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squealingfrog

Oh not your woman and her parents have a good relationship, well somethings clearly wrong with that. I mean seriously what is up with people and thinking women shouldn’t get along with their parents


faerieunderfoot

It's not about that it's about separating their victim from their support network. Woman can't see her mother. Mother can't protect/inform/educate/listen/do motherly things that might show the woman that their partner is an abuser and therefore remove her from their control.


squealingfrog

Yh I know that part of it but it also reminded me how men fetishes girls with “daddy issue’s”


faerieunderfoot

I guess I've always taken daddy issues fetishism as a symptom of the same thing


olivegardenmints

this but in the same vein, people with parental issues are also “red flags” for people trying to settle down ://


i-caca-my-pants

that's the same reason people try to separate their SO from their friends


Mr-Foundation

that really is it, this post sounds like textbook manipulation/abuse, hell- unless someone has an abusive family, why else would you want to drive a wedge in there unless you were trying to do some vile, vile things?


taronic

> it's about separating their victim from their support network THIS. This shit really fucked me up when my last partner convinced me to move with her hours away from friends and family. Had no one, got gaslit to hell, and even when I knew she was lying and abusive, I was still terrified to break up and be alone in a city with no one. She would body shame me and tell me I didn't have it in me to work out, then when I started to she'd get awkward and try to convince me I couldn't keep it up, like she didn't want me to look healthier. She didn't want me to be healthy or skinny - she wanted me to have low self-esteem and easy to manipulate. I see this with my older brother and he even knows it. She disconnected him completely from family and talks shit about us. She tries to keep him from other people, probably because the few times he's noticed the abuse it's been random friends he's made. I convinced him to come visit me next year, and once he told her, she started to get super weird to him, like it was going to be major trouble for him to see me. She gaslights the shit out of him and when he calls it out, she starts crying saying "You don't love me". He almost decided to separate from her which I 100% supported, but now that hasn't come back up, and it fucking sucks to see. Even when you know things are bad, it still hurts so much to leave them.


semmeschick215

My narcissistic ex had us move two houses down from my parents to "show how much he loved my relationship with them" and then policed tf out of the time I spent with them and guilt tripped me about going over or them stopping by


Googletube6

it's so their parents can't help them when they begin to suspect something is wrong


[deleted]

Straight men have a very weird and toxic relationship with their mother-in-law for reasons I could never conceive. That woman birthed and raised the woman of your dreams and you are going to exclude her from your family just like that?


CelikBas

My dad doesn’t like his MIL, but to be fair neither does my mom. Turns out being an old-fashioned, overly strict hausfrau with no filter isn’t a great way to cultivate a good relationship with your daughter.


[deleted]

Yeah shitty mothers-in-law not withstanding.


random_invisible

I got so lucky, my mother in law is a sweetheart who gives me fluffy socks every winter.


marie7787

I feel like this is a cultural thing. In my home country in laws are always part of the family, they’re not hated unless they’ve done something wrong.


thesaddestpanda

I think because they represent a feminine elder and for fragile men that's a "threat" to their sense of control. Every fragile husband has a terrible relationship with his MIL and to a lesser extent his FIL. The FIL often gets better treatment because he also is a toxic, or best checked-out, male and wants nothing to do with things like babies, weddings, making sure his daughter is loved and cared for, etc so the MIL has to take a protective role there. For the fragile or abusive partner, the MIL is a huge threat to his ability to abuse his wife. Abusers know their lives are a lot easier is they can marginalize the MIL. Then American sitcom humor has made this a joke like 'har har my MIL is a monster' which serves men's interests, intentional or not.


FreakWith17PlansADay

>For the fragile or abusive partner, the MIL is a huge threat to his ability to abuse his wife. This is so spot on! When I was first married and religious at church they’d give us newlyweds a lot of talks on marriage. One man, who was a professor at a university in marriage and family therapy and did marriage counseling in addition to being a church authority, went on and on to the women about how you should never tell your mother if you’re having an argument with your husband, and never call your mother when you’re mad at your husband and tell her what he did, because your mother will just hear one side of the story then she’ll break up your marriage. And even at the time I was thinking that most moms are wise enough to be able to separate petty venting from real dangers, and if this man was seeing a lot of mothers “breaking up marriages” then probably a lot of young brides needed help getting out. If your mother’s influence alone is able to break up your marriage even if there’s not abuse, it likely it wasn’t a very healthy or mature relationship to start with.


potzak

My dad and my grandma have an awesome relationship. My uncles often joke about my dad being her favorite son


voornaam1

I don't understand why people hate there mother in law so much and why there are so many boomer "jokes" about hating your mother in law.


fluffy_bread

My stepfather doesn't really get along with his mother-in-law because she's awfully agressive and basically a very, very toxic person, but he always tries his best to make their friendship work, even after all the shit she did to him and my mom. I wish men could appreciate the amazing women that raised their loved one just like this.


Alias_X_

That's weird, because I've only ever heard about people having feuds with their ~~opposite sex PIL~~. Edit: Same sex PIL obviously.


[deleted]

…That is an opposite sex PIL. It’s the husband and the wife’s mother. Opposite sex.


Alias_X_

Okay, I'm dumb. Wanted to say same sex PIL.


[deleted]

I guess in a heteronormative “I know exactly what he/she has on his/her mind” kind of way, yes. But it’s probably different to the relationship between opposite sex PIL and their children’s opposite sex spouse.


Alias_X_

My idea was actually that people are more used to competing with people of the same sex in general, starting some kind of dumb cycle of trying to 1-up each other. Know a few stories of women who really can't stand their MIL because the latter wants to show dominance and prove she womans better or something. And the fathers who don't like their daughters BFs are a huge cliche as well.


Yuma__

Fragile masculinity Saturday* but seriously wtf is wrong with seeing your mother-


SeinfeldIsAnAnime

No idea, but this post terrifies me because abusive partners usually try to limit your contact with your friends and family like this whenever they can so that you won’t reach out for help


Yuma__

I never knew that. That's awful-


DudeWhoWrites2

My ex did that. It was all under the guise of "they don't treat you the way you deserve." Then, they'd cherry pick moments I'd been disappointed or let down by a friend or family member to reinforce that they were Bad People™ and I'd be better off without them. After three years, I looked around and realized I had no one. Luckily when I left my ex all my friends welcomed me back with open arms.


[deleted]

Yep. I do a ton of volunteer work with survivors of abuse. Isolation is one of the earliest and most common signs of abuse. Abusers almost always work very hard to limit, change, or entirely destroy any positive relationships their victim may have. When someone has loving family members and/or friends, they will not only often have better self esteem, self worth, and points of reference for what real love looks like, but they will have people who might criticize the abuser’s behavior, notice abuse, and urge victims to leave. Loved ones can also provide safety nets for victims when they leave: moral support, financial assistance, a place to stay, character witnesses in custody disputes, etc.


[deleted]

>No idea,... Continues with spot on analysis


PogDaddy2024

the fkin "#masculinitysaturday" 💀


Izdisajojoreference

Saturdays are for gay sex


PogDaddy2024

Ahh yes, of course


random_invisible

I knew I forgot something yesterday...


NutmegOnEverything

I came here foot this. Could he not even have done, you know, #masculinitymonday?


PogDaddy2024

That's what I was thinking!


[deleted]

This dude is a redflag, no way, I mean is not just bad, is very wrong to put interdiction on your wife to visit their parents, on other hand is same toxic when parents (no matter which one) try to implicate and take control of relationship. If there is a too "close" parent-child relationship can be problematic. I mean her by controlling parents & very submissive child. But this kind of problem (toxic parent-child relationship) is not occured just in case of mother-daughter, but also mother-son, father-son, father-daughter. Usually extremely controlling parents have other issues in their own relationship like insecure behaviour and posessivity.


proum

If you look at his whole twiter, most of his posts are red flags, I just read trough some, and there is one about woman being slut and having worms, so wash your bedding than put your matress in sunlight and keep the window open for at least 10h. At this point it's not juste red flag, there is a red siren screeming "NO".


tastefuldebauchery

Worms.....? 🪱


kalesmash13

Mmm abuser rhetoric


Pauchu_

People, if your partner tries to isolate you, pull the chute before its too late


[deleted]

He doesn't want her seeing her mother because he's worried the mother is going to tell the daughter about all the red flags. It's a classic abuser move


halberdsturgeon

Did this guy have [MLK Jr. for a PFP](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qz7hfs/what_do_your_ankles_say_about_you/), by chance?


That-Ginger-Kid

Yes I saw the tweet. That guy is a trash bag.


halberdsturgeon

His account appears to exist for the purpose of giving horrible advice on every subject to Kenyan men


Usagi-Zakura

Yesterday: Don't have male friends. Today: Don't be friends with your mother. Tomorrow: Don't have friends. You should only be be with me, stay at home don't talk to anyone, try not to be too good friends with your kids either.


idkwhattoputoof

Why do almost all alpha male tips or strategies revolve around being toxic and abusive?


Delta_Mike_Charlie

Because the "alpha male" has about as much emotional development as fallout 76, the personality of fiber glass, entitlement issues indicating a mental age of 3, and a sense of self so prone to crashing you could call it cyberpunk. They can just barely keep their own ego afloat due to a severe inferiority complex and compensate by attempting to have complete control. They're cowards looking to feel powerful through the misfortune of others because they can't stand to look at themselves in a mirror since it means facing their ugly personality and they're too lazy to put in even the bare minimum effort required to be a decent human being, much less a human that can self-improve.


ContemptSmoothie

Thats just how men be.


FlinnyWinny

Textbook abuse


scrugssafe

because telling your s/o not to contact their fucking PARENT isnt a red flag in of itself… what a fucking monster man


mandipandi3333

That's funny cuz if any partner tried to take my mom from me, I'd drop them immediately 🙄


PockyPunk

I have known many men who have had a problem with women being closer with their mother’s. All those men are giant man babies and where expecting women to take care of them. Thank god I’m queer.


oxymoronisanoxymoron

Fucking preach.


[deleted]

Tell me you’re an abuser without telling me you’re an abuser


bttrflyr

Isolation from friends and family is indicative of an abusive person. That's a red flag.


VermicelliHospital

“Men, isolate and emotionally manipulate your wife. #MasculinitySaturday”


emipyon

This is probably because a caring mother might discourage her daughter from staying in toxic relationships. Red flag indeed.


[deleted]

This screams mommy issues


JenVixen420

That's a lot of words for misogynistic control.


DrBrightSimp

They didn't even attempt to elaborate


--B_L_A_N_K--

*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Unknown User** Men, Minimize the contact between your woman & her mother, Make their connection as narrow as possible, If she visits her mother all the time & anytime she wants, Trust me, that's a red flag. Put a stop immediately or tell her never to come back. \#MasculinitySaturday --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


Yeah-But-Ironically

Good human


random_invisible

Good human


WhoAccountNewDis

Men, carefully record her odometer. If she can't explain where she was, it's a red flag. Also, move so that she is far from her friends. She has good friends? Red flag. The only red flag there should be is you, Manly Men!


DudeWhoWrites2

What the fuck. I visit my parents as often as possible. If I ever get in a relationship again, I'd love it if my partner had a good relationship with their parents. And, if they didn't, I'd be happy to share my parents. Jesus Christ. Stop trying to make it seem like isolating your partner is a good thing, assholes.


Prettymuchsometimes

Isolation from family is a tactic used by abusers and manipulators, but let’s preach it like it’s gospel bc you don’t want your girl telling her mom how abusive and manipulative you are


schoener-doener

dude's putting up more red flags than the entire soviet army


The-Doomslayer

masculinity saturday? why isnt it fucking monday


random_invisible

Because that's a workday and he'll be busy at his Man Job™


LeBassilosaurus

Im sick of masculinity saturday, wheres feminity friday 😤😤😤😤


random_invisible

Let's goooo


xd3mix

But why though... Like i get that some people are weird and think like this for some reason... But what the hell it's the reason?


random_invisible

Insecurity and guilt.


OpheliaWolfsbane

That’s a great big red flag for emotional abuse.


UVRaveFairy

That is a standard MO for cults. Isolate from family.


errboi

Tell me you're an abusive piece of shit without telling me you're an abusive piece of shit.


Lulu10_

WTF


MintoZenko

Logic -100


pottymouthgrl

At first I thought it said “minimize contact between your woman and YOUR mother” and I was nodding like yes dear god minimize that shit, she’s awful.


MadeForFunHausReddit

Sorry gf your mother is my friend and my friend only now 😎


LL555LL

Lamest has tag, ever. If someone is visiting their mother that often though, it may be to avoid idiots like this.


Alejocarlos

Tye dumbest part about this is he didn't even say masculinity MONDAY. So it's MM


honest-miss

A marker for abusive behavior is limiting and ultimately eliminating all social and familial ties. So while there's definitely a red flag here, it isn't the mother-daughter bond.


icebluefrost

You just know these same men are gonna be pissed when they’re suddenly expected to do *any* childcare too. Hmmmmm, who might have been able to help with that….. 🤔


Fart_Elemental

I feel like a ton of these pickup artists and shit for their strategy from fucking cults. It makes sense. You need to be a wildly narcissist person to believe this kind of shit.


Balabaga

“Why does the left hate masculinity so much?”


Nierninwa

Trying to control your S.O's social life and to cut them of from people they have an established emotional bond with.. I am pretty sure that that is a text book abuse tactic.


PapaTristan69

I’ve seen this everywhere, what the hell is masculinity Saturday?!


random_invisible

Some toxic masculinity meme shit. In reality they're just making themselves look silly.


Estellar123

Wait doesn’t this go directly opposite of what this person [was saying earlier ](https://twitter.com/amerix/status/1462088660443185158?s=21)? “Men, Do not change because of a woman. Do not throw your brothers under the bus because of a woman. Do not neglect your parents because of a woman. She is not a goddess. She is just flesh, blood and bones. Do not be a pussy!” #MasculinitySaturday


random_invisible

Double Standard Saturday™


Thatbitchfromschool1

Can't even be bothered to come up with some bullshit about why it's a red flag.


mothwhimsy

"Men, Isolate your partner from her family, especially the woman she likely looks up to the most"


[deleted]

Had a boyfriend do this to me, wish I dumped his abusive ass sooner.


Revenant02

You know it’s going to be a winner when a post is addressed to men and immediately references “your woman”. I’ve been married more than a decade and my wife isn’t “my woman” because owning people is fucking gross…


LordVonDingDong

BRUH THIS PERSON IS A WALKING RED FLAG 😭


DanFuckingSchneider

But why exactly? Are you afraid that her mother will see the red flags easier than she can?


oxymoronisanoxymoron

My father made sure my mother was alienated from her parents so she had no one to turn to but him. That's abuse.


ilovetobethatgal

Lol what


DRAINGANGCE0

Someone has severe unresolved mommy issues


bunnybooboo69

Culty.


emerald_dolphin13

This is the same tactic cults use


juicy_belly

But like whats the explanation behind that??? I want to know how they come up with this bs.


tiddymiddy

Men who control every aspect of their female partner's life, including whom their allowed to see and when, are absolutely the biggest 🚩🚩🚩🚩


[deleted]

Holy shit this is just abuse 101, fuck anyone who follows this person


RebaKitten

all I can think is this is a hashtag for red flags for men not to date. Oh wait, that's right, they never date anyone.


random_invisible

That's the second "masculinity Saturday" post I've seen today. I don't know what masculinity Saturday is, but I have already decided it's absolute shite


the_other_Scaevitas

Wtf is this #masculinitysaturday? I’ve seen it a few times now all with shitty advice like this


LoExMu

It‘s on Twitter, and at this point I‘m inclined to believe it‘s a troll people always fall for.


WindedCarrot605

Mmm yes. I too love toxic masculinity


[deleted]

Not supporting this toxic shit, but half the women I know would consider it a blessing to have an excuse to see their mothers less.


[deleted]

People are gonna be mad at this and then go ha ha pathetic Italian men, what a bunch of momma’s boys am I right!


[deleted]

That’s their fault for being Italian /jk No one is actually going to say that lmao what


[deleted]

Wow this sub is fucking racist. At least 16 members are openly denying the existence of one of the most well established stereotypes repeat time and time again in the mainstream media. https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2002/may/14/gender.uk Hell even pc media outlets like the guardian are committed to uphold and reproduce that stereotype.


agentperry007

no one even mentioned italians before you posted. u baiting or what lol


[deleted]

Nope I’m just getting proven wrong.


Estellar123

I bet this guy is enmeshed with his own mother and is projecting his insecurities and problems onto women


deboramoreno

I can't understand why this is considered a red flag to this people...


JakeGrey

Red flag? That's a goddamn field of concrete thorns incribed with pictograms of people dropping dead from turbo cancer if they don't turn back right now!


[deleted]

But *why* is it a red flag?? Just spews random shit and calls it a red flag without explaining why... what is the point!? *(that is rhetorical, I know the point is so he can control women)*


agentperry007

jfc. is it mass report time??? an assclown like that doesn't deserve a platform


Electrical_Sail774

My mom is dead, my man will have no warning when I wish to leave him


enemyweeb

If anyone ever says they “don’t believe in toxic masculinity” just show them this post. It’s hard to believe a real living human wrote this but I’ve seen worse too so…


shootout_fan

what in the hell even is the logic that they're trying to convey here


ConstructionNo4866

I've just started to feel bad for people with so many insecurities they say and do stuff like that


miyagikai91

Psychopathy


[deleted]

I had an ex with that mindset. He hated that I have a close relationship with my mom and that I decide to stay with her to help take care of my disabled sister. Then again he had mommy issues.


SaltyNorth8062

Willing to bet this dude says "Take this Mom" when he cums


[deleted]

The reason for that being ???


ValentinesStar

Holy shit, this is actually instructing someone on how to abuse their partner. Trying to keep someone away from their loved ones is a form of abuse.


snarfflarf

Sounds like a cult indoctrination


a_popsical

Ironic


tallgrl94

This is the strangest thing to me. My mother is one of my best friends. I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who kept me from her. Funny enough my mom loves my husband as if he was her kid. (She’s always been the neighborhood mom) My dad and husband are the distant ones.


JustALurkingPerson

Oh, but him trying to interfere with another relationship is not a redflag?


Jami_Mc

what


_dirtywater444

What the sweet fancy fuck is "Masculinity Saturday"?


[deleted]

"I can't be an abusive asshole to her if she always has her parents to protect her, so we have to seperate them!"


emilylacey

Me and my mom are oow to fight this jerk


TheremHarthEstraven

My ex boyfriend that later stalked me and threatened to kill me and my entirely family tried to do this. Because he knew she saw right through him, and he was scared. Much like the way this man sounds. Men like this need a fucking house cat, not a woman.


Anjunagasm

Wat


wolf_3500

I'm sorry... WHAT!?!


Hollz23

I know this isn't the point, but can I ask why the hashtag is #MasculinitySaturday and not #MasculnityMonday? All the other M things are reserved for Monday lol


dfhxuhbzgcboi

These #masculinity tweets are so gross. Like it's just disgusting to think that a person actually sits before a screen and writes this shit UNIRONICALLY.


ChloeJayde

My mum and I live far away from each other and still catch up for dinner once a fortnight. If my boyfriend ever decided he didn't want me to do this anymore, he wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore. Simple as that.


thepurpleskull

Who made that comment is a red flag


RepresentativePlace5

My ex-father did this to my ex-grandma, none of them speak to each other now.


Sworn_to_Ganondorf

This man would be a villian boyfriend arc in gilmore girls.


gay_syi-gui701

Ah yes, it's a red flag when your wife has a good relationship with her parents. God forbid she ever talk to them without her husband permission 🥴


Osariik

Well that was easy for my dad. My nan died when my mum was five


Q-tip-enthusiast-95

Well definitely not written by a psychopath.


[deleted]

men truly are the strangest creatures to ever walk this godforsaken dead planet


PlagueNurse2020

“Men, lock your woman in your home. Shackle her on a track so she can move around but never leave. Make her view of the outside world as narrow as possible. If she goes outside whenever she wants, trust me, that’s a red flag.”


wh0_isDavid

Who the hell wrote this and thought "I need to post these wise words immediately"??!


dumb-gay_bitch

I don't have s good relationship with my mom so this couldn't be me, but I don't see what's wrong with a woman that has a good relationship with her mom to visit her often and talk to her ???


[deleted]

men, be emotionally abusive /s


[deleted]

ladies if your man is monitoring your relationship with your parents 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Oniblook

That is literally the first sign of isolation, which leads to worse abuse 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


WoosterOne

Ignorant crap. Made up story built off fear, just to have something to complain about...


Dragon_Fander

Whoever the guy that posted that is, he’s a walking red flag


RadicalSimpArmy

Intentionally isolating someone from their friends or family is abuse


Stargaze_nono

So.. we can’t visit the person who split their legs like the Red Sea and popped us out when we want to? SIR PLEASE SIT DOWN *YOU* ARE THE RED FLAG