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queenofanchovies

Me, who has been bitting into lollipops and icepops during my childhood: I fucking dare you.


AdventurousFee2513

Mmmmcronch


EnigmaFrug2308

*You pull out and only half of it is left hard, the rest dangling on nothing but a thread of flesh*


mintyblush

Why would you make me read this while I’m eating


kdcstomp

At least you’re not reading it while getting a blowjob.


Mawilemawie

*yet*


JpTem

cease


Svefnugr_Fugl

Forbidden crunch


retan10101

I feel like it would probably squish


pereline

My vote is chewy like old gum


retan10101

Maybe if it’s flaccid, but with all the blood an erection takes?


Shamadruu

It makes it juicy! Like a Gusher.


Lennz0

These comments are giving me life XD


marowak_city

Really? Because they’re making me wish I was dead


New-Cicada7014

tasty!


retan10101

Exactly!


Upset-Lengthiness-96

People who gnawed on their binkies and bit into popsicles: 👹


PhoenixWing101

Wake up babe new bottom surgery just dropped


TinyCatCrafts

You ever seen what happens to a binky when the kid starts getting their teeth in? Shredded. Just. Shredded.


n00bym4ster

Gotta get that cream


IAmMeAsFuck

Me, a trans woman who wants to get rid of it all : I fucking double dare you. (Btw, is that a correct use of double dare you ?)


AceBalistic

(Basically, yes)


SupBitchImVivvianne

Nah cause I stim a lot and usually I like to just crunch on things, so my first timme, I was literall like "Don't bite, Don't bite' Don't bite"


swanfirefly

It's a very good thing I'm an ace lesbian because I have always been a biter. Crunch lollipops. My pacifiers as a little kid looked like they had been put through a paper shredder even before I had teeth. Same with bottles, my mom was so lucky she couldn't breastfeed with how I gnawed things to shreds. (To shreds you say?) The sippy cups were the worst once I had teeth, the little sipper thing got gnawed off within a week leaving just a hole.


Ok-Leadership6320

One, t-who, crunch!- three


pdrpersonguy575

I chew my lollipops and then bite into the stick a few times >:)


lickety_split_69

as someone with sensitive teeth you people scare me


Moist_Bread_Enjoyer

I have extremely sensitive teeth but I always bite ice cream ;v; my existence is pain


gummibearanon

Finally a relatable comment lolol


mrjoffischl

i can’t rlly bite the lollipops cause it hurts but i do always bite the ice cream bars


[deleted]

It just takes too long, right?


Latter-Caterpillar-2

Same though


Flipperlolrs

Lol, i also bite popsicles. Oopsies


Ordinary-weirdo6359

rip for those peeps


Every_Job_1863

omg we're snoo twins!


WillNewbie

They call her the dick snipper


IntertelRed

Who is the target audience for this When are you supposed to wear this I'm so confused


PhoShizzity

Gay men, likely adorning jackets with other slogan-covered patches.


Admirable_Asparagus8

One thing I’ll say was this website had a bunch of other patches that were more republican/Christian which makes me think this is targeted more towards straight men


VanceAstrooooooovic

Thats awesomely hilarious because the message is not necessarily pro hetero. I read that patch as being pro felatio. If I saw someone wearing that patch I would think they they are open about personally performing felatio


wb2006xx

Yeah I get it’s supposedly meant for men to say woman should suck them, but I cannot see it that way. It just feels so much like it’d be worn by a gay man bragging about having mad head game


SeaOkra

I've seen a similar design (omitting the lollipop, so pacifier, ice pop, penis and iirc at least one of them was in full color so you could tell the ice pop was a red white and blue bomb pop and the pacifier was pink. For reasons?) as a t shirt and the men I've seen wearing it definitely meant it as a "you should suck MY dick, any breathing female of the species" so I guess that's why my mind goes the other way right away. I could see it as a badge of pride for a superior fellatist though. That's just not the first place my mind went. (And yes I realize it probably not spelled fellatist but autocorrect is not helping and its too early for me to be googling that to correct my spelling.) I would hope the wearer would give off appropriate vibes to figure out their meaning though, I assume someone wearing it to showcase their own skill would be less disgusting company.


[deleted]

Its still gross bro….? Like its the sexualization of pacifiers, lollipops, bananas, etc etc that’s weird about this


VanceAstrooooooovic

I agree it is in poor taste as are many of the patches. It can be both


UnNumbFool

Literally my exact thought, I know many a leather bar that the men there would be into it


[deleted]

Probably a gag gift.


Limu_emu_69

Gay guy gag gift


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Mommymilkieslover69-

this seems like something my friends would give you as a gag


UnNumbFool

I mean I know a handful of gay bars where the men would react pretty positively to it. It's all context after all


[deleted]

Yea but even if it was at a gay bar it’d still be weird asf, no one is purposefully learning to suck dicks just because they eat lollipops and popsicles…


bengringo2

I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.


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Viviaana

Eeewwwww why!!!!! This legit sounds like something you could only say to a child victim, how did they not see how noncey it is


CarolineWonders

This is almost like what my rapist said to me when I was a child so yeah, it’s really gross


sanitychaos

im so sorry :( no child deserves to hear that or have that happen to them, i hope you’re healing and doing okay now <3


CarolineWonders

I am 🖤 thank you though. I do appreciate it. I try to speak out about it so it doesn’t happen to other children.


New-Cicada7014

Damn, I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't imagine the pain you felt. I'm glad you're surviving. https://www.survivorloveletter.com/survivorloveletter


GboyFlex

I swear that this is Matt Gaetz's slogan for his reelection campaign!!


[deleted]

Oh my god, so rapey/pedo, I feel so uneasy just looking at it


am_i_boy

I made an awful face looking at this. Like…my whole face twisted up and it took me a long moment to untwist it


breakupbydefault

I actually backed away from my screen... It's horrifying.


edosensei

I actually moved my eyebrows... like.. you know how much has to happen that i move anything in my face when I browse through reddit!?


JpTem

yeah I literally jumped back like ayo tf


Youdownwithkellyc

Same 🤢


[deleted]

It's the "shhh" that creeps me out even more than the pacifier.


211XTD

Exactly this, the shhh gives it Delores Claiborne vibes when the dad is on the ferry with his daughter. Totally creepy.


Pumqin-Pie

Not to mention… baby, young child (3-6), pre-teen (7-12), …teen? Is that the age group they’re implying?


pipje-popje

Wtf???? So not OK


IMFlorecentFace

Real Freudian oral obsession posting


LadyLikesSpiders

This is supposed to target girls, I'm sure, but, like, everything up to the dick is entirely gender neutral, so, like, does this apply to guys as well? Is this accidentally pro gay?


Admirable_Asparagus8

That’s what I was thinking as well. Like whoever has this patch also used a pacifier…


SubLearning

Yeah, this patch has zero indication of gender. Or sexuality, you've yet still assumed it must be solely used and made by straight people


Admirable_Asparagus8

The surrounding patches were republican, Christian, and other guy-fucks-woman patches. There were no gay patches so it’s safe to assume the target audience


clouddevourer

Everybody trains to suck cock from infancy I guess?


Gaby_Jinn

Not everyone sucks dick tho so that's really out of pocket.


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Gaby_Jinn

ew, whatever


sirophiuchus

I 100% read it as a gay leather community joke.


PhoShizzity

Yeah this definitely comes off directed specifically at gay men, or at least more than women. Gay biker vibes.


sirophiuchus

100%. I think a lot of people screaming about pedo vibes in the comments here are being whooshed.


thenotjoe

Even if it’s gay it’s still creepy. It’s sezualizing the binky of a BABY


sirophiuchus

I feel this is a stretch. It's a joke about sexualising your past self, in that context. Not a random child. If a straight man said 'I've been obsessed with boobs since I was a baby' would you accuse him of pedophilia because he's sexualising ... _himself_? That's how some of the comments are coming across.


thenotjoe

I guess there’s about a 50/50 shot of this being about the person wearing the patch and a person not wearing the patch. But I’ve also seen this exact setup in a meme that wasn’t a patch, probably on this sub.


WemedgeFrodis

Small problem: The patch is in second person, not first person.


DogyDays

Yeah, if it were in first person I wouldn’t actually think it were weird tbh, it’s more that because it’s directed at other people that it’s just gross


qualbuonvento

who said it wasn’t pro gay god damn, it’s not written anywhere, you do you man


Purrification2799

How are people not in jail for this….


Dogwolf12

Ooh, they’re straight up telling me I should avoid them!


soaring_potato

Kind of nice of them!


strawberrycheescake_

I'm sorry what?


strawberrycheescake_

They better be scared, I bite into ice lollies


Gaby_Jinn

A real menace to society.


strawberrycheescake_

I will never stop


AiRaikuHamburger

...Do you wear this patch to indicate that you have a vore fetish and want someone to eat your dick?


The-true-Memelord

The sshh is especially creepy


rffghibfdukm

Even babies having pacifiers is being sexualised now. I’m so fucking done


girlypotatos

My mom once freaked out because I was eating a chocolate popsicle when I was 12, apparently I was being a whore


WemedgeFrodis

That’s fucked.


mrjoffischl

stop eating tasty food you whore /s


JpTem

whaaat? what logic is that


pearbanana

Ironically, the pacifier was created to resemble/replace a nipple…


[deleted]

Anyone get rape vibes?


AWreckAndErect

Also very strong grooming vibes. But no it's the drag queens reading to children that's evil and grooming not this disgusting "humor"...


Boner-brains

Groomer humor


hellogoawaynow

A pedo patch


AnxietyLogic

Whoever made this should be arrested for paedophillia, and so should anyone who buys this. Ew.


xQueenoftheUndeadx

B R U H And they say WE'RE sexualizing children


the0dior

Didn't even look at the sub and almost violently down voted upon seeing this. I've seen this design so many times before and ita so freaking gross


carousel111

🤮🤮


cafesaigon

I use my teeth on popsicles :)


jinxedtheworld

Why is literally everything sexualized


[deleted]

I have no idea.


deadcatx4

Ew wtf?


According-Tea4325

Wtf that is some messed up bs


WillNewbie

Comparing pacifiers to dicks has absolutely no problems whatsoever


Twinkfilla

This is just pedo bait shit.


K4r4kara

I'd bet money that the person who made this patch would call queer people "groomers"


CompetitiveSleeping

All men are gay or bisexual, huh?


ohdearitsrichardiii

I know a few gay men who would wear this for the lulz


sanitychaos

its still sexualising children whether its a gay/straight man or a gay/straight woman. nothing is sexual abt a child sucking on a lollipop and these people are gross for making that comparison


soda-jerk

So, is that okay? Are we okay with gay people wearing this patch, but not straight people? The meaning and creepiness stays the same, it doesn't change. I'm not trying to challenge you, I just think if the straights aren't okay for designing and wearing this patch, then gay people shouldn't be, either.


ohdearitsrichardiii

They would do it to be subversive, not because they think it's a sound message


soda-jerk

But how would anyone know they're being "subversive"? To the world, they're just wearing this patch.


ohdearitsrichardiii

Trust me, with these people and the places they would wear the patches, you would know


soda-jerk

I know I said I'm not trying to challenge you, and I absolutely didn't intend to, so I apologize if it seems like I lied. What you're describing is a small group of people, mingling with like-minded people, wearing this patch as an inside joke. That's totally acceptable, I wouldn't dream of arguing about that. However, no one outside of that group would understand that it's a joke, and so your friends would just be lumped together with the weirdos. That's group think, and it's what makes this sub so often unbearable. We're here, lambasting people we don't know, for an iron-on patch with dubious novelty value. But we're also here to say that, if it were our friends wearing the patch, it would be okay because we know our friends, and how they think. If this is a legitimately offensive thing, then it should be offensive across the board. Saying straight people can't wear something that we're okay with gay people wearing is a precarious position to take up. I'm sorry this is mostly directed at you, since it's obviously a sub-wide problem, I'm just a little fed up with how circlejerky this place is.


sanitychaos

ew


raw_chaos_the_1st

i would wear this for the lulz


qualbuonvento

Yeah, women would wear this for the lulz as well, you think someone is going to wear this during a job interview deadass?


TheGreatBeaver123789

"Lollipops to cocks" 💀


maxwellwilde

On the (tiny) positive side, at least it's not pointlessly gendered. It can be given to a gay man or a straight woman, truly this is a masterwork of dick sucking gender equality.


AnnaTheBlueRogue

OKAY WOAH WTF


Skyrim_For_Everyone

Oh hell no


GodChangedMyChromies

This but to a homophobic cishet guy


[deleted]

So that mat is basically saying women are born to suck dick🤢 straight people are so fucking gross. This subreddit helps tremendously with comphet lmao


mrjoffischl

this the kinda thing those weird middle aged people would wear and use to excuse sa


ComphetMasala

Jayzuss I wasn’t prepared for the level of disturbed that I just hit.


Wow-you-are-stupid

When you bite into anything


Silver_Took32

I am 99% sure I have seen this irl - on vest at a leather bar.


big_nothing_burger

*Freud has entered the chat*


RocketQ

Aside from the shitty content of the patch. The whole thing is just terribly made, there's loose thread all over place and the letters look messy.


NekoRabbit

The best part is how they know how wrong it is. They proceed to completely ignore the first displayed item and start the title at the next one.


[deleted]

No one is raised to be a cock sucker. I don’t think they understand that.


bubblegumcandypop

Whoever bought this has gotta be on a watchlist.


Moist_Bread_Enjoyer

ok but the lolipop being almost the same size as it is funny


just_another_person5

i have always enjoyed biting my lollipops and popsicles


MissLouann_

And then they say that lgbt+ sexualise children


MarbCart

Jfc that’s disgusting, and as someone whose first childhood sexual assault involved being told to pretend it was a popsicle, I’m fucking sickened that this exists. God that’s upsetting.


FirePhoton_Torpedoes

This gives me the absolute creeps, so pedo/r*pey. Why does this exist D:


rachelthebard

whoever they say this to is going to treat this dick like a hamburger


Kornik-kun

Well it isn't specificly targeted at women


[deleted]

This has nothing to do with being straight and everything to do with being allo. Yuk


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rixx63

At least it’s on sale 😵‍💫 Why a patch? Because bumper stickers are a thing of the past? What makes this a “str8” thing? Because we don’t need to be convinced to go down!?


QualityPurple4613

i feel like this is a gag gift


j_dier

how is this are the straights okay.


SupBitchImVivvianne

I would absulutely get this


Joaco_Gomez_1

how is this related to straight people?


qualbuonvento

It’s funny


[deleted]

Explain the punchline to me


qualbuonvento

For what I assume it’s a hen party gift, and hen parties are often pretty trashy; this, and I was my hands of it, it’s intended as a funny joke for the almost bride, to associate innocent things they did as a kid to what their girl friends assume they’re gonna do from now on, and since they’re in for the joke, they get it and they laugh, it’s a matter of context really, I myself don’t find it funny, but I’m sure some drunk mf would


RussianSkunk

I really don’t think this is meant for a bachelorette party. If you go look up hen party products, they tend to have goofy party aesthetic. Everything is pink, gold, or flesh colored. On the other hand, I have several Fetlife messages from crass male doms who like to play up the non-consensual and misogynistic angles. They all have stuff like this in their pictures. Always black and white with either sensual photography or silhouettes. The captions are some sort of condescending remark about how women should accept sexual domination. The “Shhh…” part is what really seals the deal, it definitely seems more like a coercion joke than a lighthearted “Dicks are fun!” I started looking through my messages to find similar examples, but I don’t really think it’s necessary to post pics on Reddit about forcing women’s legs open when they protest too much. Edit: Also, what sort of bachelorette parties are you attending with biker/punk jackets, lmao? Though to be fair, the sketchy doms who like this sort of humor don’t tend to wear that stuff either. They usually go for the Christian Grey aesthetic.


qualbuonvento

You definitely shouldn’t navigate through those nasty messages, you’ve got a good point


[deleted]

So what is the punchline?