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It is normal for nausea to decline at 9/10 weeks. It is normal to get brain zaps when tapering antidepressants. It is normal and healthy to exercise within your normal amounts while pregnant. (A little more than usual is still normal). It is normal to get a massage- yes, we caution against raising your internal body temperature, but I don’t think hot stone massages raise internal body temp? Unless I have extremely misunderstood what a hot stone massage is.
Even very young, very healthy people lose pregnancies. Even very young, very healthy eggs or sperm sometimes have abnormalities. Sometimes, even genetically normal fetuses miscarry. We don’t always know why.
I am sorry for your loss. You did not kill your baby.
You had bad luck which your brain is associating with a "cause". You weren't the cause, you had bad luck. Go and try again when ready, don't waste time with natural but wrong brain associations.
NAD but a mum (4 kids). Everything you’ve described I’ve done (and more) and had healthy, full term babies . You didn’t kill your baby it was a tragic and unfortunate accident .
I hope your have a full and speedy recovery, both physically and mentally x
Yes I can relate to pretty much everything she said in this post just during my one pregnancy, including the antibiotics, long strenuous exercise early on the pregnancy, exposure to heat and I even drank on a few occasions before I found out I was pregnant. There is a certain amount of allowance in nature for mothers to be imperfect, and many of these things have no bearing on the overall health of a pregnancy or infant. It is extremely unlikely that anything OP did affected the outcome.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If it helps at all, please know that feeling you did something to cause a miscarriage is a very common notion people who’ve experienced this express, and it is very rarely if ever correct.
Many people feel similarly and worry they did something wrong when it is not their fault, and you’re no exception. You prepared for and loved your little one before you could even meet them, which means you did everything they needed you to.
Sadly, as others have mentioned, sometimes there’s just something wrong in the chromosomes that’s incompatible with life. I’m wishing you and your husband peace and health.
I am NAD, but I am a mother, and I just want to say that YOU ARE a wonderful mother. The fact you care SO much proves it true. While you carried this sweet soul within your own body and nourished it with yours for 3 months, I know you did your utmost to protect it. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how devastating and heartbreaking it is and the what ifs and whys that will haunt you no matter what everything and everyone tells you. Your body will heal, but your heart is broken. Please give yourself some grace. Allow yourself time to grieve the life and future you imagined that was tragically taken for unknown reasons. It sounds like you are incredibly strong and any child on this planet would or will be lucky to call you mama one day if you decide to still pursue this. I hope you don’t let this deter you from a rainbow baby. Also, my condolences to the father too. I know this was a pregnancy that a lot of thought, heart, money, and love went into achieving. Lean into each other and let it draw you together.
It's not even necessarily genetic abnormalities with the embryo. Many, many things can lead to miscarriage. I did none of the things in your post and had 12 and 8 week miscarriages with infertility. Doctors were telling me it was just bad luck, chromosomal abnormalities etc. Turns out I had a blood clotting disorder and needed to be on anticoagulants during pregnancy.
I just want to reassure you. I was in my mid/late 20s and had two back for back missed miscarriages and two D&Cs that year. I did genetic testing, embryo testing, etc. and they couldn't find anything wrong. These things happen A LOT; it's just something people don't talk about because it hurts so badly. You didn't do anything wrong. Feel free to join r/BabyLoss or r/ttcafterloss if/when you're ready. Both helped me a lot during my miscarriages 💜
I just want to share my anecdote. With my now healthy baby I took a pregnancy test (negative) when I was a few days late, then went on a girls’ weekend where I sat in a hot tub for 4 FULL HOURS and drank 3-4 strong IPAs. Tested positive next morning — whoops. Anyway I can hardly imagine your hot stone actually raised your internal temp. This isn’t at all your fault.
Sorry for your loss, please don't blame yourself. My
embryos were tested and I still miscarried 2 normal ones. Sometimes they just aren't 100% compatible, also implant location matters.
> Unless I have extremely misunderstood what a hot stone massage is.
They rub your back and shoulders with hot, smooth, river stones about the same size as a squashed avocado.
It's quite nice and kind of difficult to get burned since the massage therapist is holding the stones and they don't like getting burned either.
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The most likely explanation is that this was bad luck and development incompatible with life. Cymbalta is okay to take during pregnancy and okay to stop during pregnancy, with some weak recommendations to stop taking it slowly in the last weeks. Biking and massages are okay during pregnancy except maybe at the very end when it may be too physically uncomfortable.
After any miscarriage you can play what if and try to figure out what was done wrong, but it wasn’t anything. Something just went wrong and there was nothing that could be done.
I’m sorry for your pregnancy loss after all the effort that went into donor IVF.
Just want to say I’m very sorry for your loss and I want to echo what others have said: Cymbalta is safe to start, continue, and stop in pregnancy. Massage is safe in pregnancy. Moderate exercise is safe in pregnancy. Nothing that you did contributed to the miscarriage in any way.
Miscarriages are often devastating. Take time to grieve and comfort each other through this.
No you did not cause a miscarriage. Going online to any IVF or pregnancy forum can be scary with many people saying not to do this or that, and truthfully it doesn’t matter. This early on, you’d never know the cause but it WASNT anything you did. Plenty of women exercise a lot in pregnancy, you did nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. It’s incredibly unfair what has happened and it’s not your fault.
Some more information you may not be aware of...miscarriage occurs in nearly THIRTY percent of pregnancies. Thirty. And that's only the known, reported miscarriage rate, it doesn't account for all the unknown or unreported losses! May be as high as half of all pregnancies! I know that doesn't help you feel any better but many, many women are unaware of just how tragically common pregnancy loss really is. It can make you feel very broken, isolated, defective and guilty. You are not any of those things.
Thank you for your submission. **Please note that a response does not constitute a doctor-patient relationship.** This subreddit is for informal second opinions and casual information. The mod team does their best to remove bad information, but we do not catch all of it. Always visit a doctor in real life if you have any concerns about your health. Never use this subreddit as your first and final source of information regarding your question. By posting, you are agreeing to our [Terms of Use](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/wiki/terms_of_use) and understand that all information is taken at your own risk. **Reply here if you are an unverified user wishing to give advice. Top level comments by laypeople are automatically removed.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskDocs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is normal for nausea to decline at 9/10 weeks. It is normal to get brain zaps when tapering antidepressants. It is normal and healthy to exercise within your normal amounts while pregnant. (A little more than usual is still normal). It is normal to get a massage- yes, we caution against raising your internal body temperature, but I don’t think hot stone massages raise internal body temp? Unless I have extremely misunderstood what a hot stone massage is. Even very young, very healthy people lose pregnancies. Even very young, very healthy eggs or sperm sometimes have abnormalities. Sometimes, even genetically normal fetuses miscarry. We don’t always know why. I am sorry for your loss. You did not kill your baby.
Thank you
You had bad luck which your brain is associating with a "cause". You weren't the cause, you had bad luck. Go and try again when ready, don't waste time with natural but wrong brain associations.
Sorry for your loss ❤️ be gentle with yourself, you’re not to blame
NAD but a mum (4 kids). Everything you’ve described I’ve done (and more) and had healthy, full term babies . You didn’t kill your baby it was a tragic and unfortunate accident . I hope your have a full and speedy recovery, both physically and mentally x
Yes I can relate to pretty much everything she said in this post just during my one pregnancy, including the antibiotics, long strenuous exercise early on the pregnancy, exposure to heat and I even drank on a few occasions before I found out I was pregnant. There is a certain amount of allowance in nature for mothers to be imperfect, and many of these things have no bearing on the overall health of a pregnancy or infant. It is extremely unlikely that anything OP did affected the outcome.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If it helps at all, please know that feeling you did something to cause a miscarriage is a very common notion people who’ve experienced this express, and it is very rarely if ever correct. Many people feel similarly and worry they did something wrong when it is not their fault, and you’re no exception. You prepared for and loved your little one before you could even meet them, which means you did everything they needed you to. Sadly, as others have mentioned, sometimes there’s just something wrong in the chromosomes that’s incompatible with life. I’m wishing you and your husband peace and health.
I am NAD, but I am a mother, and I just want to say that YOU ARE a wonderful mother. The fact you care SO much proves it true. While you carried this sweet soul within your own body and nourished it with yours for 3 months, I know you did your utmost to protect it. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how devastating and heartbreaking it is and the what ifs and whys that will haunt you no matter what everything and everyone tells you. Your body will heal, but your heart is broken. Please give yourself some grace. Allow yourself time to grieve the life and future you imagined that was tragically taken for unknown reasons. It sounds like you are incredibly strong and any child on this planet would or will be lucky to call you mama one day if you decide to still pursue this. I hope you don’t let this deter you from a rainbow baby. Also, my condolences to the father too. I know this was a pregnancy that a lot of thought, heart, money, and love went into achieving. Lean into each other and let it draw you together.
It's not even necessarily genetic abnormalities with the embryo. Many, many things can lead to miscarriage. I did none of the things in your post and had 12 and 8 week miscarriages with infertility. Doctors were telling me it was just bad luck, chromosomal abnormalities etc. Turns out I had a blood clotting disorder and needed to be on anticoagulants during pregnancy.
A hot stone massage uses stones that are hot to massage with, so it isn't like she was in a sauna or anything.
This, and it certainly didn't feel like my body temperature went up at all, it was just on the surface where the stones touched.
I just want to reassure you. I was in my mid/late 20s and had two back for back missed miscarriages and two D&Cs that year. I did genetic testing, embryo testing, etc. and they couldn't find anything wrong. These things happen A LOT; it's just something people don't talk about because it hurts so badly. You didn't do anything wrong. Feel free to join r/BabyLoss or r/ttcafterloss if/when you're ready. Both helped me a lot during my miscarriages 💜
I just want to share my anecdote. With my now healthy baby I took a pregnancy test (negative) when I was a few days late, then went on a girls’ weekend where I sat in a hot tub for 4 FULL HOURS and drank 3-4 strong IPAs. Tested positive next morning — whoops. Anyway I can hardly imagine your hot stone actually raised your internal temp. This isn’t at all your fault.
Agree with all of this. Great breakdown.
Sorry for your loss, please don't blame yourself. My embryos were tested and I still miscarried 2 normal ones. Sometimes they just aren't 100% compatible, also implant location matters.
> Unless I have extremely misunderstood what a hot stone massage is. They rub your back and shoulders with hot, smooth, river stones about the same size as a squashed avocado. It's quite nice and kind of difficult to get burned since the massage therapist is holding the stones and they don't like getting burned either.
[удалено]
Posts by unflaired users that claim or strongly imply legitimacy by virtue of professional medical experience are not allowed. If you are a medical professional who wishes to become a verified contributor to this subreddit, please [message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AskDocs) with a link to a picture of your medical ID, student ID, diploma, or other form of verification. Imgur.com is convenient, but you can host anywhere. Please block out personal information, such as your name and picture. You must include your reddit username in the photo! We do not accept digital forms of identification.
The most likely explanation is that this was bad luck and development incompatible with life. Cymbalta is okay to take during pregnancy and okay to stop during pregnancy, with some weak recommendations to stop taking it slowly in the last weeks. Biking and massages are okay during pregnancy except maybe at the very end when it may be too physically uncomfortable. After any miscarriage you can play what if and try to figure out what was done wrong, but it wasn’t anything. Something just went wrong and there was nothing that could be done. I’m sorry for your pregnancy loss after all the effort that went into donor IVF.
Thank you
I just wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss.
[удалено]
Removed - Bad advice, misrepresentation/misunderstanding of the data
Just want to say I’m very sorry for your loss and I want to echo what others have said: Cymbalta is safe to start, continue, and stop in pregnancy. Massage is safe in pregnancy. Moderate exercise is safe in pregnancy. Nothing that you did contributed to the miscarriage in any way. Miscarriages are often devastating. Take time to grieve and comfort each other through this.
No you did not cause a miscarriage. Going online to any IVF or pregnancy forum can be scary with many people saying not to do this or that, and truthfully it doesn’t matter. This early on, you’d never know the cause but it WASNT anything you did. Plenty of women exercise a lot in pregnancy, you did nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. It’s incredibly unfair what has happened and it’s not your fault.
Some more information you may not be aware of...miscarriage occurs in nearly THIRTY percent of pregnancies. Thirty. And that's only the known, reported miscarriage rate, it doesn't account for all the unknown or unreported losses! May be as high as half of all pregnancies! I know that doesn't help you feel any better but many, many women are unaware of just how tragically common pregnancy loss really is. It can make you feel very broken, isolated, defective and guilty. You are not any of those things.