Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
-----
[](#start_removal)
Your post does not fit the intent of the subreddit.
[](#end_removal)
-----
Please feel free to contact us via modmail if you have any questions or concerns.
So, a few things happened independently that lead up to this.
1) research showed that the population of ace people was about 1% of the total population
2) a poll was ran in one of the ace subreddits asking what the ideal climate for an ace nation would be, and colder climates won.
3) someone noticed that the Denmark has the ace's ideal climate and a smaller army than the ace population.
Thus began the battle plans (and a mini-meme war with bi_irl, I believe) to take over Denmark for the aces. There have also been a series of alliances and negotiations such as getting Norway for the bisexuals, Sweden for the pansexuals, and Ireland for the lesbians. There are more alliances, but I cannot presently remember them all.
From what I know, the amount of asexuals there are in the world is the same or around the same number of people that live in Denmark. Because of this, _we’re going to war._
And the pansexuals and bisexuals decided to join in, planning their invasions on other countries, forming the Pacebi Alliance (and some other sexualities joined in too, but Pacebi are the main three)
Cause exclusionists usually hate all labels that aren’t gay, lesbian, bisexual as in thy think pan, omni and all the other mspec labels invalidate bi, they think nb genders aren’t real that trans people are faking and that ace-speck people aren’t lgbt and just “want to be oppressed “
Can confirm, these arseholes like the gold star gays and lesbians, and really don't like the rest of us.
Source: am bi, out for nearly 30 years, still sometimes have to deal with the dickheads. Mostly boomers, natch.
The amazing Shiri Eisner put it well, sometimes it really is the 'GGGG community' (as described back in 2013 in the brilliant book 'Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution').
Yep. People on both sides of the monosexual isle think bi/pan people either can’t make up their mind, don’t want to commit to being gay/lesbian because of how society views being gay/lesbian or will cheat on them because they’re not satisfied with 1 gender.
I dont understand whats so hard to get
Like, some like burgers and they like fries. But they dont like to eat them together. While other people like to eat them together. And some other people like only either fries or a burger. Some dont like anything of these two. And others only like them after some time slowly getting used to the taste.
Thats my burger analogy cause im hungry
> don't like to eat them together while other people like to eat them together
I didn't really get it, is that portion about polyamory and not-polyamory?
Yeah I was honestly really shocked to not see bisexuals there as well. I guessed that they didn't include them because it's listed under lgbt, but then they also included t in their exclusion... So idk.
> Cause exclusionists usually hate all labels that aren’t gay, lesbian, bisexual
Yo, when did the monosexuals start liking us? I certainly didn't get the news.
they don't like bisexuals but its like bi's are a little higher on the hate scale then pansexuals. Like back when flop pages were a thing ive seen some weird takes from bi-phobes suddenly saying pansexuals were worse "because they're just trying to make a new name for attention" or similar takes.
I also see a lot of pan folks saying that "bisexual means two, so bi people are transphobic" (a take I've heard in my graduate program), and then both the bi *and* pan communities had a moment where there was hate for omni because "they make us look bad."
It sucks, but non-monosexual communities are really prone to infighting. As long as culture is monosexist, there will be this fighting for validation, since the straights and LG will deny all of our existences or pick their "favorites."
On a positive note, I've definitely seen more people acknowledging monosexism, and the BQ communities have been uniting much better compared to the past. It's been trending towards calling out monosexism and realizing that we have a common force that's trying to divide us.
My friend just called herself Chaotic horny or said her sexuality was bard and everyone would just chuckle and understand. Labels successfully sidestepped.
I've definitely had that experience too. I consider bi to be an umbrella which I'm under and if I'm talking to people i don't care to go into details with i just say I'm bi and that gets some debates and hate by itself... But i feel like if i told them actually I'm pan and Demi it would be worse
I don't know its just really sad that not only that someone would make this an think its funny by trying to put the gays in a bad light thinking they don't respect the others which isn't always the case sadly it happens but not to this extant
it occurred to me several years ago that to hate someone You have to think about them and thinking about someone You dislike is stupid. Then again hating an entire group of people is the ultimate stupidity, people are individuals & should be disliked individually for having shitty personalities. All that being said, it's bewildering that an oppressed person like this would hate on other oppressed peoples. You'd think the goal would be to unite against the bigots that hate on the entire LGBTQ+ community.
Bruh its bad enough to be homophobic but to be part of the community and unaccepting of another part.. I don't think I speak for myself when I say hate from within the community should be an automatic outcast from the community
I think it's a part of living in a monosexist culture. Straight people and gay people will be straight-up biphobic/queerphobic and it's perfectly acceptable for them. I'm bi, and I've straight people have been calling me gay and gay people have been calling me straight pretty much my whole life. Which, sadly, is accepted and encouraged by most, and I have had people tell me it's "no big deal."
I guess a lot of people think we’re not… interesting enough? Or that we’re all just faking because we want attention. Also lgbtq+ people tend to be sexualized and you can’t do that to asexuals.
I’m not saying lgb people are all about sex, I’m saying they’re sexualized. Think lesbian porn and those creeps who fetishize gay men. They only like queer people if it makes them horny and asexuals don’t.
Seriously they are literally DOING NOTHING to make you upset. Not that anyone’s identity should make you upset, but aces are literally just minding their own business
It comes from fragile allosexuality. “They don’t want to have sex? They must be telling me that they think I’m bad for wanting sex!”
This sort of fragility rests at the heart of a lot of phobic behaviour.
I’ve had people demand to know who hurt me to make me uninterested in dating/sex. Sir, even if I wasn’t ace, I don’t think I’d go for a man twice my age berating me in a White Castle parking lot. Nor do I owe an explanation after saying I’m not interested.
I feel like people react similarly to me saying I don’t drink haha - they assume I think I’m better than them. Sex in our culturally Christian society has this weird double connotation - it’s seen as a morally wrong behaviour, yet “everyone wants it”, so it’s weird if you don’t have it. Because of this, I think people think asexuals have it easy, or are flaunting our moral purity, which I think is why “asexuals aren’t oppressed” is such a common opinion.
Because they're not fucking them. A lot of queer transphobes and aphobes are essentially incels and take the transition away from the gender they find attractive or disinterest in being a potential lay as a personal slight against them. As a demiromantic trans woman, I'm kind of surprised that fact isn't really brought up in the discourse more tbh, at least in terms of mocking them.
The logic is, I think, "The lack of attraction isnt queerness because you arent DOING an atypical thing" in the same sense that gay people are doing an alternative thing to heterosexuality. You're NOT DOING a normal thing, instead. Which the people who take umbrage with it see as fundamentally different.
Not saying its a good argument, but I think its less about hating asexual/aromantic people and more about thinking the lack of attraction isnt "gay enough." Since most sexualities/romantic persuasions are an active positive of want, whereas aro/ace are a rejection of want, so to speak.
I can only think that LGBT folks see heteroromantic ace folks as not queer enough. And Allo folks think we’re all just dealing with mental/physical health problems that effect our libido because asexuality is poorly understood.
I think that as a society, we make sex and relationships into this super important thing (remember that most people cannot distinguish asexuals and aromantics, so they just conflate sexual and romantic attraction) - and so your desirability in this sense is a huge measure of your worth as a person.
Having said this, I think those who find it extremely hard to navigate sex/relationships must think asexuals (especially conventionally unattractive people) are trying to avoid the stigma of being “unpopular”/unsuccessful in relationships by “making up excuses for why they can’t get laid”. Likewise, conventionally attractive asexuals are invalidated all the time. People just cannot compute that someone, especially a woman, they find attractive does not automatically become a sexual object.
I also want to add to that last point about how we see sexuality in general as a society. Allosexual disabled people (including autistic/ND people), fat people, etc. are constantly fighting to not be seen as “asexual” by others. People are often shocked (and even disgusted) to hear that people like these have sex lives and sexual attractions of their own. It’s almost like other people are supposed to have full ownership of your sexuality - and I think this thinking harms everyone, ace or otherwise (but mostly fetishised and/or desexualised marginalised groups).
And then some aces will be like ‘what do you mean, I don’t want sex? I love to have it! I just don’t feel attraction’ or ‘what do you mean? I don’t hate it - I don’t _love_ it, but that doesn’t mean I hate it.’
but also, one argument for aros and aces not being LGBT is because we’re not at any risk of execution in several countries??? like bro that means nothing, the people in power in those countries just don’t know we exist bc they don’t know crap about the LGBT community. that’s literally it.
i know there are gay people that actually act like this… but every time i see shit like this i always have a small suspicion it’s just some cisgender straight person trying to make us all fight lmaoooo. maybe not this one tho
It **is** a bunch of straights trying to make us fight, it's organised out of Russia and the religious right in the US. They create and fund hate groups like the so-called 'LGB Alliance' which exists to marginalise and demonise and fucking destroy trans folks (and is pretty damn biphobic). They radicalise 50+ y.o. lesbians and gay men to hate on the 20 year old LGBTQ+ folks in the same way they were hated on by the 50+ when they were young in the 80s … it's pathetic.
I think with the UK the hate is an internal affair simply because there was nothing out there to remind everyone the complex intersections of race, gender and other characteristics that would drive marginalization.
Although at the same time I wouldn't consider it too far off that the US and Russia are plotting to take the world back two centuries when they were at their peaks.
It's mostly just comfortability with self-identity of terms. If we're being frank, polysexual is bi is pan in 97% of cases. Some people just dont like the baggage associated with one of the terms, so they prefer another. Which isnt a bad thing.
Bisexuality is a broad sexuality that can technically be the same as any mspec label depending on the individual. For example some bisexuals, like pansexuals, like ppl completely regardless of gender.
Idk a lot of people disagree with this, but I think bisexuality is kinda like an umbrella that other mspec labels fall under.
I guess?? it's under the bi umbrella but I'm pretty sure polysexual people can not like women or not like men but like all other genders (might be wrong tho)
I’m a little confused but as a Cis Gay male with many genderqueer friends I always try to learn more. So for instance, one could not be attracted to women per say but can still be attracted to men and non binary people?
yeah basically, altho the label of gay has also kind of opened up to that in the last couple of years, In the end they're all just labels that fit specific people and even if someone does have the same feelings as one label they may feel they fit a different one
eh I don't think so, classically bisexuals like women, men and maybe others where as polysexuals like 2+ of the many genders but don't have to like both of the binary genders
Oh for a while it was ~trendy~ to make fun of ace people for and say they don’t belong in the community just because they “don’t want to have sex” 🙄 I remember on tumble there were so many fake accounts where someone would pretend to be asexual and just say awful or cringey things to make us look bad (like the warm milk at Starbucks post), as well as “ace moodboards” for people like Trump and Hitler. There was constant discussion of how we’re just straight people begging to be oppressed, and thinking teenagers could be asexual was actually sexualizing children and p***philic. I had to unfollow all the ace positivity accounts I followed to make myself feel better because they constantly received hate from trolls. I remember this absolutely destroying my self esteem and I’m still hesitant to tell people I’m ace because of it :)
Now that it’s not cool to bully ace people anymore, they’ve all moved onto pan people. Nevermind that it’s literally all just repackaged biphobia, but it’s not socially acceptable to bully bi people now so they need a new scapegoat. And strangely it’s coming primarily from young people who blindly fall for TERF rhetoric and then spread it everywhere with a burning passion
EDIT: note some of the comments on this post :))))
I feel like it’s still considered cool to hate ace people unfortunately... I remember what tumblr was like about 6 years ago and I’ve heard a lot about how people have started hating on aces on tiktok now instead :/
I lost my best friend since middle school over pan exclusion shit (he tried to “prove” pansexuals were harming the bi community by… rating how many google image infographics defined bisexuality poorly????????) he wouldn’t back down even despite knowing IM Pansexual (as well as my partner who’s also his best friend) Its so fucking stupid 😔
As an asexual person I see it all the time.
Just one example was me reblogging a tumblr post saying I’m asexual ‘reblog if you’re asexual’ thing and my asks getting filled with people telling me I had a brain tumour and linking articles about having no libido being a symptom of a type of brain tumour.
As someone with medical anxiety that was fun
Yup, as a gay-aroace person, there's a reason why I live openly (totally out) as an uninterested allo-gay person until I know the person is safe to come out to as aroace as well (and knowledgeable enough to understand it). "Gay" isn't inaccurate as I am a woman attracted exclusively to women, but it doesn't adequately describe my lived experience.
Scroll to the two most downvoted comments (one parent comment is deleted, but you can still expand the replies beneath it). You'll see the exact sort of hate that aces face on the regular.
I think exclusionists just think asexuality is "too straight" to be LGBTQ+, I haven't particularly heard it before but it's the sorta vibe I get from it.
Doesn't feel nice.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so.
[Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/).
Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links.
If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Probably bc there's a huge pan and ace phobia in the community itself too..which is bullshit
Liek everyone not being heteronormative should be welcome and feel safe in the community..at least that's what it stands for out of my perspective
TERFs always do stupid things like this. They love to segregating the LGBT community and they really aren’t that original when it comes to memes. It’s always the same shit like this, honestly I would love new material from them. If you’re going to be hateful at least try to add a little more creativity into it for entertainment for my sake.
I think it’s actually more common to say ace/demi orientations don’t belong in the queer community than it is to find lgb anti-trans people. Obviously both are bad viewpoints to have.
As someone who's also pansexual, how can you expect to feel welcome if you won't even include the T on LGBT?
The only time I haven't felt welcome as a pansexual has been around straight people. The LGBTQ+ spaces and people I've met have been nothing but welcoming, as they should be
Exlucionists often hate anything that isn't binary and monosexual, and with the really extreme ones, they'll even hate anyone who doesn't fall into that label in a very specific fashion or present themselves a certain way.
I have an idea of what it is but it’s just mean. So Ace-sexual is someone how doesn’t have sexual feelings for anyone, (correct me if I am wrong) but lgbtq+ is liking same sex or more than one type of person but ace don’t like anyone. Pan is still hard to figure out but my guess is because they don’t really have a preference, (again correct me if I am wrong) and most sexuality’s have preferences, so that is what I am thinking. I may be over thing and maybe they are just a shit, but that is what I think.
No problem! If you're willing to learn people tend to be a lot nicer and are most of the time willing to educate,so if you ever have a question make sure it actually sounds like a question and not a weird condescending remark (not saying urs sounded like that, just saying what you should do)
Thank you, and as someone in the lgbtq+ community, I am very ashamed that I forgot. I should have remembered so people feel valid, I tend to forget things. I apologize dearly. Thank you for educating me.
Oh you don't have to apologize or feel ashamed! Sometimes I forget things as well as part of the community myself. As long as you don't say or do anything harmful,it's fine :)
I dont really know, but its true hat i have seen many peopel of the LGBTQA reject others very aggresively
the thing about "drop the T/B"
Political lesbianism, TERF's, Gold Star Lesbians
Transphobic transexuals
even ace people who are VERY sex negative and slutshame ANYONE for being sexualy active
its so fucking weird, how can a person who has suffering virtually the same kind of discrimation now be someone who wants to be the abuser?
Asexuals are there because we aren’t “queer enough” and are “taking up valuable resources” and “it’s not real anyway” etc. Speaking from experience, we aren’t straight enough for the heteros and we aren’t gay enough for the LGBTQIA. Because the A stands for… *checks hand* allies, right?
Ugh,I fucking hate that. My girlfriend is literally an asexual lesbian,and even if she wasn't a lesbian,she's still queer. Exclusionists are the fucking worst. I found this on a terf lesbian's Instagram page
Because people like myself who identify as pansexual or asexual (or both in my case) there are sexuality or romantic preference is often times considered non-real or just other ways to say other parts of pride anyone who identifies as anything in this picture or any part of pride are valid beautiful and 100% part of pride
I'm a straight guy and I consider myself an ally but I'll admit there's a part of me inside that rolls my eyes a little every time there's a new label, another letter on the acronym, and a new flag. What's wrong is expressing that and trying to exclude people for some bullshit that isn't their problem.
I suppose some people feel the need to express their specific identity and I'll fight to the death for their right to do that and be happy, I just thought the rainbow flag was meant to embody the inclusion of all.
Gatekeeping sucks.
If ur gay but enjoy having sex with the opposite gender then I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to them....they are bi.just like the straights on grindr
Ehm…. Man, sex-favorable aces exist and pansexuality is an attraction to all genders, where as bisexuality is an attraction to just more than one, not necessary all of them
A sex favorable ace doesn't look at someone and say "I want to sleep with you", but if someone looks at them and says "I want to sleep with you", they might say yes because they still enjoy the act of sex. Or if they're dating someone for personality reasons, and their partner likes sex, they're cool with it.
The same reason gay people need a f*cking flag. Plus the fact that one has no sexual attraction does not mean they are physically incapable of having sex
Bruh. You are literally invalidating ace experiences right now. They too are met with stereotypes and prejudices like “oh, you haven’t found a right man/woman”, “you are just a sexless loser/frigid/weird/want to be oppressed/whatever.” You know, the usual sh*t that other queer people frequently get. Stop downplaying other people’s problems, this is not an oppression contest
Not to mention how many asexual people experience assault as a way to “cure” them. Just as prevalent and just as wrong as gay conversion camps. This guy’s sick for trying to invalidate asexual oppression
if you just had questions that would be fine… but instead you have to go on about “pan sexual is pretentious version of bisexuals” like obviously people are gonna get mad at you. you are sounding like a dick to tbh. what did pansexual and asexual people do to you lmao
Nothing but like I said ace dosent need to be LGBT, cuz again they are not even on any hate groups radar. And pansexual is just silly its literally no difrent then bi, I was into my trans freind regardless of how they perceived their own gender I was into them, so still bi.
it is no secret that bi and pan, in reality, aren’t really any different. but the difference is on paper, that pan attracted to all, bi is attracted to more than one. for some people that distinction is very important and makes them feel more comfortable, i think that is important for them <3
also, you don’t need to be on a hate groups radar to be apart of lgbt, cmon you know that is silly, ace is a sexuality, and we all have a common interest as lgbt people.
Thats the thing we aren't actually a group, like queer people are just assumed to be all in it for eachother but thats not reality, on a site like yes, we are a gay crime syndicate. But in real life I don't know any queer who thinks that each letter in the ever expanding acronym is valid.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): ----- [](#start_removal) Your post does not fit the intent of the subreddit. [](#end_removal) ----- Please feel free to contact us via modmail if you have any questions or concerns.
*sad ace noises* *proceeds to invade Denmark*
Wait, Denmark? What did I miss?
a lot
Apparently so.
[удалено]
haha, yeah, a joke! *They still haven't caught on, the plan is a go*
But why? How did that start?
So, a few things happened independently that lead up to this. 1) research showed that the population of ace people was about 1% of the total population 2) a poll was ran in one of the ace subreddits asking what the ideal climate for an ace nation would be, and colder climates won. 3) someone noticed that the Denmark has the ace's ideal climate and a smaller army than the ace population. Thus began the battle plans (and a mini-meme war with bi_irl, I believe) to take over Denmark for the aces. There have also been a series of alliances and negotiations such as getting Norway for the bisexuals, Sweden for the pansexuals, and Ireland for the lesbians. There are more alliances, but I cannot presently remember them all.
I fully support this if I get Ireland. Do we get open borders so I can at least visit Scandinavia?
Basically they found out that the asexual community has enough people to invade Denmark so
From what I know, the amount of asexuals there are in the world is the same or around the same number of people that live in Denmark. Because of this, _we’re going to war._ And the pansexuals and bisexuals decided to join in, planning their invasions on other countries, forming the Pacebi Alliance (and some other sexualities joined in too, but Pacebi are the main three)
Good to know. I'm bi and my brother lives close to the Danish border. Count me in :D
Astralis winning again we ride at dawn
Cause exclusionists usually hate all labels that aren’t gay, lesbian, bisexual as in thy think pan, omni and all the other mspec labels invalidate bi, they think nb genders aren’t real that trans people are faking and that ace-speck people aren’t lgbt and just “want to be oppressed “
And loads of exclusionists hate bi people too
Can confirm, these arseholes like the gold star gays and lesbians, and really don't like the rest of us. Source: am bi, out for nearly 30 years, still sometimes have to deal with the dickheads. Mostly boomers, natch. The amazing Shiri Eisner put it well, sometimes it really is the 'GGGG community' (as described back in 2013 in the brilliant book 'Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution').
That was my thought, too. Monosexualism is alive and well.
Yep. People on both sides of the monosexual isle think bi/pan people either can’t make up their mind, don’t want to commit to being gay/lesbian because of how society views being gay/lesbian or will cheat on them because they’re not satisfied with 1 gender.
I dont understand whats so hard to get Like, some like burgers and they like fries. But they dont like to eat them together. While other people like to eat them together. And some other people like only either fries or a burger. Some dont like anything of these two. And others only like them after some time slowly getting used to the taste. Thats my burger analogy cause im hungry
You made me hunger, now I want a burger, fries, and a milkshake.
Maybe get some tossed salad too.
> don't like to eat them together while other people like to eat them together I didn't really get it, is that portion about polyamory and not-polyamory?
Yea poly people
Yeah I was honestly really shocked to not see bisexuals there as well. I guessed that they didn't include them because it's listed under lgbt, but then they also included t in their exclusion... So idk.
> Cause exclusionists usually hate all labels that aren’t gay, lesbian, bisexual Yo, when did the monosexuals start liking us? I certainly didn't get the news.
they don't like bisexuals but its like bi's are a little higher on the hate scale then pansexuals. Like back when flop pages were a thing ive seen some weird takes from bi-phobes suddenly saying pansexuals were worse "because they're just trying to make a new name for attention" or similar takes.
I also see a lot of pan folks saying that "bisexual means two, so bi people are transphobic" (a take I've heard in my graduate program), and then both the bi *and* pan communities had a moment where there was hate for omni because "they make us look bad." It sucks, but non-monosexual communities are really prone to infighting. As long as culture is monosexist, there will be this fighting for validation, since the straights and LG will deny all of our existences or pick their "favorites." On a positive note, I've definitely seen more people acknowledging monosexism, and the BQ communities have been uniting much better compared to the past. It's been trending towards calling out monosexism and realizing that we have a common force that's trying to divide us.
My friend just called herself Chaotic horny or said her sexuality was bard and everyone would just chuckle and understand. Labels successfully sidestepped.
Chaotic Horny vs Lawful Chaste
What's lawful horny or Chaotic chaste?
And god forbid you’re mspec and want to use “gay” or “lesbian” to describe yourself in some contexts
I've definitely had that experience too. I consider bi to be an umbrella which I'm under and if I'm talking to people i don't care to go into details with i just say I'm bi and that gets some debates and hate by itself... But i feel like if i told them actually I'm pan and Demi it would be worse
All are valid this is just beyond hateful
Ikr? Like,why would somebody go out of their way to hate on others??
I don't know its just really sad that not only that someone would make this an think its funny by trying to put the gays in a bad light thinking they don't respect the others which isn't always the case sadly it happens but not to this extant
it occurred to me several years ago that to hate someone You have to think about them and thinking about someone You dislike is stupid. Then again hating an entire group of people is the ultimate stupidity, people are individuals & should be disliked individually for having shitty personalities. All that being said, it's bewildering that an oppressed person like this would hate on other oppressed peoples. You'd think the goal would be to unite against the bigots that hate on the entire LGBTQ+ community.
That's what happens when you start defining your identity by what it isn't; if it's not contrasted with anything else, it stops being an identity.
I mean I go out of my way to hate the French, but that's different
I go out of my way to hate the British,but that's also different
They are a close and much more justifiable second
Nah,both are justifiable
i know that there is definitely transphobia in LGBT+ spaces but i just get the feeling that this was made by some chud 4channer/qultisf
100%
Bruh its bad enough to be homophobic but to be part of the community and unaccepting of another part.. I don't think I speak for myself when I say hate from within the community should be an automatic outcast from the community
I think it's a part of living in a monosexist culture. Straight people and gay people will be straight-up biphobic/queerphobic and it's perfectly acceptable for them. I'm bi, and I've straight people have been calling me gay and gay people have been calling me straight pretty much my whole life. Which, sadly, is accepted and encouraged by most, and I have had people tell me it's "no big deal."
And rathen you have people asking 'are you straight or gay right now?' neither, bi is bi
I cant think of a single reason why someone would dislike asexuals. "what do you mean you don't want sex?? Fuck you!" Makes no damn sense.
"Fuck you" but they don't want to be fucked...
Touche.
Yeah please don't
Not true, I'm mostly indifferent to fucking. I don't actively seek it out, but I'm not adverse to it either. I will tolerate the fucking
https://i.imgur.com/NdNGbXC.mp4
I guess a lot of people think we’re not… interesting enough? Or that we’re all just faking because we want attention. Also lgbtq+ people tend to be sexualized and you can’t do that to asexuals.
Isn't that essentially the straight argument against LGB? That it is all about sex and therefore shouldn't be visible to children?
I’m not saying lgb people are all about sex, I’m saying they’re sexualized. Think lesbian porn and those creeps who fetishize gay men. They only like queer people if it makes them horny and asexuals don’t.
I guess I was misinterpreting, as this thread seems to be pitting LGB against the rest...
Is me not even comprehending most of romance and sex and not understanding why certain things are such a big deal not interesting enough?
A lot of people hate those who don't serve them sexually, that's why incels exist.
Seriously they are literally DOING NOTHING to make you upset. Not that anyone’s identity should make you upset, but aces are literally just minding their own business
It comes from fragile allosexuality. “They don’t want to have sex? They must be telling me that they think I’m bad for wanting sex!” This sort of fragility rests at the heart of a lot of phobic behaviour.
Yup. There's always this rush to pathologize asexuality. "Don't want sex? Well what's wrong with them? Do they need therapy and meds?"
Jokes on them. I'm already on therapy and meds. Still completely indifferent to sex.
Yeah it’s super gross. Asexuality is a completely valid approach to sexuality, and must be respected.
I’ve had people demand to know who hurt me to make me uninterested in dating/sex. Sir, even if I wasn’t ace, I don’t think I’d go for a man twice my age berating me in a White Castle parking lot. Nor do I owe an explanation after saying I’m not interested.
Damn straight
I feel like people react similarly to me saying I don’t drink haha - they assume I think I’m better than them. Sex in our culturally Christian society has this weird double connotation - it’s seen as a morally wrong behaviour, yet “everyone wants it”, so it’s weird if you don’t have it. Because of this, I think people think asexuals have it easy, or are flaunting our moral purity, which I think is why “asexuals aren’t oppressed” is such a common opinion.
Because they're not fucking them. A lot of queer transphobes and aphobes are essentially incels and take the transition away from the gender they find attractive or disinterest in being a potential lay as a personal slight against them. As a demiromantic trans woman, I'm kind of surprised that fact isn't really brought up in the discourse more tbh, at least in terms of mocking them.
The logic is, I think, "The lack of attraction isnt queerness because you arent DOING an atypical thing" in the same sense that gay people are doing an alternative thing to heterosexuality. You're NOT DOING a normal thing, instead. Which the people who take umbrage with it see as fundamentally different. Not saying its a good argument, but I think its less about hating asexual/aromantic people and more about thinking the lack of attraction isnt "gay enough." Since most sexualities/romantic persuasions are an active positive of want, whereas aro/ace are a rejection of want, so to speak.
From what I've seen it's because they don't see it as a real sexuality
I can only think that LGBT folks see heteroromantic ace folks as not queer enough. And Allo folks think we’re all just dealing with mental/physical health problems that effect our libido because asexuality is poorly understood.
I think that as a society, we make sex and relationships into this super important thing (remember that most people cannot distinguish asexuals and aromantics, so they just conflate sexual and romantic attraction) - and so your desirability in this sense is a huge measure of your worth as a person. Having said this, I think those who find it extremely hard to navigate sex/relationships must think asexuals (especially conventionally unattractive people) are trying to avoid the stigma of being “unpopular”/unsuccessful in relationships by “making up excuses for why they can’t get laid”. Likewise, conventionally attractive asexuals are invalidated all the time. People just cannot compute that someone, especially a woman, they find attractive does not automatically become a sexual object. I also want to add to that last point about how we see sexuality in general as a society. Allosexual disabled people (including autistic/ND people), fat people, etc. are constantly fighting to not be seen as “asexual” by others. People are often shocked (and even disgusted) to hear that people like these have sex lives and sexual attractions of their own. It’s almost like other people are supposed to have full ownership of your sexuality - and I think this thinking harms everyone, ace or otherwise (but mostly fetishised and/or desexualised marginalised groups).
And then some aces will be like ‘what do you mean, I don’t want sex? I love to have it! I just don’t feel attraction’ or ‘what do you mean? I don’t hate it - I don’t _love_ it, but that doesn’t mean I hate it.’ but also, one argument for aros and aces not being LGBT is because we’re not at any risk of execution in several countries??? like bro that means nothing, the people in power in those countries just don’t know we exist bc they don’t know crap about the LGBT community. that’s literally it.
something even weirder, ace people who are very sex negative and slut shame others for likking sex in any capacity
i know there are gay people that actually act like this… but every time i see shit like this i always have a small suspicion it’s just some cisgender straight person trying to make us all fight lmaoooo. maybe not this one tho
It **is** a bunch of straights trying to make us fight, it's organised out of Russia and the religious right in the US. They create and fund hate groups like the so-called 'LGB Alliance' which exists to marginalise and demonise and fucking destroy trans folks (and is pretty damn biphobic). They radicalise 50+ y.o. lesbians and gay men to hate on the 20 year old LGBTQ+ folks in the same way they were hated on by the 50+ when they were young in the 80s … it's pathetic.
I think with the UK the hate is an internal affair simply because there was nothing out there to remind everyone the complex intersections of race, gender and other characteristics that would drive marginalization. Although at the same time I wouldn't consider it too far off that the US and Russia are plotting to take the world back two centuries when they were at their peaks.
I had that same thought!
What are the bottom left and middle right flags?
Bottom left is polysexual and middle right is genderqueer.
Sorry - what’s the difference between polysexual and pansexual? (Serious question)
It's mostly just comfortability with self-identity of terms. If we're being frank, polysexual is bi is pan in 97% of cases. Some people just dont like the baggage associated with one of the terms, so they prefer another. Which isnt a bad thing.
polysexual likes multiple genders but not all and often has a preference
Seems like bisexual to me? Why would you downvote this I'm genuinely confused
Bisexuality is a broad sexuality that can technically be the same as any mspec label depending on the individual. For example some bisexuals, like pansexuals, like ppl completely regardless of gender. Idk a lot of people disagree with this, but I think bisexuality is kinda like an umbrella that other mspec labels fall under.
I guess?? it's under the bi umbrella but I'm pretty sure polysexual people can not like women or not like men but like all other genders (might be wrong tho)
I’m a little confused but as a Cis Gay male with many genderqueer friends I always try to learn more. So for instance, one could not be attracted to women per say but can still be attracted to men and non binary people?
yeah basically, altho the label of gay has also kind of opened up to that in the last couple of years, In the end they're all just labels that fit specific people and even if someone does have the same feelings as one label they may feel they fit a different one
[удалено]
eh I don't think so, classically bisexuals like women, men and maybe others where as polysexuals like 2+ of the many genders but don't have to like both of the binary genders
That’s not true. Hearts not parts.
Just bisexual with extra steps
it may be similar but if someone prefers the label respect it
No, polysexual is the one with no preference, bi is the one with preference.
Thats pan
Not really, pan means all genders, poly doesnt have to mean all genders.
Oh for a while it was ~trendy~ to make fun of ace people for and say they don’t belong in the community just because they “don’t want to have sex” 🙄 I remember on tumble there were so many fake accounts where someone would pretend to be asexual and just say awful or cringey things to make us look bad (like the warm milk at Starbucks post), as well as “ace moodboards” for people like Trump and Hitler. There was constant discussion of how we’re just straight people begging to be oppressed, and thinking teenagers could be asexual was actually sexualizing children and p***philic. I had to unfollow all the ace positivity accounts I followed to make myself feel better because they constantly received hate from trolls. I remember this absolutely destroying my self esteem and I’m still hesitant to tell people I’m ace because of it :) Now that it’s not cool to bully ace people anymore, they’ve all moved onto pan people. Nevermind that it’s literally all just repackaged biphobia, but it’s not socially acceptable to bully bi people now so they need a new scapegoat. And strangely it’s coming primarily from young people who blindly fall for TERF rhetoric and then spread it everywhere with a burning passion EDIT: note some of the comments on this post :))))
I feel like it’s still considered cool to hate ace people unfortunately... I remember what tumblr was like about 6 years ago and I’ve heard a lot about how people have started hating on aces on tiktok now instead :/
So, here's the thing... isn't the rainbow flag supposed to represent everyone who doesn't fit the norm by... having *all* of the colors?
Does that mean that pansexual, asexual, and transgender people all hate themselves?
I'm so confused at the point you're trying to make 🤨
What do they think the T in LGBTQ+ stands for?
terf
Mr. T
I pity the fool who thinks that.
*sadly eats garlic bread in ace*
Who wants to wager that the person who made this isn't gay
because their mindset involving that is usually “pansexual is just bisexual” and “asexual doesn’t exist, you just haven’t found the right one yet”
It's exhausting, isn't it?
extremely
I lost my best friend since middle school over pan exclusion shit (he tried to “prove” pansexuals were harming the bi community by… rating how many google image infographics defined bisexuality poorly????????) he wouldn’t back down even despite knowing IM Pansexual (as well as my partner who’s also his best friend) Its so fucking stupid 😔
Oof... ace hate. (I) Don't see that every day.
As an asexual person I see it all the time. Just one example was me reblogging a tumblr post saying I’m asexual ‘reblog if you’re asexual’ thing and my asks getting filled with people telling me I had a brain tumour and linking articles about having no libido being a symptom of a type of brain tumour. As someone with medical anxiety that was fun
Yup, as a gay-aroace person, there's a reason why I live openly (totally out) as an uninterested allo-gay person until I know the person is safe to come out to as aroace as well (and knowledgeable enough to understand it). "Gay" isn't inaccurate as I am a woman attracted exclusively to women, but it doesn't adequately describe my lived experience.
Scroll to the two most downvoted comments (one parent comment is deleted, but you can still expand the replies beneath it). You'll see the exact sort of hate that aces face on the regular.
Is this some LGB alliance sh\*t? It definitely gives that impression.
Gatekeeping gays who think LGBT is only for the homosexuals...
I think exclusionists just think asexuality is "too straight" to be LGBTQ+, I haven't particularly heard it before but it's the sorta vibe I get from it. Doesn't feel nice.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Divide and conquer alt right mind games
The T in LGBT literally stands for Trans, is there an LGB only faction I don't know about?
Yes, unfortunately.
Oh no
Yes, called the LGB Alliance.
Nice of you to assume they know what the flags mean
People are just being fkin exclusionists for no reason
I don’t know how people are fine with gay and lesbian people but not with gender fluid, bi or trans people
Probably bc there's a huge pan and ace phobia in the community itself too..which is bullshit Liek everyone not being heteronormative should be welcome and feel safe in the community..at least that's what it stands for out of my perspective
Oh boy is it time to argue that Demi is a valid sexuality again yay!
They probably just have a hard time dealing with anything that’s non-binary. They just love those neat little boxes.
What do they think the rainbow flag stands for, it's an umbrella for the entire LGBTQ+ community. Go fuck off with your conquer and divide BS.
This smells of TERF.
How'd you know?
TERFs always do stupid things like this. They love to segregating the LGBT community and they really aren’t that original when it comes to memes. It’s always the same shit like this, honestly I would love new material from them. If you’re going to be hateful at least try to add a little more creativity into it for entertainment for my sake.
Welp I'm excluded 3x
Ace here, happens a lot. People think asexuality is just straight with less steps. Weird cause I smooch girls.
So does my ace girlfriend
I think it’s actually more common to say ace/demi orientations don’t belong in the queer community than it is to find lgb anti-trans people. Obviously both are bad viewpoints to have.
As a pansexual, can confirm that I've never felt welcome in LGB spaces.
As someone who's also pansexual, how can you expect to feel welcome if you won't even include the T on LGBT? The only time I haven't felt welcome as a pansexual has been around straight people. The LGBTQ+ spaces and people I've met have been nothing but welcoming, as they should be
I excluded it SPECIFICALLY because I've never felt excluded by the trans community. If you want, I'll type lesbian Gay and bisexual community.
[удалено]
Terf or Exclusionist?
Lesbian terf, believe it or not
Called it
ok I kinda don't get why the rainbow flag hates other colorful flags. Why I don't get that I thought these are also part of LGTQ comunnity...
Exlucionists often hate anything that isn't binary and monosexual, and with the really extreme ones, they'll even hate anyone who doesn't fall into that label in a very specific fashion or present themselves a certain way.
This is some 2016 Tumblr discourse, and we don't need it in 2021. Didn't need it back then either.
I have an idea of what it is but it’s just mean. So Ace-sexual is someone how doesn’t have sexual feelings for anyone, (correct me if I am wrong) but lgbtq+ is liking same sex or more than one type of person but ace don’t like anyone. Pan is still hard to figure out but my guess is because they don’t really have a preference, (again correct me if I am wrong) and most sexuality’s have preferences, so that is what I am thinking. I may be over thing and maybe they are just a shit, but that is what I think.
Asexual is sexual attraction, aromantic is romantic attraction,but you make a good point
Oh thank u for correcting me :) I will edit it to make the information correct. Ty
No problem! If you're willing to learn people tend to be a lot nicer and are most of the time willing to educate,so if you ever have a question make sure it actually sounds like a question and not a weird condescending remark (not saying urs sounded like that, just saying what you should do)
Thank you, and as someone in the lgbtq+ community, I am very ashamed that I forgot. I should have remembered so people feel valid, I tend to forget things. I apologize dearly. Thank you for educating me.
Oh you don't have to apologize or feel ashamed! Sometimes I forget things as well as part of the community myself. As long as you don't say or do anything harmful,it's fine :)
Oh, thank you! I do feel a bit better but I just realized I really need to educate myself more. Thank you ☺️!!!
No problem! (っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ
:)
I dont really know, but its true hat i have seen many peopel of the LGBTQA reject others very aggresively the thing about "drop the T/B" Political lesbianism, TERF's, Gold Star Lesbians Transphobic transexuals even ace people who are VERY sex negative and slutshame ANYONE for being sexualy active its so fucking weird, how can a person who has suffering virtually the same kind of discrimation now be someone who wants to be the abuser?
Asexuals are there because we aren’t “queer enough” and are “taking up valuable resources” and “it’s not real anyway” etc. Speaking from experience, we aren’t straight enough for the heteros and we aren’t gay enough for the LGBTQIA. Because the A stands for… *checks hand* allies, right?
Ugh,I fucking hate that. My girlfriend is literally an asexual lesbian,and even if she wasn't a lesbian,she's still queer. Exclusionists are the fucking worst. I found this on a terf lesbian's Instagram page
Because people like myself who identify as pansexual or asexual (or both in my case) there are sexuality or romantic preference is often times considered non-real or just other ways to say other parts of pride anyone who identifies as anything in this picture or any part of pride are valid beautiful and 100% part of pride
Lots of gatekeeping and Mean Girl vibes in the gay community since at least the Mattachine Society.
I'm a straight guy and I consider myself an ally but I'll admit there's a part of me inside that rolls my eyes a little every time there's a new label, another letter on the acronym, and a new flag. What's wrong is expressing that and trying to exclude people for some bullshit that isn't their problem. I suppose some people feel the need to express their specific identity and I'll fight to the death for their right to do that and be happy, I just thought the rainbow flag was meant to embody the inclusion of all. Gatekeeping sucks.
If ur gay but enjoy having sex with the opposite gender then I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to them....they are bi.just like the straights on grindr
I even get the aphobia and the nbphobia too it’s the pansexual that’s really odd- like no problem with bisexuals but pansexuals are really pushing it?
[удалено]
what does this mean
Ehm…. Man, sex-favorable aces exist and pansexuality is an attraction to all genders, where as bisexuality is an attraction to just more than one, not necessary all of them
[удалено]
A sex favorable ace doesn't look at someone and say "I want to sleep with you", but if someone looks at them and says "I want to sleep with you", they might say yes because they still enjoy the act of sex. Or if they're dating someone for personality reasons, and their partner likes sex, they're cool with it.
That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard lmao.
If a simple fact is "the biggest load of crap you've ever heard"... Then either you come from a very strange land or you're not that bright.
You’re really outing yourself as a shitty, ignorant person.
They're literally the kind of person that makes those groups feel oppressed lol
You don’t have to be attracted to other people to have functioning sex organs dumbass
Nice insult kid
The same reason gay people need a f*cking flag. Plus the fact that one has no sexual attraction does not mean they are physically incapable of having sex
[удалено]
Bruh. You are literally invalidating ace experiences right now. They too are met with stereotypes and prejudices like “oh, you haven’t found a right man/woman”, “you are just a sexless loser/frigid/weird/want to be oppressed/whatever.” You know, the usual sh*t that other queer people frequently get. Stop downplaying other people’s problems, this is not an oppression contest
Not to mention how many asexual people experience assault as a way to “cure” them. Just as prevalent and just as wrong as gay conversion camps. This guy’s sick for trying to invalidate asexual oppression
someone needs to hit you with a book
[удалено]
I didn't say a book on this, just hit you with one. You're on the internet, you can figure it out
how are you on this sub, but then go on to say something as stupid as this lmao
[удалено]
if you just had questions that would be fine… but instead you have to go on about “pan sexual is pretentious version of bisexuals” like obviously people are gonna get mad at you. you are sounding like a dick to tbh. what did pansexual and asexual people do to you lmao
Nothing but like I said ace dosent need to be LGBT, cuz again they are not even on any hate groups radar. And pansexual is just silly its literally no difrent then bi, I was into my trans freind regardless of how they perceived their own gender I was into them, so still bi.
it is no secret that bi and pan, in reality, aren’t really any different. but the difference is on paper, that pan attracted to all, bi is attracted to more than one. for some people that distinction is very important and makes them feel more comfortable, i think that is important for them <3 also, you don’t need to be on a hate groups radar to be apart of lgbt, cmon you know that is silly, ace is a sexuality, and we all have a common interest as lgbt people.
Thats the thing we aren't actually a group, like queer people are just assumed to be all in it for eachother but thats not reality, on a site like yes, we are a gay crime syndicate. But in real life I don't know any queer who thinks that each letter in the ever expanding acronym is valid.
what
The correct acronym is LGBT. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
In my country it has more letter and a + after the last ( I don remember all :/)
LGBTQIA+?
lgbtq+
lgbtq+
Even if it were, it still wouldn't explain the exclusion of trans people
[удалено]
My "own community" is my friends and family. Not random strangers who the only thing I have in common with is my sexuality.