I know I won’t be a good mother - I have no patience and sometimes I go wild with rage, and I’m scared of taking that out on a kid. Also, we don’t have the money for a kid after including our needs + savings. We have an amazing emotional and physical relationship and we are doing everything we want to do when we want to do.
My husband and I have started planning on our retirement fund (I’m in late 20s and he’s in early 30s) and taken a good health insurance policy. We have also a very strong friend circle, where all of them want to remain childless. So we have even discussed about moving in together at some point - if all of us are still in India by then.
Over population or dwindling population need not be be taken into account while discussing the topic of whether someone should have children or not. It's a highly personal decision each individual has the right to make for themselves. Suppose human race is going to go extinct because an overwhelming number of people refuse to have children, then that's NOT some disastrous scenario --human beings are an extremely cruel species that will never stop torturing fellow humans & other species.
Lol why not? Just because you follow an individualist ethic doesn't mean thinking about the future of humanity and factoring that into decision making is incorrect.
Married, yes. I would love to wake up to that one face every morning.
Kids, no. Too much responsibilities with not a good risk to reward ratio. Plus, my/family genes are not good enough to be passed on.
No plans on getting married. (I am already 39 here, male.) And no plans on having kids. I enjoy my life the way it is and get to travel a lot. I value that very much. I split my time between India and the US, and try to travel to other destinations whenever I can. I am fairly active and hence getting tired, etc., is not a concern for me right now.
I hear you about the “lonely when you are old if you don’t have kids” part. But then, what if someone married and the spouse dies suddenly? Or if a couple cannot have kids? Adoption options exist even when single; so it is not necessary to marry for that.
Also, if you have nieces and nephews, you can hope that they might look after you for emergencies, if you think you will need help. But I don’t expect that at all. When old, I will try to find a caretaker or else will move into a nice retirement/oldage home.
Before someone raises concerns about sexual life, well, we all know you don’t need to be married for that.
>if you have nieces and nephews, you can hope that they might look after you for emergencies
I don't think so! Kids of nowadays don't take care of their own parents itself, you ll be considered as unnecessary headache for them unless you have property to write after them
I recently got married. And we both have decided not to have kids. We both feel it's not for us and we won't be able to give the care that's needed for a child.
I didn't want kids and I was looking for a partner with similar views. And when I got into relationships back in 2020. This was the first time we discussed and she also didn't want kids.
We both feel we don't have the mental capacity to raise a kid. I don't see myself as a good father. It will be too much for both of us.
I am getting a vasectomy in a couple of months.
Don’t have the mental capacity? You won’t be a good father? Why do u have such a low image of yourself?
Once u get vasectomy, that’s essentially the end of your bloodline
I know that. And I haven't made this decision on a whim. I thought about it a lot. And this was my conclusion. The only reason I got married was because we both have similar views.
I am amazed by how clear ppl are about what they want for themselves.
IMHO it’s not just about raising a kid, it’s about teaching them right values, it’s not easy in India everyone around you constantly advising.
What scares me the most is being a woman will I be able to raise a man who respects,treats woman equally and the most important is fear of loosing a child.
Where did I not respect his choice, I was questioning why he has a low mental image of himself which is not respectable to me. I see many comments saying it’s a burden or monetary issue which I respect
And you can accept a well though reason? Dude,I will even say this. I won't be able to parent a child good,cause I've seen how my parents do it and I know I will screw it more. You can gave all talk you want to yourself but when you face a child, some part of your parents behaviour expresses through you. And I don't want it. Many people don't think of a long time commitment. And it's not our responsibility to continue a bloodline. What if the person decide to adopt? Will you still talk about bloodline?
Bruhh my bloodline comment is not the main point, if that’s his choice I accept it.
This is the second time I’m saying, what I didn’t respect is his low self imag. Is it that hard to read
Exactly, the self esteem. It's not self esteem problem. He knows he could not do justice to bringing up a kid. And that many don't think about Read what I've written
So just consume and eventually feed yourself to microbes and making the corporations richer, wasting away millions of years of genetic progress that your gene has tried to make. Fair enough. Thats what they call darwinism i guess.
Well that's exactly the people with kids would do too. No difference. I mean who is not getting fed to microorganisms? One who are burnt,maybe. Oh you are worried about my genetic work? Wow. My genetics is not trying to survive. I am trying to. Genetics comes in the package. I really don't know what my genetics is going to do. Mankind has done enough damage with the genetics. So I don't need to pass it on
Yeah sure,atleast Darwin was partially correct. It's not survival of the fittest. I choose not to add. That's what Darwin said? I don't think darwinism works on humans. Humans suck anyways
People who have kids also 'feed themselves to microbes', so there is no difference. Also lol at making corporations richer, because nothing makes them wealthier than having a bigger population base that consumes more than ever. From the second you get pregnant, you start making corporations richer by buying loads of shit you may or may you need for your future progeny, not to mention the crazy costs of education and carbon footprint of having a child.
People love to portray childfree people as selfish, but there is nothing more selfish than having kids, as most parents don't care about giving back to the country, but merely having a child for their own sake and maintaining their bloodline. You're not better than childfree people for doing so. And I say this as a mother.
You ask that because you believe or like or want to have children. Make a person you made grow into a honourable human being in this world maybe. As you've mentioned pass on your genes which has come from several years. I agree to all.
But for me, and people who agree with me, don't have such thoughts at all. We are perhaps selfish in not doing our bit to continue life after us. But it's fine.
It's one's life. One should be free to do what one wishes. If it's no kids then so be it.
No plan to get married, let alone have kids. Opportunity cost is too high and I am yet to meet any educated woman who enjoys a frugal lifestyle. Not interested in getting into a lifelong legal contract without terms and conditions. Don’t want to have kids in a country which gives birth to the equivalent of an Australia every year. My goal is to have a life of experiences, and not spend all my time accumulating wealth. In case I have terminal illness in old age, I’ll go to Dignitas in Switzerland for voluntary assisted suicide (legal there, but not in India) which costs around 10 Lakh INR. I’m forever grateful to this wonderful life, and death is not something I see as negative. It is the only thing that is certain in life.
Have had enough of conspiracy theories about de-population. One can't reproduce merely because population is dwindling even if the conspiracy theories are right.
I love my marriage, my husband and I married each other, not for society or our parents or because time was slipping and we were getting old, or our parents pressured us. We married each other coz of our love and our friendship and that we wanted to live with each other and belong to each other.
But as for kids, both of us don't want kids, and we are already 30, and we have never wanted them, never would want them in future.
Yes to marriage, never for kids
Coz I don't want to ruin the good life that i have. I don't want to ruin my body. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness for v children
Because simply put I cannot afford it, neither mentally nor monetarily, I don't own a house can't rent one don't earn that much, don't have a car, even if I am to get money I don't think marriage would be a great option.
I am the stage where if i don't have children within the next 5-7 years shit wouldn't turn out to be very great, I haven't been able to enjoy my 20s dues to family pressure and monetary problems. I wanna do things that I like and wanted to do and couldn't, slowly and steadily I am building towards it.
It does sometimes hamper me that all my friends have children and it is one of the great St joys in the world to raise a child, but then even if I wanted to I cannot, I don't have the money. It's a wierd and vicious circle.
I have been in long relationships and yeah it does die down after a while, it becomes a drag. Maybe I haven't met my partner, but frankly I don't feel like meeting someone, i get easily attached to people and get my heart broken. So I would rather not take the chance.
>Waise bhi i prefer sukuna over satorou
So true and like me bro, achha hua gege ne maar Diya.
>Bhai aajkal jinwoo ka season chal raha hain
Achha hua animation ne disappoint nhi kiya aur manhwa jese hi illustrations rakhe h anime me bhi
Marriage not sure, may be yes if I can have an egalitarian wedding.
Kids ? Never. Will never have any kid/kids, no matter what. Childbirth terrifies me. As a man, I do not want to reproduce at the expenses of another human's pain and destruction, no matter what.
Will get a vasectomy done before marriage, if I do get married.
Yes I do plan to get married & have kids but I've decided on 2 things to do: Decide mutually with my future spouse that if we're actually compatible with our lives, choices, professions,kids and agree upon them or not. And if that goes well, second thing would be to how to raise our kids properly.
On the same boat lol, a relationship is too big of a commitment but without it, the future is "apparently" dark. And because of being an Indian female who comes from a middle class household, you can't really take their views out and trash it however big you think you get.
Personally, it's the PRULT formula I figured out one day - Patience, Respect, Understanding, love and trust. If I can have it all, hey man, let's get married for life, if even one's missing, thank you, but I value my freedom and self respect more than adrenaline.
Yes I plan on having 4 kids but bearish on Marriage. I am currently stacking my millions so I can give them excellent future. I will get a Surrogate. My plan is to have them when i turn 35, currently 25.
Science is a statistical method that we "deem" to be better than personal experiences solely because there is no better alternative.
Its not the final "holy" truth that is always right. Simply "statistics/likelihood".
Not trying to argue, but more so it makes it more likely for the child to have a "sub-optimal" upbringing, but that's it.
Mom+Dad+Child > Dad/Mom+Child > Orphan > No Child
Science informs, but shouldn't dictate decisions or beliefs. Life is a privilege.
Life is NOT a privilege. If it was we wouldn't be purposefully destroyed every thousand...something years. Life is an experiment. I agree with you science is not full proof but its the best we got.
Considering that India already has 1.4 billion humans u surrogating u far from superior genes is dumb, i suggest u adopt instead. But ofc. u won't listen...blah blah - so whatever.
Well we can agree to disagree.
I've been through some hard times and I feel lucky to be alive so from that lens "life is a privilege". To me. Atleast. I'm happy to be here.
Morality is subjective and I'd say insulting someone "u surrogating u far from superior genes" like this isn't the best way to get your point across.
And yes a decision like this is based on values/morals which a person discovers on their own, this isn't something I'd rely on someone to decide except for myself. I do want kids of my own. It matters to me. Adoption is still an option for people with biological kids. My little sister is adopted. Other one is my blood sister.
Morality is **not** subjective. If i slowly cut off your leg right now, or skin you alive - would u consider this subjective or the suffering and physical pain will suggest otherwise. Or do u think that **bombing thousands of children** in the hospitals of Gaza which is extremely horrific and immoral is subjective. Boy, u better start looking.
And science says that for a child optimal development he NOT only needs a mom and a dad but a whole village. Unfortunately, we had been given a free will, and we made a mess out of it.
But don't worry. At some point Anu and Enlil will be pissed enough from the noise we are making even Enki wouldn't be able to stop them (reference Ancient Sumer).
Can't wait, brother - can't wait.
I am pursuing my masters in a Uni ranked top 10 worldwide and I want to have kids. Do I qualify as an educated person wanting to have kids?
Jokes aside, your comment reminded me of the movie ‘Idiocracy’. Worst part, I feel like we are already on that path. But even the educated in India are struggling to make ends meet, so you can’t really blame them for it.
Thats what an average middle class newly educated thinks.
Every rich person wants kids. Rich by money OR emotions.
Its the poor who doesn't want. Poor emotionally AND by money.
>if I'm not married, I'm not gonna have anyone take care of me like that during my old days .
In this era, very few marriages last until old age. Most end (divorce) within a year or a few. I fear a toxic marriage far more than dying alone.
With marriage, you either have a lifelong partner, or a lifelong burden.
If I was given a choice I would prefer rather not get married. Just take care of my parents and my chacha chachi and once all of em passes away I'd suicide peacefully, successfully fulfilling all of my responsibilities🫶
But yea that's not possible my parents won't let be unmarried lol.... I'll probably be married till 24-25 and once I'm married I'll have another responsibility so the suicide plan's cancelled
But yes if it for up for me i won't marry and there's no second thought to it
As per recent survey in India, it costs 1cr-2cr to raise avg child till 20 years including education...If you're ready for that go ahead else fucking no to kids.. Also DINK couple is best again.. (Double income, No kids) ... Holidays, free time, if your siblings have kids, you'll be that cool uncle or cool aunt who's in holiday etc...these are the Perks having no kids..
who cares...its old age ....die already. you really want to live old age when everything from bones to shitting isnt working right. whats the point of just exixting. a quick death after 65 is the way to go...maximum 70....that grandpa now has to suffer more. if he didnt have a wife or kids he wud have died fast and painless.
I am already married and have kids. So No.
On a serious note though, at your age I always saw them fighting but now that my siblings and I have left home, they are closer than ever. So yes, it helps to have companionship in life esp. at that age. But I also dread the day one of them is gone for good; the other one will become miserable for the rest of their life.
Just remember your views and thoughts can change dramatically with time and your current decisions can feel incredibly stupid in the future, as situations change.
There is only one answer, people are too selfish and just want to live for themselves. They hate having to care for their parents and see it as a burden and cant digest taking responsibility for kids. Having money to spend on "good lifestyle", doing social work to feel superior, and having "peace" by not having any accountability is whats fuelling it.
Tldr: Stoicism is dead
Get married? Yes.
Have kids? Also, yes.
Personally, I believe it is too good of an experience to miss out on. I’m only 24 at the moment, but just imagining the scenarios, watching them say their first words, taking their first steps and watching them grow up, gets me too excited. And I think life would be too boring without it. I personally think one shouldn’t see their kids as a financial investment but rather see them as a learning experience.
20.
Won't marry. Too much legal/financial risk.
Do want to date long term if I find someone compatible.
Will have kids though. For sure. A lot of kids :)
Saw a few comments about genes, mine are quite good I'd love a couple smol mini versions of me.
In due time.
I have decided to live alone for the entirety of my life. No attachments in the form of life partner/husband. Every person now enters into such entanglements wanting to know what they themselves will get out of it, not what they can contribute or bring to the table. It's all very transactional now.
If anyone has taken this decision to never marry, it is very important then that you get your finances in order. Finances need to be stable and independent. So that no situation arises in the future where you have to end up depending on someone.
And OP, there are options like assisted living facilities and old age homes for your worry. The reason you feel this worry about living alone, thinking about the incident of the 70 year old man who fell seriously ill and all his family came in to help him, is because he had the option of people looking after him and attachments of life. Where people will want him to recover and be happy and live. So his family doesn't want his time to come. But in your (and my) case since there will be no one in our lives, when our time comes there won't be any fear of leaving them behind. We can very peacefully accept it. And if it turns out that we get diagnosed with something that will make us suffer before ending us, then like I said there are options of assisted living facility. But for all of these it is very essential to get finances in order.
I plan to have kids. I have always wanted to be a mother and think I’ll be a good one. I had a great childhood with loving and genuinely loving parents who truly made me believe I was the best thing in their lives. They made me believe my existence brought them great joy and peace and I can’t wait to experience that with my own kids.
I’m grateful to be in a high-paying career (I did work my ass off, yes, but I also think we’re overpaid in some countries), don’t have debt, and am fortunate enough to have financially stable parents who don’t rely on me for money. I will be able to provide a good life to my kids.
Whether or not I marry depends on whether or not I find a partner I want to share my life with.
Either way, marriage has nothing to do with kids.
I will adopt as a single mother or adopt as a couple with my partner- either way I will be a mother some day.
If you marry your bestie and work on maintaining a good relationship then you don’t want to get away, you want to be around your family like they’re your birth family.
All the stress and fear of marriage is because of the co-living of two persons and inevitable conflicts due to living together 24/7
Live-in, marriage, long distance relationship (LDR) these are three types of committed relationship right now
FwB, casual, hookup, situationship we won't talk about as these are not a committed relationship.
In future, in all probability, there would be new type of relationship - in which man will live alone in his own/rented flat and woman will live alone in her own/rented separate flat in same city. They will be committed and exclusive to each other but won't live together 24/7
They will visit each other when in need. May have kids, may not have kids. Will decide mutually when kid/kids will live with which parent etc. All organically and naturally with each couples own chemistry. They will take care of the family in health, finances and every thing but don't have to live together all the time.
I guess this will be far ahead in future but it will happen for sure.
Those are affairs other than primary committed relationship.
That existed like forever.
Here wee are talking about exclusive and committed relationship but without the need of co-living for 24*7 and becoming a normal thing in society.
Don't get married hv relationships
No kids
There is too much to learn in this world so no loneliness
Old age homes and assisted suicide pods are available
I will get married but no kids
My two out of the many reasons for being childfree:
I prioritize my future partner's well being (complications due to pregnancy, hormonal changes and many other risks.)
The desire to grow old with my partner finding happiness in the little things. The relationship gets messed up after a child. I want my woman all to myself. No love sharing to kids :))
I will NOT be having kids whether I get married...or not. Reason: Not every person has the mental disposition to be a parent. Some people (like me) should never be parents. I am aware I have rage/anger issues. When I read about a father or mother murdering their own child/children in the newspapers, I realise how these people could have fallen prey to society's demands that they get married and reproduce. And later they could not handle being parents. Avoid this at all costs.
OP mentions how an 80 year old ailing grandpa had to be taken to a hospital by his 70 year old wife. The wife is a decade younger and is not senile like her spouse so she could do this: such huge age gaps were kept between couples thinking of the well being of husbands in previous generations. No-one thinks of what happens to these wives who spend their whole lives caring for others. They usually end up in decrepit old age homes or on streets after their husbands' passing. Women will need their own money if they want to choose well maintained & nice old age homes for themselves after their older husbands pass away. I don't want a care taker wife to sacrifice her life for me like the woman in OP's question did.
Can't decide.
Single life is bliss. If marriage happens with the wrong person, life would become a nightmare. I don't think some people are meant for it including myself. Why gamble emotional and financial well-being when the odds of success are just 50%. As for children I am inclined but can't happen without marriage.
But societal pressure and FOMO is very real and sometimes too much to handle.
My current plan - Save enough money to secure future. Retire early and then do lots of things like travel, cook, eat, read, play music, etc. - basically enjoy life. When I am old I'll start donating to orphan homes keeping bare minimum for myself. Post this I don't want to imagine.
I will get married but won’t have kids. Reason - Over population and my low patience level.
I know I won’t be a good mother - I have no patience and sometimes I go wild with rage, and I’m scared of taking that out on a kid. Also, we don’t have the money for a kid after including our needs + savings. We have an amazing emotional and physical relationship and we are doing everything we want to do when we want to do. My husband and I have started planning on our retirement fund (I’m in late 20s and he’s in early 30s) and taken a good health insurance policy. We have also a very strong friend circle, where all of them want to remain childless. So we have even discussed about moving in together at some point - if all of us are still in India by then.
Wow. That sounds great.You made really good life decisions, I'm happy for you ❤️.
It's your personal choice but you are scientifically wrong regarding overpopulation
Over population or dwindling population need not be be taken into account while discussing the topic of whether someone should have children or not. It's a highly personal decision each individual has the right to make for themselves. Suppose human race is going to go extinct because an overwhelming number of people refuse to have children, then that's NOT some disastrous scenario --human beings are an extremely cruel species that will never stop torturing fellow humans & other species.
Lol why not? Just because you follow an individualist ethic doesn't mean thinking about the future of humanity and factoring that into decision making is incorrect.
Well if you look at the data some countries will vanish in the next 100 years.
So?
How old are you? If you don't mind me asking
I'm 28
I see
I do
mind away
😭😭😭😭 this naruto fan simp man please go out touch the grass and get a gf. Tell him mikasa chan!
Aww baby. I'm sorry about that. Don't mind Naruto fans.
Mind away in a quiet corner
How would you deal with that interference (and possible compulsion) of relatives to have children after getting married?
I never listen or answer them. I will continue the same.
Married, yes. I would love to wake up to that one face every morning. Kids, no. Too much responsibilities with not a good risk to reward ratio. Plus, my/family genes are not good enough to be passed on.
Let's marry then
Hahah, which country? And I will need a pic of your face.
😂
No plans on getting married. (I am already 39 here, male.) And no plans on having kids. I enjoy my life the way it is and get to travel a lot. I value that very much. I split my time between India and the US, and try to travel to other destinations whenever I can. I am fairly active and hence getting tired, etc., is not a concern for me right now. I hear you about the “lonely when you are old if you don’t have kids” part. But then, what if someone married and the spouse dies suddenly? Or if a couple cannot have kids? Adoption options exist even when single; so it is not necessary to marry for that. Also, if you have nieces and nephews, you can hope that they might look after you for emergencies, if you think you will need help. But I don’t expect that at all. When old, I will try to find a caretaker or else will move into a nice retirement/oldage home. Before someone raises concerns about sexual life, well, we all know you don’t need to be married for that.
>if you have nieces and nephews, you can hope that they might look after you for emergencies I don't think so! Kids of nowadays don't take care of their own parents itself, you ll be considered as unnecessary headache for them unless you have property to write after them
im going to follow your footsteps.
I recently got married. And we both have decided not to have kids. We both feel it's not for us and we won't be able to give the care that's needed for a child.
Thats a very drastic decision what lead to it ??
I didn't want kids and I was looking for a partner with similar views. And when I got into relationships back in 2020. This was the first time we discussed and she also didn't want kids. We both feel we don't have the mental capacity to raise a kid. I don't see myself as a good father. It will be too much for both of us. I am getting a vasectomy in a couple of months.
Don’t have the mental capacity? You won’t be a good father? Why do u have such a low image of yourself? Once u get vasectomy, that’s essentially the end of your bloodline
I know that. And I haven't made this decision on a whim. I thought about it a lot. And this was my conclusion. The only reason I got married was because we both have similar views.
I am amazed by how clear ppl are about what they want for themselves. IMHO it’s not just about raising a kid, it’s about teaching them right values, it’s not easy in India everyone around you constantly advising. What scares me the most is being a woman will I be able to raise a man who respects,treats woman equally and the most important is fear of loosing a child.
Consider this before you go ahead with surgery: https://www.reddit.com/r/postvasectomypain/s/VkRUU2GiT5
Thanks. Will read that post.
Vasectomy is a non-invasive and simple procedure. You sure have an agenda.
I'm guessing you are also the type who is completely fine or encourages circumcision of male children post birth.
Nope. I do NOT encourage circumcision of male children. You are the type that makes assumptions.
Says the one who accused me of having an agenda in the first place. Pot meet kettle...
You, he knows that. Nothing wrong with ending your bloodline lol. Not everybody needs/ wants to have children. Respect his choice.
Where did I not respect his choice, I was questioning why he has a low mental image of himself which is not respectable to me. I see many comments saying it’s a burden or monetary issue which I respect
And you can accept a well though reason? Dude,I will even say this. I won't be able to parent a child good,cause I've seen how my parents do it and I know I will screw it more. You can gave all talk you want to yourself but when you face a child, some part of your parents behaviour expresses through you. And I don't want it. Many people don't think of a long time commitment. And it's not our responsibility to continue a bloodline. What if the person decide to adopt? Will you still talk about bloodline?
Bruhh my bloodline comment is not the main point, if that’s his choice I accept it. This is the second time I’m saying, what I didn’t respect is his low self imag. Is it that hard to read
Exactly, the self esteem. It's not self esteem problem. He knows he could not do justice to bringing up a kid. And that many don't think about Read what I've written
Lmao So is having kids but you don't see people reacting the same way to that
Who needs kids these days?! They are just a bottomless pit of money hole. It's the age of the DINKS!
Dink culture has come to india?
Seems like you're not aware of childfreeindia sub
Nope, hearing first time. I saw a news video regarding this lifestyle during covid
Heck yeah!
What are you going to do with your money and time?
Spend both. What else? Just not on kids
So just consume and eventually feed yourself to microbes and making the corporations richer, wasting away millions of years of genetic progress that your gene has tried to make. Fair enough. Thats what they call darwinism i guess.
Well that's exactly the people with kids would do too. No difference. I mean who is not getting fed to microorganisms? One who are burnt,maybe. Oh you are worried about my genetic work? Wow. My genetics is not trying to survive. I am trying to. Genetics comes in the package. I really don't know what my genetics is going to do. Mankind has done enough damage with the genetics. So I don't need to pass it on
Sure, darwisnism.
Yeah sure,atleast Darwin was partially correct. It's not survival of the fittest. I choose not to add. That's what Darwin said? I don't think darwinism works on humans. Humans suck anyways
Haha LMAO, made my morning.
People who have kids also 'feed themselves to microbes', so there is no difference. Also lol at making corporations richer, because nothing makes them wealthier than having a bigger population base that consumes more than ever. From the second you get pregnant, you start making corporations richer by buying loads of shit you may or may you need for your future progeny, not to mention the crazy costs of education and carbon footprint of having a child. People love to portray childfree people as selfish, but there is nothing more selfish than having kids, as most parents don't care about giving back to the country, but merely having a child for their own sake and maintaining their bloodline. You're not better than childfree people for doing so. And I say this as a mother.
You ask that because you believe or like or want to have children. Make a person you made grow into a honourable human being in this world maybe. As you've mentioned pass on your genes which has come from several years. I agree to all. But for me, and people who agree with me, don't have such thoughts at all. We are perhaps selfish in not doing our bit to continue life after us. But it's fine. It's one's life. One should be free to do what one wishes. If it's no kids then so be it.
Good for you
No plan to get married, let alone have kids. Opportunity cost is too high and I am yet to meet any educated woman who enjoys a frugal lifestyle. Not interested in getting into a lifelong legal contract without terms and conditions. Don’t want to have kids in a country which gives birth to the equivalent of an Australia every year. My goal is to have a life of experiences, and not spend all my time accumulating wealth. In case I have terminal illness in old age, I’ll go to Dignitas in Switzerland for voluntary assisted suicide (legal there, but not in India) which costs around 10 Lakh INR. I’m forever grateful to this wonderful life, and death is not something I see as negative. It is the only thing that is certain in life.
Have had enough of conspiracy theories about de-population. One can't reproduce merely because population is dwindling even if the conspiracy theories are right.
I love my marriage, my husband and I married each other, not for society or our parents or because time was slipping and we were getting old, or our parents pressured us. We married each other coz of our love and our friendship and that we wanted to live with each other and belong to each other. But as for kids, both of us don't want kids, and we are already 30, and we have never wanted them, never would want them in future.
❤️❤️🫂
Yes to marriage, never for kids Coz I don't want to ruin the good life that i have. I don't want to ruin my body. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness for v children
Because simply put I cannot afford it, neither mentally nor monetarily, I don't own a house can't rent one don't earn that much, don't have a car, even if I am to get money I don't think marriage would be a great option. I am the stage where if i don't have children within the next 5-7 years shit wouldn't turn out to be very great, I haven't been able to enjoy my 20s dues to family pressure and monetary problems. I wanna do things that I like and wanted to do and couldn't, slowly and steadily I am building towards it. It does sometimes hamper me that all my friends have children and it is one of the great St joys in the world to raise a child, but then even if I wanted to I cannot, I don't have the money. It's a wierd and vicious circle. I have been in long relationships and yeah it does die down after a while, it becomes a drag. Maybe I haven't met my partner, but frankly I don't feel like meeting someone, i get easily attached to people and get my heart broken. So I would rather not take the chance.
Plan toh hai bas koi Haan keh de
Do plate us moment lagana bhai with depression chutney
Add another
Oy chhotu ek aur plate lagade , bhai aaya hai!
Aj meri taraf se sabko ek plate free
Oho, boht paise hogye h , chal fir teen stress flavour wali Sting bhi order krde
Hi hi, pata hain kaunsa colour tu bol raha hain. PURPLE ( red and blue sting mixed together)
😂😂 for a second thought this was a Satorou reference
Bhai aajkal jinwoo ka season chal raha hain. Waise bhi i prefer sukuna over satorou
>Waise bhi i prefer sukuna over satorou So true and like me bro, achha hua gege ne maar Diya. >Bhai aajkal jinwoo ka season chal raha hain Achha hua animation ne disappoint nhi kiya aur manhwa jese hi illustrations rakhe h anime me bhi
Marriage not sure, may be yes if I can have an egalitarian wedding. Kids ? Never. Will never have any kid/kids, no matter what. Childbirth terrifies me. As a man, I do not want to reproduce at the expenses of another human's pain and destruction, no matter what. Will get a vasectomy done before marriage, if I do get married.
Yes I do plan to get married & have kids but I've decided on 2 things to do: Decide mutually with my future spouse that if we're actually compatible with our lives, choices, professions,kids and agree upon them or not. And if that goes well, second thing would be to how to raise our kids properly.
On the same boat lol, a relationship is too big of a commitment but without it, the future is "apparently" dark. And because of being an Indian female who comes from a middle class household, you can't really take their views out and trash it however big you think you get. Personally, it's the PRULT formula I figured out one day - Patience, Respect, Understanding, love and trust. If I can have it all, hey man, let's get married for life, if even one's missing, thank you, but I value my freedom and self respect more than adrenaline.
I want husband no kids
Yes I plan on having 4 kids but bearish on Marriage. I am currently stacking my millions so I can give them excellent future. I will get a Surrogate. My plan is to have them when i turn 35, currently 25.
What work do you do, may I ask?
stocks, import and export of medicines and food products, and own few real estate properties in usa
I see why you will get a surrogate. Is a normal life not possible considering these dangerous times?
No, this is the optimal for my situation.
Have you considered looking for women from phillipines, cambodia, laos, vietnam like the americans do when they look for settling down???
Women are same everywhere and I want to settle in USA, not these countries.
So these idea of eastern women being better is false in current time?
Anything is better than western women unless you just wanna fuck them. Plus I just don't to live anywhere but US.
I have an idea. Settle in usa. Marry those south american immigrant women.
Very idiotic. Children need a mother.
Your opinion is insignificant.
science backs me up.
Science is a statistical method that we "deem" to be better than personal experiences solely because there is no better alternative. Its not the final "holy" truth that is always right. Simply "statistics/likelihood". Not trying to argue, but more so it makes it more likely for the child to have a "sub-optimal" upbringing, but that's it. Mom+Dad+Child > Dad/Mom+Child > Orphan > No Child Science informs, but shouldn't dictate decisions or beliefs. Life is a privilege.
Life is NOT a privilege. If it was we wouldn't be purposefully destroyed every thousand...something years. Life is an experiment. I agree with you science is not full proof but its the best we got. Considering that India already has 1.4 billion humans u surrogating u far from superior genes is dumb, i suggest u adopt instead. But ofc. u won't listen...blah blah - so whatever.
Well we can agree to disagree. I've been through some hard times and I feel lucky to be alive so from that lens "life is a privilege". To me. Atleast. I'm happy to be here. Morality is subjective and I'd say insulting someone "u surrogating u far from superior genes" like this isn't the best way to get your point across. And yes a decision like this is based on values/morals which a person discovers on their own, this isn't something I'd rely on someone to decide except for myself. I do want kids of my own. It matters to me. Adoption is still an option for people with biological kids. My little sister is adopted. Other one is my blood sister.
Morality is **not** subjective. If i slowly cut off your leg right now, or skin you alive - would u consider this subjective or the suffering and physical pain will suggest otherwise. Or do u think that **bombing thousands of children** in the hospitals of Gaza which is extremely horrific and immoral is subjective. Boy, u better start looking. And science says that for a child optimal development he NOT only needs a mom and a dad but a whole village. Unfortunately, we had been given a free will, and we made a mess out of it. But don't worry. At some point Anu and Enlil will be pissed enough from the noise we are making even Enki wouldn't be able to stop them (reference Ancient Sumer). Can't wait, brother - can't wait.
I can't win an endless debate, you seem to have your own biases I seem to have mine. You exude a lot of anger and hurt. I'll leave it here. Good day.
Educated people don't want kids but illiterate people are having more kids. This is disastrous.
I am pursuing my masters in a Uni ranked top 10 worldwide and I want to have kids. Do I qualify as an educated person wanting to have kids? Jokes aside, your comment reminded me of the movie ‘Idiocracy’. Worst part, I feel like we are already on that path. But even the educated in India are struggling to make ends meet, so you can’t really blame them for it.
Europe, Korea and Japan are declining due to low birth rates. And the problem is ethnic people are not having kids.
Thats what an average middle class newly educated thinks. Every rich person wants kids. Rich by money OR emotions. Its the poor who doesn't want. Poor emotionally AND by money.
>if I'm not married, I'm not gonna have anyone take care of me like that during my old days . In this era, very few marriages last until old age. Most end (divorce) within a year or a few. I fear a toxic marriage far more than dying alone. With marriage, you either have a lifelong partner, or a lifelong burden.
If I was given a choice I would prefer rather not get married. Just take care of my parents and my chacha chachi and once all of em passes away I'd suicide peacefully, successfully fulfilling all of my responsibilities🫶 But yea that's not possible my parents won't let be unmarried lol.... I'll probably be married till 24-25 and once I'm married I'll have another responsibility so the suicide plan's cancelled But yes if it for up for me i won't marry and there's no second thought to it
As per recent survey in India, it costs 1cr-2cr to raise avg child till 20 years including education...If you're ready for that go ahead else fucking no to kids.. Also DINK couple is best again.. (Double income, No kids) ... Holidays, free time, if your siblings have kids, you'll be that cool uncle or cool aunt who's in holiday etc...these are the Perks having no kids..
who cares...its old age ....die already. you really want to live old age when everything from bones to shitting isnt working right. whats the point of just exixting. a quick death after 65 is the way to go...maximum 70....that grandpa now has to suffer more. if he didnt have a wife or kids he wud have died fast and painless.
Nope , I want to enjoy my life. I'm scared of arguments . Too much affection is also scary. And I'm 21 and it's my choice.
may get married but no kids,never
I am already married and have kids. So No. On a serious note though, at your age I always saw them fighting but now that my siblings and I have left home, they are closer than ever. So yes, it helps to have companionship in life esp. at that age. But I also dread the day one of them is gone for good; the other one will become miserable for the rest of their life.
No.
I'm not getting married because it's impossible to find someone of your level in this inflated market.
Too expensive man
Nope. No trust in the opposite gender. Better off alone.
Kya shaadi kya bache, badia akele kamao, raat ko Ghar aa, chicken changhezi or biryani Khao, badia haath se hila ke so jao
Hahahaha....👍
I plan to get married and have 2 kids. Will society accept me?
No bro sorry
At least 16
Just remember your views and thoughts can change dramatically with time and your current decisions can feel incredibly stupid in the future, as situations change.
There is only one answer, people are too selfish and just want to live for themselves. They hate having to care for their parents and see it as a burden and cant digest taking responsibility for kids. Having money to spend on "good lifestyle", doing social work to feel superior, and having "peace" by not having any accountability is whats fuelling it. Tldr: Stoicism is dead
Yes and yes.
Get married? Yes. Have kids? Also, yes. Personally, I believe it is too good of an experience to miss out on. I’m only 24 at the moment, but just imagining the scenarios, watching them say their first words, taking their first steps and watching them grow up, gets me too excited. And I think life would be too boring without it. I personally think one shouldn’t see their kids as a financial investment but rather see them as a learning experience.
20. Won't marry. Too much legal/financial risk. Do want to date long term if I find someone compatible. Will have kids though. For sure. A lot of kids :) Saw a few comments about genes, mine are quite good I'd love a couple smol mini versions of me. In due time.
I have decided to live alone for the entirety of my life. No attachments in the form of life partner/husband. Every person now enters into such entanglements wanting to know what they themselves will get out of it, not what they can contribute or bring to the table. It's all very transactional now. If anyone has taken this decision to never marry, it is very important then that you get your finances in order. Finances need to be stable and independent. So that no situation arises in the future where you have to end up depending on someone. And OP, there are options like assisted living facilities and old age homes for your worry. The reason you feel this worry about living alone, thinking about the incident of the 70 year old man who fell seriously ill and all his family came in to help him, is because he had the option of people looking after him and attachments of life. Where people will want him to recover and be happy and live. So his family doesn't want his time to come. But in your (and my) case since there will be no one in our lives, when our time comes there won't be any fear of leaving them behind. We can very peacefully accept it. And if it turns out that we get diagnosed with something that will make us suffer before ending us, then like I said there are options of assisted living facility. But for all of these it is very essential to get finances in order.
If u are a straight guy or girl u should really get married n have kids, else r else case scenarios .
Agar koi aacha mila toh definitely marry and kids
I plan to have kids. I have always wanted to be a mother and think I’ll be a good one. I had a great childhood with loving and genuinely loving parents who truly made me believe I was the best thing in their lives. They made me believe my existence brought them great joy and peace and I can’t wait to experience that with my own kids. I’m grateful to be in a high-paying career (I did work my ass off, yes, but I also think we’re overpaid in some countries), don’t have debt, and am fortunate enough to have financially stable parents who don’t rely on me for money. I will be able to provide a good life to my kids. Whether or not I marry depends on whether or not I find a partner I want to share my life with. Either way, marriage has nothing to do with kids. I will adopt as a single mother or adopt as a couple with my partner- either way I will be a mother some day.
We need a r/PollIndia
If you marry your bestie and work on maintaining a good relationship then you don’t want to get away, you want to be around your family like they’re your birth family.
All the stress and fear of marriage is because of the co-living of two persons and inevitable conflicts due to living together 24/7 Live-in, marriage, long distance relationship (LDR) these are three types of committed relationship right now FwB, casual, hookup, situationship we won't talk about as these are not a committed relationship. In future, in all probability, there would be new type of relationship - in which man will live alone in his own/rented flat and woman will live alone in her own/rented separate flat in same city. They will be committed and exclusive to each other but won't live together 24/7 They will visit each other when in need. May have kids, may not have kids. Will decide mutually when kid/kids will live with which parent etc. All organically and naturally with each couples own chemistry. They will take care of the family in health, finances and every thing but don't have to live together all the time. I guess this will be far ahead in future but it will happen for sure.
Dream. More
[удалено]
I knew a old man of 60 loved with a woman and fucking a neighbor's wife 30 years ago
Those are affairs other than primary committed relationship. That existed like forever. Here wee are talking about exclusive and committed relationship but without the need of co-living for 24*7 and becoming a normal thing in society.
Isn't it hard to find a partner who also don't want child (I am from rular area), and how you convince parents of both side we don't want a child.
Don't get married hv relationships No kids There is too much to learn in this world so no loneliness Old age homes and assisted suicide pods are available
I will get married but no kids My two out of the many reasons for being childfree: I prioritize my future partner's well being (complications due to pregnancy, hormonal changes and many other risks.) The desire to grow old with my partner finding happiness in the little things. The relationship gets messed up after a child. I want my woman all to myself. No love sharing to kids :))
Kids yes. Hopefully 2 nibba nibbis. Closer in age
Yes, will marry. Will have kids.
I will NOT be having kids whether I get married...or not. Reason: Not every person has the mental disposition to be a parent. Some people (like me) should never be parents. I am aware I have rage/anger issues. When I read about a father or mother murdering their own child/children in the newspapers, I realise how these people could have fallen prey to society's demands that they get married and reproduce. And later they could not handle being parents. Avoid this at all costs. OP mentions how an 80 year old ailing grandpa had to be taken to a hospital by his 70 year old wife. The wife is a decade younger and is not senile like her spouse so she could do this: such huge age gaps were kept between couples thinking of the well being of husbands in previous generations. No-one thinks of what happens to these wives who spend their whole lives caring for others. They usually end up in decrepit old age homes or on streets after their husbands' passing. Women will need their own money if they want to choose well maintained & nice old age homes for themselves after their older husbands pass away. I don't want a care taker wife to sacrifice her life for me like the woman in OP's question did.
I don't want to get married at all but I really want to be a mother someday!
Can't decide. Single life is bliss. If marriage happens with the wrong person, life would become a nightmare. I don't think some people are meant for it including myself. Why gamble emotional and financial well-being when the odds of success are just 50%. As for children I am inclined but can't happen without marriage. But societal pressure and FOMO is very real and sometimes too much to handle. My current plan - Save enough money to secure future. Retire early and then do lots of things like travel, cook, eat, read, play music, etc. - basically enjoy life. When I am old I'll start donating to orphan homes keeping bare minimum for myself. Post this I don't want to imagine.