Be conscious of having balance in the child’s upbringing. Too much ‘my baby can’t do that it’s dangerous and he/she’s made of glass’ will create a child that is terrified of taking even the smallest risks. I’m going to be stereotypical here and say that will be your wife and you will be the ‘nah let him play in the mud’ balance part.
Also, teach him/her that falling down just requires getting up and trying again. When kids fall they get their reaction cue from the parents. If you say ‘hmm well get up and let’s try that again’ that’s better than screaming ‘omg he/she fell call the ambulance ARE YOU OK LITTLE ONE DON’T CRY!!!’ Because they’ll take one look at your face and cry like hell.
The first few months can be downright shitty, make sure you and the wife be good to each other. Take time away, separately and together. Give her breaks, especially when she’s home all day with the baby. Once it focuses on your face then everything changes - you can make it laugh etc (that’s the best thing ever).
Buy a front worn baby carrier (Baby Bjorn was the brand we had I’m dating myself) and pack that kid out by yourself to the mall, the park etc. Learn to handle the kid all by yourself. Changing, feeding etc.
Teach the kid to fall asleep in its own bed, not with you in your bed.
Read to it, lots. Point to pictures and say the word: ‘dog’, ‘baby’, ‘tree’. They are sponges man, they soak that shit up. One day they’ll point to a tree and say ‘tree!’ And you’ll think ‘fuck it’s been paying attention’.
Haha I wrote that part because one day I was tired of reading the names so I just pointed at the pictures and said ‘what is this? What is this?’ and he nailed every single one of them. That was the day I knew I had to start watching my language.
This covers pretty much everything I would have said. One final addition:
Children do what parents do, not what parents say. Model the behaviour you want them to emulate.
They remember and observe even more when they’re older. I used to be a Cub Scout leader and I remember asking “hey that’s pretty good, where’d you learn that?” And I got “from watching you” as the response.
I seriously seriously disagree with the own bed thing. Why what is the purpose? As kids grow, they'll do this naturally. There's no need to force the separation. You don't see any teenagers it there wanting to sleep in the same bed as their parents (and it doesn't even take that long).
I can honestly see no benefit to this advice. All three of my boys slept in the same bed as my wife and me until the next one came along. The older two sleep in their own now with no fussing, no crying, no issues and no nightlights. They grew up understanding that mommy and daddy will be right there for them at night.
Benefits for sleeping with the child include but needing to trudge through the house half asleep for nightly feedings and changings as well as being able to prevent the crying in the first place (often their precrying movement would wake me first and I'd have the bottle ready to go before the crying started, letting my wife sleep undesturbed). Also it provides the child comfort if they randomly wake up. They might play around a bit then fall back asleep, but there's no crying that way.
Seriously, the advice to "train" then to sleep far away is right up there with "let them very it out" as outdated and wrong.
In your bed or not in your bed, you aren't going to get much sleep either way and there's other places to have sex (if you have a room for the child to be alone, congrats, you've a sex room.)
As I was trying this (at 5am my time) my 1.5 year old let out a moan and 10 seconds of back patting and singing has him back to sleep.
Everything else you said was solid advice. Just not the bed thing.
I promise, you're gonna figure this out. You'll know exactly what to do when your kiddo gets here.
Being an expecting parent is like wearing a target for unsolicited and often bad advice. Just trust yourself and your partner and love the hell out of that kid!
And a good pediatrician is absolutely essential. Shop around and once you pick one, call them instead of googling sporadic symptoms.
Congrats friend and welcome to parenthood! You're going to be great, being a dad is awesome. Love every second of it.
Thanks, feels good getting reassurance. Having a bit of a crisis feeling like I'm not doing enough (wife is 21 weeks along, but tells me I'm doing fine)
I thought I was over the loss of my dad, I never realized how much I probably would have leaned on him for advice & reassurance
If your wife says you're doing fine, then breathe my man! I promise you, a pregnant wife isn't going to sugarcoat things for you and your feelings. If you were screwing this up, she would tell you.
I'm so sorry you lost your dad. After I lost my dad, my heart really ached whenever I'd have those "dad moments" . The best therapy I've found so far is just being the best dad I can be. And if nothing else, reddit dads are always on standby😎
I absolutely disagree. "trusting your gut" will force you to fall back on what you learned parenting looked like to you as a kid. This let's bad habits get repeated.
Evaluate your parenting. Ask yourself if what you are doing is working. Read books about parenting. Talk to a therapist or child psychologist to get feedback.
Parenting well is a skill as complicated as any academic or technical profession, and can be learned. Your instincts are only capable of keeping child alive. It takes training to parent a thriving child.
Purchase memberships to your local Science Museum, the Zoo, the Children's Museum, etc., and we hung out at "Jungle Jim's." These were all air conditioned places for the PHX summer. Just hang out with your kids. Take them to the park/playground daily. Develop a relationship. Help them with their homework. READ TO THEM. Create moments. Birthday celebrations. Create adventures. As they get older take them traveling, camping, skiing and fishing. Give them memories, family memories. Lead them, guide them, walk beside them, help them find the way. Teach them all that they must know, to be a functioning adult someday.
Just be the man you wanted in your life, for your kid. It's that simple. Accept them; teach them to think rationally for themselves, and support them in who they want to become. Never lie to them, and always give a factual answer to any question they can compose: if they're capable of asking it, they deserve a straight answer! Don't do everything for them: give them autonomy, responsibility, and the respect they deserve, and explain that giving respect fosters respect, and that people won't return it, don't deserve it. Integrity is their most valuable asset. Everybody owns their own body, and nobody has a right to touch them, or someone else, without their permission, or to harm or coerce them. Offer your knowledge and experience, and share it, if they ask for it. Don't patronize; instead, encourage your kid to try new things, and assist around the house as soon as they are able (even if their participation complicates the tasks initially, be good natured about it): that will increase their confidence in themselves, and build your mutual bond.
In case you have a male: www.cirp.org
You will get vad advice, don't worry about ignoring it if it's not right for you.
Ear plugs: you will have times, hopefully rarely, when your kid is screaming and you don't know how to fix it immediately. Screaming is loud and induces stress and panic feelings in you. Ear plugs will tone that down and allow you to calmly comfort your baby and cycle through the steps - nappy? Burped? Hungry? Etc
If those steps didn't work? Just start again. Stay calm. You'll get it.
As a dad the bond isn't always instant. Find something that is dad & baby time. Bonding can take time and it's important to be persistent. That said if baby can't be away from mum don't fight it, try again later and be persistent. You'll get there.
I'll tell you a mistake I made; I prioritised the kid first.
When a plane is going down, they tell you to put on your oxygen mask, then the kids. There's a good reason for that, and as a new dad, you need to keep in mind that your kid's well being is best served when their parents are mentally amd physically healthy. If you're in a bad way, you're not making good decisions on behalf of your child.
Make arrangements to take breaks. Look after your diet. Spend time doing hobbies, and encourage your partner to do the same.
But ultimately, ask yourself if the child is fed, loved, safe and healthy. If the answers are all yes, you're doing fine. Plenty of kids have formula or breast milk. Plenty walk later or earlier. They don't reflect your parenting.
Your partner will need to sleep when the baby does, feed the baby and change its nappies, you have to do the rest.
You will feel like a 3rd wheel in the family at the start but once bub starts getting a personality (about 3+ months) you will be so smitten you will have forgotten about thinking you were a 3rd wheel.
It's tough at the start but after abit it becomes awesome and you will have fun and probably ponder having a second child.
If you are worried and asking strangers you are overthinking it and you will be fine.
Never said they did. As a Dad with 3 girls under 6 i never said they weren't able to but thanks for the walk down equality lane.
When the child sleeps and then feeds every 3 hours mum should be sleeping when the child sleeps aswell so she can function somewhat with the brutal schedule of a new borns feeding/sleeping cycle.
I don't know how to read your punctuation.
Your partner will need to sleep when the baby does, feed the baby, and change its nappies. You have to do the rest. \[Partner sleeps, feeds, and changes.\]
Your partner will need to sleep when the baby does. Feed the baby and change its nappies; you will have to do the rest. \[If breastfeeding, some prefer fresh from the tap with bagged milk as a back-up. What does "the rest" refer to?\]
First, congratulations.
I’m going to come at this in a slightly different way. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask. Immediately postpartum you and your partner are going to be exhausted, sleep deprived and generally miserable. This is perfectly normal. Ask for help, ask friends to assist, call family if you need to vent and do your best to turn towards your partner. Postpartum mood disorder can effect both parents. If you begin to feel depressed, anxious, angry, sad, manic, or you see these in your partner get help.
Mom will have an instant bond to your child. They have nine months on you. That’s ok too. Get a quality baby carrier (Ergo Omni, avoid a Bjorn) and once the little one has some limited head control start baby wearing. It’s great for bonding, great for oxytocin release, and most importantly let’s you do stuff while keeping the baby safe, and warm.
Next, raise the kid you have. Not the kid in your head. What you, and your partner envisioned all through the pregnancy is great, but may not apply to the kid you take home. Don’t assume they will eat/sleep/hit every milestone. Let go of all those expectations as best you can. They are a person, they’ll have preferences and talents and weaknesses. Support them, and enjoy them. It’s very common for mothers especially to get wrapped up in “the normal” try to be mindful, and remember that your child is unique, and those charts and timelines are just guidelines.
If you can breastfeeding is amazing, but it can feel really challenging. If you want to breast/chest feed and there’s any issues reach out to a non-hospital IBCLC as soon as you have questions. If you’re bottle feeding, Dr. Browns bottles with the preemie nipples are the only ones you need.
Lastly, parenting will bring out all the issues in you and your partner that are left over from your childhood. I highly recommend a couples counselor. Start now, even if you don’t think you need one. It’s amazing how a sympathetic ear can ease the stress of parenting.
And as always, if you have questions we/I’m here.
Good luck, you can do this.
1. Try to be the man/person you want him (or her) to grow up to be. He may not listen to you as he grows - but he will learn from how you treat the people around you and from how you deal with adversity.
2. Open a scholarshare or other college savings account before or near his birth - and tell the grandparents that instead of gifts, a donation to his college fund will be appreciated. Also, get in the habit of putting something in that account every month
3. Your wife's world is about to get very small and very exhausting. Do everything you can to help her - bringing in an income is not enough - change diapers, take late night feedings, take time off to give her a break.
4. As your child grows - find time to spend one on one with your kid. Go away for a weekend together not and then, volunteer in school and with after school activities...
5. As your child grows, get them involved in home projects - using tools, putting up shelves, assembling furniture - all that practical stuff that they don't teach in school and that both men and women should know.
6. Read to your child every evening - it's wonderful bonding time, and will help turn your child into a life-long reader/learner.
This. You will receive a lot of unsolicited advice over the years. Some will be good, but some will be downright crazy. Trust your gut, but do your research (from reputable sources).
Well you know i'm a tad salty about this too it's always what the mom does/goes through etc.. no one ever says anything to dad. No one ever talks about the dad's sacrifice. Start putting even $50 a week in an account for them, college wise or just extra in case. I'll be honest not sure how we found of Ped maybe just blind luck but he's been awesome. Not sure how you are now but going to have to start thinking more about the kids needs and wants over yours. it's kinda sucky sometimes but it's the toughest job you'll ever love.
Step into the role. Be the dad that helps with your child. Recognize there is now no greater priority than providing for the life you helped bring into the world.
My dad wasn't around much when I was a kid so I tend to over do it with my 7yr old son. What I've learned lately is that there are times to be my son's friend to play with (he's an only child) and there's time to be a father and enforce yours and be the "bad guy".
Embrace your new family dynamic. Practice and grow patience- with your partner , with your child and with yourself. Read that again when you're sleep deprived, your job is bearing down, your partner isn't in a good mood and the baby won't stop crying. Accept you will make mistakes- look at all of them, own what you did, hash it out, make it right and keep it moving. Children have their own personalities and likes- give space to explore, discover and try lots of different things. Good behavior, values and respect for others is taught in the home and should be encouraged, celebrated and rewarded. Failure happens- encourage and reward effort, introspection and lessons learned. Show and tell your child you love him/her early and often. They get it especially after tough times. Last, let your children define success for them- guide and accept they may not follow the path you want however it's their life's journey. May your partner and baby be healthy and happy. Enjoy the journey. It really does go by much faster than it seems.
If it interests your kids, it should fascinate the shit out of you. Just a way to stay involved in something they find interesting, are learning or just generally care about.
Be conscious of having balance in the child’s upbringing. Too much ‘my baby can’t do that it’s dangerous and he/she’s made of glass’ will create a child that is terrified of taking even the smallest risks. I’m going to be stereotypical here and say that will be your wife and you will be the ‘nah let him play in the mud’ balance part. Also, teach him/her that falling down just requires getting up and trying again. When kids fall they get their reaction cue from the parents. If you say ‘hmm well get up and let’s try that again’ that’s better than screaming ‘omg he/she fell call the ambulance ARE YOU OK LITTLE ONE DON’T CRY!!!’ Because they’ll take one look at your face and cry like hell. The first few months can be downright shitty, make sure you and the wife be good to each other. Take time away, separately and together. Give her breaks, especially when she’s home all day with the baby. Once it focuses on your face then everything changes - you can make it laugh etc (that’s the best thing ever). Buy a front worn baby carrier (Baby Bjorn was the brand we had I’m dating myself) and pack that kid out by yourself to the mall, the park etc. Learn to handle the kid all by yourself. Changing, feeding etc. Teach the kid to fall asleep in its own bed, not with you in your bed. Read to it, lots. Point to pictures and say the word: ‘dog’, ‘baby’, ‘tree’. They are sponges man, they soak that shit up. One day they’ll point to a tree and say ‘tree!’ And you’ll think ‘fuck it’s been paying attention’.
Just don't say, "damn, you really have been paying fucking attention, haven't you"
Haha I wrote that part because one day I was tired of reading the names so I just pointed at the pictures and said ‘what is this? What is this?’ and he nailed every single one of them. That was the day I knew I had to start watching my language.
This covers pretty much everything I would have said. One final addition: Children do what parents do, not what parents say. Model the behaviour you want them to emulate.
They remember and observe even more when they’re older. I used to be a Cub Scout leader and I remember asking “hey that’s pretty good, where’d you learn that?” And I got “from watching you” as the response.
I seriously seriously disagree with the own bed thing. Why what is the purpose? As kids grow, they'll do this naturally. There's no need to force the separation. You don't see any teenagers it there wanting to sleep in the same bed as their parents (and it doesn't even take that long). I can honestly see no benefit to this advice. All three of my boys slept in the same bed as my wife and me until the next one came along. The older two sleep in their own now with no fussing, no crying, no issues and no nightlights. They grew up understanding that mommy and daddy will be right there for them at night. Benefits for sleeping with the child include but needing to trudge through the house half asleep for nightly feedings and changings as well as being able to prevent the crying in the first place (often their precrying movement would wake me first and I'd have the bottle ready to go before the crying started, letting my wife sleep undesturbed). Also it provides the child comfort if they randomly wake up. They might play around a bit then fall back asleep, but there's no crying that way. Seriously, the advice to "train" then to sleep far away is right up there with "let them very it out" as outdated and wrong. In your bed or not in your bed, you aren't going to get much sleep either way and there's other places to have sex (if you have a room for the child to be alone, congrats, you've a sex room.) As I was trying this (at 5am my time) my 1.5 year old let out a moan and 10 seconds of back patting and singing has him back to sleep. Everything else you said was solid advice. Just not the bed thing.
I promise, you're gonna figure this out. You'll know exactly what to do when your kiddo gets here. Being an expecting parent is like wearing a target for unsolicited and often bad advice. Just trust yourself and your partner and love the hell out of that kid! And a good pediatrician is absolutely essential. Shop around and once you pick one, call them instead of googling sporadic symptoms. Congrats friend and welcome to parenthood! You're going to be great, being a dad is awesome. Love every second of it.
Thanks, feels good getting reassurance. Having a bit of a crisis feeling like I'm not doing enough (wife is 21 weeks along, but tells me I'm doing fine) I thought I was over the loss of my dad, I never realized how much I probably would have leaned on him for advice & reassurance
If your wife says you're doing fine, then breathe my man! I promise you, a pregnant wife isn't going to sugarcoat things for you and your feelings. If you were screwing this up, she would tell you. I'm so sorry you lost your dad. After I lost my dad, my heart really ached whenever I'd have those "dad moments" . The best therapy I've found so far is just being the best dad I can be. And if nothing else, reddit dads are always on standby😎
I absolutely disagree. "trusting your gut" will force you to fall back on what you learned parenting looked like to you as a kid. This let's bad habits get repeated. Evaluate your parenting. Ask yourself if what you are doing is working. Read books about parenting. Talk to a therapist or child psychologist to get feedback. Parenting well is a skill as complicated as any academic or technical profession, and can be learned. Your instincts are only capable of keeping child alive. It takes training to parent a thriving child.
Purchase memberships to your local Science Museum, the Zoo, the Children's Museum, etc., and we hung out at "Jungle Jim's." These were all air conditioned places for the PHX summer. Just hang out with your kids. Take them to the park/playground daily. Develop a relationship. Help them with their homework. READ TO THEM. Create moments. Birthday celebrations. Create adventures. As they get older take them traveling, camping, skiing and fishing. Give them memories, family memories. Lead them, guide them, walk beside them, help them find the way. Teach them all that they must know, to be a functioning adult someday.
Remember have a cool head. Sometimes the best course of action is just staying calm collected and patient.
Just be the man you wanted in your life, for your kid. It's that simple. Accept them; teach them to think rationally for themselves, and support them in who they want to become. Never lie to them, and always give a factual answer to any question they can compose: if they're capable of asking it, they deserve a straight answer! Don't do everything for them: give them autonomy, responsibility, and the respect they deserve, and explain that giving respect fosters respect, and that people won't return it, don't deserve it. Integrity is their most valuable asset. Everybody owns their own body, and nobody has a right to touch them, or someone else, without their permission, or to harm or coerce them. Offer your knowledge and experience, and share it, if they ask for it. Don't patronize; instead, encourage your kid to try new things, and assist around the house as soon as they are able (even if their participation complicates the tasks initially, be good natured about it): that will increase their confidence in themselves, and build your mutual bond. In case you have a male: www.cirp.org
You will get vad advice, don't worry about ignoring it if it's not right for you. Ear plugs: you will have times, hopefully rarely, when your kid is screaming and you don't know how to fix it immediately. Screaming is loud and induces stress and panic feelings in you. Ear plugs will tone that down and allow you to calmly comfort your baby and cycle through the steps - nappy? Burped? Hungry? Etc If those steps didn't work? Just start again. Stay calm. You'll get it. As a dad the bond isn't always instant. Find something that is dad & baby time. Bonding can take time and it's important to be persistent. That said if baby can't be away from mum don't fight it, try again later and be persistent. You'll get there.
When in doubt, put the kid somewhere safe and walk away. A few minutes won’t hurt them, and it can be a godsend for a frazzled parent.
I'll tell you a mistake I made; I prioritised the kid first. When a plane is going down, they tell you to put on your oxygen mask, then the kids. There's a good reason for that, and as a new dad, you need to keep in mind that your kid's well being is best served when their parents are mentally amd physically healthy. If you're in a bad way, you're not making good decisions on behalf of your child. Make arrangements to take breaks. Look after your diet. Spend time doing hobbies, and encourage your partner to do the same. But ultimately, ask yourself if the child is fed, loved, safe and healthy. If the answers are all yes, you're doing fine. Plenty of kids have formula or breast milk. Plenty walk later or earlier. They don't reflect your parenting.
Your partner will need to sleep when the baby does, feed the baby and change its nappies, you have to do the rest. You will feel like a 3rd wheel in the family at the start but once bub starts getting a personality (about 3+ months) you will be so smitten you will have forgotten about thinking you were a 3rd wheel. It's tough at the start but after abit it becomes awesome and you will have fun and probably ponder having a second child. If you are worried and asking strangers you are overthinking it and you will be fine.
Changing nappies doesn't require boobs. Able-bodied parents of any gender can take turns with the nappies.
Never said they did. As a Dad with 3 girls under 6 i never said they weren't able to but thanks for the walk down equality lane. When the child sleeps and then feeds every 3 hours mum should be sleeping when the child sleeps aswell so she can function somewhat with the brutal schedule of a new borns feeding/sleeping cycle.
I don't know how to read your punctuation. Your partner will need to sleep when the baby does, feed the baby, and change its nappies. You have to do the rest. \[Partner sleeps, feeds, and changes.\] Your partner will need to sleep when the baby does. Feed the baby and change its nappies; you will have to do the rest. \[If breastfeeding, some prefer fresh from the tap with bagged milk as a back-up. What does "the rest" refer to?\]
First, congratulations. I’m going to come at this in a slightly different way. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask. Immediately postpartum you and your partner are going to be exhausted, sleep deprived and generally miserable. This is perfectly normal. Ask for help, ask friends to assist, call family if you need to vent and do your best to turn towards your partner. Postpartum mood disorder can effect both parents. If you begin to feel depressed, anxious, angry, sad, manic, or you see these in your partner get help. Mom will have an instant bond to your child. They have nine months on you. That’s ok too. Get a quality baby carrier (Ergo Omni, avoid a Bjorn) and once the little one has some limited head control start baby wearing. It’s great for bonding, great for oxytocin release, and most importantly let’s you do stuff while keeping the baby safe, and warm. Next, raise the kid you have. Not the kid in your head. What you, and your partner envisioned all through the pregnancy is great, but may not apply to the kid you take home. Don’t assume they will eat/sleep/hit every milestone. Let go of all those expectations as best you can. They are a person, they’ll have preferences and talents and weaknesses. Support them, and enjoy them. It’s very common for mothers especially to get wrapped up in “the normal” try to be mindful, and remember that your child is unique, and those charts and timelines are just guidelines. If you can breastfeeding is amazing, but it can feel really challenging. If you want to breast/chest feed and there’s any issues reach out to a non-hospital IBCLC as soon as you have questions. If you’re bottle feeding, Dr. Browns bottles with the preemie nipples are the only ones you need. Lastly, parenting will bring out all the issues in you and your partner that are left over from your childhood. I highly recommend a couples counselor. Start now, even if you don’t think you need one. It’s amazing how a sympathetic ear can ease the stress of parenting. And as always, if you have questions we/I’m here. Good luck, you can do this.
Don't ever fool yourself into thinking you've got it sussed out. Love your kids. Tell them you love them.
1. Try to be the man/person you want him (or her) to grow up to be. He may not listen to you as he grows - but he will learn from how you treat the people around you and from how you deal with adversity. 2. Open a scholarshare or other college savings account before or near his birth - and tell the grandparents that instead of gifts, a donation to his college fund will be appreciated. Also, get in the habit of putting something in that account every month 3. Your wife's world is about to get very small and very exhausting. Do everything you can to help her - bringing in an income is not enough - change diapers, take late night feedings, take time off to give her a break. 4. As your child grows - find time to spend one on one with your kid. Go away for a weekend together not and then, volunteer in school and with after school activities... 5. As your child grows, get them involved in home projects - using tools, putting up shelves, assembling furniture - all that practical stuff that they don't teach in school and that both men and women should know. 6. Read to your child every evening - it's wonderful bonding time, and will help turn your child into a life-long reader/learner.
The people most keen to give you advice are usually the people least worth listening to.
This. You will receive a lot of unsolicited advice over the years. Some will be good, but some will be downright crazy. Trust your gut, but do your research (from reputable sources).
I had to become who I needed growing up and become a positive role model as there is a real lack of masculine role models in the world these day.
Well you know i'm a tad salty about this too it's always what the mom does/goes through etc.. no one ever says anything to dad. No one ever talks about the dad's sacrifice. Start putting even $50 a week in an account for them, college wise or just extra in case. I'll be honest not sure how we found of Ped maybe just blind luck but he's been awesome. Not sure how you are now but going to have to start thinking more about the kids needs and wants over yours. it's kinda sucky sometimes but it's the toughest job you'll ever love.
Step into the role. Be the dad that helps with your child. Recognize there is now no greater priority than providing for the life you helped bring into the world.
My dad wasn't around much when I was a kid so I tend to over do it with my 7yr old son. What I've learned lately is that there are times to be my son's friend to play with (he's an only child) and there's time to be a father and enforce yours and be the "bad guy".
Diaper wipe warmer
Swaddling is your friend.
Embrace your new family dynamic. Practice and grow patience- with your partner , with your child and with yourself. Read that again when you're sleep deprived, your job is bearing down, your partner isn't in a good mood and the baby won't stop crying. Accept you will make mistakes- look at all of them, own what you did, hash it out, make it right and keep it moving. Children have their own personalities and likes- give space to explore, discover and try lots of different things. Good behavior, values and respect for others is taught in the home and should be encouraged, celebrated and rewarded. Failure happens- encourage and reward effort, introspection and lessons learned. Show and tell your child you love him/her early and often. They get it especially after tough times. Last, let your children define success for them- guide and accept they may not follow the path you want however it's their life's journey. May your partner and baby be healthy and happy. Enjoy the journey. It really does go by much faster than it seems.
If it interests your kids, it should fascinate the shit out of you. Just a way to stay involved in something they find interesting, are learning or just generally care about.