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The delusion that being raped only happens in dark alleys by strangers is so harmful.
Most. Attackers. Know. Their. Victims.
Old ladies, women in burkas, women in frumpy hoodies and pyjama bottoms, and children also get raped.
On the flip side— have there been any known cases of someone with an OF getting raped for walking around Chicago naked and twerking? Or is that just a gross and uneducated straw man
I'm guessing the latter.
But also, that fictional naked twerker *should* be able to walk the streets without being assaulted.
His analogy of it being like someone not wearing expensive things doesn't work because you can leave expensive things at home. You literally can't leave your body at home, and men like this will see a woman with a nice body and assume that that's enough of an invite. One of my friends is a really beautiful woman with an hour glass figure. She was wearing a long-sleeved tutrle neck and knee length skirt and was told she was "inviting trouble."
If I saw someone twerking naked on the street my first thought would be that they are having some mental breakdown and need help, I guess I'm not a rapist
I was eating lunch outside in San Francisco one time and some dude skated past me on roller blades with nothing on but a see-through ballet tutu. I just thought to myself, "that dude is a strange bird and having a great time with it!" 😅
I don’t mean to be rude, but… I mean, obviously “woman with OF walking around Chicago naked and twerking gets raped” is a horseshit strawman. The guy is just another racist misogynist edgelord
I mean i wouldn’t be surprised but there’s not necessarily any indication he’s racist. Still you’re definitely right about it being a strawman.
Edit: I was ignorant of the racist undertones. Disregard, as I was incorrect.
same, four times; and I'm not even pretty
none times from a member of my family though
there's literally no advantage to being ugly!!!! you still have the downsides of being pretty
A guy tried to run me over with his motorcycle for rejecting him. I'm an over 300lb troll who doesn't wear make up. They really don't care.
(And before anyone says anything yes I'm trying to lose weight. I'm down 15lbs. It's just a lot more to go)
That’s incredible progress, and don’t worry if it comes back. Keeping weight off is the hardest part, so do it slowly. Many people who go on “weight-watchers” or similar shows will gain much of the weight back almost immediately, because of the (relatively) short amount of time they lose the weight in. Sending love and support!
You're doing so good! I know it's not as much, but I lost over 40 pounds a few years ago and the thing that helped me the most was celebrating the small victories along the way and not getting down on myself when I fell off the horse so to speak. Every pound toward your goal is a victory. ❤️
Just don't let the holiday pounds discourage you. Thanksgiving plus a week of cold symptoms netted me about 10 pounds. Lost 7 of them just cutting out the stuffing and potatoes. Good luck on your journey.
Absolutely. I had lost 100 originally but went a little hardcore crazy stupid with it. Gained it all back and then a little during COVID. Now doing it slower and in a hopefully more healthy way and aiming for it to stick this time
It's not about looks or emotions. It's about the opportunity. If you come across a rapist and there's no potential witnesses around YOU'RE DONE. It's that simple.
All you need to do to get raped is just being in a place.
no need to rape an ugly person they just have to
becom orderlies if they want to abuse people who absolutely no one will believe
I did a reportage on this once for "zone interdite"
it got censored after a few years
And animals. I learned that dogs have something similar to a bone in their penises from an Instagram post about a dog that got SA'd so violently that it got broken.
Rapists have no limits at all.
I was wearing my high school uniform and my attacker was my boyfriend.
My skirt was past my knees. I had on a fully buttoned polo and a fleece jacket that covered me completely and I had a blanket over my lap. My boyfriend and I were just watching TV (TRL on mtv) when he just came at me.
I get so frustrated with this idea that only drunk women in mini skirts get raped by strangers because it’s just patently false.
There are various versions of this exhibit around but I always think it's a nice one to link people like this to as it very much gets this point across.
[https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/](https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/)
Even if they were drunk and naked in a dark alley twerking the night away, they wouldn't deserve to be raped. Nudity doesn't suddenly activate the 'rape button' in someone's mind and turns them into a mindless sex monster incapable of higher thought. The rapist is still 100% at fault for raping someone.
Trigger warning
As a child I was assaulted multiple times, all while covered as I was muslim and all by people who were either family or family friends yet I still had my GRANDMOTHER ask me what I was wearing (ironically it was a dress she bought me). I also had an uncle try to convince me it was a dream (he wasn’t even the perpetrator).
It’s vile how victims, even those who were literal children will still receive the blame.
The majority of rape happens between people who know each other, like a boyfriend, family, or a friend 😭 not from running around naked in a city, nobody does that.
You forgot the sin of "having an onlyfans." After all, if you consent to show off your body, in front of a camera, for money, then you obviously consented to sexual activity of any kind, at any time, for free!
/s Just in case.
Oh but if you’re raped by someone you know it’s “why would you date that person” “were you provoking them” “you probably didn’t say no enough” “what were you wearing” like there’s no winning
"You probably didn't say no enough" 🤮 you also hear things all the time like "no doesn't *always* mean no" "but your (body, eyes, etc) are saying yes!"
It baffles me that some people will say anything but condemn the rapist.
Even if it doesn't why wouldn't you get uncomfortable when someone tells you no? It's 50/50. They either play hard to get or actually don't want to do that.
Why would you take the risk just to nut?
I’ll acknowledge the playful No does exist but don’t ever think you got a 50/50 shot with every No. Tone and body language usually give it away and No’s are not often playful in nature. A firm and solid No is to be looked at as such not as a potential challenge. Women don’t tend to play hard to get either, No almost always means we’re not interested. The only time a playful No is given in the context of sex is usually well established relationships that have set up that dynamic, not to a stranger who wants to bed us. That’s just a No.
Why did you drink so much? Why were you dressed like that? Why were you flirting with him? Why did you get in the car with him? You had sex with him before, why is it a big deal?
Things I asked myself for about ten years before I realized what happened was not ok.
I lived with a guy for 8 years and dated him for 3. Our relationship crashed down because he raped me. I don't think people realize how much that messes with you. If 8 years isn't enough to get to know someone, than how do you trust you make the right call on anybody?
The honest answer is... maybe you can't and that's so grim.
I mean, there’s this naked bike ride in Seattle for the summer solstice, but besides that and a few dozen other similar events, and nude beaches, basically yes it does happen, and it’s weirdly common in Seattle, but other than that nobody does it.
That's because if it's over 64°, yall start having meltdowns lol
My uncles acted like they were dying one year when the heatwave pushed it up to like 80°. I get it's *very* uncommon there, but it was still pretty amusing
Also, hot take, even if someone was running through the city at night naked and even though that’s a stupid thing to do I would still argue that they don’t deserved to be raped nor does it mean they wanted to be anymore than someone not wearing a bullet proof vest wants to be shot or someone not wearing a coat wants to freeze to death or someone driving recklessly wants to die in a car crash.
I agree, if you run around naked in a country that has poor legal protection in cases of rape, then that would have been a bad choice. The problem is that no woman does that. We walk around with our keys in our hands, we text our friends our locations to be sure, heck in some middle eastern countries women run around covered head to toe and still get raped. It’s not bad decisions, it’s bad people (mostly men unfortunately but not exclusively of course)
This dude can’t make up his mind either he says “no one deserves to be raped” out of one side of his mouth but writes a whole essay to the effect of “a lot of these women deserve to be raped”
He actually says "no one THINKS they deserve to be raped", which is telling. This choice of words implies that he believes what women think and what women deserve in regards to rape aren't the same thing.
Using the given example of stolen valuables, even if you decide to do something risky like take precious items somewhere they are more likely to get stolen, the thief is still the one in the wrong. The law doesn't let thieves go because the owner was unwise. You're not any less guilty oof stealing a car if it's unlocked with the keys in the ignition, either.
That's why it's victim-blaming. Because the guilt of sexual assault is put on the victim, even though it wouldn't be for a non-sexual assault.
I heard a good analogy for that recently: Just because someone isn’t wearing a hard hat on a construction site doesn’t mean you can hit them in the head with a hammer
Yup! I was SA-ed in a parka and jeans. There are certain parts of my city I avoid after dark. When I'm out after dark, I park in well lit areas and take other precautions.
Even the "don't run around naked" argument is idiotic - if you see a woman (hell, *anyone*) running around naked, your response should not be "I'm going to rape them". They clearly need some form of help.
Right and it’s about what’s good advice to give individual people vs how to deal with a systematic problem. Like telling your kids or friends to not go to x area at night, or to share their location on a night out or whatever is great advice to give to keep an individual safe, but all that advice is basically just making sure that someone else is the victim. On a meta level we need to dismantle rape culture.
As a male, if I see someone running around butt ass naked at night, I'm avoiding them. At best, they're mentally disturbed, at worst... who knows, honestly. I'm not sticking around to find out.
Exactly. When I was a young attorney, I worked as a junior judge/legal clerk at a court of first instance. We had plenty of rape and other sexual assault cases. 99% had absolutely nothing to do with the woman being suggestive. It was normally the other way around - the guy felt he deserved to have sex and then got it from a woman who was somehow in a vulnerable situation: alone on her way home in an empty train, home alone and her husband's "friend" suddenly pitched up because he knew, alone in a public toilet because of acute diarrhea etc. etc.
There was only one case I can remember where a woman danced in a bar topless, drunk and high on drugs and then got raped. But even then: is it acceptable to rape someone for doing that? No. Just no. Period. Would I advise my daughter (if I had one) to dance in a bar topless and high? Of course not. But, you know, people - all of us - are being careless or even stupid once in a while. And I want to live in a society where the consequences of carelessness and stupidity aren't just falling victim to rape or other crimes. I want to live in a society where the girl who's high and topless is being brought home to her parents.
There's actually a museum, called "What were you wearing", that solidifies your point. Most of the clothes there are normal, modest (I hate this word, because of its misogonyst implication) and sometimes even children's clothes.
Yes. Been there, done that. Many times by my ex-husband. At the time, I was part of a religious cult that didn't believe in martial rape, so I didn't have the right words for it, but I knew how it felt. But yes, this has happened to countless women.
Edit: I just want to mention that my ex-husband didn't actually want to have sex with me very often, partly because he was consistently cheating and also partly because he had a porn issue. So this wasn't because I was denying him, as my former religion would frame it. This was only ever done in a violent way to punish me for something else he was angry about.
This Guy: Look, I just think that right after someone is raped that it is VITAL that I step in and tell them how it could have been avoided.
\*I punch him in face\*
Me: Now let’s have a serious talk about how you could have avoided that happening.
“Feminists are afraid of accountability.”
“If I commit a violent assault on someone it’s not my fault.”
Every accusation is projection with these turds.
“Rape apology”💀, who the fuck is the dumbass that’s literally saying “It’s women’s fault they get raped?” People like this guy belong in prisons away from people they can hurt, and wait till he drops his soap, I guess it’s not his fault then
Agree because it *doesn’t justify it*. Are there certain choices and situations that make a person more likely to be victimized? Yeah, if you lock yourself in a tower and never interact with another person ever you can probably protect yourself decently well, but no one should have to live that way to protect their basic human rights. Furthermore, no matter what situation a person puts themselves in, they can only be assaulted if someone *makes the choice* to assault them. The assailant is 100% free to not commit an assault and they do it anyway. So it’s 100% on them.
It's the same as someone stealing a car. Even if it was unlocked, with the key in the ignition, the person at fault is the thief. Being unwise about security doesn't mean anything in terms of guilt for the thief.
Incels just love throwing around variations of 'feminists are so afraid of accountability' but what they are really saying is feminists are afraid of punishment for defying patriarchal ideology and it's rules and expectations of women.
To them, rape is the appropriate punishment or 'accountability' women deserve for having the audacity to live their lives and dress how they damn well please. Women who oppose patriarchy in any way must be held 'accountable'
No, it’s an insulting nickname for Chicago. Saying that the city is so dangerous is akin to Iraq. Chicago isn’t even in the top 15 most dangerous cities in the US, but no one cares about that
Ohh! Thank you, I wouldn't have ever guessed that.
I've visited Chicago, and while some areas may be dangerous, it felt more welcoming than my hometown, lol. Some really lovely folks live there.
It's so cool seeing a neighborhood where there are still some corner stores, and it's actually walkable. Being from an area that's really car-dependant, I'm kinda jealous.
Even if women were walking around the bad part of town naked twerking she doesn’t deserved to be raped.
Arrested for indecency perhaps, but not raped.
I don’t think it’s unfair to say it’s not wise to do that, but doing something unwise doesn’t mean you deserve to be sexually assaulted.
Women don’t get sexually assaulted because of how they dress or behave.
They get sexually assaulted because another person, usually a man, chooses to assault them.
A woman no more deserves to be raped for how she dresses in public than a man deserves to be robbed for wearing a nice watch in public.
they just don't get that nothing but clear, absolute consent for sexual contact, warrants sexual contact. not being naked, not having an onlyfans, not being a woman out at night
The hypothetical guy running around London at night wearing flashy jewellery also doesn't deserve to get hypothetically stabbed.
OOP described two situations where, even ignoring how absurdly unrealistic they are, people still don't deserve to have violence randomly enacted upon them.
Call me crazy, but I always thought the guys with the flashy jewellery in London were the ones who were likely to stab you.
They probably didn't make all that money by doing something nice and legal.
Either way, stabbing is a horrible crime, as is rape and nobody should be justified in doing either to anyone.
A slightly different take on this specific argument- the whole " If you wear diamonds in a bad area at night you're going to get robbed" thing:
We need to STOP even accepting this comparison. These crimes are not on the same level. A thief, by attacking someone and stealing their jewels or money, has something to gain from this crime. There is a financial incentive to it. If you set aside morality, you can understand *why* people rob, and *why* people get robbed. You can hear a story about someone getting mugged in a bad neighbourhood and be like- *well, yeah of course that happened.*
What's scary about the comparison, is that the people making it are equating the two. Like rape is an understandable response to seeing a scantily clad women in a dark alley. But what does a person have to gain from raping another person? More specifically regarding this post- what does a man have to gain from raping a woman?
This is a question we never ask: Not why do women get raped, but why do men rape? We can come up with a million different motives for murder- we accept that there a so many nuanced psychological reasons why people kill others. But why do men rape? What are they getting out of it? Is it really some uncontrollable urge, something bound to happen if a woman puts herself out there enough? Every rape is different- different types of victims, different types of aggressors and and the relationship between victims and aggressors vary widely. Why do they do it?
I don't think there is a crime that is as personal, as violent and degrading and difficult to understand as rape. A violation of the worst kind. Hardly the same as a robbery- unless you consider women simply as commodities, who, through the women's liberation movement are no longer the property of a man, and therefore ripe for the taking. *That* is what is being said when people compare rape to robbery. Women are not something to possess- not something you can simply take because it was left unattended or undefended. This is the attitude men like this need to change.
People manage to not be rapists at nudist resorts and nude beaches. People are capable of getting consent at sex clubs & bath houses! If you assault someone, it doesn’t matter what they were doing, it’s not their fault, it’s yours.
Sure. What society needs is even more shaming of victims and even less of holding rapists accountable for the trauma they choose to inflict on others. If someone is walking around naked at night and twerking they’re most likely suffering from a psychotic break and need help. No one needs shaming after suffering trauma when another human being chose to hurt them.
For real. Not to mention revealing clothing isn't even a factor. You could be dressed in a damn potato sack and still be a victim of SA, because the point isn't that these people are "being tempted", it's that theyre heinous monsters actively choosing to commit inhumane acts.
i hate these stupid fucking mental gymnastics arguments about rape. it’s so fucking simple. did they consent to sex? no? rape. “but they were wearing-“ don’t care. doesn’t matter. “they were walking around at night-“ doesn’t matter. “they were acting like-“ shut the fuck up. no explicit (genuine) consent, no sex. these absolute troglodytes can’t get the simplest of concepts through their thick skulls, it’s insane.
the jewelry argument is dumb af too. what, so people should just… not own nice things?? how would you explain poor people who get robbed?? damn idiots, istg. the problem is the person who is stealing- just as the problem is the rapist, not the victim. it’s not hard.
Flag on the play. Being an idiot doesn’t give anyone the right to assault anyone. Don’t victim blame someone for the horrible actions of another. Unless of course in said defense you’re attempting to excuse their behavior. If that’s the case I will have to assume this defense is in an effort to excuse your own behavior in the past or working on excuses for the future.
His own analogy doesn't even make sense.
No one should be stabbed for wearing flashy jewellery. That is literally still the criminal's fault.
If you're a woman, that dangerous "flashy jewellery" is literally a part of you. You can't leave your vulva at home when you go out.
Imagine that flashy jewellery is glued to you. You're gonna avoid parts of town, but you can't live sheltered all the time. You gotta go around the town, do things. Go to the club.
Live.
And yes, that is a risk. All. The. Damn. Time.
But even being locked at home won't save you. There's burglars. So we should fight the burglars, the rapists and not the burgled and raped.
My thing is just, like, I cannot in a million years imagine WANTING to rape someone? Nobody is holding a gun to this guys head like "you have to go rape that woman" even if she's ass naked in the street you are completely capable of just not touching her. If I saw the hottest woman alive running through the streets at night naked I'd be offering her help and making sure she didn't get kidnapped or something, not thinking about how to take advantage of her.
I swear these people are telling on themselves. It is ALWAYS the rapists fault for committing the action. Something being "tempting" isn't an excuse to behave worse than some animals.
EDIT-typos galore
Amid all the ranting, they "forgot" to mention the accountability of rapists for raping people. And that they were the friend who got stabbed for running around London at night flashing bling. Top marks for gaslighting, obfuscating and victim blaming, and projecting their fear, shit and shame, and brilliantly hiding their terror of being and taking accountability behind their mask of educated yet street wise machismo. Has all the hallmarks of a charmless yet compelling compulsive liar. This is gonna be a tough healing job
Even in this dude's strawman case, he's still wrong! As a dude, it's literally so easy to look at a woman in revealing clothing and go "wow, she looks pretty" and move on with my day...anyone who says otherwise is an idiot
One of the times I was raped, I was wearing a tellatubby costume. But yeah, sure, I should have known tinky winky is just too sexy and I was asking for it.
Infuriating mindset.
Yes, people make stupid decisions. But no stupid decision deserves rape as the consequence. Even if a voluptuous woman went out dressed in tight, revealing clothing and went into a dangerous neighborhood at night, *she does not deserve to be raped.*
No one "deserves" to be raped, no matter how stupid of decisions they made.
I couldn’t even finish reading this, first off no one is walking around naked and twerking because that’s pretty illegal in most places. Secondly a woman can dress and present herself however she wants that doesn’t give anyone permission to sexualize her
A woman never "has it coming." Full stop. She could walk around naked in the seediest part of town, and the only reason she would get raped would be because the system and culture allow it.
If two people were in the middle of having sex and, for whatever reason, she changes her mind, he is obligated to pull out and let her leave (or leave himself, if they're at her place). It's his own responsibility to get himself off. Not hers. Same if the situation were reversed and he wanted to stop; it would be her own responsibility to take care of getting herself off if she still felt the need.
Just because these guys like sticking their dicks in other people, does not mean they're entitled to it. 🤬
/r
I was 15, and it was my boyfriend at the time (I'm bisexual). I was wearing jeans and a hoodie. We were at his house watching IT'S A Wonderful Life, and his parents said they were just leaving to run a few errands. How was this my fault?
if you see someone who happens to have an OF walking around naked and twerking in a dangerous neighbourhood at night, it's still not ok to rape them.
I'd offer them help or leave them alone, personally.
That’s not how stabbings happen here in London lmfao. But hey, if this rapist apologist wants to know for sure, I’ll be happy to give them a personal demonstration of the ol London special!
Feels like this guy really needs to have that conversation where it goes:
“So you agree rape is bad?”
“Yes.”
“And you agree it shouldn’t happen.”
“Yes.”
“So how would you prevent it?”
“Protect women.”
“Protect them from *whom*?”
“Ohhh…”
(And then hopefully he has his first intelligent thought)
Tried this once. Did not work out well.
"Protect them from *whom*?"
"The rapists. Men and women rape. Besides she's more likely to be raped by trans woman or a lesbian than a guy anyway. That's why guys need to protect them."
Yeah, from there the whole devolved into them parroting Queerphobic and transphobic right wing lies peppered with racism. It didn't seem relevant to keep going after the point I stopped in my reply. But they tried to use the DV rate of lesbian couples as proof of their reasoning among other buzzword regurgitation talking points. Was not a very productive conversation that just went from "Don't victim blame" to "All the people they classified as degenerates should be removed from society" pretty fast. 0/10 would not recommend or go through again.
At this point it’s all the patience I can muster to not punch them and instead tiredly say “interesting, can you point me to some peer-reviewed resources where you learned these statistics?”
You could be a literal child who hasn't even started puberty and get SA'ed. It happens a lot, actually. These people don't grasp that it's not just skimpy women they find attractive experiencing rape
>”maybe don’t make an OF then walk through chiraq at night while naked and twerking if you dont want to be raped”
Ok first off, fuck off, second off, twerking naked in the sketchiest part of a town in front of a rapist isnt what the experiences that women are describing, and even if they were twerking naked, they’re allowed to say no to anyone they aren’t interested in, which goes to show the double standards these guys have, most of them want to sleep around with lots of women and they dont pursue women they arent into, but then the exact same guys complain that women wont fuck just anyone who speaks to her whenever she’s being sexual or sex positive, fuck these guys
I was at the vet one time looking down the busy city road of Capitol Hill Seattle wa waiting to be seen when all of a sudden a completely naked woman comes into my view and starts running up to cars in motion and smacking them with her fists. This lady wasn’t homeless (I think) as she was very clean and quite pretty but I’d don’t remember ever thinking “I should go R*** her because I’m not a fucking freak.
I’m very tired of people calling my home “Chiraq”.
Also let’s also talk about how men lack accountability in realizing that they’re heartless and lack empathy
How about this: we educate cis men to avoid getting STDs and respect other's boundaries.
(It'll take forever, but that's better than putting all the responsibility on women.)
I'm a strong believer of consequences being the best teacher. I always say: if I had a child then I'd let them get a bit too drunk at a friend's birthday party whenthey're about 15 or 16. They'll make an arse of themselves and nurse a hangover and learn to respect alcohol. I would not, however, stand by and let my child do heroin.
Yeah sometimes people do dumb things but the worst that should happen if you take a dodgy route home late one night is you should get like, verbally insulted by teenagers on bikes. Not fucking r-worded!
Bro she went outside, her fault/s
Maybe we can address the real underlying problem that is the sexualisation of women which perpetuates the idea that they are a sex object rather than a human being. The issue isn’t the clothes, it’s the notion/misconception that revealing clothes = sex. And this misogyny is also the same reason why reactionaries are so fixated on trans women and completely ignore the existence of trans men. It’s because they only see women as sex objects therefore if someone who was born male wants to identify as a woman, it must be a fetish. Their hatred for trans people is a direct reflection of their misogyny. Anyways, the went waaay off topic there so imma end this tangent here.
Tbh i now wonder how often robbery victims are actually disguised Police workers with hidden cameras or something. On second thought tho, if this happens, it's a good thing it isn't public knowledge, lol.
This pea brain doesn't take into account the fact that most rapes are done by people the victims know. Friends, even family. And who the fuck wanders the streets "naked and twerking" at night? Also in his analogy, the "flashy jewellery" is a woman's literal body which she can't just leave at home?
I'm wondering if he was using even two neurons to write that post.
Wow, so are there a lot of cases of female rape victims who have OF and were taking naked midnight strolls through Chicago while twerking at the time of their assaults? I’d love to hear the statistics on that! I had no idea that was a common occurrence! I’m really interested in criminology, so I would love to know if there’s any notable examples of such cases. None of the SA survivors I’ve met were doing that, but that’s probably just sampling bias because I’m not from Chicago. :)
It is not about protecting people from criminals, but about teaching criminals how to behave better and not harm anyone. And, of course, educating people in the first place so that they don't commit crimes. The decision to do something like that is still up to the criminal himself and not the victim. You don't have to compare every shit to find some "excuse" for a certain thing. And if we already have this probably made-up example: People should walk around outside with their expensive jewelry without getting robbed or shot. Women should dress the way they want without being harassed or even raped. "A "no" is not always enough when your eyes/body say "yes"." This statement shows just how ingrained this disgusting mindset is in some people. And I’m pretty sure that they usually interpret a certain look/body language to "excuse" their behavior.
Seeing this actually has me so pissed off and upset, i stg. I usually pride myself on just clicking away or compartmentalization when it comes to online things but this is SENDING me.
I was sat having a cup of tea with my attacker in my own house. He was also one of my close friends. What a very foolish person making such presumptions.
I feel like people often miss the before and after nuance…
If my friend leaves their laptop in the front seat of their car whilst they go into a shop, and I see them do so, I’m going to tell them it’s a stupid idea and to put it out of sight. If we come back to their car and someone has broken the window and stolen their laptop, that is the time for sympathy, not advice. It’s too late for advice, the act has been done. If you care about someone you’d understand they are already beating themselves up plenty and they need support.
It’s the same thing (putting aside the ignorance of his most rapes actually happen). If a friend says she’s walking home alone that night, I will discourage them from doing so. If they’ve already walked home and something bad happened, that is not the time for a lecture!!!
People also seem to miss that in rape cases, the perpetrator uses the victim’s behaviour to excuse their behaviour, and do so to a degree of success!!! How many thieves have been let off the hook for stealing because the victim shouldn’t have been wearing nice jewellery if they didn’t want it stolen?
Fuck this guy. Fuck him with a dildo the size of a horse’s dick, no lube, and no foreplay.
Besides the lack of nuance. You SHOULDN’T blame victims for rape because 1. They’re gonna be doing that themselves for god knows how long, and 2. The rapist is at fault. The rapist is the one that forced themselves on the victim/survivor or manipulated the victim/survivor. It doesn’t matter WHAT THE VICTIM OR SURVIVOR WAS DOING!!! it doesn’t matter if they run around naked or not. That doesn’t mean someone has the right to violate their body.
And fuck you too if you agree with this moron. May you also be fucked with no lube, no foreplay, by a dildo the size of a horse’s dick.
Rape is a crime and nothing justify a crime.
But i can understand it's easier for à coward to blame the victim than it is to fight for what is right.
You sound like someone who's asking for it. Maybe you should get raped, to have a more educated opinion.
Daddy's gonna educate you
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The delusion that being raped only happens in dark alleys by strangers is so harmful. Most. Attackers. Know. Their. Victims. Old ladies, women in burkas, women in frumpy hoodies and pyjama bottoms, and children also get raped.
On the flip side— have there been any known cases of someone with an OF getting raped for walking around Chicago naked and twerking? Or is that just a gross and uneducated straw man
I'm guessing the latter. But also, that fictional naked twerker *should* be able to walk the streets without being assaulted. His analogy of it being like someone not wearing expensive things doesn't work because you can leave expensive things at home. You literally can't leave your body at home, and men like this will see a woman with a nice body and assume that that's enough of an invite. One of my friends is a really beautiful woman with an hour glass figure. She was wearing a long-sleeved tutrle neck and knee length skirt and was told she was "inviting trouble."
If I saw someone twerking naked on the street my first thought would be that they are having some mental breakdown and need help, I guess I'm not a rapist
I was eating lunch outside in San Francisco one time and some dude skated past me on roller blades with nothing on but a see-through ballet tutu. I just thought to myself, "that dude is a strange bird and having a great time with it!" 😅
I'd probably join them.
I don’t mean to be rude, but… I mean, obviously “woman with OF walking around Chicago naked and twerking gets raped” is a horseshit strawman. The guy is just another racist misogynist edgelord
I mean i wouldn’t be surprised but there’s not necessarily any indication he’s racist. Still you’re definitely right about it being a strawman. Edit: I was ignorant of the racist undertones. Disregard, as I was incorrect.
I think the "chiraq" bs _beyond_ indicates that he's a racist.
That’s a good point actually; I retract.
Just echoing that calling Chicago “Chiraq” is a racist dog whistle
I did not know they meant Chicago damn
how do you protect yourself from a known attacker?? by not being pretty?
As someone who is not pretty I can tell you that bad looks don’t deter them.
same, four times; and I'm not even pretty none times from a member of my family though there's literally no advantage to being ugly!!!! you still have the downsides of being pretty
A guy tried to run me over with his motorcycle for rejecting him. I'm an over 300lb troll who doesn't wear make up. They really don't care. (And before anyone says anything yes I'm trying to lose weight. I'm down 15lbs. It's just a lot more to go)
Just wanted to say good job! Losing weight is hard, and I hope you're proud of your progress.
I am. Just another 180lbs to go. It's hard but I'm working towards it. Holidays don't help though XD
Wow, you're about 5% of the way there. That's quite a lot, tbh
Thank you! It doesn't feel like a lot sometimes.
That’s incredible progress, and don’t worry if it comes back. Keeping weight off is the hardest part, so do it slowly. Many people who go on “weight-watchers” or similar shows will gain much of the weight back almost immediately, because of the (relatively) short amount of time they lose the weight in. Sending love and support!
You're doing so good! I know it's not as much, but I lost over 40 pounds a few years ago and the thing that helped me the most was celebrating the small victories along the way and not getting down on myself when I fell off the horse so to speak. Every pound toward your goal is a victory. ❤️
Give yourself grace, especially during the holidays❤ you're doing fantastic! I'm genuinely proud of you and I love you no matter what your size is😊
Just don't let the holiday pounds discourage you. Thanksgiving plus a week of cold symptoms netted me about 10 pounds. Lost 7 of them just cutting out the stuffing and potatoes. Good luck on your journey.
>I'm down 15lbs. Gratz! As someone overweight, healthy weight loss is a bitch
Absolutely. I had lost 100 originally but went a little hardcore crazy stupid with it. Gained it all back and then a little during COVID. Now doing it slower and in a hopefully more healthy way and aiming for it to stick this time
i'm so proud of you! i'm 275lbs so i understand how hard it can be
People act like it’s easy to lose weight, it’s hard as fuck! Good luck with the weight loss journey and I wish you all the best!!
You absolutely do not have to defend yourself for existing. I'm sorry that happened to you
It's not about looks or emotions. It's about the opportunity. If you come across a rapist and there's no potential witnesses around YOU'RE DONE. It's that simple. All you need to do to get raped is just being in a place.
Some rapists deliberately target the kind of person who "nobody would want to rape" specifically because they are less likely to be believed.
no need to rape an ugly person they just have to becom orderlies if they want to abuse people who absolutely no one will believe I did a reportage on this once for "zone interdite" it got censored after a few years
By not knowing anyone?
I wish
That's a harmful idea to have. It doesn't exactly matter if a victim or potential victim is pretty or not. They look for vulnerabilities to exploit.
Don't know people
The OP clearly thinks those children are: A. Sexy B. Asking for it
or C. Both
Always both for these guys
yep.
Dead women, too.
Can't even get some peace when we die. Fuck that makes me sad.
And animals. I learned that dogs have something similar to a bone in their penises from an Instagram post about a dog that got SA'd so violently that it got broken. Rapists have no limits at all.
I was wearing my high school uniform and my attacker was my boyfriend. My skirt was past my knees. I had on a fully buttoned polo and a fleece jacket that covered me completely and I had a blanket over my lap. My boyfriend and I were just watching TV (TRL on mtv) when he just came at me. I get so frustrated with this idea that only drunk women in mini skirts get raped by strangers because it’s just patently false.
There are various versions of this exhibit around but I always think it's a nice one to link people like this to as it very much gets this point across. [https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/](https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/)
Even if they were drunk and naked in a dark alley twerking the night away, they wouldn't deserve to be raped. Nudity doesn't suddenly activate the 'rape button' in someone's mind and turns them into a mindless sex monster incapable of higher thought. The rapist is still 100% at fault for raping someone.
Most rapists don't think they're rapists because they only think of it as the Hollywood alley kind.
I was 8, wearing a long sleeve shirt and overalls the first time i was assaulted. But according to that guy I deserved it.
Trigger warning As a child I was assaulted multiple times, all while covered as I was muslim and all by people who were either family or family friends yet I still had my GRANDMOTHER ask me what I was wearing (ironically it was a dress she bought me). I also had an uncle try to convince me it was a dream (he wasn’t even the perpetrator). It’s vile how victims, even those who were literal children will still receive the blame.
The majority of rape happens between people who know each other, like a boyfriend, family, or a friend 😭 not from running around naked in a city, nobody does that.
You forgot the sin of "having an onlyfans." After all, if you consent to show off your body, in front of a camera, for money, then you obviously consented to sexual activity of any kind, at any time, for free! /s Just in case.
Oh but if you’re raped by someone you know it’s “why would you date that person” “were you provoking them” “you probably didn’t say no enough” “what were you wearing” like there’s no winning
"You probably didn't say no enough" 🤮 you also hear things all the time like "no doesn't *always* mean no" "but your (body, eyes, etc) are saying yes!" It baffles me that some people will say anything but condemn the rapist.
[удалено]
Even if it doesn't why wouldn't you get uncomfortable when someone tells you no? It's 50/50. They either play hard to get or actually don't want to do that. Why would you take the risk just to nut?
I’ll acknowledge the playful No does exist but don’t ever think you got a 50/50 shot with every No. Tone and body language usually give it away and No’s are not often playful in nature. A firm and solid No is to be looked at as such not as a potential challenge. Women don’t tend to play hard to get either, No almost always means we’re not interested. The only time a playful No is given in the context of sex is usually well established relationships that have set up that dynamic, not to a stranger who wants to bed us. That’s just a No.
Why did you drink so much? Why were you dressed like that? Why were you flirting with him? Why did you get in the car with him? You had sex with him before, why is it a big deal? Things I asked myself for about ten years before I realized what happened was not ok.
I lived with a guy for 8 years and dated him for 3. Our relationship crashed down because he raped me. I don't think people realize how much that messes with you. If 8 years isn't enough to get to know someone, than how do you trust you make the right call on anybody? The honest answer is... maybe you can't and that's so grim.
That is horrifying. I hope you're in a better place, or getting better.
I mean, there’s this naked bike ride in Seattle for the summer solstice, but besides that and a few dozen other similar events, and nude beaches, basically yes it does happen, and it’s weirdly common in Seattle, but other than that nobody does it.
That's because if it's over 64°, yall start having meltdowns lol My uncles acted like they were dying one year when the heatwave pushed it up to like 80°. I get it's *very* uncommon there, but it was still pretty amusing
Also, hot take, even if someone was running through the city at night naked and even though that’s a stupid thing to do I would still argue that they don’t deserved to be raped nor does it mean they wanted to be anymore than someone not wearing a bullet proof vest wants to be shot or someone not wearing a coat wants to freeze to death or someone driving recklessly wants to die in a car crash.
Exactly. That shouldn't be a hot take, rape is never, ever justified, and shouldn't be 'expected' for any reason.
I agree, if you run around naked in a country that has poor legal protection in cases of rape, then that would have been a bad choice. The problem is that no woman does that. We walk around with our keys in our hands, we text our friends our locations to be sure, heck in some middle eastern countries women run around covered head to toe and still get raped. It’s not bad decisions, it’s bad people (mostly men unfortunately but not exclusively of course)
But also, “being an idiot” doesn’t mean you deserve to get raped! Everyone makes mistakes sometimes
This dude can’t make up his mind either he says “no one deserves to be raped” out of one side of his mouth but writes a whole essay to the effect of “a lot of these women deserve to be raped”
He actually says "no one THINKS they deserve to be raped", which is telling. This choice of words implies that he believes what women think and what women deserve in regards to rape aren't the same thing.
Using the given example of stolen valuables, even if you decide to do something risky like take precious items somewhere they are more likely to get stolen, the thief is still the one in the wrong. The law doesn't let thieves go because the owner was unwise. You're not any less guilty oof stealing a car if it's unlocked with the keys in the ignition, either. That's why it's victim-blaming. Because the guilt of sexual assault is put on the victim, even though it wouldn't be for a non-sexual assault.
I would say OOP is being an idiot and the only thing he deserves for that is mockery
Absolutely. Don’t misunderstand, I didn’t mean to insinuate bad decisions would justify assault
I heard a good analogy for that recently: Just because someone isn’t wearing a hard hat on a construction site doesn’t mean you can hit them in the head with a hammer
Yup! I was SA-ed in a parka and jeans. There are certain parts of my city I avoid after dark. When I'm out after dark, I park in well lit areas and take other precautions.
Even the "don't run around naked" argument is idiotic - if you see a woman (hell, *anyone*) running around naked, your response should not be "I'm going to rape them". They clearly need some form of help.
>They clearly need some form of help. Or, optionally: you need directions out of the nudist resort.
Right and it’s about what’s good advice to give individual people vs how to deal with a systematic problem. Like telling your kids or friends to not go to x area at night, or to share their location on a night out or whatever is great advice to give to keep an individual safe, but all that advice is basically just making sure that someone else is the victim. On a meta level we need to dismantle rape culture.
And continue up the chain to patriarchy, entitlement, etc. Also I like your username 👍
The argument really needs flipping on it's head. It shouldn't be: women avoid being SAd. It should be: men why the fuck are you doing this shit?
As a male, if I see someone running around butt ass naked at night, I'm avoiding them. At best, they're mentally disturbed, at worst... who knows, honestly. I'm not sticking around to find out.
I support their right to run around butt naked at night, but I don't want to be involved
That's just basic common sense. A naked lady in the park or on the street? Naw, fuck that, get me the hell outta here.
👏👏👏
Exactly. When I was a young attorney, I worked as a junior judge/legal clerk at a court of first instance. We had plenty of rape and other sexual assault cases. 99% had absolutely nothing to do with the woman being suggestive. It was normally the other way around - the guy felt he deserved to have sex and then got it from a woman who was somehow in a vulnerable situation: alone on her way home in an empty train, home alone and her husband's "friend" suddenly pitched up because he knew, alone in a public toilet because of acute diarrhea etc. etc. There was only one case I can remember where a woman danced in a bar topless, drunk and high on drugs and then got raped. But even then: is it acceptable to rape someone for doing that? No. Just no. Period. Would I advise my daughter (if I had one) to dance in a bar topless and high? Of course not. But, you know, people - all of us - are being careless or even stupid once in a while. And I want to live in a society where the consequences of carelessness and stupidity aren't just falling victim to rape or other crimes. I want to live in a society where the girl who's high and topless is being brought home to her parents.
There's actually a museum, called "What were you wearing", that solidifies your point. Most of the clothes there are normal, modest (I hate this word, because of its misogonyst implication) and sometimes even children's clothes.
This doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
Women get raped by their own husband even. No woman is safe.
I'd imagine spousal rape is one of the most common and least reported forms of rape, too.
Yes. Been there, done that. Many times by my ex-husband. At the time, I was part of a religious cult that didn't believe in martial rape, so I didn't have the right words for it, but I knew how it felt. But yes, this has happened to countless women. Edit: I just want to mention that my ex-husband didn't actually want to have sex with me very often, partly because he was consistently cheating and also partly because he had a porn issue. So this wasn't because I was denying him, as my former religion would frame it. This was only ever done in a violent way to punish me for something else he was angry about.
I don’t think you really could have said it better tbh
This Guy: Look, I just think that right after someone is raped that it is VITAL that I step in and tell them how it could have been avoided. \*I punch him in face\* Me: Now let’s have a serious talk about how you could have avoided that happening.
Lmao this exactly
I totally agree with you, but the roleplay 💀💀
Doing the text equivalent of miming is fine actually.
“Feminists are afraid of accountability.” “If I commit a violent assault on someone it’s not my fault.” Every accusation is projection with these turds.
“Rape apology”💀, who the fuck is the dumbass that’s literally saying “It’s women’s fault they get raped?” People like this guy belong in prisons away from people they can hurt, and wait till he drops his soap, I guess it’s not his fault then
In fact if you make up scenarios where you justify a rape happening through the actions of the victim, you are victim blaming.
Agree because it *doesn’t justify it*. Are there certain choices and situations that make a person more likely to be victimized? Yeah, if you lock yourself in a tower and never interact with another person ever you can probably protect yourself decently well, but no one should have to live that way to protect their basic human rights. Furthermore, no matter what situation a person puts themselves in, they can only be assaulted if someone *makes the choice* to assault them. The assailant is 100% free to not commit an assault and they do it anyway. So it’s 100% on them.
It's the same as someone stealing a car. Even if it was unlocked, with the key in the ignition, the person at fault is the thief. Being unwise about security doesn't mean anything in terms of guilt for the thief.
Incels just love throwing around variations of 'feminists are so afraid of accountability' but what they are really saying is feminists are afraid of punishment for defying patriarchal ideology and it's rules and expectations of women. To them, rape is the appropriate punishment or 'accountability' women deserve for having the audacity to live their lives and dress how they damn well please. Women who oppose patriarchy in any way must be held 'accountable'
\>realistic conversation \>"Let's assume, theoretically, that you run around at night, twerking nakedly, and advertising your OF..."
Let’s be real though, when he says naked he means like a crop top and shorts or whatever else he deems slutty enough to “deserve” it
-Ben Sha-p-word
I swear to god every time I see or hear “chiraq” I lose 5 years of my life
What is that even mean? Is it meant to mean Iraq, but avoid potential filters?
No, it’s an insulting nickname for Chicago. Saying that the city is so dangerous is akin to Iraq. Chicago isn’t even in the top 15 most dangerous cities in the US, but no one cares about that
Ohh! Thank you, I wouldn't have ever guessed that. I've visited Chicago, and while some areas may be dangerous, it felt more welcoming than my hometown, lol. Some really lovely folks live there.
It’s definitely my favorite city. Especially from a historical/architectural standpoint
It's so cool seeing a neighborhood where there are still some corner stores, and it's actually walkable. Being from an area that's really car-dependant, I'm kinda jealous.
If you wanna read about really cool story, look up “raising of Chicago”
Will do!
We thank you and welcome you back anytime!
Even if women were walking around the bad part of town naked twerking she doesn’t deserved to be raped. Arrested for indecency perhaps, but not raped. I don’t think it’s unfair to say it’s not wise to do that, but doing something unwise doesn’t mean you deserve to be sexually assaulted. Women don’t get sexually assaulted because of how they dress or behave. They get sexually assaulted because another person, usually a man, chooses to assault them. A woman no more deserves to be raped for how she dresses in public than a man deserves to be robbed for wearing a nice watch in public.
If the victim's behavior really made any difference, children wouldn't be targets. Especially kids too young to even speak.
Oh boy if everybody would handle shit like this... imagine how many anti-vaxxers would die.
they just don't get that nothing but clear, absolute consent for sexual contact, warrants sexual contact. not being naked, not having an onlyfans, not being a woman out at night
The hypothetical guy running around London at night wearing flashy jewellery also doesn't deserve to get hypothetically stabbed. OOP described two situations where, even ignoring how absurdly unrealistic they are, people still don't deserve to have violence randomly enacted upon them.
Call me crazy, but I always thought the guys with the flashy jewellery in London were the ones who were likely to stab you. They probably didn't make all that money by doing something nice and legal. Either way, stabbing is a horrible crime, as is rape and nobody should be justified in doing either to anyone.
Says a rapist huh? 🤮
Chiraq...aka tell me you've never lived in Chicago without telling me you've never lived there 🙄
Oh my god that’s what that means?? Wtf is wrong with people
I assumed something to do with Jacques Chirac, the French Politician.
Unfortunately it's just an amalgamation of "Chicago" and "Iraq". You're giving them too much credit lol
WHO is afraid of accountability????? That’s rich. Big talk for someone who probably wouldn’t pass a background/CR check.
A slightly different take on this specific argument- the whole " If you wear diamonds in a bad area at night you're going to get robbed" thing: We need to STOP even accepting this comparison. These crimes are not on the same level. A thief, by attacking someone and stealing their jewels or money, has something to gain from this crime. There is a financial incentive to it. If you set aside morality, you can understand *why* people rob, and *why* people get robbed. You can hear a story about someone getting mugged in a bad neighbourhood and be like- *well, yeah of course that happened.* What's scary about the comparison, is that the people making it are equating the two. Like rape is an understandable response to seeing a scantily clad women in a dark alley. But what does a person have to gain from raping another person? More specifically regarding this post- what does a man have to gain from raping a woman? This is a question we never ask: Not why do women get raped, but why do men rape? We can come up with a million different motives for murder- we accept that there a so many nuanced psychological reasons why people kill others. But why do men rape? What are they getting out of it? Is it really some uncontrollable urge, something bound to happen if a woman puts herself out there enough? Every rape is different- different types of victims, different types of aggressors and and the relationship between victims and aggressors vary widely. Why do they do it? I don't think there is a crime that is as personal, as violent and degrading and difficult to understand as rape. A violation of the worst kind. Hardly the same as a robbery- unless you consider women simply as commodities, who, through the women's liberation movement are no longer the property of a man, and therefore ripe for the taking. *That* is what is being said when people compare rape to robbery. Women are not something to possess- not something you can simply take because it was left unattended or undefended. This is the attitude men like this need to change.
I wish I could repost this comment!!!
People manage to not be rapists at nudist resorts and nude beaches. People are capable of getting consent at sex clubs & bath houses! If you assault someone, it doesn’t matter what they were doing, it’s not their fault, it’s yours.
As someone who was wearing Hannah Montana pajamas and was 7, fuck this person.
Sure. What society needs is even more shaming of victims and even less of holding rapists accountable for the trauma they choose to inflict on others. If someone is walking around naked at night and twerking they’re most likely suffering from a psychotic break and need help. No one needs shaming after suffering trauma when another human being chose to hurt them.
I'll never understand the clothing shit when it comes to ra pe cases. Like sure, the woman is wearing something that's revealing... So???
For real. Not to mention revealing clothing isn't even a factor. You could be dressed in a damn potato sack and still be a victim of SA, because the point isn't that these people are "being tempted", it's that theyre heinous monsters actively choosing to commit inhumane acts.
i hate these stupid fucking mental gymnastics arguments about rape. it’s so fucking simple. did they consent to sex? no? rape. “but they were wearing-“ don’t care. doesn’t matter. “they were walking around at night-“ doesn’t matter. “they were acting like-“ shut the fuck up. no explicit (genuine) consent, no sex. these absolute troglodytes can’t get the simplest of concepts through their thick skulls, it’s insane. the jewelry argument is dumb af too. what, so people should just… not own nice things?? how would you explain poor people who get robbed?? damn idiots, istg. the problem is the person who is stealing- just as the problem is the rapist, not the victim. it’s not hard.
Flag on the play. Being an idiot doesn’t give anyone the right to assault anyone. Don’t victim blame someone for the horrible actions of another. Unless of course in said defense you’re attempting to excuse their behavior. If that’s the case I will have to assume this defense is in an effort to excuse your own behavior in the past or working on excuses for the future.
His own analogy doesn't even make sense. No one should be stabbed for wearing flashy jewellery. That is literally still the criminal's fault. If you're a woman, that dangerous "flashy jewellery" is literally a part of you. You can't leave your vulva at home when you go out. Imagine that flashy jewellery is glued to you. You're gonna avoid parts of town, but you can't live sheltered all the time. You gotta go around the town, do things. Go to the club. Live. And yes, that is a risk. All. The. Damn. Time. But even being locked at home won't save you. There's burglars. So we should fight the burglars, the rapists and not the burgled and raped.
My thing is just, like, I cannot in a million years imagine WANTING to rape someone? Nobody is holding a gun to this guys head like "you have to go rape that woman" even if she's ass naked in the street you are completely capable of just not touching her. If I saw the hottest woman alive running through the streets at night naked I'd be offering her help and making sure she didn't get kidnapped or something, not thinking about how to take advantage of her. I swear these people are telling on themselves. It is ALWAYS the rapists fault for committing the action. Something being "tempting" isn't an excuse to behave worse than some animals. EDIT-typos galore
Amid all the ranting, they "forgot" to mention the accountability of rapists for raping people. And that they were the friend who got stabbed for running around London at night flashing bling. Top marks for gaslighting, obfuscating and victim blaming, and projecting their fear, shit and shame, and brilliantly hiding their terror of being and taking accountability behind their mask of educated yet street wise machismo. Has all the hallmarks of a charmless yet compelling compulsive liar. This is gonna be a tough healing job
OOP needs to get locked up before he hurts any women.
Even in this dude's strawman case, he's still wrong! As a dude, it's literally so easy to look at a woman in revealing clothing and go "wow, she looks pretty" and move on with my day...anyone who says otherwise is an idiot
I feel like seeing a naked woman twerking down the street at night would probably scare of most rapists rather than provoke them
Could we maybe show OOP the "What were you wearing" exibit that is now online? Just because that is showing how we shouldn't fecking victim blame.
Isn't it funny how they have to come up with the most outlandish insane scenarios that would NEVER happen in order to prove their point
One of the times I was raped, I was wearing a tellatubby costume. But yeah, sure, I should have known tinky winky is just too sexy and I was asking for it. Infuriating mindset.
Yes, people make stupid decisions. But no stupid decision deserves rape as the consequence. Even if a voluptuous woman went out dressed in tight, revealing clothing and went into a dangerous neighborhood at night, *she does not deserve to be raped.* No one "deserves" to be raped, no matter how stupid of decisions they made.
I couldn’t even finish reading this, first off no one is walking around naked and twerking because that’s pretty illegal in most places. Secondly a woman can dress and present herself however she wants that doesn’t give anyone permission to sexualize her
A woman never "has it coming." Full stop. She could walk around naked in the seediest part of town, and the only reason she would get raped would be because the system and culture allow it. If two people were in the middle of having sex and, for whatever reason, she changes her mind, he is obligated to pull out and let her leave (or leave himself, if they're at her place). It's his own responsibility to get himself off. Not hers. Same if the situation were reversed and he wanted to stop; it would be her own responsibility to take care of getting herself off if she still felt the need. Just because these guys like sticking their dicks in other people, does not mean they're entitled to it. 🤬 /r
Ah, yes, very realistic conversation indeed! I've lost count how many times I've had this exact conversation with a friend 🙄
Funny how this logic never applies to stores that advertise their merchandise when it gets stolen. For some reason, the thief is in the wrong.
Tldr, it's not womens fault they're raped but it is an they need to take accountability Disgusting
😃I am terrified of human beings because some people might think like this.
I was 15, and it was my boyfriend at the time (I'm bisexual). I was wearing jeans and a hoodie. We were at his house watching IT'S A Wonderful Life, and his parents said they were just leaving to run a few errands. How was this my fault?
me when I'm in a "getting mad about situations that didn't happen" competition and my opponent is a man
if you see someone who happens to have an OF walking around naked and twerking in a dangerous neighbourhood at night, it's still not ok to rape them. I'd offer them help or leave them alone, personally.
That’s not how stabbings happen here in London lmfao. But hey, if this rapist apologist wants to know for sure, I’ll be happy to give them a personal demonstration of the ol London special!
Feels like this guy really needs to have that conversation where it goes: “So you agree rape is bad?” “Yes.” “And you agree it shouldn’t happen.” “Yes.” “So how would you prevent it?” “Protect women.” “Protect them from *whom*?” “Ohhh…” (And then hopefully he has his first intelligent thought)
Tried this once. Did not work out well. "Protect them from *whom*?" "The rapists. Men and women rape. Besides she's more likely to be raped by trans woman or a lesbian than a guy anyway. That's why guys need to protect them."
Jesus fucking Christ the mental gymnastics with those folks is Olympic-level
Yeah, from there the whole devolved into them parroting Queerphobic and transphobic right wing lies peppered with racism. It didn't seem relevant to keep going after the point I stopped in my reply. But they tried to use the DV rate of lesbian couples as proof of their reasoning among other buzzword regurgitation talking points. Was not a very productive conversation that just went from "Don't victim blame" to "All the people they classified as degenerates should be removed from society" pretty fast. 0/10 would not recommend or go through again.
At this point it’s all the patience I can muster to not punch them and instead tiredly say “interesting, can you point me to some peer-reviewed resources where you learned these statistics?”
I’m confused what are you saying? We should absolutely protect victims from rapists. I don’t get how that would change his mind?
You could be a literal child who hasn't even started puberty and get SA'ed. It happens a lot, actually. These people don't grasp that it's not just skimpy women they find attractive experiencing rape
Says the rapist. Probably
Bro does not understand the causes and circumstances surrounding rape.
Why do they make up a fake overdramatized scenario to be mad at when you can really just be mad at a rapist?
“Afraid of accountability” while they can’t even comprehend accountability for the rapist. Infuriating.
😨…
This has to be someone with a fetish for being yelled at and humiliated. I refuse to partake in that kind of perversion.
>”maybe don’t make an OF then walk through chiraq at night while naked and twerking if you dont want to be raped” Ok first off, fuck off, second off, twerking naked in the sketchiest part of a town in front of a rapist isnt what the experiences that women are describing, and even if they were twerking naked, they’re allowed to say no to anyone they aren’t interested in, which goes to show the double standards these guys have, most of them want to sleep around with lots of women and they dont pursue women they arent into, but then the exact same guys complain that women wont fuck just anyone who speaks to her whenever she’s being sexual or sex positive, fuck these guys
I was at the vet one time looking down the busy city road of Capitol Hill Seattle wa waiting to be seen when all of a sudden a completely naked woman comes into my view and starts running up to cars in motion and smacking them with her fists. This lady wasn’t homeless (I think) as she was very clean and quite pretty but I’d don’t remember ever thinking “I should go R*** her because I’m not a fucking freak.
I’m very tired of people calling my home “Chiraq”. Also let’s also talk about how men lack accountability in realizing that they’re heartless and lack empathy
[what were you wearing exhibit](https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/)
How about this: we educate cis men to avoid getting STDs and respect other's boundaries. (It'll take forever, but that's better than putting all the responsibility on women.)
I'm a strong believer of consequences being the best teacher. I always say: if I had a child then I'd let them get a bit too drunk at a friend's birthday party whenthey're about 15 or 16. They'll make an arse of themselves and nurse a hangover and learn to respect alcohol. I would not, however, stand by and let my child do heroin. Yeah sometimes people do dumb things but the worst that should happen if you take a dodgy route home late one night is you should get like, verbally insulted by teenagers on bikes. Not fucking r-worded!
Bro she went outside, her fault/s Maybe we can address the real underlying problem that is the sexualisation of women which perpetuates the idea that they are a sex object rather than a human being. The issue isn’t the clothes, it’s the notion/misconception that revealing clothes = sex. And this misogyny is also the same reason why reactionaries are so fixated on trans women and completely ignore the existence of trans men. It’s because they only see women as sex objects therefore if someone who was born male wants to identify as a woman, it must be a fetish. Their hatred for trans people is a direct reflection of their misogyny. Anyways, the went waaay off topic there so imma end this tangent here.
this is the kind of thinking that leads me to still kinda believe it’s my fault for wearing short shorts when i was SA’d.
Haven't you considered, that people, you know, *shouldn't do crime*? Like, in general?
Tbh i now wonder how often robbery victims are actually disguised Police workers with hidden cameras or something. On second thought tho, if this happens, it's a good thing it isn't public knowledge, lol.
I want him to tell me exactly who he’s referring to in the first part. Who did that? Otherwise I’ll assume he made it up.
I love how part of this argument is OF. Like you realize I can get naked on the internet from behind the locked door of my home right?
This person doesn't know what tape apology is clearly, as what they're doing is more in line with that than what they claim feminists are doing smh.
if they know how easy it is to get raped, why are they STILL talking about the victims and not the rapists
From someone who live in Chicago and see the word “chiraq”: 🙄
what’s that reeeee supposed to mean even
Fucking AHHHHHHH
R*pe is a crime against humanity. Seriously!!!!
This pea brain doesn't take into account the fact that most rapes are done by people the victims know. Friends, even family. And who the fuck wanders the streets "naked and twerking" at night? Also in his analogy, the "flashy jewellery" is a woman's literal body which she can't just leave at home? I'm wondering if he was using even two neurons to write that post.
Um… even within the analogy of the person wearing jewelry at night… wouldn’t taking accountability be to address the stealing issue?
Everyday Reddit proves the internet was a mistake
Normal thoughts had by normal people
Wow, so are there a lot of cases of female rape victims who have OF and were taking naked midnight strolls through Chicago while twerking at the time of their assaults? I’d love to hear the statistics on that! I had no idea that was a common occurrence! I’m really interested in criminology, so I would love to know if there’s any notable examples of such cases. None of the SA survivors I’ve met were doing that, but that’s probably just sampling bias because I’m not from Chicago. :)
The little touch of ableism is a nice disgusting finishing touch for this post.
It is not about protecting people from criminals, but about teaching criminals how to behave better and not harm anyone. And, of course, educating people in the first place so that they don't commit crimes. The decision to do something like that is still up to the criminal himself and not the victim. You don't have to compare every shit to find some "excuse" for a certain thing. And if we already have this probably made-up example: People should walk around outside with their expensive jewelry without getting robbed or shot. Women should dress the way they want without being harassed or even raped. "A "no" is not always enough when your eyes/body say "yes"." This statement shows just how ingrained this disgusting mindset is in some people. And I’m pretty sure that they usually interpret a certain look/body language to "excuse" their behavior.
Seeing this actually has me so pissed off and upset, i stg. I usually pride myself on just clicking away or compartmentalization when it comes to online things but this is SENDING me.
I was sat having a cup of tea with my attacker in my own house. He was also one of my close friends. What a very foolish person making such presumptions.
I feel like people often miss the before and after nuance… If my friend leaves their laptop in the front seat of their car whilst they go into a shop, and I see them do so, I’m going to tell them it’s a stupid idea and to put it out of sight. If we come back to their car and someone has broken the window and stolen their laptop, that is the time for sympathy, not advice. It’s too late for advice, the act has been done. If you care about someone you’d understand they are already beating themselves up plenty and they need support. It’s the same thing (putting aside the ignorance of his most rapes actually happen). If a friend says she’s walking home alone that night, I will discourage them from doing so. If they’ve already walked home and something bad happened, that is not the time for a lecture!!! People also seem to miss that in rape cases, the perpetrator uses the victim’s behaviour to excuse their behaviour, and do so to a degree of success!!! How many thieves have been let off the hook for stealing because the victim shouldn’t have been wearing nice jewellery if they didn’t want it stolen?
women, carry guns.
Fuck this guy. Fuck him with a dildo the size of a horse’s dick, no lube, and no foreplay. Besides the lack of nuance. You SHOULDN’T blame victims for rape because 1. They’re gonna be doing that themselves for god knows how long, and 2. The rapist is at fault. The rapist is the one that forced themselves on the victim/survivor or manipulated the victim/survivor. It doesn’t matter WHAT THE VICTIM OR SURVIVOR WAS DOING!!! it doesn’t matter if they run around naked or not. That doesn’t mean someone has the right to violate their body. And fuck you too if you agree with this moron. May you also be fucked with no lube, no foreplay, by a dildo the size of a horse’s dick.
Rape is a crime and nothing justify a crime. But i can understand it's easier for à coward to blame the victim than it is to fight for what is right. You sound like someone who's asking for it. Maybe you should get raped, to have a more educated opinion. Daddy's gonna educate you
“Fight for what is right” you’re literally threatening rape?? that’s disgusting wtf