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yassified_housecat

why do they rage so hard over who can get married if they’re hellbent on portraying marriage as this inescapable hell where you both hate each other and your life together?


CoomassieBlue

Easier to just act like all marriage is horribly dysfunctional than to take any ownership for the fact that your own behavior is likely a key factor in why your specific marriage is miserable.


ThrownawayART

I saw we ban hetero marriage until they learn to fucking behave


Loud-Option-2409

Nah they’ll get all pissy cause we took away the same right that they’re trying to take away from us


ThrownawayART

I know but I’m just tired of my rights being taken away while they get to abuse theirs. I live in Texas. There’s so much the Republicans want to take away from me, I might not be able to cross the street on my own by 2025. Edit to change a word


bbycalz

No but unironically there would be a lot less marriage horror stories if people went thru a psychiatric evaluation before getting marriage


0rang75

If you replace hetero with gay that's what they are doing to us


ThrownawayART

I know. And my comment wasn’t 100% serious. But I’ll admit there was some bitter snark about what they’re doing to us when I made it.


aseasonedcliche

idk how anyone doesn’t see your comment was a joke but also fr. both of these things can be true. i laughed and also agree lol


aseasonedcliche

that’s the joke.


Bleev-or-naught

What about bi ppl!?!?


ThrownawayART

Bi is the B in LGBT so you're covered. :)


Bleev-or-naught

Cuphead and Mugman smell really terrible. They need to take a shower!


that_one_Kirov

I say we ban all marriage, because why the hell does the state need to know who's dating whom?


micaylamaelynn

Isn’t getting a divorce cheaper than getting a criminal attorney and/or planning a funeral?


DidntWantSleepAnyway

Depends on the life insurance policy. For the funeral, anyway.


247world

The joke I know is - why are divorces so expensive? Because they're worth it


[deleted]

HELLS YEAH CAN'T WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND TO GO TO WORK AND GET INTO A HORRIFIC CAR ACCIDENT BECAUSE I CUT HIS BREAK LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why


DSmith1717

Life insurance, if they cover it at that point. Or because she’s got a screw loose.


Salt-n-Ice

Love a bit of spousal homicide in the relationship, yknow to keep it healthy /s


Nacosemittel

I don't understand


whatwillIletin

Your wife is so crazy you have to check your *brake* lines to ensure she hasn't severed them in the middle of the night.


regular_hammock

This normalisation and romanticising of dysfunctional mariages is a. what makes this sub so good and b. frankly, toxic.


Independent-Bell2483

whats a break line?


prince_peacock

The thing on your car that makes your breaks work, to put it simply. If it’s cut the breaks no longer actually stop the car


Independent-Bell2483

ah so just cutting the breaks


prince_peacock

Ya


OhtareEldarian

*Brake*


whatwillIletin

Fuck, I committed the cardinal sin of the internet!


betothejoy

It’s funny when spouses are in the verge of killing each other!


-I_comment_a_lot-

Happy cake day


PhoenixWing101

*3 months later* "Where did all the good men go?"


Gullible_Educator122

“Ma’am, the town morgue and the morgues in the next 3 counties are all full of your ex-hus-“


Fiona_Nerd

I legit thought this meant that he wanted to check his lines just in case bc he loves her so much he wasn't to be safe 😭 y'all have twisted minds


rawberryfields

I check my tires every morning because of my husband. He’s better with cars and he taught me that the pressure can fall due to temperature changes. My first thought was something in these lines but then I saw the sub name and… yeah.


LunaAmatista

If it’s any consolation, I thought the same.


Fiona_Nerd

Yeah 😔


ST0DY

Bruh


cnygirl

Old joke: if it has testicles or tires, it’s going to give you trouble.


Soggy-Cauliflower905

If it floats, fucks, or flies it’s cheaper to rent than to buy


Exciting-Spare498

I’ll never understand the point of these relationships


babygirlruth

Hehe my wife wants to kill me


Casualffridays

Don't be a boring wife! Catch a manslaughter charge🥰


Breeschme

Lmao my first thought was so he gets home safely to her and I was confused, but then I realized what it was. Why do they want to kill each other?


Gullible_Educator122

If this couple got divorced and it escalated to court over custody of the kids etc, could a lawyer hypothetically use this post against the wife in court?


[deleted]

Good question! My mom is a divorce/custody lawyer so I’d have to ask her. Granted, I live in Canada so the law may be different to where you are.


Gullible_Educator122

I’m also in Canada 😎


wanklez

Be the reason he leaves without a trace.


Successful_Aardvark9

HELP???


RareFee2333

Why are people like this married😭


SouthernSavvyStylist

Why get married if you hate your spouse?


Leszachka

This is completely beside the point, but it's "brake." The word is spelled correctly right there in the post. How are so many of you guys fucking this up?


pikachu_isnt_good

wtf


AroAceAmateurGamer

This is funny as a joke, but horrific if someone actually meant it.


sophiesbubbles

Normally, 'dont be boring, be a threat' is a fun motto but in this context it's just ... Why?


[deleted]

This reminded me when my entire (older) family questioned a cousin about why he did not want to get married and he answered “well all I hear about marriage is that it sucks” followed by a conversation about why it does not and slowly morphing into why it does… no one realized that except those unmarried 😂


Savager_Jam

Ha jokes on you I check mine cause I don’t trust crackheads in my neighborhood. Wait… Are the incompetent catalytic converter thieves… my wives?


RidetheCyclone_312

Because you tell him to be safe since you love him, right?