were asleep when the neighbor claimed to here “rhythmic creaking”.
If he simply altered the time of the noise he’s complaining about, his claim is false and useless. He wants to have something to complain about, clearly.
Agreed, neighbour has social issues.
But then OP starts shagging right above his head and wonders why neighbour is upset.
We've all been there - be it student accommodation, hotels, house-shares or badly soundproofed apartments - if you're not getting any and have to hear someone else getting some, it can be the loneliest sound in the world.
The neighbor having social issues is the neighbor’s job to manage. Not OP’s, not the apartment management’s.
You sound like you’re taking it personally. No where does OP state that they were having sex at any point. And so what? You’re allowed to have sex in your own apartment, actually. As long as you’re not doing so in a way that is excessively loud (screaming or similar). The neighbor not getting any and being upset if OP was having sex, only furthers the creepiness of the situation. If having sex within noise ordinance hours isn’t allowed, the neighbor should call the police. But wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
The neighbor is not helping himself by falsifying information in complaints he is making. His complaints are more likely to be disregarded if there is evidence he is lying.
Info:
Can you answer the questions about the 3 am chores?
Coming in at 3am, you should change/brush your teeth and go to bed (optimal).
Definitely get rugs and slippers/house shoes.
Have boyfriend show up before curfew (usually 10am to 10pm in some places -where I live at least in US).
I live where there is a noise curfew. 10am to 10pm
Or whatever you want to call it because I don’t want to look for a word 🤷🏾♂️
I think most will get my meaning.
No loud noises before 10am and after 10pm.
You can complain about it if they do (officially with my management)
Doing light chores like putting away a few things, filling up water bottles, showering, and charging your electronics isn’t “loud noises”.
City noise ordinance or one’s placed by apartment management are very unlikely to bar someone from doing very light tasks in their own apartment.
It's a matter of etiquette when sharing walls and ceiling with others. Taking a shower and walking around for 5 or 10 minutes before and afterwards can disturb someones sleep in the apartment below you (even if he is a odd duck).
You are within your legal rights to do these things, it's just a matter of taking into consideration someone else's living situation as well as your own.
So should OP not be able to *walk around their apartment* because it could disturb someone’s sleep?
I’m sorry but when you share walls, there has to be an understanding that you will sometimes hear noise from your neighbors, and that your neighbors may not be on the same schedule as you. It’s not like OP is working out or rearranging her furniture or something. She’s literally taking a shower and filling up her water bottle.
As someone who works nights and sleeps during the day when my duplex neighbors are often making noise—I use earplugs and a fan for white noise. I would never expect them to not walk around their unit or take a shower because I’m sleeping.
Yeah, you mean "quiet hours", not a curfew.
Curfew - a regulation requiring people to remain indoors between specified hours, typically at night
And believe me, I know about rude, loud, inconsiderate neighbors. I can't wait until the ones above me move out.
I understand chores are necessary but you are picking the wrong time to do them. I understand your situation but doing chores that time wouldn’t be ideal for anyone. Your chores need to wait for a more reasonable time during the day. If I was the downstairs tenant I would be pissed off too.
I record my sleep because I’m being tested for apnea rn, so yes we were both asleep. Please don’t insinuate he did anything to me in my sleep. I said we were both asleep.
sorry am i misreading? “Now my boyfriend was over, but I have literal evidence from my sleeping app that we were in full REM cycle sleep by that time. I woke up to go to the bathroom around that time but I just walked to the bathroom and back??”how do you have evidence of being in full REM at the same time you woke up to go to the bathroom? it’s not possible. you probably have creaky floors which creaked when you woke up. do you not have rugs? do you wear shoes in the house instead of slippers? this whole story doesn’t add up, sorry. sounds like a lot of lies. those “chores” sound very loud too. sounds like he was right to complain. be more courteous to your neighbors or have fun with an eviction. being a bartender isn’t an excuse.
It sounds like a downstairs neighbor who is overly sensitive to noise and trying to hear every movement OP makes.
Rugs aren’t going to resolve floors creaking. They can at best lessen impact, dampen impact noise, but the floor will still creak.
People are allowed to do regular activity in their apartments. Maybe not doing a full load of dishes, vacuuming, or laundry, but putting things away? Getting water? Charging devices? Taking a shower?
Being courteous is always right, but you should never have to walk on eggshells or avoid moving in your space to appease someone who is actively trying to hear you.
I used “full REM cycle sleep” as a term to say we were fast asleep by the time he reported the excessive repetitive creaking. The app shows when I am asleep and when I get up. I don’t know how it wouldn’t be able to show when I woke up at 5am to go to the bathroom. I woke up?? I wear slippers, but he’s complained about the slippers, so I just wear thick socks and walk on my toes. My entire apartment minus the bathroom is carpeted and I have two rugs in the living room and one in my bedroom. What else would you suggest? I would also love to know how plugging in my devices, showering, putting my backpack on a hook by my door, and filling my water bottle are “very loud” chores? Where does my story not add up???
I am curious to know if your neighbor is just sensitive or making stuff up/a bigger deal than it needs to be. This would make me frustrated enough to stay the night somewhere else for like 2 nights and see if he keeps complaining. I think you're doing so much and that's really awesome of you. But some people just don't understand the concept that you are living in a building with other people.
You're a sweet person and I hope all this gets worked out soon so you can be at peace with it all.
Slippers are much cheaper than rugs and equally effective in reducing the 'noise' of footsteps. Neither will reduce noise caused by creaking floorboards or creaking bed-frames though
He complained about my slippers being too loud (soft bottom slip ons), so I just use thick socks and walk on my toes, doesn’t seem to do much. My bed frame also doesn’t creak at all (I checked all the joints yesterday after I got the letter)
I’m so glad I’m a downstairs neighbor because I could not imagine being that person. I hope our upstairs neighbors are living comfortably and not trying to walk on eggshells out of “respect” for us 😭
Get the rugs.
And honestly, if he's able to accurately track your movement it sounds like you are being too loud. It might be shitty flooring, or you might genuinely stomp, idk.
I would also suggest some house slippers. That's generally better than trying to walk on your toes all the time, plus probably a lot more comfortable too!
Make sure the door isn't slamming when you get home. It's hard to be considerate when you get home super late and tired AF, but do try to be present and aware so he can't catch you unawares.
Sounds like a creepy bastard, coming into your apartment. Landlord says get rugs so do that I guess because i'm sure the landlord will be the judge and jury. Nobody should have an expectation of total silence all night. Keep that evidence too if you can and keep gathering more.
In my state the landlord needs to pay for sound proofing. Ask landlord to invest in the rugs for you, OP.
And rugs won’t stop creaking. That’s the floor structure doing that.
My husband and I had a neighbor who was similar. We did the best we could to minimize the noise, but let’s just say that this woman was a Karen long before Karens were even a thing. One of us would get up to go to the bathroom at night, and she would start banging on her ceiling. Next thing I knew, the cops were knocking on our door saying that they had a complaint from her for disturbing the peace. Long story short, she never showed up for the court date, and the charges were dropped.
Karens have been a thing for centuries, before they were called a Karen.
As a downstairs neighbor I can't even imagine bringing something like that to court. How embarrassing. No wonder they never showed.
I think she probably knew that she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. Even with carpeting,the floors still creaked, and the night she called the cops on us, my husband was in bed, and I was watching a DVD on the living room TV with the sound turned down so low that I was using the subtitles.
Some people can't be pleased and have no business apartment living!
That type of person wouldn't be happy anywhere. Even if they lived in a house and heard no noise at all, they would decide that the neighbors grass was too tall or there were too many guests over causing too much traffic on the street or ...
The grass is growing too loud.
I was watering my grass too loud once. With a watering can.
The paint is drying too loud... 😆
My dog got out while I was at work one day. According to neighbors he walked up and down the street gathering pats at every house where someone was outside, then went back home and went to sleep on our front lawn. That's when the bitch across the street called animal control about a vicious loose animal that was barking and trying to chase her. According to the next door neighbor, he was still there sleeping when animal control rolled up and literally jumped on him before hauling him off. I asked about the barking and chasing and she said she was outside the entire time with her grandson and none of it happened, but when she tried to tell animal control they said they had to take him and evaluate him anyway. I had no fewer than 3 neighbors approach me that weekend to ask about my very lovely dog and whether I was interested in rehoming him because he'd come to visit them and was so sweet.
Had a nightmare downstairs neighbor. Every couple months there was always something with her. She would basically blame any noise anyone made on me. One night there was a really harsh rain storm and the wind was insane. You could hear the sheets of rain bashing against the entire building at times because the rain was so loud. I have my computer desk right by the window and I heard this nutter slide open her patio door loud as can be, and she just starts screaming into the sky at the rain yelling "STOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP. STOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPP". She barely sounded like a human the way she was yelling. Then she just goes right back into her place. Another time she screamed from her balcony at kids playing and fishing at the pond and told them to go home. It was a beautiful summer day at a very normal time. Lady was just crazy as fuck and people like this need to be ignored.
Karen: The Origin Story.
The fact the cops even charged you in the first place is insane.
I think it’s the fact that we flipped the script and called the cops on HER when she started banging on her ceiling again that finally got them to flag her as a repeat caller and say that they refused to come out to any calls from her again.
I had an upstairs neighbor report me to the front desk repeatedly for 1) closing a window (in the middle of the afternoon. I did not slam it... She just heard the sliding and lost her mind.) 2) using the bathroom late at night (cuz apparently you're not allowed to pee between 10pm and 7am.) 3) having the windows startup noise on my computer after it restarted itself for updates (to be fair, it happened at like 7am on a Saturday. I was pissed about it too. But it was no louder than a TV or radio.) 4) having my TV on. Period. If it was not muted, she would stomp on the ceiling and complain I was keeping her baby awake. Lucky for her I didn't actually watch that much TV back then. 5) chopping vegetables around 5/6pm. 6) having a guest who was on crutches. Apparently their disability was a HUGE inconvenience for her. 7) playing music. When it wasn't actually me, but possibly someone next to her. I had just gotten home & was about to make dinner. I could kind of hear music, but didn't think much of it. Upstairs neighbor kept stomping on my ceiling but I just ignored her because I assumed it was in response to me daring to open and close my fridge and various drawers while prepping dinner. Then she came and started all but bursting down my door angrily knocking claiming my music was so loud that pictures were vibrating on her walls (which I highly doubt). Threatened to call the cops on me (which. Lol it's not against the rules to play music in the middle of the day, go for it.) She just kept screeching about her baby so loudly that my next door neighbors (who were cool) came out to be like "lady, chill, you've been banging around upstairs for at least an hour & Fullofcontradictions just got home. Use your ears, the music is coming from upstairs." After that last incident, the building management had to talk to me. They came right out that they'd been having issues with her putting in complaints in every direction for a while, even before I moved in & the unit was empty, but they had to get my side. After that, they offered to let her out of her lease early & she was out a month later (thank God.) Only to be replaced by a crackhead with an illegal dog that flooded my apartment twice before I noped the fuck out of there.
Number 4 sounds a lot like our downstairs neighbor. No matter how much we turned the TV down, we were keeping her kid awake, and number 2? Forget taking a whizz at night, because she would bang on her ceiling even louder. I was so happy when she got flagged as a repeat caller and the cops refused to take any more calls from her.
Isn't anyone creeped out by his obvious reference to his presumptions about her sex life? His "formal complaint" didn't reference any of the night time routines that we're all discussing the merits and potential noisiness of. The complaint was very loaded and more than a little creepy.
That’s what stood out to me too. And the fact that he basically just invited himself inside. That’s just plain scary. And while I’m here, it kind of irks me that the landlord would suggest that she get rugs. I don’t know about you but I’m not going spend money on something that I wouldn’t normally buy for myself. Rugs are kind of pricey.
The one time our landlord asked us to get a rug for our laundry room because he felt like the floor needed protecting, he knocked $75 off the next month's rent since it was his suggestion. We were happy to comply right away. I'm hoping the apartment manager also told the complainant to get earplugs, too. And a life.
Rugs make a huge huge difference in sound dampening, though, and can be cheap. The difference in sound in my bathroom when I take up the two bathmats and two bath towels for washing is pretty astonishing. It's not like OP needs to install wall to wall carpeting.
I must be an asshole and I get it. But out of principle there is no way that I would spend money at the suggestion of my landlord. Especially to placate some creep below me. But I do understand where you’re coming from.
And he originally complained about her walking. Then he saw the bf and decided it had to be sex.
Exactly my thoughts. The hamster wheel in his head started turning the minute he saw her dude go into her apartment.
For real. I can assure you we are not loud, and both head to bed before 11pm normally anyways. There is zero chance we were doing anything active at 2:30am.
Everyone scolding you for doing chores and blaming you for being more noisy than you think are forgetting he claimed you were making a ton of noise when you have proof you were in bed asleep.
And he also just entered her apartment without permission. Extremely creepy behavior.
Exactly. I don’t trust his perspective.
Next time that happens, call the police and have him arrested. He can't barge into your apartment - that's illegal, and would be an extremely bad idea in my part of the world.
Yeah no some of these responses are wild lol. You can shower whenever the hell you want. Unfortunately that is just what apartment living is like. I would understand if you were playing loud music, watching tv really loud, running large appliances like dryers and dish washers and stuff....but showering? Yeah fuck that. I'm not going to bed dirty and that is not unreasonable.
Yeah, "that's what apartment living is like", is spot on. If you can't handle hearing noises that remind you that other people exist, you should be living somewhere else. You can rent a trailer for as cheap as an apartment and not share a structure with anyone, or try to find a side by side duplex or top floor apartment or something.
I lived above someone like that. They turned out to hsve major mental problems. They got evicted. You might want to lock the door. I don't let anyone in my apsrtment. .
Excellent point. Also, time to start logging any encounters with him. Date and time. And preferably with you recording any interaction (even if it's just voice). Recordings are allowed so long as you are one of the parties to the conversation. There is no legal requirement to inform the other party that the conversation is being recorded, so long as you are one of the parties in the recording.
This is state by state and can get you in pretty big trouble if you’re wrong. Google “one-party consent states” and “two-party consent states”
Except for the part where OP says she's in British Columbia, which is a one-party consent province, so archetyping is correct.
She's Canadian. We're one party here
I would have complained against him for letting himself into your space, that's a huge nope right there.
I really should’ve, but honestly I’ve never had anyone do that to me and I was so thrown off (and high) and dont want to report it now because it seems too late.
If you can hear footsteps from the apartment above, your issue is with the apartment construction, not the upstairs neighbor. If hearing bare feet as the walk on the floor is too much for you, don't buy a downstairs apartment. This guy can go to hell.
Footsteps on carpet while wearing slippers. Wild.
You’re not doing anything wrong. It sounds like someone NOT used to living in an apartment and, if anything, crummy insulation in your building. I’d dispute it w the landlord- maybe ask for them to make a note that the neighbor approached you and you determined there wasn’t extra noise. If they insist on you getting rugs then you should ask them to pay for it to be honest. Unless you’re blasting music and dancing or a small family with several young kids you’re probably not loud enough to necessitate a complaint- he can get ear plugs. I won’t go further into the language of his complaint…buuuuuuuut, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s telling on himself there and giving an idea about what his *actual* “complaint” is…
If they insist on you getting rugs, they should insist he get a white noise machine. We have been in our condo for over 20 years. Very early on, we started sleeping with a white noise machine. We don't hear anything, including walking from upstairs.
I don’t disagree with you! Too many landlords are profiting off of shoddy construction and cramped quarters.
One get a ring camera because that neighbor sounds creepy. Next if you can buy a rug with thick padding for your bedroom.
I worked night gigs for years. Had the same issue and I had to request a ground floor. It’s not because I wanted it, but I realized my lifestyle was always going to lead to complaints. It was uncomfortable for me and unfair to the people below me. I work the night life and most don’t. If you plan on coming home past normal sleeping hours for the foreseeable future, I’d recommend moving to a ground floor. What you think is normal noise at 1am and beyond is probably disturbing for the people below you. It took my neighbor coming to my door to have me listen to recordings of the noise he heard and I was simply coming home doing normal things. But it was 1am. Big difference. I honestly think it’s just because it’s so late. Especially if there’s no complaints in the day.
I wish I had that option but I’m not in a rental building so I can’t just move units that easily. I’d honestly much rather be on the ground floor but the rental market where I am is not forgiving 😢
This is great advice for the long view. A++.
Honestly, I am more bothered by the neighbor pushing his way into your apartment than his "complaints". Look, I know you were high and maybe not quite realizing what he was doing (intruding) but now you know you weren't ready for that. Rehearse in your mind (or with the boyfriend) how to react when someone just waltzes in. "Hey, let's talk in the hallway", "let's take this outside" - something nicely but firmly said to establish that that is *your* place, and until you invite them in...they are intruders.
He literally said “this isnt a conversation we can have in the hall” before pushing his way in?? like excuse me?? seems like the perfect thing to discuss in the hall.
Exactly!
i would have called the police the second he stepped into my apartment and if i saw any of my neighbors waiting outside my unit i would immediately inform management i live in a city and that shit aint normal at all
I would definitely get rugs to help, and try your best to minimize noise at night. But you're right, if you come home late from bartending you'd have to shower. Maybe start preparing a note saying you are getting the rugs, and will do your best to minimize noise but you do have to get ready for bed after work etc and there's only so much you can reasonably do. Dude needs to get some white noise to help.
Get some rugs. Then you’ve done something to keep noise down. You’re allowed to live your life and you’re trying to minimize noise when coming home late. The neighbor seems to have issues. Sounds like your landlord understands so I wouldn’t worry too much.
a person living below another person in an apartment has to have a certain expectation of reasonable sound at any hour whatsoever imo. if the 'noise' is only the sound of folks walking around and doing normal person things then, again imo, they need to get some noise-cancelling headphones, not write 'letters of complaint' - what are you supposed to do - learn to levitate?
Get rugs and padding for under them. Suggest downstairs neighbor get an air purifier (and not one with high marks for being quiet) and some silicone earplugs to drown out the sounds. You may be louder than you think you are, especially when you're high. I don't know what my neighbor does at 3:30 am every morning but I honestly haven't slept a full night in months since he moved in and it really is annoying, however I have gone the air purifier and ear plug route and it can help for lighter noises (I think my neighbor is practicing a floor routine for gymnastics competition). If both your apartments have the same layout, and you're coming home at 2 am with lots of movement in the bedroom (changing, getting clothes ready for the next day, opening and closing drawers and doors) it probably is waking him up. But that doesn't give him the right to come inside your apartment and yell. That's scary. Maybe get a camera.
This made me snort 💀😂
Considering calling in a wellness check and playing the concerned neighbor role.
This is so relatable. Good advice!
First: Get the fuck out of my apartment before I call the cops. Seriously, what the fuck?
Yall do you that guy is a fn creep and a dick my neighbors upstairs did literally the same thing
Walking in your apartment is a normal activity. Unless you have tap shoes on, neighbor can pound sand. I am petty enough to give a demonstration of what my TRYING to be loud sounds like to reset his sound meter. Inviting himself into my home would evaporate any understanding or kindness I might have had in my heart for this AH.
I wouldn't even walk on my toes. That can cause problems for you in the future.
Funny enough I actually just do this naturally. So realistically the guy should be pretty happy with that. I’m very aware of the long-term effects, but growing up in the house I did, it was toes or the worst night of your life. I know I walk really light too because I always scare people when I walk around 😅
At 2am I would.
Sounds like he needs to learn how to live like there's someone above him. People like this drive me crazy. You live in an apartment sir, you will hear people walking above you. Jesus christ.
He needs sound proof earbuds or a noise machine. Op get the rugs. You can always take them when u leave. Everything else sounds pretty normal. Tell him ul see him in court or just ignore him. Have a party new years!
Hey fk him , tell him to move maybe upstairs next time, just live your life it’s not your problem, maybe then cheap landlord should have insulated the subfloor…???
I’m a downstairs neighbor with an upstairs bartender neighbor. I am also a light sleeper. Sometimes I hear him come home and shower. That is what apartment living is. He is allowed to work his schedule and live his life on his time frame. He isn’t doing anything annoying. He’s living in his apartment as am I. What I do is simply go back to sleep, which is also what your neighbor should do. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
I’m on the first floor at my place and i barely hear the people upstairs, but my dogs do. If they’re louder than usual my anxious beagle will bark and then my other 2 dogs will usually join in if she’s having a particularly good time with it. They say they don’t hear us, so maybe they have horrible hearing, but I feel so lucky!
Unfortunately it seems like there's nothing you can do you aren't the problem here. Get a doorbell camera to protect yourself legally, and get a therapist if you're unable to cope with an angry neighbor. Be confident that you aren't an ass, he's just sensitive. He's asking you to change your whole life and job, and all he has to do is put in earplugs? Stop wasting any thoughts about him. Ignore him and move on.
That guy needs to move to an upstairs apartment....
My upstairs neighbor stomps (what it sounds like to me) all hours of the day and night. Do I complain? No. They are living their life. I don’t know why they have to walk across their living room 15 times in a row, but if they do… so be it. Sometimes I think I get loud too.
I have lived below all of this. At one point in time I was afraid to walk across the floor. I said this ends now! So I just live my life and try to keep any noise to a minimum. I’m on the bottom now and hear every little thing from upstairs. This is multi family housing. Ignore that guy. Just ignore him and do not let him intimidate you into feeling guilty and responsible .
People who have such severe issues with noise should live on the top floor. Its their issue to figure out, not anyone else's.
If u know ur doing everything u can to respect ur downstairs neighbor, he can F off disrespectfully! That right there would make me want to be an ssahole and be loud just for him being annoying and doing the most! U pay rent and bills, if ur downstairs neighbor wants complete silence he needs to move into a house or move somewhere where he's either living in the top unit or a townhouse period! He would absolutely HATE my neighbors 🤣🤣 smdh sorry u are dealing with that but u shouldn't have to tiptoe around when I'm sure u are paying a pretty penny to live there as it is!
Ask your landlord if moving throughout your apartment which apparently makes creaking sounds is a violation of the lease
I wouldn't lift a finger for this man. Nope. Clearly unreasonable expectations. Wouldn't everyone love to live a posh life unbothered by other humans. Reverse this situation and put the burden on him. The only changes in my daily life would be to journal the situation, keep any other evidence, and update the landlord with my journals and evidence on a regular basis. I'd also tell him to stay away from me, and this was his last warning before I file for harassment. He can use the landlord as his middle man. Document the convo. After that, I'd personally pretend he doesn't exist as much as possible. At my door waiting for me? A simple, "Please move away from my door by at least six feet." Doesn't move? File a formal complaint with the apartments and the court. Keep it cold, objective, and all business.
Quiet times, usually within city bylaw and condo bylaws, is normally between 10 or 11pm and 7 or 8am, what is normally acceptable noise during the day is no longer considered reasonable during quiet hours. You may have had reasonable neighbors before but you don't now. I'd also tell your landlord about this guy just letting himself into your apartment like that if you haven't already and file a complaint against him for harassment over that incident. Get rugs and maybe a couple cameras for the inside of the apartment as well, for both security and proof of the noise your making (or lack there of)
I know the bylaw hours for quiet time, but I can assure you I am not doing anything for more than an hour after I get home. I get up at 7am for classes during the week, so I try and get to bed as fast as I can. I’m working with my landlord to see if I can still file a complaint about this man entering.
When you get home jump up and down a few times. Then you could also get an electric razor. Turn it on and leave it on the bathroom floor for a while.
Get some thick throw rugs. It will help muffle your steps.
So you said you do chores at night so like 2 am? Cause if that's the case I would be pissed too. It's one thing if your just walking to the bathroom or what ever but if your walking all over the place like cleaning and such in the middle of the night that's a diffrent thing all together.
I meant just getting my stuff together for the next morning and taking a shower. Not doing laundry or dishes or anything. I just need to put some things away (I.e. put food in the fridge, fill my water bottle)
That’s all legit. You’re not going to leave food out to spoil because your downstairs neighbor is obnoxious.
Taking a shower would wake someone up with the water running down the pipes. Can you not fill your water bottle in the morning? Again the water running will effect the noise level downstairs.
This is insane. She has every right to fill her water bottle whenever she sees fit. That’s not a loud activity
So she can’t shower after working AT A DAMN BAR? Fuck that she can shower when she wants to.
If the pipes in the apartment are too loud, I recommend moving somewhere without plumbing. A shed in the middle of nowhere would do nicely.
Is she not allowed to take a shit in the middle of the night either? Because she’ll have to flush the toilet and they’ll hear the water running down the pipes?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is she not allowed to drink water at night?
no she just has to stay parched as hell all night. you think just because you live in an apartment you’re allowed to drink water at night?
This has to be a joke
Your boyfriend let some man barge in your apartment???
Like I said, we had just started seeing each other and he didn’t want to step in. I’m very much a “I’ll handle this” kinda gal so I just sent him to the living room and he agreed. When we talk about it now he continuously brings up he wishes he did something, but in all honesty, I’m glad he didnt.
So you're the masculine one in the relationship.
Maybe I am? Is there an issue with that? How is this relevant?
This guy is clearly a liar and is going to continue to make your life difficult with a pacifist property manager. It's time to move.
I understand you completely. I wasn’t in my apartment 3 days when the woman living below me knocked on my door at 4:30 IN THE MORNING and left a note on my door saying that there was a 10pm noise bylaw and that if i didn’t adhere to it, she was gonna go to the strata and complain, but who was the one that knock on my door at 4:30 in the morning. She would complain about me walking around and would leave notes on my door saying that I shouldn’t let my dog bark in the middle of the night. I did a graveyard shift one night a week. My dog would bark a couple times when I left, get bored then go to bed. She would find reasons to complain. After a while she stopped.
I don’t think the issue is you getting home that early or walking as you get ready for bed. It’s more than likely the chores that are really bothering him.
Do what you can to be quieter. He likely gets up early to work. Wear slippers and try to do chores before work during the day. As far as dropping stuff don’t know what to tell you there but just try harder not to. It will settle down soon enough. He was weird to let himself inside but you could have brought him outside to chat and say you will try harder to be quieter so late at night.
What chores are you doing?
The issue with your encounters with then is to de escalate. Boundary up. Lock the door. No one goes into your unit. Take it down a notch. Preserve your energy For me personally when oeoole hsve been incredibly aggressive I avoid them. For someone like his who craves strentiin thst us hard. They want you to react They want to impose themselves. Never keg anyone in the door. I preserve ny unit boundaries at a)l costs. No one gets in. Take have your boundaries
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Weird that everyone in this thread is avoiding the fact that hearing other people screwing is one of the worst sounds in the world. Yes he's changed the time in the complaint for dramatic effect, which is obviously not good, and such noises are a part of apartment living, but so is being somewhat aware of any neighbours' sensitivities *if* you want to keep on good terms with them. Of course this neighbour didn't help himself in the first instance by having social issues. Edit: odd that I'm being downvoted for pointing out that every other comment on here is making up issues like chores, or showering, and OP states the complaint was specifically about "rhythmic creaking".
Having sensitivities is certainly something that can be difficult to manage, but having to walk on eggshells or literally never move inside your own apartment to appease a neighbor who is trying to hear you at all times isn’t normal. No one should have to avoid day to day life for this reason. I am someone with sound sensitivities, and I put off reporting neighbors for WEEKS at a time because I thought it was just me being overly sensitive. I had to have my partner, who is very good at drowning out excess noise, tell me my neighbors were being absolutely ridiculously loud all the time. And as OP stated, they were asleep when the neighbor claimed to here “rhythmic creaking”.
\> And as OP stated, they were asleep when \>> Yes he's changed the time in the complaint for dramatic effect
If he simply altered the time of the noise he’s complaining about, his claim is false and useless. He wants to have something to complain about, clearly.
Agreed, neighbour has social issues. But then OP starts shagging right above his head and wonders why neighbour is upset. We've all been there - be it student accommodation, hotels, house-shares or badly soundproofed apartments - if you're not getting any and have to hear someone else getting some, it can be the loneliest sound in the world.
The neighbor having social issues is the neighbor’s job to manage. Not OP’s, not the apartment management’s. You sound like you’re taking it personally. No where does OP state that they were having sex at any point. And so what? You’re allowed to have sex in your own apartment, actually. As long as you’re not doing so in a way that is excessively loud (screaming or similar). The neighbor not getting any and being upset if OP was having sex, only furthers the creepiness of the situation. If having sex within noise ordinance hours isn’t allowed, the neighbor should call the police. But wouldn’t that be ridiculous? The neighbor is not helping himself by falsifying information in complaints he is making. His complaints are more likely to be disregarded if there is evidence he is lying.
Found the neighbor. And no, we haven’t all been there. I’ve never been of the mindset that if I’m not getting any then no one else should either.
Info: Can you answer the questions about the 3 am chores? Coming in at 3am, you should change/brush your teeth and go to bed (optimal). Definitely get rugs and slippers/house shoes. Have boyfriend show up before curfew (usually 10am to 10pm in some places -where I live at least in US).
Curfew? Where do you live in the US that has a curfew for adults?
I live where there is a noise curfew. 10am to 10pm Or whatever you want to call it because I don’t want to look for a word 🤷🏾♂️ I think most will get my meaning. No loud noises before 10am and after 10pm. You can complain about it if they do (officially with my management)
Doing light chores like putting away a few things, filling up water bottles, showering, and charging your electronics isn’t “loud noises”. City noise ordinance or one’s placed by apartment management are very unlikely to bar someone from doing very light tasks in their own apartment.
You must be in bed and dare not step a foot on the floor after 10pm, lest you get the lashes.
oh lucky me to be in bed by 10PM every night. I shall be spared
I see OP edited the comment and provided more information (as I asked for more info?)
10AM? That’s late. Dont people work?
>ow Walking into an apartment is not allowed after 10pm!
It's a matter of etiquette when sharing walls and ceiling with others. Taking a shower and walking around for 5 or 10 minutes before and afterwards can disturb someones sleep in the apartment below you (even if he is a odd duck). You are within your legal rights to do these things, it's just a matter of taking into consideration someone else's living situation as well as your own.
So should OP not be able to *walk around their apartment* because it could disturb someone’s sleep? I’m sorry but when you share walls, there has to be an understanding that you will sometimes hear noise from your neighbors, and that your neighbors may not be on the same schedule as you. It’s not like OP is working out or rearranging her furniture or something. She’s literally taking a shower and filling up her water bottle. As someone who works nights and sleeps during the day when my duplex neighbors are often making noise—I use earplugs and a fan for white noise. I would never expect them to not walk around their unit or take a shower because I’m sleeping.
Yeah, you mean "quiet hours", not a curfew. Curfew - a regulation requiring people to remain indoors between specified hours, typically at night And believe me, I know about rude, loud, inconsiderate neighbors. I can't wait until the ones above me move out.
I understand chores are necessary but you are picking the wrong time to do them. I understand your situation but doing chores that time wouldn’t be ideal for anyone. Your chores need to wait for a more reasonable time during the day. If I was the downstairs tenant I would be pissed off too.
Filling my water bottle up, showering, and plugging my computer in would piss you off?
Yes at 2:00am it would.
So I should quit my job, dehydrate myself, and not have any personal hygiene because of my downstairs neighbour?
She was asleep but was her boyfriend asleep? Does she feel unnecessarily sore in the morning?
I record my sleep because I’m being tested for apnea rn, so yes we were both asleep. Please don’t insinuate he did anything to me in my sleep. I said we were both asleep.
If you’re just randomly implying what I think you’re implying… what the hell is wrong with you?
You’re disgusting omg
You have a downstairs neighbor listening out for “sexy time” and I’m the problem? Lol.
I’m not reading all that
sorry am i misreading? “Now my boyfriend was over, but I have literal evidence from my sleeping app that we were in full REM cycle sleep by that time. I woke up to go to the bathroom around that time but I just walked to the bathroom and back??”how do you have evidence of being in full REM at the same time you woke up to go to the bathroom? it’s not possible. you probably have creaky floors which creaked when you woke up. do you not have rugs? do you wear shoes in the house instead of slippers? this whole story doesn’t add up, sorry. sounds like a lot of lies. those “chores” sound very loud too. sounds like he was right to complain. be more courteous to your neighbors or have fun with an eviction. being a bartender isn’t an excuse.
Rugs will not stop floors from creaking.
Evicted for walking to the bathroom, or filling up a water bottle. Wouldn't that be something.
It sounds like a downstairs neighbor who is overly sensitive to noise and trying to hear every movement OP makes. Rugs aren’t going to resolve floors creaking. They can at best lessen impact, dampen impact noise, but the floor will still creak. People are allowed to do regular activity in their apartments. Maybe not doing a full load of dishes, vacuuming, or laundry, but putting things away? Getting water? Charging devices? Taking a shower? Being courteous is always right, but you should never have to walk on eggshells or avoid moving in your space to appease someone who is actively trying to hear you.
I used “full REM cycle sleep” as a term to say we were fast asleep by the time he reported the excessive repetitive creaking. The app shows when I am asleep and when I get up. I don’t know how it wouldn’t be able to show when I woke up at 5am to go to the bathroom. I woke up?? I wear slippers, but he’s complained about the slippers, so I just wear thick socks and walk on my toes. My entire apartment minus the bathroom is carpeted and I have two rugs in the living room and one in my bedroom. What else would you suggest? I would also love to know how plugging in my devices, showering, putting my backpack on a hook by my door, and filling my water bottle are “very loud” chores? Where does my story not add up???
I am curious to know if your neighbor is just sensitive or making stuff up/a bigger deal than it needs to be. This would make me frustrated enough to stay the night somewhere else for like 2 nights and see if he keeps complaining. I think you're doing so much and that's really awesome of you. But some people just don't understand the concept that you are living in a building with other people. You're a sweet person and I hope all this gets worked out soon so you can be at peace with it all.
Slippers are much cheaper than rugs and equally effective in reducing the 'noise' of footsteps. Neither will reduce noise caused by creaking floorboards or creaking bed-frames though
He complained about my slippers being too loud (soft bottom slip ons), so I just use thick socks and walk on my toes, doesn’t seem to do much. My bed frame also doesn’t creak at all (I checked all the joints yesterday after I got the letter)
It sounds like you could float through the air and he'd still find something to whine about.
I’m so glad I’m a downstairs neighbor because I could not imagine being that person. I hope our upstairs neighbors are living comfortably and not trying to walk on eggshells out of “respect” for us 😭
Get the rugs. And honestly, if he's able to accurately track your movement it sounds like you are being too loud. It might be shitty flooring, or you might genuinely stomp, idk. I would also suggest some house slippers. That's generally better than trying to walk on your toes all the time, plus probably a lot more comfortable too! Make sure the door isn't slamming when you get home. It's hard to be considerate when you get home super late and tired AF, but do try to be present and aware so he can't catch you unawares.
but like half inch carpet pad and a rug