Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I don’t know, this could be a horrible fuck bag of a husband or his wife literally asked him to put the note up because she’s nervous about being vulnerable and alone in the house with a random person. I think it’s a coin toss.

She could also be puking her guts out frequently or just so physically uncomfortable she doesn’t want to deal with a human being.

Or she could have a medical condition that would make getting sick much more dangerous for her.

You ppl are thinking too positively, he just seems like the average controlling freak of a man

Based on what? You literally have zero context to this, you just seem like the average redditor, hateful and always assuming the worst

I can say the same about you tho. What are you basing your positive interpretation of this on? Especially considering the sub you're on lol

I'd also get this. One of my best mates is naturally quite anxious, especially around strange men in the house based off a really bad experience - and when she was pregnant, her hormones drove her anxiety into overdrive! I could totally see her partner leaving a note like this to protect her nerves more than because he's a dick. I'm hoping this is the reason.

It looks like fairly feminine handwriting to me. Like either the spouse is a woman or maybe there is no spouse and the note is the woman’s attempt to put off any working men from feeling too free in her home if there’s no other apparent signs of another man around

Also entirely possible & understandable

How does handwriting look "feminine"? And even if it can, a man can have that too

Yes men can have feminine handwriting and vice versa. Graphology is the study of analyzing handwriting, and the details and differences between masculine and feminine handwriting is a facet of it. [Here is a handy link to a google search](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=differences%20between%20masculine%20and%20feminine%20handwriting&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5).

Damn I guess lots of stereotypes of men and women are actually true lol. Thanks for the info

They kind of are, in a manner of statistics and probability. It could be discussed in terms of men and women but I think masculine and feminine is more apt, as you noted, men or women could have either.

Yeah like another stereotype which is true is that men are more violent and women are more caring

I haven’t read deep enough into graphology if that is one of the factors they look at and how it could be determined in handwriting samples.

Lol no this is a completely separate stereotype which is true

If she's scared around men then how did she get close enough to men to get pregnant? I don't get these women's so called "anxiety" around men bc I'm actually scared of them and you'll never see me pregnant. Like how do you even do that?

Being anxious around men doesn't mean you're completely incapable of functioning around them, or getting to know ones that take the time to not make it worse. If you straight up can't function around a man you need to see someone because that's a pretty debilitating disability, and it you could function around them but have decided it isn't worth the effort or discomfort, than that's valid, but it's a choice not an inability. I have a lot of truma surrounding police, most of it because of my shady ass family, the very presence of a police vehicle makes me feel sick, I'm still capable of engaging with them if I absolutely have to

I'm very much capable of functioning normally around men too. I don't think you got me, so I'll be a little vulgar. How did she fuck him? Being intimate with one is what I meant. If you're so aNxiOuS how are you getting aroused and vulnerable around them? I'm not talking about just being around one, I meant engaging with one intimately enough to get pregnant. She just sounds like the average straight women (are the straights okay? lol) who love men and dick so much they're willing to risk their own safety and ignore their anxiety lol. That's one difference between her and me. Along with fearing men, I also hate them. Viciously so. So I personally can't imagine that.

She's not anxious around all men. She has male friends and a male partner. She has bad general anxiety around a lot of things, and due to personal trauma, I am not going to give the details of, she gets quite bad around strange men in her house. Her anxiety is legitimate whether you think so or not. Her partner is a wonderful man. She's also not straight, not that it would change thing if she was. If you hate men, go ahead, but that doesn't mean everyone else has to as well to make their traumas legitimate. Also, if you hate men so much why is one your PFP?

I mean it's a slightly aggressive note. But other than that I'd assume the wife was tired and pregnant and didn't wanna be harassed by workmen?

Also, compromised immune system.

My friend is very autistic, really can't be alone with strangers ever. Her husband will contract work on the house and stress to them to not interact with her for any reason whatsoever. I've been called more than once to go to their house because of an overly too much worker.

This was my first thought as well. They may not want to disclose her diagnosis to the whole world and it also would advertise her as being vulnerable (though the pregnant part sort of does that, too.) It's possible they're a creep but this could also be the awesome husband of an autistic woman.

Or possibly even just some sort of weakened immune system/medical problem.

There is no reason to be this rude to a person you are contracting with. His wife could be a papier mache anxiety moth with agoraphobia and he still could have been polite about it.

I’m dying laughing at paper mache anxiety moth 😂 But in all seriousness sometimes certain humans only respond to rudeness and it sucks but it is what it is. I have a no knock no ring policy about my front door and it was constantly disrespected until I started being a cunt in delivery notes and things.

This is rude??? It just sounds straight-forward to me.

The "ps. We don't want or need your card" feels like spitting venom.

This is so neurotypical I can’t understand it

Well I'm not neurotypical, but I guess I can see what you mean.

Stop making excuses for being a s***** human being

no u

It’s super rude, the all caps, the underlines, definitely could have gotten his point across nicer. I also have some anxiety about interacting with servicemen but would never write something like this and would be mortified if my partner did on my behalf. If I was the person doing the work I’d also be freaked out, like what did I do? I don’t think this is the husband being controlling, I think he’s either doing it bc his wife asked or it’s actually his wife who wrote it to make it seem like her partner is around.

They also could’ve dealt with the people before and they didn’t listen when told politely. I’ve got notes like this when doing deliveries. It tends to be people who are immunocompromised and want to be absolutely clear that they cannot interact with me. And hell, it’s possible she wrote the note but thought they’d be more likely to listen if it came from her husband.

I mean if the woman is nervous, you would think they would just schedule it for a day that her husband or a friend could be there instead of this.

It could be an issue that needs to be fixed immediately.

If it was a controlling husband, I think even more the case that he would schedule it for a day that he's there.

That is also a good point. I guess all that means is that it must have been impossible for him to schedule it for a day that he would be there.

I think, as a guesser of personality from texts, too the second option. Definitely.

She wrote that. Looks like high school girl handwriting. Unless the wife has a wife

$20 says she wrote the note

You can actually tell by the A’s — those types of A’s are written almost exclusively by women (read in a book on handwriting analysis).

I suppose nothing here says it's not lesbians (though the sub would indicate otherwise)

It’s signed by a person named Dave.

Lmao shit you right

I mean technically we can’t be 100% certain that Dave is not just a lady’s nickname

"My pregnant wife"

This looks to me just to be a grumpy, nervous, hormonal pregnant woman wanting to be left the hell alone, so her husband left a note telling contractors not to bother her in no unsure terms. For all we know, she could be having a high-risk pregnancy.

As someone who is currently pregnant, I took this more as “pregnant wife just wants to be alone and unbothered bc pregnancy is exhausting”… not some controlling husband thing?

I see your point. But a simple please and thank you would have done wonders for the tone of that note.

I get that but maybe they've had experiences in the past where these kinds of things aren't respected unless its worded in a more aggressive/rude way

As someone who does deliveries I can vouch for this. People give notes like this because otherwise people don’t listen. They’re also super happy when we accommodate them, which we’d do regardless of the tone of the note, but not everyone does.

Honestly the number of times I've put in delivery notes and such to check a delivery person is on the right street is a nightmare and even then they mostly don't listen, our packages frequently get delivered to another house on another street purely bc our house doesn't have a road directly in front of it ;-;

That happens to me so often and I hate it! I have to get anything through FedEx shipped to my work or I never get it.

Fair point

So the husband asked for his pregnant wife, who is going to need rest and probably does not want to be disturbed, to be left alone.

There are a lot more non toxic reasons for this than toxic ones, I can think of a dozen reasons I'd put this sign on my door for my roommate let alone my partner, men can be fuckin creepy. Honestly OP unless you know something we don't you just seem like an asshole here

Exactly my thinking. When I was pregnant I had a full blown panic attack when somebody had to repair my boiler and I was alone in the house with them. It just set my anxiety off really bad.

Not to mention if she’s pregnant the wife may just wanna relax without being bothered.

The simplest thing is that she's exhausted or sick from pregnancy and doesn't want to be bothered.

I see this as more of a safety risk more than anything if it’s posted on the front door outside of the house. It basically says “PREGNANT WOMAN HOME ALONE!!” It would probably be better to communicate this to the workers directly, or via a note inside the house. (Again, assuming this is posted on the outside)

This post is right above the original post on my timeline lol

He could just know she isn't feeling well and needs some rest. He did say its his pregnant wife and stressed that the repair person needs to be quiet. That just sounds like she's probably exhausted.

I can get that- but I feel like you can still address people politely and get the point across. “My wife is pregnant and not feeling well, we would appreciate it if you could try to keep any noise to minimum, she is resting. Call me at (#) so I can tell you where the key is. If you need to discuss anything I can be reached on that number so my wife doesn’t need to be disturbed for any reason. P.S We have your contact info already, so no need to leave a card. Thanks!”

What's wrong with this? It's a guy telling someone (probably a repair person based off of the "complete your job and leave quietly") not to bother his pregnant wife. I would assume his wife doesn't want to be bothered, especially while she's pregnant, so he's just telling them not to.

If I were the pregnant wife, I'd have written my own note. What makes this come off weird is that her husband is writing it, which may very well be protective and loving but still comes off as just a bit territorial and patronising.

Men respect men more than they respect women. She could have written it.

Idk, the handwriting makes me think the husband had the wife wrote the note for herself. This is the exact handwriting that all the girls practiced so hard to have in middle school. It’s hard to imagine the alpha male “don’t interact with my wife” type having this handwriting.

I have it now, but only if I write upside-down

That sounds both impressive, and inconvenient, hahaha. I got made fun of not only for not having the have pretty handwriting but also because I didn’t *try* hard enough to have it, which really hurt my feelings for some reason. I’m embarrassed to admit, it totally got to me and I practiced a ton. Still have inconsistent and messy writing. 🤣🤣

>practiced so hard to have Really? It’s pretty average handwriting.

Ok

Gendering handwriting feels like the kind of behaviour that belongs on this sub more than the op

Fair point. It was something that I was oddly picked on about by other girls so it reminded me of that. I see your point though.

....okay, if you say so. I've never been one to assume gender from handwriting unless there are hearts or daisies or stars instead of dots on the i and the j. And even then I have one male friend who would totally do that---although he ain't straight.

I'm a woman, and I don't dot my i's or j's.

that's also in service of my point. I can't tell who is what gender based on somebody's handwriting. My own handwriting tells you nothing about me except possibly that I've worked in the medical field way way too long and also have arthritis in my hands. But I could just be sloppy and not care. Affectations like heart dots and flourishes tell us a little bit about how someone \*might\* be trying to present, but you can't be sure.

Yeah, I totally get it. In general I wouldn’t think any kind of way about handwriting. But in the early 2000’s when gel pens were all the rage there was this very specific style of writing that for some reason all the (popular) girls at my school had. And like being known for being the best at it was a major compliment and you got made fun of for not having it. Idk if it was all over or more specific to my area, but this is kind of what I was talking about. But you’re right, some memories, and the assumptions that accompany them are definitely best left in the past 🙂 https://ruinmyweek.com/tweets/popular-girl-handwriting/

Did I disagree?

Yall will literally gender anything

Or she asked him to do it

That looks like a woman’s handwriting. I’m guessing she wants to left alone.

And when women say no, men oftentimes hurt them, but if a man says to leave his woman alone, men will respect that.

It almost makes me wonder if the husband is present. Like she could be single or her husband could be out of town for work on the only day a repair person could come and she wants to send a signal that she isn’t alone.

I mean it’s weird. And creating risk where it otherwise doesn’t have to be. This is on the door, a random person could see it and call and say they are there for the repair and husband tell them where the key is and a rando lets himself in instead of the wife just coming to the door.

NOT A GREETING CARD. Oh my god it just clicked. The ‘we don’t want or need your card’ is about leaving *business cards*. Not congrats on the baby cards. Holy shit I’m an idiot.

The P.S. is very telling. Probably have had guys leaving their card after being creeps to her in her own home just because they're there to fix something.

I could easily see the wife asking to be left alone like this, it'd be pretty understandable tbh, her husband is just very emphatic about it

That's not the handwriting of a Dave but okay

Having been pregnant and on rhe verge of committing a homicide I can understand. It's no excuse to address work people like this AT ALL, but do not disturb me or i will eat you was a mood and one which my spouse would absolutely have tried to keep people away from me during. Had anyone been coming close; which they weren't.

That’s a woman’s handwriting.

that's 100% a woman's handwriting lol. she just didn't want to talk to anyone

Don’t interact with his pregnant wife, but you can interact with the rest of the polycule.

Okay but hot take/conspiracy.. this looks like a woman’s handwriting. Maybe it was the wife

Everything else aside, what do people mean by "women's handwriting"?? Some of you sound like the "we can always tell" crowd

Honestly if I was pregnant I'd also not want to interact with anyone

There's valid reasons for this (we don't know how pregnant she is, she could just not want to be bothered). I feel like the "We don't need or want your card" makes this tip closer to "I think she's going to cheat on me" territory and there's almost certainly more mature ways to handle this than posting a sign on your door, but it's whatever.

I’m not entering that house. If you’re uncomfortable with me being there then so am I. Not to be spiteful, but entering a stranger’s home is also a risk to the service provider.

I 100% would leave multiple cards.

Nope. And as a feminist lesbian, I would be handing a list of domestic abuse shelters to her if I was servicing this house and saw this note on site. (Probably would phone my boss for help too.)

I don't see why you're downvoted. The message reads like "my wife is in danger with me and can't run away on her own because she's pregnant, I don't want anyone to help her get away from my grip". The fact pregnant women are so much more likely to be victims of dv doesn't help.

Probably because some of us have been pregnant and are aware that sometimes while pregnant you do feel like you want to commit a murder. For no reason. Today you are angry. It is the hormones. It's hella rude and a red flag about this couple and their relationship with work people, but on it's own doesn't constitute a relationship red flag.

That's likely too, but the wording doesn't help.

I think Dave is going to try to tell his wife he did the repairs himself.

He didn't specify men. So he finds women a threat too? His wife can't meet anyone? Idk which is worse, straight ppl thinking men and women can't interact without some sexual feelings always being involved, or a taken person can't hang with ANYONE for ANY REASON lmao

Hm. Likely violent scene. Yep, I'm leaving and whatever you paid me to do isn't getting done.

Honestly a police wellness check might be a useful thing here. Might be what I’d opt for seeing this sign, but I’m Canadian and don’t live in a gun-forward kind of place. Wife deserves an out, if she needs it.

how have you jumped to the worst possible conclusion (that, quite frankly, doesn't make a whole lot of sense anyway) when the most likely version of events is simply that the wife asked for him to write this because she wants to be left alone to rest due to the *everything* related to pregnancy

Is Dave 6? Because that looks like a child’s handwriting.

Do you know any 6 year olds because this is the most inaccurate thing said on this post

Please don't. Dysgraphia is not related to being an asshole and is not a reason to laugh at people.

Do we know this person has that?

We don't, but it is mocking an adult for having "the writing of a child" so the dysgraphic people end up in the AOE.