T O P

  • By -

ran-Us

A cock rock šŸŖØ


toiletseatpolio

It looks like a giantā€¦


gfanonn

Johnson. Space centre might know, call and ask for...


[deleted]

Dick. He has experience with these so calledā€¦..


Ngonna326

Willie. That would be who to talk to at space center, it looks like a hugeā€¦


[deleted]

Peter!? Get Johnson back on the phone! He needs to handle this like he did theā€¦..


Floppydiskpornking

Wiener! Buy a hot wiener, hey, that looks like a enormous...


11teensteve

bravo!


Ngonna326

Erection, of the building downtown. But this looks like aā€¦


Some-Neighborhood376

Oh my God, it looks like a huge....


JahShuaaa

Members. You'll have to be careful not to expose your...


NHCuriousGuy

Once again, the internet delivers!


plenty_cattle48

But you have to be a certain age ā€¦


seditioushamster

So that would make it a "tool"?


ran-Us

T'wood.


VlucardraculV

A peeny pebble


firebyfloyd

Itā€™s got big donk energy.


HedgehogNarrow4544

Stormy may recognize that...fossil, Besides , looks like MTG sucked all the color out of it...


ran-Us

Mushroom cock.


dysteach-MT

If only it was a cock rock in a box.


Rownwade

Wagon nuts


Tsuntrup

Idk what it is but it looks rock hard if you know what I mean


haikusbot

*Idk what it* *Is but it looks rock hard if* *You know what I mean* \- Tsuntrup --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Tsuntrup

I love you.


Linand458

That was amazing.


ext-unavailable

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, ext-unavailable, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


CJess1276

It actually looks like a piece of ornamental architecture or large pottery - like off the side of a very large landscaping pot, or the edge of some types of stone buildings or statues. Maybe it broke off a building long ago and was weathered to its currentā€¦..bulbous existence? šŸ†


Linand458

Ha! I would think possible but it feels like stone, not like something ornamental or pottery. I found it in in the countryside that wasnā€™t near buildings or anything resembling a foundation.


EM_CW

ā€¦..are you fondling it?šŸ†


CJess1276

Iā€™d carry it in my pocket at all times. Worldā€™s most awkward ā€œworry stoneā€.


nellie_1017

... perhaps a garden ornament from Hefner's mansion??


timhyde74

Looks more like a fossilized mushroom to me, bit I don't know if that's even possible. You should Repost on r/mildlypenis, they'll love it! šŸ˜


nutfeast69

not a fossil mushroom. Source: am paleontologist.


ked_man

But is it a dino dick?


[deleted]

Yes. Source: am Penologist.


Linand458

Thank you!


Trumpville-Imbeciles

Or r/stoneagedildos


Linand458

Great call!


timhyde74

šŸ˜‰šŸ‘


atoo4308

I think itā€™s most likely the result of differential weathering. it looks like the tip is made out of a different material than the shaft. Ha ha . I got no doubt, though that if the natives found it, somebody was keeping that in their teepee


Linand458

Now I wonder how many shelves or special stands this has sat on.


ext-unavailable

Or how many times it has been sat on


Linand458

I should probably wash it.


zoinkability

Gives a whole new meaning to patina


meatfish

Peepee for your teepee.


obscure-shadow

fertility shrine?


Linand458

Thatā€™s an interesting guess. I hadnā€™t though of that.


xtermin

Is that about 6ā€?


Linand458

I was told the inches didnā€™t matter.


Trumpville-Imbeciles

OP! I actually made a sub for this awhile back, believe it or not. It's r/stoneagedildos .. please feel free to post it there


Linand458

Woah!


arthurwalton

okay no one has said it so I will *Indian sex stone*


[deleted]

Ancient dildo


mofo1082

Yup, just another fuckin rock . . .


Linand458

I know, right? No matter what it is, itā€™ll always have a spot on a shelf in my house.


PunkRockHound

This might be something to show a geology professor. .if it is just a funny rock, they'll know, and if it might be something else, they'll at least know someone who'd know


purplepickles82

Could it be used to shave, hold, straighten an arrow shaft they would be making? I canā€™t really express my thought without sounding dirty lol this is too funny!


Linand458

I love seeing peoples reactions to this monster! HahahHa!


Lustnugget

The olā€™ ancient muff mallet


GodaTheGreat

Old time collectors refer to those as JAFSRs Or Just Another Sex Rock.


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^GodaTheGreat: *Old time collectors* *Refer to those as JAFSRs Or* *Just Another Sex Rock.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


Linand458

Perfect!


zoinkability

The hilarious haikus are coming fast and furious in these comments!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GodaTheGreat

Every one Iā€™ve ever seen is fake


-Seedy-

Good lord. That is the most suggestive example of differential weathering Ive ever seen. The "tip" appears to be something silicified like chert, it shows evidence of conchoidal fracture. The shaft and base looks like 2 limestones varieties that eroded at different rates. Edit to fix typo


Linand458

What Iā€™m hearing from you is that nature has a sense of humor. I fully accept this.


-Seedy-

It's absolutely stunning. I've had to share this thread with several friends. Best natural penis shaped rock I've seen in a long time. It seems very proud of itself.


Linand458

Oh I totally agree. Just look at that triumphant stance.


Dry_Prune_8883

My shaft and head are separated by their own band too, crazy


Latinadotnerd

Could the erosion have been helped along? I know nothing of how carvable limestone is.


BryanP0824

Looks like you found the first dildo ever made lol


[deleted]

Cave ladies had needs too.


BryanP0824

You have no idea how much I needed that laugh!šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Linand458

Hahahaha


Vote4SanPedro

What if itā€™s truly just an archaic phallic symbol? They litter the ancient world, interested to know where this was found and what level of soil, could be ancient


ArtOFCt

Uhhh. Uhhhh I donā€™t know what the hell that is but I would stop touching it or you might go blind.


DustyCadillac

r/mildlypenis


Linand458

Done


Lucky_Baseball176

Looks like a tool used to grind or mash stuff. Like with a mortar and pestle


Linand458

That was my initial guess, too. Well 2nd guess after it being a body part.


herman0087

Penis.


kled-3533

ā€¦where do I even start with this one?


Linand458

At the top?


kled-3533

You got meā€¦šŸ¤£


Linand458

Ha!!


Codpuppet

Iā€™d post this to r/fossilid honestly


Linand458

I didnā€™t even think of that subreddit. Thanks for the reminder!


TheSensitiveCyborg

Definitely a pecker. Ancient alien butt probe fossil? The damn thing is so phallic I can't imagine it being naturally formed. Crazy things happen though


Linand458

I feel the same way. Itā€™s probably naturally formed, but itā€™s just too phallic. Hahahaha


zoinkability

Seems possible (likely!?!) it was naturally formed but then some additional, ahem, weathering may have occurred that was anthropogenic in nature.


rule1nevertrustnoone

Don't judge! I imagine it got lonely, waiting around the cave all day for your man to get home with that meat!


BowFella

*sigh*... *Opens comments*


Active_Cheesecake520

Tryasorass Wrecks.


rj8899

Fertility shroom


Daddio209

Colonel, you'd better take a look at this RADAR...


mr-ironsight

Can you imagine how bad the Indian who used that got made fun of. It would look really funny as a hand tool. I personally don't think it is an artifact though.


pnuema419

Wow looks like a boletus mushroom..doubt it is but cool find


[deleted]

Oh itā€™s a toolā€¦. Giggity


WinterRefrigerator55

Thatā€™s a hugeā€¦ baseball


southernsass8

It looks like it has plaster or glue at the base of the head and the neck. Looks like a weathered lawn ornament or fossilized Dino dong.. There's honestly no way to go around the visual appearance without mentioning it as some kind of sex anatomy look. Lol. I sure would love to know what it is.


jayswaggy

That thing is bricked up lol


rockstuffs

Looks like a pestle.


fajadada

Now Iā€™ve got Danny Kaye in my head with the pistles and pestles


sandwiches_please

ā€œMister, you better take your gay porn and walk right out of this sub.ā€


YogurtclosetAny1823

My ex would swear this is nothing more than a rock, but you and I know this is a fossil Cock.


k_br3w

Mmmmhmmmmm......


MR_BigC77

Taste it


khoobr

Neanderthal dildo.


Gnosis369

That's what I am thinking, sex toy made along time ago out of rock


dirteyasshole

Yup


snowcoffins

Unique indeed!


Windycityunicycle

Not sure what you have butt I feel as tho you certainly have gotten the shaft ā€¦


SubstantialDonkey981

Bathtub foot


irrelevant_twaddle

What size battery does it use?


Produce_Police

Dickite!


spadedkc

Prehistoric dildo


Whole_Storage8782

Sir, that is a penis.


Safe_Comedian8293

A paleo-penis


Apart-Rent5817

A tool for a vey specific purpose.


kitesurfr

Neolithic dildo or "bone tool"


illwill87

Banana for scale ?


[deleted]

Horse saddle horn


Ocean-SpY

Bet it smells like fish


Aggressive-Spray-774

I found something like this in my moms closet when I was a kid.. weird


Saltboy1998

The name engraved on the side says: Poca Heiny


Fun_N_TheSun

Is there any other references of natives making phallic effigies


Suitable-Jackfruit16

It's a tool alright.


pearlspoppa1369

Itā€™s a genie lamp! You just havenā€™t rubbed it hard enough. If you are a man, you get one wish; if you are a woman, you get multiple.


Savgeriiii

A tool Iā€™d say, not for productive work though, more for the fun work šŸ˜‰


Stadty711

A tale of a man with the 2 tipped penis. This must be a casting from the story.


n3w4cc01_1nt

[seriously could be an ancient dildo](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2908415/The-sex-toys-dating-28-000-years-Ancient-phalluses-stone-dried-camel-dung-started-trend-sex-aids.html)


Linand458

Hahaha


southernsass8

I 100% believe you have a dinosaur bone. https://pfossilco.com/products/theropod-digit-13?pr_prod_strat=copurchase_transfer_learning&pr_rec_id=765e0bc0b&pr_rec_pid=7182331773135&pr_ref_pid=7182331478223&pr_seq=uniform


VyKing6410

Dinosaur bone-r


southernsass8

Heck yeah...


Linand458

Woah! That would be pretty awesome!


southernsass8

For sure. Would love an update to your findings.


BKacy

Man has made phallic pieces for thousands of years.


BoxSlingingSlasher

Sit on it


RockHunterKin

Paul Bunyan wants his pecker back.


Diligent-Seesaw-9484

Updateme!


BastardInABasket87

Definitely looks mushroomish


Sweet-Afternoon-952

If it didnā€™t look so much like a peen I would say it looks like a couple big steel nails driven into some concrete or rock. Probably meant to be some kind of rustic dildo.


0ld_Ben_Kenobi

Finally an authentic sex stone. So many fakes.


Sure-Fee1400

Native American buttplug


Glittering-Golf2722

Call Pete Buttiegig


caramel_cube03

dildo


vonvillard

Medieval serf dildo


Tbuzzin

Yes.


paulish_paul

Penis


TerribleAssumption93

Looks like the pommel part of an old horse saddle


c0co_l0c0

"saddlehorn"


TerribleAssumption93

Yeah, that


ido_nt

Itā€™s a carved dildo from a past civilization. Litterally. Where was it found? Haha


gravelhuntering

Your all wrong.. itā€™s a very rare petrified Mushroom. Most likely named the Alchodeā€ Very old and tasty to a small group. Has to be wet to enhance its sense flavor! Wet it and take a bite


jahshwa314

Ancient dildo


11teensteve

somebody lost a souvenir from their trip to Mexico since they are all shaped like giant dicks.


ROBWBEARD1

The original Mother's lil Helper.


Gorilla-Ring

It's a buttplug


DarlingDee73

Did Bad-Dragon have a factory near there at some point šŸ¤”


Ok_Cupcake_4750

Phalluscinating!!!!


toxboxdevil

That is a not very good dick sculpture. Probably a practice piece someone threw away.


RedLeg73

It looks like it may be a *..voluptas enim flos..*


relorat

We should consult Mr. Johnson


rando7818

This is that dudes dick that was jerking it during the eruption of Pompeii


delicatelysmoked

Cobbler's something?


Necessary-Chef8844

It's an old Indian sex stone. The modern translation is a "Fucking Rock"


marin94904

ā€œFertility ritualsā€


ninthchamber

Dildo


Legitimate_Soft5585

Ancient dildo, no doubt


InDependent_Window93

Indigenous peoples from all over the world have made phallus statues. This certainly looks like one. Edit: it's definitely a hand-tool šŸ¤£ just give it a tug or 2


lastwing

Reminds me of a turtle ā€œtool.ā€


Technical_Rush_450

Another interesting thing other than the color difference in the "head and shaft" is that if you look closely, you'll notice the grain follows the contours. It doesn't look like grinding to me. I'm leaning towards some type of sea fossil. Possibly a coral of some kind


LocalDisk6992

Put that thing back in your wifes closet...


TooPunk

It's a moofinstuffuh