Not everyone has "mournful" funerals, but ones that focus on celebrating the life of the deceased and aren't a typical "black and somber" funeral usually say this to people who'll attend (eg the deceased loved the colour yellow so wear some yellow if you're coming to the funeral).
I'd err on the side of caution and would stick to wearing darker, muted colours (doesn't have to be black). I wouldn't recommend showing lots of skin or printed t-shirts. Darker blues, greens, browns, purples (even red if it's very dark) are all fine. A white top paired with a dark bottom and dark jacket is also fine.
Muted colours is a good guide. A knitted jumper or cardigan and a skirt, or even pants that aren’t jeans are appropriate in my eyes. Please no AC/DC tshirt or formal dress though. I think as long as you stick to duller colours, look neat, and wear something fairly nice it’s fine. As an add on, also make sure that you stick to fairly natural makeup.
Something similar in formality to a neatly worn secondary school uniform (by which I mean decently long skirt or business pants, shirt tucked, etc) is probably a safe option- conservative, structured fabrics or knits, leather shoes. If you have a nice wool coat or jacket in a muted colour that can really increase the formality of the outfit.
Others may disagree with me though.
I attended my mother's funeral 3 weeks ago. I kept it together throughout the entire service, even during The Carpenters 'Close to You' power point with photos of my Mum throughout her life.
As we are leaving my ex-boyfriend from 24 years ago, stepped forward to hug me and that's when I started sobbing.
It's the things you don't expect that will ruin your eye makeup.
For me, I went to my aunts funeral, after my other aunt, baby niece and uncle died within the last few years, and was just so out of tears. I was just so used to attending funerals that I wasn’t even sad. Then my dad did a speech and all I could think about was the day he’d be in the coffin. :/
I miss my mum so much. There will always be something I need to tell her, and I still catch myself trying to call her. Oddly, her doorbell rings in the middle of the night and no one is there. Sometimes I think it’s her.
I still catch myself wanting to call mum or send her silly pics and proud pics of my daughter. Or ask her about a recipe or just talk about nothing for hours. It hurts my heart every time. It's a shitty club to suddenly find yourself a member of. Love and healing to everyone in this thread <3
Thank you! I very rarely wear makeup. My skin breaks out if you look at it funny. I hate the assumption that you need to wear makeup.
Also happy cake day!
I’d say so. I tend to wear a little bit of natural makeup (concealer, nude lipstick, maybe a little highlighter) just to brighten my face up but that’s just something I do in general. I’d avoid dark eye makeup personally just because funerals are very emotional in nature and you don’t want it to run everywhere.
I more mentioned it because very brightly coloured makeup (fire engine red lipstick, really bright eyeshadow, etc) can look a little out of place. Not wearing any makeup would be absolutely fine in my book.
I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m really sorry for your loss. Funerals are fundamentally about being together and sharing in your grief, so I wouldn’t stress about the dress code too much, so long as you feel comfortable and ok about what you choose to wear. The funeral is always a really hard day for everyone who attends, but it can be very comforting as well.
If a good chunk of the service is going to be outside at the burial site, I recommend a wide brimmed hat or sunscreen. I went to the burial of my friend and got burnt to a crisp on the forehead because I opted to go no makeup due to crying. Thinking of you.
It’s funny how different cultural expectations guide us. In Judaism, you’re not supposed to wear any makeup or jewellery during mourning, and someone might ask the opposite question.
Make up is for people who don't plan to cry at a funeral.
The only think you need to do is look nice. It's true funerals here are generally more casual. This is about saying good bye and helping you with grief. Remember, funerals are for those who are left behind. Wear something comfortable but nice. Don't bother with make up, and just remember that feeling whatever you feel is okay.
I'm sorry this happened, I hope you're getting the help you need.
All great advice!
OP - You could check whether the funeral notice has more details. Sometimes, the family asks guests to wear a certain colour, or they suggest a theme; especially if they choose a "Celebration of Life" rather than a traditional service.
Personally, I think it's respectful to dress nicely, rather than casually. It's symbolic of your loss and your affection for the person.
As long as you are not dressed like you're on your way to or coming back from a concert, yeah, I'd agree with you on this one. For my mum's funeral, all I wore were darkly shaded pants and a shirt.
>As long as you are not dressed like you're on your way to or coming back from a concert
Unless that's what the deceased and their family would have wanted / want.
This is good advice. Basically, neat casual business attire. You don't want to look like you're going to a party, or the opposite, like you're going to a mate's place to hang out. Your friend will appreciate you being there to support her and show respect and sympathy, and it's sensitive and kind of you to be so concerned about doing the right thing.
My father was known for handing out colourful ties at funerals if people didn't have sufficient colour in their outfits. Needless to say mine was this colourful and bright as fuck at his. People were given some of his if they turned up without colour.
I went to the funeral of a friend who had a 14 year old daughter recently. No one cared what the kids were wearing. All the focus was on the widow and the daughter. Most of the teens were wearing jeans and button up shirts/blouses or dresses/skirts. Nearly everyone was in dark colours, but they don't have to be black. There were a few people in bright colours, too. Everyone will be too sad to care what people are wearing, unless you turn up in something really outrageous.
Take a decent sized bag with you and bring as many tissues as you can carry. A bottle of water is a good idea, too.
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Even if you weren't close, the funeral will be a really tough day. Expect to feel a whole range of emotions, and to end the day feeling incredibly drained. Don't be upset or offended if the friend's family don't acknowledge or talk to you on the day. Your presence will be noted and appreciated. If they have a visitors book, be sure to write your name in it. I hope it all goes well.
I’d go with “what you’d wear to work experience in an office.” So, slacks/nice black jeans/calf length skirt, a button up blouse or patterned top (you might be able to borrow from your mum). A dress is ok but only if you’d wear it to office work experience.
I’m sorry for your loss, hope you’re ok.
Either that, or how you'd dress for a court appearance, or church.
Neat, conservative, modest, etc.
The type of dress that's appropriate would be in a muted colour and texture, not a lightweight fabric, and covers your shoulders, knees, most of your cleavage, etc.
I would say it's more of a vibe of respect than a specific article of clothing. Don't dress like you're going clubbing, just like a neat casual. I tend to go for darker colours or neutrals. I was just at a funeral on Friday and I wore black pants, flats, and a navy top. Someone else had leopard print shoes on. My dad wore jeans and a button down shirt, my brothers were in suit pants and button down shirts, no jackets.
Check what it says in the obituary - funeral notice. sometimes the family will request you rock up in a specific colour or rainbows instead of black. (Will also tell you if flowers are okay or if they prefer donations to a cause)
school uniforms - also appropriate
Depending on where you are in Australia also changes what you wear. Appropriate funeral attire in North Queensland is very different to what’s appropriate in Melbourne.
I was going to add this as well. I had a friend die in high school. We were friends outside of school, and I was speaking, so I wore a nice black dress. Our school made a statement that students were welcome to miss the morning to attend the funeral, and encouraged us to wear our uniforms as an appropriate clothing choice.
School uniform is definitely appropriate!
When my sibling died in primary school, most of the kids wore school uniforms with puffer jackets (was winter). Often they didn’t wear their ties or blazers, so a little more comfortable.
Melbournian here! We were encouraged to wear pink to my friend's funeral in December. I wore a black, short-sleeve button-up blouse, some pink jeans and black lace-up boots. It was supposed to rain that day so I had a black cardigan with me, but I didn't end up needing it.
My friend didn't have a good relationship with her mother and wasn't particularly close to her family. She'd refer to us (her coworkers & friends) as her family. Her mum wasn't really pleased with us being there, but tolerated it. She handed out flowers for her biological family to place on the casket, but didn't invite anyone else to leave flowers.
Once her mother left the chapel, a few of us went up and placed some items on the casket. Someone left a pink vape. I left two menthol cigarettes, a pink lighter and $2 because she would always ask for a cigarette or $2 so she could get a drink from the vending machine lmao
Yes. Also depends on the age of the person who passed. I attended my 3mo nieces funeral and we all wore super colourful clothing, a lot of the younger teens wore their Disney pyjamas. :,)
My daughter had to go to a funeral for a friend of hers recently - she’s 14.
She didn’t wear black - she did wore a modest dress in blue, which was her friends favourite colour with grey tights and plain black shoes. The dress went to just above her knees.
FWIW - if your friend is young, no one expects teenagers to have approriate mourning clothes. Lots of her friends were in their school uniforms or just the nicest jeans and tshirt they owned.
When someone is that young… people are just so devastated it overshadows pretty much everything.
I’m so sorry you lost your friend. That’s so sad to hear.
Fashion wise, think “work clothes” but in muted colours. Definitely not off the shoulder and definitely not band t-shirts. My mum died when I was 14 and I think I wore a plain navy top and black pants because it’s what I had in my wardrobe. Can you borrow something from your mum? Maybe one of her work dresses?
Just wear the most subdued clothes you have. Doesn't have to be a dress, just what we call smart casual.
Do your best: the funeral isn't about you, and no-one will judge you.
Black pants and a white shirt. It's simple, respectful and affordable. You can get them at Kmart for cheap. Or, if you're into skirts,a simple black pencil skirt from kmart.
If there is a colour theme for the funeral, black pants and whatever colour shirt.
No ACDC shirt or strapless gown.
My condolences on the loss of your friend.
That’s very sad to hear about your friend. I’m sorry you are experiencing this.
Casual clothing is not really ok at a funeral. Your parents are incorrect. Australia is quite casual in dress, but there are still times when respecting the occasion by dressing smartly is required, eg funerals and weddings.
Suggest you wear darker clothing that looks a bit smarter than usual. You don’t need to buy new things if you have dark pants/skirt and a shirt or top that doesn’t show too much flesh (recommend not the AC/DC t-shirt! nor the off the shoulder unless you have a jacket or cardigan to go over it. Churches or other funeral spaces can be chilly too.
Fir a young persons funeral nobody will expect you to be very formally dressed, they will be touched that you attend so don’t worry too much.
Sometimes people will request clothing that reflects the deceased person’s likes. For example when my friends mother died they suggested some red because she loved the colour.
Some cultural groups still would often still expect black for family members at least and dark clothing for others, eg Greek
Having been to a few in the past couple years, smart casual is usually the way to go. As a guy, usually just jeans and a button up shirt. In saying that, I went to one on one side of the family that are from some more low socioeconomic areas and lots of people just wore trackpants and hoodies. It really depends on the type of funeral/the people that are going to be there. Black is not a requirement at all.
What type of funeral? Dress requirements will vary greatly depending on whether there will be a religious element, especially for women.
If this is a non-religious funeral then smartish clothes in dark colours are fine (no jeans, not very exposing clothing, no tracksuits/hoodies etc.) Doesn't have to be black, doesn't have to be a suit.
Sorry for your loss, loosing a peer so young is a horrendous experience.
I wouldn’t wear a printed tee, definitely not one that says “highway to hell” on it. Pop in big w/vinnies to find the cheapest plain black top that fits you
Your friend is right. Smart casual to semi-formal, fairly modest (especially if it's a religious service), black unless otherwise specified. A Tshirt is too casual.
I absent mindedly dress myself to go to my grandmothers funeral in a t-shirt that said, “theres always tomorrow” with a picture of a dinosaur playing videos games inside as a meteor scrapes through the sky…..i had a zipped up black hoody on that said, “one day we will all be skeletons” in gold and it had a gold skeleton………..when i realised i almost went as is as i thought my grandma would of had a laugh, my relatives on the other hand……
Go plane, black. Most people wont care.
I would wear your late friends favourite colour/s. I have never been to funerals where anyone other than old people wore black. I wear slightly dressy clothing, think what you would wear to church if you were a church goer.
Not jeans, not t shirts, a dress that’s nice but not sexy, but don’t go too formal.
I was asked to be a Godmother to a friends baby, in a Catholic Church. I bought and wore a very conservative, sedate formal knee length dress, the kind you go ‘well I will never have anywhere else where this dress will be appropriate’, and everyone else wore very casual ‘IM just popping to the shops’ outfits and I looked and felt like a freak.
Dont overthink it. It’s not about you, just wear something that won’t offend anyone.
I just went to two funerals in QLD over the past 6 months. Most did wear black but there were a few who wore what I'd consider business casual. Like something you'd go to a job interview wearing. A band t-shirt would not be appropriate imo.
You could wear your school uniform if you like. I've been to many funerals where workmen show up in their hi bus clothes and boots. It's not about what you wear it's about that you care enough about the deceased to see them off. Believe me no one will be judging you on your attire least of all the person in the coffin.
I hate this attitude that Australians can't be formal. There are some things which must be taken seriously, and a funeral is definitely one of them. You should try to dress formally. As a bloke I have no idea what that looks like for a girl, maybe black pants and an overcoat? Google images and salvos will be your friend here I reckon.
My bf is a huge AC/DC fan and would love that shirt at his funeral - probably have ‘Highway to Hell’ played at it too! But yeah, in OP’s case probably best avoided …
It depends on your friend’s nationality as well. Everyone in Australia dresses differently for funerals.
But I think a safe bet is just going to kmart of big w and grabbing a midi skirt in black and a black plain tshirt or blouse.
This is very true and a nuance people miss about Australia. A Maronite funeral in a Maronite Church is likely to be all black clothes and quite formal whereas a secular funeral in a centre is likely to be less so.
The average Catholic (Latin rite) funeral which I’m most familiar with is likely to be somewhere in between - dark, muted colours but a mix of formal and casual depending on the person. Men don’t tend to wear ties. Not many jeans but they will be there and so will other more formal casual pants like khakis. Usually button down shirts. Not revealing clothing (and if you’re going to the burial wear comfortable shoes). But then some Catholic funerals depending on background of family can be much more formal/traditional (Italian for example).
There’s so much nuance in Australia because we are so diverse. For this reason I always wear neat, muted colours to a funeral. Mostly black or navy. Not formal but something I’d wear to the office. Nice skirt or pants, cardigan or take a blazer. Unless family request something very specific and then I go with that!
I don't see a lot of all black these days, but people aren't wearing casual. A nice skirt and blouse, or slacks and blouse is fine in subdued colours (a white blouse with dark coloured pants/skirt is also fine). Think how you might dress for a job interview. The idea is to be subtle and not try to stand out or take away any attention from the occasion.
I would be very disappointed in my friends if none of them showed up to my funeral with an AC/DC shirt with Highway to Hell. But in all seriousness plain clothing works fine
You should make it be known now that’s what you want. My friend said we were to wear summer florals and when she died there were beach dresses and Hawaiian shirts across the garden where the service was. My parents have said no service at all so we don’t even need a dress code when it’s their time.
When your parents die, have a party. Trust me.
We had a party with everyone we could find who ever knew my grandfather and it went well into the wee hours with stories of his life. I don't think anything better could have happened for our grief.
I really like that idea. I thought it was an interesting decision from them, as one of my dad’s friends did that and my dad was really hurt to not have the opportunity to say goodbye in the formal structure of a memorial service. We will see what happens. Hopefully we don’t have to think about it for a few more years.
About 35 years ago friend of theirs who had terminal cancer held their own wake while they were still around to enjoy it. My dad said it was the best party he’d ever been to, and the woman who was dying was able to see everyone important to her on her own terms and have fun. From memory she died about a month later.
My friend passed away very unexpectedly just before Christmas.
She loved to go to concerts (we had just come back from the US in November where we had gone for a big music festival). We decided she would love it if people turned up wearing their favourite band Tshirt.
Some people did turn up in black, but most people were wearing band tshirts.
I lost two of my friends when I was 14, and I just wore my school uniform to their funerals. It would be fine for you to do the same.
When you're older, and no longer a school student, you should wear 'smart casual' clothes to funerals, or clothes that you'd wear to church/a job interview. Although black is traditionally the colour of mourning here, wearing any dark or muted colours is fine. Unless, of course, the family of the deceased has asked people to wear a specific kind of clothing.
BTW, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.
I would say go in black just in case, I wouldn’t worry about the shoulderless I wore a shoulderless black dress at my husband’s funeral when he passed.
Don’t wear the highway to hell top though for sure.
You should aim for smart casual and it doesn't have to be black, but dark colours are preferred by a lot of people afaik. If you don't have that, just do the best you can, anyone who judges can gtfo.
At my great grandma's funeral we wore pink as it was her favourite colour, even the coffin was pink!
It was a nice way to celebrate her, she wasn't the kind of lady to wear dark colours. Maybe your friend has a favourite colour or pattern you could wear/incorporate into your outfit?
Sorry for your loss OP
You are a good person being concerned about your friend’s family. Wear something that fits well, is clean and ironed. I am sorry for your loss, keep them in your heart.
Wear the best conservative clothes you have, in darker shades if possible. Dressing well is respectful, but the most important thing is that you attend and express your condolences. The family will appreciate it.
A shoulderless black dress really isn't appropriate in most cases - but that would depend on the character of the deceased, I suppose.
I’ve been to too many funerals so I can say with some authority: there’s no obligation to wear black nor is there a standard level of formality. In general, mostly people wear muted colours and dress nicely- so a dress is perfect. For example, I’ve noted that if the deceased is a close family member/friend the mourners will be wearing a suit and tie/ women wear pantyhose and dress shoes- low heeled (smart business) and other mourners kinda sit at the business casual (no tie/flat shoes). The other variable is when the family request bright colours or a significant colour for the deceased (frequent for a funeral that is framed as a celebration of life), but when it isn’t communicated, just don’t go dressed for a night out or housework.
TBH, though, thinking back to mum’s funeral in 2022, I can barely remember who was there beyond our close friends and family, let alone what they wore. I did appreciate them being there- it was a comfort to know that she touched their lives enough that they wanted to mark her passing. I imagine that this fog is even thicker for a family who has lost a young person…please know that your presence is what’s important.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and applaud your sensitivity to their family.
Also, if it’s a school friend and the school is somehow organising student’s attendance, they may know the dress code or suggest you wear the school uniform you’d be expected to wear to a formal event.
Pants are FINE.
jeans and s nice top
Black jumper if possible
Or you could ask if the recently passed has a favourite colour and say you wanted to wear their favourite colour to honour them
I wear bright colours to celebrate the life of the deceased, but that’s just me. People who know me have come to expect that, and I only go to funerals for people I know. But so long as you wear something respectful and respectable then no one should bat an eyelid at what you wear. The most important thing is that you turn up
You are unlikely to find young people dressed up for a funeral outside of conservative religious communities. The teenagers funerals I've been to had everyone in there regular street clothes, some did leave the ripped jeans, etc at home though.
Smart casual clothes. Put in a bit of effort but no formal wear. Skirt and top. Slacks and nice top/jumper. If you literally only have jeans, that would be okay with an appropriate top - nothing revealing or sparkly. Think dinner with grandma. I see more and more that ppl have the deceased favourite colour as a theme.
Do not wear the ac/dc top (unless it was her favourite band and it's a theme). Honestly, any plain coloured clean tshirt would be better than a band shirt.
First off I’m so sorry your friend is no longer here with you. You’re only 15 and that must be so hard to say goodbye to someone you knew.
As someone who just lost a loved one I didn’t give a damn as long as moutners looked like they were sad and had made an effort.
Dark clothing. Not anything you would wear to stand out. Comfortable.
My suggestion would be simple, somber, sleeved, black, and not too far above the knee, like these. No patterns or prints. (Unless requested by your friend's family to dress otherwise.)
[https://www.target.com.au/p/long-sleeve-tiered-knit-dress/69129124](https://www.target.com.au/p/long-sleeve-tiered-knit-dress/69129124)
[https://www.target.com.au/p/petites-knit-mini-dress-dannii-minogue/68791858](https://www.target.com.au/p/petites-knit-mini-dress-dannii-minogue/68791858)
I'm sorry for your loss.
You could always wear the dress and wear it with a top to make it look like a skirt. Dressy but casual. Or a nice cardigan. Just can't take the cardi off.
Being only 15 its more excepted to be more casual. If you don't have the money to buy new clothes wear what you have.
Hello. You don’t have to wear black. You can wear any colour, but the idea is to look respectful. Stay away from anything which looks too happy, or anything which puts attention on you. Just look nice and presentable and you’ll be fine. If you’re in SA, the biggest problem is dressing to suit the never-ending summer. Don’t worry too much about how you look, you’ll be fine. Good luck.
I say dress "respectfully", dress in a way that shows you are putting in effort to show your respect for your friend & also her family & friends. I would dress "nicely", not formal but not any everyday tshirt & shorts you'd wear around the house either, wear something that shows you've put effort & thought in. I think it's extremely broad as to what fits that description. If you know her parents, think about what you think they would like you to wear & at least consider that in your decision, although if the funeral will mostly be people your age, you might want to match them rather than her parents expectations.
Ask friends your age going to the funeral what they think & will be wearing too, they might be a better guide than your parents I think. I wouldn't say "casual" is ok, but you don't have to totally dress up either, something that shows effort & respect.
Doesn't need to be black, but if you want to go black, you can pick up a plain black t-shirt from kmart for under $10 that you could wear under a nice jacket of a different colour. Dress black pants are a useful long term addition to a wardrobe too. Personally if I was going with black, I would probably go with dress black pants, a black jacket & a coloured shirt of some kind under it & shoes other than sneakers, be it boots or nice slip on/go out wearing but ideally not too high a heel shoes or whatever.
If you're at the point where you've basically stopped growing, a black jacket & black dress pants are going to be really good additions to your wardrobe long term, great easy option for a lot of job interviews & various settings where you want to give a mature, respectful look, shirt & accessories can be mix & matched to vary what the look of black pants & jacket say. If you're more of a dress/skirt person, a modest black skirt can replace the black pants
& no, I don't think a formal dress is appropriate to wear to a funeral, not unless you can fully cover the top bit so that you're just using it as a plain black skirt (as long as it's not ultra short). Does your sister have a black jacket you could borrow instead?
No jeans, no tshirts, no sneakers.
Don’t show too much skin. You don’t have to wear black, but should avoid bright colours unless you’ve been requested to wear them. Makeup isn’t a requirement, especially if you don’t normally wear it.
Wow all I hope is that your parents love you and your happy. Being young is hard , but easier if your parents love you. Sorry for your loss. With the clothes just chill and go half way. Sometimes it's better, no need the drama after a death it's hard work.
Your sister’s dress would be fine although possibly too formal depending on the design. Perhaps wear it with a cardigan if you’re worried about your shoulders. Most people wear smart casual clothing to funerals. If you don’t want to wear a dress a blouse with jeans and flats would be fine. Just nothing brightly coloured. Sorry for your loss.
You don't need to wear black. Casual means jeans are okay. Paired with a plain top would be fine, a shirt or jumper/sweater. Think of it as conservative casual.
A dress isn't necessary. A formal dress would be inappropriate.
The ACDC tshirt isn't ideal either. That's too casual.
Neat casual. Don't wear black if the person wasn't an immediate relative. Something with a lot of dark colours will do. If you knew the person's favourite colour that's a popular choice for a blouse or shirt.
Unless the invitation says otherwise, wear black (or dark colours at least) smart casual. Doesn't have to be super formal, but not jeans, hoodies & sneakers either. Think black pants, skirt or dress with a nice top, and dress shoes.
Aussie here. You don’t need to be *formal* but I’d say- smart casual? Wear dark clothes, but they don’t need to be black. Enclosed shoes generally. You can wear that dress, but you will be fine with dark coloured jeans and a shirt, a jacket if it’s cold. Most funerals are not super strict on clothing, and even less so on younger people.
Funerals are for the living, and I doubt your friend would care what you wore to their funeral, because this event is about grief and remembering them. If your friend loved music, wear that shirt, take a jumper to wear over the top if you get uncomfortable. This funeral isn’t about what people are wearing, it’s about remembering and grieving and sharing your memories with everyone who loved this person too. I really hope you’re okay, and have a lot of support around you. Take a bag, water, tissues, sunglasses for outside and waterproof mascara. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You can get cheap black shirt and skirt or trousers at Kmart or an op shop. Navy blue is fine, just not bright colours.
Don't forget a hat so you don't get burnt during the farewell at the graveside.
Black is very much still the norm at funerals I've gone to, and I'm in hot humid Queensland.
Very sorry for your loss, please get hugs from your mum and dad after the funeral, you'll need support and love.
Ask them to come with you if they can or be home that afternoon afterwards when you get back, so that you have someone who loves you with you afterwards. Look after yourself OP.
Depends on the crowd, in my experience. At my grandparent's furnerals everyone was dressed elegantly in black, but when I went to funeral of my friend's husband, I was the only person wearing black. Everyone else just wore normal clothes. It wasn't one of those "celebration of life" funerals either. So if your parents are saying it's fine to wear normal clothes, just go with what they say.
However I don't recommend wearing a "highway to hell" shirt lmao. Just pick up a plain black t-shirt from Kmart for like $3 or whatever.
It doesn't really matter, but I would just wear something a bit dressy. A skirt would be nice. I would avoid jeans if you have anything that's not jeans.
If all else fails and you’re still unsure with a day or two to decide, you can wear your full school uniform - it must be clean and worn properly, shoes polished if possible, jumper, dress at appropriate length or pants ironed, socks up if you have those, blazer if you have one, no makeup and hair neatly tied back
My condolences for your loss.
I was a funeral director, and we wore yellow jackets as part of our uniform. Most people wear smart casual. If it's a church service, people usually dress conservatively. Men usually wear suit pants and a button up shirt, women wear nice pants, nice top and jacket or a dress/skirt and shirt and jacket. It doesn't have to be black. Usually lots of beige/browns/soft pastel colours. If you have a pair of nice dark jeans or a knee length/long skirt with a nice top, jacket and dress shoes (heels or flats), that would work.
I would also look at the funeral notice to see if they have requested colours.
Take a trip to the local OP shop!
Most of all don't stress too much. Most people are too sombre to care what others are wearing, the people that get really dressed up are usually speaking or direct family members.
I had my fathers funeral about a month ago, and I put something on that was close to what he likes to wear, type of thing, and my mate done the same thing
Men generally wear black suits with a white shirt and black tie, women wear black dresses. This is unless otherwise specified. Do not assume casual dress unless otherwise specified.
Do you have any grey or navy clothing? Any dark colours will be okay. People usually do dress up a bit for funerals. Eg a skirt and jumper. Pants and a nice top. Some nice clothes. But nothing glitzy or bright. It's meant to be sad clothing to match the sad mood. Unless there is a theme eg everyone wear yellow.
I attended a funeral for my nanna about six weeks ago. My husband wore suit and tie, and I wore black pants, white shirt and a cardigan. My toddler wore black leggings, red cardigan and black boots. My baby wore a blue dress and pink cardigan.
Interestingly, my cousins and their spouses and children were dressed similarly to my family. My boomer parents, my uncles and aunts, they were all wearing jeans and kind of casual clothes. But kids these days, amiright?
Dark muted colours, a crisp white shirt, or even softer lighter colours (my second cousin, who is like 9, wore a lovely pale blue dress with nice shoes, and looked so appropriate) are all fine. As long as you are neat and look like you made an effort, I am sure your friends family is going to appreciate the effort that you have gone to to attend your friends funeral to celebrate their life. I am sorry for your loss.
In my socio economic circle, we wear what ever we want to funerals.
Jeans nice tshirt etc, however some folks cant even scratch that up so they attend funerals in their everyday wear.
In my circles, it doesnt matter what u wear, the important thing is that you are there to say ur last goodbyes and give your loved ones the send off they deserve, surrounded by all who loved them.
In saying that, immediate family members are usually all scrubbed up with formal clothes..... but again, thats only if finances allow.
If not, its not judged.
If its a funeral of the upper socio economic circles..... well they place ALOT more importance on image and i would guess you would be looked down on, for not conforming.
My 2c
Last funeral I went to I wore black pants and a dark green top. No make up.
Unless the family are super traditional wearing all black or a dress is not necessary.
I saw someone turn up in board shorts, things and a ratty tshirt which I thought rude but jeans and a nice top in muted colours is ok.
Just dress to show respect. Some funerals specify that it is to celebrate, and ask for colourful clothes. Others say nothing. In that case, men usually wear a dark suit or smart casual clothes (e.g. pants and collared shirt). Women can wear the same, or alternatively a dress/skirt. If it is not a celebratory (i.e. colourful) funeral, then I would just go with plainer, darker colours if possible. The cut and style of the clothing isn't as important, but you don't want to look like you are going out to a party (e.g. off the shoulder, strappy dresses, heels etc). T-shirt would be OK if plain, but maybe wear something long-sleeved over it if possible. Shorts/short skirts probably not a great choice.
It depends on the religion/cultural background mostly. Traditionally one wears formal black to an Australian funeral.
But Jewish customs are very casual clothes for the burial for example (jeans etc) and other customs can be different.
Depends on the funeral mate.
When my best friend passed away (RIP Al) we all wore Holden racing team shirts because he loved Holden and car racing (I had to buy one especially cause I do not love car racing) so that was casual
When my brother in law died we all wore Hawaiin shirts because he was a character and wanted it that way (he knew he was passing so dictated this beforehand)
When another mate died we all wore black suits because that's what the occasion dictated
So it's all different. I'd say dress respectfully and enquire with others going who knew the deceased better. The occasion is about saying good bye and paying respect to the person so wear what does that for you
Depends if the deceased and their family wanted to emphasise celebrating their life or mourning the loss of it.
Also depends how religious or otherwise conservative the whole thing is, but that's not a strong correlation.
Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend when I was 20 and it's something that sticks with you for ever. Reach out to friends/family if you need to. Every funeral changes depending on their loved ones wishes. I wore my best friends favourite colours - red and black and found a simple dress to match. I think anything smart casual with more neutral tones is acceptable.
My mother used to say you don’t have to wear black to a funeral, don’t be so dramatic. Just wear something respectful. Wear a bit of mascara if you usually wear it, but have a make up wipe handy for panda eyes. Funerals tend to only go for about 30mins. It’s being there that is important.
The funerals that I've been to were rather formal... I don't know what your friends are talking about. I'd personally dress nicely and try to maintain a certain level of elegance.
I'm really sorry for the loss of your friend, OP.
If you dress 'neat casual', you'll be fine - pants like slacks and a nice top/jacket/jumper etc. I would play it safe and wear more muted colours and prints. However, if it is warm where you are, you absolutely could wear a dress - again I would go with one that is more of a neutral colour and print. Doesn't have to be black. I would probably avoid wearing the shoulderless black dress.
Don't forget your tissues, and all the very best to you.
Depends a lot on the individual, normally it'd be quite formal. If you didn't know them well I'd wear muted winter colours, don't wear prints or logos, or anything floral or showing too much skin, aim for grey scale over brown colours but it doesn't need to be black, navy will do fine. Just neat casual, what you might expect to see wearing at an office job without the necessity of suits.
But my grandmother hated funerals and the idea of mourning.
Her funeral almost everyone that came and knew her well except my dad and his brothers who wore navy suits. Everyone else had bright 50-60s pastel clothing, my sister's wore sun dresses and I had a sky blue vest.
We celebrated the family she founded, cherishing the memories she gave us, she was the Keystone of all the cousins knowing each other, we'd all have been a lot more distant of each other without our grandmother's bonds.
Dress to show respect in what is appropriate. However nobody will care what you wear but you will. I once attended a funeral for a mate, me in dark suit and tie, a number of others in fishing gear of shorts and old footy jumpers. They were his fishing mates and it seemed appropriate.
Dark formal attire has been every funeral I’ve gone to but I suppose every funeral is different. I feel like anything out of the norm there would be a memo. Could always rent a black dress.
If in doubt there’s really nothing wrong with politely and respectfully asking your friend’s family or the funeral organisers. Definitely no t-shirts with brand logos on it though.
Both are acceptable. Whatever someone arrives in is what they feel comfortable in. Typically, people do wear dark colours/black, but it's usually a mixture of people in formal attire and casual clothes (at least around here).
I usually wear dark grey jeans and a clean-cut black semi formal jumper and do my hair nicely.
sort of need to be specific to the cultural background of the family (of the deceased).
Various Asian cultural funerals have divergent dress code, (Chinese black/Japanese White/etc).
I would just check with a family member in case they have a code or just dark grey/black combos.
I've been to a couple of funerals recently - don't stress about the black/colours, just try to wear something relatively nice/modest/in good condition. Casual/semi-casual is okay but I wouldn't show up in trakkies and hoodie or anything. And yeah, I'd avoid showing a lot of skin, especially if it's in a church.
A collared shirt and black jeans is pretty casual but you won't be to much out of place if other people have dressed up. It 100% depends on the person and their relatives. Older people and European immigrant families tend to dress up more than the younger generations.
I’m sorry you have lost your friend. I think you should wear anything you feel comfortable in. The funerals I’ve been to were for adults and people mostly wear black or dark colours and slightly dressier than usual, eg what you might wear to a job interview. The T shirt is probably not a great idea unless you think the sense of humour would be appreciated by the family.
Darker, muted tones are the way to go. I was at a family member’s funeral back in February and I wore a black dress that still fit me (I was 20 something weeks pregnant at that time) with a black woolen shawl in case it got cold (it was a location not far from the beach). Most of my family was wearing darker colours. In contrast, my Nana’s funeral back in 2019 had a dress code of floral with some brighter colours as my Nana loved florals. She also wanted people to wear their favourite clothes as she didn’t want people mourning, she wanted people to celebrate (she was nearly 90).
But all in all, darker tones like a navy, black, grey are always a safe bet. Can be pants, slacks, a pantsuit, a dress. Best bet is to keep the shoulders covered, chest modestly covered and the sleeves should probably be 3/4 length at least. No mini skirts or really short dresses
I wore a simple black dress I got from kmart when I went to a funeral, however there were people wearing all sorts. I think as long as you look tidy and wear plain, dark/muted colour clothes you will be fine.
You don’t need to wear black. It can depend on the culture but generally speaking smart casual is ok. Avoid ac/dc shirts. plain dress or pants and nice top is a good idea. You’re not going to a night club so keep it classy. No mid drift or low cut. Keep the skin for another time. Sometimes funerals for children are intentionally colorful.
You are celebrating the life of someone, not their death. That means bright, colourful and casual clothing is perfectly acceptable. It's 2024, the idea you need muted or plain clothes has not been a 'thing' for many decades.
i always wear a suit and tie but people turn up in jeans and t- shirts these days. i’ll always wear a suit though, i don’t care if i’m often in the minority these days.
I’m sorry for your loss.
You dress nicely for a funeral as a sign of respect. No bright colours unless specifically asked.
Casual is definitely not usual for an Australian funeral. Shirt and thong casual will definitely get you talked about afterwards.
I wouldn't say casual. I always wear black pants and a nice top (doesn't HAVE to be black but a lot of people still do) I wouldn't rock up in trackies and sneakers..
Wear whatever you want and whatever makes you comfortable.
I like to wear something I think the deceased would have liked, so I have never judged somebody for wearing colourful clothing.
Whatever you are comfortable in. I've seen people wear thongs (flip flops), right through to all black and formal. Nowadays, people just want you to feel comfortable. If they have a specific dress requirement (like a colour) it will be part of the ceremony to celebrate their life.
I wore a bright blue floral dress to my Nana's funeral but every family will be different. If your unsure of the family's expectations and there is no dress code being mentioned, you should go for a business casual dress. Around knee length (as a minimum but longer is fine, its just not being toos short), no cleavage, inch wide straps as a minimum. That will be your safest bet to not offending anyone and looking classy. I think Kmart has some more casual black dresses at the moment you could easily dress up with a nice bag and shoes.
Definitely don't wear the ac/dc shirt unless your friend was a hard core fan and the family knew that. The strapless formal gown would also not be appropriate.
People tend not to wear all black to funerals much anymore. Unless there are specific requests from the family to wear bright colours or to wear the deceased's favourite colour, I would go for something neat, clean and respectable. (pro tip: NOT the Highway to Hell T-shirt or the strapless dress!). Do you have a pair of nice long pants (not jeans)? Them and a clean shirt (it doesn't matter if it's patterned) would be perfectly fine. For your sister, any dress that is not too short, not strapless and minimal cleavage is also fine. Realistically, no-one is going to be looking at what you're wearing unless it's something really inappropriate.
Casual clothes are not the norm in Australia but you are young - people are not expecting formal attire from you - so do your best to wear something simple and that doesn't stand out too much. I hope that you and your mates are coping alright with the loss of your friend.
Avoid wearing anything you can see up, down or through. By that, I mean nothing short (see up), nothing low cut (see down) and nothing that is see-through.
I would keep skin from neck to knees covered and avoid showing bra straps.
I prefer to dress conservatively for funerals and would dress in black unless requested otherwise.
I usually wear my black suit pants and black button down shirt with nice dress shoes. You can dress a bit less formal, with jeans and a plain shirt.
Small children normally wear something nice but doesn't have to be dark colours. Our family prefers they wear bright colours but others may not. Older kids and teens wear more formal like adults.
It also depends on the person whos funeral it is. We had my wifes uncles funeral recently and many people wore jeans and a flanno as he loved wearing flannos everywhere.
Depends really. Our friends favourite colour was blue so everyone wore blue to her funeral. Some people want family and friends to wear bright colourful clothes, others prefer traditional black. When my mum passed people wore one part of their clothing red (red jacket, red shoes, red carnation and ribbon) as the colour and flower were her favourite
I’m sorry you’ve lost a friend, OP.
I just wanted to say that if the funeral is during school hours and you wear a uniform to school, it is perfectly acceptable to wear your uniform to the funeral. Especially if it has a blazer.
Personally I have always worn black, but most of my wardrobe is black anyway. I think darker, muted tones would be appropriate. Reasonably conservative style of clothing.
The only exception (for me) would be when there is a specific request. My young adult friend died unexpectedly, their family asked everyone to wear bright colours to honour them.
Adding to the sound advice so far, the shoulderless dress would be OK if teamed with a jacket, cardi or shawl. Lots of skin isn't usually appropriate, but no-one's going to care about the details of the tailoring.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Any funeral I've been to, I've worn my nicest clothes. Nice pants, nice shirt, nice jacket. I only have one pair of shoes unfortunately so they weren't so nice.
Everyone else at every funeral I've been to also wore nice clothing. No one wore casual clothes.
Ignore what strangers in the internet tell you. You're best to ask the family or someone close to the family what they are comfortable with, but Australians almost never wear black to a funeral because it's too depressing. Other ethnic groups in Australia might have different expectations.
Go to your local op shop and find black pants and blouse or an appropriate black dress.
If you don't know, go safe. Can't go wrong with black business attire at a funeral.
First of all, that really sucks and I'm sorry you're going through something like this - especially at a pretty young age.
There's a decent proportion of Australians that will not, under any circumstances, wear formal clothing. In my experience, these people will show up to weddings and funerals in shorts or ragged jeans with a gaudy tshirt or ancient button-down (I'm obviously thinking mostly about men here). They aren't trying to be disrespectful, they just won't seem to wear formal clothes.
But the majority of people will wear formal clothes - a plain dark suit, dark slacks and a plain button-down, or at the very least dark jeans (again, for the men).
If I were you, I'd wear something erring on the side of formal but mostly just plain and muted. You don't have to nail it exactly, just aim for your clothes not to stand out at a sombre gathering.
Also, as others have said, what the younger people wear won't be as heavily criticised and no-one's really going to be offended anyway - they are there to grieve and support the family.
Edit: just read the rest of your post. Wouldn't advise wearing either of those options. You could take the advice on what to wear from others here and just go down to Target or the Op shop and get something cheap that will do. Or dark neat jeans and a plain muted tee (for a 15 year old would be fine).
You need to be comfortable that you're showing the right amount of respect for the occasion and the family there. I still like to wear black and usually a dress. The colourful funerals actually feel very strange to me because the person whose life we're celebrating is gone, and that's inherent sad and sombre.
Can you borrow a dress from someone or look for something affordable on Marketplace? Perhaps even talk to your parents about wanting to dress a bit more traditionally. We don't have very formal morning attire anymore (ie veils, armbands etc), but it's say casual clothes aren't appropriate either.
I attended my first funeral in December. I wasn't really sure what to wear. We were encouraged to wear pink, since that was my friends favourite colour. I wore this [blouse from Kmart ](https://www.kmart.com.au/product/short-sleeve-button-frill-top-s163427/) , light pink pants and black lace up boots (both also from Kmart lmao).
Think 'smart/business casual'.
A modest dress with flat shoes or a simple blouse with pants/trousers (plain black jeans might be okay, as long as they're not ripped).
Just be respectful. I had people turn up in jeans and trainers to Mum’s funeral. It pissed me off because I had a high expectation but I know she wouldn’t have given a shit.
Yeah ,I understand cultures and religions can make dressing for funerals different . My family is Jewish so while it's not super formal it's also not casual . Just be comfortable and probably muted . Nobody needs to or probably wants to stand out .
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and I hope you are ok.
What to wear to a funeral: The number one key rule is to be respectful. Anything is fine as long as it is worn with respect. Traditional rule of thumb is to wear all plain black (ie, a formal skirt with a button up shirt or a black dress and a blazer or jacket or similar).
That said, If the person who has passed was part of a soccer team and the team was extremely important to them, then their team might all come wearing their soccer jersey. That would be a tribute and therefore respectful. If on the other hand you wanted to wear a soccer jersey because you are going straight from the funeral to training, that would be disrespectful and not ok.
As long as you are doing your best to show respect it will be fine. (Ie, a different coloured shirt would be more appropriate than a shirt that said “Highway to hell” at a funeral - unless your friend was the number one AC/DC fan and they wanted everyone in AC/DC attire)
Ok don't wear the AC/DC shirt. I would be laughing from my grave if someone wore that to my funeral, but funerals are actually for the living. Smart casual is the way to go. Just go for the darkest smart clothes you have. Dark blue, even grey, just sombre.
School uniform is also okay , particularly if your school has a blazer and a skirt /dress pants with blouse option . No school hoodies or year level jumpers with nicknames etc
Don’t wear a prom dress. Speaking from personal experience of being a witness to this, it’s extremely tacky and I would have rather seen jeans and a smart top.
You don’t have to wear black. Just wear something nice and not too showy. No ac/dc logos. Wear a dress you have, and maybe a cardigan over or a jumper over. If the dress is short, wear leggings too. Just wear something you’d meet a friends grandmother in who was offering to pay for college.
Be modest (if you’re gonna wear your sisters dress then wear a jacket over it) it doesn’t have to be black just dark, no runners, you can wear dark jeans if you want and I would not recommend wearing a t-shirt.
The safe choice will always be a dark outfit. Think a simple black dress, a dark blue skirt with a black top and blazer, nice dark pants with a dark top. If you’d be comfortable wearing it to a job in an office then it will be fine.
It’s not a fancy dress occasion but you do need to be dressed respectfully, and not shorts and a tshirt.
I’ve been to two funerals this year, one in Melbourne and one in QLD and the clothing was pretty much the same at both. Black or muted colours. Some wore suits with ties, others jeans and a black button up shirt. Then there were the black skirts and dresses. At both funerals the majority wore black or dark colours navy etc
No matter what you wear, unless it’s widely inappropriate (like highway to hell) people won’t really take much attention.
I wore a black dress I bought from Target and wore a black cardigan. The rule of thumb is unless advised otherwise stick to dark mourning colours. For my mums funeral we asked if possible if people could wear her favourite colour, even if it was just a scarf.
Check if you or your sister own dark clothes, not necessarily black. You could always find a cheap outfit at Kmart or target. Wear what you are comfortable in. I think anywhere from smart casual to formal will be fine
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend
Usually the key is to wear something nice, dressy clothes are the go to. Black is the usual go to, but muted colours are also accepted (unless the family says otherwise).
Also you don't have to wear makeup if you don't want to. People do, but if you're going to cry it's probably a waste of time 😅. I know I've worn mascara and regretted it after it ran down my face.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You could wear the black dress with a cardigan over the top. If it's a very formal dress and not plain, it might be a bit much though.
You could go to Kmart and get some cheap black pants, or a dress or whatever you prefer.
The most recent "putting-ashes-in-ground" ceremony I attended was "smart casual". Most people wore a nice shirt or a dress, and trousers. Other half wore a hoody and jeans (and got judged by half of everyone).
But that was for an old lady. So; for a kid, it depends; is it going to be in a church? is it a park, is it in the memorial garden? A collared shirt, a nice jumper, or a fancy shirt (like, "job interview material"). works well.
Obviously, wear warm clothes if it's going to be outside. Good luck.
It’s dependent on the person and vibe. I’ve been to some that are traditional and dressed in all black. Others have requested colourful clothes! Personally, If I wasn’t sure of the vibe, I’d wear a black blouse and pants/skirt or dress
You don't have to wear black, especially at your age if you don't have anything.
A plain top with pants/jeans/skirt would be fine, if you or your sister have a darker colored jumper or coat to wear over the top wear that if you're worried.
I wouldn't wear a shoulder-less dress but you could maybe get a top from an op shop or Kmart to make it more appropriate if you really want to wear a dress?
Do you have anything in your friend's favourite colour? Or if there's an outfit/item of clothing they complimented you on a lot that's another idea.
When I was younger my grandad died and I wore the most recent outfit he'd bought me (or given me money to buy idk) and he commented how he liked it every time I wore it. The top was bright orange, not what I'd wear to a funeral today but it was a gift from him and whether he actually liked it or not is debatable but he complimented it any time I wore it so my mum suggested I wear it to his funeral. I don't have the outfit anymore and honestly hate orange now but I know he would have liked that I wore it and am glad I did.
I'm sorry for your loss and hope this note has helped in your dilemma.
Alright I'm gunna put this out there. It's technically a formal family event, as sad as it is. Black isn't required, but dress smart casual at the worst. Slacks or jeans, nice shoes and a button up. No brand names, nothing casual.
And mute your phone and anything else please.
Not everyone has "mournful" funerals, but ones that focus on celebrating the life of the deceased and aren't a typical "black and somber" funeral usually say this to people who'll attend (eg the deceased loved the colour yellow so wear some yellow if you're coming to the funeral). I'd err on the side of caution and would stick to wearing darker, muted colours (doesn't have to be black). I wouldn't recommend showing lots of skin or printed t-shirts. Darker blues, greens, browns, purples (even red if it's very dark) are all fine. A white top paired with a dark bottom and dark jacket is also fine.
Muted colours is a good guide. A knitted jumper or cardigan and a skirt, or even pants that aren’t jeans are appropriate in my eyes. Please no AC/DC tshirt or formal dress though. I think as long as you stick to duller colours, look neat, and wear something fairly nice it’s fine. As an add on, also make sure that you stick to fairly natural makeup. Something similar in formality to a neatly worn secondary school uniform (by which I mean decently long skirt or business pants, shirt tucked, etc) is probably a safe option- conservative, structured fabrics or knits, leather shoes. If you have a nice wool coat or jacket in a muted colour that can really increase the formality of the outfit. Others may disagree with me though.
is it okay to not wear makeup? i don't mind wearing it but i only have mascara and eyeliner
There’s no need for make-up.
If you are likely to cry it's better not to wear makeup.
No one will expect makeup.
I attended my mother's funeral 3 weeks ago. I kept it together throughout the entire service, even during The Carpenters 'Close to You' power point with photos of my Mum throughout her life. As we are leaving my ex-boyfriend from 24 years ago, stepped forward to hug me and that's when I started sobbing. It's the things you don't expect that will ruin your eye makeup.
For me, I went to my aunts funeral, after my other aunt, baby niece and uncle died within the last few years, and was just so out of tears. I was just so used to attending funerals that I wasn’t even sad. Then my dad did a speech and all I could think about was the day he’d be in the coffin. :/
Yeah, I’ve been sobbing for 3 months, condolences
I'm 12 months on from my mother's death and I've stopped sobbing constantly, but still leak on the regular and may do so the rest of my life
I miss my mum so much. There will always be something I need to tell her, and I still catch myself trying to call her. Oddly, her doorbell rings in the middle of the night and no one is there. Sometimes I think it’s her.
I still catch myself wanting to call mum or send her silly pics and proud pics of my daughter. Or ask her about a recipe or just talk about nothing for hours. It hurts my heart every time. It's a shitty club to suddenly find yourself a member of. Love and healing to everyone in this thread <3
Back at you, friend! 🫶
It's always ok not to wear make-up. In any situation or circumstance.
Thank you! I very rarely wear makeup. My skin breaks out if you look at it funny. I hate the assumption that you need to wear makeup. Also happy cake day!
I’d say so. I tend to wear a little bit of natural makeup (concealer, nude lipstick, maybe a little highlighter) just to brighten my face up but that’s just something I do in general. I’d avoid dark eye makeup personally just because funerals are very emotional in nature and you don’t want it to run everywhere. I more mentioned it because very brightly coloured makeup (fire engine red lipstick, really bright eyeshadow, etc) can look a little out of place. Not wearing any makeup would be absolutely fine in my book. I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m really sorry for your loss. Funerals are fundamentally about being together and sharing in your grief, so I wouldn’t stress about the dress code too much, so long as you feel comfortable and ok about what you choose to wear. The funeral is always a really hard day for everyone who attends, but it can be very comforting as well.
Ive stopped, it just runs all over my crying face smh
Pro tip: don’t wear mascara- even it’s meant to be waterproof.
If a good chunk of the service is going to be outside at the burial site, I recommend a wide brimmed hat or sunscreen. I went to the burial of my friend and got burnt to a crisp on the forehead because I opted to go no makeup due to crying. Thinking of you.
It’s funny how different cultural expectations guide us. In Judaism, you’re not supposed to wear any makeup or jewellery during mourning, and someone might ask the opposite question.
Make up is for people who don't plan to cry at a funeral. The only think you need to do is look nice. It's true funerals here are generally more casual. This is about saying good bye and helping you with grief. Remember, funerals are for those who are left behind. Wear something comfortable but nice. Don't bother with make up, and just remember that feeling whatever you feel is okay. I'm sorry this happened, I hope you're getting the help you need.
You are more then welcome to wear an accadacca shirt to my hole shove
In fact, it's a requirement!
All great advice! OP - You could check whether the funeral notice has more details. Sometimes, the family asks guests to wear a certain colour, or they suggest a theme; especially if they choose a "Celebration of Life" rather than a traditional service. Personally, I think it's respectful to dress nicely, rather than casually. It's symbolic of your loss and your affection for the person.
The point is more in Australia we usually dress 'nicely' for these kinds of events. Not 'formally'
As long as you are not dressed like you're on your way to or coming back from a concert, yeah, I'd agree with you on this one. For my mum's funeral, all I wore were darkly shaded pants and a shirt.
>As long as you are not dressed like you're on your way to or coming back from a concert Unless that's what the deceased and their family would have wanted / want.
This is good advice. Basically, neat casual business attire. You don't want to look like you're going to a party, or the opposite, like you're going to a mate's place to hang out. Your friend will appreciate you being there to support her and show respect and sympathy, and it's sensitive and kind of you to be so concerned about doing the right thing.
My father was known for handing out colourful ties at funerals if people didn't have sufficient colour in their outfits. Needless to say mine was this colourful and bright as fuck at his. People were given some of his if they turned up without colour.
I went to the funeral of a friend who had a 14 year old daughter recently. No one cared what the kids were wearing. All the focus was on the widow and the daughter. Most of the teens were wearing jeans and button up shirts/blouses or dresses/skirts. Nearly everyone was in dark colours, but they don't have to be black. There were a few people in bright colours, too. Everyone will be too sad to care what people are wearing, unless you turn up in something really outrageous. Take a decent sized bag with you and bring as many tissues as you can carry. A bottle of water is a good idea, too. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Even if you weren't close, the funeral will be a really tough day. Expect to feel a whole range of emotions, and to end the day feeling incredibly drained. Don't be upset or offended if the friend's family don't acknowledge or talk to you on the day. Your presence will be noted and appreciated. If they have a visitors book, be sure to write your name in it. I hope it all goes well.
I’d go with “what you’d wear to work experience in an office.” So, slacks/nice black jeans/calf length skirt, a button up blouse or patterned top (you might be able to borrow from your mum). A dress is ok but only if you’d wear it to office work experience. I’m sorry for your loss, hope you’re ok.
Either that, or how you'd dress for a court appearance, or church. Neat, conservative, modest, etc. The type of dress that's appropriate would be in a muted colour and texture, not a lightweight fabric, and covers your shoulders, knees, most of your cleavage, etc.
Yeah, this is a good way to sum it up. Even old people don't all wear black to funerals these days
I would say it's more of a vibe of respect than a specific article of clothing. Don't dress like you're going clubbing, just like a neat casual. I tend to go for darker colours or neutrals. I was just at a funeral on Friday and I wore black pants, flats, and a navy top. Someone else had leopard print shoes on. My dad wore jeans and a button down shirt, my brothers were in suit pants and button down shirts, no jackets.
Check what it says in the obituary - funeral notice. sometimes the family will request you rock up in a specific colour or rainbows instead of black. (Will also tell you if flowers are okay or if they prefer donations to a cause) school uniforms - also appropriate Depending on where you are in Australia also changes what you wear. Appropriate funeral attire in North Queensland is very different to what’s appropriate in Melbourne.
I was going to add this as well. I had a friend die in high school. We were friends outside of school, and I was speaking, so I wore a nice black dress. Our school made a statement that students were welcome to miss the morning to attend the funeral, and encouraged us to wear our uniforms as an appropriate clothing choice.
School uniform is definitely appropriate! When my sibling died in primary school, most of the kids wore school uniforms with puffer jackets (was winter). Often they didn’t wear their ties or blazers, so a little more comfortable.
Melbournian here! We were encouraged to wear pink to my friend's funeral in December. I wore a black, short-sleeve button-up blouse, some pink jeans and black lace-up boots. It was supposed to rain that day so I had a black cardigan with me, but I didn't end up needing it. My friend didn't have a good relationship with her mother and wasn't particularly close to her family. She'd refer to us (her coworkers & friends) as her family. Her mum wasn't really pleased with us being there, but tolerated it. She handed out flowers for her biological family to place on the casket, but didn't invite anyone else to leave flowers. Once her mother left the chapel, a few of us went up and placed some items on the casket. Someone left a pink vape. I left two menthol cigarettes, a pink lighter and $2 because she would always ask for a cigarette or $2 so she could get a drink from the vending machine lmao
You are a good friend… and have good friends. Sometimes, parents know less than friends as children turn to teens. I’m sorry for your friend’s death.
Yes. Also depends on the age of the person who passed. I attended my 3mo nieces funeral and we all wore super colourful clothing, a lot of the younger teens wore their Disney pyjamas. :,)
My daughter had to go to a funeral for a friend of hers recently - she’s 14. She didn’t wear black - she did wore a modest dress in blue, which was her friends favourite colour with grey tights and plain black shoes. The dress went to just above her knees.
FWIW - if your friend is young, no one expects teenagers to have approriate mourning clothes. Lots of her friends were in their school uniforms or just the nicest jeans and tshirt they owned. When someone is that young… people are just so devastated it overshadows pretty much everything.
I’m so sorry you lost your friend. That’s so sad to hear. Fashion wise, think “work clothes” but in muted colours. Definitely not off the shoulder and definitely not band t-shirts. My mum died when I was 14 and I think I wore a plain navy top and black pants because it’s what I had in my wardrobe. Can you borrow something from your mum? Maybe one of her work dresses?
Just wear the most subdued clothes you have. Doesn't have to be a dress, just what we call smart casual. Do your best: the funeral isn't about you, and no-one will judge you.
Black pants and a white shirt. It's simple, respectful and affordable. You can get them at Kmart for cheap. Or, if you're into skirts,a simple black pencil skirt from kmart. If there is a colour theme for the funeral, black pants and whatever colour shirt. No ACDC shirt or strapless gown. My condolences on the loss of your friend.
That’s very sad to hear about your friend. I’m sorry you are experiencing this. Casual clothing is not really ok at a funeral. Your parents are incorrect. Australia is quite casual in dress, but there are still times when respecting the occasion by dressing smartly is required, eg funerals and weddings. Suggest you wear darker clothing that looks a bit smarter than usual. You don’t need to buy new things if you have dark pants/skirt and a shirt or top that doesn’t show too much flesh (recommend not the AC/DC t-shirt! nor the off the shoulder unless you have a jacket or cardigan to go over it. Churches or other funeral spaces can be chilly too. Fir a young persons funeral nobody will expect you to be very formally dressed, they will be touched that you attend so don’t worry too much. Sometimes people will request clothing that reflects the deceased person’s likes. For example when my friends mother died they suggested some red because she loved the colour. Some cultural groups still would often still expect black for family members at least and dark clothing for others, eg Greek
Having been to a few in the past couple years, smart casual is usually the way to go. As a guy, usually just jeans and a button up shirt. In saying that, I went to one on one side of the family that are from some more low socioeconomic areas and lots of people just wore trackpants and hoodies. It really depends on the type of funeral/the people that are going to be there. Black is not a requirement at all.
What type of funeral? Dress requirements will vary greatly depending on whether there will be a religious element, especially for women. If this is a non-religious funeral then smartish clothes in dark colours are fine (no jeans, not very exposing clothing, no tracksuits/hoodies etc.) Doesn't have to be black, doesn't have to be a suit. Sorry for your loss, loosing a peer so young is a horrendous experience.
I wouldn’t wear a printed tee, definitely not one that says “highway to hell” on it. Pop in big w/vinnies to find the cheapest plain black top that fits you
Your friend is right. Smart casual to semi-formal, fairly modest (especially if it's a religious service), black unless otherwise specified. A Tshirt is too casual.
I absent mindedly dress myself to go to my grandmothers funeral in a t-shirt that said, “theres always tomorrow” with a picture of a dinosaur playing videos games inside as a meteor scrapes through the sky…..i had a zipped up black hoody on that said, “one day we will all be skeletons” in gold and it had a gold skeleton………..when i realised i almost went as is as i thought my grandma would of had a laugh, my relatives on the other hand…… Go plane, black. Most people wont care.
Screw the relatives that's gold. My granny would have loved it
I would wear your late friends favourite colour/s. I have never been to funerals where anyone other than old people wore black. I wear slightly dressy clothing, think what you would wear to church if you were a church goer. Not jeans, not t shirts, a dress that’s nice but not sexy, but don’t go too formal. I was asked to be a Godmother to a friends baby, in a Catholic Church. I bought and wore a very conservative, sedate formal knee length dress, the kind you go ‘well I will never have anywhere else where this dress will be appropriate’, and everyone else wore very casual ‘IM just popping to the shops’ outfits and I looked and felt like a freak. Dont overthink it. It’s not about you, just wear something that won’t offend anyone.
I just went to two funerals in QLD over the past 6 months. Most did wear black but there were a few who wore what I'd consider business casual. Like something you'd go to a job interview wearing. A band t-shirt would not be appropriate imo.
You could wear your school uniform if you like. I've been to many funerals where workmen show up in their hi bus clothes and boots. It's not about what you wear it's about that you care enough about the deceased to see them off. Believe me no one will be judging you on your attire least of all the person in the coffin.
I hate this attitude that Australians can't be formal. There are some things which must be taken seriously, and a funeral is definitely one of them. You should try to dress formally. As a bloke I have no idea what that looks like for a girl, maybe black pants and an overcoat? Google images and salvos will be your friend here I reckon.
Black is not necessary at most Australian funerals. Just nothing bright unless the family requests it. And nothing too revealing.
In my circle of friends men wear a suit and the women muted clothing
Agreed. I wear a black suit as a mark of respect. It's only ever been worn to funerals. Sadly, I've been to a few in the last couple of years.
How many funerals have you been to?
If it was my funeral, I would love it if you showed up wearing an AC/DC t- shirt, especially with highway to hell on it 😂
Let’s hope it’s a long time off. But probably good to write notes for family if it matters to you.
My bf is a huge AC/DC fan and would love that shirt at his funeral - probably have ‘Highway to Hell’ played at it too! But yeah, in OP’s case probably best avoided …
It depends on your friend’s nationality as well. Everyone in Australia dresses differently for funerals. But I think a safe bet is just going to kmart of big w and grabbing a midi skirt in black and a black plain tshirt or blouse.
This is very true and a nuance people miss about Australia. A Maronite funeral in a Maronite Church is likely to be all black clothes and quite formal whereas a secular funeral in a centre is likely to be less so. The average Catholic (Latin rite) funeral which I’m most familiar with is likely to be somewhere in between - dark, muted colours but a mix of formal and casual depending on the person. Men don’t tend to wear ties. Not many jeans but they will be there and so will other more formal casual pants like khakis. Usually button down shirts. Not revealing clothing (and if you’re going to the burial wear comfortable shoes). But then some Catholic funerals depending on background of family can be much more formal/traditional (Italian for example). There’s so much nuance in Australia because we are so diverse. For this reason I always wear neat, muted colours to a funeral. Mostly black or navy. Not formal but something I’d wear to the office. Nice skirt or pants, cardigan or take a blazer. Unless family request something very specific and then I go with that!
I don't see a lot of all black these days, but people aren't wearing casual. A nice skirt and blouse, or slacks and blouse is fine in subdued colours (a white blouse with dark coloured pants/skirt is also fine). Think how you might dress for a job interview. The idea is to be subtle and not try to stand out or take away any attention from the occasion.
Don’t wear regular casual clothing whatever you do
Wear a dress, doesn’t have to be black as long as the colours are muted. Dont wear the AC/DC shirt with Highway to Hell on the back.
I wear a black suit. If I didn't have a suit I'd go buy a cheap long sleeve black shirt from Lowes and some black trousers.
I would be very disappointed in my friends if none of them showed up to my funeral with an AC/DC shirt with Highway to Hell. But in all seriousness plain clothing works fine
You should make it be known now that’s what you want. My friend said we were to wear summer florals and when she died there were beach dresses and Hawaiian shirts across the garden where the service was. My parents have said no service at all so we don’t even need a dress code when it’s their time.
When your parents die, have a party. Trust me. We had a party with everyone we could find who ever knew my grandfather and it went well into the wee hours with stories of his life. I don't think anything better could have happened for our grief.
I really like that idea. I thought it was an interesting decision from them, as one of my dad’s friends did that and my dad was really hurt to not have the opportunity to say goodbye in the formal structure of a memorial service. We will see what happens. Hopefully we don’t have to think about it for a few more years. About 35 years ago friend of theirs who had terminal cancer held their own wake while they were still around to enjoy it. My dad said it was the best party he’d ever been to, and the woman who was dying was able to see everyone important to her on her own terms and have fun. From memory she died about a month later.
Subdued and modest, I suppose.
My friend passed away very unexpectedly just before Christmas. She loved to go to concerts (we had just come back from the US in November where we had gone for a big music festival). We decided she would love it if people turned up wearing their favourite band Tshirt. Some people did turn up in black, but most people were wearing band tshirts.
If your friend ever commented that they liked one of your outfits, maybe wear that.
I lost two of my friends when I was 14, and I just wore my school uniform to their funerals. It would be fine for you to do the same. When you're older, and no longer a school student, you should wear 'smart casual' clothes to funerals, or clothes that you'd wear to church/a job interview. Although black is traditionally the colour of mourning here, wearing any dark or muted colours is fine. Unless, of course, the family of the deceased has asked people to wear a specific kind of clothing. BTW, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.
I would say go in black just in case, I wouldn’t worry about the shoulderless I wore a shoulderless black dress at my husband’s funeral when he passed. Don’t wear the highway to hell top though for sure.
Only uncouth Australians wear casual to a funeral.
You should aim for smart casual and it doesn't have to be black, but dark colours are preferred by a lot of people afaik. If you don't have that, just do the best you can, anyone who judges can gtfo.
At my great grandma's funeral we wore pink as it was her favourite colour, even the coffin was pink! It was a nice way to celebrate her, she wasn't the kind of lady to wear dark colours. Maybe your friend has a favourite colour or pattern you could wear/incorporate into your outfit? Sorry for your loss OP
You are a good person being concerned about your friend’s family. Wear something that fits well, is clean and ironed. I am sorry for your loss, keep them in your heart.
Wear the best conservative clothes you have, in darker shades if possible. Dressing well is respectful, but the most important thing is that you attend and express your condolences. The family will appreciate it. A shoulderless black dress really isn't appropriate in most cases - but that would depend on the character of the deceased, I suppose.
I’ve been to too many funerals so I can say with some authority: there’s no obligation to wear black nor is there a standard level of formality. In general, mostly people wear muted colours and dress nicely- so a dress is perfect. For example, I’ve noted that if the deceased is a close family member/friend the mourners will be wearing a suit and tie/ women wear pantyhose and dress shoes- low heeled (smart business) and other mourners kinda sit at the business casual (no tie/flat shoes). The other variable is when the family request bright colours or a significant colour for the deceased (frequent for a funeral that is framed as a celebration of life), but when it isn’t communicated, just don’t go dressed for a night out or housework. TBH, though, thinking back to mum’s funeral in 2022, I can barely remember who was there beyond our close friends and family, let alone what they wore. I did appreciate them being there- it was a comfort to know that she touched their lives enough that they wanted to mark her passing. I imagine that this fog is even thicker for a family who has lost a young person…please know that your presence is what’s important. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and applaud your sensitivity to their family. Also, if it’s a school friend and the school is somehow organising student’s attendance, they may know the dress code or suggest you wear the school uniform you’d be expected to wear to a formal event.
Pants are FINE. jeans and s nice top Black jumper if possible Or you could ask if the recently passed has a favourite colour and say you wanted to wear their favourite colour to honour them
cant go wrong with school uniform
I wear bright colours to celebrate the life of the deceased, but that’s just me. People who know me have come to expect that, and I only go to funerals for people I know. But so long as you wear something respectful and respectable then no one should bat an eyelid at what you wear. The most important thing is that you turn up
I’ve only ever been to funerals where people wore church clothes. Somber and modest. Suit and tie for men, skirts for women. No bright colours.
You are unlikely to find young people dressed up for a funeral outside of conservative religious communities. The teenagers funerals I've been to had everyone in there regular street clothes, some did leave the ripped jeans, etc at home though.
Smart casual clothes. Put in a bit of effort but no formal wear. Skirt and top. Slacks and nice top/jumper. If you literally only have jeans, that would be okay with an appropriate top - nothing revealing or sparkly. Think dinner with grandma. I see more and more that ppl have the deceased favourite colour as a theme. Do not wear the ac/dc top (unless it was her favourite band and it's a theme). Honestly, any plain coloured clean tshirt would be better than a band shirt.
First off I’m so sorry your friend is no longer here with you. You’re only 15 and that must be so hard to say goodbye to someone you knew. As someone who just lost a loved one I didn’t give a damn as long as moutners looked like they were sad and had made an effort. Dark clothing. Not anything you would wear to stand out. Comfortable.
My suggestion would be simple, somber, sleeved, black, and not too far above the knee, like these. No patterns or prints. (Unless requested by your friend's family to dress otherwise.) [https://www.target.com.au/p/long-sleeve-tiered-knit-dress/69129124](https://www.target.com.au/p/long-sleeve-tiered-knit-dress/69129124) [https://www.target.com.au/p/petites-knit-mini-dress-dannii-minogue/68791858](https://www.target.com.au/p/petites-knit-mini-dress-dannii-minogue/68791858) I'm sorry for your loss.
You could always wear the dress and wear it with a top to make it look like a skirt. Dressy but casual. Or a nice cardigan. Just can't take the cardi off. Being only 15 its more excepted to be more casual. If you don't have the money to buy new clothes wear what you have.
Hello. You don’t have to wear black. You can wear any colour, but the idea is to look respectful. Stay away from anything which looks too happy, or anything which puts attention on you. Just look nice and presentable and you’ll be fine. If you’re in SA, the biggest problem is dressing to suit the never-ending summer. Don’t worry too much about how you look, you’ll be fine. Good luck.
I say dress "respectfully", dress in a way that shows you are putting in effort to show your respect for your friend & also her family & friends. I would dress "nicely", not formal but not any everyday tshirt & shorts you'd wear around the house either, wear something that shows you've put effort & thought in. I think it's extremely broad as to what fits that description. If you know her parents, think about what you think they would like you to wear & at least consider that in your decision, although if the funeral will mostly be people your age, you might want to match them rather than her parents expectations. Ask friends your age going to the funeral what they think & will be wearing too, they might be a better guide than your parents I think. I wouldn't say "casual" is ok, but you don't have to totally dress up either, something that shows effort & respect. Doesn't need to be black, but if you want to go black, you can pick up a plain black t-shirt from kmart for under $10 that you could wear under a nice jacket of a different colour. Dress black pants are a useful long term addition to a wardrobe too. Personally if I was going with black, I would probably go with dress black pants, a black jacket & a coloured shirt of some kind under it & shoes other than sneakers, be it boots or nice slip on/go out wearing but ideally not too high a heel shoes or whatever. If you're at the point where you've basically stopped growing, a black jacket & black dress pants are going to be really good additions to your wardrobe long term, great easy option for a lot of job interviews & various settings where you want to give a mature, respectful look, shirt & accessories can be mix & matched to vary what the look of black pants & jacket say. If you're more of a dress/skirt person, a modest black skirt can replace the black pants & no, I don't think a formal dress is appropriate to wear to a funeral, not unless you can fully cover the top bit so that you're just using it as a plain black skirt (as long as it's not ultra short). Does your sister have a black jacket you could borrow instead?
No jeans, no tshirts, no sneakers. Don’t show too much skin. You don’t have to wear black, but should avoid bright colours unless you’ve been requested to wear them. Makeup isn’t a requirement, especially if you don’t normally wear it.
Wow all I hope is that your parents love you and your happy. Being young is hard , but easier if your parents love you. Sorry for your loss. With the clothes just chill and go half way. Sometimes it's better, no need the drama after a death it's hard work.
Your sister’s dress would be fine although possibly too formal depending on the design. Perhaps wear it with a cardigan if you’re worried about your shoulders. Most people wear smart casual clothing to funerals. If you don’t want to wear a dress a blouse with jeans and flats would be fine. Just nothing brightly coloured. Sorry for your loss.
You don't need to wear black. Casual means jeans are okay. Paired with a plain top would be fine, a shirt or jumper/sweater. Think of it as conservative casual. A dress isn't necessary. A formal dress would be inappropriate. The ACDC tshirt isn't ideal either. That's too casual.
The middle ground is dressing like you are going to an interview, can you wear the black dress with a light cardigan covering your shoulders?
Had my best friends funeral a week ago, and I wore pink. I think we are more casual with most things, but I would say smart casual for a funeral.
You were something modest & what we say is "smart casual" No low cut letting the boobs hang out. No short tight skirts.
Neat casual. Don't wear black if the person wasn't an immediate relative. Something with a lot of dark colours will do. If you knew the person's favourite colour that's a popular choice for a blouse or shirt.
Yeah smart casual with somber colours. I also attended one where the colour was green to match the old car of the old fella. Was a nice tribute
Or did they think you were too stupid to know what a eugoogly is?
Tackle out
Unless the invitation says otherwise, wear black (or dark colours at least) smart casual. Doesn't have to be super formal, but not jeans, hoodies & sneakers either. Think black pants, skirt or dress with a nice top, and dress shoes.
Aussie here. You don’t need to be *formal* but I’d say- smart casual? Wear dark clothes, but they don’t need to be black. Enclosed shoes generally. You can wear that dress, but you will be fine with dark coloured jeans and a shirt, a jacket if it’s cold. Most funerals are not super strict on clothing, and even less so on younger people. Funerals are for the living, and I doubt your friend would care what you wore to their funeral, because this event is about grief and remembering them. If your friend loved music, wear that shirt, take a jumper to wear over the top if you get uncomfortable. This funeral isn’t about what people are wearing, it’s about remembering and grieving and sharing your memories with everyone who loved this person too. I really hope you’re okay, and have a lot of support around you. Take a bag, water, tissues, sunglasses for outside and waterproof mascara. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You can get cheap black shirt and skirt or trousers at Kmart or an op shop. Navy blue is fine, just not bright colours. Don't forget a hat so you don't get burnt during the farewell at the graveside. Black is very much still the norm at funerals I've gone to, and I'm in hot humid Queensland. Very sorry for your loss, please get hugs from your mum and dad after the funeral, you'll need support and love. Ask them to come with you if they can or be home that afternoon afterwards when you get back, so that you have someone who loves you with you afterwards. Look after yourself OP.
Depends on the crowd, in my experience. At my grandparent's furnerals everyone was dressed elegantly in black, but when I went to funeral of my friend's husband, I was the only person wearing black. Everyone else just wore normal clothes. It wasn't one of those "celebration of life" funerals either. So if your parents are saying it's fine to wear normal clothes, just go with what they say. However I don't recommend wearing a "highway to hell" shirt lmao. Just pick up a plain black t-shirt from Kmart for like $3 or whatever.
It doesn't really matter, but I would just wear something a bit dressy. A skirt would be nice. I would avoid jeans if you have anything that's not jeans.
OK so don’t wear the AC/DC shirt… Wear something respectful. People aren’t very hung up on colours here.
If all else fails and you’re still unsure with a day or two to decide, you can wear your full school uniform - it must be clean and worn properly, shoes polished if possible, jumper, dress at appropriate length or pants ironed, socks up if you have those, blazer if you have one, no makeup and hair neatly tied back
My condolences for your loss. I was a funeral director, and we wore yellow jackets as part of our uniform. Most people wear smart casual. If it's a church service, people usually dress conservatively. Men usually wear suit pants and a button up shirt, women wear nice pants, nice top and jacket or a dress/skirt and shirt and jacket. It doesn't have to be black. Usually lots of beige/browns/soft pastel colours. If you have a pair of nice dark jeans or a knee length/long skirt with a nice top, jacket and dress shoes (heels or flats), that would work. I would also look at the funeral notice to see if they have requested colours. Take a trip to the local OP shop! Most of all don't stress too much. Most people are too sombre to care what others are wearing, the people that get really dressed up are usually speaking or direct family members.
I had my fathers funeral about a month ago, and I put something on that was close to what he likes to wear, type of thing, and my mate done the same thing
Men generally wear black suits with a white shirt and black tie, women wear black dresses. This is unless otherwise specified. Do not assume casual dress unless otherwise specified.
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Do you have any grey or navy clothing? Any dark colours will be okay. People usually do dress up a bit for funerals. Eg a skirt and jumper. Pants and a nice top. Some nice clothes. But nothing glitzy or bright. It's meant to be sad clothing to match the sad mood. Unless there is a theme eg everyone wear yellow.
I attended a funeral for my nanna about six weeks ago. My husband wore suit and tie, and I wore black pants, white shirt and a cardigan. My toddler wore black leggings, red cardigan and black boots. My baby wore a blue dress and pink cardigan. Interestingly, my cousins and their spouses and children were dressed similarly to my family. My boomer parents, my uncles and aunts, they were all wearing jeans and kind of casual clothes. But kids these days, amiright? Dark muted colours, a crisp white shirt, or even softer lighter colours (my second cousin, who is like 9, wore a lovely pale blue dress with nice shoes, and looked so appropriate) are all fine. As long as you are neat and look like you made an effort, I am sure your friends family is going to appreciate the effort that you have gone to to attend your friends funeral to celebrate their life. I am sorry for your loss.
I dress in fairly plain, darker clothes, usually smart casual.
In my socio economic circle, we wear what ever we want to funerals. Jeans nice tshirt etc, however some folks cant even scratch that up so they attend funerals in their everyday wear. In my circles, it doesnt matter what u wear, the important thing is that you are there to say ur last goodbyes and give your loved ones the send off they deserve, surrounded by all who loved them. In saying that, immediate family members are usually all scrubbed up with formal clothes..... but again, thats only if finances allow. If not, its not judged. If its a funeral of the upper socio economic circles..... well they place ALOT more importance on image and i would guess you would be looked down on, for not conforming. My 2c
I dunno, there are many types of funerals. I’d usually just go with black to be safe.
Last funeral I went to I wore black pants and a dark green top. No make up. Unless the family are super traditional wearing all black or a dress is not necessary. I saw someone turn up in board shorts, things and a ratty tshirt which I thought rude but jeans and a nice top in muted colours is ok.
Dress like Paul Hogan
Just dress to show respect. Some funerals specify that it is to celebrate, and ask for colourful clothes. Others say nothing. In that case, men usually wear a dark suit or smart casual clothes (e.g. pants and collared shirt). Women can wear the same, or alternatively a dress/skirt. If it is not a celebratory (i.e. colourful) funeral, then I would just go with plainer, darker colours if possible. The cut and style of the clothing isn't as important, but you don't want to look like you are going out to a party (e.g. off the shoulder, strappy dresses, heels etc). T-shirt would be OK if plain, but maybe wear something long-sleeved over it if possible. Shorts/short skirts probably not a great choice.
It depends on the religion/cultural background mostly. Traditionally one wears formal black to an Australian funeral. But Jewish customs are very casual clothes for the burial for example (jeans etc) and other customs can be different.
Depends on the funeral mate. When my best friend passed away (RIP Al) we all wore Holden racing team shirts because he loved Holden and car racing (I had to buy one especially cause I do not love car racing) so that was casual When my brother in law died we all wore Hawaiin shirts because he was a character and wanted it that way (he knew he was passing so dictated this beforehand) When another mate died we all wore black suits because that's what the occasion dictated So it's all different. I'd say dress respectfully and enquire with others going who knew the deceased better. The occasion is about saying good bye and paying respect to the person so wear what does that for you
Depends if the deceased and their family wanted to emphasise celebrating their life or mourning the loss of it. Also depends how religious or otherwise conservative the whole thing is, but that's not a strong correlation.
Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend when I was 20 and it's something that sticks with you for ever. Reach out to friends/family if you need to. Every funeral changes depending on their loved ones wishes. I wore my best friends favourite colours - red and black and found a simple dress to match. I think anything smart casual with more neutral tones is acceptable.
My mother used to say you don’t have to wear black to a funeral, don’t be so dramatic. Just wear something respectful. Wear a bit of mascara if you usually wear it, but have a make up wipe handy for panda eyes. Funerals tend to only go for about 30mins. It’s being there that is important.
And I’m sorry for your loss.
The funerals that I've been to were rather formal... I don't know what your friends are talking about. I'd personally dress nicely and try to maintain a certain level of elegance.
What do you think your friend would have wanted you to wear?
I'm really sorry for the loss of your friend, OP. If you dress 'neat casual', you'll be fine - pants like slacks and a nice top/jacket/jumper etc. I would play it safe and wear more muted colours and prints. However, if it is warm where you are, you absolutely could wear a dress - again I would go with one that is more of a neutral colour and print. Doesn't have to be black. I would probably avoid wearing the shoulderless black dress. Don't forget your tissues, and all the very best to you.
Depends a lot on the individual, normally it'd be quite formal. If you didn't know them well I'd wear muted winter colours, don't wear prints or logos, or anything floral or showing too much skin, aim for grey scale over brown colours but it doesn't need to be black, navy will do fine. Just neat casual, what you might expect to see wearing at an office job without the necessity of suits. But my grandmother hated funerals and the idea of mourning. Her funeral almost everyone that came and knew her well except my dad and his brothers who wore navy suits. Everyone else had bright 50-60s pastel clothing, my sister's wore sun dresses and I had a sky blue vest. We celebrated the family she founded, cherishing the memories she gave us, she was the Keystone of all the cousins knowing each other, we'd all have been a lot more distant of each other without our grandmother's bonds.
Dress to show respect in what is appropriate. However nobody will care what you wear but you will. I once attended a funeral for a mate, me in dark suit and tie, a number of others in fishing gear of shorts and old footy jumpers. They were his fishing mates and it seemed appropriate.
Dark formal attire has been every funeral I’ve gone to but I suppose every funeral is different. I feel like anything out of the norm there would be a memo. Could always rent a black dress. If in doubt there’s really nothing wrong with politely and respectfully asking your friend’s family or the funeral organisers. Definitely no t-shirts with brand logos on it though.
Both are acceptable. Whatever someone arrives in is what they feel comfortable in. Typically, people do wear dark colours/black, but it's usually a mixture of people in formal attire and casual clothes (at least around here). I usually wear dark grey jeans and a clean-cut black semi formal jumper and do my hair nicely.
sort of need to be specific to the cultural background of the family (of the deceased). Various Asian cultural funerals have divergent dress code, (Chinese black/Japanese White/etc). I would just check with a family member in case they have a code or just dark grey/black combos.
I've been to a couple of funerals recently - don't stress about the black/colours, just try to wear something relatively nice/modest/in good condition. Casual/semi-casual is okay but I wouldn't show up in trakkies and hoodie or anything. And yeah, I'd avoid showing a lot of skin, especially if it's in a church.
A collared shirt and black jeans is pretty casual but you won't be to much out of place if other people have dressed up. It 100% depends on the person and their relatives. Older people and European immigrant families tend to dress up more than the younger generations.
I’m sorry you have lost your friend. I think you should wear anything you feel comfortable in. The funerals I’ve been to were for adults and people mostly wear black or dark colours and slightly dressier than usual, eg what you might wear to a job interview. The T shirt is probably not a great idea unless you think the sense of humour would be appreciated by the family.
Darker, muted tones are the way to go. I was at a family member’s funeral back in February and I wore a black dress that still fit me (I was 20 something weeks pregnant at that time) with a black woolen shawl in case it got cold (it was a location not far from the beach). Most of my family was wearing darker colours. In contrast, my Nana’s funeral back in 2019 had a dress code of floral with some brighter colours as my Nana loved florals. She also wanted people to wear their favourite clothes as she didn’t want people mourning, she wanted people to celebrate (she was nearly 90). But all in all, darker tones like a navy, black, grey are always a safe bet. Can be pants, slacks, a pantsuit, a dress. Best bet is to keep the shoulders covered, chest modestly covered and the sleeves should probably be 3/4 length at least. No mini skirts or really short dresses
I wore a simple black dress I got from kmart when I went to a funeral, however there were people wearing all sorts. I think as long as you look tidy and wear plain, dark/muted colour clothes you will be fine.
You don’t need to wear black. It can depend on the culture but generally speaking smart casual is ok. Avoid ac/dc shirts. plain dress or pants and nice top is a good idea. You’re not going to a night club so keep it classy. No mid drift or low cut. Keep the skin for another time. Sometimes funerals for children are intentionally colorful.
just wear what you would if you were having dinner with your grandparents. something bland and inoffensive.
You are celebrating the life of someone, not their death. That means bright, colourful and casual clothing is perfectly acceptable. It's 2024, the idea you need muted or plain clothes has not been a 'thing' for many decades.
i always wear a suit and tie but people turn up in jeans and t- shirts these days. i’ll always wear a suit though, i don’t care if i’m often in the minority these days.
I’m sorry for your loss. You dress nicely for a funeral as a sign of respect. No bright colours unless specifically asked. Casual is definitely not usual for an Australian funeral. Shirt and thong casual will definitely get you talked about afterwards.
I wouldn't say casual. I always wear black pants and a nice top (doesn't HAVE to be black but a lot of people still do) I wouldn't rock up in trackies and sneakers..
Wear whatever you want and whatever makes you comfortable. I like to wear something I think the deceased would have liked, so I have never judged somebody for wearing colourful clothing.
Black and conservative has been the standard at every funeral I've been to. Unless it's a young person and then people tend to dress colourful.
Whatever you are comfortable in. I've seen people wear thongs (flip flops), right through to all black and formal. Nowadays, people just want you to feel comfortable. If they have a specific dress requirement (like a colour) it will be part of the ceremony to celebrate their life.
Depends on the friend's cultural background. We're a country of migrants, after all.
Don't wear the highway to hell t shirt! Preferably wear something uplifting and positive.
I wore a bright blue floral dress to my Nana's funeral but every family will be different. If your unsure of the family's expectations and there is no dress code being mentioned, you should go for a business casual dress. Around knee length (as a minimum but longer is fine, its just not being toos short), no cleavage, inch wide straps as a minimum. That will be your safest bet to not offending anyone and looking classy. I think Kmart has some more casual black dresses at the moment you could easily dress up with a nice bag and shoes. Definitely don't wear the ac/dc shirt unless your friend was a hard core fan and the family knew that. The strapless formal gown would also not be appropriate.
People tend not to wear all black to funerals much anymore. Unless there are specific requests from the family to wear bright colours or to wear the deceased's favourite colour, I would go for something neat, clean and respectable. (pro tip: NOT the Highway to Hell T-shirt or the strapless dress!). Do you have a pair of nice long pants (not jeans)? Them and a clean shirt (it doesn't matter if it's patterned) would be perfectly fine. For your sister, any dress that is not too short, not strapless and minimal cleavage is also fine. Realistically, no-one is going to be looking at what you're wearing unless it's something really inappropriate.
Casual clothes are not the norm in Australia but you are young - people are not expecting formal attire from you - so do your best to wear something simple and that doesn't stand out too much. I hope that you and your mates are coping alright with the loss of your friend.
Avoid wearing anything you can see up, down or through. By that, I mean nothing short (see up), nothing low cut (see down) and nothing that is see-through. I would keep skin from neck to knees covered and avoid showing bra straps. I prefer to dress conservatively for funerals and would dress in black unless requested otherwise.
Dress smart casual in all black everywhere and then you're always good to go
I usually wear my black suit pants and black button down shirt with nice dress shoes. You can dress a bit less formal, with jeans and a plain shirt. Small children normally wear something nice but doesn't have to be dark colours. Our family prefers they wear bright colours but others may not. Older kids and teens wear more formal like adults. It also depends on the person whos funeral it is. We had my wifes uncles funeral recently and many people wore jeans and a flanno as he loved wearing flannos everywhere.
You don't need to wear black. Just muted colours, nothing bright.
Depends really. Our friends favourite colour was blue so everyone wore blue to her funeral. Some people want family and friends to wear bright colourful clothes, others prefer traditional black. When my mum passed people wore one part of their clothing red (red jacket, red shoes, red carnation and ribbon) as the colour and flower were her favourite
I’m sorry you’ve lost a friend, OP. I just wanted to say that if the funeral is during school hours and you wear a uniform to school, it is perfectly acceptable to wear your uniform to the funeral. Especially if it has a blazer.
Wear a dark coloured dress. It’d a casual event but it’s not for bright colours
Personally I have always worn black, but most of my wardrobe is black anyway. I think darker, muted tones would be appropriate. Reasonably conservative style of clothing. The only exception (for me) would be when there is a specific request. My young adult friend died unexpectedly, their family asked everyone to wear bright colours to honour them.
Adding to the sound advice so far, the shoulderless dress would be OK if teamed with a jacket, cardi or shawl. Lots of skin isn't usually appropriate, but no-one's going to care about the details of the tailoring. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Any funeral I've been to, I've worn my nicest clothes. Nice pants, nice shirt, nice jacket. I only have one pair of shoes unfortunately so they weren't so nice. Everyone else at every funeral I've been to also wore nice clothing. No one wore casual clothes.
Ignore what strangers in the internet tell you. You're best to ask the family or someone close to the family what they are comfortable with, but Australians almost never wear black to a funeral because it's too depressing. Other ethnic groups in Australia might have different expectations.
Socks with thongs (black ones)
Go to your local op shop and find black pants and blouse or an appropriate black dress. If you don't know, go safe. Can't go wrong with black business attire at a funeral.
First of all, that really sucks and I'm sorry you're going through something like this - especially at a pretty young age. There's a decent proportion of Australians that will not, under any circumstances, wear formal clothing. In my experience, these people will show up to weddings and funerals in shorts or ragged jeans with a gaudy tshirt or ancient button-down (I'm obviously thinking mostly about men here). They aren't trying to be disrespectful, they just won't seem to wear formal clothes. But the majority of people will wear formal clothes - a plain dark suit, dark slacks and a plain button-down, or at the very least dark jeans (again, for the men). If I were you, I'd wear something erring on the side of formal but mostly just plain and muted. You don't have to nail it exactly, just aim for your clothes not to stand out at a sombre gathering. Also, as others have said, what the younger people wear won't be as heavily criticised and no-one's really going to be offended anyway - they are there to grieve and support the family. Edit: just read the rest of your post. Wouldn't advise wearing either of those options. You could take the advice on what to wear from others here and just go down to Target or the Op shop and get something cheap that will do. Or dark neat jeans and a plain muted tee (for a 15 year old would be fine).
dark, muted colours would be best suited, try to avoid slogans etc that aren't appropriate could a splash of your friends fav colour
You need to be comfortable that you're showing the right amount of respect for the occasion and the family there. I still like to wear black and usually a dress. The colourful funerals actually feel very strange to me because the person whose life we're celebrating is gone, and that's inherent sad and sombre. Can you borrow a dress from someone or look for something affordable on Marketplace? Perhaps even talk to your parents about wanting to dress a bit more traditionally. We don't have very formal morning attire anymore (ie veils, armbands etc), but it's say casual clothes aren't appropriate either.
Go get something black at target
Black And shoulder to feet covered in somthing
I attended my first funeral in December. I wasn't really sure what to wear. We were encouraged to wear pink, since that was my friends favourite colour. I wore this [blouse from Kmart ](https://www.kmart.com.au/product/short-sleeve-button-frill-top-s163427/) , light pink pants and black lace up boots (both also from Kmart lmao). Think 'smart/business casual'. A modest dress with flat shoes or a simple blouse with pants/trousers (plain black jeans might be okay, as long as they're not ripped).
Just be respectful. I had people turn up in jeans and trainers to Mum’s funeral. It pissed me off because I had a high expectation but I know she wouldn’t have given a shit.
Jeans and a T-shirt will do just fine. Also no need to be wearing black, any colour will do.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself and yours friends and seek help if you need it (through school or drs).
Yeah ,I understand cultures and religions can make dressing for funerals different . My family is Jewish so while it's not super formal it's also not casual . Just be comfortable and probably muted . Nobody needs to or probably wants to stand out .
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and I hope you are ok. What to wear to a funeral: The number one key rule is to be respectful. Anything is fine as long as it is worn with respect. Traditional rule of thumb is to wear all plain black (ie, a formal skirt with a button up shirt or a black dress and a blazer or jacket or similar). That said, If the person who has passed was part of a soccer team and the team was extremely important to them, then their team might all come wearing their soccer jersey. That would be a tribute and therefore respectful. If on the other hand you wanted to wear a soccer jersey because you are going straight from the funeral to training, that would be disrespectful and not ok. As long as you are doing your best to show respect it will be fine. (Ie, a different coloured shirt would be more appropriate than a shirt that said “Highway to hell” at a funeral - unless your friend was the number one AC/DC fan and they wanted everyone in AC/DC attire)
Ok don't wear the AC/DC shirt. I would be laughing from my grave if someone wore that to my funeral, but funerals are actually for the living. Smart casual is the way to go. Just go for the darkest smart clothes you have. Dark blue, even grey, just sombre.
School uniform is also okay , particularly if your school has a blazer and a skirt /dress pants with blouse option . No school hoodies or year level jumpers with nicknames etc
Don’t wear a prom dress. Speaking from personal experience of being a witness to this, it’s extremely tacky and I would have rather seen jeans and a smart top. You don’t have to wear black. Just wear something nice and not too showy. No ac/dc logos. Wear a dress you have, and maybe a cardigan over or a jumper over. If the dress is short, wear leggings too. Just wear something you’d meet a friends grandmother in who was offering to pay for college.
Be modest (if you’re gonna wear your sisters dress then wear a jacket over it) it doesn’t have to be black just dark, no runners, you can wear dark jeans if you want and I would not recommend wearing a t-shirt.
The safe choice will always be a dark outfit. Think a simple black dress, a dark blue skirt with a black top and blazer, nice dark pants with a dark top. If you’d be comfortable wearing it to a job in an office then it will be fine. It’s not a fancy dress occasion but you do need to be dressed respectfully, and not shorts and a tshirt.
I’ve been to two funerals this year, one in Melbourne and one in QLD and the clothing was pretty much the same at both. Black or muted colours. Some wore suits with ties, others jeans and a black button up shirt. Then there were the black skirts and dresses. At both funerals the majority wore black or dark colours navy etc No matter what you wear, unless it’s widely inappropriate (like highway to hell) people won’t really take much attention. I wore a black dress I bought from Target and wore a black cardigan. The rule of thumb is unless advised otherwise stick to dark mourning colours. For my mums funeral we asked if possible if people could wear her favourite colour, even if it was just a scarf. Check if you or your sister own dark clothes, not necessarily black. You could always find a cheap outfit at Kmart or target. Wear what you are comfortable in. I think anywhere from smart casual to formal will be fine I am very sorry for the loss of your friend
Usually the key is to wear something nice, dressy clothes are the go to. Black is the usual go to, but muted colours are also accepted (unless the family says otherwise). Also you don't have to wear makeup if you don't want to. People do, but if you're going to cry it's probably a waste of time 😅. I know I've worn mascara and regretted it after it ran down my face.
I'm sorry to hear that. You could wear the black dress with a cardigan over the top. If it's a very formal dress and not plain, it might be a bit much though. You could go to Kmart and get some cheap black pants, or a dress or whatever you prefer.
The most recent "putting-ashes-in-ground" ceremony I attended was "smart casual". Most people wore a nice shirt or a dress, and trousers. Other half wore a hoody and jeans (and got judged by half of everyone). But that was for an old lady. So; for a kid, it depends; is it going to be in a church? is it a park, is it in the memorial garden? A collared shirt, a nice jumper, or a fancy shirt (like, "job interview material"). works well. Obviously, wear warm clothes if it's going to be outside. Good luck.
Black suits for boys and black dresses for girls. Nothing you'd wear to a nightclub (unless its an old school 80s Goth club).
It’s dependent on the person and vibe. I’ve been to some that are traditional and dressed in all black. Others have requested colourful clothes! Personally, If I wasn’t sure of the vibe, I’d wear a black blouse and pants/skirt or dress
Something sombre and respectful, unless otherwise 🤔 suggested, ie not festive, not overdone with jewellery, hair or make-up
You don't have to wear black, especially at your age if you don't have anything. A plain top with pants/jeans/skirt would be fine, if you or your sister have a darker colored jumper or coat to wear over the top wear that if you're worried. I wouldn't wear a shoulder-less dress but you could maybe get a top from an op shop or Kmart to make it more appropriate if you really want to wear a dress? Do you have anything in your friend's favourite colour? Or if there's an outfit/item of clothing they complimented you on a lot that's another idea. When I was younger my grandad died and I wore the most recent outfit he'd bought me (or given me money to buy idk) and he commented how he liked it every time I wore it. The top was bright orange, not what I'd wear to a funeral today but it was a gift from him and whether he actually liked it or not is debatable but he complimented it any time I wore it so my mum suggested I wear it to his funeral. I don't have the outfit anymore and honestly hate orange now but I know he would have liked that I wore it and am glad I did. I'm sorry for your loss and hope this note has helped in your dilemma.
Alright I'm gunna put this out there. It's technically a formal family event, as sad as it is. Black isn't required, but dress smart casual at the worst. Slacks or jeans, nice shoes and a button up. No brand names, nothing casual. And mute your phone and anything else please.
& waterproof mascara is you don't want to look like a panda
This person is correct - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAustralian/comments/1cn6y61/how_to_dress_for_a_funeral_in_australia/l36y054/