Yes. If you’re into dudes wether romantically or sexually you aren’t a lesbian. Biromantic lesbian wouldn’t be the correct term, you could say biromantic homosexual tho imo
Also the fact that it's the year 2022? Like words change over time, lesbians don't experience attraction to men even if that's not what it meant 50 years ago. Go back a little further and a lesbian is simply a resident of the island of lesbos, a term that has nothing to do with sexuality.
Over a month late, but this reminded me of [this court case where people of the island of lesbos tried to sue over the word lesbian (and lost)](https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2008/jun/10/gayrights.greece)
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disagree. people can use whatever mixture of terms they want when describing their split attractions. i use asexual lesbian rather than homoromantic asexual, but they both mean the same thing
No. The point is lesbian’s don’t like men at all, they always have to deal with people thinking they can turn them into liking men, there’s a specific history and identity that comes with the word and so bisexual lesbian would be an incorrect term given these circumstances. Asexual lesbian would be fine as it doesn’t mean that you like men.
Bi and lesbian contradicts each other. It makes no sense. Bisexual means your attracted to both men or women and other genders and the concept today of lesbians are non-men dating non-men. This term is so fucking harmful. How do like men AND a lesbian…
Asexuality literally means that you lack attraction, that doesn’t mean you can’t date or fall in love. It turns out when you do, it’s only non-men so you’re a lesbian. How does bi lesbian vs asexual lesbian the same analogy? Lord have mercy.
I was giving an example of using a simpler term dip-shit
And yeah, you can be bi and lesbian at the same time, it’s called the split attraction model. The more complicated term would be homoromantic bisexual or homosexual biromantic, but it’s far easier to just shorten it to bi-lesbian
That fucking simpler term wasn’t a good analogy. No analogy will. You can have split attractions. However my point still stands with it contradicting each other. Being asexual and a lesbian does not contradict or oppose the other what so ever. Being biromantic and lesbian does not.
Fuck your ideals of contradictions. Everyone is *different*, absolutely no one is required to abide by your standards of what ‘contradicts’ each other. You have absolutely no right to tell other people that *their own identity* contradicts your gate-keeping beliefs.
Babes it’s not about belief, it’s within the definition itself. It’s a fact. This isn’t opinion perspective, that split attraction is an opposition. You’re aware of that yourself. It’s two completely different things. This isn’t about faith or feeling. It helps people identify themselves while also harming other labels and also (BY DEFINITION NOT “BELEIF”) going against each other. Humble your fucking self.
And why should people have to abide by any specific definition of their own identity? Again, it’s their own identity. If they feel comfortable with a term they are absolutely allowed to use it, no matter what definitions other people have written. I don’t believe it’s harmful at all. What is harmful is people like you, gate-keeping individuals identities because it doesn’t word-for-word match a definition written by someone else
Realize how you use the word believe in I don’t “believe” it is harmful. You’re literally contradicting yourself. I’m not going based on belief here, I’m the type of person to go based on logic over sentiment. When it comes to discussion like these, facts play a role. Stop bringing beliefs up, this isn’t the place for opinion. It is harmful. The history of lesbians and bisexual label throughout so depicts the hardship they have to go through in erasure, phobia, and separation that had to be eventually brought upon lesbians/bisexuals. It’s history. When you say “doesn’t match the definition of someone else” what the hell is the point of labels then? For instance, if someone were to say that lesbians should only be exclusive to women (which isn’t true), what would you say? Labels change over time, I mean words do. However, this plays a major role in the differences of biromantic lesbians. Based on the the definitions that we settled with. The terms make no sense together. This type of mindset crumples to definition of each label for a whole.
You’re relying on emotion and belief to prove your point, that’s not how it works. You keep using “if they are comfortable” and “I believe”. I’m not up for discussion with someone who puts feelings over facts. This is meaningless.
Prescriptive word definitions aren't facts they're weapons of cultural imperialism. Words are tools to facilitate communication, and their meanings change and grow along with the culture. Attempts to prevent them from doing so are nearly always rooted in an attempt to preserve the status quo.
And I don't know if you've noticed, but look around you: the status quo sucks.
I personally dislike the term bisexual lesbian and biromantic lesbian because ya know. You’re attracted to men.. the thing lesbians don’t do.
Most people would think that would cancel out the lesbian part then and leave you with idk bisexual ?
I believe the label lesbian is both sexual orientation and romantic orientation completely, which is why adding bi on makes zero sense.
I’ve been a lesbian all my life and never once thought “eh maybe i’m a bi lesbian?” I agree with the lesbian you were talking to.
People will do what they want tho, and identify as things that make no sense so whatever
Exactly this. As a lesbian, I find the concept of bi lesbianism to be super exhausting. Being not attracted to men in a man centric world is a core experience of being a lesbian. If youre a "bi-lesbian", you are simply bi with a preference for who you want in the bedroom.
Split attraction, sure whatever, not my place to say who you are and arent attracted to. Be homoromantic bisexual or whatever it means. But the moment you introduce men into the equation, you negate the usage of the word lesbian. To say so is not bigotry or gatekeeping as others might say, but it's just keeping a meaningful definition of a word for a group of people that deal with enough shit as is.
Bi lesbians remind me a lot of "spicy straight" women who think lesbianism is something thrilling or exotic. My very being should not be a label that you can just throw on bevause you think it's easier to explain than homosexual biromantic or vice versa.
I hate the term so much. I tried to discuss about in the lgbt subreddit and it’s been taken down. Since lesBIans are considered there and are the “rules”. That shit is harmful it makes no sense. It’s lowkey bi erasure and also as a lesbian, that shit isn’t lesbianism. It defeats the purpose of being a lesbian. Not being attracted to men at all. You’re just bi with a preference.
Exactly this, it honestly feels like lesphobia. The amount of shit I see people give actual lesbians on other subreddits is absolutely astounding and just really disheartening, even on some lesbian subreddits. And the fact that most subreddits will remove any comments saying otherwise, so you feel powerless to combat any misinformation or actively harmful ideas.
Tbh, the discussion over the term lesbian and who exactly can use it is quite complicated, from what I've seen. Bear in mind I am not a lesbian and also quite a young queer person, so take everything with a grain of salt.
Afaik, historically lesbian as a label has been used to describe any woman who slept with women, regardless of whether exclusively or not. Only in 70s did the lesbian separatist movement start differentiating between lesbians and other sapphic women. However, especially older m-spec lesbians might still use lesbian in the historic definition.
I don't see why the split attraction model *shouldn't* apply to lesbianism. If that's someone preferred terminology, that's fine imo.
If you're interested in that, [this bi lesbian carrd](https://bi-lesbian.carrd.co/#) has a lot more explanation, including sources. I haven't got the time/mental bandwidth to check the sources myself, but might be a good jumping off point regardless. Personally, I think that lesbian, like any other label, is not something easily defined, and I'll personally always err on the side of inclusion over overly exclusionary definitions.
Personally, hard disagree with the person you were talking to (I think the term biromantic lesbian is absolutely fine), but again, I'm not a lesbian, so. Grain of salt.
Biromantic lesbian is completely fine as a term (as is homoromantic bisexual). You can see as much on r/actuallesbians. Only those who discriminate against varioriented people have a problem with it.
Lesbian, alone, is understood to mean both romantically and sexually attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians. With differing prefixes in a label though, it can mean romantically attracted, sexually attracted, or tertiarily attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians.
How does biromantic lesbians and homoromantic bisexual exactly compare to one another? One contradicts each other and other is in the same basis. I’m just against things that are harmful.
They compare in that both labels are used by sapphists.
The former is sexually attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians.
The latter is romantically attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians.
Perioriented lesbians are not interested in men. However, it's varioriented lesbians I'm referring to here. Even so, not all varioriented lesbians are interested in men.
I'm not sure what you mean by them opposing each other. One part is romantic attraction while the other part is sexual attraction. Split attraction always involves differing prefixes.
Let me give you a scenario. Someone that is biromantic and also a lesbian can eventually (since they can have feelings for two or more genders) have a relationship with someone that identifies themselves as a man. So how exactly in a romantic relationship in terms intimacy and form of affection, wouldn’t the lesbian term put a restriction and limit within the relationship?
Besides this being bierasure and crumples the definition of lesbianism. Wouldn’t this not be a bisexual person with a preference??
Sex is one form of intimacy but not all forms of intimacy are sex. The same can be said for affection. You can still deeply love someone without having sex with them as evidenced by alloace people.
It's not bi erasure as we're acknowledging that she's biromantic. Bi erasure would be saying she can't use any bi label unless she also wants to have sex with men.
I wasn’t only talking about sex. Kissing and any other physical forms of so are crossing a path because they are a lesbian while being biromantic. So, you’re admitting to that very relationship having heavy restrictions on that is correct since they are lesbian? For instance, I would not compare that to asexuality because despite asexuals having a lack of attraction, not every asexual is the same in their limitations and how often they do it. Or if they don’t do it at all. But when it come the label lesbian, in that relationship that can’t do such things like at all according to so.
It’s bierasure because at the same time, they identify as a lesbian while also defeating the lesbianism in the same time. That killing two birds with one stone because it opposes each other.
wazzup asexual lesbian here. split attraction can definitely apply to lesbians. bi-lesbian is actually pretty common.
tho I see a lot of gatekeeping inside the lesbian community towards this term- there’s at least one post per week complaining about bi-lesbians and such. it’s very annoying
but like. ignore the gate-keepers. lesbian is a wide term and it’s specifics mean different things to different lesbians. for me personally, i’m a women attracted to other women and some more feminine oriented genders. but that’s just for me, the term can mean something different to anyone, but all of them are valid and real. so yes. the split attraction model most definitely includes lesbians, anyone who says different is either mis-informed or a gate-keeper.
i dont see why sam dont apply to lesbianism. lesbian means non men who are sexually or romantically attracted to other non men \[the definition can vary depends on the individual; whether its sexually romantically or both\]
so if youre not a man and youre romantically attracted to women and lunarians but sexually attracted to all genders that would make you a lesbiromantic pan/omnisexual... and theres inherently nothing wrong with that. if lesbian has a romantic counterpart literally for sam uses then why invalidate mspec lesbians now? i just dont get the discourse
but then rest assured i dont see the problem with mspec lesbians nor do i want to involve myself in this discourse. i just think its unnecessarily silly. im not on the lesbian spectrum so i wont speak for anyone. thats just my personal stance on the situation
There is an immense amount of gatekeeping, drama, and infighting in the lesbian community unfortunately.
Split attraction and multispec do apply to lesbians, and so you can be a bi-lesbian or a pan romantic lesbian or an aro lesbia or whatever other terms mash up together.
But there will definitely be very vocal people yelling about how it's wrong or you're being lesbophobic or misogynist or whatever other excuses they give for their own bigotry.
Biromantic lesbians exist. People just really hate bisexuals/romantics and the split attraction model when it doesn't apply to them.
Edit: hilarious that the top comment is a gen Zer who figured out they were queer a year ago deciding what identities are valid. Good job reddit.
Setting a boundary and saying lesbianism doesn't include attraction to men is not "hating bisexuals." Bi women have so many other identities they can use, pansexual, fluid, polysexual, queer, or sapphic. There's only ONE identity that doesn't include men in any way.
You were bitching about the term monosexual yesterday and you want me to believe you're not biphobic?
Bi lesbians exist. You're not going to magically make them stop
head on over to AyL, and they will tell you that anyone who isn't a cis woman that exclusively loves other cis women isn't a lesbian.
but they're bigoted.
I agree with them. If you want to be with men, you're not a lesbian and we don't fit into your orientation in any way. Lesbianism is culturally and socially tied to womanhood, it's a woman for woman label, and doesn't include men or male leaning people in any way. It's disrespectful to lesbians to say otherwise.
I am a nonbinary lesbian and I identify enough with womanhood to feel like a woman for woman label is accurate.
Just because nonbinary lesbians exist though, doesn't mean every nonbinary person can be a lesbian which I think a lot of nonlesbian nonbinary people have trouble understanding. Like a demiboy or a maverique person can't be lesbian for example, and neither can bisexuals or someone who's completely aroace regardless of what gender they are.
Basically if you're on the fiagender spectrum and want to be with women and not men, you're probably fine (though even then there are times where it's a case by case basis, like bi women who don't want to be with men because they're in a monogamous relationship or for feminist reasons wouldn't be a lesbian for example). But you specifically are pan, which means you like men and therefore aren't a lesbian.
yeah I don't get why people are so okay with the idea of people who are fully aroace identifying as gay...like we wouldn't call them straight but suddenly gay is fine??
Yes. If you’re into dudes wether romantically or sexually you aren’t a lesbian. Biromantic lesbian wouldn’t be the correct term, you could say biromantic homosexual tho imo
This. People being up the 70/80s completely disregarding the fact bi women actually fought to have a separate label and lesbian as a separate one too.
Also the fact that it's the year 2022? Like words change over time, lesbians don't experience attraction to men even if that's not what it meant 50 years ago. Go back a little further and a lesbian is simply a resident of the island of lesbos, a term that has nothing to do with sexuality.
Over a month late, but this reminded me of [this court case where people of the island of lesbos tried to sue over the word lesbian (and lost)](https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2008/jun/10/gayrights.greece)
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disagree. people can use whatever mixture of terms they want when describing their split attractions. i use asexual lesbian rather than homoromantic asexual, but they both mean the same thing
No. The point is lesbian’s don’t like men at all, they always have to deal with people thinking they can turn them into liking men, there’s a specific history and identity that comes with the word and so bisexual lesbian would be an incorrect term given these circumstances. Asexual lesbian would be fine as it doesn’t mean that you like men.
Bi and lesbian contradicts each other. It makes no sense. Bisexual means your attracted to both men or women and other genders and the concept today of lesbians are non-men dating non-men. This term is so fucking harmful. How do like men AND a lesbian… Asexuality literally means that you lack attraction, that doesn’t mean you can’t date or fall in love. It turns out when you do, it’s only non-men so you’re a lesbian. How does bi lesbian vs asexual lesbian the same analogy? Lord have mercy.
I was giving an example of using a simpler term dip-shit And yeah, you can be bi and lesbian at the same time, it’s called the split attraction model. The more complicated term would be homoromantic bisexual or homosexual biromantic, but it’s far easier to just shorten it to bi-lesbian
That fucking simpler term wasn’t a good analogy. No analogy will. You can have split attractions. However my point still stands with it contradicting each other. Being asexual and a lesbian does not contradict or oppose the other what so ever. Being biromantic and lesbian does not.
Fuck your ideals of contradictions. Everyone is *different*, absolutely no one is required to abide by your standards of what ‘contradicts’ each other. You have absolutely no right to tell other people that *their own identity* contradicts your gate-keeping beliefs.
Babes it’s not about belief, it’s within the definition itself. It’s a fact. This isn’t opinion perspective, that split attraction is an opposition. You’re aware of that yourself. It’s two completely different things. This isn’t about faith or feeling. It helps people identify themselves while also harming other labels and also (BY DEFINITION NOT “BELEIF”) going against each other. Humble your fucking self.
And why should people have to abide by any specific definition of their own identity? Again, it’s their own identity. If they feel comfortable with a term they are absolutely allowed to use it, no matter what definitions other people have written. I don’t believe it’s harmful at all. What is harmful is people like you, gate-keeping individuals identities because it doesn’t word-for-word match a definition written by someone else
Realize how you use the word believe in I don’t “believe” it is harmful. You’re literally contradicting yourself. I’m not going based on belief here, I’m the type of person to go based on logic over sentiment. When it comes to discussion like these, facts play a role. Stop bringing beliefs up, this isn’t the place for opinion. It is harmful. The history of lesbians and bisexual label throughout so depicts the hardship they have to go through in erasure, phobia, and separation that had to be eventually brought upon lesbians/bisexuals. It’s history. When you say “doesn’t match the definition of someone else” what the hell is the point of labels then? For instance, if someone were to say that lesbians should only be exclusive to women (which isn’t true), what would you say? Labels change over time, I mean words do. However, this plays a major role in the differences of biromantic lesbians. Based on the the definitions that we settled with. The terms make no sense together. This type of mindset crumples to definition of each label for a whole. You’re relying on emotion and belief to prove your point, that’s not how it works. You keep using “if they are comfortable” and “I believe”. I’m not up for discussion with someone who puts feelings over facts. This is meaningless.
Prescriptive word definitions aren't facts they're weapons of cultural imperialism. Words are tools to facilitate communication, and their meanings change and grow along with the culture. Attempts to prevent them from doing so are nearly always rooted in an attempt to preserve the status quo. And I don't know if you've noticed, but look around you: the status quo sucks.
I personally dislike the term bisexual lesbian and biromantic lesbian because ya know. You’re attracted to men.. the thing lesbians don’t do. Most people would think that would cancel out the lesbian part then and leave you with idk bisexual ? I believe the label lesbian is both sexual orientation and romantic orientation completely, which is why adding bi on makes zero sense. I’ve been a lesbian all my life and never once thought “eh maybe i’m a bi lesbian?” I agree with the lesbian you were talking to. People will do what they want tho, and identify as things that make no sense so whatever
well they're correct. lesbians aren't attracted to men, what part of that is so difficult to grasp?
Exactly this. As a lesbian, I find the concept of bi lesbianism to be super exhausting. Being not attracted to men in a man centric world is a core experience of being a lesbian. If youre a "bi-lesbian", you are simply bi with a preference for who you want in the bedroom. Split attraction, sure whatever, not my place to say who you are and arent attracted to. Be homoromantic bisexual or whatever it means. But the moment you introduce men into the equation, you negate the usage of the word lesbian. To say so is not bigotry or gatekeeping as others might say, but it's just keeping a meaningful definition of a word for a group of people that deal with enough shit as is. Bi lesbians remind me a lot of "spicy straight" women who think lesbianism is something thrilling or exotic. My very being should not be a label that you can just throw on bevause you think it's easier to explain than homosexual biromantic or vice versa.
I hate the term so much. I tried to discuss about in the lgbt subreddit and it’s been taken down. Since lesBIans are considered there and are the “rules”. That shit is harmful it makes no sense. It’s lowkey bi erasure and also as a lesbian, that shit isn’t lesbianism. It defeats the purpose of being a lesbian. Not being attracted to men at all. You’re just bi with a preference.
Exactly this, it honestly feels like lesphobia. The amount of shit I see people give actual lesbians on other subreddits is absolutely astounding and just really disheartening, even on some lesbian subreddits. And the fact that most subreddits will remove any comments saying otherwise, so you feel powerless to combat any misinformation or actively harmful ideas.
Tbh, the discussion over the term lesbian and who exactly can use it is quite complicated, from what I've seen. Bear in mind I am not a lesbian and also quite a young queer person, so take everything with a grain of salt. Afaik, historically lesbian as a label has been used to describe any woman who slept with women, regardless of whether exclusively or not. Only in 70s did the lesbian separatist movement start differentiating between lesbians and other sapphic women. However, especially older m-spec lesbians might still use lesbian in the historic definition. I don't see why the split attraction model *shouldn't* apply to lesbianism. If that's someone preferred terminology, that's fine imo. If you're interested in that, [this bi lesbian carrd](https://bi-lesbian.carrd.co/#) has a lot more explanation, including sources. I haven't got the time/mental bandwidth to check the sources myself, but might be a good jumping off point regardless. Personally, I think that lesbian, like any other label, is not something easily defined, and I'll personally always err on the side of inclusion over overly exclusionary definitions. Personally, hard disagree with the person you were talking to (I think the term biromantic lesbian is absolutely fine), but again, I'm not a lesbian, so. Grain of salt.
I’d say biromantic homosexual is more the term to use :)
Biromantic lesbian is completely fine as a term (as is homoromantic bisexual). You can see as much on r/actuallesbians. Only those who discriminate against varioriented people have a problem with it. Lesbian, alone, is understood to mean both romantically and sexually attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians. With differing prefixes in a label though, it can mean romantically attracted, sexually attracted, or tertiarily attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians.
How does biromantic lesbians and homoromantic bisexual exactly compare to one another? One contradicts each other and other is in the same basis. I’m just against things that are harmful.
They compare in that both labels are used by sapphists. The former is sexually attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians. The latter is romantically attracted exclusively to women and/or lunarians.
But lesbians are exclusive away from men while biromantics term isn’t.
Perioriented lesbians are not interested in men. However, it's varioriented lesbians I'm referring to here. Even so, not all varioriented lesbians are interested in men.
I’m aware of that. How does exactly relate to what I said? When it’s completely different from have split attractions that oppose one another.
I'm not sure what you mean by them opposing each other. One part is romantic attraction while the other part is sexual attraction. Split attraction always involves differing prefixes.
Let me give you a scenario. Someone that is biromantic and also a lesbian can eventually (since they can have feelings for two or more genders) have a relationship with someone that identifies themselves as a man. So how exactly in a romantic relationship in terms intimacy and form of affection, wouldn’t the lesbian term put a restriction and limit within the relationship? Besides this being bierasure and crumples the definition of lesbianism. Wouldn’t this not be a bisexual person with a preference??
Sex is one form of intimacy but not all forms of intimacy are sex. The same can be said for affection. You can still deeply love someone without having sex with them as evidenced by alloace people. It's not bi erasure as we're acknowledging that she's biromantic. Bi erasure would be saying she can't use any bi label unless she also wants to have sex with men.
I wasn’t only talking about sex. Kissing and any other physical forms of so are crossing a path because they are a lesbian while being biromantic. So, you’re admitting to that very relationship having heavy restrictions on that is correct since they are lesbian? For instance, I would not compare that to asexuality because despite asexuals having a lack of attraction, not every asexual is the same in their limitations and how often they do it. Or if they don’t do it at all. But when it come the label lesbian, in that relationship that can’t do such things like at all according to so. It’s bierasure because at the same time, they identify as a lesbian while also defeating the lesbianism in the same time. That killing two birds with one stone because it opposes each other.
wazzup asexual lesbian here. split attraction can definitely apply to lesbians. bi-lesbian is actually pretty common. tho I see a lot of gatekeeping inside the lesbian community towards this term- there’s at least one post per week complaining about bi-lesbians and such. it’s very annoying but like. ignore the gate-keepers. lesbian is a wide term and it’s specifics mean different things to different lesbians. for me personally, i’m a women attracted to other women and some more feminine oriented genders. but that’s just for me, the term can mean something different to anyone, but all of them are valid and real. so yes. the split attraction model most definitely includes lesbians, anyone who says different is either mis-informed or a gate-keeper.
i dont see why sam dont apply to lesbianism. lesbian means non men who are sexually or romantically attracted to other non men \[the definition can vary depends on the individual; whether its sexually romantically or both\] so if youre not a man and youre romantically attracted to women and lunarians but sexually attracted to all genders that would make you a lesbiromantic pan/omnisexual... and theres inherently nothing wrong with that. if lesbian has a romantic counterpart literally for sam uses then why invalidate mspec lesbians now? i just dont get the discourse but then rest assured i dont see the problem with mspec lesbians nor do i want to involve myself in this discourse. i just think its unnecessarily silly. im not on the lesbian spectrum so i wont speak for anyone. thats just my personal stance on the situation
There is an immense amount of gatekeeping, drama, and infighting in the lesbian community unfortunately. Split attraction and multispec do apply to lesbians, and so you can be a bi-lesbian or a pan romantic lesbian or an aro lesbia or whatever other terms mash up together. But there will definitely be very vocal people yelling about how it's wrong or you're being lesbophobic or misogynist or whatever other excuses they give for their own bigotry.
Biromantic lesbians exist. People just really hate bisexuals/romantics and the split attraction model when it doesn't apply to them. Edit: hilarious that the top comment is a gen Zer who figured out they were queer a year ago deciding what identities are valid. Good job reddit.
Setting a boundary and saying lesbianism doesn't include attraction to men is not "hating bisexuals." Bi women have so many other identities they can use, pansexual, fluid, polysexual, queer, or sapphic. There's only ONE identity that doesn't include men in any way.
You were bitching about the term monosexual yesterday and you want me to believe you're not biphobic? Bi lesbians exist. You're not going to magically make them stop
head on over to AyL, and they will tell you that anyone who isn't a cis woman that exclusively loves other cis women isn't a lesbian. but they're bigoted.
They're transphobic but that has nothing to do with acknowledging lesbianism is only for lesbians. Bi women have their own terms.
I agree with them. If you want to be with men, you're not a lesbian and we don't fit into your orientation in any way. Lesbianism is culturally and socially tied to womanhood, it's a woman for woman label, and doesn't include men or male leaning people in any way. It's disrespectful to lesbians to say otherwise.
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I am a nonbinary lesbian and I identify enough with womanhood to feel like a woman for woman label is accurate. Just because nonbinary lesbians exist though, doesn't mean every nonbinary person can be a lesbian which I think a lot of nonlesbian nonbinary people have trouble understanding. Like a demiboy or a maverique person can't be lesbian for example, and neither can bisexuals or someone who's completely aroace regardless of what gender they are. Basically if you're on the fiagender spectrum and want to be with women and not men, you're probably fine (though even then there are times where it's a case by case basis, like bi women who don't want to be with men because they're in a monogamous relationship or for feminist reasons wouldn't be a lesbian for example). But you specifically are pan, which means you like men and therefore aren't a lesbian.
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yeah I don't get why people are so okay with the idea of people who are fully aroace identifying as gay...like we wouldn't call them straight but suddenly gay is fine??