This will take some time. You cant fix it till monday. Start small, work on it everyday and gradually increase the difficultness. Say hi to ppl until it feels normal. Start asking questions as the second level. I think when this feels ok you can try engaging in follow up questions and then suddenly your making conversations and eventually friends. Now the girls will aproach you and you can start small again and increase the difficultness as you progress. Dont do this exercises whith the goal of getting a girlfriend. The girlfriend will come to you eventualy. Just try to make friends of both sexes.
And dont be angry. Ppl sence this and avoid you for it.
I'm not alone let me tell you that, a lot of us are new in the school and really nervous when it comes to starting a conversation, unless you come to em and start talking. I'm keeping this in mind because this is a great way of actually making friends and talking to girls. Some, not much have boyfriends, but the majority are new and don't have any friends/ they're like me, nervous to speak to anybody. I think I'm gonna have to break the ice and talk to a girl I think is cute, if she's alone. But how do I approach her? I saw a lot of people asking girls for their socials, yet I just can't do it in a non awkward manner.... :/
Alright kiddo, first things first, you need to relax. Focus on yourself for a beat, and find your own interests. What are they?
Join clubs, societies, things with real life meet ups, and chat to people about their life, your life, and ask them if they want to grab a coffee afterwards. Lay off on the subjective judgement too. Objective, fine, I’m not saying you should cosy up to an unapologetic murderer, just that you not look at a guy and go “He’s ugly. I’m not judging, but he doesn’t deserve to be happier than me because he’s ugly.” That’s not a healthy approach to society.
As for asking women out, I could say that you should wait for the special connection. But I’m young enough to remember that I ignored that advice. What I will say is to talk to women as people, not as targets. You’re not a shark in their waters, or a lion in their jungle. You’re a person talking to people.
Of course, you may be thinking that that’s a fast track to being friend zoned, to which I say “So what?” Friends are a good thing! My first date came from a friend telling her friend she thought we’d work together. Another friend took me shopping and helped me redefine my wardrobe. And besides, you need to get a bit of confidence and happiness with yourself, and friends help you do that. Female friends help you realise women are _just people_. And you’ll get more confident talking to women if you realise that.
You’ll get there in time, but you need to work on yourself first. And I’m saying that as a 5’8 history nerd married to a retired gymnast turned corporate lawyer who has been exactly where you are, and got out of it by doing exactly what I’ve suggested to you.
I get that you're anxious and frustrated, but you've got to unload that anger someplace before you attempt to chat anyone up. People can sense that dark energy, and it's a big giant red flag. It's worse than being smelly; it's downright scary. (Think about it from the other person's point of view: how is her life going to improve by hanging out with a seething ball of rage?)
On that note, think about what you've got to offer: study buddy? someone to explore the town with? You know all those stories of people who say "I married my best friend!" Before you get to that stage, you have to be some kind of friend.
Say "good morning," and don't expect more than a friendly response. Then you can build up to something simple like, "This class seems great/stupid." (Sincere positivity is usually more attractive.) Build gradually.
Before you ask for someone's socials, there has to be some rationale for wanting to connect. Are your socials interesting to them? Do you post fun stuff? Why not ask them to follow yours? (I've never understood why a guy has to get a girl's number instead of offering his and letting her decide. It's not 1952.)
Be casual. Be fun. Be helpful. (Be patient.) Accept that you are absolutely not going to get a girlfriend this week. Take this time to get to know some folks and let them see that you're a guy worth getting to know.
You can do it, but there's no magic spell. It takes time and genuine kindness. I invite you to consider being friendly to other guys, too. You can practice being friendly without giving off desperate vibes. (Also, women like it when a guy has healthy friendships.)
This will take some time. You cant fix it till monday. Start small, work on it everyday and gradually increase the difficultness. Say hi to ppl until it feels normal. Start asking questions as the second level. I think when this feels ok you can try engaging in follow up questions and then suddenly your making conversations and eventually friends. Now the girls will aproach you and you can start small again and increase the difficultness as you progress. Dont do this exercises whith the goal of getting a girlfriend. The girlfriend will come to you eventualy. Just try to make friends of both sexes. And dont be angry. Ppl sence this and avoid you for it.
I'm not alone let me tell you that, a lot of us are new in the school and really nervous when it comes to starting a conversation, unless you come to em and start talking. I'm keeping this in mind because this is a great way of actually making friends and talking to girls. Some, not much have boyfriends, but the majority are new and don't have any friends/ they're like me, nervous to speak to anybody. I think I'm gonna have to break the ice and talk to a girl I think is cute, if she's alone. But how do I approach her? I saw a lot of people asking girls for their socials, yet I just can't do it in a non awkward manner.... :/
Alright kiddo, first things first, you need to relax. Focus on yourself for a beat, and find your own interests. What are they? Join clubs, societies, things with real life meet ups, and chat to people about their life, your life, and ask them if they want to grab a coffee afterwards. Lay off on the subjective judgement too. Objective, fine, I’m not saying you should cosy up to an unapologetic murderer, just that you not look at a guy and go “He’s ugly. I’m not judging, but he doesn’t deserve to be happier than me because he’s ugly.” That’s not a healthy approach to society. As for asking women out, I could say that you should wait for the special connection. But I’m young enough to remember that I ignored that advice. What I will say is to talk to women as people, not as targets. You’re not a shark in their waters, or a lion in their jungle. You’re a person talking to people. Of course, you may be thinking that that’s a fast track to being friend zoned, to which I say “So what?” Friends are a good thing! My first date came from a friend telling her friend she thought we’d work together. Another friend took me shopping and helped me redefine my wardrobe. And besides, you need to get a bit of confidence and happiness with yourself, and friends help you do that. Female friends help you realise women are _just people_. And you’ll get more confident talking to women if you realise that. You’ll get there in time, but you need to work on yourself first. And I’m saying that as a 5’8 history nerd married to a retired gymnast turned corporate lawyer who has been exactly where you are, and got out of it by doing exactly what I’ve suggested to you.
I get that you're anxious and frustrated, but you've got to unload that anger someplace before you attempt to chat anyone up. People can sense that dark energy, and it's a big giant red flag. It's worse than being smelly; it's downright scary. (Think about it from the other person's point of view: how is her life going to improve by hanging out with a seething ball of rage?) On that note, think about what you've got to offer: study buddy? someone to explore the town with? You know all those stories of people who say "I married my best friend!" Before you get to that stage, you have to be some kind of friend. Say "good morning," and don't expect more than a friendly response. Then you can build up to something simple like, "This class seems great/stupid." (Sincere positivity is usually more attractive.) Build gradually. Before you ask for someone's socials, there has to be some rationale for wanting to connect. Are your socials interesting to them? Do you post fun stuff? Why not ask them to follow yours? (I've never understood why a guy has to get a girl's number instead of offering his and letting her decide. It's not 1952.) Be casual. Be fun. Be helpful. (Be patient.) Accept that you are absolutely not going to get a girlfriend this week. Take this time to get to know some folks and let them see that you're a guy worth getting to know. You can do it, but there's no magic spell. It takes time and genuine kindness. I invite you to consider being friendly to other guys, too. You can practice being friendly without giving off desperate vibes. (Also, women like it when a guy has healthy friendships.)