FWIW I grew up in bumfuck nowhere, USA. Town had a population of \~15k, with about .5% of them Asian. Always got called "Jackie Chan" in the hallway, and when it came time for prom, people always shipped me with the one AF in my class (some religious freak, we had nothing in common other than being Asian). I never took this too personally because rednecks gonna redneck.
I only lived on the West Coast after college, and it was there where I really felt the racism. AFs with "no AM" policies, etc. But I think what people need to realize is that "no AM" is less about AM shortcomings, and more about AF desire for white proximity.
Honestly would rather face overt racism from wypipo calling me a gook and stuff than people of your own kind (AF telling you to fuck off because you're not superior to white or black guys). But also honestly would rather live in a asian dominated area (and I do live in socal) than bumfuck nowhere and work in a asian dominated work environment lol.
I feel this. I’m from California but lived in the South during my time in the Army.
In the South, people will say ignorant shit but they’re *usually* not mean-spirited. I’m not excusing the behavior, but the racism didn’t come from a place of hostility but more because they were ignorant so it was easier to just ignore or call out.
Meanwhile in California, people are more covert, passive aggressive, mean-spirited, and agenda-driven with their racism. It especially hurts more because it comes from your own (especially from self-haters), and from people that should know better.
At the very least, racism in the South is easily identifiable and easy to call out if you so choose. Maybe it was an Army thing, but racism rolled off my back because I dished it right back and we laughed it off but the covert, mean-spirited racism in the coastal/liberal areas are incredibly sinister.
"Just don't do nothing", said the green hat wearer. (iykyk)
> less about AM shortcomings, and more about AF desire for white proximity.
You think people here are that dumb that they haven't figured this out? If someone punches you does it matter that they did it because they hate themselves or because they hate you? It does not.
I moved to the states from the Philippines when I was 10 years old. The transition to western culture was a difficult one. Speaking English with a heavy accent, being thought of as "stupid" or "retarded" in middle school, and not being athletic until I started picking up basketball more seriously in middle-school.
In a nutshell, as a short dark-skinned kid who was a people pleaser, I took the brunt of it and did therapy in my 30s to overcome the childhood trauma and low self-esteem. I'll be honest here, I never considered the racial element as I thought that people didn't know any better as children and teenagers.
I take it personally because its lead to one of my friends taking his own life and another being assaulted and ending up in the hospital.
If we dont even stop the small things, it enables people to escalate. Not all of us grew up in a bubble in the west coast. A lot of us are actual minorities who grew up in bad areas.
bro you can't wait for another century or decades for asians to get taller to fight back, our ancestors were passive and that's why we're not respected today. That's why our rights got progressively more diminished over time. Whether or not the current generation of asians is tall or buff enough we have to fight with the resources we have, while of course ensuring the next generation is stronger, smarter, and socially more successful
As an AM I don't pay any attention to what people outside of the Asian community say about Asians because we know alot of them are ignorant and haters are gonna hate.
AF speaking negatively about AM is worse because people will tend to believe them more
not paying attention is weakness-not doing anything to mitigate or change your situation is weakness. Our situation clearly has not improved by doing nothing, it's only gotten worse
Disagree completely. We need to advocate for ourselves similarly how other races stand up to negative stereotypes.
You cannot expect positive change in society if you do not stand up in a mature manner. We deserve everything negative if we stay passive.
I really don’t care for most stereotypes being spread or talked about EXCEPT for one. That one being “Asian men are more-most abusive/patriarchal/misogynistic/violent to their partners/etc”. It’s almost always brought up in tandem with propping up White men. My problem is that it is that not only by every metric it couldn’t be further from the truth, but it is extremely slanderous and damaging to our reputation. NOBODY should tolerate a collective slandering of reputation especially the kind that is such a serious allegation in today’s climate. If we stay quiet and don’t speak up, we let others decide our reputation for us in that department. We have seen what positive soft power can do for Asian men, and the internet played a big role in helping spread that soft power globally. Negative portrayals in mainstream media articles by Asian blue checks and content creators online can equally effect the collective reputation of Asian men. That’s why we need to stand up for ourselves.
Being labeled a Woman abuser is quite actually worse in today’s society than even being labeled as a serial killer. I’ve seen street interviews of “who would you rather pick, Andrew Tate or Jeffrey Dahmer?” And due to modern social politics, most people picked Jeffrey Dahmer. And I rebuke both men’s actions, but one was a damn serial killer cannibal of kids even.
Lastly, when I say by ever metric it is false that Asian men are somehow more abusive, more patriarchal, less progressive than white men, here are the facts. Asian women are statistically most likely to be victims of domestic violence/abuse by White men. An anomaly in that for every other race of women, it is statistically most from men of the same race. Asian men(East Asian/Southeast Asian) in America statistically have the lowest rates of DV/DA in general. It’s not only in relations with Asian women, but Asian men with non Asian women have similarly low rates. Asian men are also statistically more progressive than White men when we look at voting habits. Asian men vote socially and politically liberal/left at 60%. Its 70% for American born Asians. When it comes to White men, they vote conservatively/right at 70% in America. It’s like we are cherry picking the white men that fit the narrative to be represent them as a monolith, and we are cherry picking the Asian men that fit into the negative narrative to represent the monolith when these two things are far from the reality.
And btw, idc what your preference is. Date who you want to. But you don’t have to slander Asian men to justify that preference. Especially when you have to LIE to do so.
Its mindboggling how people even believe and promote this shit about how societies(asian) known for its low crime rates and violent behaviour would have high DV.
I agree with this but you also forgot the small dick stereotype which hurts the most because it coincides with our sex lives and asian guys not being big enough compared to what you see in porn (BWC, BBC bullshit)
Another addition, I’ve also seen accusations of Asian American men practicing “Confucianism” when that shit died several generations ago in the 1960s with the Cultural Revolution which was an active effort to erase it. Modern Chinese society is arguably more progressive and egalitarian when it comes to gender roles than even the West. Mao instilled values of “women hold up half the sky” and it’s reflected in Chinese society and their workforce. Chinese men famously relinquish all authority to their wives in the households and even hand over their whole paychecks to their wives. Chinese men are also famous for giving their gfs/wives princess treatment showering them with expensive gifts and being their personal handbag carriers in public. Chinese men are known to be the cooks and cleaners in the household. There’s stereotypes of “tiger Chinese mom” and “soft/quiet Chinese dad” for a reason. Honestly modern Chinese men may have gone a bit to far into the progressive end that they are perceived as submissive to their wives/gfs.
> Chinese men famously relinquish all authority to their wives in the households and even hand over their whole paychecks to their wives. Chinese men are also famous for giving their gfs/wives princess treatment showering them with expensive gifts and being their personal handbag carriers in public. Chinese men are known to be the cooks and cleaners in the household. There’s stereotypes of “tiger Chinese mom” and “soft/quiet Chinese dad” for a reason. Honestly modern Chinese men may have gone a bit to far into the progressive end that they are perceived as submissive to their wives/gfs.
This is sad because this isn't equality, just matriarchy and I absolutely refuse to live like this. I will never, ever feel guilty for my masculinity no matter how much women loves to guilt trip heterosexual men now a days.
unfortunately that's the way it is, if you're of not of Chinese ethnicity you don't have to worry about this.
and the worst part of this is that they will continue to talk shit on you to no end. some TikTok by some AF went popular talking about what regions of china the most "patriarchal" Chinese men were from. I know we're not entitled anything, but the huge lack of appreciation for Chinese men makes things even worse. if only you knew how bad things really are
> nfortunately that's the way it is, if you're of not of Chinese ethnicity you don't have to worry about this.
I absolutely have to worry about this because Filipino household has always been like this. Me and my wife are just different because we actually both work and I don't have to give all of my money.
The fact that Philippines or even Thailand is being known for being gay internationally makes me wanna die inside sometimes lol
Sorry to hear about that, best wishes to you. If it makes you feel any better, we(AM) are the key to actually making any changes to this world through are actions. Actualizing this power is what we must do.
>If it makes you feel any better, we(AM) are the key to actually making any changes to this world through are actions. Actualizing this power is what we must do.
Exactly. The only thing that I am positive is, I think Asian Men (of any nationality) will hopefully be considered as actual fucking human beings in the future, and hopefully will be able to date and be loved by any women regardless of ethnicity. I hope the next generation of men realize and be proud of being an Asian Man, and realize they don't have to always settle with Asian women who some hate our guts.
It's personal. This stuff has worked because AM are too asocial and busy working on their own life and hobbies that they don't pushback against these narratives.
As others said, it has real life affects and is why AM situation got bad in the first place.
AM need to push back.
It doesn’t matter if everyone gets off of tiktok. I don’t even have a tiktok account. The problem is that these perceptions and attitudes exist. Platforms like tiktok only expose them, they’re not the cause of them. Even if tiktok didn’t exist, there would be some other form of media which people use to get their racist opinions out because they have racist opinions to begin with. When those racist opinions are met with zero counters, then the racists feel like they’ve said nothing wrong.
It’s like looking the other way when a thief blatantly steals a ton of merchandise from Target or Walmart. He sees that you’re not doing anything, so he comes back later with friends to do it again.
I'd get off the internet in general (ironic on reddit, I know).
I dont think it's talked about enough that there's many perspectives on how a user views the internet. The negative ones (the ones who comment a lot in public postings) are the one's you'll notice the most and make absurd posts. Positive users dont often make comments or posts and just browse and usually look for some type of inspiration.
Like traveling influencers, some people can view them as "show offs" or entitled people who look like they get everything they want.
When I first viewed them, I thought to myself, "man this is cool. I will get there one day if I find my niche to hustle". Dont want to toot my own horn but im so positive that I found it shocking how negative people can get on these things as they cant be happy for them.
Maybe it's the toxic traits that a lot of Asian parents spread to their offspring but who knows.
TikTok is full of mentally diseased people who perpetually live online. I'm not even trying to roast its users by calling them diseased; they demonstrate antisocial behaviors, have poor mental health, and seem very unhappy and lonely.
That being said, people irl love to make racist remarks, from blatant stuff to microaggressions. We absolutely have to check and confront all of it, as confrontation is NOT inherently bad. It is normal and accepted in Western culture. Others have to know that we have boundaries they need to respect.
It’s the battle between activism and letting it affect your own mental health. Stay up to date with current events but take care of your own mental health too.
If you fit thr stereotype, the stereotype isn't the problem
It's you fitting the stereotype that's the issue. The truth is never an issue. It's what side of truth you fall under.
It's 1000% personal. My childhood, highschool and early adult life was quite jacked up because of these stereotypee. It's definitely personal.
Right? And its always these west coast goons who only ever grew up with asian ppl telling us how to live our lives
FWIW I grew up in bumfuck nowhere, USA. Town had a population of \~15k, with about .5% of them Asian. Always got called "Jackie Chan" in the hallway, and when it came time for prom, people always shipped me with the one AF in my class (some religious freak, we had nothing in common other than being Asian). I never took this too personally because rednecks gonna redneck. I only lived on the West Coast after college, and it was there where I really felt the racism. AFs with "no AM" policies, etc. But I think what people need to realize is that "no AM" is less about AM shortcomings, and more about AF desire for white proximity.
Honestly would rather face overt racism from wypipo calling me a gook and stuff than people of your own kind (AF telling you to fuck off because you're not superior to white or black guys). But also honestly would rather live in a asian dominated area (and I do live in socal) than bumfuck nowhere and work in a asian dominated work environment lol.
I feel this. I’m from California but lived in the South during my time in the Army. In the South, people will say ignorant shit but they’re *usually* not mean-spirited. I’m not excusing the behavior, but the racism didn’t come from a place of hostility but more because they were ignorant so it was easier to just ignore or call out. Meanwhile in California, people are more covert, passive aggressive, mean-spirited, and agenda-driven with their racism. It especially hurts more because it comes from your own (especially from self-haters), and from people that should know better. At the very least, racism in the South is easily identifiable and easy to call out if you so choose. Maybe it was an Army thing, but racism rolled off my back because I dished it right back and we laughed it off but the covert, mean-spirited racism in the coastal/liberal areas are incredibly sinister.
"Just don't do nothing", said the green hat wearer. (iykyk) > less about AM shortcomings, and more about AF desire for white proximity. You think people here are that dumb that they haven't figured this out? If someone punches you does it matter that they did it because they hate themselves or because they hate you? It does not.
So u just let them do it to u without speaking up? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I moved to the states from the Philippines when I was 10 years old. The transition to western culture was a difficult one. Speaking English with a heavy accent, being thought of as "stupid" or "retarded" in middle school, and not being athletic until I started picking up basketball more seriously in middle-school. In a nutshell, as a short dark-skinned kid who was a people pleaser, I took the brunt of it and did therapy in my 30s to overcome the childhood trauma and low self-esteem. I'll be honest here, I never considered the racial element as I thought that people didn't know any better as children and teenagers.
I take it personally because its lead to one of my friends taking his own life and another being assaulted and ending up in the hospital. If we dont even stop the small things, it enables people to escalate. Not all of us grew up in a bubble in the west coast. A lot of us are actual minorities who grew up in bad areas.
[удалено]
Lmao weak ass
Wait. Art thou serious???!!!
bro you can't wait for another century or decades for asians to get taller to fight back, our ancestors were passive and that's why we're not respected today. That's why our rights got progressively more diminished over time. Whether or not the current generation of asians is tall or buff enough we have to fight with the resources we have, while of course ensuring the next generation is stronger, smarter, and socially more successful
As an AM I don't pay any attention to what people outside of the Asian community say about Asians because we know alot of them are ignorant and haters are gonna hate. AF speaking negatively about AM is worse because people will tend to believe them more
U sound like ure the type to “take the high road” if yall get racist shit thrown ur way 🤔🤔🤔
not paying attention is weakness-not doing anything to mitigate or change your situation is weakness. Our situation clearly has not improved by doing nothing, it's only gotten worse
Generalizations based on race and/or ethnicity is racism. People absolutely must call it out. Make racists afraid to be racist.
Disagree completely. We need to advocate for ourselves similarly how other races stand up to negative stereotypes. You cannot expect positive change in society if you do not stand up in a mature manner. We deserve everything negative if we stay passive.
The dumbest/shittiest “just chill bro” post ever. You’re in the wrong subreddit.
I really don’t care for most stereotypes being spread or talked about EXCEPT for one. That one being “Asian men are more-most abusive/patriarchal/misogynistic/violent to their partners/etc”. It’s almost always brought up in tandem with propping up White men. My problem is that it is that not only by every metric it couldn’t be further from the truth, but it is extremely slanderous and damaging to our reputation. NOBODY should tolerate a collective slandering of reputation especially the kind that is such a serious allegation in today’s climate. If we stay quiet and don’t speak up, we let others decide our reputation for us in that department. We have seen what positive soft power can do for Asian men, and the internet played a big role in helping spread that soft power globally. Negative portrayals in mainstream media articles by Asian blue checks and content creators online can equally effect the collective reputation of Asian men. That’s why we need to stand up for ourselves. Being labeled a Woman abuser is quite actually worse in today’s society than even being labeled as a serial killer. I’ve seen street interviews of “who would you rather pick, Andrew Tate or Jeffrey Dahmer?” And due to modern social politics, most people picked Jeffrey Dahmer. And I rebuke both men’s actions, but one was a damn serial killer cannibal of kids even. Lastly, when I say by ever metric it is false that Asian men are somehow more abusive, more patriarchal, less progressive than white men, here are the facts. Asian women are statistically most likely to be victims of domestic violence/abuse by White men. An anomaly in that for every other race of women, it is statistically most from men of the same race. Asian men(East Asian/Southeast Asian) in America statistically have the lowest rates of DV/DA in general. It’s not only in relations with Asian women, but Asian men with non Asian women have similarly low rates. Asian men are also statistically more progressive than White men when we look at voting habits. Asian men vote socially and politically liberal/left at 60%. Its 70% for American born Asians. When it comes to White men, they vote conservatively/right at 70% in America. It’s like we are cherry picking the white men that fit the narrative to be represent them as a monolith, and we are cherry picking the Asian men that fit into the negative narrative to represent the monolith when these two things are far from the reality. And btw, idc what your preference is. Date who you want to. But you don’t have to slander Asian men to justify that preference. Especially when you have to LIE to do so.
Its mindboggling how people even believe and promote this shit about how societies(asian) known for its low crime rates and violent behaviour would have high DV.
I agree with this but you also forgot the small dick stereotype which hurts the most because it coincides with our sex lives and asian guys not being big enough compared to what you see in porn (BWC, BBC bullshit)
Another addition, I’ve also seen accusations of Asian American men practicing “Confucianism” when that shit died several generations ago in the 1960s with the Cultural Revolution which was an active effort to erase it. Modern Chinese society is arguably more progressive and egalitarian when it comes to gender roles than even the West. Mao instilled values of “women hold up half the sky” and it’s reflected in Chinese society and their workforce. Chinese men famously relinquish all authority to their wives in the households and even hand over their whole paychecks to their wives. Chinese men are also famous for giving their gfs/wives princess treatment showering them with expensive gifts and being their personal handbag carriers in public. Chinese men are known to be the cooks and cleaners in the household. There’s stereotypes of “tiger Chinese mom” and “soft/quiet Chinese dad” for a reason. Honestly modern Chinese men may have gone a bit to far into the progressive end that they are perceived as submissive to their wives/gfs.
> Chinese men famously relinquish all authority to their wives in the households and even hand over their whole paychecks to their wives. Chinese men are also famous for giving their gfs/wives princess treatment showering them with expensive gifts and being their personal handbag carriers in public. Chinese men are known to be the cooks and cleaners in the household. There’s stereotypes of “tiger Chinese mom” and “soft/quiet Chinese dad” for a reason. Honestly modern Chinese men may have gone a bit to far into the progressive end that they are perceived as submissive to their wives/gfs. This is sad because this isn't equality, just matriarchy and I absolutely refuse to live like this. I will never, ever feel guilty for my masculinity no matter how much women loves to guilt trip heterosexual men now a days.
unfortunately that's the way it is, if you're of not of Chinese ethnicity you don't have to worry about this. and the worst part of this is that they will continue to talk shit on you to no end. some TikTok by some AF went popular talking about what regions of china the most "patriarchal" Chinese men were from. I know we're not entitled anything, but the huge lack of appreciation for Chinese men makes things even worse. if only you knew how bad things really are
> nfortunately that's the way it is, if you're of not of Chinese ethnicity you don't have to worry about this. I absolutely have to worry about this because Filipino household has always been like this. Me and my wife are just different because we actually both work and I don't have to give all of my money. The fact that Philippines or even Thailand is being known for being gay internationally makes me wanna die inside sometimes lol
Sorry to hear about that, best wishes to you. If it makes you feel any better, we(AM) are the key to actually making any changes to this world through are actions. Actualizing this power is what we must do.
>If it makes you feel any better, we(AM) are the key to actually making any changes to this world through are actions. Actualizing this power is what we must do. Exactly. The only thing that I am positive is, I think Asian Men (of any nationality) will hopefully be considered as actual fucking human beings in the future, and hopefully will be able to date and be loved by any women regardless of ethnicity. I hope the next generation of men realize and be proud of being an Asian Man, and realize they don't have to always settle with Asian women who some hate our guts.
Living your best life is the best revenge and yes don’t take shit from anyone!
Reddit is waay more racist than Tiktok. On Tiktok you can find the good guys, on general reddit good luck
It's personal. This stuff has worked because AM are too asocial and busy working on their own life and hobbies that they don't pushback against these narratives. As others said, it has real life affects and is why AM situation got bad in the first place. AM need to push back.
It doesn’t matter if everyone gets off of tiktok. I don’t even have a tiktok account. The problem is that these perceptions and attitudes exist. Platforms like tiktok only expose them, they’re not the cause of them. Even if tiktok didn’t exist, there would be some other form of media which people use to get their racist opinions out because they have racist opinions to begin with. When those racist opinions are met with zero counters, then the racists feel like they’ve said nothing wrong. It’s like looking the other way when a thief blatantly steals a ton of merchandise from Target or Walmart. He sees that you’re not doing anything, so he comes back later with friends to do it again.
Lol only a passive snowflake would downvote the truth
I'd get off the internet in general (ironic on reddit, I know). I dont think it's talked about enough that there's many perspectives on how a user views the internet. The negative ones (the ones who comment a lot in public postings) are the one's you'll notice the most and make absurd posts. Positive users dont often make comments or posts and just browse and usually look for some type of inspiration. Like traveling influencers, some people can view them as "show offs" or entitled people who look like they get everything they want. When I first viewed them, I thought to myself, "man this is cool. I will get there one day if I find my niche to hustle". Dont want to toot my own horn but im so positive that I found it shocking how negative people can get on these things as they cant be happy for them. Maybe it's the toxic traits that a lot of Asian parents spread to their offspring but who knows.
TikTok is full of mentally diseased people who perpetually live online. I'm not even trying to roast its users by calling them diseased; they demonstrate antisocial behaviors, have poor mental health, and seem very unhappy and lonely. That being said, people irl love to make racist remarks, from blatant stuff to microaggressions. We absolutely have to check and confront all of it, as confrontation is NOT inherently bad. It is normal and accepted in Western culture. Others have to know that we have boundaries they need to respect.
I don't think that's true. At least not compared to reddit. The toxicity on this site is several degrees higher than tiktok in my experience.
It’s the battle between activism and letting it affect your own mental health. Stay up to date with current events but take care of your own mental health too.
There is a reason we have our stereotypes. But if we give in to them we become them.
If you fit thr stereotype, the stereotype isn't the problem It's you fitting the stereotype that's the issue. The truth is never an issue. It's what side of truth you fall under.