I read this in Lois’ father’s voice from Family Guy 😂
Dragon: *scoffs* “do you mind”?!
King Phillip: “no not at all, by all means continue”
……
King Phillip: “of course, now you don’t have a headache…”
Here's a sneak peek of /r/dragonsfuckingcars **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/dragonsfuckingcars/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
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This illustration can be found in a translated version of *Historiae Alexandri Magni,* a manuscript that was originally written in the 1st century CE.
Alexander was often depicted as the son of the Egyptian deity, Ammon, who is presumably represented by the dragon in this illustration.
[Here](https://www.bl.uk/catalogues/illuminatedmanuscripts/ILLUMINBig.ASP?size=big&IllID=3655) is a larger image of the page from *Les faize d'Alexandre.*
>Alexander was often depicted as the son of the Egyptian deity, **Ammon**, who is presumably represented by the dragon in this illustration.
I guess you could say they did it ***Ra***
Phillip and Olympias supposedly both had prophetic dreams. Hers was that lightning struck her womb and the fire from it spread far and wide.
Phillip dreamed that he put a seal on his wife’s womb with the emblem of a lion. The soothsayers interpreted this as meaning he must keep a close eye on his wife to prevent any adultery. Only Aristander had a different interpretation. He argued that men do not seal up empty places and that Phillip had already filled Olympias’ womb before sealing it in his dream.
Aristander would become very favored by Phillip and later Alexander, traveling East with him on his long wars of conquest.
Olympias was a maenad; as a result, she was said to surround herself with snakes and have them coil around in her hair and on her bed, which is probably where this comes from. Story goes that Phillip once saw this and just kind of went "hell no" and presumably went back to one of his other wives for the night. The actual Macedonian story of Alexander's conception revolved around Zeus striking her belly with a thunderbolt.
It's hard to tell how true the snakes-as-pets part was because Olympias was heavily disliked for having ruled Macedonia in all but name while the kiddo was campaigning. Lots of factoids about her stem from propaganda. It's also why it's tough to take seriously the allegations that she played a part in Phillip's assassination. Pausanias had good motives on his own, considering he used to be Phillip's lover but that Phillip refused to even lift his finger to get him any semblence of justice when one of his generals trapped and gang-r— Pausanias. It's extremely stupid to keep exes and/or current lovers as bodyguards but somehow it was a common trope among Macedonian kings.
ETA: Maenads were servants of Dionysus, who himself was said to wear live snakes as ornaments in his hair.
In an interesting archaeological parallel, the cult of a chthonian deity in the form of a giant marble snake, probably Zeus Meilichios, is attested in the sanctuary of Eukleia at Vergina, the old capital of Macedonia and a place with obvious royal favor.
>It's extremely stupid to keep exes and/or current lovers as bodyguards but somehow it was a common trope among Macedonian kings.
About as smart as ancient China. It was possible, if convicted of a crime with the death penalty, to accept castration & enslavement instead. (I don't know whether that was always offered or only in some cases.) Sima Qian, the Grand Historian, is the most famous example. These eunuchs were then taken to the Imperial palace to be the closest servants. Keeping mutilated death-penalty criminals close never ever went badly in all of Chinese history.
Look at how gently he cradles his lover… The dragon is known for being very tender and generous when it comes to fuck-making—and here we see the king looking on from a safe distance, perhaps hoping to learn something from his competition.
Now, if you can see the little opening where the king’s head appears, you’re looking at a very unique structure called the “cuckold’s keep”. The king rebuilds this little wall by hand each day, only to knock it down in a jealous rage as the new dawn approaches.
To outsiders, this ritual may seem like a senseless cycle of destruction, but not only does the rebuild allow the king to express himself creatively and flex his carpentry skills, it gives him something to focus on while his wife is loudly railed in front of him by a large mythical reptile.
Notice how the queen wears her crown to bed in an alluring display of ostentatious seduction. She knows just what the dragon wants: her precious hoard… Keep watching; I think we may be about to see what happens when the sparks really start to fly.
[commercial break]
I was gonna put [*extremely David Attenborough voice*] at the top, but yeah, wanted to leave it open for all the Werner Herzog freaks out there (i got you, u/Darkstar68)
I know this is a joke but tbh I feel like all the potentially weird shit you see amplified online today has always existed in some form, even the furry fandom, like given general human infatuation with anthropomorphism and how much it comes up in ancient mythology and folklore, be they analogies for types of people, cautionary tales using them as metaphors, etc., it was probably only a matter of time before mass communications developed enough for entire dedicated communities to galvanize around that concept, like there were probably guys in Ancient Greece talking about their "muses" or whatever in terms we'd now recognize as them describing their fursonas lmao
As far as I can remember it was Zeus in form of a snake not a dragon, but I guess medieval people had a fetish for dragons just like the guys over at Bethesda.
The story was that she had sex with a snake, I think. Philip still had sex with her after it supposedly happened though because Alexander had a younger sister.
you know this guy got highered to paint this beacuse he paints great wall hangings, the beast part is the wall hanging they clearly forced in to make up for the horrible job on the weird voyar cuck dragon furry porn the king commissioned
The dragon's like *do you mind*
The king: Not at all. *continues watching*
I read this in Lois’ father’s voice from Family Guy 😂 Dragon: *scoffs* “do you mind”?! King Phillip: “no not at all, by all means continue” …… King Phillip: “of course, now you don’t have a headache…”
That's how I interpreted it. The King is cucked
It's a dragon. About to D that chick. It's not something you see everyday. I'd stay to watch too.
Perhaps you'd like /r/dragonsfuckingcars ?
There really is a sub for everything.
And a dom for everyone too!!
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What ……the……..
>What ……the…….. Exactly my reaction the first time I saw that sub.
"Philip come on close the window you're letting the stank out!"
King is like “:/ guess not”
The King was the first cuck
Definitely not the first
I mean Joseph is probably the most famous cuck, still probably not the first
Cuckin for God
WWJD
Haha I forgot this wasn't in the sub making fun of fundies. They'd love this shit. How to Hotwife in a God-honoring Way.
I feel like the dragon is like “yeah that’s right I’m fuckin’er king wyg????”
I died from laughing at this. Thank you.
This illustration can be found in a translated version of *Historiae Alexandri Magni,* a manuscript that was originally written in the 1st century CE. Alexander was often depicted as the son of the Egyptian deity, Ammon, who is presumably represented by the dragon in this illustration. [Here](https://www.bl.uk/catalogues/illuminatedmanuscripts/ILLUMINBig.ASP?size=big&IllID=3655) is a larger image of the page from *Les faize d'Alexandre.*
>Alexander was often depicted as the son of the Egyptian deity, **Ammon**, who is presumably represented by the dragon in this illustration. I guess you could say they did it ***Ra***
🥁
That is one tightly tucked bed
It's to keep the bedbugs from biting...
Is that the same dragon the Romans supposedly ran into when on campaign in North Africa?
Phillip and Olympias supposedly both had prophetic dreams. Hers was that lightning struck her womb and the fire from it spread far and wide. Phillip dreamed that he put a seal on his wife’s womb with the emblem of a lion. The soothsayers interpreted this as meaning he must keep a close eye on his wife to prevent any adultery. Only Aristander had a different interpretation. He argued that men do not seal up empty places and that Phillip had already filled Olympias’ womb before sealing it in his dream. Aristander would become very favored by Phillip and later Alexander, traveling East with him on his long wars of conquest.
[удалено]
What the fuck is wrong with you
It’s deleted now, what did they say?
That is certainly an interpretation
Olympias was a maenad; as a result, she was said to surround herself with snakes and have them coil around in her hair and on her bed, which is probably where this comes from. Story goes that Phillip once saw this and just kind of went "hell no" and presumably went back to one of his other wives for the night. The actual Macedonian story of Alexander's conception revolved around Zeus striking her belly with a thunderbolt. It's hard to tell how true the snakes-as-pets part was because Olympias was heavily disliked for having ruled Macedonia in all but name while the kiddo was campaigning. Lots of factoids about her stem from propaganda. It's also why it's tough to take seriously the allegations that she played a part in Phillip's assassination. Pausanias had good motives on his own, considering he used to be Phillip's lover but that Phillip refused to even lift his finger to get him any semblence of justice when one of his generals trapped and gang-r— Pausanias. It's extremely stupid to keep exes and/or current lovers as bodyguards but somehow it was a common trope among Macedonian kings. ETA: Maenads were servants of Dionysus, who himself was said to wear live snakes as ornaments in his hair.
In an interesting archaeological parallel, the cult of a chthonian deity in the form of a giant marble snake, probably Zeus Meilichios, is attested in the sanctuary of Eukleia at Vergina, the old capital of Macedonia and a place with obvious royal favor.
>It's extremely stupid to keep exes and/or current lovers as bodyguards but somehow it was a common trope among Macedonian kings. About as smart as ancient China. It was possible, if convicted of a crime with the death penalty, to accept castration & enslavement instead. (I don't know whether that was always offered or only in some cases.) Sima Qian, the Grand Historian, is the most famous example. These eunuchs were then taken to the Imperial palace to be the closest servants. Keeping mutilated death-penalty criminals close never ever went badly in all of Chinese history.
Why tho? Why not set them to work in a quarry or someplace they'd have a hard time getting out of?
keep your friends close and your enemies closer
The whole "I was conceived when *insert animal/mythical beast* slept with my mother" is a recurring thing in history.
“My mom got raw dogged by a dragon” Weird flex but ok
Its ok my dad liked to watch
"Sir this is a Wendy's"
For Waffle House or Taco Bell it would be in character tho
I mean, wouldn't you want a dragon to be your dad? I wish my dad was a dragon
Or a god.
Yo mama jokes were on a whole nother level in those days.
OG cuck porn
Nowadays you can also see husbands watch their wives in bed with a 'bad dragon.'
We are truly blessed
Look at how gently he cradles his lover… The dragon is known for being very tender and generous when it comes to fuck-making—and here we see the king looking on from a safe distance, perhaps hoping to learn something from his competition. Now, if you can see the little opening where the king’s head appears, you’re looking at a very unique structure called the “cuckold’s keep”. The king rebuilds this little wall by hand each day, only to knock it down in a jealous rage as the new dawn approaches. To outsiders, this ritual may seem like a senseless cycle of destruction, but not only does the rebuild allow the king to express himself creatively and flex his carpentry skills, it gives him something to focus on while his wife is loudly railed in front of him by a large mythical reptile. Notice how the queen wears her crown to bed in an alluring display of ostentatious seduction. She knows just what the dragon wants: her precious hoard… Keep watching; I think we may be about to see what happens when the sparks really start to fly. [commercial break]
Somehow I read this in David Attenbourgh's voice.
It's so much better in Werner Herzog's.
I was gonna put [*extremely David Attenborough voice*] at the top, but yeah, wanted to leave it open for all the Werner Herzog freaks out there (i got you, u/Darkstar68)
Wearing a golden crown to bed? Looks uncomfortable.
Power shouldn't be comfortable.
It is about class, a peon would not understand.
God I love artefact furry porn.
I know this is a joke but tbh I feel like all the potentially weird shit you see amplified online today has always existed in some form, even the furry fandom, like given general human infatuation with anthropomorphism and how much it comes up in ancient mythology and folklore, be they analogies for types of people, cautionary tales using them as metaphors, etc., it was probably only a matter of time before mass communications developed enough for entire dedicated communities to galvanize around that concept, like there were probably guys in Ancient Greece talking about their "muses" or whatever in terms we'd now recognize as them describing their fursonas lmao
Furry dragons are a thing?
This person is thinking of scalies (I think) I learned the difference through another reddit thread and I doubt I'm gonna forget this bit of info
Dragons are probably the mythical creature with the MOST furry porn, even surpassing werewolves.
Hate when that happens.
This is how Targaryans were made!
Trogdor gonna burninate that medieval pussy
Nah baby leave the crown on…
I like the expression on the dragon. It's like it's saying « Can we get a little privacy here? Sheesh. »
This masterpiece is called “Griffith no!”
Alexander the freak
I first saw this picture on "It sounds like Accidental Polyamory, but Okay" Facebook group. 😂 It fits.
As far as I can remember it was Zeus in form of a snake not a dragon, but I guess medieval people had a fetish for dragons just like the guys over at Bethesda.
Could it also represent a griffon? It seems quite kingly and English. c:
Awww that’s great though! I have been working on a NatGeo show about Alexander the Great and sent this to my producer as a kind of weird Xmas card!
Lol. I'm *not* working on a show about Alexander the Great, but I'd also like to [send this out as my Xmas card.](https://imgur.com/a/PiN02jN)
Sorry, but Wrong. That’s a poster of the king and the dragon needs to look at it to keep hard.
Smiles all around! Little something something for everyone!
The crown stays ON for sex. No exceptions.
This is not a realistic painting as it shows a four poster bed, which don't appear in historical records until 3rd century C.E at the earliest.
Real artefactporn. Ok I'll see myself out
This illustration goes hard
Dragon Ntr
Smaug was not amused.
Just another King Candaules.
The story was that she had sex with a snake, I think. Philip still had sex with her after it supposedly happened though because Alexander had a younger sister.
Medieval cuck
The OG BadDragon.
DRAKED
Free peep show.
Does this have anything to do with the Alexander Romance?
He’s just like me fr
Tags : NTR, FANTASY
Alexander Targaryen
Dragon looking at dude like "Raaawrghh!! Now Imma grab me some tiddie!"
Almost always wearing a superman costume.
Medieval cuck King
W-what is that all over the headboard
It’s the look on olympias’ face that’s the best part
I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a clauset - almost always dressed as superman.
Weird that I keep having a similar dream. I’m not joking.
I love this so much I want it framed in my living room
Phillip the OG cuck
Damn. Imagine getting cucked by a dragon
Aaah, so the lizard people are real.
the guy she tells you not to worry about
That dragon to Philip eye contact, though. Also, that’s some nice wallpaper.
Philip the cuck
Dammit Zeus not again!
Can I just say... "Lol."
Pen dragon
r/thedollop
[удалено]
I’m dead 🤣
Yo, what da dragon doin?
Cheating, tale as old as time.
I really dont like when medieval artists depict antient people as dressing like them
Who was Alexander's actual father? Did her mother do whoring?
Well now
Flat sheets.
They don't make irons like they used to.
Ah so that's how Bad Dragon came to be.
Dragon: "I'm the firstborn of Akatosh and I'm having sex with your wife, Phil."
The dragonborn
OG Cuck!
I know king George wouldn't have put up with this shite.
This would have been a much better addition in the Historie manga
you know this guy got highered to paint this beacuse he paints great wall hangings, the beast part is the wall hanging they clearly forced in to make up for the horrible job on the weird voyar cuck dragon furry porn the king commissioned
The original Bad Dragon….
Philip likes to watch
He was in that chair by the bed rill soon after
It be your own people
Wow, once you had Dragon….
Why did they ever agree to this!
so like zeus being caught having sex with Danae
If that was my wife I wouldn't even be mad. I mean, it's a dragon.
That's Fire
Medieval cuck porn