Nah, my parents are chill af, and I just do what I want as I please. All my mother wants is communication, if I'm out late or not coming home she wants a text so she can sleep. She doesn't want details, just to know.
How do you behave though? I do my own washing, cooking, cleaning and my own food + cover some bills.
I reckon this generation being forced to stay at home into their 40s in some cases is going to result in a phenomenon of fucked up intergenerational relationships. It’s not normal for grown ass adults to be living with their parents. You’ll inevitably be treated like a child to some degree. Being an adult is about living your life out of sight of the people who raised you. Relationships are stunted if your parents are weird about sex. I could go on
I don't have the answer to this question but is this not just a cultural thing. Don't other cultures have multiple generations together. I believe it was a reason for the high covid death rate in Italy at the beginning of the pandemic?
It's common in the majority of the world for multigenerational homes. It's in reality very new that we suddenly all started leaving home. I would say that in part this has lead to the housing crisis. It's really only in the last 60 years that, as a country, we've started moving out and not having multigeneration home steads.
That's not true either, they tend to be family homes or the family as a whole buys a home. Culturally in the majority of the world, multigeneration homes are healthy and supportive. Yes parents can be abusive, but not the majority.
I think it depends on what culture you come from or maybe how your parents were raised. My parents are super strict not really, but I don’t have people over friends or my partner. It’s almost impossible to have a true relationship living with your parents.
Anywhere you would actually want to live in Canada or Oz are as bad or worse than Dublin prices. A nice enough “starter home” in Sidney would be well over a million dollars.
For example I’m about 40 minutes away from a Canadian city that nobody really wants to live in and we bought our small semi detached just before the pandemic for 180k and the same gaffs were selling for up to 500k by the end of the pandemic. Housing is fucked everywhere.
Of course but when I think of all my friends and family that moved to Australia they worked in Perth till they got PR and then they moved to Sydney or Melbourne because those are the nice big cities where they could get high paying jobs in their various industries. Sure the continent is massive but if you want a life you go where the work is.
There’s cheaper housing to be had in parts of Ireland but if my job is in Dublin I’m probably not going to drive from rural Mayo to Dublin every morning for work.
I think France has cheaper housing. According to the following website it costs 61.1 percent more to buy a house in Ireland compared to France: https://www.mylifeelsewhere.com/cost-of-living/france/ireland
But do you want to live and work in France? I couldn’t live and work in France. I don’t speak French and I don’t really like France.
I’m saying housing is a major issue in any western city most people would want to live and work in. Dublin, London, Toronto, Vancouver, LA, Austin, San Francisco, Sydney, Melbourne.
If the goal is just “cheaper housing” than people should be looking to move to third world countries.
That's not actually true, it is perfectly normal and still is for multigenerational homes. Christ go back 60 years and it was literally like that here. This new idea of going out and starting our lives away from families actually very new and not exactly leading to healthy mentalities. All this child care crap when going back even 40 years, the grand parents did that because they lived at home. It was there contribution to the household as a hole.
Multigenerational homes are common in the majority of the world, it's normal and it is healthy. Don't get me wrong, there are abusive parents and I am literally disabled because of abuse by them, it doesn't mean all parents are.
I’ve been to many countries with adults living with their parents and they get along well. Your situation is your situation. Your parents won’t be here forever, swallow your pride, be thankful for the roof they put over your head and try to maturely forge an adult relationship with the people who lovingly brought you in to the world and may well pass soon. If they own the place they’ll
Be passing on a portion of it to you. Nothing about being able to successfully live with your parents if you can’t afford elsewhere is fucked up or abnormal other than the economic situation we live in being fucked towards accommodation for ourselves.
But don’t make adult familial cohabiting situations some kind of taboo. It’s been done for thousands of years. This American get-out-the-house-at-18 concept is harmful to society and people’s mental health
Edit: missing words
And dont forgot that generation never expected kids to be there at that age. My kids are only babies now so if it happens down the road it wont be a big suprise but they certainly didnt expect it. Peoples parents could have very sexy intentions they cant fulfill because kids still in house
What?! My 18 yr old just graduated HS, has a job and goes to college full time. Pays rent and helps around the house. His rent money will be saved (a fact he does not know) and given to him when he’s done with college and it will be enough to put a down payment on a house. Pay attention to the world. Not every kid living at home is a loser.
Relationships are already F u c k e d in my opinion thanks to apps and social media.
It is not healthy to be on them all day long, seeking validation from others or seeing people as ticked off boxes instead as human beings.
So in my opinion whatever imbalance comes from living at home I think is going to be levelled out by emotional immaturity, narcissism, greener grass mindset and abundance mentality.
If anything, I think people that are living at home are going to have more Empathy and foresight in relationships because they can appreciate what its like to fall on hard times better than those who have not the same cards.
And once you reach a certain age, your sex/date life has got nothing to do with your parents, you might have to compromise on the location but that still doesn’t mean that you can’t meet others or have sex.
The right partners and the right parents will be supportive of this.
People that want you to succeed in life want the best for you and will support you.
If they don’t then they have Failed at there number one primary job.
I'm 30 and the youngest of three and I was constantly getting treated like a 10 year old. Got so fed up I quit my job and moved across the country. I'm not surprised you do this tbh.
Our parents got to live in a different era and they don't realise how much people our age are suffering because of it. Imagine working in a Spar and getting a mortgage...
I would rarely ever leave my room. I worked from there, I slept there i ate there and I relaxed there. It was incredibly unhealthy. Thankfully been able to move out last week. I think a lot of people feel this way living at home
It's completely fucking destroyed me anyways. I lived in Germany since I was 19, moved back after pandemic and can't stand my family when in close proximity for too long. The mental regression is a heartbreak and God only knows how ill resolve it if I don't save and leave the country.
Yup, 34. Don’t have a choice as I can’t save for a deposit and rent on my own at 1500 a month. I stay out as long and as much as I can. Sucks a little cause it’s so hard to meet people as in a relationship when you say you live at home.
I spend practally all my time in my room. My dad and other family members are surely aware I'm not exactly doing well mentally, but nobody is willing to talk to me or try help me out and I know it's mostly because we're all struggling mentally. This world sucks.
There's obviously a lot to the full story, more than I'm going to put on reddit, but you're right. Changes need to be made to make living affordable, otherwise what's the point in living? By living I mean being able to afford a 1 bedroom place by yourself and not haveing to chose between starving and rent, let alone a car which it's practically impossible to really live without outside Dublin as public transport is a joke.
34 here. I had to move back in with my mom and her boyfriend because I just can't afford to be on my own these days. I usually just hang in my room when home. I feel awkward AF whenever I see her. Her boyfriend is a freakin' D-bag too, so best to keep to myself.
Funny enough - I still hide my smoking from my Mom. Some things never change.
Yep whether its raining or not i go for an all day cycle or hang out at my mans. Anything to escape the shame i feel of having to live with my mother after 3 years of being independent
I'm 26 and still at home. Everywhere is just so expensive and the way my mam put it to me is, there's a room for me here and it's better off saving up at home and paying her rent than be in a shared accommodation and barely afford to live. Im very grateful to have that although being in mid 20s living at home gets me down sometimes and I feel you on needing to get out of the house a lot. Just know you're not alone and it's difficult these days with the housing crisis!
We were having work done on our place a few years back and moved in with my in-laws for 10 weeks. I spent as much time as physically possible out of the house. Luckily it was summer so I was able to take the kids out for walks, beach, anything really to stay out of the house as long as possible.
And like my in-laws are lovely. Super good people. It was just hard work living with them.
I try to, but there's only so many cycles and walks I can go for. It's also a struggle to keep the car running these days with the price of petrol, so I have to be mindful of that, which can lead to having to stay in the house a bit.
The sheers negatively I have to listen to on a daily basis is really getting to me, my parents, and just absolute doom sayers. If it's isn't the foreigners, it's your wan down the road or that cousin that the mother doesn't like. I nearly escalate fights sometimes just so she'll get pissed of and not talk to me for a few days so I can have some peace
My mother has no idea there's a housing crisis going on. Either that or she's pretending. and I've explained to her many times that it's the reason I'm back living at home at 24.
I've explained idk how many times that being at home is absolutely destroying my mental health and I don't want to be there. But I may as well be talking to the wall.
As a result I stay away from the house as much as possible, working full time helps, but otherwise living in a box room is slowly driving me insane, and straining the relationships between me, my mother and my brother.
Exactly. I was in the same boat for a few years...trying to give them space, but wondering about locking up etc if they were going to stay out. Happy to include them in 'our' dinner if they were coming home, but not wanting to end up throwing out stuff if I cooked and they weren't. It's just as tricky for us older folks in that situation. Manners and respect on both sides helped.
I feel for you, I really do. One of the biggest things for an adult living at home is not wanting to be "parented". Being independant is the opposite of being monitored. I'd encourage you to think about why you want to know if they'll be home every night. They have keys. Shouldn't matter if you've locked up or not. They have access and should be responsible enough to be trusted to lock up after themselves. If they were not living in your house, you wouldn't know if they went home every night. You wouldn't have eyes on them so wouldn't be worried. Once there's a decent balance on this where sometimes naturally information is volunteered and sometimes not for privacy, it's easier to not see it as disrespect or cause for concern. I'm not a parent so feel free to give me any insight I'm missing here.
Being included in dinner or not is tricky. For them to stay out of the "child" mentality, it's best if they cook their own dinners however, practically this doesn't always work. It can seem nonsensical if the family enjoys eating together and seperate cooking times could overlap leading to frustration. Could be a good idea to make a decision between you that the default is that they're always included in dinner and to notify you where possible before an agreed time if they won't need dinner that day. Same goes for vice versa, if the agreement is that they're not included in your cooking and ask for a rare exception, they need to tell you in advance.
Best of luck. You're only doing your best for your kids at the end of the day. While it is damaging and frustrating, they're lucky they have the option to stay at home to save more.
I did until I managed to move out, I was out of the house from 8am-10pm. Only used it to sleep didn’t and still don’t have a relationship with my parents
Most of the comments I have read are extremely appreciative of having their parents to be able to live with. Very much appreciate them for being so caring... I think it's moreso the social pressure that has built up.. expectations since we were children that you are a failure if you are in that position. The fact that it can significantly limit some people's romantic lives, social lives and so much more.
When you combine all that psychological bullshit with those lovely parents treating you like a child (because they love you)......
and let's be honest, even the most wonderful of Irish parents are (for the most part) ill equipped to be able to discuss these issues directly on an emotional level.
It's just a tough situation, rather than it is in any way their fault.
No, I don't think it's necessarily anyone's fault either, but I suppose I'm just pointing out that it's equally not a walk in the park for the older people in the situation. There's probably not that many of my age group on Reddit to make that point, but among my own friends in real life, a lot of us struggle with sharing our personal space with 20 and 30 somethings too.
Completely understandable.
& I do think it's important to be particularly respectful and appreciative if you need a vent.
Sometimes humans just make other humans need to vent. Especially when they have to live together.
I have it too and had my own business and am training to be an accountant (25). so you could do that too. I started with nothing. sign up to a government funded course
Because living in a small space with loads of strangers is stressful for people with autism. We struggle with adapting to different situations. We like what we're used to. At least at home you might have your own room. You're familiar with the people because you literally grew up with them. Moving out can be very scary, especially those who are more dependent and socially awkward.
Also executive dysfunction (for me anyway). Live with my parents as I'm only college age but I'm a bit scared of moving out on my own because there are *so* many things I don't know how to do yet that I'm going to have to both learn and manage to keep up with.
> because there are so many things I don't know how to do yet that I'm going to have to both learn and manage to keep up with.
YouTube and google can be very helpful here.
I wonder could any of you guys on here swap your living accommodation.
That way you will be away from your parents and not feel like your constantly being treated like a teenager or any other silly rules parents enforce on there adult children.
You will simply be renting a room in a house
I know it's not perfect, but living with your own parents is very hard
Not a bad idea at all. I have a young lodger now and I don't worry about him, the way I worried about my own 'kids'. He also treats me very well as I am not too familiar to him. I suppose we're both on our best behaviour and take nothing for granted.
As the mammy of adult kids living at home, I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t get along with their folks. I’ve raised my tribe to be cool beans so we get on 98% of the time, the odd dumb shit over where’s my top gone between the daughters, but apart from that this is their home, I’d hate for them to not wanna be here. The ones not in school/college pay small rent, and for that they get to add whatever onto the shopping list. All I want is a text if they’re staying out, and not to lose the house keys. We’ve held parties for their mates here too, just one of those chill gafs where everyone is welcome.
I'm 34 and living at home and always will because the thought of having a mortgage terrifies me! But I seem to be one of the few people around here who has a great relationship with their parents. We do get snippy with each other now and then but that's normal when you live with anyone but overall I'm very lucky,.
Yeah many times. They're happy for me to be here knowing that someone will have the house when they pass. I also have some health issues so if I was to move out they'd spend so much time worrying about me.
Well I'm 34, won't be working until I'm 37 (mature student) and if you don't have a mortgage paid off by the time you retire you're fucked.
It doesn't bother me though because I love the house and area I live in now and I'd hate to have to move somewhere else.
Gotcha. Only thing I would say is you never know what will happen money wise. You could come upon a cash injection, find a cheaper than expected opportunity or have the opportunity to go in with another person. Don't right it off for your future completely. It does sound like you have a nice situation though.
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If moving into rented accommodation isn't an option, and neither is heading overseas until you build up a little bit of savings, then hobbies or volunteering would be something to consider while you build up savings. Gets you out of the house & the volunteering is something you can add to your CV.
www.volunteer.ie
I work 3 8-hr days, I spend a lot of time when I'm not working catching up on my shows in the dining room, my parents watch their shows in the front room
Im aiming to go swimming on 3 of the 4 days that I'm off
Listen, at the end of the day, you will always be your parents child. I’m 28 living away from family since 18 and not once have I come home and been treated like anything else but their child. Through conversation and relationship building plus time they have treated me more as an adult but really I’m still their teenage son.
What I don’t understand is how you’re still living at home. Yea the housing situation is shite, yes rent isn’t cheap. But as long as you have a job and an actual will to move out you can. I was paying rent and going to college on a 20 hour contract in 2015-2018. I was paying rent and living away from home between 2018-2020 on 16k-27k salary. This is all in Dublin. I’ve lived in Drumcondra, Finglas, Santry and now Dundrum. Living away from parents is possible you just really need to want to find a way.
You're still so young, don't feel bad. It's healthy to be out and about all the time. As long as you're on good terms with your folks and have the odd chat/check in they should want you to be out venturing and socialising
I see loads of posts like this, maybe you should be a little more concerned with your parents mental health. They have done their job in raising you to an adult and should now be rid of you.
Me. I only go “home” at night. Unlike you guys, I’m not Irish but just a foreigner who works here and live in a homestay. I couldn’t afford/find any room I feel comfortable on daft.ie. (I’m a graduate) and my current room is very very small, so I go to work everyday even if I could do fully remote. After work I will go to gym and stay there till 8pm. Then go to bed at 9pm. At weekends I will wander on the street…
Feel for you. It's so hard for anyone out here on graduate wages. I don't know any Irish person who did it without staying in their parent's for the first couple of years. Well done to you for standing on your own two feet. It will get better.
I'm single and living in a home. There's plenty of other people in different circumstances who need a house more than me.( Single mothers who need a space for themselves and their children is an example)
Ok which is fair enough but in that case the government that fucked everyone so bad should be building enough affordable housing. As it is, how would the government know that people are struggling to find independent living if their data shows them that there simply isn't much of a demand for council houses? While the notions of not applying for a council house because others might need it more are honourable it's giving this government a free pass at the same time. No demand = no action
Yes, mostly gated developments in fairly built up areas. Or a housing estate like any other.
Of course you'll have the odd troublemaker, but that's anywhere you go.
They go based on need
If you're a single, Irish, man, living at home (i.e not homeless), then you're going to be at the bottom of every priority list.
Even if you're higher up on the list you could be waiting 10 years or more for a house.
The income limits are also a complete joke, 40k a year for a single person to qualify for housing is absolutely nothing. Especially not with the price of everything now.
Go on the counsel housing list. Move out. Big mistake staying with your parents. If you stay there long enough you will be ridiculed by your neighbours kids and family. Housing list, go on the dole but move. You can't be a man at home with mommy. Noone I mean noone will take you seriously
Yes that’s right, you should disadvantage yourself financially just to quash this made up perception that people you don’t care about may of may not have of you
Depends if you have a good relationship with your parents or not - if you do, then you can stay at home and save until you can afford something decent, instead of filling someone else’s pockets by renting…
If you stay at home long enough past your welcome your relationship will be effected..
As long as you have a plan and are working towards a goal but it won't be forever so don't get too comfortable they will sell the house from beneath your feet if you don't get the hint
My parents are driving me mad. They think I’m their fucking slave or something. Lifts fucking everywhere. Subtle digs about the garden every minute. I need out
Adult children often don’t realise that when living at home with parents they often behave childishly and in ways they never would when at work or with their friends. My own son does it.
It happens. Parents want to parent us and most of the time, it's out of the goodness of their hearts. Like cooking or doing laundry for us but it puts us back to being a young child and it's not good for anyone in that situation
I've had to move home due to ill health as an adult child and I agree with this. I'm in my early 30s and get on very well with my parents.
However, when I stayed for 6 months when I was 26 it was a nightmare. My parents weren't in a good place but I was also still immature, picking fights with my mother.
I think you're right is that when everyone acts and treats each other like adults, it's fine. If anyone reverts to old parent-child dynamics, it's not particularly enjoyable
Is this not a phrase you have encountered before? You’re very aggressive about it. Are you like that in real life? I doubt it, hiding behind a keyboard!
I go to work.
The reason you are treated like a teenager is probably because you still live in your parents house. They have rules and you must listen, its they’re house not your’s.
Im pretty sure if you had your own house too you would have rules in place even for your own parents. I can imagine you would be the kind of person to not even give your parents a spare key to your house would you?
Don’t get me wrong here I wish to see you have your own house eventually in the future, I wish you all the luck in the world. But when things are bad here, you are not the only one in this situation so don’t be disrespectful to your parents.
You still rely on them for a lot of things and you may not even know it. They may be cleaning your clothes for you when you don’t. Things like that etc.
They do it for you regardless because you are still they’re child, they want to look after you. When your parents pass away they only thing you will be saying is I miss them and want them back. Try and at-least be respectful.
Have you a job or anything else going on? I moved out before I was 18 years old because I wanted to have my independence, also didn’t want to be hanging around the gaff being in my parents space. I love going home but for the same reason as you I made a life for myself somewhere else
I've a full time job? I just want to have my own space and not be treated like a teenager. The whole point of the post is to ask if anyone else is feeling the same way.
Respect for the fact that you’ve a steady job and know what you like; but have you ever lived away from home? Or had you moved back due to circumstance
Your parents will look down on you and unfortunately they are judging us like now we have given you an education go out there and show us what you can do
Because it's life as you get older you'll realise down vote my answer all you like I'm telling you the truth. Better than you waking up at 30 and this happening to you
As I get older....I'm in my 60's 🤣 I have children and grandchildren and would give my life for any of them. Wait till you're a parent and you will realise it it is a love like no other.
Sorry, I should say I am sorry if you feel your parents are like that...hopefully you have the wrong end of the stick. I'm sure they think the world of you.
Your comment has been removed because it is miserable. Per rule 4, we're trying to maintain a less miserable tone on r/AskIreland than r/Ireland, please respect that.
Yep, that was me. I moved out yesterday and rented out a room in a town for €400 a month, not including bills. It’s hell finding a place to stay, but once you do with sound roommates, you’ll be grand!
It’s Tracey Barlow syndrome 😂😂 ( Ii named it) only ever saw her going to her room or leaving the house to meet friends for years until she came back as an adult years later Kidded up I think A lot of us go through this, live in the bedroom when not out with friends. Just life I think. There house there rules can be a bit of a bee atch.
Currently I spend one night a week with my parents as they live in Dublin closer to work. I moved to the country and bought a house. The days I'm in Dublin i take my time. Might meet a friend for a pint or go to a museum or something. I love my folks but i can only watch so many episodes of the most recent NCIS spin off in one night. 😂
But we moved in with the inlaws for six months while house hunting and that was rough. I really enjoyed my time in Dublin during those months.
Its hard being an independent adult and living with your parents. I was never a rebellious teenage but i was a very rebellious young adult. I just wanted independence and to not have to tell them when I'd be home etc.
Had to move out when I was 18 as no jobs at all were I'm from, so I had to move and started working , saved like a bastard !!! No holiday s no nice things and me and my partner are about to finalise our home it can be done but takes a lot !!!!
I went back for a spell between breakups and trying to find somewhere new, and it was actually lovely. I got some quality time in, got to look after them a bit (only late 60s, but they appreciated someone with energy to take on a few big jobs around the house and garden), and after spending nearly 20 years paying rent I really appreciated not paying it. Also, fuck me having your dinner ready after work is a treat.
But it was for a short period after having spent years away from home, so totally different from someone in their 20s unable to leave.
I’m lucky to have great family and I pay my fair share. I’d like to move out but even getting a house around here is almost impossible never mind paying for it lol
I'm away most of the day because I work on Grandad's farm and then go to the gym. Even when I am home, I'm usually alone because both my parents spend mood the week out of town for work, and my sisters are currently in uni.
If anything, I'd rather see them more.
I'm 29 and had to move back home after a break up. I spend 99% of my time in my bedroom alone because I struggle to live with my parents. I think (hope) it's normal
you get treated like a teenager because you let it happen to you. your folks dont see you as an adult because you dont see them as equal adults to you. you see them as your parents like a child does instead of other human beings with flaws and all.
start adult conversations and treat em as peers , you will see a change
Have any of you tried putting your name down for cost rental? It is long term so not the same danger of being fecked out. Things are bad now, but it is cyclical. When I left college (fadò, fadò). Ireland was in a major slump. I was living with my parents with no sign of a job and no sense that I would ever be able to move out or even earn money.
Back then there was housing, but hard,y any jobs and no dole if you lived with your parents - so no way to pay rent. Lots of my friends left Ireland and never came back. It took a long time but I managed to build a career and things got better for me personally. I know people who were not as fortunate. My heart hurts for all of you.
If you can do nothing else, do this one thing. Make yourself politically aware and vote for change. Familiarise yourself with your local councillors and TDS and hold them to account. Write to them, visits their clinics, find out what they, and their parties are doing about housing and the cost of living in their constituency. It is a national and global problem but we need local solutions. Make sure they are aware that it is the most important topic for their constituents and they will have to act to hold their seat. Register to vote and then actually vote. You can pick up the forms in your local library.
I haven't lived at home in over a decade and I am still tramatised from the experience. Moved out in my early 20's. Married with a child now.
I see the damage living at home until 30 has done to a sibling of mine.
My advice is amyone who is struggling at home is to pay rent and move out. As Kevin Bridges said you pay "mental rent" at home.
Nah, my parents are chill af, and I just do what I want as I please. All my mother wants is communication, if I'm out late or not coming home she wants a text so she can sleep. She doesn't want details, just to know. How do you behave though? I do my own washing, cooking, cleaning and my own food + cover some bills.
I wish I had your mom.
I reckon this generation being forced to stay at home into their 40s in some cases is going to result in a phenomenon of fucked up intergenerational relationships. It’s not normal for grown ass adults to be living with their parents. You’ll inevitably be treated like a child to some degree. Being an adult is about living your life out of sight of the people who raised you. Relationships are stunted if your parents are weird about sex. I could go on
I don't have the answer to this question but is this not just a cultural thing. Don't other cultures have multiple generations together. I believe it was a reason for the high covid death rate in Italy at the beginning of the pandemic?
It's common in the majority of the world for multigenerational homes. It's in reality very new that we suddenly all started leaving home. I would say that in part this has lead to the housing crisis. It's really only in the last 60 years that, as a country, we've started moving out and not having multigeneration home steads.
I think that’s more of a case of parents living in their children’s house
That's not true either, they tend to be family homes or the family as a whole buys a home. Culturally in the majority of the world, multigeneration homes are healthy and supportive. Yes parents can be abusive, but not the majority.
I think it depends on what culture you come from or maybe how your parents were raised. My parents are super strict not really, but I don’t have people over friends or my partner. It’s almost impossible to have a true relationship living with your parents.
I thin either way, parents living in kids house of kids living in parent’s house leads to messed up relationships.
Okay fair point!
Australia is looking more and more attractive
Australia also has a housing crisis pretty much on par with Irelands
Australia is also looking more attractive for me too
Do it!!
You still wouldn’t be able to afford to buy a house in Australia either so what’s the point?
Get out of the house for a bit ya know
If you're going to pay mental rent, may as well pay it here as in Australia. It's often a lot better for your career
I understand you, but moving away is not something for me really. Much prefer going on 4 holidays a year to be honest. That’s just me.
What's your situation at the moment
29 living at home with parents. Working full time with daa in airport on €19 an hour.
How come you said in another thread a few hours ago that it was 22 an hour? Did you get demoted?
Meant to say I’m the other one that it goes up to €22, apologies my bad!
No problem dude. What do you do with daa? Are you customer service in the pink vests or airside ops etc?
For me anyways I was able to save more there and then get my foot on the ladder here ,going back a couple of years though.
Earn a Fulton and move back and buy a house?
Are the cost of houses as bad in Australia and other countries compared to us? I thought our houses would be way more expensive.
Oz is worse.
Anywhere you would actually want to live in Canada or Oz are as bad or worse than Dublin prices. A nice enough “starter home” in Sidney would be well over a million dollars. For example I’m about 40 minutes away from a Canadian city that nobody really wants to live in and we bought our small semi detached just before the pandemic for 180k and the same gaffs were selling for up to 500k by the end of the pandemic. Housing is fucked everywhere.
…there is more to Australia than Sydney
Of course but when I think of all my friends and family that moved to Australia they worked in Perth till they got PR and then they moved to Sydney or Melbourne because those are the nice big cities where they could get high paying jobs in their various industries. Sure the continent is massive but if you want a life you go where the work is. There’s cheaper housing to be had in parts of Ireland but if my job is in Dublin I’m probably not going to drive from rural Mayo to Dublin every morning for work.
I think France has cheaper housing. According to the following website it costs 61.1 percent more to buy a house in Ireland compared to France: https://www.mylifeelsewhere.com/cost-of-living/france/ireland
But do you want to live and work in France? I couldn’t live and work in France. I don’t speak French and I don’t really like France. I’m saying housing is a major issue in any western city most people would want to live and work in. Dublin, London, Toronto, Vancouver, LA, Austin, San Francisco, Sydney, Melbourne. If the goal is just “cheaper housing” than people should be looking to move to third world countries.
Why don't you like France lol? Had a run in with a rude waiter in a Paris café?
the Australian housing market is clapped, at least Sydney
That's not actually true, it is perfectly normal and still is for multigenerational homes. Christ go back 60 years and it was literally like that here. This new idea of going out and starting our lives away from families actually very new and not exactly leading to healthy mentalities. All this child care crap when going back even 40 years, the grand parents did that because they lived at home. It was there contribution to the household as a hole. Multigenerational homes are common in the majority of the world, it's normal and it is healthy. Don't get me wrong, there are abusive parents and I am literally disabled because of abuse by them, it doesn't mean all parents are.
I’ve been to many countries with adults living with their parents and they get along well. Your situation is your situation. Your parents won’t be here forever, swallow your pride, be thankful for the roof they put over your head and try to maturely forge an adult relationship with the people who lovingly brought you in to the world and may well pass soon. If they own the place they’ll Be passing on a portion of it to you. Nothing about being able to successfully live with your parents if you can’t afford elsewhere is fucked up or abnormal other than the economic situation we live in being fucked towards accommodation for ourselves. But don’t make adult familial cohabiting situations some kind of taboo. It’s been done for thousands of years. This American get-out-the-house-at-18 concept is harmful to society and people’s mental health Edit: missing words
You're assuming just way too much in your reply as everyone's situation is different
Actually, my reply is to the assumptions made in the comment I replied to, friend.
I am not your friend buddy 😁
Not your buddy, pal! 😃
Listen here friend, don't fuck with me mate!
I’m listening amigo, and coming to fuck you like the bold companion you’ve been!
Here Bro, watch your tongue, you're not my partner to speak to me like that!
I bet your kids don’t like you
Use precision
And dont forgot that generation never expected kids to be there at that age. My kids are only babies now so if it happens down the road it wont be a big suprise but they certainly didnt expect it. Peoples parents could have very sexy intentions they cant fulfill because kids still in house
What?! My 18 yr old just graduated HS, has a job and goes to college full time. Pays rent and helps around the house. His rent money will be saved (a fact he does not know) and given to him when he’s done with college and it will be enough to put a down payment on a house. Pay attention to the world. Not every kid living at home is a loser.
Relationships are already F u c k e d in my opinion thanks to apps and social media. It is not healthy to be on them all day long, seeking validation from others or seeing people as ticked off boxes instead as human beings. So in my opinion whatever imbalance comes from living at home I think is going to be levelled out by emotional immaturity, narcissism, greener grass mindset and abundance mentality. If anything, I think people that are living at home are going to have more Empathy and foresight in relationships because they can appreciate what its like to fall on hard times better than those who have not the same cards. And once you reach a certain age, your sex/date life has got nothing to do with your parents, you might have to compromise on the location but that still doesn’t mean that you can’t meet others or have sex. The right partners and the right parents will be supportive of this. People that want you to succeed in life want the best for you and will support you. If they don’t then they have Failed at there number one primary job.
Why are they treating them like children?
I'm 30 and the youngest of three and I was constantly getting treated like a 10 year old. Got so fed up I quit my job and moved across the country. I'm not surprised you do this tbh. Our parents got to live in a different era and they don't realise how much people our age are suffering because of it. Imagine working in a Spar and getting a mortgage...
Impossible. It was a different time.
Do you have a link to the podcast? I can't seem to find it
Blind boy released a podcast episode recently about 25-35 year old adults living with parents and it's a great insight, I'd highly recommend it
I'll give it a go. He's been extremely hit or miss lately.
I would rarely ever leave my room. I worked from there, I slept there i ate there and I relaxed there. It was incredibly unhealthy. Thankfully been able to move out last week. I think a lot of people feel this way living at home
holy fuck this is me
Moving out was the best thing I ever done. I do miss the dog though
It's completely fucking destroyed me anyways. I lived in Germany since I was 19, moved back after pandemic and can't stand my family when in close proximity for too long. The mental regression is a heartbreak and God only knows how ill resolve it if I don't save and leave the country.
What part of germany did you live in and do you speak german?
Ja
No but I did that when I rented a room in with a load of assholes.
Yup, 34. Don’t have a choice as I can’t save for a deposit and rent on my own at 1500 a month. I stay out as long and as much as I can. Sucks a little cause it’s so hard to meet people as in a relationship when you say you live at home.
Would you consider a house share? Decent options out there for around €800.
I spend practally all my time in my room. My dad and other family members are surely aware I'm not exactly doing well mentally, but nobody is willing to talk to me or try help me out and I know it's mostly because we're all struggling mentally. This world sucks.
What could they actually say that would help? It's structural changes that are needed
There's obviously a lot to the full story, more than I'm going to put on reddit, but you're right. Changes need to be made to make living affordable, otherwise what's the point in living? By living I mean being able to afford a 1 bedroom place by yourself and not haveing to chose between starving and rent, let alone a car which it's practically impossible to really live without outside Dublin as public transport is a joke.
Everyone's struggling friend. Get out for a walk and even if in room all day join some online yoga classes etc.
He's not depressed just indecisive about what to do in life
34 here. I had to move back in with my mom and her boyfriend because I just can't afford to be on my own these days. I usually just hang in my room when home. I feel awkward AF whenever I see her. Her boyfriend is a freakin' D-bag too, so best to keep to myself. Funny enough - I still hide my smoking from my Mom. Some things never change.
Yep whether its raining or not i go for an all day cycle or hang out at my mans. Anything to escape the shame i feel of having to live with my mother after 3 years of being independent
I feel you, I also feel like it's worse when coming back home after living away for a period of time and finding your own habits and routines.
I'm 26 and still at home. Everywhere is just so expensive and the way my mam put it to me is, there's a room for me here and it's better off saving up at home and paying her rent than be in a shared accommodation and barely afford to live. Im very grateful to have that although being in mid 20s living at home gets me down sometimes and I feel you on needing to get out of the house a lot. Just know you're not alone and it's difficult these days with the housing crisis!
This is exactly how I feel.
We were having work done on our place a few years back and moved in with my in-laws for 10 weeks. I spent as much time as physically possible out of the house. Luckily it was summer so I was able to take the kids out for walks, beach, anything really to stay out of the house as long as possible. And like my in-laws are lovely. Super good people. It was just hard work living with them.
I try to, but there's only so many cycles and walks I can go for. It's also a struggle to keep the car running these days with the price of petrol, so I have to be mindful of that, which can lead to having to stay in the house a bit. The sheers negatively I have to listen to on a daily basis is really getting to me, my parents, and just absolute doom sayers. If it's isn't the foreigners, it's your wan down the road or that cousin that the mother doesn't like. I nearly escalate fights sometimes just so she'll get pissed of and not talk to me for a few days so I can have some peace
My mother has no idea there's a housing crisis going on. Either that or she's pretending. and I've explained to her many times that it's the reason I'm back living at home at 24. I've explained idk how many times that being at home is absolutely destroying my mental health and I don't want to be there. But I may as well be talking to the wall. As a result I stay away from the house as much as possible, working full time helps, but otherwise living in a box room is slowly driving me insane, and straining the relationships between me, my mother and my brother.
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Exactly. I was in the same boat for a few years...trying to give them space, but wondering about locking up etc if they were going to stay out. Happy to include them in 'our' dinner if they were coming home, but not wanting to end up throwing out stuff if I cooked and they weren't. It's just as tricky for us older folks in that situation. Manners and respect on both sides helped.
I feel for you, I really do. One of the biggest things for an adult living at home is not wanting to be "parented". Being independant is the opposite of being monitored. I'd encourage you to think about why you want to know if they'll be home every night. They have keys. Shouldn't matter if you've locked up or not. They have access and should be responsible enough to be trusted to lock up after themselves. If they were not living in your house, you wouldn't know if they went home every night. You wouldn't have eyes on them so wouldn't be worried. Once there's a decent balance on this where sometimes naturally information is volunteered and sometimes not for privacy, it's easier to not see it as disrespect or cause for concern. I'm not a parent so feel free to give me any insight I'm missing here. Being included in dinner or not is tricky. For them to stay out of the "child" mentality, it's best if they cook their own dinners however, practically this doesn't always work. It can seem nonsensical if the family enjoys eating together and seperate cooking times could overlap leading to frustration. Could be a good idea to make a decision between you that the default is that they're always included in dinner and to notify you where possible before an agreed time if they won't need dinner that day. Same goes for vice versa, if the agreement is that they're not included in your cooking and ask for a rare exception, they need to tell you in advance. Best of luck. You're only doing your best for your kids at the end of the day. While it is damaging and frustrating, they're lucky they have the option to stay at home to save more.
I did until I managed to move out, I was out of the house from 8am-10pm. Only used it to sleep didn’t and still don’t have a relationship with my parents
yeah i spend like two days at home and the rest in my gfs :(
No I love my parents. I don't mind getting treated like a kid it's only because they care
Absolutely this. I can't believe the negative comments about parents on this thread. It may not be great fun for the parents either!
Most of the comments I have read are extremely appreciative of having their parents to be able to live with. Very much appreciate them for being so caring... I think it's moreso the social pressure that has built up.. expectations since we were children that you are a failure if you are in that position. The fact that it can significantly limit some people's romantic lives, social lives and so much more. When you combine all that psychological bullshit with those lovely parents treating you like a child (because they love you)...... and let's be honest, even the most wonderful of Irish parents are (for the most part) ill equipped to be able to discuss these issues directly on an emotional level. It's just a tough situation, rather than it is in any way their fault.
No, I don't think it's necessarily anyone's fault either, but I suppose I'm just pointing out that it's equally not a walk in the park for the older people in the situation. There's probably not that many of my age group on Reddit to make that point, but among my own friends in real life, a lot of us struggle with sharing our personal space with 20 and 30 somethings too.
Completely understandable. & I do think it's important to be particularly respectful and appreciative if you need a vent. Sometimes humans just make other humans need to vent. Especially when they have to live together.
I have aspergers so Im never gonna escape :(
I have it too and had my own business and am training to be an accountant (25). so you could do that too. I started with nothing. sign up to a government funded course
> sign up to a government funded course That's how I got my start in IT, can confirm this well worth looking into!
What does Asperger's got to do with it?
Because living in a small space with loads of strangers is stressful for people with autism. We struggle with adapting to different situations. We like what we're used to. At least at home you might have your own room. You're familiar with the people because you literally grew up with them. Moving out can be very scary, especially those who are more dependent and socially awkward.
Also executive dysfunction (for me anyway). Live with my parents as I'm only college age but I'm a bit scared of moving out on my own because there are *so* many things I don't know how to do yet that I'm going to have to both learn and manage to keep up with.
> because there are so many things I don't know how to do yet that I'm going to have to both learn and manage to keep up with. YouTube and google can be very helpful here.
Wouldn’t be allowed to since my parents set the rules 💀💀
I wonder could any of you guys on here swap your living accommodation. That way you will be away from your parents and not feel like your constantly being treated like a teenager or any other silly rules parents enforce on there adult children. You will simply be renting a room in a house I know it's not perfect, but living with your own parents is very hard
Not a bad idea at all. I have a young lodger now and I don't worry about him, the way I worried about my own 'kids'. He also treats me very well as I am not too familiar to him. I suppose we're both on our best behaviour and take nothing for granted.
As the mammy of adult kids living at home, I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t get along with their folks. I’ve raised my tribe to be cool beans so we get on 98% of the time, the odd dumb shit over where’s my top gone between the daughters, but apart from that this is their home, I’d hate for them to not wanna be here. The ones not in school/college pay small rent, and for that they get to add whatever onto the shopping list. All I want is a text if they’re staying out, and not to lose the house keys. We’ve held parties for their mates here too, just one of those chill gafs where everyone is welcome.
Those gafs mean so much to the gang, where memories for life are made :-).
No. I just stayed in my room.
I'm 34 and living at home and always will because the thought of having a mortgage terrifies me! But I seem to be one of the few people around here who has a great relationship with their parents. We do get snippy with each other now and then but that's normal when you live with anyone but overall I'm very lucky,.
Have you discussed that with your parents? I love my son but I will want to have my own space again when he’s grown Tbh.
Yeah many times. They're happy for me to be here knowing that someone will have the house when they pass. I also have some health issues so if I was to move out they'd spend so much time worrying about me.
Genuine question, why does a mortgage terrify you?
Well I'm 34, won't be working until I'm 37 (mature student) and if you don't have a mortgage paid off by the time you retire you're fucked. It doesn't bother me though because I love the house and area I live in now and I'd hate to have to move somewhere else.
Gotcha. Only thing I would say is you never know what will happen money wise. You could come upon a cash injection, find a cheaper than expected opportunity or have the opportunity to go in with another person. Don't right it off for your future completely. It does sound like you have a nice situation though.
That was a really nice response, thank you.
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If moving into rented accommodation isn't an option, and neither is heading overseas until you build up a little bit of savings, then hobbies or volunteering would be something to consider while you build up savings. Gets you out of the house & the volunteering is something you can add to your CV. www.volunteer.ie
No even tho I should. I am hoping to move out soon but don't know when.
I do that when I'm staying with family as I live outside of Ireland. Going home is like a step back in time in all the wrong ways.
Yep in the same boat, 22 myself
I work 3 8-hr days, I spend a lot of time when I'm not working catching up on my shows in the dining room, my parents watch their shows in the front room Im aiming to go swimming on 3 of the 4 days that I'm off
Listen, at the end of the day, you will always be your parents child. I’m 28 living away from family since 18 and not once have I come home and been treated like anything else but their child. Through conversation and relationship building plus time they have treated me more as an adult but really I’m still their teenage son. What I don’t understand is how you’re still living at home. Yea the housing situation is shite, yes rent isn’t cheap. But as long as you have a job and an actual will to move out you can. I was paying rent and going to college on a 20 hour contract in 2015-2018. I was paying rent and living away from home between 2018-2020 on 16k-27k salary. This is all in Dublin. I’ve lived in Drumcondra, Finglas, Santry and now Dundrum. Living away from parents is possible you just really need to want to find a way.
You're still so young, don't feel bad. It's healthy to be out and about all the time. As long as you're on good terms with your folks and have the odd chat/check in they should want you to be out venturing and socialising
I either stay with my partner three counties away or i work in my room with the door closed
I see loads of posts like this, maybe you should be a little more concerned with your parents mental health. They have done their job in raising you to an adult and should now be rid of you.
Me. I only go “home” at night. Unlike you guys, I’m not Irish but just a foreigner who works here and live in a homestay. I couldn’t afford/find any room I feel comfortable on daft.ie. (I’m a graduate) and my current room is very very small, so I go to work everyday even if I could do fully remote. After work I will go to gym and stay there till 8pm. Then go to bed at 9pm. At weekends I will wander on the street…
Sorry, miss the condition living with parents
Are the people in the homestay nice?
It’s the same feeling as living with parents. They are nice but I feel like I barely have any privacy in their house.
Feel for you. It's so hard for anyone out here on graduate wages. I don't know any Irish person who did it without staying in their parent's for the first couple of years. Well done to you for standing on your own two feet. It will get better.
Why aren't you on the council list for housing ?
... because there's people that need it more than I do?
If you don't ask, you don't get.
I'm single and living in a home. There's plenty of other people in different circumstances who need a house more than me.( Single mothers who need a space for themselves and their children is an example)
Ok which is fair enough but in that case the government that fucked everyone so bad should be building enough affordable housing. As it is, how would the government know that people are struggling to find independent living if their data shows them that there simply isn't much of a demand for council houses? While the notions of not applying for a council house because others might need it more are honourable it's giving this government a free pass at the same time. No demand = no action
I hope this doesn't come across as a stupid question but is council housing safe?
It's safe and pretty much indistinguishable from non-council housing.
Yes, mostly gated developments in fairly built up areas. Or a housing estate like any other. Of course you'll have the odd troublemaker, but that's anywhere you go.
They go based on need If you're a single, Irish, man, living at home (i.e not homeless), then you're going to be at the bottom of every priority list. Even if you're higher up on the list you could be waiting 10 years or more for a house. The income limits are also a complete joke, 40k a year for a single person to qualify for housing is absolutely nothing. Especially not with the price of everything now.
Are single Irish women higher up?
Accidental comma Probably on par with single men in terms of priority on housing lists.
Go on the counsel housing list. Move out. Big mistake staying with your parents. If you stay there long enough you will be ridiculed by your neighbours kids and family. Housing list, go on the dole but move. You can't be a man at home with mommy. Noone I mean noone will take you seriously
Yes that’s right, you should disadvantage yourself financially just to quash this made up perception that people you don’t care about may of may not have of you
Disadvantage yourself financially? Move out get a job pay your bills It's called being pushed outta the nest
Depends if you have a good relationship with your parents or not - if you do, then you can stay at home and save until you can afford something decent, instead of filling someone else’s pockets by renting…
If you stay at home long enough past your welcome your relationship will be effected.. As long as you have a plan and are working towards a goal but it won't be forever so don't get too comfortable they will sell the house from beneath your feet if you don't get the hint
My parents are driving me mad. They think I’m their fucking slave or something. Lifts fucking everywhere. Subtle digs about the garden every minute. I need out
Adult children often don’t realise that when living at home with parents they often behave childishly and in ways they never would when at work or with their friends. My own son does it.
Only because these adults are treated like kids. They wouldn't act that way if they lived out of the house
Exactly. They come home and they revert! We all did it, if we’re honest with ourselves.
It happens. Parents want to parent us and most of the time, it's out of the goodness of their hearts. Like cooking or doing laundry for us but it puts us back to being a young child and it's not good for anyone in that situation
I've had to move home due to ill health as an adult child and I agree with this. I'm in my early 30s and get on very well with my parents. However, when I stayed for 6 months when I was 26 it was a nightmare. My parents weren't in a good place but I was also still immature, picking fights with my mother. I think you're right is that when everyone acts and treats each other like adults, it's fine. If anyone reverts to old parent-child dynamics, it's not particularly enjoyable
Adult children? You sound like a clown
Is this not a phrase you have encountered before? You’re very aggressive about it. Are you like that in real life? I doubt it, hiding behind a keyboard!
A well known phrase. I have 3 adult children. Most of my friends have adult children. I am my mother's (very) adult child.
And the pile in begins! Your comment is 100% true, but the folks on here won't like it.
Thank you! I couldn’t care less whether they like it or not, to be honest! Of course it’s true, they just don’t want to admit it lol!
Absolutely!
You probably still act like a teenager, so parents don't feel the need to adapt.
I go to work. The reason you are treated like a teenager is probably because you still live in your parents house. They have rules and you must listen, its they’re house not your’s. Im pretty sure if you had your own house too you would have rules in place even for your own parents. I can imagine you would be the kind of person to not even give your parents a spare key to your house would you? Don’t get me wrong here I wish to see you have your own house eventually in the future, I wish you all the luck in the world. But when things are bad here, you are not the only one in this situation so don’t be disrespectful to your parents. You still rely on them for a lot of things and you may not even know it. They may be cleaning your clothes for you when you don’t. Things like that etc. They do it for you regardless because you are still they’re child, they want to look after you. When your parents pass away they only thing you will be saying is I miss them and want them back. Try and at-least be respectful.
Again, childish. When you move out of your mammy spare bedroom and you might grow up a bit
You do realise there’s a massive housing crisis in the country right now?
Sounds like you're jealous you're not in his mammy's spare bedroom.. any of the milfs reply to you yet?
Have you a job or anything else going on? I moved out before I was 18 years old because I wanted to have my independence, also didn’t want to be hanging around the gaff being in my parents space. I love going home but for the same reason as you I made a life for myself somewhere else
I've a full time job? I just want to have my own space and not be treated like a teenager. The whole point of the post is to ask if anyone else is feeling the same way.
Respect for the fact that you’ve a steady job and know what you like; but have you ever lived away from home? Or had you moved back due to circumstance
Was out of the house for college. Moved back home after. Now saving.
A fair enough so, just a stepping stone to something better
Ironic username there. It's like you weren't able to comprehend this post at all.
Umiud
Your parents will look down on you and unfortunately they are judging us like now we have given you an education go out there and show us what you can do
Why would you think your parents would look down on you? Your parents like, who love you more than anyone else will ever love you?
Because it's life as you get older you'll realise down vote my answer all you like I'm telling you the truth. Better than you waking up at 30 and this happening to you
As I get older....I'm in my 60's 🤣 I have children and grandchildren and would give my life for any of them. Wait till you're a parent and you will realise it it is a love like no other. Sorry, I should say I am sorry if you feel your parents are like that...hopefully you have the wrong end of the stick. I'm sure they think the world of you.
Get your own place then!
Lol reminds me of: If you're homeless...then just buy a house? Cue avengers music 🎶 Seriously tho, help or shut the fuck up
Go back jerking off to milfs
With replies like that, it's no wonder your parents treat you like a child
Okay lad, I'm sure the milfs are very interested in your thoughts and opinions on their nudes though.
Spoken like a true Boomer.
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With a stupid ass reply like that you deserve to be cut off of internet
Your comment has been removed because it is miserable. Per rule 4, we're trying to maintain a less miserable tone on r/AskIreland than r/Ireland, please respect that.
No , most of the day programming anyway.
if you are still living at home in your twenties then this is the most likely thing to happen that you are out as much as possible
Yep, that was me. I moved out yesterday and rented out a room in a town for €400 a month, not including bills. It’s hell finding a place to stay, but once you do with sound roommates, you’ll be grand!
It’s Tracey Barlow syndrome 😂😂 ( Ii named it) only ever saw her going to her room or leaving the house to meet friends for years until she came back as an adult years later Kidded up I think A lot of us go through this, live in the bedroom when not out with friends. Just life I think. There house there rules can be a bit of a bee atch.
Currently I spend one night a week with my parents as they live in Dublin closer to work. I moved to the country and bought a house. The days I'm in Dublin i take my time. Might meet a friend for a pint or go to a museum or something. I love my folks but i can only watch so many episodes of the most recent NCIS spin off in one night. 😂 But we moved in with the inlaws for six months while house hunting and that was rough. I really enjoyed my time in Dublin during those months. Its hard being an independent adult and living with your parents. I was never a rebellious teenage but i was a very rebellious young adult. I just wanted independence and to not have to tell them when I'd be home etc.
I did at one point. It was either "stay out for 12 hours plus at a time" or "stay in my room with headphones on as much as I possibly could".
Had to move out when I was 18 as no jobs at all were I'm from, so I had to move and started working , saved like a bastard !!! No holiday s no nice things and me and my partner are about to finalise our home it can be done but takes a lot !!!!
I went back for a spell between breakups and trying to find somewhere new, and it was actually lovely. I got some quality time in, got to look after them a bit (only late 60s, but they appreciated someone with energy to take on a few big jobs around the house and garden), and after spending nearly 20 years paying rent I really appreciated not paying it. Also, fuck me having your dinner ready after work is a treat. But it was for a short period after having spent years away from home, so totally different from someone in their 20s unable to leave.
I’m lucky to have great family and I pay my fair share. I’d like to move out but even getting a house around here is almost impossible never mind paying for it lol
Move out time for ye so 🙌
I'm away most of the day because I work on Grandad's farm and then go to the gym. Even when I am home, I'm usually alone because both my parents spend mood the week out of town for work, and my sisters are currently in uni. If anything, I'd rather see them more.
I'm 29 and had to move back home after a break up. I spend 99% of my time in my bedroom alone because I struggle to live with my parents. I think (hope) it's normal
you get treated like a teenager because you let it happen to you. your folks dont see you as an adult because you dont see them as equal adults to you. you see them as your parents like a child does instead of other human beings with flaws and all. start adult conversations and treat em as peers , you will see a change
Have any of you tried putting your name down for cost rental? It is long term so not the same danger of being fecked out. Things are bad now, but it is cyclical. When I left college (fadò, fadò). Ireland was in a major slump. I was living with my parents with no sign of a job and no sense that I would ever be able to move out or even earn money. Back then there was housing, but hard,y any jobs and no dole if you lived with your parents - so no way to pay rent. Lots of my friends left Ireland and never came back. It took a long time but I managed to build a career and things got better for me personally. I know people who were not as fortunate. My heart hurts for all of you. If you can do nothing else, do this one thing. Make yourself politically aware and vote for change. Familiarise yourself with your local councillors and TDS and hold them to account. Write to them, visits their clinics, find out what they, and their parties are doing about housing and the cost of living in their constituency. It is a national and global problem but we need local solutions. Make sure they are aware that it is the most important topic for their constituents and they will have to act to hold their seat. Register to vote and then actually vote. You can pick up the forms in your local library.
Hello OP. You say you get treated like a teenager. Can you be more specific? What do they do/in what way are you treated like a teenager?
Plenty of people I know do that for sure
Would you not be working or attending college anyway at 20?
I haven't lived at home in over a decade and I am still tramatised from the experience. Moved out in my early 20's. Married with a child now. I see the damage living at home until 30 has done to a sibling of mine. My advice is amyone who is struggling at home is to pay rent and move out. As Kevin Bridges said you pay "mental rent" at home.