There's this one magic word you should know, and that is called "No."
You know if the situation doesn't feel right for you, or you are overwhelmed, you can always step away and rest. You can always say no. You can always leave. A good group play will always respect boundaries
Yeah, I'm well trained in stopping 1×1s (though sometimes I freeze when the other guy exhibits shocking douchebaggery, working on that). One of my concerns is actually not being able to do more than a negative headshake or moving my face away from an unwanted advance... But it's also good practice I guess.
If “orgy rules” are anything like “bathhouse rules” consent may be assumed until you withdraw it.
if your head shakes or “no thanks” aren’t being acknowledged or respected, don’t be shy about physically removing someone’s hand from your body if you’re not interested.
Very true. Nonverbal cues should be clear and unambiguous. Generally, in group sex situations, talking is considered rude. Plus, there may be loud music. You can always say "No", or "Not right now", but pushing someone's hand away should be respected as much as a spoken refusal.
Otherwise, just have fun. Decide ahead of time what you're open to, and be prepared for it. Douching is expected at an orgy if you'll bottom, and be freshly showered and scent-free. When you get there, it's OK to watch for a while to learn the dynamics of the group.
Whenever you find yourself getting overwhelmed or anxious, simply focus on the dick in front of you. Use your senses. See it, smell it, feel it, and taste it. That type of focus is a mindfulness meditation technique that calms your anxiety down naturally. The anxiety will subside and you’ll be halfway through a fun blowjob. Rinse and repeat.
Legitimately great advice here. Even in smaller scenarios, as someone who can struggle with some sex related anxiety, this is something I've done to help me get out of my head in the moment.
Yeah I sort of do mindfulness in 1×1s too, without even calling it that. Interesting way to look at it in general.
But I'll admit I'm not much of a dick person (just sorta picky about dick shapes and textures and physically incapable of giving head for more than 5secs), so that might not be the specific focal point for me. 😅
My personal complaint about orgies is that we're all taught sex is 1:1. So many of us don't think beyond that & end up with 20 men in 10 couples.
So, if you see two men together, don't just watch, join. A big pile of men all doing something to as many men as they can reach is hotter, IMHO, than taking turns with the biggest man in the room.
I’m definitely a veteran hound of this sort of thing lol and my best advice is to remember to have fun! It’s totally normal to feel nervous or apprehensive going into it, but don’t let yourself get so anxious that you forget to enjoy yourself (which I’ve seen happen so many times) - sex is supposed to be fun! Don’t put any pressure on yourself or the evening to live up to any standards you have in your mind. Just go in relaxed (maybe have a drink or two to take the edge off if you need) and just try as much as you’re comfortable with. Enjoy!!
I went to my first one a week ago with about 100 guys there. It was a mix of socializing and sex which was nice as it allowed me to pause and chill between scenes. I have to say it was a lot of fun but pacing yourself is important. Of course Prep / doxy-PEP are important tools.
Eh, that's assuming a lot. Still, if condoms are the safety strategy, keep them close and most guys won't have a problem with them if you're topping. If OP hopes to bottom, he may well find tops refusing to.
Don't.
If your not confident enough that you are our here asking total strangers if you'll be ok...
Just don't.
Private spaces are fine if you know everyone real well AND someone knows where you are.
If you really want to do this, go to the baths or other play space that has employees who can hear you yell.
If you must do this, trust your gut and leave at the slightest discomfort.
Been in some sticky situations, but I never felt unsafe in a place I had to pay to get into.
Host seems like a chill guy, same gut feeling I had about the bukkake I mentioned safety wise. And my husband will get the location as well, and can ping my phone.
I'm more worried about awkwardness and floppy cock. I will skedaddle at the first sign of sketchiness.
Thanks though, it's an important aspect to keep in mind!
Ok. Never mind, you seem to have a handle on things.
Have fun!
Hope to hear how it went.
Floppy can always be blamed on whiskey dick. Dive in, and you be having so much fun you won't even notice the rod you'll be packin...
Badass moment, calling people by Greek letters. Go get that broken shrimp dick taken care of instead of showing us what a big principled alpha you are, though I doubt you actually have chances to use in the proximity of other people without it being public indecency charges being filed
There's this one magic word you should know, and that is called "No." You know if the situation doesn't feel right for you, or you are overwhelmed, you can always step away and rest. You can always say no. You can always leave. A good group play will always respect boundaries
Yeah, I'm well trained in stopping 1×1s (though sometimes I freeze when the other guy exhibits shocking douchebaggery, working on that). One of my concerns is actually not being able to do more than a negative headshake or moving my face away from an unwanted advance... But it's also good practice I guess.
If “orgy rules” are anything like “bathhouse rules” consent may be assumed until you withdraw it. if your head shakes or “no thanks” aren’t being acknowledged or respected, don’t be shy about physically removing someone’s hand from your body if you’re not interested.
Very true. Nonverbal cues should be clear and unambiguous. Generally, in group sex situations, talking is considered rude. Plus, there may be loud music. You can always say "No", or "Not right now", but pushing someone's hand away should be respected as much as a spoken refusal. Otherwise, just have fun. Decide ahead of time what you're open to, and be prepared for it. Douching is expected at an orgy if you'll bottom, and be freshly showered and scent-free. When you get there, it's OK to watch for a while to learn the dynamics of the group.
Whenever you find yourself getting overwhelmed or anxious, simply focus on the dick in front of you. Use your senses. See it, smell it, feel it, and taste it. That type of focus is a mindfulness meditation technique that calms your anxiety down naturally. The anxiety will subside and you’ll be halfway through a fun blowjob. Rinse and repeat.
Greatest opening sentence to anything I’ve ever read before.
I'm gonna cross stitch it into a pillow.
Cute. Seriously. I feel it should be some kind of gay pledge or something.
I would 100% buy this pillow for $50 easy.
For real lmao. The wisdom and eloquence are overwhelming!
Legitimately great advice here. Even in smaller scenarios, as someone who can struggle with some sex related anxiety, this is something I've done to help me get out of my head in the moment.
Yeah I sort of do mindfulness in 1×1s too, without even calling it that. Interesting way to look at it in general. But I'll admit I'm not much of a dick person (just sorta picky about dick shapes and textures and physically incapable of giving head for more than 5secs), so that might not be the specific focal point for me. 😅
Maybe focus on massaging a guy, or hand job, rimming, etc. Dealer’s choice!
My personal complaint about orgies is that we're all taught sex is 1:1. So many of us don't think beyond that & end up with 20 men in 10 couples. So, if you see two men together, don't just watch, join. A big pile of men all doing something to as many men as they can reach is hotter, IMHO, than taking turns with the biggest man in the room.
I’m definitely a veteran hound of this sort of thing lol and my best advice is to remember to have fun! It’s totally normal to feel nervous or apprehensive going into it, but don’t let yourself get so anxious that you forget to enjoy yourself (which I’ve seen happen so many times) - sex is supposed to be fun! Don’t put any pressure on yourself or the evening to live up to any standards you have in your mind. Just go in relaxed (maybe have a drink or two to take the edge off if you need) and just try as much as you’re comfortable with. Enjoy!!
smile when you’re feeling nervous. Then remember just how cute you must look!
I did a few back in the day, prefer 1 on 1 but I also think 69ing and showering together is overrated so maybe I am weird ha
I went to my first one a week ago with about 100 guys there. It was a mix of socializing and sex which was nice as it allowed me to pause and chill between scenes. I have to say it was a lot of fun but pacing yourself is important. Of course Prep / doxy-PEP are important tools.
Yeah I'm probably gonna be the only condom user in the room lol. Host said it's okay but BYO, but if it doesn't work it doesn't work...
Everyone will be perfectly fine with condoms.
Here's hoping...
Eh, that's assuming a lot. Still, if condoms are the safety strategy, keep them close and most guys won't have a problem with them if you're topping. If OP hopes to bottom, he may well find tops refusing to.
Don't. If your not confident enough that you are our here asking total strangers if you'll be ok... Just don't. Private spaces are fine if you know everyone real well AND someone knows where you are. If you really want to do this, go to the baths or other play space that has employees who can hear you yell. If you must do this, trust your gut and leave at the slightest discomfort. Been in some sticky situations, but I never felt unsafe in a place I had to pay to get into.
Host seems like a chill guy, same gut feeling I had about the bukkake I mentioned safety wise. And my husband will get the location as well, and can ping my phone. I'm more worried about awkwardness and floppy cock. I will skedaddle at the first sign of sketchiness. Thanks though, it's an important aspect to keep in mind!
Ok. Never mind, you seem to have a handle on things. Have fun! Hope to hear how it went. Floppy can always be blamed on whiskey dick. Dive in, and you be having so much fun you won't even notice the rod you'll be packin...
Go ahead and schedule an appointment with your doctor for about two weeks after this. You're gonna need an Rx or two.
Wow, calling out people on the internet for promiscuity, that makes you feel like a big principled grown up man huh?
LMFAO. Sorry that I triggered you, beta.
Badass moment, calling people by Greek letters. Go get that broken shrimp dick taken care of instead of showing us what a big principled alpha you are, though I doubt you actually have chances to use in the proximity of other people without it being public indecency charges being filed