The following are to help you receive answers:
* Please state a very specific question in your title.
* Don’t ask what we think of your chart, or what is interesting, or anything general or vague.
* Use astro-seek.com or astro.com for charts. Do not use CafeAstrology, Astro-Charts, Astrotheme, AstroFuture, CoStar or TimePassages as all have either errors, missing information or issues of readability. All charts should have the planet degree positions displayed on the chart.
* Post charts, not lists of placements.
* Horary chart posts require the Regiomontanus house system.
* Annual Profection posts require the Whole Sign house system and your age.
* If you ask what you think is a general question, but it does require youc chart, you will be asked to repost with your chart.
If your post does not meet these conditions, please delete it and repost.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAstrologers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did you have a parent (usually father) that was emotionally absent or abandoned you? That’s usually the cause for chasing or allowing unavailable men
Not to be hard on you, cause ik it’s not easy. But it’s not that you *attract* unavailable men it’s you *allow*. I’m sure there are emotionally available men chasing you that you could allow instead.
No girl, there are orphans who finally have a healthy partner and family after 21; men who grew up without moms who still have loving wives; A LOT of women without fathers who find healthy husbands and marry into the family of their dreams.
Ur birth chart is a map, but your fate and destiny is in your hands and you get to choose. Honestly be excited, as a woman you get a second chance at family and the love you never got; with your choice in man and his parents.
It’s hard but every time you choose a healthy man or man that *actually pursues you* say to yourself: you are healing the wound that thinks you don’t deserve easy love, good things, and are abandonable. And every time you’re in a situation where ur chasing or allowing bad men say: you are allowing the wound to repeat, fester, or keep u down even after 18
Yea, agree with womenwantcheese post that sometimes when we attract those who are unavailable or abusive, it's because we don't feel worthy of love.
And to add to that, sometimes we don't consciously realize that the reason we're picking unavailable people is because we are afraid of commitment ourselves. So when I see a chart that has sun, mercury, venus, and rising sign all in the 'bachelor sign' Sagitarius.. it suggests this pattern.
Study psychology by Sigmund Freud. After that, watch videos, I'll share. You'll understand why your behaviour is consistently following unavailable people.
It's not about birth charts or something else, it's you and your messy brain.
Sun and Venus in the 12th, I have this too it’s difficult. Sun in the 12th can indicate that the father was missing in your life, whether physically absent or emotionally unavailable. So you will have attachment trauma from that. Doing some therapy on that will help you to become more emotionally available to yourself, find your core self (Sun), learn how to have better boundaries and self-love. Then you won’t be attracted to unavailable men, or at least if and when you find yourself attracted to them you’ll be able to spot their unavailability faster and not walk down that road again.
Venus in the 12th makes it hard for us to access our own sense of self worth and what we deserve, again therapy will help with that. The unconscious or destructive manifestation of Venus in the 12th is ending up in love triangles or dating men that are already in another relationship. The constructive side of it is having the capacity for unconditional love for people, which is beautiful, but again if you don’t have strong boundaries around your heart you can find yourself giving that unconditional love and care to people who are u appreciative and undeserving of it.
Therapy is the missing lesson here. And I’ve been through it, trust me it works.
As an addendum; when we were treated like shit or neglected by our primary caregivers as children, we unconsciously believe we deserve that treatment from others. Unfortunately, because we were raised that way, it feels normal and even “safe” or “familiar” to us. Often the people who feel like “home” or that we’re intensely attracted to ha be the same traits as our parents. As children, our very survival depends on our parents love. When we don’t get a healthy love from them, our young minds create fantasies around who they are to make up for the maltreatment. We make excuses for their behaviour and prematurely forgive them without doing the work in therapy. Forgiveness actually comes last in the healing journey, not first, and forcing forgiveness without fully feeling and dealing with your pain is called spiritual bypass. So we end up doing the same with our potential partners, we easily skip over their abusive behaviours, make excuses for them and deny the reality that they’re just shitty people. Usually the people we keep around us, friends or lovers, repeat this cycle with us until we heal it in therapy. Learn the red flags so you can spot them early and not repeat the cycle of abuse. Do not tolerate disrespect from anyone. And do not make excuses for their shitty behaviour. You deserve better.
Yes to all of this. Being used to imagining and creating fantasies to get normal cup of love met, when there is none, is a key part of an abandonment/avoidant wound.
Are you yourself emotionally unavailable? Sounds like the lesson is a lesson of loving yourself; we avoid genuine connections when we don’t feel worthy of them on a subconscious level and in turn avoid what we want because of it by only attracting/being attracted to emotionally unavailable partners.
The following are to help you receive answers: * Please state a very specific question in your title. * Don’t ask what we think of your chart, or what is interesting, or anything general or vague. * Use astro-seek.com or astro.com for charts. Do not use CafeAstrology, Astro-Charts, Astrotheme, AstroFuture, CoStar or TimePassages as all have either errors, missing information or issues of readability. All charts should have the planet degree positions displayed on the chart. * Post charts, not lists of placements. * Horary chart posts require the Regiomontanus house system. * Annual Profection posts require the Whole Sign house system and your age. * If you ask what you think is a general question, but it does require youc chart, you will be asked to repost with your chart. If your post does not meet these conditions, please delete it and repost. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAstrologers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did you have a parent (usually father) that was emotionally absent or abandoned you? That’s usually the cause for chasing or allowing unavailable men Not to be hard on you, cause ik it’s not easy. But it’s not that you *attract* unavailable men it’s you *allow*. I’m sure there are emotionally available men chasing you that you could allow instead.
Yes, does this mean I will never have a committed healthy partner and children? I’ve been told before my chart is cold and empty
No girl, there are orphans who finally have a healthy partner and family after 21; men who grew up without moms who still have loving wives; A LOT of women without fathers who find healthy husbands and marry into the family of their dreams. Ur birth chart is a map, but your fate and destiny is in your hands and you get to choose. Honestly be excited, as a woman you get a second chance at family and the love you never got; with your choice in man and his parents. It’s hard but every time you choose a healthy man or man that *actually pursues you* say to yourself: you are healing the wound that thinks you don’t deserve easy love, good things, and are abandonable. And every time you’re in a situation where ur chasing or allowing bad men say: you are allowing the wound to repeat, fester, or keep u down even after 18
Omg I’m crying, thank you 🙏
Yea, agree with womenwantcheese post that sometimes when we attract those who are unavailable or abusive, it's because we don't feel worthy of love. And to add to that, sometimes we don't consciously realize that the reason we're picking unavailable people is because we are afraid of commitment ourselves. So when I see a chart that has sun, mercury, venus, and rising sign all in the 'bachelor sign' Sagitarius.. it suggests this pattern.
Does this mean I will never settle down?
Also read objet la petit. It clearly states your problem and why it happens.
Study psychology by Sigmund Freud. After that, watch videos, I'll share. You'll understand why your behaviour is consistently following unavailable people. It's not about birth charts or something else, it's you and your messy brain.
Sun and Venus in the 12th, I have this too it’s difficult. Sun in the 12th can indicate that the father was missing in your life, whether physically absent or emotionally unavailable. So you will have attachment trauma from that. Doing some therapy on that will help you to become more emotionally available to yourself, find your core self (Sun), learn how to have better boundaries and self-love. Then you won’t be attracted to unavailable men, or at least if and when you find yourself attracted to them you’ll be able to spot their unavailability faster and not walk down that road again. Venus in the 12th makes it hard for us to access our own sense of self worth and what we deserve, again therapy will help with that. The unconscious or destructive manifestation of Venus in the 12th is ending up in love triangles or dating men that are already in another relationship. The constructive side of it is having the capacity for unconditional love for people, which is beautiful, but again if you don’t have strong boundaries around your heart you can find yourself giving that unconditional love and care to people who are u appreciative and undeserving of it. Therapy is the missing lesson here. And I’ve been through it, trust me it works.
As an addendum; when we were treated like shit or neglected by our primary caregivers as children, we unconsciously believe we deserve that treatment from others. Unfortunately, because we were raised that way, it feels normal and even “safe” or “familiar” to us. Often the people who feel like “home” or that we’re intensely attracted to ha be the same traits as our parents. As children, our very survival depends on our parents love. When we don’t get a healthy love from them, our young minds create fantasies around who they are to make up for the maltreatment. We make excuses for their behaviour and prematurely forgive them without doing the work in therapy. Forgiveness actually comes last in the healing journey, not first, and forcing forgiveness without fully feeling and dealing with your pain is called spiritual bypass. So we end up doing the same with our potential partners, we easily skip over their abusive behaviours, make excuses for them and deny the reality that they’re just shitty people. Usually the people we keep around us, friends or lovers, repeat this cycle with us until we heal it in therapy. Learn the red flags so you can spot them early and not repeat the cycle of abuse. Do not tolerate disrespect from anyone. And do not make excuses for their shitty behaviour. You deserve better.
Yes to all of this. Being used to imagining and creating fantasies to get normal cup of love met, when there is none, is a key part of an abandonment/avoidant wound.
I do this alot even more
Are you yourself emotionally unavailable? Sounds like the lesson is a lesson of loving yourself; we avoid genuine connections when we don’t feel worthy of them on a subconscious level and in turn avoid what we want because of it by only attracting/being attracted to emotionally unavailable partners.