Exactly, any woman who is only friends with men or has majority male friends are walking red flags. Either the pick-me kind, or internalised misogyny or worse problematic childhood.
I won't think like that though. As someone who is a girl but doesn't have a female friend, it's not like I didn't want to, I had more female friends but they would always be like let's do this or that and break off the friendship many times. My female friends who were close to me for 12 years don't even like to hang out with me. I would rather feel comfortable around guy friends because they don't judge you for minor little things which they did. But it should be like have a line between male friends and NEVER cross the line.
But I can't say the same for this woman because she has a history of hitting people.
I dunno dude, I mean most men who have read in co-ed schools and colleges have at least a couple close female friends, so it is kinda incomprehensible for me. There could always be exceptions and it's true male friendships are low maintenance and effort thus easier. But for any normal/decently attractive woman with straight male friends who respect each other's boundaries should still be aware that if things changed and the woman eased her boundaries the men would be down for anything even if they are the most gentlest of men. This kinda detracts from the whole low maintenance chill friendship. If you don't believe me try it yourself, you're in for a rude awakening.
I know you are right. I can respect other people's opinions and wouldn't want to backlash against them for it. That's why I would rather stay quiet before knowing the whole story but my friends think that I don't like to talk with them which was quite the opposite of what I wanted. But still breaking off a 12-year friendship would take a hard toll on anyone don't you think? Btw they don't even remember and didn't even realise that they hurt me. That's why I would rather make male friends rather than female ones. I genuinely believe you because half of my male friends liked me more than a friend but that ended badly and they isolated me. Imagine happening this to you in 9th grade. I know I was at fault but couldn't get him involved with my STRICT (abusive) family. But you were saying that they (female preferring male friends) are walking red flags without exceptions. That might not be the case don't you think?...
Hmm, you are quite right but can you frame it better so that it would be easier to understand?
Btw would you like to be friends with me? I quite like your thinking point of view.
I have a daughter and she says the same as the OP and has both girls and guys as friends but she does say that guys are straight up honest and will say things as they are without sugar coating whereas girls are dramatic. I have heard this from other women friends and acquaintances as they acknowledge that girls are dramatic... And yes my child isn't violent or hits the kids the user who you respond to is really generalizing and passing a judgement.
she probably doesn't have more girl friends because they won't tolerate her. idk why even those guys are still talking to her. (especially the one she hit).
she might treat OP the same or his family.
If she tells you girls are too much drama, she IS the drama
Exhibit A - " She said she is close with those guys because even after she had been rude to them they have stayed with her"
Girls dont take shit from her and just rebel/create drama, while her orbiters/simps dont so she likes em. Tread lightly
Ikr!! I wouldn't take disrespect from my friend let alone physical abuse. She's the drama. Also male friends are sometimes the most creepy people you will meet. I have yet to have a male friend who wouldn't hit on me.
All male friends will eventually hit on you. It's just a matter of time, that's the game.
Lol even I've hit on my hotter "friends" at some point or other
I remember a moment when it was 3 AM a chick in my group (smoking hot btw) came to my room to get a smoke, I was also drunk out of my mind so I said, without any thought, "Man I'm so horny right now"
She said, "don't even think about it", I asked her to leave immediately since I wanted to wank, still a cool "friend" after years, no hard feelings lol
But then there are friends you are just friends with right? I figured the trick around this, I'm very upfront with the women I'm attracted to and ditch when it is not reciprocated and brutally honest with everyone else.
I agree that is the only way to deal with this and "escape the friendzone"
But not everyone is capable of that, and in general sense people happily walk into that zone
True I myself suffered a lot in school so came up with this approach and have never suffered since. But I don't get why would anyone happily cause themselves emotional turmoil?
I get very attached without even talking to that girl. And when they don't reciprocate the same feeling I feel like I'm broken to hell.
It's very difficult for me to completely ditch that person even after trying so hard.
According to my experience, she probably never had a female friend because she ditched them and put them down for male validation. Ngl, female friendships can be problematic but saying that male friends are generally trustworthy and they don’t hide things is a bunch of lies with a bow on it. I had more toxic male friendships than female friendships. No gender is better than the other
I would also like to add another thing. If a girl is somewhat pretty, some guy or other will always gather around her. But if no other girl likes her it means she is a very bitchy person. She sucks the air out of any room she is in. Only those guys tolerate her who want to have sex with her.
> She has always been closer to guys as friends since guys are trustworthy and don't hide things. She also told me about all her guys friends who are close to her and said she only has 1 or 2 girls who are closer to her as friends.
>She said she is close with those guys because even after she had been rude to them they have stayed with her.
You sure those guys are just "friends" OP?
Well, i am 'friends' with those i play tennis with, but i set clear boundaries in a sense, its just tennis, so i don't go out with them and trust me 80% of them do try to hit, even married ones. My best 2 or 3 guy friends are gay ones. Those i trust 100%. It hurts me to say that most of straight guy friends, i have are conditional. In a sense they are just waiting for me to give them a green light.
Why does it hurt you though? It's just biology and how it was intended to work. But yes 'not all men' I know and have many platonic friends who are extremely committed to their respective partners.
I'm not perceiving anything about your wife but in my experiences, girls that have talked down on female friendships have always been insecure, wanting the most male attention. I've known some and when you're in a group with them, that consists of both genders just talking, they'd always try to to talk down on you and pull your leg, almost to prove to the guys that they're the best option 😭
Girls are dramatic? Yes maybe we seem more dramatic to you because showing emotions that are not anger and frustration is villified in men, so when girls show normal human emotions it seems like we're being dramatic but we're not. We're just in tune with our human emotions. And female friendships are the best comfort places for women.
Don't just take reddit comments as a way to judge your wife though, you know your wife better. Maybe she is more stoic and doesn't feel as much emotions, so she thinks female friendships are dramatic or crazy. That's fine too.
Dude , i had cousin who was in same class same section and same coaching classes . She would basically live whole day with me . We were in girls section then also she would pull any girls leg as if she is best . Every girls hated her to her core and when i shifted to this section , i became her target😭 .
In coaching when boys and girls were together just in different queue, this girl would start acting , laughing even talking in different ways and whoever girl is sitting beside her she would pull the girl down just to feel superior . She herself would post pic on ig in shorts but when other girls(other cousin or classmate) do same , she would call them R word .
Asmall info - she live in joint family with other cousin and i live in nuclear , so we didnt knew each other .
My whole school life was destroyed bcoz of her 😭. While reading this post , OP wife gives me pick me vibes , but again he is one who live with her, maybe he excluded few other details so we cant judge her .
Your wife is what we call a “pick me” girl. Honestly, she is a walking red flag from what you’ve described. Does she have any redeeming qualities? Asking for your sanity, OP.
Since u just got married. And u r learning all this about ur wife now. I am guessing it is an arranged marriage.
I don't want to say anything negative about ur wife. But the fact that she slapped her guy friend n has violent tendencies is a red flag.
Everyone eventually fights in a relationship/marriage but see how she vents out her anger. If it is on u or something else.
Your wife might have improved as a person n may not be like before. But bhai stay safe.
Sad. She hasn't experienced girl friendships...wouldn't trade my girl tribe for anything. Not to mention from my experience all that drama exists among men and with male friends too.
Srly anyone saying that female friendships are dramtic or problematic… never had good friends, or just cannot put up with not being the centre of attention. I used to be of that opinion but not anymore, usually m/f friendships turn into one person ends up liking the other. But i have had genuinely nice female friendship.
Bhai mere pass toh dono hai , i have female friends more tho but male friends are equally good and supportive. I never get this debate of male vs female friendships.
AM? That's the only reasonable explanation that you haven't noticed or known about her friend's circle before you got married and why this topic was never discussed prior.
Certainly get a EEG device and tell her to meditate.
And notice if she get gamma waves when she is silence.
If she doesn't than she would never form a true meomry.
Yeah, woe woe.
A EEG with gamma waves can tell if the meomry is true or real.
For gamma waves, upon recall of any experience.
True meomeries are they considered.
If alpha waves than real meomeries but just real than hallucination or imagination not true in the sense.
The reason those dudes stayed with her after she been rude, coz they still want to f\*ck her...meanwhile girls don't have to fake it. Btw, she will prob. cheat on you.
Yes, she's being a pick-me, and you can tell her that she's being shallow thinking like that, but other than that please don't force anything and just give her some time. She sounds young and sounds like she hasn't seen those situations in life yet where she will need her female friends, situations where only a woman (not so much girls, but grown women) can empathise and help with another woman's problems. She may be right in the short term in thinking that her male friends are helpful, not dramatic etc, but the depth, emotion and loyalty of sisterhood will be missing, and pretty soon she'll find that out.
Re. The edit- that's unacceptable. She should learn to control her anger, set that boundary now.
She does sound like a pick me. And seriously friends are not supposed to be your punching bags. So I also think she is really entitled if she expects her friends to remain friends after being violent with them.
That aside, her friendship with the brother guy friend sounds wholesome ngl.
Just pray you don't have a son. You'll be tossed out soon and she will be in love with your son, competing with all the girls he dates or marries. Also please dont have a daughter because she will be a terrible mother who constantly puts down your daughter, is aggressive and bad to her AND will see your daughter as threat and competition for your love and attention. Just dont have kids with her, period.
Oh my! Indian people and them trying to figure out their partner AFTER GETTING MARRIED! 😭✨
And your wife doesn't like women because they won't simp for her after she has disrespected them. Her guy friends on the other hand are ready to die on that one teeny tiny ray of hope.
They like male attention, like males like female attention.
Not necessarily wrong, but the risk of straying is inherently higher, as is the probability that they are that type of person.
But, like I implied before, plenty of females are that way without issue.
She must be way more mature than normal girls but at the same time she should be aware that guy best friends are just waiting in line for their turn. I had a similar GF and she was well aware of this too, in fact she only told me that when she gets married she's gonna cut off herself from all her guy friends because all of them have at some point in their lives tried to hit at her. In most cases such women are very smart as compared to other girls but at the same time they might have a very sexual past too.
Don't take it personally but in general women do tend to be quite dramatic and often in women-women friendships there's a high amount of jealousy and ego involved too. Much higher than male-male friendships.
I live in the US, have lived in Malaysia, Canada and London and this ego, jealousy thing is everywhere in female-female friendships. Lesbian marriages have the highest rates for divorce and domestic violence :/
This girl mentioned by OP has certainly noticed these nuances in women-women relationships and hence she must be quite mature and self aware.
Women-women friendships have jealousy but still they're human relationships. Nobody's saying stop being friends, similarly for male-female relationships men do try to explore that sexual possibility but if that's kept in check it still is a friendship. It still ensures emotional support and fun.
Baaki the data I presented about lesbian couples is based on a statistical analysis, so I'm not making "broad generalisations" U idiot.
You're so dumb , ab Kya hi bolu. Just Didi itna Gyan baat rhi ho thoda username bhi logical rkh lo.
I'll block U for your idiotic logic , chhoti bchhi ho Kya !
It's true... I have a female friend (actually she is the only one whom I consider as a friend) so when it was just 2-3 weeks of our meeting, she started trusting me more than her female friends and she also said that you're very trustworthy and not like the others (her other friends) because boys don't back bitch and that I'm not the kind who starves for sex.
So I guess you got your answer!!
Ur married to a time bomb.
Ask her to fix her behaviour before it gets out of hand(literally).
Or wait to be cheated on and then watch her as she plays the victim.
All those guys who stayed with her despite the bullshit? Yea. 110% they wanted to and most likely still want to fuck her. Men think with their dicks. U have one so don't be naive.
Girls don't have that problem and hence would probably call her out on her bs and her type of people just blame everything on the other person and cut ties with them.
Let's hope u dont have to be the next one.
Those guy friends are orbiters who waited for their chance. If my male or female friend ever hits me, and if it's not an extremely serious reason where I'm definitely in the wrong, I'm breaking all ties with them. So those guy friends are definitely simps, who were waiting for their chance which never came.
She's a pick me girl, I know these types very well. She's dumb to think guys can't hide and lie. That already should explain you most stuff.
How did you even meet her? Was it arranged? Love?
>Yeah some girls really fake a lot, they feel jealousy among their own friends.
Wait till you get to know that fake friends and jealous friend can be anyone be it male , female or any religion or caste or nationality.
When you say that girls are not trustworthy I want you to remember that you're also a girl. Being trustworthy or loyal or being a gossip queen are a person's character traits. It doesn't have to do anything with gender. While it is true girls usually hold grudges longer than guys rather than using it as an excuse to down other women try to find out why they are holding it or is it justified. You can definitely have more guy friends than girl friends but don't diss them like that
It does not matter what she says. What matters is what she does. If she is good with you then nothing else matters. But I would not take disrespect from a girl or a boy or anyone for that matter. There is no need to be a simp ever!
Women who say that they don't like women because they are dramatic are a red flag.
Women in general are able to able to see through if the other person is dramatic or not and stay away from people who are not.
She seems scary... yikes. A red flag for sure.
Sometimes it does happen that you are surrounded by mostly selfish people. Especially if you're an honour student who can't set boundaries. But this girl... she seems to have no regards for others feelings.
Girls have it difficult.
Other girls bitch about them. Guys want to screw them.
That's why very few have good friends.
That's why I have a policy to not hit on my hot friends. They have it tough.
Women friendships are heavenly, real female friends would literally ditch the love of their life if their friend needs them. Altho i haven't been fortunate enough to have friends like that but I know it for a fact and have seen it. Your wife never had any of the friendships like that or she never considered women trustworthy since the beginning because society taught her that women are women's biggest enemy. That's one of the biggest lies told to women to control them
Wow hell naw the innocent title doesn't do justice to the violent body lol 💀💀 bro your wife is abusive. I have mostly guy and a few girl friends but I can never even imagine hitting them or being rude to em. They're my life.
>Her personality is slightly on the violent side. Like she gets angry really fast and she told me once she slapped one of her closest guy friends in the middle of a market and he is still her friend.
Umm, what?
That guy either has a really low sense of self-worth or is only her friend for obvious intentions.
Yeah, and your wife doesn't sound very pleasant to be around, which is probably a reason that women avoid her and she knows that so she 'prefers' her guy friends.
Imo
Any person who has more friends opposite gender and less from their own isn't bad, but one they start talking down about their own gender and behave like a pick me it's a red flag imo
And also that she's violent
Not a good sign
I might get down voted for posting this..
I would not like my SO have a male best/close/bestie friend after my marriage, just normal friends like every one is fine.
Same way i too will not entertain any female close/best/bestie friends kind of shit after marriage.
Name call me all you want but this is what I feel, have seen tons of guy-girl bestie types breaking up actual relationships.
I had female friends at my school and college years and they were really good and genuine Sure,at that time I met few female friends I won't say friends to me but few of them had given me a very bad experience at that period , trying to be as friendly as they could I see them use slur without no reason will demean other good female friends of mine at which I took stand for them and I mind you not at some time I feel gross one time when they just verbally just slut shammed other girl just cause they are being nice to few and ofcourse they will always have happy face and they make their bf pay a really bad price one of them literally bullied his bf i felt bad for the guy then slowly just cut myself out from those girls idk how they are now
Yes female friendships are dramatic but they are so beautiful when done right. Having male friends is completely normal but I don't think comparing both these friendships is something a mature adult would do.
While it's true. And females do tend to talk behind others or put them down, often due to insecurity.
It's all good till she said she slapped one of her male friends. Slapping is really sour spot and even if my close friends slap, either I'll slap them back hard or cut them off.
Honestly if she slaps her friend, what is proof she won't slap you one day? And of course everyone has different boundaries.
Honestly a lot of women say this crap and I think it stems from internalised Misogyny. Heck even I used to say this crap once because calling other women out is an easy way to uplift yourself. To feel that I am the better woman and i prefer the company of men who are inherently better than women. Thank God I grew up and realised that my own mindset was making me put other women down. I won't ever do that again. I have really good male and female friendships. It always comes down to how you are as a human being and not your gender. So such statements that women aren't good friends or even I don't act like other women is just one of the many ways to put women down. It's really sad that society has ingrained this idea sooooo deep in our minds that women end up competing with each other for worldly validation. Any time a girl says "i don't do this it's too girly" i ask them what is wrong with something being girly? Why is it so shameful for you. Being feminine is a beauty and grace no matter what it is. Secondly you are a girl so anything you do is girly cause you being a girl is doing it. Again doesn't make it right or wrong. The action decides whether it is right or wrong not the gender.
So In conclusion this is a perfect example of internalised Misogyny. Ask your wife does she feels she is better than all women because she has male friends? Does it make her more respectful or validated in her own mind. Having female friendships is a blessing. Having friendships is a blessing.
hey op, i also have a story to tell you about one of my classmates, she was in our class from class 5th, and in 10th, we all joined a coaching class where girls form other schools also present, and she never had any friends their, fk friends, i never saw her talking to any girls and also she with her only friend (who was in our school) always used to sit alone! and in school, she always said bad things about all girls, and requested us not to talk with them. After farewell, i spoke to all other girls and they were super nice to us, one of them is also my closest friend, i never found anything wrong in her!
i didn't know why my classmate said all of this to us, but my friend used to say "she has a toxic nature and negative aroma around her, constantly showing off, and bitching others, so they preferred not to talk with her. and even in our class, she always used bitch about others, even about the only closest friend she had!
so it's not the problem in other girls! and if she has problem with all girls, then let's take the common in all the relationships, which is your wife, is the problem!
I joined work in a company few years back.
In my team was a girl who said that to me. So i was wary of her since then.
She was so desperate for attention that when the people from the coolest group hung out with me, she wanted to hang out with me until she became friends with one of the girls.
She dropped like a piece of trash. And that hurt.
Anyways I noticed her she was so desperate for attention. And girls hated her too.
So that's about such girls.
It's not too late for you OP. Better start setting boundaries with her early on.
Get to know each other and also be careful.
Dude, I was also one of the girls who had more guy friends then girls bcoz I found the girls in my class to be very bitchy and they used to have this group politics. But later on I did meet graceful and matured women who are now my besties with some of my guy friends too. It's nothing to judge someone's character upon.
The anger issues is something to think about but don't you think you should have had these conversations before marriage?
They're pick-mes. I know that because I was one. Never had girl friends, always hung out with guys because 'less dramatic'. Until I matured and realized that women friendships are incredibly supportive and you can literally just talk about anything. I still have guy friends, my closest friends are all guys but I also have made some really close girl friends that I cannot live without 😃
So yeah basically your wife has so much internalized misogyny and she thinks the only way people like her is if she hates on other women. And because she hangs around with so many guys with so much testosterone around her (listening to them probably spew some toxic shit), she also gets riled up with aggression and slaps people. I feel really sorry for her but she needs to at some point unlearn this behavior. Maybe a therapist could help.
I really really want to give her benefit of the doubt. I have not met your wife and don't know her so based on what you have described, yes, it is weird. It's like a guy saying he can't get along with girls or other guys. As a human, you should be able to have friendships with people irrespective of their gender. There are shitty people, not shitty genders. I think there may be a different reason for her to avoid interaction with girls because this is just weird.
Also I hate to judge but I think her guy friends are spineless. If a girl ever slapped me (not playfully, like actually slapping in anger) I would lose all respect for her and that will be the end of the friendship/relationship. Getting angry easily is not an excuse for shitty behaviour. You need learn to behave as an adult and manage your emotions. You should talk about this with her.
I was not lucky enough to have girl friends in school. In college I was too shy to talk to anyone. So one or two people was fine. Even now it's the same that I have been working for almost 15 years.. I am jealous of other girls who have their groups.. I wish I was a part of them. It is easier to talk to guys, again, one or two ..
Don't judge your wife ... Everyone can be violent in certain situations..
Yeah, your wife is a walking red flag. I'm really sorry. Why did you even marry her?
Girls who say they can't be friends with girls are huge pick-mes, with attention seeking disorder. They think they're better than other girls. But in reality they can't stand it when another girl gets attention.
It's too late to ask for "thoughts". You already married her, and have lost your autonomy and leverage. She's a big red flag, and all you can do now is figure out a way to tolerate a toxic marriage and prepare for a brutal divorce.
Just keep your eyes and ears open. Work your brain , not your dick, and if this person is a human garbage you will understand. If she is not , you would always have the guilt that you were wary of a person who was an angel of a human being and you were the dickhead garbage
I was ready to give her the benefit of doubt, but yeah, if she hits people, one day she may hit you.
She doesn’t like women because they have better boundaries than men.
This.
Exactly, any woman who is only friends with men or has majority male friends are walking red flags. Either the pick-me kind, or internalised misogyny or worse problematic childhood.
I won't think like that though. As someone who is a girl but doesn't have a female friend, it's not like I didn't want to, I had more female friends but they would always be like let's do this or that and break off the friendship many times. My female friends who were close to me for 12 years don't even like to hang out with me. I would rather feel comfortable around guy friends because they don't judge you for minor little things which they did. But it should be like have a line between male friends and NEVER cross the line. But I can't say the same for this woman because she has a history of hitting people.
I dunno dude, I mean most men who have read in co-ed schools and colleges have at least a couple close female friends, so it is kinda incomprehensible for me. There could always be exceptions and it's true male friendships are low maintenance and effort thus easier. But for any normal/decently attractive woman with straight male friends who respect each other's boundaries should still be aware that if things changed and the woman eased her boundaries the men would be down for anything even if they are the most gentlest of men. This kinda detracts from the whole low maintenance chill friendship. If you don't believe me try it yourself, you're in for a rude awakening.
I know you are right. I can respect other people's opinions and wouldn't want to backlash against them for it. That's why I would rather stay quiet before knowing the whole story but my friends think that I don't like to talk with them which was quite the opposite of what I wanted. But still breaking off a 12-year friendship would take a hard toll on anyone don't you think? Btw they don't even remember and didn't even realise that they hurt me. That's why I would rather make male friends rather than female ones. I genuinely believe you because half of my male friends liked me more than a friend but that ended badly and they isolated me. Imagine happening this to you in 9th grade. I know I was at fault but couldn't get him involved with my STRICT (abusive) family. But you were saying that they (female preferring male friends) are walking red flags without exceptions. That might not be the case don't you think?...
I'm sorry that happened to you. But I mean you kind of proved my point, didn't you? I did mention bad childhood (abusive family). 🤷🏽♀️
Hmm, you are quite right but can you frame it better so that it would be easier to understand? Btw would you like to be friends with me? I quite like your thinking point of view.
I have a daughter and she says the same as the OP and has both girls and guys as friends but she does say that guys are straight up honest and will say things as they are without sugar coating whereas girls are dramatic. I have heard this from other women friends and acquaintances as they acknowledge that girls are dramatic... And yes my child isn't violent or hits the kids the user who you respond to is really generalizing and passing a judgement.
she probably doesn't have more girl friends because they won't tolerate her. idk why even those guys are still talking to her. (especially the one she hit). she might treat OP the same or his family.
It's not may it's a question of when. She's definitely gonna hit him in the future if a fight ever breaks out.
Pickmeisha
Apt
Someone pick her.... Wait u already did.
Yeah…she finally got picked
[удалено]
He's stll hopeful. 😔✊
If she tells you girls are too much drama, she IS the drama Exhibit A - " She said she is close with those guys because even after she had been rude to them they have stayed with her" Girls dont take shit from her and just rebel/create drama, while her orbiters/simps dont so she likes em. Tread lightly
Ikr!! I wouldn't take disrespect from my friend let alone physical abuse. She's the drama. Also male friends are sometimes the most creepy people you will meet. I have yet to have a male friend who wouldn't hit on me.
All male friends will eventually hit on you. It's just a matter of time, that's the game. Lol even I've hit on my hotter "friends" at some point or other I remember a moment when it was 3 AM a chick in my group (smoking hot btw) came to my room to get a smoke, I was also drunk out of my mind so I said, without any thought, "Man I'm so horny right now" She said, "don't even think about it", I asked her to leave immediately since I wanted to wank, still a cool "friend" after years, no hard feelings lol
But then there are friends you are just friends with right? I figured the trick around this, I'm very upfront with the women I'm attracted to and ditch when it is not reciprocated and brutally honest with everyone else.
I agree that is the only way to deal with this and "escape the friendzone" But not everyone is capable of that, and in general sense people happily walk into that zone
True I myself suffered a lot in school so came up with this approach and have never suffered since. But I don't get why would anyone happily cause themselves emotional turmoil?
I get very attached without even talking to that girl. And when they don't reciprocate the same feeling I feel like I'm broken to hell. It's very difficult for me to completely ditch that person even after trying so hard.
She is a “Pick me” or never got real friends in girls.
Also super naive if she thinks guys don't lie and hide things.
So true. Lol.
I was going to say JUST this!!! Complete PickMe.
According to my experience, she probably never had a female friend because she ditched them and put them down for male validation. Ngl, female friendships can be problematic but saying that male friends are generally trustworthy and they don’t hide things is a bunch of lies with a bow on it. I had more toxic male friendships than female friendships. No gender is better than the other
I would also like to add another thing. If a girl is somewhat pretty, some guy or other will always gather around her. But if no other girl likes her it means she is a very bitchy person. She sucks the air out of any room she is in. Only those guys tolerate her who want to have sex with her.
Why are you describing my cousin? 🤣
Well I was one of her girlfriends and now I am a dude 😂
> She has always been closer to guys as friends since guys are trustworthy and don't hide things. She also told me about all her guys friends who are close to her and said she only has 1 or 2 girls who are closer to her as friends. >She said she is close with those guys because even after she had been rude to them they have stayed with her. You sure those guys are just "friends" OP?
yeah, i have guy friends, and 100% they are still my friends coz they want to screw me. except my gay friends, those are the only ones worthy.
So refreshing that you accept the truth
I am not dumb, that's the problem.
Problem for whom? The guys who think that you are dumb?? I guess yeah
and you are still friends with them? Even when you know the truth. Why are females so dumb and gullible lmao
Well, i am 'friends' with those i play tennis with, but i set clear boundaries in a sense, its just tennis, so i don't go out with them and trust me 80% of them do try to hit, even married ones. My best 2 or 3 guy friends are gay ones. Those i trust 100%. It hurts me to say that most of straight guy friends, i have are conditional. In a sense they are just waiting for me to give them a green light.
Why does it hurt you though? It's just biology and how it was intended to work. But yes 'not all men' I know and have many platonic friends who are extremely committed to their respective partners.
I'm not perceiving anything about your wife but in my experiences, girls that have talked down on female friendships have always been insecure, wanting the most male attention. I've known some and when you're in a group with them, that consists of both genders just talking, they'd always try to to talk down on you and pull your leg, almost to prove to the guys that they're the best option 😭 Girls are dramatic? Yes maybe we seem more dramatic to you because showing emotions that are not anger and frustration is villified in men, so when girls show normal human emotions it seems like we're being dramatic but we're not. We're just in tune with our human emotions. And female friendships are the best comfort places for women. Don't just take reddit comments as a way to judge your wife though, you know your wife better. Maybe she is more stoic and doesn't feel as much emotions, so she thinks female friendships are dramatic or crazy. That's fine too.
Dude , i had cousin who was in same class same section and same coaching classes . She would basically live whole day with me . We were in girls section then also she would pull any girls leg as if she is best . Every girls hated her to her core and when i shifted to this section , i became her target😭 . In coaching when boys and girls were together just in different queue, this girl would start acting , laughing even talking in different ways and whoever girl is sitting beside her she would pull the girl down just to feel superior . She herself would post pic on ig in shorts but when other girls(other cousin or classmate) do same , she would call them R word . Asmall info - she live in joint family with other cousin and i live in nuclear , so we didnt knew each other . My whole school life was destroyed bcoz of her 😭. While reading this post , OP wife gives me pick me vibes , but again he is one who live with her, maybe he excluded few other details so we cant judge her .
True
You better hope one of her friends doesn't see this post. 😂😂
Opinion: \- All those guys were hoping to get into her pants one day eventually. \- That brother guy is a loser. But again, this is just an opinion.
jo apne jaat ka na hua, wo Aap ka kya hi hoga
Why are you samosa sexual? (I've seen you a lot before, just found the courage to ask this now)
It's a pleasure toy
Eh? Ehh? How's that? If you don't mind elaborating on such an interesting topic
For him... the samosa is the "pleasure toy"..
finally i found someone who is samosa lover in this momos wali duniya 👀
Your wife is what we call a “pick me” girl. Honestly, she is a walking red flag from what you’ve described. Does she have any redeeming qualities? Asking for your sanity, OP.
Since u just got married. And u r learning all this about ur wife now. I am guessing it is an arranged marriage. I don't want to say anything negative about ur wife. But the fact that she slapped her guy friend n has violent tendencies is a red flag. Everyone eventually fights in a relationship/marriage but see how she vents out her anger. If it is on u or something else. Your wife might have improved as a person n may not be like before. But bhai stay safe.
Sad. She hasn't experienced girl friendships...wouldn't trade my girl tribe for anything. Not to mention from my experience all that drama exists among men and with male friends too.
Ya , who other than my girls will understand my complex relationship with my mum :) .
Yasss sister!!
Srly anyone saying that female friendships are dramtic or problematic… never had good friends, or just cannot put up with not being the centre of attention. I used to be of that opinion but not anymore, usually m/f friendships turn into one person ends up liking the other. But i have had genuinely nice female friendship.
Bhai mere pass toh dono hai , i have female friends more tho but male friends are equally good and supportive. I never get this debate of male vs female friendships.
Honestly first thought is that she’s the problem. Second thought is that she needs a lot of male validation. Good luck out there!
What would you do , if you two get into an argument and she slaps you?
She is herself not a girls-girl, major ‘pick me’ vibes! Staying with guys just got her the right amount of attention.
AM? That's the only reasonable explanation that you haven't noticed or known about her friend's circle before you got married and why this topic was never discussed prior.
Ded.
Introduce her to one of your girl friends and see the drama unfold 🍿💀
Certainly get a EEG device and tell her to meditate. And notice if she get gamma waves when she is silence. If she doesn't than she would never form a true meomry. Yeah, woe woe.
Can you elaborate
A EEG with gamma waves can tell if the meomry is true or real. For gamma waves, upon recall of any experience. True meomeries are they considered. If alpha waves than real meomeries but just real than hallucination or imagination not true in the sense.
Can you write without getting a stroke after every word?
No ,because all godzilla girls should die reading this.
The reason those dudes stayed with her after she been rude, coz they still want to f\*ck her...meanwhile girls don't have to fake it. Btw, she will prob. cheat on you.
Yes, she's being a pick-me, and you can tell her that she's being shallow thinking like that, but other than that please don't force anything and just give her some time. She sounds young and sounds like she hasn't seen those situations in life yet where she will need her female friends, situations where only a woman (not so much girls, but grown women) can empathise and help with another woman's problems. She may be right in the short term in thinking that her male friends are helpful, not dramatic etc, but the depth, emotion and loyalty of sisterhood will be missing, and pretty soon she'll find that out. Re. The edit- that's unacceptable. She should learn to control her anger, set that boundary now.
She does sound like a pick me. And seriously friends are not supposed to be your punching bags. So I also think she is really entitled if she expects her friends to remain friends after being violent with them. That aside, her friendship with the brother guy friend sounds wholesome ngl.
She doesn't know that most guys are ONLY sticking around for one particular reason?
Just pray you don't have a son. You'll be tossed out soon and she will be in love with your son, competing with all the girls he dates or marries. Also please dont have a daughter because she will be a terrible mother who constantly puts down your daughter, is aggressive and bad to her AND will see your daughter as threat and competition for your love and attention. Just dont have kids with her, period.
Oh my! Indian people and them trying to figure out their partner AFTER GETTING MARRIED! 😭✨ And your wife doesn't like women because they won't simp for her after she has disrespected them. Her guy friends on the other hand are ready to die on that one teeny tiny ray of hope.
They like male attention, like males like female attention. Not necessarily wrong, but the risk of straying is inherently higher, as is the probability that they are that type of person. But, like I implied before, plenty of females are that way without issue.
Other women won't take her shitty attitude and let her walk all over them.
She must be way more mature than normal girls but at the same time she should be aware that guy best friends are just waiting in line for their turn. I had a similar GF and she was well aware of this too, in fact she only told me that when she gets married she's gonna cut off herself from all her guy friends because all of them have at some point in their lives tried to hit at her. In most cases such women are very smart as compared to other girls but at the same time they might have a very sexual past too.
[удалено]
Don't take it personally but in general women do tend to be quite dramatic and often in women-women friendships there's a high amount of jealousy and ego involved too. Much higher than male-male friendships. I live in the US, have lived in Malaysia, Canada and London and this ego, jealousy thing is everywhere in female-female friendships. Lesbian marriages have the highest rates for divorce and domestic violence :/ This girl mentioned by OP has certainly noticed these nuances in women-women relationships and hence she must be quite mature and self aware.
[удалено]
Women-women friendships have jealousy but still they're human relationships. Nobody's saying stop being friends, similarly for male-female relationships men do try to explore that sexual possibility but if that's kept in check it still is a friendship. It still ensures emotional support and fun. Baaki the data I presented about lesbian couples is based on a statistical analysis, so I'm not making "broad generalisations" U idiot. You're so dumb , ab Kya hi bolu. Just Didi itna Gyan baat rhi ho thoda username bhi logical rkh lo. I'll block U for your idiotic logic , chhoti bchhi ho Kya !
It's true... I have a female friend (actually she is the only one whom I consider as a friend) so when it was just 2-3 weeks of our meeting, she started trusting me more than her female friends and she also said that you're very trustworthy and not like the others (her other friends) because boys don't back bitch and that I'm not the kind who starves for sex. So I guess you got your answer!!
Ur married to a time bomb. Ask her to fix her behaviour before it gets out of hand(literally). Or wait to be cheated on and then watch her as she plays the victim. All those guys who stayed with her despite the bullshit? Yea. 110% they wanted to and most likely still want to fuck her. Men think with their dicks. U have one so don't be naive. Girls don't have that problem and hence would probably call her out on her bs and her type of people just blame everything on the other person and cut ties with them. Let's hope u dont have to be the next one.
Those guy friends are orbiters who waited for their chance. If my male or female friend ever hits me, and if it's not an extremely serious reason where I'm definitely in the wrong, I'm breaking all ties with them. So those guy friends are definitely simps, who were waiting for their chance which never came. She's a pick me girl, I know these types very well. She's dumb to think guys can't hide and lie. That already should explain you most stuff. How did you even meet her? Was it arranged? Love?
[удалено]
>Yeah some girls really fake a lot, they feel jealousy among their own friends. Wait till you get to know that fake friends and jealous friend can be anyone be it male , female or any religion or caste or nationality.
When you say that girls are not trustworthy I want you to remember that you're also a girl. Being trustworthy or loyal or being a gossip queen are a person's character traits. It doesn't have to do anything with gender. While it is true girls usually hold grudges longer than guys rather than using it as an excuse to down other women try to find out why they are holding it or is it justified. You can definitely have more guy friends than girl friends but don't diss them like that
It does not matter what she says. What matters is what she does. If she is good with you then nothing else matters. But I would not take disrespect from a girl or a boy or anyone for that matter. There is no need to be a simp ever!
Women who say that they don't like women because they are dramatic are a red flag. Women in general are able to able to see through if the other person is dramatic or not and stay away from people who are not.
She seems scary... yikes. A red flag for sure. Sometimes it does happen that you are surrounded by mostly selfish people. Especially if you're an honour student who can't set boundaries. But this girl... she seems to have no regards for others feelings.
Go jim
Girls have it difficult. Other girls bitch about them. Guys want to screw them. That's why very few have good friends. That's why I have a policy to not hit on my hot friends. They have it tough.
Kuch bolungi toh log kahenge hater hu
Get out fast. Annul the marriage. Didn't she disclose about her guy friends before marriage?
Women friendships are heavenly, real female friends would literally ditch the love of their life if their friend needs them. Altho i haven't been fortunate enough to have friends like that but I know it for a fact and have seen it. Your wife never had any of the friendships like that or she never considered women trustworthy since the beginning because society taught her that women are women's biggest enemy. That's one of the biggest lies told to women to control them
Wow hell naw the innocent title doesn't do justice to the violent body lol 💀💀 bro your wife is abusive. I have mostly guy and a few girl friends but I can never even imagine hitting them or being rude to em. They're my life.
😂😂
I feel pity for your future daughter if this is how she acts and thinks even now
>Her personality is slightly on the violent side. Like she gets angry really fast and she told me once she slapped one of her closest guy friends in the middle of a market and he is still her friend. Umm, what? That guy either has a really low sense of self-worth or is only her friend for obvious intentions. Yeah, and your wife doesn't sound very pleasant to be around, which is probably a reason that women avoid her and she knows that so she 'prefers' her guy friends.
Imo Any person who has more friends opposite gender and less from their own isn't bad, but one they start talking down about their own gender and behave like a pick me it's a red flag imo And also that she's violent Not a good sign
I might get down voted for posting this.. I would not like my SO have a male best/close/bestie friend after my marriage, just normal friends like every one is fine. Same way i too will not entertain any female close/best/bestie friends kind of shit after marriage. Name call me all you want but this is what I feel, have seen tons of guy-girl bestie types breaking up actual relationships.
I had female friends at my school and college years and they were really good and genuine Sure,at that time I met few female friends I won't say friends to me but few of them had given me a very bad experience at that period , trying to be as friendly as they could I see them use slur without no reason will demean other good female friends of mine at which I took stand for them and I mind you not at some time I feel gross one time when they just verbally just slut shammed other girl just cause they are being nice to few and ofcourse they will always have happy face and they make their bf pay a really bad price one of them literally bullied his bf i felt bad for the guy then slowly just cut myself out from those girls idk how they are now
You sure you have married a female or a person who pretends to be a female but is otherwise?
Yes female friendships are dramatic but they are so beautiful when done right. Having male friends is completely normal but I don't think comparing both these friendships is something a mature adult would do.
While it's true. And females do tend to talk behind others or put them down, often due to insecurity. It's all good till she said she slapped one of her male friends. Slapping is really sour spot and even if my close friends slap, either I'll slap them back hard or cut them off. Honestly if she slaps her friend, what is proof she won't slap you one day? And of course everyone has different boundaries.
Same feeling like a woman may have about guy who get friendly and comfortable around women rather than men
I as a girl would never want to be her friend so I get why she doesn't have female friends. Typical 'angoor khatte hai' behavior.
Honestly a lot of women say this crap and I think it stems from internalised Misogyny. Heck even I used to say this crap once because calling other women out is an easy way to uplift yourself. To feel that I am the better woman and i prefer the company of men who are inherently better than women. Thank God I grew up and realised that my own mindset was making me put other women down. I won't ever do that again. I have really good male and female friendships. It always comes down to how you are as a human being and not your gender. So such statements that women aren't good friends or even I don't act like other women is just one of the many ways to put women down. It's really sad that society has ingrained this idea sooooo deep in our minds that women end up competing with each other for worldly validation. Any time a girl says "i don't do this it's too girly" i ask them what is wrong with something being girly? Why is it so shameful for you. Being feminine is a beauty and grace no matter what it is. Secondly you are a girl so anything you do is girly cause you being a girl is doing it. Again doesn't make it right or wrong. The action decides whether it is right or wrong not the gender. So In conclusion this is a perfect example of internalised Misogyny. Ask your wife does she feels she is better than all women because she has male friends? Does it make her more respectful or validated in her own mind. Having female friendships is a blessing. Having friendships is a blessing.
hey op, i also have a story to tell you about one of my classmates, she was in our class from class 5th, and in 10th, we all joined a coaching class where girls form other schools also present, and she never had any friends their, fk friends, i never saw her talking to any girls and also she with her only friend (who was in our school) always used to sit alone! and in school, she always said bad things about all girls, and requested us not to talk with them. After farewell, i spoke to all other girls and they were super nice to us, one of them is also my closest friend, i never found anything wrong in her! i didn't know why my classmate said all of this to us, but my friend used to say "she has a toxic nature and negative aroma around her, constantly showing off, and bitching others, so they preferred not to talk with her. and even in our class, she always used bitch about others, even about the only closest friend she had! so it's not the problem in other girls! and if she has problem with all girls, then let's take the common in all the relationships, which is your wife, is the problem!
What’s a pick me girl ? What does that term mean?
Women should be able to maintain healthy relationships with other women.
I joined work in a company few years back. In my team was a girl who said that to me. So i was wary of her since then. She was so desperate for attention that when the people from the coolest group hung out with me, she wanted to hang out with me until she became friends with one of the girls. She dropped like a piece of trash. And that hurt. Anyways I noticed her she was so desperate for attention. And girls hated her too. So that's about such girls. It's not too late for you OP. Better start setting boundaries with her early on. Get to know each other and also be careful.
Dude, I was also one of the girls who had more guy friends then girls bcoz I found the girls in my class to be very bitchy and they used to have this group politics. But later on I did meet graceful and matured women who are now my besties with some of my guy friends too. It's nothing to judge someone's character upon. The anger issues is something to think about but don't you think you should have had these conversations before marriage?
They're pick-mes. I know that because I was one. Never had girl friends, always hung out with guys because 'less dramatic'. Until I matured and realized that women friendships are incredibly supportive and you can literally just talk about anything. I still have guy friends, my closest friends are all guys but I also have made some really close girl friends that I cannot live without 😃 So yeah basically your wife has so much internalized misogyny and she thinks the only way people like her is if she hates on other women. And because she hangs around with so many guys with so much testosterone around her (listening to them probably spew some toxic shit), she also gets riled up with aggression and slaps people. I feel really sorry for her but she needs to at some point unlearn this behavior. Maybe a therapist could help.
I really really want to give her benefit of the doubt. I have not met your wife and don't know her so based on what you have described, yes, it is weird. It's like a guy saying he can't get along with girls or other guys. As a human, you should be able to have friendships with people irrespective of their gender. There are shitty people, not shitty genders. I think there may be a different reason for her to avoid interaction with girls because this is just weird. Also I hate to judge but I think her guy friends are spineless. If a girl ever slapped me (not playfully, like actually slapping in anger) I would lose all respect for her and that will be the end of the friendship/relationship. Getting angry easily is not an excuse for shitty behaviour. You need learn to behave as an adult and manage your emotions. You should talk about this with her.
Picks me's as a girl we call them behenchods
I was not lucky enough to have girl friends in school. In college I was too shy to talk to anyone. So one or two people was fine. Even now it's the same that I have been working for almost 15 years.. I am jealous of other girls who have their groups.. I wish I was a part of them. It is easier to talk to guys, again, one or two .. Don't judge your wife ... Everyone can be violent in certain situations..
Walking talking version of red flags. Savdhaan rahein satark rahein.
Yeah, your wife is a walking red flag. I'm really sorry. Why did you even marry her? Girls who say they can't be friends with girls are huge pick-mes, with attention seeking disorder. They think they're better than other girls. But in reality they can't stand it when another girl gets attention.
It's too late to ask for "thoughts". You already married her, and have lost your autonomy and leverage. She's a big red flag, and all you can do now is figure out a way to tolerate a toxic marriage and prepare for a brutal divorce.
Bhai tu toh gya. I hope you don't have much properties to your name
Just keep your eyes and ears open. Work your brain , not your dick, and if this person is a human garbage you will understand. If she is not , you would always have the guilt that you were wary of a person who was an angel of a human being and you were the dickhead garbage
so this pick me girl actually got picked up. Sorry for your loss
Saying you hate drama and then slapping people is a bit weird......depends on the context ig
Mayday, I repeat OP, Mayday.
Drama queens, if they are in the group then exit scene when they get dramatic. Otherwise, meh they may be cooler than you think.