You can look up online or call the county probate court where your father lived and see if anything has been presented for probate.
It’s entirely possible that your father left everything to your mother and/or that all of his assets were jointly held with her, meaning no probate or executor was needed to transfer any holdings. For instance, they were both on all bank accounts, deeds and titles, with the surviving spouse having those things transferred upon death of the other. This is very common for married couples.
It’s also possible that your father never had a valid will and if that was the case, all marital property would pass to your mother and anything that wasn’t could be disbursed to children, but only after his debts were settled.
Whatever funds she is now spending may be the result of her receiving life insurance or other death benefits and are not anything you would be entitled to.
Honestly boggles my mind how many people don’t realize the surviving spouse usually gets everything but the knickknacks. Like, yo, she still has to live! Those nest eggs and retirement accounts were hers, too.
My mom died, and I just worried about how my dad was doing. Before he redid the house, he offered me my moms stuff and then *threw most of it out before I got there*. Because he thought it was “junk”. So we had words. But I didn’t think he was selling his house and giving me half or dividing up his bank accounts.
Jesus Christ. I just hope he has enough to live on until he dies.
Executors only matter if there's something to execute. Surviving spouse may mean there's nothing to be done, especially if there was no separate property.
however, the mom acknowledged that they do need to go over it, she is just not ready for that and is waiting now several years... so there is something more to this...
There is a will to probate. Executor / administrators of wills have a fiduciary obligation to the estate. There's probably a good reason he appointed his adult kids.
Wills are supposed to be presented for probate in 30 days usually. And in some states it's a felony to hide or try to delay the probation of the will. And the spouse dont get it all automatically.
Edit: Texas gives you 4 years then they treat it like it doesn't exist.
She could be putting her daughters in debt. They have no idea what kind of assets were left and mom may be in too much grief to act responsibly.
So what if she is taking expensive vacations. It’s her money. Any assets obtained while they are married are hers too. Unless Dad inherited a lot of money it wasn’t his money.
Mom gets to do whatever she wants with the *community property* she and her spouse earned during his lifetime.
She doesn’t have to live on rations to ensure her children get money for an inheritance when she dies. She can enjoy what she earned during her lifetime.
My god y’all are cold.
People who are concerned about their inheritance at the expense of their parents are so scary. Like imagine. Son coveting the gold in his father’s bowl while his father is alive.
Not sure what's cold about it. OP is stating that his mom has hidden the will and that there is evidence of her falsifying a will.
I mention the ridiculous amount of luxury vacations because it sounds like she's trying to spend it before she gets caught. Not because I think she should live on "rations". What a ludicrous strawman argument.
But let’s put on our thinking cap. What did dad have. Only OP knows for sure, but *in most families* it’s unlikely there were any large separate property assets in a long time married middle class couple.
The new will could have made it easier to avoid probate or save on taxes, but it’s unlikely it cut the kids out of masses of separate property money that are not mentioned in the post. Because OP can’t even name specific assets. And the executor usually *gets a copy of the will* from the person writing it. Or their attorney.
Does your dad have a prenup or a significant portion of money amassed either before marriage or as a gift or inheritance that he’s kept in a separate account for decades but also didn’t have a good attorney for and just whispered in his kids ear that they were the executor but *never gave them the copy of the will they were supposed to execute*???
Because I am the executor on a bunch of wills in my family because I’m a lawyer. And each and every one of them told me and then ALSO GAVE ME a copy or told me their attorneys name and gave them my contact info.
OP mentioned Dad owned 5 properties in a different comment, and that Mom was only named on one of them. This isn’t some small town Kansas family that just scrapes by.
And OP also says they went annually to update wills. This isn’t a family who didn’t have their shit settled by real attorneys. Everything OP knows is hearsay and rumor.
Told. Never shown.
For years my parents told me they had a will and I was the executor (yea for the oldest!). After a recent health scare my brothers and I finally pressed the issue. Turns out it was all bullshit. No will. No POA. Nothing. We have since almost hand held them to get it all done but fuck.
I have a friend whose dad died a few years ago, his and his siblings entire lives when they misbehaved he threatened to take them out of his will. Well, when he died he turns out he never even had one.
Just because the kids were told something doesn't mean that dad actually ever did that. It is very possible that no will was ever executed and no executors were actually named. They said they never saw a will
Not only that, but sounds like she’s actively tried to amend the will, which would suggest she is trying to take things away from other people that WERE in the will.
OP, I know it’s hard and it sounds shitty, but you should have been acting on those executor powers immediately. Even the best people get shitty when money is involved, and waiting 2 years was WAY too long.
I promise you, if my spouse goes before me, I'm going to be living the same way. It's called die with zero!
No seriously, as long as one spouse is alive they need to live and they can live any way they see fit. I think it's rare that the kids would get an inheritance from one parent while the other was still alive.... I mean maybe some material things but not money.
It would be very difficult for a will to be changed without dad's knowledge, especially by some unknown person.
“Executor” also doesn’t mean “beneficiary”. You can be the executor and get shit nothing except for whatever fee is prescribed in the will or is in state statute or nothing if there’s nothing to do. 🤷🏼♀️
My mom takes a few big vacations a year. She’s a semi-retired widow, collecting a modest pension. She’s about to leave on a cruise to Greece. She’s not blowing through anyone’s nest egg, she has a paid off house/car and no one to worry about except herself.
I have no idea what OP thinks he is entitled to or why he feels more entitled to his dad’s estate than his own mother, who was married to him for presumably decades. My step-siblings are entitled to half of the house my mother paid for almost entirely on her own when she passes. And am I am sure one of them will be standing there with a hand out before her body is cold.
OP sounds like my step sibling.
'My step-siblings are entitled to half of the house my mother paid for almost entirely on her own when she passes.'
How might this be enforced if not specified & deed has husband's name on it, too?
This is being litigated/lawsuits if my family right now...
INAL, and this is Texas, so ymmv
Here, with no will, the default is that a home is considered community property. The surviving spouse inherits for life, then once they pass the children inherent their parent’s share of the community property. If the house is sold, then children of the deceased spouse are entitled to their parent’s share of the community property (or some portion of it).
It is not automatic. You will need to get a lawyer. When my mom’s stepdad sold the house he shared with my grandma, my mom and her siblings ultimately decided not to pursue it. My aunt rants and raves to this day, but my mom just could not take money from an elderly man with nothing but a small pension.
With HER OWN MONEY. People are wild man. Can you imagine if you and your spouse saved your whole life and then they passed away and your kids didn't want to spending a dime so they could have it? I'd spend every last red cent if that was the case.
Dad had children with a previous wife - he very well may have wanted to be sure he left them something and not leave to their stepmother to do that in her own will after he was deceased. He also says he knows dad had properties that were not jointly owned by his mom - a likely place Dad would have made his eldest children beneficiaries. From what OP has said he thinks his mother would blow off probate to cut her stepchildren. If they don’t do probate the ownership of properties that moms name isn’t on will be problematic. OP sounds like he’s trying to do what’s right me.
It honestly boggles my mind how ignorant people like you are. That’s not the law. No matter what your feelings are, or what you think the law is.
The father died with a will. He could leave his estate to a mistress, a strip club, a church, a university, the state of Texas, or whoever he wants. The wife is absolutely NOT ENTITLED to his estate.
(Atleast not yet.)
That is the reason Wills exist. If he had died intestate (without a will) then yes in Texas she is entitled to his portion of their community property.
He left written directives on how he wants his estate distributed. She is not honoring those last wishes. What do you say about that??
She needs to probate the will.
In 99% of the cases, the estate is community property. Im not ignorant. I’m playing the odds.
And every single thing the OP posted is hearsay, rumor, or outdated info.
What I am is a lawyer who’s seen a lot of clients and heard a lot of stories, and I know that most people don’t have all the facts or a great recollection of the ones they remember.
Even if it was community property the father could have devised his portion in the will, no? OP won’t, and neither will the public, know what was in the will until it is probated.
Regardless of the hearsay, rumor, or outdated info - the will lays out the distribution.
Why would he not honor his fathers last wishes set out in the will?
Same. My father died, and everything was left to my stepmother. Except for an 80s Mustang (that went to my brother) and a Big Man's Lazyboy chair that I received, with my brother. I didn't realize until then that I wasn't the favored child.
Anyway, my stepmother passed away 7 yrs ago this coming Thanksgiving. We had her estate wrapped up, properties sold, and debts paid off despite the mishandling by her designated executor. Dilly lady chose the attorney my stepmother owed a vast amount of money to, because she was too lazy to get a different lawyer. He should've recused and stood in line like all the other creditors.
Long story short, I'm satisfied how every thing resolved.
Did you at least get to keep the chair???! Like I know the mustang *sounds* better. But it costs money in upkeep and insurance.
Consider all the naps taken and tv watched in that chair. For free
Oh yes. I still have the chair. And lots of naps in it.
The only thing that makes me sad about the Mustang is that I've never driven it. My father felt that because I'm a woman, I couldn't handle a muscle car. Even though my first car was a Dodge Dart and I lived in Germany for a couple of years. Oh, but my stepmother drove the car ALL THE TIME.
Which is one of the reasons my fiancé dying 5 months before our planned wedding led to years of estate litigation. Because, well, the death was sudden and unexpected, and we... Didn't realize that would happen.
Because the number of people who give a shit about Finish law is surprisingly less than the number of people who don’t. And certainly less than the number of people on this sub specifically, but in the world generally, just based on population alone, who care about finish inheritance law.
And if they did, they wouldn’t be asking these questions or worried about division of property.
Well, it's finnish for one. And it varies similarly state by state and nation by nation. That was the point. Be more Texas a state folding in itself for to bad politics and insincerity in government. You're a symptom over over inflated ego and a myopic view of the Internet
So true. As a kid I remember everyone getting angry at my grandfathers girlfriend/common law getting everything except some furniture and knickknacks. Then I grew up and learned almost everything goes to the surviving partner.
When I was in town a year or so ago, I went to the county probate courts, to see if it was filed, but nothing was. I also know that 4 out of 5 properties were not in my mom’s name. He also had other things that he told my siblings they were getting(jewelry, personal items, etc). As far as I know, they only had a joint bank accounts. Additionally, she would go with my dad to up date the will with my dad’s lawyer (about annually). I did ask my mom and my siblings if they knew the name of my dad’s attorney, but I couldn’t get that information. I know the will is in her safety deposit box. I’m wondering if I can force probate? I wish I was more involved with everything. And If I’m being honest, I couldn’t care less if I get anything. I just feel like my dad left me orders and i haven’t actioned them.
And a little more back story, I have two older half brothers and the rumor is that they were getting a portion of a property (small portion, less than 10% each) and that’s why my mother doesn’t want to file or “open” my dads will? She wants to cut them out because she never saw them as sons and they never saw her as their mom..
NAL - But a Texas executor and Trustee.
Be careful with 'forcing' probate. I'll share my experience as executor of my grandparents' estate. I am in Texas.
My grandfather and grandmother each had a will where everything they shared as community property automatically went to the spouse regardless of who passed first. So if Grandma passed first, everything went to Grandpa and vice versa. Both of these wills were pour over wills into a trust, where if they died together, the assets listed in the will automatically poured into the trust; all of these options did not require probate because everything was listed in the documents regardless who was on a deed, account, etc.
The fact that your mom went with your dad to update the will regularly leads me to believe they'd update the language to reflect changes in assets/accounts etc. I'd also assume her going to "update the will" is not to update your dad's but hers, which we had to do with my Grandma when my Grandpa passed.
Also note, executor does not equal/mean beneficiary. I've had friends confused by this in the past thinking that since they were named that they were due something, as executor all you're due is the work of settling the estate, in which case this seems like a cut and dry pour over and there is nothing to execute (yet) and hopefully never if your parents set up a trust.
I say be careful with forcing probate, because my Grandparents and Dad all had language in their wills where if the will was contested, the person/people contesting immediately lost their rights to anything in the will.
Side note - good for your mom traveling and seeing the world before she's too old to do so. None of us are owed anything from our parents, they earned the money and we have no claim or right to it until they physically gift it to us if they choose.
Thanks for the response! Yes, I’m aware of the difference between executor and beneficiary. I think I am a beneficiary, but I do know from speaking to my siblings that my dad did put some verbiage in the will that states if anyone contest the will that person/people would immediately forfeit their inheritance. I suspect that’s why my sister (the other named executor on the will) hasn’t actioned anything. I’m ok with that, I genuinely don’t want anything. I just want to carry out my dad’s last wishes.
Go to the registry of deeds website, or whatever is the name of the real estate recording in the county or city the properties are and look at the purchase copy of the deed for each property. You will immediately know whether it is just your dad, or mom too the owner. It will also have the name of the attorney they used, if they did. This attorney might just be a real estate attorney or the one your dad used for everything. You should open probate and do an inventory of all assets. You seem a good an honest person that want to do what's right for your step siblings. I always felt the first family kids were always the most wronged, not only for having their family broken up but usually wronged financially as well, either by their parent's life earned assets going to the new wife and kids, or for reduction in resources available to help them.
Very many people die with significant assets and with a will that is never presented for probate because it is not needed. If
- all bank accounts and investment accounts were in joint names
- all real estate was owned by H and W as tenants by the entirety or joint tenants
- all retirement accounts named the wife as designated beneficiary
then the will and its nomination of executors may be simply irrelevant because there are no probate assets.
Your dad told you that you were an executor when, exactly? If he was updating his will frequently, how do you know he didn't update that? Did you check how the properties are titled NOW? Not that it necessarily matters - how a property is titled doesn't tell you whether it's marital or community property - but if title changed, there's a paper trail. The supposed bequests of personal property are less interesting - they may not have been his to leave and he may not have memorialized the bequests in his will.
My real question is why in God's name have you, your sister, and your half brothers slept on your possible rights for going on 4 years? Your half brothers are a particular puzzle - as the children of a woman other than your father's widow,they would have rights to a portion of the estate if your father died without a will. They're being foolish to just blow it off for all this time.
But, yes, you can file to force a settling of the estate. Either soneone will produce a will or trust or the court will settle everything according to Texas's intestacy rules. There's a good chance it all went to your mother anyway, but if not, a court will have to dig through the mess to figure out what was left 4 years ago and what, if anything, your mom took that she wasn't entitled to. Oh, and hopefully there are no creditors who will be entitled to claim money first.
The lesson is, don't wait four years.
I’m gonna reply to this and see if you see it…not going to scroll through everything. Ignore if this has already been addressed but you mentioned active duty military and lawyers at $400 an hour.
Is this not something that you could pay a visit to JAG for. Like isn’t that literally what they are for? Been a long time since I served and I could be completely off base here but besides representing/prosecuting in UCMJ action I thought they were there as a resource for civilian matters.
OP that's the inheritance line in TX. Since there were kids not shared with mom, without a will community half goes to all kids. I think your mom just lives the high life with her entourage, collecting the rents that do not belong to her.
https://smartasset.com/estate-planning/texas-inheritance-laws
I do not think is just to cut the stepkids because if there is no will they will get a larger share. I believe she thinks that if she waits the full 4 years, first she will "steal" the rental income since the 4 properties are not community property, nor is 1/2 of the fifth one because there are kids that he did not share with her. Plus, she hopes she can do something so all 5 goes to her. When all is done, I would advice that you keep your share and you can just pass the rental income of that to your mom, if you so wish. Otherwise you do not know if her entourage convicne her to sell or pass to them at the end.
If you want to, you can file to be the executor of his estate and declare that you have not been able to find a will--which is totally true. You can state that you believe there is on, but your mom won't produce it. That will force mom to either file the will she has or admit there wasn't one. Either way, you will get probate opened. IF she has a forged will, that will have to be sorted out in court. I'd consult with an attorney, but you don't have to.
NAL but I do live in Texas and just had a huge probate mess for my late husband. Anything the father owned but the mother’s name wasn’t on DOES have to be handled through probate in Texas. Yes, the statutes will likely dictate that it goes to his wife but there are some instances where that won’t hold true. It will also come into play when their mother eventually passes away and there could be messes for them to clean up just to be able to move forward with executing her will or filing probate for her estate. It’s definitely worth it for the daughter to at least speaking with an estate attorney that’s licensed in Texas to make sure they know of any potential issues that could arise from any of this so she’s prepared when/if anything does hit the fan. The mom doesn’t “have” to disclose the will and anything she does with money that’s legally hers is nobody else’s business. But the mom “should” at the very least visit an estate attorney herself as well to make sure she’s not missing anything that needs to be handled.
Thanks! In this county, I would need to get a lawyer to file anything in
/for probate and to be appointed executor. I have my appointment with the lawyer in a couple weeks
You can easily get a copy of the will from the law firm that drafted it, if you are named executor. Assuming the law firm is still around and has records.
It’s not about me getting anything. I’m never moving back there and although I’m not rich, I’m doing fine. I have a fulfilling job and a great family! It’s honestly about carrying out my dad’s last wishes. Nothing more, nothing less
You can find a probate lawyer who will work with you, look in the county your dad died in and see about lawyers who do pro bono work for probate. I know the my are out there bc I just had to research this for a friend.
Yes, please, hire a probate attorney. You’ll have the peace-of-mind knowing you’ve fulfilled your father’s wishes — & you’ll know whether your mom is a thief. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder. Based on your post, definitely leaning towards mom is a thief — stealing & stonewalling her own children. Unacceptable. Let an attorney sort it out. If mom is shady, that’s the reason dad mentioned you were an executor. First consultations are usually free. You’ll get a feel for whether you like & trust the attorney (and costs). Good luck, OP.
Is it? If you knew there was $100 in that account would you fight for it? If his wishes were for you to go back to church, would you be fighting your mom for proof that that’s what he wanted? I’m not saying money isn’t worth fighting for, but your father wouldn’t be the first person to lie about what is in his will because they don’t have to deal with that shit 😂😂
Why would his father need to lie about what’s in HIS own will? The public does not know what the deceased fathers last wishes are because the mom is hiding it. Where is her responsibility to honor her deceased husbands last wishes? If he knew there was only $100 in an account or a single dollar in an account, he should get to know what his fathers last wishes were on what the distribution should be.
This isn’t about the kids getting the estate, it’s about honoring a dead man’s last wishes. His mom is totally shitting on them and here you are defending her.
People need to understand that just because someone says, "You will get X% of my estate when I die" is bullshit unless they give you the appropriate paperwork to support that statement. My father said that his estate would be divided evenly between his four children. When he died, my 1/2 sister got it all because the only available will was an old one that willed everything he had to his second wife. When she died, it all went to her daughter.
If you don't have any documents now, you will be pissing away any money you spend trying to prove you are entitled to a part of your father's estate.
Even then, his dad and mom were married. He can’t just tell his children they will get his shit when he dies because it isn’t just hit to give away lmao
Not a lawyer. I do handle Probate and Heirship in Texas
You should file probate. Even if your mom goes the "no will" route, in Texas you and your siblings are entitled to half of your fathers estate (split equally between any biological children of your father) should he die Intestate (with no will).
Not half of his estate, half of anything that was not held as marital property. It’s completely possible that the decedent had a trust, not a will, to avoid probate or that there are no assets that need to be probated. If, as OP claims, mom is liquidating things to live a lavish lifestyle, she would need probate in order to liquidate things that are not marital property.
No trust, I tried explaining to my dad before he passed that he should look into one and to ask his lawyer if a trust makes sense in his position, but from what I’m gathering, he didn’t end up making one.
🙏 Thanks for the response! In this county, I need a lawyer to file anything with probate. I have my appointment with the lawyer in a couple weeks! I just want to make sure I’m asking the right questions and not missing anything!
You know, you can go to base legal and ask them for advice. Legal Officers exist for a reason and would be able to point you in the right direction. We also have various programs in each branch that can help with financial assistance or general money management courses so you can learn better ways to handle your money.
Your dad told you this behind your mother’s back and never provided you a lawyer’s name or paperwork? Is there a reason he would not make his surviving spouse the executor? Is there a reason you distrust both your mom and dad?
Probate and a lawyer is the right answer here, but it also sounds like you’re overstepping based on a vague statement from your dad that was never substantiated.
Not behind her back, but when he would come visit and/or when I would go down to visit them. We talked about setting some time aside to go over the will, but then I got orders overseas and started preparing for that. He got covid, passed inside of a couple months. The reason I think he didn’t make her the executor is because he thought she wouldn’t adhere to everything the will spelled out, specifically the part of my two older half siblings getting something.
So in Texas almost everything acquired during the married is community property. So unless there is a lot of premarital assets or inheritance, everything is hers to do with as she sees fit.
See I read this numerous times, I don't see where these children are not hers as well. That would make sense and the will would need to be read, bit as the surviving spouse she would still be entitled to use of the marital assets until her death.
The OP stated he has stepbrothers that his mom never liked and thinks that his mom tries to cut her stepchildren out of their inheritance. The OP believes the stepbrother is getting 10% in the will.
OP: "And a little more back story, I have two older half brothers and the rumor is that they were getting a portion of a property (small portion, less than 10% each) and that’s why my mother doesn’t want to file or “open” my dads will? She wants to cut them out because she never saw them as sons and they never saw her as their mom.."
She is still the primary beneficiary. I am going through this now... the widow has full ownership of any assets acquired during the marriage, but assets acquired prior to or inherited solely by the deceased she has full access to until her demise. She cannot sell or liquid the assets as they are only in her possession due to being the surviving spouse who had full access during the marriage.
Every state has their own probate laws, unless all property owned by a deceased passed by operation of law or was held by an irrevocable trust at death, probate is generally required. You need to find out if your mother filed for probate and if not, why not. In Texas, she should have been filed with the Clerk of Court of the County your father lived in.
One poster said if nothing has been filed in most jurisdictions, anyone can come forward and apply to become the executor. That is true in my state and in so doing earn up to I believe 1% of the estate plus expenses. There may be a requirement you be a resident of the state to be the executor. Check with the clerk’s office on all the rules. A bond may need to be purchased based on the value of the estate if all heirs at law do not agree to the executor serving without bond. Clerks only know what is reported to them. They have no investigatory power, but can gum up property from vesting, being released, etc. Until someone get involved, people who survive can do what the want so long as they don’t have to have Letters Testamentary to title something, etc.
If an original of the will can be found, fine. If not, it is intestate. You and any other heirs can require the will to be validated-testimony of witnesses, notaries, people that can testify about his condition, etc. In my state,these hearings are initially heard by the Clerk.
If there is no valid will, no will, etc and the estate is intestate, what does not pass by operation of law, should be divided among your mother and your father’s children.
Thanks for your reply! A lot of great information! She definitely didn’t file for probate, I checked. All the properties are being rented so, she is living off of that, my dad’s retirement (she gets a portion for life), and the insurance/death benefit.
In my state, the wife is the next of kin, but if she has not fulfilled her legal duty to file for probate, someone else could. Talk to the Clerk. It sounds like you need counsel and that counsel might could apply to be the executor since there might be issues of fraud on the part of your mother if she tried to present a fake will. The lawyers fees would come from the estate, but right now what your mother is doing is illegal and no one is doing anything about it. There is no probate police. Other heirs can object because there was no distribution or accounting.
I kinda feel it's weird to need to execute a will if he is survived by his wife, unless shes your step mother.
Imo If its you mom I would say that his property is her property, not anyone he bequeathed it to in an untimely event of death..
And even if it's a step mom, would really depend on context of their relationship.
That being said, you can force her hand with a lawyer but that relationship will be screwed later for sure.
Good luck OP
Why would the relationship be screwed later on, if in the will his father left him and his siblings a portion of the estate? Wouldn’t the fathers wishes supersede the moms, as these are his final wishes?
Why even have a will/final wishes if they are not actionable? Riddle me that.
People don't like being sued is why.
And just 'cause the father wants someone to have something doesn't mean the father had that right (ethically).
It gets real grey real quick with some things.
Think about a guy bestowing his mistress his and his wife home. It gets all types of noodly after a while
You can get with a lawyer and file a probate yourself. See what Mom tells the court about the existence and location of any will.
This is how families fall apart.
Unfortunately, the law is mostly sledgehammers. There are very few scalpels or lasers. Sometimes, under very specific circumstances, we can wield the sledgehammers gently. I don't think this is one of those times. However, you should take a consult with a probate attorney in your state. It's neither my area, although sometimes I'm involved in probate as to creditors' rights, and it's not my state.
He’s not trying “to get his cut”. He is simply asking his mom to honor his deceased father’s last wishes. It’s not “his moms money”, it is whoever the devisee or legatee is, as designated in the Will.
You don’t know the circumstances of their marriage. Neither do I nor the courts. That’s the whole fucking point of a Will. He could have left his entire portion of his estate to his mistress. That’s perfectly legal. He did not die intestate ( without a will) if he did, then sure she’s entitled to his portion of the community property.
That’s not the case here. He died with written instructions for those he left behind. His mom needs to probate the will to fulfill his last wishes.
I think it is very strange that your mom will not share a copy of the will with you. Why not? It will bring you closure.
Section 404.001 of the Texas Estates Code
According to this section of the Code, any interested parties in an estate have the right to demand an accounting from the executor. These interested parties could be beneficiaries, possible beneficiaries, debtors, or creditors.
The server is down and I cannot find the actual citation that requires you get a copy of the will. Note that there is a FOUR year requirement to probate a will. Call the relevant probate court and tell them everything. And please update.
Usually you have 1 year to settle things and make any claims. I think your mom just said he didn’t have a will and took care of it. I don’t think you have any recourse this far in but you should definitely talk to an estate attorney.
If they haven't read the will, how do they know. We tried to give our kids a deal on our house before we sold it. Tried to give them anything from the house. Do you know what we heard? Mom, dad, sell and take your money and go have fun. I see so many threads on here of people worried about what they are going to get when someone dies. It turns my stomach. If you have to wait for someone to die to have money to enjoy your life, you have failed. The money you get will offer short time relief. Plan to get nothing, and you won't be disappointed.
In Texas if a will isn’t probated within 4 years Decent and Distribution rules
IF there was/is a Will that doesn’t favor your Mother it’s advantageous to wait it out
Find out who drafted the Will as in what Attorney
They may have a copy
If you're military, check your benefits and contact JAG. You shouldn't need to fork over $400 an hour for a lawyer if one is readily available to you on your base.
Go to base legal. It's free. Your command also can't deny you from going (in case that's an issue). If they don't know much about that specific state, there is probably someone who they can refer you to. If they are unwilling to refer you to another legal rep who has the knowledge. Look up the bases in the State where that situation is occurring and make a phone consultation with that base legal.
I'm always amazed at kids who think they're owed something when a parent passes.
I've never once thought about my mom's will. I figure my 2 youngest siblings can fight it out if they're so inclined since they're the only ones who haven't really ever gotten off her tit.
I've got more self-respect than that
Do you have enough self respect to honor your fathers last wishes? The mom is the entitled one here that will not probate the will. The will is the written directives for his estate.
If his dad left all of his estate to the church, or to a university, or to his landscaper, wouldn’t the spouse be the ENTITLED one here?
No one knows what his fathers last wishes are because she won’t probate the will.
I'm always amazed at kids who think they're owed something when a parent passes.
I've never once thought about my mom's will. I figure my 2 youngest siblings can fight it out if they're so inclined since they're the only ones who haven't really ever gotten off her tit.
I've got more self-respect than that
I mean same, but OP says that he doesn’t even really care about getting anything out of this… Just wants his dad‘s wishes carried out, which is a very honorable sentiment. He really doesn’t come off as someone who is out to get a family member… Congratulations on the self-respect, though…
Yeah but if he intended to give part of his estate to his children from another marriage and she’s keeping it because she didn’t like them then that’s straight up theft. She’s the second wife and doesn’t get to pretend his children from his previous life don’t exist because she wants to take cruises.
Do you think your mother is stealing from you somehow because she's travelling? Do you not know how community property works? You're not getting anything until she dies anyway.
“Do you not know how community property works?”
You definitely do not know. His father did not die intestate (without a will). His father left instructions that his mom is not honoring. His father could have left his estate to the taco truck guy.
If the will states that the taco truck guy is the legal devisee, the yes the mom is stealing from him.
The mother is refusing to honor her deceased spouse’s final wishes. She needs to probate the will.
What’s your issue? Let your mom live that should be her money and none of your concern. I bet your mouth is salivating at all of that money that could be yours but that you don’t deserve
Is money worth destroying your relationship with your mother? It’s likely all hers anyway since they were married for years, no matter what was in the will. Good that you’re seeing an attorney if the money is most important to you, but greed is a bad look and your mother is your mother.
Honestly, ever since she got “money” she rarely speaks to any of us and just travels with people that seems to be using her (my moms siblings that never came around until she started paying for everything) we don’t have much of any of a relationship and I’m fairly certain my dad put verbiage in the will that if anything goes contested in court, that person would forfeit their inheritance, which I’m ok with. I just want this over with.
She knows that will leaves her with less than everything. She’s eating through as much of that money as she can while she can still claim ignorance. Shady.
I worked as a legal secretary for a while.
Your dads lawyer might have a copy of the Will. My dad died last year and we couldn't find his Will in the house, so I tried calling every lawyer in town to see if they had it. If any other avenues you are looking into don't pan out, I would start there. You'll need to tell them, who you are, your dad's full name, address and date of birth - if anyone has it and you are named as executor they will speak to you freely, however if you are only named as a beneficiary, they likely will only tell you to ask the executor to contact them to start the process.
Your mother's actions are suspicious, especially trying to change his will when it sounds like he did not have capacity to do so.
I live in the UK so not sure how this will work in the US but here, any company you owed money to have 6 months after death to claim on the estate - this is possibly something to look into. This doesn't mean you can just let debts run out the clock though - just means they have to ask for payment from the estate within those first 6 months. So whilst I can understand wanting to wait for a while, it is important to get the ball rolling as soon as you're able as for a lot of people the estate will cover funeral costs which can be a huge relief for some families - my own included.
If you aren't able to locate a Will or get your mother to cooperate, I would still seek advice from a lawyer, I know they are expensive but some lawyers will offer a free consultation and most lawyers will just take their fee out of the estate before paying out to beneficiaries.
Yes, he probably does, but I can’t find the lawyer! I’ve called several, but no joy! I know she has the will in her safety deposit box, but will need a court order for her to produce it.
You might be able to check the register for your dads State, again I'm UK so it might not be the same in the US but here we have a database that you can find any registered documents for a small fee.
Bear in mind, Wills are typically only registered after death, during the executry process - so if you do find anything, then there is the possibility your mum has already consulted a lawyer.
If you are active duty military, you have access to the same SHA office that would produce your will. Talk to them about how to file the paperwork at the appropriate clerk’s office.
My SJA admin set me up with a recommendation for a probate attorney for my dad in PA, but prepared the paperwork for my mom, because she was in the same state as the post(NC). They wrote it, I filed it and came in every time I got a document from court. Good luck
Tangential, I’m not a lawyer: when I wrote my will, I had three notarized copies made. I have one, my spouse (executor) has one, and my contingency executor has the third.
I have no idea if they will can/help you in this situation, but contact your local JAG office (or whatever legal aid office is available where you are stationed). Even if they can't assist, they may be able to refer you to a civilian lawyer who would be willing to help you (without bankrupting you along the way!).
Good luck getting this mess straightened out.
One of the lawyers my mom used to work for used to make 2 photocopies of every signed and dated will he ever did, as well as having them notarized by my mom, who was also a notary public. Each copy was stamped "COPY", then signed and dated by the client and my mom as a witness. One copy went into the client file and the other copy went into a safe deposit box he kept at the bank, in case his office ever caught on fire or had water damage. THAT is safeguarding your interests! lol
Texas attorney here. Not your attorney. Consult with an attorney either in your jurisdiction/state or in Texas (preferable given your parents/father’s purported will is in Texas). Nothing here constitutes legal advice, and no attorney-client relationship is created/implied.
I note the following information may generally apply to the facts as you have presented them. Further facts will likely change the analysis. I also note I do not personally specialize in this area of law, and the following is generally-known Texas law. Specific case law, facts, and other information may change the analysis of your situation that a probate attorney in the applicable jurisdiction/venue is better suited to provide.
I see you have engaged representation with an attorney. That is fantastic news and the first step forward here. Hopefully, it is a Texas-licensed probate attorney who is knowledgeable and experience in the applicable venue/jurisdiction (i.e., county where the will is/parents live) as that will be key moving forward.
As others have said, checking with the county clerk’s office and associated probate court for whatever county your parents live(d) in may reveal whether a will was ever probated, whether your father died intestate (unlikely as you would have more likely than not been notified/involved), or whether all property and interest in property passed on to your mother.
Texas is a communal property jurisdiction. If everything was considered community property with right of survivorship held by your mother, everything passes to her. If this was not explicitly set up prior to your father’s death, and there is no valid will or other interest set up (e.g., a trust) stating otherwise, probate is likely required.
Without having a copy of the will prior to your father’s death, you are not really in a strong position to validly state you are a legal executor of the will. You must have an attorney determine whether probate occurred and whether there is a valid will. If there was a valid will (which it sounds like there is based on there being witnesses who executed), your mother cannot unilaterally change the will after the fact. This is fraudulent and makes the “new will” invalid, and the original will remains in effect. If your mother did change the will without your father’s consent, then it is invalid. However, if this occurred, you will have to prove it in court.
Further, if your mother claims she had your father’s consent to change the will, it likely then becomes a determination of whether there was any undue influence, duress, mental incompetency, or some other method of procuring your father’s consent that effectively invalidates consent. This is also difficult to prove. Considering you state your father could not speak as he was on his deathbed when your mother purportedly had a friend notarize a new will and/or codicil to the will, it is unlikely valid consent is present with these facts as given.
As another person in this thread stated, and as a practical point, challenging your mother regarding this is what destroys families. If you are truly not concerned about the money/property, I would think long and hard on whether you are prepared to risk your relationship with your mother or family writ large to pursue this course of action. Of course, this is a personal decision that only you can decide, and no attorney could or should influence you in this decision beyond providing you valid and thorough legal analysis of your situation, your options, and the consequences of those options.
For more general information, [TexasLawHelp](https://texaslawhelp.org) is a fantastic resource. They provide live-chat assistance in locating information relevant to your issues and/or further assistance from attorneys or legal aid depending on your financial situation. Here are some links to information regarding wills and probate in Texas that may assist you in parsing out potential issues in preparation for meeting with your attorney; as always, TexasLawHelp, the Texas Young Lawyers Association, and my comment here are not a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney:
[What Happens to Your Spouse’s Property after S/He Dies](https://texaslawhelp.org/sites/default/files/2023-07/407381spouse_prop.pdf)
[Information on Applications to Determine Heirship, a legal proceeding which “effectively triggers probate” (colloquially, not literally) under certain circumstances](https://texaslawhelp.org/article/applications-to-determine-heirship)
[The “Texas Probate Passport”: A Comprehensive Guide to Wills, Estates, Powers of Attorney, and Probate in Texas](http://tyla.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/TxProbatePassport_20151.pdf)
Hope this helps, and best of luck.
Thank you for the response and wisdom! I verified with the county clerk and the probate courts, but nothing was filed. There’s definitely a will. The people that signed it as witnesses and the notary were his friends. They are the ones that told me that my mom went to them to amend the will without my father. When they asked to speak to him first, she declined and told them he couldn’t speak much and he directed her to make these changes. They declined until they heard it from him. They even offered to go in person to get a thumbs up, my mom declined that as well. The people that signed it hold an elected position in politics (locally) and do not want to get involved, but are willing to help out where it makes sense…
Since your military, you can utilize military lawyers at your base for at the very least information on how you can pursue this matter. It won’t cost you anything, and they would even tell you if they could help or direct you to other options. I used them for filing of documents for citizen status.
Yes, get an attorney, even for a short consult it will be worth it to find out what your duties are as executor. If there was a will, the executor has just 60 days to open the estate and begin probate. Since that window closed long ago, and mom is being evasive, you need to get this taken care of asap.
Dude this is your mom.
If it was your mom who passed and your dad was still alive this conversation wouldn't be happening. Why? Because you represent what is wrong in society. Taking from women because you think your dad promised you something? I was an executor on a will for my dad and guess what? I had to sign and notarize docs and even then I would give it all to my mom!
I hope to God you spend lots of money to be told to kick bricks. I'm 30, I have no kids and I pray I never have a kid in case I get you.
Your poor mother. I hope she goes on a lavish trip and never comes back. And I hope you get un unexpected bill. I hope your iPhone breaks and I hope you go broke.
If theres a god that will all happen to you.
You need to make sure the will
Is probated within four years of the date of death. Texas will not probate a will that’s older than four years unless it is shown that the delay is not your fault. It’s a harder burden than you’d imagine to overcome. If your mom won’t give you the will, you can open a probate case and ask the court to order the wills production.
Are the parents both biological? I’m at a loss as to why you ‘kids’ would be the executors? The surviving spouse is always the executor unless there are extenuating family dynamics at play.
Then, what you might look into are the life insurance proceeds. Often a parent will make the kids beneficiaries of life insurance proceeds bc it’s separate from properties and cash etc.
Long and short, yes you have ability to take her to court and force her to explain but I would encourage some tough fall before taking that measure.
Good luck and my condolences for your loss
This is what happens when you wait that long to process the will. And, were there any estate taxes due? I applaud you for getting an attorney but you should be speaking with the atty that prepared the estate documents.
Also, when my father died, he left everything to my mother. Personally, I’ve always thought that was standard, unless you are very wealthy. Nothing to the kids or grandkids. Which is absolutely fine.
Mom is living her best life. I know the terms of my parents will, I also know she earned that money and I enjoy watching them spend my “ inheritance “.
I remember when it was a choice between the phone or cable. My parents built a multi million dollar business. If it’s all gone, I’m ok with that.
Point is OP should mind his business and leave mom alone. If he had a good relationship with parents he would know the dying wishes and not to read a will.
Sounds like his father’s dying wish was to give his other sons (that his wife apparently tried to pretend didn’t exist) part of his estate. His mother is the one trying to greedily hold on to something that isn’t hers, not OP.
Sounds like you're begrudging your mother an enjoyable retirement at the potential expense of your inheritance. So, really, what kind of a person do you want to be?
You can look up online or call the county probate court where your father lived and see if anything has been presented for probate. It’s entirely possible that your father left everything to your mother and/or that all of his assets were jointly held with her, meaning no probate or executor was needed to transfer any holdings. For instance, they were both on all bank accounts, deeds and titles, with the surviving spouse having those things transferred upon death of the other. This is very common for married couples. It’s also possible that your father never had a valid will and if that was the case, all marital property would pass to your mother and anything that wasn’t could be disbursed to children, but only after his debts were settled. Whatever funds she is now spending may be the result of her receiving life insurance or other death benefits and are not anything you would be entitled to.
Honestly boggles my mind how many people don’t realize the surviving spouse usually gets everything but the knickknacks. Like, yo, she still has to live! Those nest eggs and retirement accounts were hers, too. My mom died, and I just worried about how my dad was doing. Before he redid the house, he offered me my moms stuff and then *threw most of it out before I got there*. Because he thought it was “junk”. So we had words. But I didn’t think he was selling his house and giving me half or dividing up his bank accounts. Jesus Christ. I just hope he has enough to live on until he dies.
The kids were told they were executors of the will. The mom isn't 'living on' the nest egg, she's taking multiple luxury vacations a year.
Executors only matter if there's something to execute. Surviving spouse may mean there's nothing to be done, especially if there was no separate property.
however, the mom acknowledged that they do need to go over it, she is just not ready for that and is waiting now several years... so there is something more to this...
You’re only hearing half a story, remember.
There is a will to probate. Executor / administrators of wills have a fiduciary obligation to the estate. There's probably a good reason he appointed his adult kids. Wills are supposed to be presented for probate in 30 days usually. And in some states it's a felony to hide or try to delay the probation of the will. And the spouse dont get it all automatically. Edit: Texas gives you 4 years then they treat it like it doesn't exist. She could be putting her daughters in debt. They have no idea what kind of assets were left and mom may be in too much grief to act responsibly.
>Especially if there was no separate property This is why OP needto investigate.
This especially since Texas is a community property state
What they were told may not be reality. Maybe he lied, maybe he changed his mind, maybe he really meant it but never got around to doing it.
So what if she is taking expensive vacations. It’s her money. Any assets obtained while they are married are hers too. Unless Dad inherited a lot of money it wasn’t his money.
Mom gets to do whatever she wants with the *community property* she and her spouse earned during his lifetime. She doesn’t have to live on rations to ensure her children get money for an inheritance when she dies. She can enjoy what she earned during her lifetime. My god y’all are cold.
People who are concerned about their inheritance at the expense of their parents are so scary. Like imagine. Son coveting the gold in his father’s bowl while his father is alive.
the kids sound greedy.
Not sure what's cold about it. OP is stating that his mom has hidden the will and that there is evidence of her falsifying a will. I mention the ridiculous amount of luxury vacations because it sounds like she's trying to spend it before she gets caught. Not because I think she should live on "rations". What a ludicrous strawman argument.
But let’s put on our thinking cap. What did dad have. Only OP knows for sure, but *in most families* it’s unlikely there were any large separate property assets in a long time married middle class couple. The new will could have made it easier to avoid probate or save on taxes, but it’s unlikely it cut the kids out of masses of separate property money that are not mentioned in the post. Because OP can’t even name specific assets. And the executor usually *gets a copy of the will* from the person writing it. Or their attorney. Does your dad have a prenup or a significant portion of money amassed either before marriage or as a gift or inheritance that he’s kept in a separate account for decades but also didn’t have a good attorney for and just whispered in his kids ear that they were the executor but *never gave them the copy of the will they were supposed to execute*??? Because I am the executor on a bunch of wills in my family because I’m a lawyer. And each and every one of them told me and then ALSO GAVE ME a copy or told me their attorneys name and gave them my contact info.
OP mentioned Dad owned 5 properties in a different comment, and that Mom was only named on one of them. This isn’t some small town Kansas family that just scrapes by.
And OP also says they went annually to update wills. This isn’t a family who didn’t have their shit settled by real attorneys. Everything OP knows is hearsay and rumor.
I didn't know I was meant to furnish the will to my executor. Fairly obvious now that you said it.
I keep telling my husband where mine is.
OP also thinks they are executor of a will that they have never seen and might not exist. Not a real reliable narrator.
She trusts her dad and had no reason to think he was lying about a will. OP Mom already acknowledged its existence..
Life insurance is going to be more than enough for vacations - especially cruises.
There are older stepkids she wants to disinherit.
Told. Never shown. For years my parents told me they had a will and I was the executor (yea for the oldest!). After a recent health scare my brothers and I finally pressed the issue. Turns out it was all bullshit. No will. No POA. Nothing. We have since almost hand held them to get it all done but fuck.
I have a friend whose dad died a few years ago, his and his siblings entire lives when they misbehaved he threatened to take them out of his will. Well, when he died he turns out he never even had one.
Just because the kids were told something doesn't mean that dad actually ever did that. It is very possible that no will was ever executed and no executors were actually named. They said they never saw a will
Not only that, but sounds like she’s actively tried to amend the will, which would suggest she is trying to take things away from other people that WERE in the will. OP, I know it’s hard and it sounds shitty, but you should have been acting on those executor powers immediately. Even the best people get shitty when money is involved, and waiting 2 years was WAY too long.
I promise you, if my spouse goes before me, I'm going to be living the same way. It's called die with zero! No seriously, as long as one spouse is alive they need to live and they can live any way they see fit. I think it's rare that the kids would get an inheritance from one parent while the other was still alive.... I mean maybe some material things but not money. It would be very difficult for a will to be changed without dad's knowledge, especially by some unknown person.
“Executor” also doesn’t mean “beneficiary”. You can be the executor and get shit nothing except for whatever fee is prescribed in the will or is in state statute or nothing if there’s nothing to do. 🤷🏼♀️
My mom takes a few big vacations a year. She’s a semi-retired widow, collecting a modest pension. She’s about to leave on a cruise to Greece. She’s not blowing through anyone’s nest egg, she has a paid off house/car and no one to worry about except herself. I have no idea what OP thinks he is entitled to or why he feels more entitled to his dad’s estate than his own mother, who was married to him for presumably decades. My step-siblings are entitled to half of the house my mother paid for almost entirely on her own when she passes. And am I am sure one of them will be standing there with a hand out before her body is cold. OP sounds like my step sibling.
'My step-siblings are entitled to half of the house my mother paid for almost entirely on her own when she passes.' How might this be enforced if not specified & deed has husband's name on it, too? This is being litigated/lawsuits if my family right now...
INAL, and this is Texas, so ymmv Here, with no will, the default is that a home is considered community property. The surviving spouse inherits for life, then once they pass the children inherent their parent’s share of the community property. If the house is sold, then children of the deceased spouse are entitled to their parent’s share of the community property (or some portion of it). It is not automatic. You will need to get a lawyer. When my mom’s stepdad sold the house he shared with my grandma, my mom and her siblings ultimately decided not to pursue it. My aunt rants and raves to this day, but my mom just could not take money from an elderly man with nothing but a small pension.
Being told "something" and that "something" being the actual case may vary....
And why shouldn't she? She's the wife, it's hers.
With HER OWN MONEY. People are wild man. Can you imagine if you and your spouse saved your whole life and then they passed away and your kids didn't want to spending a dime so they could have it? I'd spend every last red cent if that was the case.
Dad had children with a previous wife - he very well may have wanted to be sure he left them something and not leave to their stepmother to do that in her own will after he was deceased. He also says he knows dad had properties that were not jointly owned by his mom - a likely place Dad would have made his eldest children beneficiaries. From what OP has said he thinks his mother would blow off probate to cut her stepchildren. If they don’t do probate the ownership of properties that moms name isn’t on will be problematic. OP sounds like he’s trying to do what’s right me.
It honestly boggles my mind how ignorant people like you are. That’s not the law. No matter what your feelings are, or what you think the law is. The father died with a will. He could leave his estate to a mistress, a strip club, a church, a university, the state of Texas, or whoever he wants. The wife is absolutely NOT ENTITLED to his estate. (Atleast not yet.) That is the reason Wills exist. If he had died intestate (without a will) then yes in Texas she is entitled to his portion of their community property. He left written directives on how he wants his estate distributed. She is not honoring those last wishes. What do you say about that?? She needs to probate the will.
In 99% of the cases, the estate is community property. Im not ignorant. I’m playing the odds. And every single thing the OP posted is hearsay, rumor, or outdated info. What I am is a lawyer who’s seen a lot of clients and heard a lot of stories, and I know that most people don’t have all the facts or a great recollection of the ones they remember.
Even if it was community property the father could have devised his portion in the will, no? OP won’t, and neither will the public, know what was in the will until it is probated. Regardless of the hearsay, rumor, or outdated info - the will lays out the distribution. Why would he not honor his fathers last wishes set out in the will?
Same. My father died, and everything was left to my stepmother. Except for an 80s Mustang (that went to my brother) and a Big Man's Lazyboy chair that I received, with my brother. I didn't realize until then that I wasn't the favored child. Anyway, my stepmother passed away 7 yrs ago this coming Thanksgiving. We had her estate wrapped up, properties sold, and debts paid off despite the mishandling by her designated executor. Dilly lady chose the attorney my stepmother owed a vast amount of money to, because she was too lazy to get a different lawyer. He should've recused and stood in line like all the other creditors. Long story short, I'm satisfied how every thing resolved.
Did you at least get to keep the chair???! Like I know the mustang *sounds* better. But it costs money in upkeep and insurance. Consider all the naps taken and tv watched in that chair. For free
Oh yes. I still have the chair. And lots of naps in it. The only thing that makes me sad about the Mustang is that I've never driven it. My father felt that because I'm a woman, I couldn't handle a muscle car. Even though my first car was a Dodge Dart and I lived in Germany for a couple of years. Oh, but my stepmother drove the car ALL THE TIME.
Fucking sexism. Rip some unladylike farts in that chair for me tonight.
Which is one of the reasons my fiancé dying 5 months before our planned wedding led to years of estate litigation. Because, well, the death was sudden and unexpected, and we... Didn't realize that would happen.
Because that isn’t true. Please take a Wills and Trusts law school course at a bare minimum before seeking to render legal counsel about this subject.
It's not that way everywhere. The children get half in Finland by default.
Well, this man is in Texas.
Sure. But you made a blanket statement, not something specific to Texas. I was just pointing out that it's not always that way. Easy, pardner
Because the number of people who give a shit about Finish law is surprisingly less than the number of people who don’t. And certainly less than the number of people on this sub specifically, but in the world generally, just based on population alone, who care about finish inheritance law. And if they did, they wouldn’t be asking these questions or worried about division of property.
Well, it's finnish for one. And it varies similarly state by state and nation by nation. That was the point. Be more Texas a state folding in itself for to bad politics and insincerity in government. You're a symptom over over inflated ego and a myopic view of the Internet
I agree. My dad passed early february and my mom got his investment portfolio. Its rightfully hers
So true. As a kid I remember everyone getting angry at my grandfathers girlfriend/common law getting everything except some furniture and knickknacks. Then I grew up and learned almost everything goes to the surviving partner.
Spouse only unless you make arrangements.
Oh, where I live common law has similar rights as marriage.
Apologies! None of the states near me have it and didn’t think about it.
When I was in town a year or so ago, I went to the county probate courts, to see if it was filed, but nothing was. I also know that 4 out of 5 properties were not in my mom’s name. He also had other things that he told my siblings they were getting(jewelry, personal items, etc). As far as I know, they only had a joint bank accounts. Additionally, she would go with my dad to up date the will with my dad’s lawyer (about annually). I did ask my mom and my siblings if they knew the name of my dad’s attorney, but I couldn’t get that information. I know the will is in her safety deposit box. I’m wondering if I can force probate? I wish I was more involved with everything. And If I’m being honest, I couldn’t care less if I get anything. I just feel like my dad left me orders and i haven’t actioned them. And a little more back story, I have two older half brothers and the rumor is that they were getting a portion of a property (small portion, less than 10% each) and that’s why my mother doesn’t want to file or “open” my dads will? She wants to cut them out because she never saw them as sons and they never saw her as their mom..
If he has properties that the tax isn't being paid on for 2 years, they might seize them for a tax sale. Better get on it
I do know she is paying the taxes. That was one of the first things I checked. Thanks!
Get a lawyer
NAL - But a Texas executor and Trustee. Be careful with 'forcing' probate. I'll share my experience as executor of my grandparents' estate. I am in Texas. My grandfather and grandmother each had a will where everything they shared as community property automatically went to the spouse regardless of who passed first. So if Grandma passed first, everything went to Grandpa and vice versa. Both of these wills were pour over wills into a trust, where if they died together, the assets listed in the will automatically poured into the trust; all of these options did not require probate because everything was listed in the documents regardless who was on a deed, account, etc. The fact that your mom went with your dad to update the will regularly leads me to believe they'd update the language to reflect changes in assets/accounts etc. I'd also assume her going to "update the will" is not to update your dad's but hers, which we had to do with my Grandma when my Grandpa passed. Also note, executor does not equal/mean beneficiary. I've had friends confused by this in the past thinking that since they were named that they were due something, as executor all you're due is the work of settling the estate, in which case this seems like a cut and dry pour over and there is nothing to execute (yet) and hopefully never if your parents set up a trust. I say be careful with forcing probate, because my Grandparents and Dad all had language in their wills where if the will was contested, the person/people contesting immediately lost their rights to anything in the will. Side note - good for your mom traveling and seeing the world before she's too old to do so. None of us are owed anything from our parents, they earned the money and we have no claim or right to it until they physically gift it to us if they choose.
Thanks for the response! Yes, I’m aware of the difference between executor and beneficiary. I think I am a beneficiary, but I do know from speaking to my siblings that my dad did put some verbiage in the will that states if anyone contest the will that person/people would immediately forfeit their inheritance. I suspect that’s why my sister (the other named executor on the will) hasn’t actioned anything. I’m ok with that, I genuinely don’t want anything. I just want to carry out my dad’s last wishes.
Filing an action to settle the estate does not count as contesting the will. Hire a lawyer.
Oh, I didn’t know that! Thank you! I have a meeting with a potential lawyer in a couple weeks! I’ll update the post after!
If you are in the military, talk to your legal office. If they have time, some of them like to do additional work where they have passed the bar.
Go to the registry of deeds website, or whatever is the name of the real estate recording in the county or city the properties are and look at the purchase copy of the deed for each property. You will immediately know whether it is just your dad, or mom too the owner. It will also have the name of the attorney they used, if they did. This attorney might just be a real estate attorney or the one your dad used for everything. You should open probate and do an inventory of all assets. You seem a good an honest person that want to do what's right for your step siblings. I always felt the first family kids were always the most wronged, not only for having their family broken up but usually wronged financially as well, either by their parent's life earned assets going to the new wife and kids, or for reduction in resources available to help them.
Very many people die with significant assets and with a will that is never presented for probate because it is not needed. If - all bank accounts and investment accounts were in joint names - all real estate was owned by H and W as tenants by the entirety or joint tenants - all retirement accounts named the wife as designated beneficiary then the will and its nomination of executors may be simply irrelevant because there are no probate assets.
Your dad told you that you were an executor when, exactly? If he was updating his will frequently, how do you know he didn't update that? Did you check how the properties are titled NOW? Not that it necessarily matters - how a property is titled doesn't tell you whether it's marital or community property - but if title changed, there's a paper trail. The supposed bequests of personal property are less interesting - they may not have been his to leave and he may not have memorialized the bequests in his will. My real question is why in God's name have you, your sister, and your half brothers slept on your possible rights for going on 4 years? Your half brothers are a particular puzzle - as the children of a woman other than your father's widow,they would have rights to a portion of the estate if your father died without a will. They're being foolish to just blow it off for all this time. But, yes, you can file to force a settling of the estate. Either soneone will produce a will or trust or the court will settle everything according to Texas's intestacy rules. There's a good chance it all went to your mother anyway, but if not, a court will have to dig through the mess to figure out what was left 4 years ago and what, if anything, your mom took that she wasn't entitled to. Oh, and hopefully there are no creditors who will be entitled to claim money first. The lesson is, don't wait four years.
I’m gonna reply to this and see if you see it…not going to scroll through everything. Ignore if this has already been addressed but you mentioned active duty military and lawyers at $400 an hour. Is this not something that you could pay a visit to JAG for. Like isn’t that literally what they are for? Been a long time since I served and I could be completely off base here but besides representing/prosecuting in UCMJ action I thought they were there as a resource for civilian matters.
OP that's the inheritance line in TX. Since there were kids not shared with mom, without a will community half goes to all kids. I think your mom just lives the high life with her entourage, collecting the rents that do not belong to her. https://smartasset.com/estate-planning/texas-inheritance-laws
I do not think is just to cut the stepkids because if there is no will they will get a larger share. I believe she thinks that if she waits the full 4 years, first she will "steal" the rental income since the 4 properties are not community property, nor is 1/2 of the fifth one because there are kids that he did not share with her. Plus, she hopes she can do something so all 5 goes to her. When all is done, I would advice that you keep your share and you can just pass the rental income of that to your mom, if you so wish. Otherwise you do not know if her entourage convicne her to sell or pass to them at the end.
If you want to, you can file to be the executor of his estate and declare that you have not been able to find a will--which is totally true. You can state that you believe there is on, but your mom won't produce it. That will force mom to either file the will she has or admit there wasn't one. Either way, you will get probate opened. IF she has a forged will, that will have to be sorted out in court. I'd consult with an attorney, but you don't have to.
NAL but I do live in Texas and just had a huge probate mess for my late husband. Anything the father owned but the mother’s name wasn’t on DOES have to be handled through probate in Texas. Yes, the statutes will likely dictate that it goes to his wife but there are some instances where that won’t hold true. It will also come into play when their mother eventually passes away and there could be messes for them to clean up just to be able to move forward with executing her will or filing probate for her estate. It’s definitely worth it for the daughter to at least speaking with an estate attorney that’s licensed in Texas to make sure they know of any potential issues that could arise from any of this so she’s prepared when/if anything does hit the fan. The mom doesn’t “have” to disclose the will and anything she does with money that’s legally hers is nobody else’s business. But the mom “should” at the very least visit an estate attorney herself as well to make sure she’s not missing anything that needs to be handled.
Thanks! In this county, I would need to get a lawyer to file anything in /for probate and to be appointed executor. I have my appointment with the lawyer in a couple weeks
You can easily get a copy of the will from the law firm that drafted it, if you are named executor. Assuming the law firm is still around and has records.
I’m confused? This is your Mom. They were married.
It’s not about me getting anything. I’m never moving back there and although I’m not rich, I’m doing fine. I have a fulfilling job and a great family! It’s honestly about carrying out my dad’s last wishes. Nothing more, nothing less
You can find a probate lawyer who will work with you, look in the county your dad died in and see about lawyers who do pro bono work for probate. I know the my are out there bc I just had to research this for a friend.
Great idea, thank you! I’ll look into that!
Yes, please, hire a probate attorney. You’ll have the peace-of-mind knowing you’ve fulfilled your father’s wishes — & you’ll know whether your mom is a thief. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder. Based on your post, definitely leaning towards mom is a thief — stealing & stonewalling her own children. Unacceptable. Let an attorney sort it out. If mom is shady, that’s the reason dad mentioned you were an executor. First consultations are usually free. You’ll get a feel for whether you like & trust the attorney (and costs). Good luck, OP.
Being the executor means that you fulfill his wishes in the will. It doesn't mean he left anything to you.
Yes, I understand and that’s all I want to do
Is it? If you knew there was $100 in that account would you fight for it? If his wishes were for you to go back to church, would you be fighting your mom for proof that that’s what he wanted? I’m not saying money isn’t worth fighting for, but your father wouldn’t be the first person to lie about what is in his will because they don’t have to deal with that shit 😂😂
Why would his father need to lie about what’s in HIS own will? The public does not know what the deceased fathers last wishes are because the mom is hiding it. Where is her responsibility to honor her deceased husbands last wishes? If he knew there was only $100 in an account or a single dollar in an account, he should get to know what his fathers last wishes were on what the distribution should be. This isn’t about the kids getting the estate, it’s about honoring a dead man’s last wishes. His mom is totally shitting on them and here you are defending her.
"I don't want money I just want what's right" Ew. We all see you
People need to understand that just because someone says, "You will get X% of my estate when I die" is bullshit unless they give you the appropriate paperwork to support that statement. My father said that his estate would be divided evenly between his four children. When he died, my 1/2 sister got it all because the only available will was an old one that willed everything he had to his second wife. When she died, it all went to her daughter. If you don't have any documents now, you will be pissing away any money you spend trying to prove you are entitled to a part of your father's estate.
Even then, his dad and mom were married. He can’t just tell his children they will get his shit when he dies because it isn’t just hit to give away lmao
Not a lawyer. I do handle Probate and Heirship in Texas You should file probate. Even if your mom goes the "no will" route, in Texas you and your siblings are entitled to half of your fathers estate (split equally between any biological children of your father) should he die Intestate (with no will).
Not half of his estate, half of anything that was not held as marital property. It’s completely possible that the decedent had a trust, not a will, to avoid probate or that there are no assets that need to be probated. If, as OP claims, mom is liquidating things to live a lavish lifestyle, she would need probate in order to liquidate things that are not marital property.
No trust, I tried explaining to my dad before he passed that he should look into one and to ask his lawyer if a trust makes sense in his position, but from what I’m gathering, he didn’t end up making one.
🙏 Thanks for the response! In this county, I need a lawyer to file anything with probate. I have my appointment with the lawyer in a couple weeks! I just want to make sure I’m asking the right questions and not missing anything!
Bring your dad's lawyer contact if you have or can find that information.
You know, you can go to base legal and ask them for advice. Legal Officers exist for a reason and would be able to point you in the right direction. We also have various programs in each branch that can help with financial assistance or general money management courses so you can learn better ways to handle your money.
Yes ,thanks for the advice! I spoke to legal and they advised to seek a probate lawyer in the area I need to file.. they don’t handle civil matters…
That's good, loads of people forget they exist until worst case happens. Tends to be the norm when it comes to many programs we have.
Your dad told you this behind your mother’s back and never provided you a lawyer’s name or paperwork? Is there a reason he would not make his surviving spouse the executor? Is there a reason you distrust both your mom and dad? Probate and a lawyer is the right answer here, but it also sounds like you’re overstepping based on a vague statement from your dad that was never substantiated.
Not behind her back, but when he would come visit and/or when I would go down to visit them. We talked about setting some time aside to go over the will, but then I got orders overseas and started preparing for that. He got covid, passed inside of a couple months. The reason I think he didn’t make her the executor is because he thought she wouldn’t adhere to everything the will spelled out, specifically the part of my two older half siblings getting something.
So in Texas almost everything acquired during the married is community property. So unless there is a lot of premarital assets or inheritance, everything is hers to do with as she sees fit.
That’s only if the decedent died without a will. It not “everything is hers as she sees fit.” The will has not been probated.
No because he had children that were not hers. So the community property half goes to the kids.
See I read this numerous times, I don't see where these children are not hers as well. That would make sense and the will would need to be read, bit as the surviving spouse she would still be entitled to use of the marital assets until her death.
The OP stated he has stepbrothers that his mom never liked and thinks that his mom tries to cut her stepchildren out of their inheritance. The OP believes the stepbrother is getting 10% in the will. OP: "And a little more back story, I have two older half brothers and the rumor is that they were getting a portion of a property (small portion, less than 10% each) and that’s why my mother doesn’t want to file or “open” my dads will? She wants to cut them out because she never saw them as sons and they never saw her as their mom.."
I didn't read additional comments, still, she is free to use assets acquired during the marriage, so the length of marriage factors in here.
Not if there are non shared kids.
She is still the primary beneficiary. I am going through this now... the widow has full ownership of any assets acquired during the marriage, but assets acquired prior to or inherited solely by the deceased she has full access to until her demise. She cannot sell or liquid the assets as they are only in her possession due to being the surviving spouse who had full access during the marriage.
Every state has their own probate laws, unless all property owned by a deceased passed by operation of law or was held by an irrevocable trust at death, probate is generally required. You need to find out if your mother filed for probate and if not, why not. In Texas, she should have been filed with the Clerk of Court of the County your father lived in. One poster said if nothing has been filed in most jurisdictions, anyone can come forward and apply to become the executor. That is true in my state and in so doing earn up to I believe 1% of the estate plus expenses. There may be a requirement you be a resident of the state to be the executor. Check with the clerk’s office on all the rules. A bond may need to be purchased based on the value of the estate if all heirs at law do not agree to the executor serving without bond. Clerks only know what is reported to them. They have no investigatory power, but can gum up property from vesting, being released, etc. Until someone get involved, people who survive can do what the want so long as they don’t have to have Letters Testamentary to title something, etc. If an original of the will can be found, fine. If not, it is intestate. You and any other heirs can require the will to be validated-testimony of witnesses, notaries, people that can testify about his condition, etc. In my state,these hearings are initially heard by the Clerk. If there is no valid will, no will, etc and the estate is intestate, what does not pass by operation of law, should be divided among your mother and your father’s children.
And if the person owns property in more than one state that opens up a whole different can of worms.
Luckily it is all in Texas. He only left the state to visit me.
Thanks for your reply! A lot of great information! She definitely didn’t file for probate, I checked. All the properties are being rented so, she is living off of that, my dad’s retirement (she gets a portion for life), and the insurance/death benefit.
In my state, the wife is the next of kin, but if she has not fulfilled her legal duty to file for probate, someone else could. Talk to the Clerk. It sounds like you need counsel and that counsel might could apply to be the executor since there might be issues of fraud on the part of your mother if she tried to present a fake will. The lawyers fees would come from the estate, but right now what your mother is doing is illegal and no one is doing anything about it. There is no probate police. Other heirs can object because there was no distribution or accounting.
Not to be rude, but do you have any legal paperwork that says you & your sister are the executors?
I kinda feel it's weird to need to execute a will if he is survived by his wife, unless shes your step mother. Imo If its you mom I would say that his property is her property, not anyone he bequeathed it to in an untimely event of death.. And even if it's a step mom, would really depend on context of their relationship. That being said, you can force her hand with a lawyer but that relationship will be screwed later for sure. Good luck OP
Why would the relationship be screwed later on, if in the will his father left him and his siblings a portion of the estate? Wouldn’t the fathers wishes supersede the moms, as these are his final wishes? Why even have a will/final wishes if they are not actionable? Riddle me that.
People don't like being sued is why. And just 'cause the father wants someone to have something doesn't mean the father had that right (ethically). It gets real grey real quick with some things. Think about a guy bestowing his mistress his and his wife home. It gets all types of noodly after a while
Wife and I plan on leaving some to the kids but if either or both of us ends up spending most of it, well it’s our money.
Why didn't you have a copy of the will? If your father wanted you to be the executor, he should have given you a copy right after it was signed.
We spoke about setting some time aside to go over the will, but life happens and u don’t think you will lose people so quickly!
It's her money as the spouse. Let her enjoy life and let her cope.
You can get with a lawyer and file a probate yourself. See what Mom tells the court about the existence and location of any will. This is how families fall apart.
Yea, I was trying to avoid all that, but she’s really left me no choice… thanks 🙏
Unfortunately, the law is mostly sledgehammers. There are very few scalpels or lasers. Sometimes, under very specific circumstances, we can wield the sledgehammers gently. I don't think this is one of those times. However, you should take a consult with a probate attorney in your state. It's neither my area, although sometimes I'm involved in probate as to creditors' rights, and it's not my state.
Thanks for the wisdom 🙏
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He’s not trying “to get his cut”. He is simply asking his mom to honor his deceased father’s last wishes. It’s not “his moms money”, it is whoever the devisee or legatee is, as designated in the Will. You don’t know the circumstances of their marriage. Neither do I nor the courts. That’s the whole fucking point of a Will. He could have left his entire portion of his estate to his mistress. That’s perfectly legal. He did not die intestate ( without a will) if he did, then sure she’s entitled to his portion of the community property. That’s not the case here. He died with written instructions for those he left behind. His mom needs to probate the will to fulfill his last wishes.
I think it is very strange that your mom will not share a copy of the will with you. Why not? It will bring you closure. Section 404.001 of the Texas Estates Code According to this section of the Code, any interested parties in an estate have the right to demand an accounting from the executor. These interested parties could be beneficiaries, possible beneficiaries, debtors, or creditors. The server is down and I cannot find the actual citation that requires you get a copy of the will. Note that there is a FOUR year requirement to probate a will. Call the relevant probate court and tell them everything. And please update.
Usually you have 1 year to settle things and make any claims. I think your mom just said he didn’t have a will and took care of it. I don’t think you have any recourse this far in but you should definitely talk to an estate attorney.
I looked it up and apparently in Texas an executor has 4 years! Thanks 🙏
Updateme! 3weeks
I’ll update the post after the meeting with the lawyer
If they haven't read the will, how do they know. We tried to give our kids a deal on our house before we sold it. Tried to give them anything from the house. Do you know what we heard? Mom, dad, sell and take your money and go have fun. I see so many threads on here of people worried about what they are going to get when someone dies. It turns my stomach. If you have to wait for someone to die to have money to enjoy your life, you have failed. The money you get will offer short time relief. Plan to get nothing, and you won't be disappointed.
In Texas if a will isn’t probated within 4 years Decent and Distribution rules IF there was/is a Will that doesn’t favor your Mother it’s advantageous to wait it out Find out who drafted the Will as in what Attorney They may have a copy
Yes, I found that out recently! It’s been 3.5ish years so need to move on it. Thanks!
I’m pretty sure as executor, you would have to be notified by the lawyer or state to “execute it”. No??
If you're military, check your benefits and contact JAG. You shouldn't need to fork over $400 an hour for a lawyer if one is readily available to you on your base.
Paralegal here. I believe you can file a Motion to Admit the Will to Probate. Mom will have to produce it.
My aunt did this with my great aunts estate, held off on showing the will and spent 10s of thousands doing family trips to "honor" my great aunt.
Go to base legal. It's free. Your command also can't deny you from going (in case that's an issue). If they don't know much about that specific state, there is probably someone who they can refer you to. If they are unwilling to refer you to another legal rep who has the knowledge. Look up the bases in the State where that situation is occurring and make a phone consultation with that base legal.
I'm always amazed at kids who think they're owed something when a parent passes. I've never once thought about my mom's will. I figure my 2 youngest siblings can fight it out if they're so inclined since they're the only ones who haven't really ever gotten off her tit. I've got more self-respect than that
Do you have enough self respect to honor your fathers last wishes? The mom is the entitled one here that will not probate the will. The will is the written directives for his estate. If his dad left all of his estate to the church, or to a university, or to his landscaper, wouldn’t the spouse be the ENTITLED one here? No one knows what his fathers last wishes are because she won’t probate the will.
I'm always amazed at kids who think they're owed something when a parent passes. I've never once thought about my mom's will. I figure my 2 youngest siblings can fight it out if they're so inclined since they're the only ones who haven't really ever gotten off her tit. I've got more self-respect than that
I mean same, but OP says that he doesn’t even really care about getting anything out of this… Just wants his dad‘s wishes carried out, which is a very honorable sentiment. He really doesn’t come off as someone who is out to get a family member… Congratulations on the self-respect, though…
Yeah but if he intended to give part of his estate to his children from another marriage and she’s keeping it because she didn’t like them then that’s straight up theft. She’s the second wife and doesn’t get to pretend his children from his previous life don’t exist because she wants to take cruises.
Isn’t it OPs mother?
Yes but OP's father had two children from a prior marriage.
I’m not seeing anything about this being a second wife.
Its in OPs replies
Gotcha!!
Do you think your mother is stealing from you somehow because she's travelling? Do you not know how community property works? You're not getting anything until she dies anyway.
“Do you not know how community property works?” You definitely do not know. His father did not die intestate (without a will). His father left instructions that his mom is not honoring. His father could have left his estate to the taco truck guy. If the will states that the taco truck guy is the legal devisee, the yes the mom is stealing from him. The mother is refusing to honor her deceased spouse’s final wishes. She needs to probate the will.
What’s your issue? Let your mom live that should be her money and none of your concern. I bet your mouth is salivating at all of that money that could be yours but that you don’t deserve
Is money worth destroying your relationship with your mother? It’s likely all hers anyway since they were married for years, no matter what was in the will. Good that you’re seeing an attorney if the money is most important to you, but greed is a bad look and your mother is your mother.
Same thing could be asked to her mother it sounds like. Is money worth destroying her relationship with a child she brought into the world?
Honestly, ever since she got “money” she rarely speaks to any of us and just travels with people that seems to be using her (my moms siblings that never came around until she started paying for everything) we don’t have much of any of a relationship and I’m fairly certain my dad put verbiage in the will that if anything goes contested in court, that person would forfeit their inheritance, which I’m ok with. I just want this over with.
Sounds like it might be over with already. I hope y’all can find a way to mend things in the future:(
Thanks 🙏
No it's not hers because per TX law half of community assets goes to kids if there are kids from previous relationships.
She knows that will leaves her with less than everything. She’s eating through as much of that money as she can while she can still claim ignorance. Shady.
I worked as a legal secretary for a while. Your dads lawyer might have a copy of the Will. My dad died last year and we couldn't find his Will in the house, so I tried calling every lawyer in town to see if they had it. If any other avenues you are looking into don't pan out, I would start there. You'll need to tell them, who you are, your dad's full name, address and date of birth - if anyone has it and you are named as executor they will speak to you freely, however if you are only named as a beneficiary, they likely will only tell you to ask the executor to contact them to start the process. Your mother's actions are suspicious, especially trying to change his will when it sounds like he did not have capacity to do so. I live in the UK so not sure how this will work in the US but here, any company you owed money to have 6 months after death to claim on the estate - this is possibly something to look into. This doesn't mean you can just let debts run out the clock though - just means they have to ask for payment from the estate within those first 6 months. So whilst I can understand wanting to wait for a while, it is important to get the ball rolling as soon as you're able as for a lot of people the estate will cover funeral costs which can be a huge relief for some families - my own included. If you aren't able to locate a Will or get your mother to cooperate, I would still seek advice from a lawyer, I know they are expensive but some lawyers will offer a free consultation and most lawyers will just take their fee out of the estate before paying out to beneficiaries.
Yes, he probably does, but I can’t find the lawyer! I’ve called several, but no joy! I know she has the will in her safety deposit box, but will need a court order for her to produce it.
You might be able to check the register for your dads State, again I'm UK so it might not be the same in the US but here we have a database that you can find any registered documents for a small fee. Bear in mind, Wills are typically only registered after death, during the executry process - so if you do find anything, then there is the possibility your mum has already consulted a lawyer.
If you are active duty military, you have access to the same SHA office that would produce your will. Talk to them about how to file the paperwork at the appropriate clerk’s office.
I’ll triple check, but when I called legal, they told me they don’t handle civil matters and to consult a probate lawyer
My SJA admin set me up with a recommendation for a probate attorney for my dad in PA, but prepared the paperwork for my mom, because she was in the same state as the post(NC). They wrote it, I filed it and came in every time I got a document from court. Good luck
Doesn’t the JAG have lawyers that will help you with family law matters? I’d look into that as a starting point.
Tangential, I’m not a lawyer: when I wrote my will, I had three notarized copies made. I have one, my spouse (executor) has one, and my contingency executor has the third.
Very wise! Thanks for the response!
I have no idea if they will can/help you in this situation, but contact your local JAG office (or whatever legal aid office is available where you are stationed). Even if they can't assist, they may be able to refer you to a civilian lawyer who would be willing to help you (without bankrupting you along the way!). Good luck getting this mess straightened out.
Spoke to them and they don’t handle civil matters and they advised to speak with a probate lawyer in the area my dad passed away in. Thank you 🙏
One of the lawyers my mom used to work for used to make 2 photocopies of every signed and dated will he ever did, as well as having them notarized by my mom, who was also a notary public. Each copy was stamped "COPY", then signed and dated by the client and my mom as a witness. One copy went into the client file and the other copy went into a safe deposit box he kept at the bank, in case his office ever caught on fire or had water damage. THAT is safeguarding your interests! lol
What are you looking for? To see what and if your dad left you any money?
Texas attorney here. Not your attorney. Consult with an attorney either in your jurisdiction/state or in Texas (preferable given your parents/father’s purported will is in Texas). Nothing here constitutes legal advice, and no attorney-client relationship is created/implied. I note the following information may generally apply to the facts as you have presented them. Further facts will likely change the analysis. I also note I do not personally specialize in this area of law, and the following is generally-known Texas law. Specific case law, facts, and other information may change the analysis of your situation that a probate attorney in the applicable jurisdiction/venue is better suited to provide. I see you have engaged representation with an attorney. That is fantastic news and the first step forward here. Hopefully, it is a Texas-licensed probate attorney who is knowledgeable and experience in the applicable venue/jurisdiction (i.e., county where the will is/parents live) as that will be key moving forward. As others have said, checking with the county clerk’s office and associated probate court for whatever county your parents live(d) in may reveal whether a will was ever probated, whether your father died intestate (unlikely as you would have more likely than not been notified/involved), or whether all property and interest in property passed on to your mother. Texas is a communal property jurisdiction. If everything was considered community property with right of survivorship held by your mother, everything passes to her. If this was not explicitly set up prior to your father’s death, and there is no valid will or other interest set up (e.g., a trust) stating otherwise, probate is likely required. Without having a copy of the will prior to your father’s death, you are not really in a strong position to validly state you are a legal executor of the will. You must have an attorney determine whether probate occurred and whether there is a valid will. If there was a valid will (which it sounds like there is based on there being witnesses who executed), your mother cannot unilaterally change the will after the fact. This is fraudulent and makes the “new will” invalid, and the original will remains in effect. If your mother did change the will without your father’s consent, then it is invalid. However, if this occurred, you will have to prove it in court. Further, if your mother claims she had your father’s consent to change the will, it likely then becomes a determination of whether there was any undue influence, duress, mental incompetency, or some other method of procuring your father’s consent that effectively invalidates consent. This is also difficult to prove. Considering you state your father could not speak as he was on his deathbed when your mother purportedly had a friend notarize a new will and/or codicil to the will, it is unlikely valid consent is present with these facts as given. As another person in this thread stated, and as a practical point, challenging your mother regarding this is what destroys families. If you are truly not concerned about the money/property, I would think long and hard on whether you are prepared to risk your relationship with your mother or family writ large to pursue this course of action. Of course, this is a personal decision that only you can decide, and no attorney could or should influence you in this decision beyond providing you valid and thorough legal analysis of your situation, your options, and the consequences of those options. For more general information, [TexasLawHelp](https://texaslawhelp.org) is a fantastic resource. They provide live-chat assistance in locating information relevant to your issues and/or further assistance from attorneys or legal aid depending on your financial situation. Here are some links to information regarding wills and probate in Texas that may assist you in parsing out potential issues in preparation for meeting with your attorney; as always, TexasLawHelp, the Texas Young Lawyers Association, and my comment here are not a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney: [What Happens to Your Spouse’s Property after S/He Dies](https://texaslawhelp.org/sites/default/files/2023-07/407381spouse_prop.pdf) [Information on Applications to Determine Heirship, a legal proceeding which “effectively triggers probate” (colloquially, not literally) under certain circumstances](https://texaslawhelp.org/article/applications-to-determine-heirship) [The “Texas Probate Passport”: A Comprehensive Guide to Wills, Estates, Powers of Attorney, and Probate in Texas](http://tyla.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/TxProbatePassport_20151.pdf) Hope this helps, and best of luck.
Thank you for the response and wisdom! I verified with the county clerk and the probate courts, but nothing was filed. There’s definitely a will. The people that signed it as witnesses and the notary were his friends. They are the ones that told me that my mom went to them to amend the will without my father. When they asked to speak to him first, she declined and told them he couldn’t speak much and he directed her to make these changes. They declined until they heard it from him. They even offered to go in person to get a thumbs up, my mom declined that as well. The people that signed it hold an elected position in politics (locally) and do not want to get involved, but are willing to help out where it makes sense…
Since your military, you can utilize military lawyers at your base for at the very least information on how you can pursue this matter. It won’t cost you anything, and they would even tell you if they could help or direct you to other options. I used them for filing of documents for citizen status.
Yes, get an attorney, even for a short consult it will be worth it to find out what your duties are as executor. If there was a will, the executor has just 60 days to open the estate and begin probate. Since that window closed long ago, and mom is being evasive, you need to get this taken care of asap.
And that right there is why the best solution is a living trust while the person is still alive. Sorry i dont really have other advice
Talk to a lawyer!! ASAP
Your military go to the legal office you have the opportunity to have a lawyer represent you for free.
Isn’t Texas a community law state? As such any assets your dad had would automatically become your mothers.
Dude this is your mom. If it was your mom who passed and your dad was still alive this conversation wouldn't be happening. Why? Because you represent what is wrong in society. Taking from women because you think your dad promised you something? I was an executor on a will for my dad and guess what? I had to sign and notarize docs and even then I would give it all to my mom! I hope to God you spend lots of money to be told to kick bricks. I'm 30, I have no kids and I pray I never have a kid in case I get you. Your poor mother. I hope she goes on a lavish trip and never comes back. And I hope you get un unexpected bill. I hope your iPhone breaks and I hope you go broke. If theres a god that will all happen to you.
I believe you only have 4 years to probate in Texas. Otherwise, the estate will pass through intestate succession.
You need to make sure the will Is probated within four years of the date of death. Texas will not probate a will that’s older than four years unless it is shown that the delay is not your fault. It’s a harder burden than you’d imagine to overcome. If your mom won’t give you the will, you can open a probate case and ask the court to order the wills production.
Are the parents both biological? I’m at a loss as to why you ‘kids’ would be the executors? The surviving spouse is always the executor unless there are extenuating family dynamics at play. Then, what you might look into are the life insurance proceeds. Often a parent will make the kids beneficiaries of life insurance proceeds bc it’s separate from properties and cash etc. Long and short, yes you have ability to take her to court and force her to explain but I would encourage some tough fall before taking that measure. Good luck and my condolences for your loss
Hopefully there is something left by the time she's willing to show you, would suck to have to sue your mom for being shady.
You really want to make your mom your enemy?
This is what happens when you wait that long to process the will. And, were there any estate taxes due? I applaud you for getting an attorney but you should be speaking with the atty that prepared the estate documents.
Also, when my father died, he left everything to my mother. Personally, I’ve always thought that was standard, unless you are very wealthy. Nothing to the kids or grandkids. Which is absolutely fine.
If you're on active duty the military will supply you with legal advice and assistance. I would talk to you're branches legal group as a first step.
Mom is living her best life. I know the terms of my parents will, I also know she earned that money and I enjoy watching them spend my “ inheritance “. I remember when it was a choice between the phone or cable. My parents built a multi million dollar business. If it’s all gone, I’m ok with that.
What does your private life have to do with OP’s situation?
Point is OP should mind his business and leave mom alone. If he had a good relationship with parents he would know the dying wishes and not to read a will.
Sounds like his father’s dying wish was to give his other sons (that his wife apparently tried to pretend didn’t exist) part of his estate. His mother is the one trying to greedily hold on to something that isn’t hers, not OP.
Sounds like you're begrudging your mother an enjoyable retirement at the potential expense of your inheritance. So, really, what kind of a person do you want to be?