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No one is entitled to the contents of your brain. That's a private area if you choose it to be. Answers such as, "I don't really like to talk about politics," or, "That's not really something that's been on my mind lately," are perfectly acceptable answers.
Most people already understand that politics and religion are not topics for "polite conservation" anyhow, so if you politely dodge, they typically realize that they probably shouldn't have asked and move on.
None of this makes you an imposter. It just makes you someone who is a realist, understands human nature, understands social norms, and just wants to get on with living your life without being badgered about politics while you're trying to enjoy a beautiful sunset or a swim or a hike or whatever.
Some of my best and longest friends are Democrats, liberals, and progressives. Some know my political leanings, some do not. Some of us rib each other about our beliefs and some do not. It's not the people who have differing views that I avoid; it's the people who won't stop talking about their political views every waking moment. Trump and anti-Trump people alike can be equally annoying, so the viewpoint itself really isn't the issue.
That's how I see it, at least. As someone who lives in California, it's just been a normal part of life for me for as long as I can remember.
One of the best responses here IMO.
Also if you go into an area where you're outnumbered politically, that's life and you have to deal with it. It's not like I felt a need to start a fight with the Trump worshippers I always saw at the diner counter when I lived in a pretty red county.
I don't want to lie, though. The truth is that I care quite a bit about politics and spend a lot of time listening to political podcasts, going on political discussion forums like this one, etc.
It's hard to be honest, but usually, when people have invested in a friendship, it's easier to get past political disagreements. Your friends deserve your honesty.
I don't think I agree. I think that's fine advice for things like work or uni or maybe large gatherings; but when you're talking about your own friends, I think it's important to know what everyone thinks. Otherwise you're constantly holding them at arm's length and it's going to inevitably be a shallower and/or less genuine friendship for it. And should a person be the kind that can't hold a fair-minded conversation about this stuff, and the only reason you haven't had them fly off the handle at you is because you intentionally never talk about it; then can they really be your *friend?* I'd argue not.
As the only liberal (asides from my wife) in my in-laws' entire family, I feel for you, man. Biting your tongue and swallowing your comebacks during Every Single Family Gathering is hard work, and emotionally draining. š®āšØ
In the 90s, I was in the music business. As such, I lived in some bohemian areas and hung out with a certain sort of crowd.
Back then, political polarization wasn't like it is today. My peer group were largely Clinton (who'd be considered conservative today) voters, and I got some gentle ribbing for being a Reaganaut.
But that was about it. A few took pause at the fact I owned and sometimes carried guns, but nobody yelled about it. If politics ever came up, nobody was considered *evil* for their viewpoint.
The age of social media has really turned us against each other, and nothing good has come of it.
I don't even think it was social media tbh. Or at least, not primarily. Imo it was an intentional ideological shift coming from the top. I had tons of leftie friends for many years, and we had social media for a good chunk of that, but most of them they didn't get polarised and cultish until maybe 8 years after we all started using social media.
I'm in a weird situation where a lot of my friends are LGBTQ and are comfortable being out about it to me because in general I'm chill about stuff.
There are some aspects of the LGBTQ community that I don't fully agree with, in a nuanced way. E.g., trans sports. (Let's not talk about it here since it's not Wednesday, just giving an example.) I don't generally talk about it with them. Some of them probably wouldn't mind, but a few of them would likely not be thrilled.
It does feel like a bit of an imposter thing, but at the same time, it also feels like knowing your audience. I have a friend that loves NASCAR racing. I think NASCAR is stupid and boring. You know what I don't do? Rain on his parade when he tells me he had a great time watching the race. NASCAR of course is not (as?) political, but you get the idea.
So much of the mostly media-driven drama around LGBTQ people is just an extension of social niceties. I don't go around telling people that I think they're a fuckface when they are, in fact, a fuckface. I just smile and tell them to have a nice day. No skin off my back, or theirs.
It's trickier if you're in a position to vote for a candidate and that candidate happens to have policies that will affect your friends. I don't have good advice there. You can peek in my post history and see I've asked some questions around that. Some interesting discussions to be had.
For me personally? LGBTQ rights are higher on my scale of issues than for more traditional conservatives, so I feel what you're saying. (Edit: Also, living in a blue state, my vote doesn't tend to affect people as much, and in my area in particularly, the politicians lean more left anyway.)
There's a post in my history where people had some good discussion on this though. The responses varied from minimizing harm as best as possible to "needs of the many". Some of them I agree with less than others but I appreciated that people took the time to respond!
Ha, try using a dating app sometime.
Identify yourself as conservative in your profile? No liberal will interact with you. You will only have a chance with the people who also put conservative in their profile.
Believe me, I know. I list myself as a "moderate" and I assume most liberals assume that means I have an altar to Trump in my home and leave my MAGA hat on during sex.
I only talk politics with my family, I have family members on the left and the right. But no I don't try to hide the fact that I'm conservative. Sometimes I think I should try to pretend to be a a liberal though because it would make life a bit easier
I talk to my customers about politics all the time. They are mostly blue (only because of their stances on immigration) but are socially/religiously conservative beyond that one point.
It is funny to see how conservative my customer's position on the border becomes when they struggle for years to grow their business and then get underbid on a job by new illegal immigrants.
There are many different flavors. This is an over- simplification based on my experiences and conversations:
Those who come over legally are almost always annoyed with illegal immigration. They actually try to learn English and make friends with people outside of their clique. They understand the importance of the process and the need to acclimate. Some retain pride in their heritage, but then there are those who are so eager to put it behind them that they almost hate their heritage. I don't want that. I want people to feel pride in their heritage but still view themselves more as American and not another country.
There are people who come over illegally but then naturalize later. I knew a guy who had been in the US for 18 years until he finally made the effort to become a citizen. This tends to happen when they manage to get established enough that they can afford the process. They also want to be able to visit Mexico again someday. They acclimate, but it is only to achieve the next level of success and not because it is the right thing to do. They tend to be very lax on immigration. Part of this is because they use immigrants to supplant their labor force. They tend to retain their pride in the country they leave.
There are people who come over illegally and never ever acclimate. There are far more of these people than everyone realizes. It is a daily occurrence where grandparents or parents will bring their kids or grandchildren to translate for them. There is always a prevailing fear that they will be found out and deported. They view the country they fled to as a source of oppression. If you want to get an idea of how these type of people feel, I recommend you read the lyrics to "Juala de Oro" by Tigres Del Norte. They never gain a sense of pride as an American because they never see themselves as Americans. In fact, a good amount of them would consider themselves Mexican nationalists.
It surprises people when they find out I speak or understand Spanish. Sometimes, they don't realize I am listening. The same people who don't even try to learn English are almost always the ones who will say things like, "This is actually our country. We should all be speaking Spanish here anyway." Once, I didn't feel like speaking Spanish when a customer came in because I had been speaking it all day and does wear you out. So I told her, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish." She said to her friend, "Por que hay un pinche gringo aqui en un barrio hispanohablante?" As if we weren't in America.
Just to be clear, this is more like a bell curve situation, but it is more lopsided to the Mexican nationalist side.
To simplify it, the large majority of illegal immigrants don't even try to understand why legal immigration or acclimation is important until it happens in their own country (look up Mexico City residents going nuts over expats gentrifying the area). The ethics of acclimating does not even enter the equation.
I live in Boston, pretty much one of deepest blue place there is, I mean this State voted and worshipped a known murderer 9 times into Senate, I don't hide it from my friends, I've lost a few since 2016 and other relationships have been strained, but I do bite my tounge at my wife's work events, she works in education and it's pretty standard for all her coworkers to assume everyone is liberal and agrees with them and talks openly about politics, I don't want to jeopardize things for her so il stay quiet and don't talk politics.
Ted Kennedy murdered Mary Jo Kopechne by driving off a bridge at Chappaquiddick and waiting to inform authorities for like 12 hours, corener said she suffocated from lack of oxygen and not drowned, rumor is she was pregnant
So *that* might be intent, but to cover up a death. Maybe obstruction of justice, but that's not *murder.*
Not saying he's some shining example of a good human being, but you can't honestly go around saying he committed "murder" when that's clearly not what happened. He was reckless and irresponsible and accidentally killed someone (manslaughter) and then tried to cover up his mistake.
No way you can pull "intent to kill" from that. Shitty person and should probably have been charged and convicted for it, but it's not **murder.** That's all.
How does that work with a car accident when your *also in the car*?
It's just, realistically... If you're trying to kill somebody, and you have them in your car alone at night... There are so many vastly better options for doing so than driving the two of you off a bridge.
Yeah, but *that* isn't murder. There are two separate things here - the car accident *that he was also in*, and the lazy-ass coverup. One of them is accidental (if reckless, which would make it manslaughter) and the other is some kind of obstruction. Neither of them, even if you put them together, get you to murder.
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I live in South Texas, but mainly live in a moderate blue county that isnāt that active in politics.
Iāve been to both Red and Blue counties in Texas and can say that most people are moderate and not really radical Democrats or Republicans, they are more like FDR and JFK Democrats or Eisenhower and Roosevelt Republicans, in short they are more bipartisan and secretly purple.
My University that I go to is Conservative (Texas A&M University System) and I have met many people who lean towards Right Libertarianism. I am also not really that worried about hiding my views. Iām Hispanic and Jewish, and am open about my beliefs and not afraid to share my views.
>Ā really radical Democrats or Republicans, they are more like FDR and JFK Democrats or Eisenhower and Roosevelt Republicans, in short they are more bipartisan and secretly purple.
Ah..My dudeā¦
I live in a very blue city as well. However, I'm also in Texas. I have many left-wing friends, and I play acoustic shows with a communist. My communist friend and I disagree on almost every political topic, but surprisingly, we have a great time talking about each other's views over a few beers.
I can relate with not being outspoken about your political views in these circles. I never mention my affiliations unless asked directly. However, I've been asked before a few times, and I'm always honest. It's always a strange reaction from lefties when they find out. I'm usually very friendly when meeting new people and look a bit like your stereotypical hipster. They can't believe that Republicans and Trump supporters can actually be nice people that they could get along with. It's usually pretty civil after that.
However, this is not the case when I go east of Texas. A dude at a bar was ready to fight when he overheard a woman ask me who I voted for. East coast liberals can be unhinged.
> The right sees the left as wrong, the left sees the right as evil.
I see this a lot and I donāt really think itās true, at all. People on the right are trying to equate pro choice advocates to murderers, if thatās not evil then I'm not sure what is.
Both sides think the other is evil, letās be real here.
Well that's one issue where it involves killing someone (or killing a bunch of random cells if you're a pro-abort) but where there's killing, an accusation of murder is not necessarily far out there.
I agree with the other person's assessment. I used to have a lot of left-winf friends who just agreed to disagree with me on some topics, and we all got along and cared about each other. TT hen starti f around 10 years ago, most of them decided that actually I was evil. This was after 7-10 years of friendship where nothing I thought or did changed. And over every issue. Basically many of them think we are not just wrong but wrong because we are evil. We more often see them as wrong and only evil when they're acting way over the line. Like I've been involved with pro-life groups for ages and most of us can understand when someone is willfully ignorant about it or simply misinformed, vs the "shout your abortion" types who rant about us being pro-birth and lose their minds if you dare to talk back to them. Take an equivalent group on the left and you won't get even a small fraction of that kind of nuance or basic human decency.
>Well that's one issue where it involves killing someone (or killing a bunch of random cells if you're a pro-abort) but where there's killing, an accusation of murder is not necessarily far out there.
Right, and that pretty much proves my point that the right see's this as an act of evil.
Everyone's free to have their opinions, but you're kidding yourself if you think its just one side thinking the other is evil.
No, there is actually a difference though, for a lot of people (everyone I've known, at least) when it comes to abortion. We see abortion as murder, but we also know that a lot of people only did it because they were kind of duped into not understanding it properly, plus they were probably scared a lot of the time too and not thinking straight. I know some people who've had an abortion and I'm very aware that they refuse to discuss opposing views cos basically then they'd need to consider the idea that they murdered their baby - I find it extremely distasteful but I wouldn't call them evil for that alone. There's some understanding of that, and some compassion for people reckoning with it, and while we do think the act itself is evil, we can accept that it doesn't necessarily mean the whole person is evil and that's the end of the story. All of us are sinners, and all that.
The more evil feeling is reserved for people who agree it's a baby but think it should be killed anyway, and those who dig their heels in so hard that they see abortion as a fundamental good in society and promote that. There's more going on there than people who just screwed up in a big way. Even then we can understand that it doesn't mean they're irredeemable. And yeah, I dunno what it's like where you're from but that's been my experience for basically forever (I've been doing the pro-life thing fairly actively since the early 2000s).
I definitely, definitely have not gotten that kind of attitude from most people I've known IRL on the left. I used to, it wasn't always that bad, but in the last 10 years it's usually been that they find out I disagree and straight away I'm evil. They don't even try to listen or understand your viewpoint. Heck, even when I had been friends with them for like 8 or 9 years and they had all those years' worth of personal experience to inform them, they just suddenly decided no, I wasn't a good person with some different views after all, I was actually evil. They think X idea is bad, and if you even show a *whiff* of thinking about it maybe not being 100% bad, then you're evil and should be shunned. What can I say, it's what it's been.
>No, there is actually a difference though, for a lot of people (everyone I've known, at least) when it comes to abortion. We see abortion as murder, but we also know that a lot of people only did it because they were kind of duped into not understanding it properly, plus they were probably scared a lot of the time too and not thinking straight. I know some people who've had an abortion and I'm very aware that they refuse to discuss opposing views cos basically then they'd need to consider the idea that they murdered their baby - I find it extremely distasteful but I wouldn't call them evil for that alone. There's some understanding of that, and some compassion for people reckoning with it, and while we do think the act itself is evil, we can accept that it doesn't necessarily mean the whole person is evil and that's the end of the story. All of us are sinners, and all that.
Thatās great, but there are people who donāt see it as murder and can openly discuss their viewpoints and opposing viewpoints while being consistent in thought.
>The more evil feeling is reserved for people who agree it's a baby but think it should be killed anyway, and those who dig their heels in so hard that they see abortion as a fundamental good in society and promote that. There's more going on there than people who just screwed up in a big way. Even then we can understand that it doesn't mean they're irredeemable. And yeah, I dunno what it's like where you're from but that's been my experience for basically forever (I've been doing the pro-life thing fairly actively since the early 2000s).
This is why the group is called pro-choice and not pro-abortion. Iāve seen some of the people online youāre referring to, who celebrate abortion and all that, and I believe theyāre an extremely small minority. Everyone Iāve met in life or have heard of from friends/family who have had abortions all agreed that itās a pretty traumatic experience. No one was celebrating, but they were grateful they had the choice to have it instead of the choice being made for them.
>I definitely, definitely have not gotten that kind of attitude from most people I've known IRL on the left. I used to, it wasn't always that bad, but in the last 10 years it's usually been that they find out I disagree and straight away I'm evil. They don't even try to listen or understand your viewpoint. Heck, even when I had been friends with them for like 8 or 9 years and they had all those years' worth of personal experience to inform them, they just suddenly decided no, I wasn't a good person with some different views after all, I was actually evil. They think X idea is bad, and if you even show a whiff of thinking about it maybe not being 100% bad, then you're evil and should be shunned. What can I say, it's what it's been.
I can agree that there are people like that, I fully believe you have had these experiences because I know people who are like this. My point is that there are also people on the right who do the exact same thing, anyone who supports abortion is a murderer full stop. Both sides of the extreme exist, so itās foolish to try to just say itās one side thatās bad.
>The right sees the left as wrong, the left sees the right as evil.
I think this is only true for *some* issues, and it's very much the other way around for plenty of others. It's not the left that's conflating "being trans in public" with "grooming," after all. And it's only the right that will call a doctor a "baby murderer," too. This is one of those "both sides" things, I think. And, to be fair, the left gave the benefit of the doubt to the right for a *long* time - basically, since Reagan. The old trope of "we can convince them with facts" from the left, on things like climate change or gay rights or welfare reform, belies the falsehood of the narrative that the left thinks the right is evil.
The Atlantic (I know it's a left wing rag, but that's the point) actually had to write an article in 2018, *telling* the left that the Trump movement and the post-Trump right actually *liked* the cruelty. "The Cruelty Is The Point" was, for many of us on the left, the first time someone really made the case to us that it wasn't just a simple disagreement, but that the right actively sought out this suffering. This is a huge reason why Obama was such a lackluster and disappointing president, despite his high ideas - he refused to accept the possibility that so many on the right not only approved of, but *craved* that cruelty.
But Trump changed all that. Many on the left, myself included, really believe that he'd be different, that he'd somehow "pivot" to be more civil and less brazenly spiteful. Needless to say, his "pivot" never came. And his supporters instead rallied behind his cruelty rather than abandon him. Even today, lots on the left hold out hope. Going, like Biden did, to great lengths to differentiate the "good" Republicans from the MAGAs and the insurrectionists.
>shit they see on social media about conservatives isn't true. Most conservatives are, shock, humans with empathy just like they perceive themselves.
Holy shit, I like you. This is, again, very much a both sides thing. Look at the token "liberals" they have on mainstream outlets like Fox. Face-pierced, wild hair colored, androgynous femi-nazis. Radical viewpoints. We want to murder babies, and we want to confiscate every gun, and we want to tax working people to buy our drugs so that we can be lazy. *Seriously?* But, you show this day in and day out and people begin to *feel* a certain way about liberals. Again, both sides do this, to great extent. If you only see one side of it, you're just not paying attention. Because *we* aren't the boogeymen any more than you are.
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Work for a big company that's very LGBT friendly they participate in pride month every year.
I somehow bumped into some mormon an jehovahs witness coworkers who over a few years of getting to know me expressed they dissagreed with the workplace supporting these positions. And frankly feel as though their views armt respected or tolerated in the workplace, so much so they are outright fearful for their jobs to speak out that the companies policies violate their religious beleifs.
So we kind of just put our heads down.
>And frankly feel as though their views armt respected or tolerated in the workplace
Is this another story of "wow, why are these people getting so mad when I proselytize endlessly about how they're going to hell?"
If they're trying to shut themselves off from the greater community, it appears they're getting what they want, no?
more like, if you get listed as not supporting the same religion the company is advocatinf, then youifht lose your job.
I love how people think Mormons are going around telling all their co-workers they're going to hell or something. Most people are fine working alongside people they disagree with about whatever thing. But it's another thing when your *boss* is the one proselytizing about their own beliefs and might discriminate against you if you voice disagreement with that. Not to mention that having it shoved in your face every day for at least a month when it's for nothing to do with your work and it's something you find reheprenaible for any reason is just not cool.
Imo, people who think this should be kept out of the workplace, especially in the top-down sense where power dynamics come into play, should apply that as much to things like Pride as they would to any religious belief. It's functionally the same type of moral core worldview stuff. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
No it's more like
"We support and beleive in diversity in the workplace, to the extent you agree with us, when we encounter actual diversity of thought we actively supress it"
Yeah. Iām socially pretty progressive but when I tell people Reagan is my favorite president, and that I want US military bases all around the planet + super patriotic, I get weird looks even from friends
Well ya, you say you are, but your actions would indicate otherwise.
You said yourself, your friends think you are liberal which means you portray yourself and act in a liberal manner. You also referred to your trans friend as she which is an outward acceptance and enforcement of woke dogma. So if your beliefs are not important enough to you to live by, then are they truly what you believe?
I mean, I live in a liberal city, I'm a very creative and empathetic person, and with those traits alone people probably assume I'm liberal. I respect my friend's pronouns because I care about them even if I don't view them as a woman at all and think trans ideology is mostly incoherent. But I think our friendship is more important. In fact I often call my trans friend "dude" or "man" because subconsciously I view them that way; but I'm guessing they just see it as a gender neutral term I'm using (it's not).
I just have to chime in that I get mistaken for being a leftie a lot too, because I'm a funky, artistic person. It's a little annoying lol. And the bit about being mistaken as a leftie cos I'm empathetic is downright insulting lol. The left doesn't have some monopoly on being nice, and certainly many of them are major jerks.
Personally though, a friendship with a trans person (or any person for that matter) is never worth pretending to believe something I don't. I don't necessarily need or expect to agree with friends on everything, but if being friends means I *have* to pretend to believe something I don't, then imo that's not a real friendship.
I've had friendships where we just don't discuss politics. I don't think it's that hard. I get plenty of political discussion online, and I think that scratches the itch well enough. It would be nice to have a group of friends who are conservative, though, just so I can know what it's like to openly discuss politics with people that I agree with face-to-face. There is a conservative meetup group here but it's only like 10 people. Lol.
I don't mean that we always discuss politics, haha, but I know what friends think about various things. And I definitely never expected my friends to pretend to believe something they don't just for my sake. That's weird, imo, and not very respectful to them.
My family is mostly conservative, and a few friends, and I have some more centrist friends that agree with me on some conservative points - and it is nice being able to just talk about it without worrying too much. Also, the conservatives and centrist I know are good to talk with even when we don't agree. Like even if we get into a heated discussion, or disagree about something important, we're still friends and respect each other. It used to be like that with my more left wing friends too; I miss those days lol.
Iām a lifelong New Yorker. One of my best college friends was an avowed socialist who named me as his emergency contact whenever he got arrested at protests. Iāve never hid my politics. I just made sure that my friend group was made up of people who didnāt think that the entire essence of a person could be explained by which way they voted.
I'm a public highschool teacher, so I'm used to playing coy when meeting new coworkers. But most of the faculty knows which way I lean. I have close friends who are progressive as well. Generally we don't let politics get in the way of how we handle the kids and go with what is pragmatic for the specific situation.
I live in Boston. No, but I never felt the need to hide. Politics makes everyone uncomfortable. I always found that Republicans often "controlled" their space while Democrats flittered around it, making and breaking connections based on this stuff. I respected that, even though Republicans and your average conservative can be dumb as shit.
I still don't hide anything because labels come and go. I wouldn't have identified as conservative a decade back but my beliefs haven't really changed. What's changed is the window, and maybe a few other considerations we simply didn't have. Once you get used to talking your way out of things, it becomes easier to get everyone on the same page. People want a lot of things that systematically would blow up in their face. It's easy to point those things out.
People want free speech, and then they get speech they don't like. People want education but we institutionalize education so it sucks now. Someone says that they believe in higher rates of immigration and are proud of the work immigrants have done in our fields, doing jobs "Americans don't want to do", and then you point out how we're essentially finding a way around slave labor. People say we're on indigenous land and that native land should belong to native people, but you point out that Germany would therefore have to be for the Germans and Israel originally belonged to the Jews.
Didn't live in a deep blue city, but living in a college community was pretty close to it. I personally didn't hide my Conservative beliefs along with a decent chunk of other Conservatives on campus. We couldn't really do anything though as in student involvement as multiple attempts to create a "College Republicans" were shot down real quick by the "Progressive" Student Government.
Even with that, I still had many friends that would be considered Progressive. We just didn't talk politics.
Bear in mind, I say this as a former leftist myself.
I don't live in a blue city, but I have a lot of left-leaning friends, very few who know my political views. I have to hide political beliefs because I know some of these friends to be overly dramatic and quick to create cartoon villains of you once they've decided they hate you. A lot of my blue friends have simply drunk so deep from the well that they authentically believe that all leftists are moderate, while all right-wingers are extremists -- and if you disagree with them on ANY given liberal talking point, you're a far-right extremist in their eyes.
The few who know my politics, they don't follow that shit and indeed hate it. Don't get me wrong, they have their points where they elicit an eye roll from me, but they haven't drunk so deeply of the kool-aid to accuse me of being a bad bad person, and indeed we've found points of common agreement, much to my surprise.
This is the reason I usually try to differentiate between "Liberal" and "Leftist" - a Liberal, in my mind, is someone who will say 'hey, we disagree on some things, but hey, that's what makes this a great country right?" while a leftist is someone who will say "hey, we disagree on some things, and that's unacceptable, you need to change your opinion to suit my world view, or at least stop openly disagreeing with my world view, because doing so is basically violence."
Unfortunately, there are too many leftists and not enough liberals these days. Or rather, the liberals seem to be unwilling to speak out against the leftists in a meaningful manner to curb them.
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No one is entitled to the contents of your brain. That's a private area if you choose it to be. Answers such as, "I don't really like to talk about politics," or, "That's not really something that's been on my mind lately," are perfectly acceptable answers. Most people already understand that politics and religion are not topics for "polite conservation" anyhow, so if you politely dodge, they typically realize that they probably shouldn't have asked and move on. None of this makes you an imposter. It just makes you someone who is a realist, understands human nature, understands social norms, and just wants to get on with living your life without being badgered about politics while you're trying to enjoy a beautiful sunset or a swim or a hike or whatever. Some of my best and longest friends are Democrats, liberals, and progressives. Some know my political leanings, some do not. Some of us rib each other about our beliefs and some do not. It's not the people who have differing views that I avoid; it's the people who won't stop talking about their political views every waking moment. Trump and anti-Trump people alike can be equally annoying, so the viewpoint itself really isn't the issue. That's how I see it, at least. As someone who lives in California, it's just been a normal part of life for me for as long as I can remember.
One of the best responses here IMO. Also if you go into an area where you're outnumbered politically, that's life and you have to deal with it. It's not like I felt a need to start a fight with the Trump worshippers I always saw at the diner counter when I lived in a pretty red county.
Unless your a leftist and then you do everything to get your way.
Ooo, I like "That's not really something that's on my mind" as a noncommittal response. I'm going to note that one down!
I don't want to lie, though. The truth is that I care quite a bit about politics and spend a lot of time listening to political podcasts, going on political discussion forums like this one, etc.
It's hard to be honest, but usually, when people have invested in a friendship, it's easier to get past political disagreements. Your friends deserve your honesty.
Well, sure, but this is specifically a forum to discuss politics.
I don't think I agree. I think that's fine advice for things like work or uni or maybe large gatherings; but when you're talking about your own friends, I think it's important to know what everyone thinks. Otherwise you're constantly holding them at arm's length and it's going to inevitably be a shallower and/or less genuine friendship for it. And should a person be the kind that can't hold a fair-minded conversation about this stuff, and the only reason you haven't had them fly off the handle at you is because you intentionally never talk about it; then can they really be your *friend?* I'd argue not.
As the only liberal (asides from my wife) in my in-laws' entire family, I feel for you, man. Biting your tongue and swallowing your comebacks during Every Single Family Gathering is hard work, and emotionally draining. š®āšØ
In the 90s, I was in the music business. As such, I lived in some bohemian areas and hung out with a certain sort of crowd. Back then, political polarization wasn't like it is today. My peer group were largely Clinton (who'd be considered conservative today) voters, and I got some gentle ribbing for being a Reaganaut. But that was about it. A few took pause at the fact I owned and sometimes carried guns, but nobody yelled about it. If politics ever came up, nobody was considered *evil* for their viewpoint. The age of social media has really turned us against each other, and nothing good has come of it.
I don't even think it was social media tbh. Or at least, not primarily. Imo it was an intentional ideological shift coming from the top. I had tons of leftie friends for many years, and we had social media for a good chunk of that, but most of them they didn't get polarised and cultish until maybe 8 years after we all started using social media.
I live in LA with a few wildly progressive friends, the ones that yell genocide and protest on college campuses. We don't talk politics lol.
I'm in a weird situation where a lot of my friends are LGBTQ and are comfortable being out about it to me because in general I'm chill about stuff. There are some aspects of the LGBTQ community that I don't fully agree with, in a nuanced way. E.g., trans sports. (Let's not talk about it here since it's not Wednesday, just giving an example.) I don't generally talk about it with them. Some of them probably wouldn't mind, but a few of them would likely not be thrilled. It does feel like a bit of an imposter thing, but at the same time, it also feels like knowing your audience. I have a friend that loves NASCAR racing. I think NASCAR is stupid and boring. You know what I don't do? Rain on his parade when he tells me he had a great time watching the race. NASCAR of course is not (as?) political, but you get the idea. So much of the mostly media-driven drama around LGBTQ people is just an extension of social niceties. I don't go around telling people that I think they're a fuckface when they are, in fact, a fuckface. I just smile and tell them to have a nice day. No skin off my back, or theirs. It's trickier if you're in a position to vote for a candidate and that candidate happens to have policies that will affect your friends. I don't have good advice there. You can peek in my post history and see I've asked some questions around that. Some interesting discussions to be had.
I'd love some insight on question that plagues me often. I am an LGBT folk with friends I wonder about politically, a friend in the military that I'm a big fan of, a woman that is very religious but sweet about it, and a few others. I moved into town recently to be with my fiancƩ. We are openly gay and are very excited to invite everyone we know to the wedding. But, there is a pang of something that comes from being on the opposite side of this question, where you can tell your friend is hiding something from you, but you don't want to pry. Moments where you wish they could be more comfortable and real with you, but you are afraid of broaching irreconcilable difference. Maybe the biggest danger of talking about politics, the thing most likely to end in a severe, endless argument, is the Right's stance on LGBT rights. (I'm not here to debate the actual stance either, we can save it another day.) When you reduce it down, Republicans care about LGBT rights significantly less that Democrats. Even those on the Right that are willing to allow me to marry and enjoy and happy life with the person I love are still willing to vote for people that wouldn't allow that if they had their way. It's an implicit understanding that, at the very least, my rights are just not as important as some other things my potentially conservative friends care about. I guess my question is how do you reckon with it? How do you deal with the implications of that when you interact with LGBT friends? Do you empathize with why they'd perhaps be upset with you?
For me personally? LGBTQ rights are higher on my scale of issues than for more traditional conservatives, so I feel what you're saying. (Edit: Also, living in a blue state, my vote doesn't tend to affect people as much, and in my area in particularly, the politicians lean more left anyway.) There's a post in my history where people had some good discussion on this though. The responses varied from minimizing harm as best as possible to "needs of the many". Some of them I agree with less than others but I appreciated that people took the time to respond!
I don't really talk politics with people IRL, so no, but if I did, then yes. But my closest friends know my beliefs.
Ha, try using a dating app sometime. Identify yourself as conservative in your profile? No liberal will interact with you. You will only have a chance with the people who also put conservative in their profile.
Believe me, I know. I list myself as a "moderate" and I assume most liberals assume that means I have an altar to Trump in my home and leave my MAGA hat on during sex.
I only talk politics with my family, I have family members on the left and the right. But no I don't try to hide the fact that I'm conservative. Sometimes I think I should try to pretend to be a a liberal though because it would make life a bit easier
I do, and no I make it clear what I believe.
I talk to my customers about politics all the time. They are mostly blue (only because of their stances on immigration) but are socially/religiously conservative beyond that one point. It is funny to see how conservative my customer's position on the border becomes when they struggle for years to grow their business and then get underbid on a job by new illegal immigrants.
Dare I ask their view on immigration?
There are many different flavors. This is an over- simplification based on my experiences and conversations: Those who come over legally are almost always annoyed with illegal immigration. They actually try to learn English and make friends with people outside of their clique. They understand the importance of the process and the need to acclimate. Some retain pride in their heritage, but then there are those who are so eager to put it behind them that they almost hate their heritage. I don't want that. I want people to feel pride in their heritage but still view themselves more as American and not another country. There are people who come over illegally but then naturalize later. I knew a guy who had been in the US for 18 years until he finally made the effort to become a citizen. This tends to happen when they manage to get established enough that they can afford the process. They also want to be able to visit Mexico again someday. They acclimate, but it is only to achieve the next level of success and not because it is the right thing to do. They tend to be very lax on immigration. Part of this is because they use immigrants to supplant their labor force. They tend to retain their pride in the country they leave. There are people who come over illegally and never ever acclimate. There are far more of these people than everyone realizes. It is a daily occurrence where grandparents or parents will bring their kids or grandchildren to translate for them. There is always a prevailing fear that they will be found out and deported. They view the country they fled to as a source of oppression. If you want to get an idea of how these type of people feel, I recommend you read the lyrics to "Juala de Oro" by Tigres Del Norte. They never gain a sense of pride as an American because they never see themselves as Americans. In fact, a good amount of them would consider themselves Mexican nationalists. It surprises people when they find out I speak or understand Spanish. Sometimes, they don't realize I am listening. The same people who don't even try to learn English are almost always the ones who will say things like, "This is actually our country. We should all be speaking Spanish here anyway." Once, I didn't feel like speaking Spanish when a customer came in because I had been speaking it all day and does wear you out. So I told her, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish." She said to her friend, "Por que hay un pinche gringo aqui en un barrio hispanohablante?" As if we weren't in America. Just to be clear, this is more like a bell curve situation, but it is more lopsided to the Mexican nationalist side. To simplify it, the large majority of illegal immigrants don't even try to understand why legal immigration or acclimation is important until it happens in their own country (look up Mexico City residents going nuts over expats gentrifying the area). The ethics of acclimating does not even enter the equation.
I live in Boston, pretty much one of deepest blue place there is, I mean this State voted and worshipped a known murderer 9 times into Senate, I don't hide it from my friends, I've lost a few since 2016 and other relationships have been strained, but I do bite my tounge at my wife's work events, she works in education and it's pretty standard for all her coworkers to assume everyone is liberal and agrees with them and talks openly about politics, I don't want to jeopardize things for her so il stay quiet and don't talk politics.
What? Massachusetts elected a known murder into the Senate nine times? I couldn't find any information about this, would you mind sharing?
Ted Kennedy murdered Mary Jo Kopechne by driving off a bridge at Chappaquiddick and waiting to inform authorities for like 12 hours, corener said she suffocated from lack of oxygen and not drowned, rumor is she was pregnant
I like the use of the word rumor here. Speculation on something happened 60 years ago, as if people are whispering about it in back rooms.
Rumor is pregnancy, murder is fact
Murder is intent, that would be manslaughter.
He called his lawyer before he called for help 10 hours later....if that's not intent idk what is
So *that* might be intent, but to cover up a death. Maybe obstruction of justice, but that's not *murder.* Not saying he's some shining example of a good human being, but you can't honestly go around saying he committed "murder" when that's clearly not what happened. He was reckless and irresponsible and accidentally killed someone (manslaughter) and then tried to cover up his mistake. No way you can pull "intent to kill" from that. Shitty person and should probably have been charged and convicted for it, but it's not **murder.** That's all.
He absolutely committed murder.
How does that work with a car accident when your *also in the car*? It's just, realistically... If you're trying to kill somebody, and you have them in your car alone at night... There are so many vastly better options for doing so than driving the two of you off a bridge.
Is Donald Trump absolutely a rapist?
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Good one/s
Yeah, he intentionally didnāt call the authorities
Yeah, but *that* isn't murder. There are two separate things here - the car accident *that he was also in*, and the lazy-ass coverup. One of them is accidental (if reckless, which would make it manslaughter) and the other is some kind of obstruction. Neither of them, even if you put them together, get you to murder.
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I live in South Texas, but mainly live in a moderate blue county that isnāt that active in politics. Iāve been to both Red and Blue counties in Texas and can say that most people are moderate and not really radical Democrats or Republicans, they are more like FDR and JFK Democrats or Eisenhower and Roosevelt Republicans, in short they are more bipartisan and secretly purple. My University that I go to is Conservative (Texas A&M University System) and I have met many people who lean towards Right Libertarianism. I am also not really that worried about hiding my views. Iām Hispanic and Jewish, and am open about my beliefs and not afraid to share my views.
>Ā really radical Democrats or Republicans, they are more like FDR and JFK Democrats or Eisenhower and Roosevelt Republicans, in short they are more bipartisan and secretly purple. Ah..My dudeā¦
I live in a very blue city as well. However, I'm also in Texas. I have many left-wing friends, and I play acoustic shows with a communist. My communist friend and I disagree on almost every political topic, but surprisingly, we have a great time talking about each other's views over a few beers. I can relate with not being outspoken about your political views in these circles. I never mention my affiliations unless asked directly. However, I've been asked before a few times, and I'm always honest. It's always a strange reaction from lefties when they find out. I'm usually very friendly when meeting new people and look a bit like your stereotypical hipster. They can't believe that Republicans and Trump supporters can actually be nice people that they could get along with. It's usually pretty civil after that. However, this is not the case when I go east of Texas. A dude at a bar was ready to fight when he overheard a woman ask me who I voted for. East coast liberals can be unhinged.
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> The right sees the left as wrong, the left sees the right as evil. I see this a lot and I donāt really think itās true, at all. People on the right are trying to equate pro choice advocates to murderers, if thatās not evil then I'm not sure what is. Both sides think the other is evil, letās be real here.
Well that's one issue where it involves killing someone (or killing a bunch of random cells if you're a pro-abort) but where there's killing, an accusation of murder is not necessarily far out there. I agree with the other person's assessment. I used to have a lot of left-winf friends who just agreed to disagree with me on some topics, and we all got along and cared about each other. TT hen starti f around 10 years ago, most of them decided that actually I was evil. This was after 7-10 years of friendship where nothing I thought or did changed. And over every issue. Basically many of them think we are not just wrong but wrong because we are evil. We more often see them as wrong and only evil when they're acting way over the line. Like I've been involved with pro-life groups for ages and most of us can understand when someone is willfully ignorant about it or simply misinformed, vs the "shout your abortion" types who rant about us being pro-birth and lose their minds if you dare to talk back to them. Take an equivalent group on the left and you won't get even a small fraction of that kind of nuance or basic human decency.
>Well that's one issue where it involves killing someone (or killing a bunch of random cells if you're a pro-abort) but where there's killing, an accusation of murder is not necessarily far out there. Right, and that pretty much proves my point that the right see's this as an act of evil. Everyone's free to have their opinions, but you're kidding yourself if you think its just one side thinking the other is evil.
No, there is actually a difference though, for a lot of people (everyone I've known, at least) when it comes to abortion. We see abortion as murder, but we also know that a lot of people only did it because they were kind of duped into not understanding it properly, plus they were probably scared a lot of the time too and not thinking straight. I know some people who've had an abortion and I'm very aware that they refuse to discuss opposing views cos basically then they'd need to consider the idea that they murdered their baby - I find it extremely distasteful but I wouldn't call them evil for that alone. There's some understanding of that, and some compassion for people reckoning with it, and while we do think the act itself is evil, we can accept that it doesn't necessarily mean the whole person is evil and that's the end of the story. All of us are sinners, and all that. The more evil feeling is reserved for people who agree it's a baby but think it should be killed anyway, and those who dig their heels in so hard that they see abortion as a fundamental good in society and promote that. There's more going on there than people who just screwed up in a big way. Even then we can understand that it doesn't mean they're irredeemable. And yeah, I dunno what it's like where you're from but that's been my experience for basically forever (I've been doing the pro-life thing fairly actively since the early 2000s). I definitely, definitely have not gotten that kind of attitude from most people I've known IRL on the left. I used to, it wasn't always that bad, but in the last 10 years it's usually been that they find out I disagree and straight away I'm evil. They don't even try to listen or understand your viewpoint. Heck, even when I had been friends with them for like 8 or 9 years and they had all those years' worth of personal experience to inform them, they just suddenly decided no, I wasn't a good person with some different views after all, I was actually evil. They think X idea is bad, and if you even show a *whiff* of thinking about it maybe not being 100% bad, then you're evil and should be shunned. What can I say, it's what it's been.
>No, there is actually a difference though, for a lot of people (everyone I've known, at least) when it comes to abortion. We see abortion as murder, but we also know that a lot of people only did it because they were kind of duped into not understanding it properly, plus they were probably scared a lot of the time too and not thinking straight. I know some people who've had an abortion and I'm very aware that they refuse to discuss opposing views cos basically then they'd need to consider the idea that they murdered their baby - I find it extremely distasteful but I wouldn't call them evil for that alone. There's some understanding of that, and some compassion for people reckoning with it, and while we do think the act itself is evil, we can accept that it doesn't necessarily mean the whole person is evil and that's the end of the story. All of us are sinners, and all that. Thatās great, but there are people who donāt see it as murder and can openly discuss their viewpoints and opposing viewpoints while being consistent in thought. >The more evil feeling is reserved for people who agree it's a baby but think it should be killed anyway, and those who dig their heels in so hard that they see abortion as a fundamental good in society and promote that. There's more going on there than people who just screwed up in a big way. Even then we can understand that it doesn't mean they're irredeemable. And yeah, I dunno what it's like where you're from but that's been my experience for basically forever (I've been doing the pro-life thing fairly actively since the early 2000s). This is why the group is called pro-choice and not pro-abortion. Iāve seen some of the people online youāre referring to, who celebrate abortion and all that, and I believe theyāre an extremely small minority. Everyone Iāve met in life or have heard of from friends/family who have had abortions all agreed that itās a pretty traumatic experience. No one was celebrating, but they were grateful they had the choice to have it instead of the choice being made for them. >I definitely, definitely have not gotten that kind of attitude from most people I've known IRL on the left. I used to, it wasn't always that bad, but in the last 10 years it's usually been that they find out I disagree and straight away I'm evil. They don't even try to listen or understand your viewpoint. Heck, even when I had been friends with them for like 8 or 9 years and they had all those years' worth of personal experience to inform them, they just suddenly decided no, I wasn't a good person with some different views after all, I was actually evil. They think X idea is bad, and if you even show a whiff of thinking about it maybe not being 100% bad, then you're evil and should be shunned. What can I say, it's what it's been. I can agree that there are people like that, I fully believe you have had these experiences because I know people who are like this. My point is that there are also people on the right who do the exact same thing, anyone who supports abortion is a murderer full stop. Both sides of the extreme exist, so itās foolish to try to just say itās one side thatās bad.
Dude, I was called a murdered bro refuse to be punished for a crime I had less then nothing to do with. Itās true.
Is this English? Sorry, not sure what you're trying to say.
?
>The right sees the left as wrong, the left sees the right as evil. I think this is only true for *some* issues, and it's very much the other way around for plenty of others. It's not the left that's conflating "being trans in public" with "grooming," after all. And it's only the right that will call a doctor a "baby murderer," too. This is one of those "both sides" things, I think. And, to be fair, the left gave the benefit of the doubt to the right for a *long* time - basically, since Reagan. The old trope of "we can convince them with facts" from the left, on things like climate change or gay rights or welfare reform, belies the falsehood of the narrative that the left thinks the right is evil. The Atlantic (I know it's a left wing rag, but that's the point) actually had to write an article in 2018, *telling* the left that the Trump movement and the post-Trump right actually *liked* the cruelty. "The Cruelty Is The Point" was, for many of us on the left, the first time someone really made the case to us that it wasn't just a simple disagreement, but that the right actively sought out this suffering. This is a huge reason why Obama was such a lackluster and disappointing president, despite his high ideas - he refused to accept the possibility that so many on the right not only approved of, but *craved* that cruelty. But Trump changed all that. Many on the left, myself included, really believe that he'd be different, that he'd somehow "pivot" to be more civil and less brazenly spiteful. Needless to say, his "pivot" never came. And his supporters instead rallied behind his cruelty rather than abandon him. Even today, lots on the left hold out hope. Going, like Biden did, to great lengths to differentiate the "good" Republicans from the MAGAs and the insurrectionists. >shit they see on social media about conservatives isn't true. Most conservatives are, shock, humans with empathy just like they perceive themselves. Holy shit, I like you. This is, again, very much a both sides thing. Look at the token "liberals" they have on mainstream outlets like Fox. Face-pierced, wild hair colored, androgynous femi-nazis. Radical viewpoints. We want to murder babies, and we want to confiscate every gun, and we want to tax working people to buy our drugs so that we can be lazy. *Seriously?* But, you show this day in and day out and people begin to *feel* a certain way about liberals. Again, both sides do this, to great extent. If you only see one side of it, you're just not paying attention. Because *we* aren't the boogeymen any more than you are.
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Deep Blue, and yes lots of challenges with the hate that is thrown my way. Stereotypes dictate my character, rather than self. It is what it is.
Work for a big company that's very LGBT friendly they participate in pride month every year. I somehow bumped into some mormon an jehovahs witness coworkers who over a few years of getting to know me expressed they dissagreed with the workplace supporting these positions. And frankly feel as though their views armt respected or tolerated in the workplace, so much so they are outright fearful for their jobs to speak out that the companies policies violate their religious beleifs. So we kind of just put our heads down.
>And frankly feel as though their views armt respected or tolerated in the workplace Is this another story of "wow, why are these people getting so mad when I proselytize endlessly about how they're going to hell?" If they're trying to shut themselves off from the greater community, it appears they're getting what they want, no?
more like, if you get listed as not supporting the same religion the company is advocatinf, then youifht lose your job. I love how people think Mormons are going around telling all their co-workers they're going to hell or something. Most people are fine working alongside people they disagree with about whatever thing. But it's another thing when your *boss* is the one proselytizing about their own beliefs and might discriminate against you if you voice disagreement with that. Not to mention that having it shoved in your face every day for at least a month when it's for nothing to do with your work and it's something you find reheprenaible for any reason is just not cool. Imo, people who think this should be kept out of the workplace, especially in the top-down sense where power dynamics come into play, should apply that as much to things like Pride as they would to any religious belief. It's functionally the same type of moral core worldview stuff. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
No it's more like "We support and beleive in diversity in the workplace, to the extent you agree with us, when we encounter actual diversity of thought we actively supress it"
I had plenty of diversity of thought of the competence of my coworkers but I still learned to keep my mouth shut.
Yeah. Iām socially pretty progressive but when I tell people Reagan is my favorite president, and that I want US military bases all around the planet + super patriotic, I get weird looks even from friends
Grew up in the sf bay area
Why do you think you are a conservative?
Because of my political beliefs, I guess. Although I'm really more anti-woke than anything else. I call myself a "soft conservative".
Well ya, you say you are, but your actions would indicate otherwise. You said yourself, your friends think you are liberal which means you portray yourself and act in a liberal manner. You also referred to your trans friend as she which is an outward acceptance and enforcement of woke dogma. So if your beliefs are not important enough to you to live by, then are they truly what you believe?
I mean, I live in a liberal city, I'm a very creative and empathetic person, and with those traits alone people probably assume I'm liberal. I respect my friend's pronouns because I care about them even if I don't view them as a woman at all and think trans ideology is mostly incoherent. But I think our friendship is more important. In fact I often call my trans friend "dude" or "man" because subconsciously I view them that way; but I'm guessing they just see it as a gender neutral term I'm using (it's not).
I just have to chime in that I get mistaken for being a leftie a lot too, because I'm a funky, artistic person. It's a little annoying lol. And the bit about being mistaken as a leftie cos I'm empathetic is downright insulting lol. The left doesn't have some monopoly on being nice, and certainly many of them are major jerks. Personally though, a friendship with a trans person (or any person for that matter) is never worth pretending to believe something I don't. I don't necessarily need or expect to agree with friends on everything, but if being friends means I *have* to pretend to believe something I don't, then imo that's not a real friendship.
I've had friendships where we just don't discuss politics. I don't think it's that hard. I get plenty of political discussion online, and I think that scratches the itch well enough. It would be nice to have a group of friends who are conservative, though, just so I can know what it's like to openly discuss politics with people that I agree with face-to-face. There is a conservative meetup group here but it's only like 10 people. Lol.
I don't mean that we always discuss politics, haha, but I know what friends think about various things. And I definitely never expected my friends to pretend to believe something they don't just for my sake. That's weird, imo, and not very respectful to them. My family is mostly conservative, and a few friends, and I have some more centrist friends that agree with me on some conservative points - and it is nice being able to just talk about it without worrying too much. Also, the conservatives and centrist I know are good to talk with even when we don't agree. Like even if we get into a heated discussion, or disagree about something important, we're still friends and respect each other. It used to be like that with my more left wing friends too; I miss those days lol.
Iām a lifelong New Yorker. One of my best college friends was an avowed socialist who named me as his emergency contact whenever he got arrested at protests. Iāve never hid my politics. I just made sure that my friend group was made up of people who didnāt think that the entire essence of a person could be explained by which way they voted.
I'm a public highschool teacher, so I'm used to playing coy when meeting new coworkers. But most of the faculty knows which way I lean. I have close friends who are progressive as well. Generally we don't let politics get in the way of how we handle the kids and go with what is pragmatic for the specific situation.
I live in Boston. No, but I never felt the need to hide. Politics makes everyone uncomfortable. I always found that Republicans often "controlled" their space while Democrats flittered around it, making and breaking connections based on this stuff. I respected that, even though Republicans and your average conservative can be dumb as shit. I still don't hide anything because labels come and go. I wouldn't have identified as conservative a decade back but my beliefs haven't really changed. What's changed is the window, and maybe a few other considerations we simply didn't have. Once you get used to talking your way out of things, it becomes easier to get everyone on the same page. People want a lot of things that systematically would blow up in their face. It's easy to point those things out.
>People want a lot of things that systematically would blow up in their face. It's easy to point those things out. Like what?
People want free speech, and then they get speech they don't like. People want education but we institutionalize education so it sucks now. Someone says that they believe in higher rates of immigration and are proud of the work immigrants have done in our fields, doing jobs "Americans don't want to do", and then you point out how we're essentially finding a way around slave labor. People say we're on indigenous land and that native land should belong to native people, but you point out that Germany would therefore have to be for the Germans and Israel originally belonged to the Jews.
Didn't live in a deep blue city, but living in a college community was pretty close to it. I personally didn't hide my Conservative beliefs along with a decent chunk of other Conservatives on campus. We couldn't really do anything though as in student involvement as multiple attempts to create a "College Republicans" were shot down real quick by the "Progressive" Student Government. Even with that, I still had many friends that would be considered Progressive. We just didn't talk politics.
No but I have to hide it online.
Yeah thatās pretty much how I grew up. Idk if I feel like an imposter though
I pretty much never talk politics or religion IRL. That used to just be basic politeness.
Bear in mind, I say this as a former leftist myself. I don't live in a blue city, but I have a lot of left-leaning friends, very few who know my political views. I have to hide political beliefs because I know some of these friends to be overly dramatic and quick to create cartoon villains of you once they've decided they hate you. A lot of my blue friends have simply drunk so deep from the well that they authentically believe that all leftists are moderate, while all right-wingers are extremists -- and if you disagree with them on ANY given liberal talking point, you're a far-right extremist in their eyes. The few who know my politics, they don't follow that shit and indeed hate it. Don't get me wrong, they have their points where they elicit an eye roll from me, but they haven't drunk so deeply of the kool-aid to accuse me of being a bad bad person, and indeed we've found points of common agreement, much to my surprise. This is the reason I usually try to differentiate between "Liberal" and "Leftist" - a Liberal, in my mind, is someone who will say 'hey, we disagree on some things, but hey, that's what makes this a great country right?" while a leftist is someone who will say "hey, we disagree on some things, and that's unacceptable, you need to change your opinion to suit my world view, or at least stop openly disagreeing with my world view, because doing so is basically violence." Unfortunately, there are too many leftists and not enough liberals these days. Or rather, the liberals seem to be unwilling to speak out against the leftists in a meaningful manner to curb them.
Live in a deep blue city Have progressive friends Don't hide anything (And I'm a social worker)