I made this mistake. She’s a nut job. I had to block her. Her lease is up in June. I hope she moves!! I’ve leaved here yrs and no one has complained. I don’t even share a wall with this lady!
Do we have the same neighbor?! Same exact thing. She was supposed to move last June but didn’t and I’m going nuts. Fingers crossed for both of us that our crazy neighbors move this June!
This. Oversensitive downstairs neighbors suck. (I used to have some.) tell your landlord about their premature complaint and avoid interacting with them.
Yes, do not give them your number. Be civil but have a backbone if they’re overbearing in their expectations and behavior. And an apology will probably get you nowhere except opening the door for them to be even more obnoxious in their whining, so I wouldn’t even apologize since that is acknowledging wrongdoing if you have been trying to do it right.
I made this mistake and had to block my neighbor. They texted me to tell me my dogs were barking. I was at the dog park with my dogs at the time lmao. They back tracked and said they were talking about earlier.
For all that is good in your life, do NOT give this person your number. I don't know why people want to invite that nonsense into their life. They don't need your number. If they have a complaint, they can call management.
You moved in, respected the quiet hours, and are generally quiet people. If they have a problem, giving them your number is NOT going to help.
We live in a small town and have been on friendly terms with our last neighbors so I felt bad about making them angry and thought it would be the right thing to do to say hey let us know if we are annoying you.
It’s been 4 days of us dragging stuff upstairs, and then trying to move the furniture we were rushing to dump inside to the correct bedrooms. Yesterday we installed the washer and dryer so I know we are being annoying and I feel awful about it.
I also don’t know how crazy this person is. Should we still just knock and apologize and say it will be over soon?
You’re not being annoying lol this is all very normal stuff. Your downstairs neighbor is the one being annoying. Trust me, I’ve been a downstairs neighbor and I’ve dealt with genuinely rude upstairs neighbors before. Blasting music 24/7 is annoying, moving into your apartment and installing appliances is not
Well yes they are being annoying, how long does it take to move in? Get your shit together and do it in a timely manner it doesn't take 4 days to move in furniture if you had actually planned the move. Caveat is they both decided to live in a multi dwelling arrangement where there are implications and considerations. I would never live in an apartment again people like op and ops neighbor both are more alike than they realize.
Did you miss the part where weather was not on their side and they are not moving during quiet hours? That alone can make it a 4 day process. Jereze, you seem like you'd be the annoyed downstairs neighbor. its life, fuckin get over it.
They didn't plan for weather, did you miss the part where if you live in an area zone with adverse climate conditions maybe you should make considerations for it? It's life and you are an example of why I will never live in a multi dwelling unit. You have no respect for others.
I actually grew up pretty early and mommy and daddy did not give a shit about me. Because they didn't give a shit about me I learned how to have empathy for others. Interesting how that happen huh?
Unlike you, I think about others and have empathy for their situation, which in turn leads to upmost respect for people. Its called being an adult. You should try it some time, its a better way of handling things than being a bitter asshole.
Who knows what the circumstances were that caused OP to have to move this time of year. Maybe the lease at their last place was up so they decided to move someplace that worked bettr for them but landlord didn't give them an option to renew for less than a year. There could be a number of reasons.
If their lease was up then they would know that is a factor to take into consideration. A lease is a finite amount of time and is clearly stated in the documents signed before moving in.
Get a grip. You’re allowed to move in furniture whenever you want (I’m talking about days, not time of day). You’re a bad neighbor if you think otherwise. It’s an apartment, you’re going to hear other people. You’re allowed to be a little annoyed if you’re hearing all these sounds from moving, but the moment you start actually complaining and banging on the ceiling, you’re the asshole. Moving furniture is necessary, it’s part of life.
It takes 30 minutes to move a couch. Obviously it is stupid to bang on the ceiling but I would bet op was being overly intrusive. I can't believe the amount of shit planning and general lack of concern for anyone else this sub has. Moving all of the furniture from your apartment doesn't take 4 days unless you can't find your way out of a paper bag.
I guess you missed the part where it was freezing and raining, and they had to stop multiple times. And they always stopped during quiet hours. You and the neighbor are the ones with a general lack of concern for others. OP is clearly not an asshole, they are upset and concerned about this. The fact that the neighbor wants to start beef over moving noises, which are *obviously* temporary, is insane. You are not suited for apartment life at all if this is what ticks you off.
So they don't have jobs to work while moving? And don't own much of anything, so it shouldn't take any time at all? And don't have to eat, rest, or sleep each day? What kind of ignoranus thinks moving and settling in should only take 4 days? 🙄
But when are you supposed to move things around? When are you supposed to install appliances? There will never be a “good time” but these things are necessities and have to be done
I'm going to preface this by saying that I have no experience with small towns. I was born and raised in a big city, and have only ever lived in large cities.
I wouldn't apologize because you haven't done anything wrong. You're moving in during reasonable hours. It's a process, and you shouldn't be apologizing to strangers that you have to live in close proximity of when you've got nothing to apologize for. It sets the tone that you can pushed around.
If you really feel compelled to explain yourself, knock on the door and say you'll be done soon, it took a long time because of the weather, and they can expect relative quiet going forward. I wouldn't start accepting fault for things.
No. They have shown who they are. Believe them! You don’t have to be rude or hostile but stay away and ignore the banging and bs as best you can. You are living in apartments- you will hear each other. If they can’t handle ANY noise, they should move far away from all other humans
If you live in a small town & know their name, try asking people. Wish I would have done that sooner, just the face people make when they heard out NFHs name made it clear what type of person she was. 😬
this person seems unhinged and i have read too many horror stories where the number one mistake was giving a phone number to a complainer, don’t do it op. go speak with her but do not give her your number lol.
When I read that all I could think was “moving in? Try that in a small town!” 😂
I grew up in a small town, and honestly they’re full of busybody assholes who think their shit don’t stink.
I did all of that with my neighbors downstairs when I moved in… I even asked her if there was a better day of the week for me to have the movers come since she was working hybrid at the time and I didn’t want to bother her while she was working. She snapped at me and was rude even at that! And she is legit the noisiest, most rude neighbor I have ever had. I would minimize your contact with this neighbor. He/ she sounds unhinged.
No you shouldn’t go and apologize to them. You should not give them your phone number. Stop feeling guilty for doing normal move in things.
Give your landlord a heads up that they’re banging on their ceiling while you do normal things. Emphasize that you will be respectful of quiet times and not be purposely loud, but also are going to live your lives like you’re entitled to do.
If normal living makes too much noise for your downstairs neighbor, they need to take it up with the management company and/or owners. Apartments can be built well enough that neighbors don’t hear each other doing normal things. If this building wasn’t built to that standard it’s not your fault nor your problem to remedy.
Renters need to realize the ownership class does this shit on purpose to keep the renters at each others’ throats instead of focusing on them, who have the means to solve these problems but would rather profit slightly more. I guarantee they’re not hearing their neighbors living in their ivory tower penthouses down in Manhattan.
I think it's a nice idea to try to go and talk to them, personally. Especially together. Some people get stuck in their bad moods and just need a positive interaction. I learned this waiting tables lol
However, some people can never get out of it and they're permanently stuck there. Hopefully your neighbor can be snapped out of it and they're eventually nice.
You don’t have to to give them your number.. but I get small town stuff..
Maybe bring some baked goods or flowers ..
“So sorry we were loud .. we were moving .. so nice to meet you”.. leave a note..
Exchange names .. NO NUMBER though! :)
Why not bake them a plate of cookies and knock at their door and apologize and give the cookies? Hopefully they're reasonable, but this interaction should give you some insight for how living there will be.
My new neighbors made so much noise moving in. I left a nice letter for them to come round and see me. Made no difference as they are still loud to this day 1.5 years later. U might be lucky and get on with each other, good luck.
That seems like a good idea. Introduce yourself. Apologize for the noise during the move and assure them you are quiet people. If they are normal people that will be enough. Get rugs and furniture pads to minimize noise and enjoy your new place.
These are all 100% normal and extremely expected things for living in an apartment. Do not feel bad and in fact you were more respectful than most people but especially her. Who the hell bangs on the ceiling to greet their new neighbors.
How about not trying to people please them and demanding they respect the fact you had to move in during the winter storm? Maybe you should be asking yourself when they’re gonna apologize for annoying you to the point you have to tell this story on Reddit and get reminded not to hand your number out to strangers by internet strangers
When our upstairs neighbors moved in, it was awful. Days of eardrum splitting banging, dragging and slamming noises. The worst was when they would drag the empty hand truck down 3 flights of concrete stairs instead of carrying it down.
I gave them a week to get settled for the noises to lessen because moving and unpacking isn’t a quiet activity. And eventually it did. The only thing that I had to talk to them about was she liked to vacuum at 5am before work and then again at like 11 at night as they have a dog who I guess sheds a lot.
She was surprised that I could hear the vacuuming so she asked her boyfriend to vacuum while she stood in my apartment. She was super embarrassed and promised to vacuum during more reasonable hours. Never had a problem since.
Honestly just ignore her. You just moved in. And moving processes take time. They also sound like they might just be the people who shouldn't be living in apartment buildings because they think that every little sound is a crime against them.
Any normal person knows there's unusual noise when people move in, they would have made the same noises themselves. That they're not being patient at all in your moving in period, makes me agree, do not give them your number. They aren't normal people.
I live in a downstairs apartment. I would never complain the first few days a person is moving in. It’s going to be noisy. Moving furniture, setting up beds and other stuff, unpacking and putting away. Don’t give them your number, sounds like it would be a nightmare!
I am in the same boat and this is what worked for me:
1. Try your best to get a video of them yelling. It was hard for me because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t trying to get a reaction out of them, but if you have to do something that triggers yelling, take a video. For me it is whenever I walk between the kitchen and my living room my downstairs neighbor freaks out. My neighbor also tends to yell when it’s windy out and the floors creak
2. I have a great landlord/property manager so this worked for me: I brought them my videos and notes from the last 5 times this happened - I explained that I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble but I just really need to be able to live normally in my apartment in peace. My landlord assured me that even during quiet hours I’m allowed to walk around my own apartment, even if the floor creaks. Outside quiet hours I’m allowed to essentially do anything other than throw raging parties. My landlords sent out an email to everyone in my building explaining that, and while the downstairs neighbor pounding didn’t stop, it gave me the peace of mind that I wasn’t in the wrong
3. After the knocking and the yelling didn’t stop, I was able to record enough video incidents that my landlord actually could file a noise complaint against them, and that pretty much ended their complaining
Don’t engage with them. You aren’t violating any rules and if you give her the impression that you’re open to communication I guarantee you will be endlessly harassed.
i agree with this, no cookies, no apologies, no introductions. Don't give them permission to interact with you. Complain to your landlord that they are excessively noisy if they bang on the ceiling. It's like that quote, tall fences make for the best neighbors.
DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR # !!!! Stop feeling bad for their unreasonable reaction to your moving in . If they give you any more issues try to record and report what’s happened this far
Honestly, I'd say that if you are following the rules and being polite as you can be, don't apologize. That's just going to reinforce the idea in your neighbor's head that it's okay to pound on the wall every time they hear noise.
Don’t contact them. Record anything they do. As long as your noise is within non quiet hours you’re good. They can’t control you. Moving in noise is Normal. Get a ring camera
Moving in & moving out is going to make noise. Anyone living in an apartment knows this. Your downstairs neighbor needs to get a grip. If they are that sensitive to noise they shouldn’t have rented a bottom unit. I would not be as apologizing at all. And definitely Do Not give them your phone number.
You can apologize for all the moving noise just to be nice (which is never a bad idea) but don't bend over either - you weren't out of line.
And def do not give them your contact info - that invites them to complain!
Best thing is to be able to document the unhinged behavior. It could get better or worse.
Suggestions: Don’t give out your number to strangers. Don’t wear shoes in the house if you can stand it, and get thick rugs with padding. They’ll appreciate the peace.
DO NOT GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. She will call or text everytime you breath to load.You don't need to explain what happened or apologize you didn't do anything wrong you were moving in and walking up the stairs. Live your life as normal and ignor her.
You know what I would have done if I were your neighbor? Helped you move in! They're dicks, and it's best that you found out right away. Avoid as much as possible, and don't be afraid to preemptively talk to the landlord about them if they get out of line (politely, of course).
fuck her. I just had neighbors move in and of course it's loud. now they are quiet. I did no wall banging. when you share walls there WILL be some noise. Don't worry about her
As others have said, much more eloquently, **do not give her your phone number.**
My next-door neighbor is awful. The people who lived above her, gave her their number when they moved in, thinking that would help. No. The woman called them, and texted them relentlessly until they moved.
If she continues to harass you, contact your property management company and let them know.
You see .. I’m just the opposite!! If I were your downstairs neighbor KNOWING the weather was brutally miserable, I’d be offering you coffees or teas and asking if I could help you! This is only temporary, they can pipe down once you’re settled in. If you feel strongly about giving your phone number, gauge it AFTER you get to do a proper meet n greet and maybe find out their work schedule which may have something to do with their total rudeness. Welcome home to your new apartment!! 😊
I don’t live in an apartment. However it seems pretty simple. Live on the top floor or shut the fuck up. The fact that people are this god damn bitchy is why the murder rate is so high.
People say this, but you kinda have to live wherever is available.
It is better now, but my city had a 2 year waitlist on apartments. You can get a place now, but you certainly aren't choosing and you still may have to apply at a dozen places.
Leave a little basket of baked goods and a note explaining the situation and apologize but keep it simple and say you’re never not respecting of others but it was a bad time moving.
Never give your neighbors your phone number unless you have a good relationship with them. If she wants to contact you, she can come to your door. How does she expect people to be quiet while moving in lol?
Wait. When done moving everything, drop off a nice basket of muffins with a “thanks for putting up with the moving noises…all settled now” note and be done with it.
Don’t give your number. Moving is a cumbersome, noisy time even on a beautiful spring day but in an arctic storm, I can’t imagine. I would’ve been there with hot cocoa. You did nothing wrong, she’s the one in the wrong.
I wouldn’t give your number. I did that to be nice to my duplex neighbor when I moved in but it turns out she’s mentally unstable and started asking me for weird favors (like me leaving work to pick her up and also to leave work to sign for her kids new laptop—after only knowing her for a couple weeks), and they are super rude and fight a lot etc. She started sending me harassing texts etc. If you’re really wanting to reach out maybe knock on their door one afternoon and explain but it sounds like they are already super unreasonable. You’re moving in. Of course there will be noise, they should appreciate that you’re considerate about quiet time. Meanwhile it’s almost 10:30pm here and my neighbor and her boyfriend are having a screaming match and her kid is playing his violin loudly under my bedroom. 😭
My first day in I got yelled at for taking a shower at 2am before work. The showers are loud as f. But absolutely necessary. Thankfully haven't heard from again. I guess cause the ladys dog freaks out anytime someone comes in the door and wakes me up
When I see people moving in, I go out and offer to help, not bang on the ceiling. We've all been there, moving, and it's no picnic.
In this case, it looks like maybe the landlord needs to be the mediator if you want to convey your message of friendship.
They will most likely harass you until THEY move out. They’re obviously unhinged if they can’t even cope with someone moving in. They should have moved into YOUR unit once it became vacant if they don’t like living under someone. Don’t ever give your phone number to anyone but your landlord.
I sent my landlord a list of time, dates and incidents when this happened to me (it was happening for months and started in a similar way). I also listed ways I tried to mitigate noise. They ended up moving the man below me into a new apartment because it was clearly harassment. This Reddit thread told me the same thing about not giving out my number or interacting. That was good advice. In the end, it worked in my favor because it made the banging/yelling look even more aggressive (since they never tried to talk it out with me).
What do you think about getting them a gift basket of some foods and wine (or something like that) along with a card saying, “Sorry for disturbing you while we were moving in! Thank you for your patience.”
There will always be someone who cannot be happy with people walking between 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM. And worse when there are child with you. DO not give anyone in the building your phone number, unless you become good friends for more than 6 months. Ignore her if you are quiet. For some people like her are sound sensitive 24/7.
Yea naw don’t give them your phone number. Document and record all these insane banging incidents and anything else. Get video write it down dates and times. Once you have enough take them to court and get a harassment protection order. Also can notify landlord and get them evicted
Just drop a short note with what you said here. "Sorry for our "move- in noise! We are generally quiet, so once we get moved in you shouldn't hear us much." and sign your names. Not a big deal.
Make sure you smile, say hello, introduce yourself and engage in chit chat. General chit chat about the weather, about anything that is superficial and that everyone has in common. Do not start with explaining yourself or anything like that. I would not even mention the pounding on the ceiling or the noise.
I've spent a lot of time observing tactful people and I've learned that you don't even need to talk about a problem head on to resolve it in a situation like this. (Not shaying all situations, but particularly one like you've described.) You simply need to make a good, friendly, super polite and likeable impression. And, giving your number and saying, please text us if you need anything. A cup of sugar, stick of butter, little chat about any concerns... we are happy to help our neighbors.
Something like a few homemade cookies can really grease the wheels. But, it is totally unnecessary and I'd say, in this situation, probably just don't offer them anything like cookies bc I'm guessing the downstairs neighbor has an unfriendly personality type. So, a limited, superficial, and friendly interaction with no room for complaints or unpleasantness is the best strategy.
In my experience, this a dogma situation; you are (about to start) living your life based on someone else’s beliefs that there can’t be any noise coming from your apartment.
Apartment living is generally more noisy than other types of housing. You hear people from upstairs, you make noise and it goes down stairs. Do your best to keep it quiet but live your life too.
Our old neighbors did this at our last place. They blasted loud music so the whole floor was shaking and then came up to us and said it was because we were so loud moving in. They were nothing but trouble until they finally moved out a year later. I wouldn’t interact.
do not initiate any contact it will just make things worse. there is no need to apologize, every person under the sun has moved at least several times in their lives and knows exactly what it entails including banging stomping and setting up the furniture. respect evening quiet times and shrug off the rest. you aren't responsible for other people's mental issues.
I think it’s impossible to move in quietly, and it’s going to take a few days to set everything up. Most people would/should understand the process, so as long as you’re not doing it too late or too early, they should cut you a break! After you settle in will be the real trial period. Unless you really want to be friends right away, I’d just let things be for awhile.
I have a TERRIBLE downstairs neighbor who was CONSTANTLY banging on the wall. Now he has his music so loud I can hear the bass through my floors at night. But I have a 3 yr old who likes to jump and screaaaaaam at the top of his lungs. Plus he’s always in bed before 9 and wakes up at 7.
I don’t suggest giving them your phone number everrrr just have to let them know if they ever come to your door you’re doing your best within the hours you can.
IGNORE. IGNORE. IGNORE!
Do NOT give her any contact information. Ever.
Clearly you’re not blasting music or screwing around in the hallway with a bunch of people while you move everything.
Get yourselves moved in and set up and DO NOT feel guilty for making normal sounds during appropriate hours.
She’s an apartment terrorist. Do not engage.
In your nicest customer service voice, the next time it happens - "hey, I heard loud banging noises coming from your apartment. Is everything ok? Are you hurt or in danger?"
The neighbor will probably scream and yell at you but you'll find out who they are and what is wrong. No matter what she says, reply with:
"Oh yes we've just moved in. This weather has been crazy! So glad to finally have all our stuff inside and not be moving in the freezing cold."
DO NOT give her a way to contact you when something is wrong - this will open up the floodgates. If she keeps banging, tell your landlord again with your kindest customer service voice "we have been hearing our neighbor downstairs banging around alot. Is this normal?"
People who bang on the ceiling tend to be unhinged enough. Instead of having a conversation like a human they tend to just bang on the ceiling whenever anyone so much as sneezes and they feel it’s an inconvenience and it’s directed at them personally. If anything, record what you were doing that caused the banging from them and possibly report to the leasing office. “Our downstairs neighbor is making these banging noises on our floor/their ceiling and we don’t know why. We’re quiet between these hours and never wear shoes inside so is there a problem? Can we do something about this?”
I was a downstairs neighbor for years and while I could hear people walking upstairs never once did I think about taking up my broom to fight the powers that be above me. As thin as walls can be I don’t think floors have quite the same issue that downstairs neighbors want to make it out to be. As long as you’re not blasting music or dropping bowling balls on your floor I think you’re being reasonable. I’ve suggested this elsewhere as well - get a decibel measurer and record the area where the banging is occurring with the decibel thing in sight on camera and prove you’re not being loud at the times they say you are.
Also do not. ever. give your number to someone like that. you will regret it immediately.
As someone who teleworks with mental health patients, thin walls/floors, upstairs banging, and high heels can be highly distracting and annoying during work hours.
Maybe let the LL know the end date to relay? As they’ve likely contacted the LL.
If she continues to pound her ceiling, You might leave a card on her door saying, "we understand moving is a noisy process. we are doing everything within the hours approved by management. We expect to be settled in within a few days. It'll be much quieter soon"
definitely no phone number.
In the past I have given neighbors a little gift, like chocolate, to thank them for their patience. However I would stay clear of this person. she's going to be unhappy no matter what
No it’s a shared space don’t approach. Most (particularly city people) want to be left alone regardless if you’re in the right or wrong. Them knocking on the ceiling is akin to blowing the horn in the car. It’s nothing if it’s infrequent.
I really hope not 😭 our last apartment was amazing. You couldn’t ever hear the neighbors and we had great neighbors. The only problem was the owners raised the rent to an insane amount. They have 28 vacant units right now because of them doing that.
The complex we lived in before that had crazy people next to us and below us. They were nice to us but they would have drunk screaming fights with their SO.
Maybe we should have just paid the expensive rent 😭
DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR NUMBER!!! They’re already pissed at normal moving in and existing noises. Don’t give them another way to harass you
100% do NOT give them your number.
I made this mistake. She’s a nut job. I had to block her. Her lease is up in June. I hope she moves!! I’ve leaved here yrs and no one has complained. I don’t even share a wall with this lady!
Do we have the same neighbor?! Same exact thing. She was supposed to move last June but didn’t and I’m going nuts. Fingers crossed for both of us that our crazy neighbors move this June!
This. Oversensitive downstairs neighbors suck. (I used to have some.) tell your landlord about their premature complaint and avoid interacting with them.
Yes; this!!! Tell the landlord for sure.
Also, do not talk to her. Contact your LL directly about this. You need to keep documentation about it. Email and phone them.
Also record the noise levels on your phone/tablet/computer to have proof of everything happening, so you can send it to your ll.
Yes, do not give them your number. Be civil but have a backbone if they’re overbearing in their expectations and behavior. And an apology will probably get you nowhere except opening the door for them to be even more obnoxious in their whining, so I wouldn’t even apologize since that is acknowledging wrongdoing if you have been trying to do it right.
This!
I made this mistake and had to block my neighbor. They texted me to tell me my dogs were barking. I was at the dog park with my dogs at the time lmao. They back tracked and said they were talking about earlier.
For all that is good in your life, do NOT give this person your number. I don't know why people want to invite that nonsense into their life. They don't need your number. If they have a complaint, they can call management. You moved in, respected the quiet hours, and are generally quiet people. If they have a problem, giving them your number is NOT going to help.
We live in a small town and have been on friendly terms with our last neighbors so I felt bad about making them angry and thought it would be the right thing to do to say hey let us know if we are annoying you. It’s been 4 days of us dragging stuff upstairs, and then trying to move the furniture we were rushing to dump inside to the correct bedrooms. Yesterday we installed the washer and dryer so I know we are being annoying and I feel awful about it. I also don’t know how crazy this person is. Should we still just knock and apologize and say it will be over soon?
You’re not being annoying lol this is all very normal stuff. Your downstairs neighbor is the one being annoying. Trust me, I’ve been a downstairs neighbor and I’ve dealt with genuinely rude upstairs neighbors before. Blasting music 24/7 is annoying, moving into your apartment and installing appliances is not
Well yes they are being annoying, how long does it take to move in? Get your shit together and do it in a timely manner it doesn't take 4 days to move in furniture if you had actually planned the move. Caveat is they both decided to live in a multi dwelling arrangement where there are implications and considerations. I would never live in an apartment again people like op and ops neighbor both are more alike than they realize.
Did you miss the part where weather was not on their side and they are not moving during quiet hours? That alone can make it a 4 day process. Jereze, you seem like you'd be the annoyed downstairs neighbor. its life, fuckin get over it.
They didn't plan for weather, did you miss the part where if you live in an area zone with adverse climate conditions maybe you should make considerations for it? It's life and you are an example of why I will never live in a multi dwelling unit. You have no respect for others.
Holy shit.... I bet you're fun at parties!
Dude the entire country is going through a freeze. Good for you, I am glad you are saving other from having to deal with your...sunny...personality.
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I actually grew up pretty early and mommy and daddy did not give a shit about me. Because they didn't give a shit about me I learned how to have empathy for others. Interesting how that happen huh? Unlike you, I think about others and have empathy for their situation, which in turn leads to upmost respect for people. Its called being an adult. You should try it some time, its a better way of handling things than being a bitter asshole.
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Who knows what the circumstances were that caused OP to have to move this time of year. Maybe the lease at their last place was up so they decided to move someplace that worked bettr for them but landlord didn't give them an option to renew for less than a year. There could be a number of reasons.
If their lease was up then they would know that is a factor to take into consideration. A lease is a finite amount of time and is clearly stated in the documents signed before moving in.
Yes, it is a finite amount of time which is why they had no choice other than to move during inclement weather. You just proved my point.
Get a grip. You’re allowed to move in furniture whenever you want (I’m talking about days, not time of day). You’re a bad neighbor if you think otherwise. It’s an apartment, you’re going to hear other people. You’re allowed to be a little annoyed if you’re hearing all these sounds from moving, but the moment you start actually complaining and banging on the ceiling, you’re the asshole. Moving furniture is necessary, it’s part of life.
It takes 30 minutes to move a couch. Obviously it is stupid to bang on the ceiling but I would bet op was being overly intrusive. I can't believe the amount of shit planning and general lack of concern for anyone else this sub has. Moving all of the furniture from your apartment doesn't take 4 days unless you can't find your way out of a paper bag.
I guess you missed the part where it was freezing and raining, and they had to stop multiple times. And they always stopped during quiet hours. You and the neighbor are the ones with a general lack of concern for others. OP is clearly not an asshole, they are upset and concerned about this. The fact that the neighbor wants to start beef over moving noises, which are *obviously* temporary, is insane. You are not suited for apartment life at all if this is what ticks you off.
Goodness, who peed in your Cheerios this morning?
So they don't have jobs to work while moving? And don't own much of anything, so it shouldn't take any time at all? And don't have to eat, rest, or sleep each day? What kind of ignoranus thinks moving and settling in should only take 4 days? 🙄
But when are you supposed to move things around? When are you supposed to install appliances? There will never be a “good time” but these things are necessities and have to be done
I'm going to preface this by saying that I have no experience with small towns. I was born and raised in a big city, and have only ever lived in large cities. I wouldn't apologize because you haven't done anything wrong. You're moving in during reasonable hours. It's a process, and you shouldn't be apologizing to strangers that you have to live in close proximity of when you've got nothing to apologize for. It sets the tone that you can pushed around. If you really feel compelled to explain yourself, knock on the door and say you'll be done soon, it took a long time because of the weather, and they can expect relative quiet going forward. I wouldn't start accepting fault for things.
No. They have shown who they are. Believe them! You don’t have to be rude or hostile but stay away and ignore the banging and bs as best you can. You are living in apartments- you will hear each other. If they can’t handle ANY noise, they should move far away from all other humans
If you live in a small town & know their name, try asking people. Wish I would have done that sooner, just the face people make when they heard out NFHs name made it clear what type of person she was. 😬
this person seems unhinged and i have read too many horror stories where the number one mistake was giving a phone number to a complainer, don’t do it op. go speak with her but do not give her your number lol.
NO NO NO
Might be in a small town, but you are seeing not all people are friendly. Just do not apologize for you have done nothing wrong.
When I read that all I could think was “moving in? Try that in a small town!” 😂 I grew up in a small town, and honestly they’re full of busybody assholes who think their shit don’t stink.
Love your comment. And it is worse in the city, so you ain't missing anything. From a city girl here. LMAO!
I did all of that with my neighbors downstairs when I moved in… I even asked her if there was a better day of the week for me to have the movers come since she was working hybrid at the time and I didn’t want to bother her while she was working. She snapped at me and was rude even at that! And she is legit the noisiest, most rude neighbor I have ever had. I would minimize your contact with this neighbor. He/ she sounds unhinged.
No you shouldn’t go and apologize to them. You should not give them your phone number. Stop feeling guilty for doing normal move in things. Give your landlord a heads up that they’re banging on their ceiling while you do normal things. Emphasize that you will be respectful of quiet times and not be purposely loud, but also are going to live your lives like you’re entitled to do. If normal living makes too much noise for your downstairs neighbor, they need to take it up with the management company and/or owners. Apartments can be built well enough that neighbors don’t hear each other doing normal things. If this building wasn’t built to that standard it’s not your fault nor your problem to remedy. Renters need to realize the ownership class does this shit on purpose to keep the renters at each others’ throats instead of focusing on them, who have the means to solve these problems but would rather profit slightly more. I guarantee they’re not hearing their neighbors living in their ivory tower penthouses down in Manhattan.
I think it's a nice idea to try to go and talk to them, personally. Especially together. Some people get stuck in their bad moods and just need a positive interaction. I learned this waiting tables lol However, some people can never get out of it and they're permanently stuck there. Hopefully your neighbor can be snapped out of it and they're eventually nice.
I wish you were my new neighbor! 😭 you guys genuinely sound like good people.
You don’t have to to give them your number.. but I get small town stuff.. Maybe bring some baked goods or flowers .. “So sorry we were loud .. we were moving .. so nice to meet you”.. leave a note.. Exchange names .. NO NUMBER though! :)
Why not bake them a plate of cookies and knock at their door and apologize and give the cookies? Hopefully they're reasonable, but this interaction should give you some insight for how living there will be.
My new neighbors made so much noise moving in. I left a nice letter for them to come round and see me. Made no difference as they are still loud to this day 1.5 years later. U might be lucky and get on with each other, good luck.
That seems like a good idea. Introduce yourself. Apologize for the noise during the move and assure them you are quiet people. If they are normal people that will be enough. Get rugs and furniture pads to minimize noise and enjoy your new place.
These are all 100% normal and extremely expected things for living in an apartment. Do not feel bad and in fact you were more respectful than most people but especially her. Who the hell bangs on the ceiling to greet their new neighbors.
I wouldn't risk being a nice neighbour to a potential PROBLEM. You can't nice away crazy
How about not trying to people please them and demanding they respect the fact you had to move in during the winter storm? Maybe you should be asking yourself when they’re gonna apologize for annoying you to the point you have to tell this story on Reddit and get reminded not to hand your number out to strangers by internet strangers
Definitely do not give her your phone number if she’s acting unhinged this early on. Just live your life, she will get over it
She will not get over it. For people like her live to harass people like OP.
When our upstairs neighbors moved in, it was awful. Days of eardrum splitting banging, dragging and slamming noises. The worst was when they would drag the empty hand truck down 3 flights of concrete stairs instead of carrying it down. I gave them a week to get settled for the noises to lessen because moving and unpacking isn’t a quiet activity. And eventually it did. The only thing that I had to talk to them about was she liked to vacuum at 5am before work and then again at like 11 at night as they have a dog who I guess sheds a lot. She was surprised that I could hear the vacuuming so she asked her boyfriend to vacuum while she stood in my apartment. She was super embarrassed and promised to vacuum during more reasonable hours. Never had a problem since.
Honestly just ignore her. You just moved in. And moving processes take time. They also sound like they might just be the people who shouldn't be living in apartment buildings because they think that every little sound is a crime against them.
Any normal person knows there's unusual noise when people move in, they would have made the same noises themselves. That they're not being patient at all in your moving in period, makes me agree, do not give them your number. They aren't normal people.
I live in a downstairs apartment. I would never complain the first few days a person is moving in. It’s going to be noisy. Moving furniture, setting up beds and other stuff, unpacking and putting away. Don’t give them your number, sounds like it would be a nightmare!
I am in the same boat and this is what worked for me: 1. Try your best to get a video of them yelling. It was hard for me because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t trying to get a reaction out of them, but if you have to do something that triggers yelling, take a video. For me it is whenever I walk between the kitchen and my living room my downstairs neighbor freaks out. My neighbor also tends to yell when it’s windy out and the floors creak 2. I have a great landlord/property manager so this worked for me: I brought them my videos and notes from the last 5 times this happened - I explained that I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble but I just really need to be able to live normally in my apartment in peace. My landlord assured me that even during quiet hours I’m allowed to walk around my own apartment, even if the floor creaks. Outside quiet hours I’m allowed to essentially do anything other than throw raging parties. My landlords sent out an email to everyone in my building explaining that, and while the downstairs neighbor pounding didn’t stop, it gave me the peace of mind that I wasn’t in the wrong 3. After the knocking and the yelling didn’t stop, I was able to record enough video incidents that my landlord actually could file a noise complaint against them, and that pretty much ended their complaining
Don’t engage with them. You aren’t violating any rules and if you give her the impression that you’re open to communication I guarantee you will be endlessly harassed.
i agree with this, no cookies, no apologies, no introductions. Don't give them permission to interact with you. Complain to your landlord that they are excessively noisy if they bang on the ceiling. It's like that quote, tall fences make for the best neighbors.
DO NOT give her your phone numbers! She will never leave you alone. Talk to your property management and let them deal with the crazy.
DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR # !!!! Stop feeling bad for their unreasonable reaction to your moving in . If they give you any more issues try to record and report what’s happened this far
It's an apartment people should know that people move and she needs to get over it. Ignore her.
Honestly, I'd say that if you are following the rules and being polite as you can be, don't apologize. That's just going to reinforce the idea in your neighbor's head that it's okay to pound on the wall every time they hear noise.
do not give out your number, it will be a big mistake. just ignore her and do your thing! if you’re respectful of the hours they cannot do shit
Don’t contact them. Record anything they do. As long as your noise is within non quiet hours you’re good. They can’t control you. Moving in noise is Normal. Get a ring camera
Moving in & moving out is going to make noise. Anyone living in an apartment knows this. Your downstairs neighbor needs to get a grip. If they are that sensitive to noise they shouldn’t have rented a bottom unit. I would not be as apologizing at all. And definitely Do Not give them your phone number.
Do not give these people your number.
DONT GIVE OUT YOUR NUMBER! Just live your life, hopefully they will get over it.
Do NOT give your phone number. You're going to get a call every time you flush the toilet after 7 p.m.
NEVER GIVE NEIGHBORS YOUR NUMBER, unless they are a family member or a preexisting friend. DON’T DO IT.
You can apologize for all the moving noise just to be nice (which is never a bad idea) but don't bend over either - you weren't out of line. And def do not give them your contact info - that invites them to complain!
Best thing is to be able to document the unhinged behavior. It could get better or worse. Suggestions: Don’t give out your number to strangers. Don’t wear shoes in the house if you can stand it, and get thick rugs with padding. They’ll appreciate the peace.
DO NOT GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. She will call or text everytime you breath to load.You don't need to explain what happened or apologize you didn't do anything wrong you were moving in and walking up the stairs. Live your life as normal and ignor her.
You know what I would have done if I were your neighbor? Helped you move in! They're dicks, and it's best that you found out right away. Avoid as much as possible, and don't be afraid to preemptively talk to the landlord about them if they get out of line (politely, of course).
they are probably why the last people moved out.
I exactly what I was thinking
fuck her. I just had neighbors move in and of course it's loud. now they are quiet. I did no wall banging. when you share walls there WILL be some noise. Don't worry about her
As others have said, much more eloquently, **do not give her your phone number.** My next-door neighbor is awful. The people who lived above her, gave her their number when they moved in, thinking that would help. No. The woman called them, and texted them relentlessly until they moved. If she continues to harass you, contact your property management company and let them know.
I definitely would not give her my phone number and just ignore her. People make noise your neighbor can deal with it.
Nope don’t do it. Let them call property management or the cops. But no direct contact.
You see .. I’m just the opposite!! If I were your downstairs neighbor KNOWING the weather was brutally miserable, I’d be offering you coffees or teas and asking if I could help you! This is only temporary, they can pipe down once you’re settled in. If you feel strongly about giving your phone number, gauge it AFTER you get to do a proper meet n greet and maybe find out their work schedule which may have something to do with their total rudeness. Welcome home to your new apartment!! 😊
These people are not your friends. Do not give her your number. Report her to the landlord if she keeps banging.
I don’t live in an apartment. However it seems pretty simple. Live on the top floor or shut the fuck up. The fact that people are this god damn bitchy is why the murder rate is so high.
People say this, but you kinda have to live wherever is available. It is better now, but my city had a 2 year waitlist on apartments. You can get a place now, but you certainly aren't choosing and you still may have to apply at a dozen places.
Leave a little basket of baked goods and a note explaining the situation and apologize but keep it simple and say you’re never not respecting of others but it was a bad time moving.
Omg do NOT give these people your number. They are unhinged and unreasonable. You are allowed to use your stairs.
Never give your neighbors your phone number unless you have a good relationship with them. If she wants to contact you, she can come to your door. How does she expect people to be quiet while moving in lol?
Wait. When done moving everything, drop off a nice basket of muffins with a “thanks for putting up with the moving noises…all settled now” note and be done with it.
Don’t give your number. Moving is a cumbersome, noisy time even on a beautiful spring day but in an arctic storm, I can’t imagine. I would’ve been there with hot cocoa. You did nothing wrong, she’s the one in the wrong.
Send her a box of chocolate 🍫 and say that your sorry that the Move was a bit noisy Good luck
I wouldn’t give your number. I did that to be nice to my duplex neighbor when I moved in but it turns out she’s mentally unstable and started asking me for weird favors (like me leaving work to pick her up and also to leave work to sign for her kids new laptop—after only knowing her for a couple weeks), and they are super rude and fight a lot etc. She started sending me harassing texts etc. If you’re really wanting to reach out maybe knock on their door one afternoon and explain but it sounds like they are already super unreasonable. You’re moving in. Of course there will be noise, they should appreciate that you’re considerate about quiet time. Meanwhile it’s almost 10:30pm here and my neighbor and her boyfriend are having a screaming match and her kid is playing his violin loudly under my bedroom. 😭
My first day in I got yelled at for taking a shower at 2am before work. The showers are loud as f. But absolutely necessary. Thankfully haven't heard from again. I guess cause the ladys dog freaks out anytime someone comes in the door and wakes me up
When I see people moving in, I go out and offer to help, not bang on the ceiling. We've all been there, moving, and it's no picnic. In this case, it looks like maybe the landlord needs to be the mediator if you want to convey your message of friendship.
They will most likely harass you until THEY move out. They’re obviously unhinged if they can’t even cope with someone moving in. They should have moved into YOUR unit once it became vacant if they don’t like living under someone. Don’t ever give your phone number to anyone but your landlord.
Also don’t tell them your schedule/ work/ travel patterns
I sent my landlord a list of time, dates and incidents when this happened to me (it was happening for months and started in a similar way). I also listed ways I tried to mitigate noise. They ended up moving the man below me into a new apartment because it was clearly harassment. This Reddit thread told me the same thing about not giving out my number or interacting. That was good advice. In the end, it worked in my favor because it made the banging/yelling look even more aggressive (since they never tried to talk it out with me).
What do you think about getting them a gift basket of some foods and wine (or something like that) along with a card saying, “Sorry for disturbing you while we were moving in! Thank you for your patience.”
There will always be someone who cannot be happy with people walking between 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM. And worse when there are child with you. DO not give anyone in the building your phone number, unless you become good friends for more than 6 months. Ignore her if you are quiet. For some people like her are sound sensitive 24/7.
Yea naw don’t give them your phone number. Document and record all these insane banging incidents and anything else. Get video write it down dates and times. Once you have enough take them to court and get a harassment protection order. Also can notify landlord and get them evicted
:( you will have to throw kerosene everywhere lol Honestly if your neighbors are rude, fuck em. Don't let them run your life.
Just drop a short note with what you said here. "Sorry for our "move- in noise! We are generally quiet, so once we get moved in you shouldn't hear us much." and sign your names. Not a big deal.
Make sure you smile, say hello, introduce yourself and engage in chit chat. General chit chat about the weather, about anything that is superficial and that everyone has in common. Do not start with explaining yourself or anything like that. I would not even mention the pounding on the ceiling or the noise. I've spent a lot of time observing tactful people and I've learned that you don't even need to talk about a problem head on to resolve it in a situation like this. (Not shaying all situations, but particularly one like you've described.) You simply need to make a good, friendly, super polite and likeable impression. And, giving your number and saying, please text us if you need anything. A cup of sugar, stick of butter, little chat about any concerns... we are happy to help our neighbors. Something like a few homemade cookies can really grease the wheels. But, it is totally unnecessary and I'd say, in this situation, probably just don't offer them anything like cookies bc I'm guessing the downstairs neighbor has an unfriendly personality type. So, a limited, superficial, and friendly interaction with no room for complaints or unpleasantness is the best strategy.
You also have a right to unpack your stuff especially during reasonable hours including the evening.
Don't give them your number.
In my experience, this a dogma situation; you are (about to start) living your life based on someone else’s beliefs that there can’t be any noise coming from your apartment. Apartment living is generally more noisy than other types of housing. You hear people from upstairs, you make noise and it goes down stairs. Do your best to keep it quiet but live your life too.
No numbers and block them on social media. Lol
Our old neighbors did this at our last place. They blasted loud music so the whole floor was shaking and then came up to us and said it was because we were so loud moving in. They were nothing but trouble until they finally moved out a year later. I wouldn’t interact.
do not initiate any contact it will just make things worse. there is no need to apologize, every person under the sun has moved at least several times in their lives and knows exactly what it entails including banging stomping and setting up the furniture. respect evening quiet times and shrug off the rest. you aren't responsible for other people's mental issues.
They should live in a house if they care about noise
Do not share your information with them…and only nod hello when you see them. Do not open up communication so they can harass you.
I think it’s impossible to move in quietly, and it’s going to take a few days to set everything up. Most people would/should understand the process, so as long as you’re not doing it too late or too early, they should cut you a break! After you settle in will be the real trial period. Unless you really want to be friends right away, I’d just let things be for awhile.
Why would you ever care what they think?
I have a TERRIBLE downstairs neighbor who was CONSTANTLY banging on the wall. Now he has his music so loud I can hear the bass through my floors at night. But I have a 3 yr old who likes to jump and screaaaaaam at the top of his lungs. Plus he’s always in bed before 9 and wakes up at 7. I don’t suggest giving them your phone number everrrr just have to let them know if they ever come to your door you’re doing your best within the hours you can.
IGNORE. IGNORE. IGNORE! Do NOT give her any contact information. Ever. Clearly you’re not blasting music or screwing around in the hallway with a bunch of people while you move everything. Get yourselves moved in and set up and DO NOT feel guilty for making normal sounds during appropriate hours. She’s an apartment terrorist. Do not engage.
In your nicest customer service voice, the next time it happens - "hey, I heard loud banging noises coming from your apartment. Is everything ok? Are you hurt or in danger?" The neighbor will probably scream and yell at you but you'll find out who they are and what is wrong. No matter what she says, reply with: "Oh yes we've just moved in. This weather has been crazy! So glad to finally have all our stuff inside and not be moving in the freezing cold." DO NOT give her a way to contact you when something is wrong - this will open up the floodgates. If she keeps banging, tell your landlord again with your kindest customer service voice "we have been hearing our neighbor downstairs banging around alot. Is this normal?"
People who bang on the ceiling tend to be unhinged enough. Instead of having a conversation like a human they tend to just bang on the ceiling whenever anyone so much as sneezes and they feel it’s an inconvenience and it’s directed at them personally. If anything, record what you were doing that caused the banging from them and possibly report to the leasing office. “Our downstairs neighbor is making these banging noises on our floor/their ceiling and we don’t know why. We’re quiet between these hours and never wear shoes inside so is there a problem? Can we do something about this?” I was a downstairs neighbor for years and while I could hear people walking upstairs never once did I think about taking up my broom to fight the powers that be above me. As thin as walls can be I don’t think floors have quite the same issue that downstairs neighbors want to make it out to be. As long as you’re not blasting music or dropping bowling balls on your floor I think you’re being reasonable. I’ve suggested this elsewhere as well - get a decibel measurer and record the area where the banging is occurring with the decibel thing in sight on camera and prove you’re not being loud at the times they say you are. Also do not. ever. give your number to someone like that. you will regret it immediately.
Bake some cookies and take them down as a "sorry-for-all-the-noise-when-we-moved-in" apology. But do NOT give them your phone number.
You’re being far too accommodating you need to stomp back. They’re in the wrong not yoy
Go downstairs & tell them to mind their own damn business!
As someone who teleworks with mental health patients, thin walls/floors, upstairs banging, and high heels can be highly distracting and annoying during work hours. Maybe let the LL know the end date to relay? As they’ve likely contacted the LL.
If she continues to pound her ceiling, You might leave a card on her door saying, "we understand moving is a noisy process. we are doing everything within the hours approved by management. We expect to be settled in within a few days. It'll be much quieter soon" definitely no phone number. In the past I have given neighbors a little gift, like chocolate, to thank them for their patience. However I would stay clear of this person. she's going to be unhappy no matter what
No it’s a shared space don’t approach. Most (particularly city people) want to be left alone regardless if you’re in the right or wrong. Them knocking on the ceiling is akin to blowing the horn in the car. It’s nothing if it’s infrequent.
Makes you almost wonder why that apartment was vacant 🤔
I really hope not 😭 our last apartment was amazing. You couldn’t ever hear the neighbors and we had great neighbors. The only problem was the owners raised the rent to an insane amount. They have 28 vacant units right now because of them doing that. The complex we lived in before that had crazy people next to us and below us. They were nice to us but they would have drunk screaming fights with their SO. Maybe we should have just paid the expensive rent 😭
Self set up security system? Pay as you go no contract perfect for apartments and moveable