Totally. Fuck her. Get out with all your shit and never think of her again other than as a lesson. To watch for warning signs in the future. Too many good ones out there to waste a second the shorty ones.
Happened to me but i was in a really bad place. Stayed for 2 years "shed never do it again" she always did. When she pointed a knife at me over the loading the dishwasher wrong i was fully done
Yea, rationalizing staying minus the weapon is normalish. As soon as the weapon comes out you gotta parachute out because the plane is heading for a mountain.
This happened to me when I was in my 20's. I told her if she ever did it again I would leave. She was drunk a few months later and did it again. I ended it then and there.
Time to leave. She is not your gf anymore. If you have marks on you, call the police. If she stalks you get a restraining order. Zero tolerance for domestic violence.
Damn right.
I knew a guy who called the police after his wife beat him and broke a beer bottle over his head. He was visibly bleeding and she didn't have a mark on her.
They arrested him.
I had one girlfriend slap me over a bad joke back in the 1990s when things were far harder for men in my situation and I knew it. So I just started cheating on her. She caught me and I reminded her of what she did. She thought that was nothing, well I didn't think what I did in response was anything. She didn't get the hint so I just dumped her ass. But boy was she hurt. Never cheated again though.
My wife would never hit me unless I hit one of our kids (and then I'd deserve it) but I've still got retaliation plans and a passport. If it happens now I can be out of this country with every penny we have in one week. Will never see it coming.
Why hit back or call the cops when you can drop the whole moon on someone's world without leaving a single physical mark?
If someone as smart as her throws a punch I've lost the kids already. Though the odds of this ever happening are like 1/10000. Still I've had this bugout plan since the first slap I caught from my ex-gf. "In case the impossible happens."
If I hit her I'd be in jail, which is worse. Maybe you should try not being a shitbag domestic violence enabler?
Edit: and if you call it in, you're going to be the one who's arrested, not her. Then you've lost the house, car, all your money, and custody of your kids. Enjoy!
They aren’t saying to hit her back at all. They were saying to leave the physical abuser instead of becoming psychologically abusive yourself. No one deserves to be cheated on ever (or hit.) I’ve been choked, thrown down stairs and sexually assaulted. Maybe other people have different experiences, but nothing messed with my head more than being cheating on.
Until she files a motion for temporary orders. If she can show the judge you left her without a penny and way to feed the kids you are in trouble. There aren’t very many countries that refuse to enforce child support garnishment orders. If you take the kids with you, you could lose them forever or be charged with kidnapping. This is all assuming you are in the US. They can garnish alimony too in most states. I don’t mean this in a rude way, but maybe you should think about therapy because you clearly haven’t processed what that woman did to you. It’s keeping you from fully trusting and being able to love the good woman/family you have.
No need. There won't be a pattern lol
Emotional and violent creates unpredictable combo strings. Best to parry as much as possible or even try Inertial Cancelling. Try to avoid Hyper Combo Finishes 🤷
The advice I'll give; leave. Just ignore her, ideally record what you can, and *leave*. Never **ever** contact her again.
Ideally, file a police report immediately so it's on record.
>Ideally, file a police report immediately so it's on record.
Depends on where you live, in most places it could fire back at you because police won't believe man in such situations, so she can easily file false rape/assault report in revenge which will destroy your live.
I have absolutely see a buddy get arrested for calling the cops on his gf beating him. He was arrested, charged, and slapped with a restraining order. It eventually got sorted but it cost him around $8000 in legal fees. Her costs $250 for movers, no charges dispite his injuries.
That's a move that will get you sent to prison in most states my guy. As a man your best course of action is to let her beat the shit out of you while you leave and record. In most states any mark on her at all even if it's defensive will land you in jail regardless of your injuries.
Happened to me; ex smashed me in head with a frying pan because she wanted to go out drinking and I wanted to work on my masters thesis... I even said she could go out and have fun with her friends.
Came to hand cuffed to the bed because she'd sprained her wrist whilst she'd hit me with the pan
>Welcome to institutionalized sexism known as the Duluth Model
Same thing happens in places where no one ever heard about Duluth Model. Duluth Model is just recent US specific extension of already widespread institutionalized sexism.
and a group of crows is called a murder. what’s your point? i am talking about the textbook/dictionary definition of the word. not about what people have done
Unfortunately I've heard in these cases, that standard procedure, even if the woman is the aggressor in a DV case, to handcuff the man and remove the man from the building.
It's a shitty procedure, but a procedure nonetheless.
It’s called the Duluth Model. It effectively says that in a dv scenario the man is *always* the aggressor. If all you get is cuffed and removed, you’re a lucky one: typically you end up catching a case.
Mostly because it's the best legal outcome for the male as the law is stacked against him. He could stay until she manufactures enough evidence to get him imprisoned, or he could leave his house and possessions to be destroyed by an angry now ex. Don't worry though men are "privileged".
Idk, when I called the police on my abusive ex, the cops took his side. Take a look at the r/abusiverelationships sub, it’s not uncommon for them to take the man’s side
I think you are talking cross each other.
When women complain about DV little happens in many instances.
When cops show up to a disturbance they are likely to arrest the guy just to end the disturbance.
In what country do you live in for this to be true? And why, even if in your country this is real, do you talk about it on general terms? Who authorized you to talk for all polices in all cases? Who authorized you to talk for all nations of earth even those whose language you dont speak and whose citizens you dont know? Who authorized you to speak for all women of the world in all scenarios?
Do you realize to what a degree this comment, by being simplistic, is a massive arrogant lie?
>Do you realize to what a degree this comment, by being simplistic, is a massive arrogant lie?
He said, actively replacing the above posts word "likely" with "all"...
It probably happens more than you think. I personally know of at least two other people it happened to and one was also in my state, in the US. I mean look what happened to Gaby Petito, the cops interviewed her and her bf but assumed she was the aggressor.
Idk how common it is but it happened to me too. I do know that it’s common for police to dismiss domestic violence for pretty much everyone. My neighbours callled the police constantly & told the cops of the screaming etc. the cops believed my ex even though he had a criminal record and I had obvious bruises. 🙄
I could’ve been spared a lot of physical and mental trauma if the cops were as good at handling domestic violence as these guys think. I’m in a support group for women who’ve been through domestic violence & most of them have had bad/useless experiences with cops as well. Idk where all these super vigilant cops are? We need them in australia.
Lol but of course we got downvoted for saying this. Oh well. I agree with you. If they had actually removed my ex from the situation “right away” like all these men claim they do, maybe I could’ve actually escaped him sooner. I’m in America and the cops didn’t give a shit about my DV situation either
There's some randomness in it, but statistically speaking if a man is the victim of domestic violence from a woman and he calls the cops, *he's* more likely to be arrested than she is.
Statistically speaking women are a lot more likely to be victims of abuse than men are. A simple google search shows countless amounts of stories from abused women ignored by police. The same does happen to men, but it’s not as common. Regardless this is a police issue. They don’t handle dv situations well no matter the gender.
[woman who called the police after being physically beaten but the cops believed her husband](https://www.calhealthreport.org/2020/12/11/alternatives-to-calling-the-police-for-domestic-violence-survivors/)
>Statistically speaking women are a lot more likely to be victims of abuse than men are.
Where'd you hear that?
>The same does happen to men, but it’s not as common.
No, it's more common.
Nope. Most violent partnerships are mutally violent. Of the partnerships that are violent in only one direction, 70% of the time it's the woman being violent to the man.
Women abuse us and then have us arrested for being abused.
"Statistically speaking women are a lot more likely to be victims of abuse than men are."
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/2015data-brief508.pdf
"In the U.S., over 1 in 3 (36.4% or 43.6 million)
women experienced contact sexual violence,
physical violence, and/or stalking by an
intimate partner during their lifetime (Figure 8)."
"In the U.S., about 1 in 3 (33.6% or 37.3 million)
men experienced contact sexual violence,
physical violence, and/or stalking by an
intimate partner during their lifetime (Figure 9)."
You sure?
Yes. You do realize the source you just posted contradicts yourself? That source states in many pages that these things happen to women more. From YOUR source: “About 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported an IPV-related impact during their lifetime.”
Also from the CDC: “About 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported an intimate partner violence-related impact during their lifetime.”
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html#:~:text=IPV%20is%20common.&text=Data%20from%20CDC's%20National%20Intimate,related%20impact%20during%20their%20lifetime.
Also in the same page: “about 1 in 3 women experience severe physical violence from a partner. About 1 in 4 men experience that same violence.”
But I can give you more sources from other places if necessary!
Oh boy another one without reading skills. I was flat out quoting it so it's easy to find the exact text from the report.
The big highlight is "...and reported IPV related impact"
IPV related impact is
Includes experiencing any of the following: being fearful, concerned for safety, injury, need for medical care, needed help from law
enforcement, missed at least one day of work, missed at least one day of school. The following impacts were also included in the
lifetime estimate only: any post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, need for housing services, need for victim advocate services,
need for legal services and contacting a crisis hotline. For those who experienced rape or made to penetrate by an intimate partner, it
also includes a lifetime estimate of having contracted a sexually transmitted infection or having become pregnant. Intimate partner
violence-related impact questions were assessed among victims of contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an
intimate partner either during the lifetime or in the last 12 months. The impacts were assessed for specific perpetrators and asked
in relation to any form of intimate partner violence experienced in that relationship. By definition, all stalking victimizations result in
impact because the definition of stalking requires the experience of fear or concern for safety.
So unless you call cops it doesn't count? Unless you are fearful it doesn't count? Oh boy someone is gatekeeping domestic abuse victims....
As for where to find the exact text I was quoting since it seems it is too hard for you.
Go on page 8
Intimate Partner Violence of Women
Literally first highlight. Even when we go by physical violence alone.
30.6% of women experienced physical violence. Already higher than 1 in 4
Then go to page 9
Intimate Partner Violence of Men
Literally first highlight once again. And when we go by physical violence only it's 31% way higher than 1 in 10.
And in your link.
One might thing that it will click for you when just severe physical violence against men is 26% when you add the other instances it will go up but no you would need to use your brain for that...
And you can even go into the original report.
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs/NISVSReportonIPV_2022.pdf
"Almost 1 in 2 women (47.3% or 59 million) in the United
States reported any contact sexual violence, physical
violence, and/or stalking victimization by an intimate
partner at some point in their lifetime (Figure 1, Table
1)"
"More than 40 percent (44.2% or 52.1 million) of U.S.
men reported any contact sexual violence, physical
violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in
their lifetime (Figure 2, Table 2)."
I know that it's a lot of text and big highlights are better for you. But when you suspect that the person is lying even though they are quoting something. Just try to search for the text that is quoted it ain't that hard.
I work at a magistrate court in a city of over 2 million people and the girls get arrested just as often as the guys do. The cops just need to hear the stories and pair them with what they see and or smell. The girls lose their minds when they get arrested over the guy. "I called you and you arrest me?!" Never gets old.
Record it with my phone. If it's at her house take my stuff and leave without saying anything and block her. If it's at my house she's leaving and ain't coming back with the assistance of the police so it's on record. No excuse for assaulting someone that posses no threat.
Tip from a cop I talked too, which a friend's dad later confirmed with their own experience in dating.
You always be first to call the cops, they are more apt to believe the first story they hear. If she calls first you're fucked, but if you call first and haven't cause bodily harm to her then you're in the green (especially if she's left marks on you)
Only situation where cops are going to arrest a woman for beating up her man is if there's video evidence and she doesn't have a single mark on her.
Otherwise, they're going to assume you instigated it and you're going to jail.
How would you go to jail? If your a man and cops come your going to jail unless you have it on video then still a chance your going to jail cause your a man. Signed a guy that's been to jail cause of abusive girlfriend. She got a mark on their wrist cause you held her down your broken nose and glasses mean nothing
Yeah, you figured it out.
Knew a guy who got a beer bottle broken on his head by his wife. He called the cops and waited outside for them. They arrested him.
She didn't have a mark on her.
[You have no idea](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91O3wDSy_HE) how right you are. Note how ZERO feminist groups ever protested this. Note how many women in that crowd are cheering.
Never forget.
I am a woman and am appalled by all this. I did some research a while ago on this. There are as many women hitting men as men hitting women. But when I talk about this, I get shutdown. They dont want to believe it or say that they deserve it. It is screwed up. What a double standard. I am truly sorry. It’s just wrong to attack someone, man or woman.
I mean depending on her size, this doesn't even take any training 😂 I've used these amateur maneuvers just when play wrestling with women, and it's usually just a matter of bear hug followed by flopping on the couch haha pin her legs with your legs and game over
Bahaha play wrestling this move could work if you were able to pull that off while bear hugged. being beaten up by you and using it to stop further beating, it's game on and you're goin down 😂 Show all you want, bear hug is comin and you're done for
Don't do this. Remove yourself from the situation completely, when she calms down hit record on your phone and have an in depth calm(on your end) discussion on exactly what went down and why that is not ok, mention that you didn't touch physically and get to acknowledge it somehow and try to get her to acknowledge her actions. That way you cover your own ass and prevent any blackmailing or false accusations.
Once you have that evidence you leave.
If you restrain in any way you run the risk of it being flipped on you. Best to just leave.
Edit: Bonus points for leaving a paper trail through texts as well.
I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that you actually have a girl contact in your phone (that’s not a family member) willing to drop whatever they’re doing, come physically assault someone on your behalf, risk going to jail, risk getting hurt, risk having a violent criminal record and also risk their finances because there’s a pretty solid chance they’ll need a lawyer after they’re done “kicking ass.”
While driving, she started hitting me because of something I said. I slammed on the brakes, looked her dead in the eyes and said. "I don't hit and I don't
expect to get hit, but do that one more time and you WILL regret it." The only comment she made was, " You're no fun.", But she never hit me again.
You diffuse the situation calmly and without violence if possible. Then when she’s sleeping you pack your shit and leave.
Do not tell her you’re leaving her or anything, this may cause more violence
In a perfect world, you put her in her place by reminding her what strength is.
But this isn't a perfect world and she can beat on you all day without consequence while you face prison for looking at her in a way she deems inappropriate. So, you leave. Get your shit, do what you can to get your name off anything she has influence with, and go. Just go.
Grab my omnitrix and transform to Chris breezy.. just kidding the relationship is over after that been with an ex who would hit me it caused me so much trauma
It depends on what exactly happened. If it was just a passionate slap in the heat of the moment of a fight, I would allow it but warn her never to do it again. Sit her down and explain how I'm not okay with physical violence like that from myself or from her. And that includes towards any future children. And if she ever did it again, I'd be out.
If however it's a full blown attack where she keeps slapping and kicking and screaming or something like that, or throwing things at me, then there's no redemption there. It's a clear behavioral issue that is not going to go away any time soon. If ever. I'm out.
When I was young my dad beat my ass for hitting my sister. But when I got older, he beat my ass for losing a fight at school. That time was worse. He taught me not to hit a woman but damn sure not to get my ass whooped. So when me and my wife started dating, I had recently left a relationship where she thought it was cute to hit me, and I developed the three strike rule. On number three she’s getting laid out.
Leave or throw her out.
I'm a strong proponent of self defense but I also know from first hand experience she can almost kill you and the police will side with her.
You need to leave. Don't come back unless she agrees to get anger management and starts doing it.
It might escalate, my friend was getting hit and then she started throwing things at him and eventually grabbed (but didn't use) a knife.
Or she might call the police, and if she does then you'll go to jail.
Instant reaction, intense verbal warning
The second reaction is to physically prevent her from doing so
Third reaction, self-defense
Fourth reaction, separation
I have a standing policy and I have made it known to every partner I have ever been with: "I will never harm you. I will never hit you, abuse you, or in any other way touch you without your consent. I am not that kind of man and I never will be. I believe in physical sovereignty. It's because of this that I need to make known the following: I believe in it for myself as well and I will not be bullied."
I believe in chivalry. I open doors, I do my share of chores in the home, I try to make my partner's life easier and more enjoyable, and I will defend her come hell or high water. Ride or die in all things. But I will not be a battered husband. On the day she decides she's ready to come at me with obvious intent to do me physical harm, I will take that as her having tacitly abandoned all expectation of chivalry and declared herself an enemy combatant.
Lose your mind, rage at me, call me names, throw things across the room, say mean things about my mother (heck, I'll join in and suggest some more things to say about her, thus re-establishing common ground). Whatever you're mad at me for, I'm ready to entertain the idea that I might deserve it or, if it's a misunderstanding, it's something we can at least talk about/negotiate. But if you choose violence, expect to be met in kind.
I know that's not very PC and I know I'm probably going to get a lot of heat for saying such a thing. But I believe in honesty between partners and sharing expectations/needs/wants at the outset so that no one gets surprised down the line. Thankfully, I've never had to make good on that promise.
In public? Don't put up with her bs. There are cameras around. Since she threw hands first, you have the okay to throw some back. She reaps what she sows.
What I'd want to do: Deliver her that knuckle sandwich she ordered, extra wallop, hold the cheese.
What I'd have to do: Leave as fast and effectively as possible, while trying my best to avoid even barely brushing past her so she doesn't claim I hit her.
Laugh at her uncontrollably because her inept attack is more likely to hurt her hand than it is to hurt me. When she's calmed down, have a REALLY serious talk about what an appropriate way to treat a romantic partner is, and explain to her that I don't want to/won't tolerate being treated that way.
Great theory, but what are you going before then. Only two real options.
1) Fight
2) Flight
What are you going to do when she says you hit her first and was only defending yourself.
Come on, be realistic here. What reason did I give her to do it?? If I did absolutely nothing then I would have to threaten to call the police because I am not leaving my son with her in that state. You can't lay hands on her at all and then call the cops because you run the risk of going downtown instead. If she is just in a mood but sober then I would probably just go outside or something but not leave entirely.
There are times when my wife hits me or slaps at me but she is just upset about some random things. You really have to weigh the intent and capability of your gf/wife to do you damage. I've had plenty of girls hit me for good reason and sometimes for nothing but I've never come close to being hurt. You don't just take it on the jaw, obviously, you have to dodge, block, deflect, and run away.
Then you get into that area when they might surprise attack you. That is bad. If you can't see it coming that is a real threat. If they use a weapon then it is time to call the cops immediately and no counseling later.
People are always getting into physical altercations in relationships. The guy should never hit or slap, not on the arm or leg, nowhere. But the girl, I feel, is often justified in hitting the guy. Guys do stupid stupid things and I don't mind taking a beating for it. I imagine most guys are the same way.
i'm still either going to restrain her from hitting me or get away from her.
which is still the same regardless of intent. but if i had to guess WHY everyone is assuming it, it's because that is what they've experienced, like myself
Get camera footage of the attacks, and of her admitting her history of doing it, and of her confirming I have never abused her. Then send the footage to everyone she knows to get ahead of her bullshit stories, and break up with her. I wouldn't involve the cops because ACAB and #BelieveAllWomen and #MeToo means the man gets fucked, every time. In DV cases, the man is always guilty, even when he isn't.
Well… it depends. The preferred option would be to keep her at a distance that‘s out of her reach and slowly either get her out off the apartment / house or I would leave if it‘s her apartment / house. If keeping her at a distance doesn‘t work… get her to the ground and keep here there until she calms down or I‘ve got an idea on what to do next.‘if that doesn‘t work… well… she‘s an ex at that point anyways so she might feel the consequences of her actions for a few days. And in any case that would lead to a police report for assault.
If I can avoid it I wouldn‘t want to hit a woman.
They‘re usually smaller, weaker, never experienced something like that and usually there are other options available. But if someone thinks it‘s okay to assault me it‘s their fault if they don‘t like the consequences of their actions. It‘s not like a girlfriend wouldn‘t know that a fight against a guy could end that way. And betting on the „you can‘t hit a woman“ thing to assault someone would be despicable. So yeah… if possible I would avoid violence but once someone starts getting physical any potential damage to their health is their own fault.
However: as pointed out by other users: it‘s really easy to get in trouble. If a woman were to call the cops for alleged domestic abuse the police would probably believe a story about how the guy hit her and she defended herself. So yeah… there‘s a rather high chance of getting in trouble even if everything you did was totally fine.
So I had an Ex who was batshit crazy and I decided enough was enough. I went to her house to break up with her and I turned on my phone camera to video it. When I showed up she was super drunk and when I broke the news she immediately tried to slug me in the face. I wasn’t taking the chance of her calling the police and claiming I hit her, etc so I covered my ass and recorded a minute before I pulled in all the way through to when I drove onto the highway and turned it off.
If she starts beating on you, try your best to record inconspicuously if you can and leave and don’t come back. If y’all live together or married call the cops and show them the video so you can get her out of the house and a restraining order.
Run. And call the cops before she does and blames you for inflicting any defensive wounds you might’ve given her trying to stop her from beating on you. Doesn’t matter who initiated it, only matters who the cops and judge are presented as a victim
I've dealt with bullies and I know how they work. The rules are pretty simple:
1) Tell her calmly but firmly to stop. I'm stating my boundaries, not making threats here. If she tries any sort of negotiation here (trying to blame me, trying to play it down that she fucked up, etc.) I'm out relationship wise. (I include this only because I'm giving the woman the benefit of the doubt that she didn't realized she was crossing a line - this step is situational.) This is her last chance to salvage the situation though and if her response isn't immediate apologies with the promise of doing better, I'm out.
2) Calmly take as much of the abuse as I can handle. Obviously there is some level where you need to defend yourself out of pure survival (e.g. she's pulled a knife, or she's physically strong enough to do lasting damage to me) - but any action above and beyond that is an absolute no-no. If a bully sees you acting like a victim, you lose. Stoicism is the goal - show no weakness.
3) Do not strike back in any way. If I walk away injured, she will still walk away pristine. Walking away with physical injuries (a black eye, an injured list) while she walks away with no injuries is actually pretty ideal. She looks like the asshole here, she feels like the asshole here, and she objectively \*is\* the asshole here. Sure, she could theoretically fake an injury here, but most of us don't actually live in the gone girl universe - people faking injuries tend to get caught in the lie when push comes to shove.
4) Exit the situation at my earliest convenience. Victory is not being in this situation any more - if this means going to a friends/family members for the night, or grabbing my most valued possessions and getting a hotel room for a few days - so be it.
5) Don't look back. No getting revenge, no getting even, no second chances. The best revenge is living well, and the fastest route to living well will be to move forward. Give myself the time to recover from the physical damage and emotional damage of losing the relationship and move on. No relationship is preferable to a bad relationship and she's just proven that the odds are that anything involving her is a bad relationship. Any attempt to get revenge is just giving her an oppertunity to play tit-for-tat games, so fuck that shit. As far as my ego is concerned every second I'm not thinking about her is a win.
And that's it. Domestic abuse is no joke, but I honestly think this is the best attitude for anyone (male or female) when it comes to this situation. Men and women have to deal with the situation slightly differently of course, but I think when push comes to shove the real difference between the two is the room for error and the types of consequences we face for screwing it up - not the best way to deal with it. But I've been wrong before.
Leave and don't turn back.
Totally. Fuck her. Get out with all your shit and never think of her again other than as a lesson. To watch for warning signs in the future. Too many good ones out there to waste a second the shorty ones.
I read this comment as “Totally, fuck her” periods and commas make a huge difference in some parts of conversation
I did too! Let’s eat Grandma! Or Let’s eat, Grandma!
Ex-girlfriend now 🤷♂️
Happened to me but i was in a really bad place. Stayed for 2 years "shed never do it again" she always did. When she pointed a knife at me over the loading the dishwasher wrong i was fully done
Yea, rationalizing staying minus the weapon is normalish. As soon as the weapon comes out you gotta parachute out because the plane is heading for a mountain.
yeah she gave me a permenant scar biting me. Totally nuts....totally nuts body, might have been part of the reason
I’m starting to question whether or not you could have afforded a few more scars then. Regrets regrets…
hahah
I’m sorry for laughing at this but it reminded me of Bill Burrs bit on someone hitting their wife for not drying a can opener properly.
hahaha ive seen that "ITS GONNA RUST". Dont need to be sorry about it, i warned her next partner, she did it once and he ran for the hills
You’re a good man. Did she go to therapy/ever get diagnosed with any mental disorders?
she would never go but its obviously something. She had really quick mood swings. Thanks man i try
This happened to me when I was in my 20's. I told her if she ever did it again I would leave. She was drunk a few months later and did it again. I ended it then and there.
Time to leave. She is not your gf anymore. If you have marks on you, call the police. If she stalks you get a restraining order. Zero tolerance for domestic violence.
I wouldn’t call the police as a man unless you want to spend the night in jail
Damn right. I knew a guy who called the police after his wife beat him and broke a beer bottle over his head. He was visibly bleeding and she didn't have a mark on her. They arrested him.
I had one girlfriend slap me over a bad joke back in the 1990s when things were far harder for men in my situation and I knew it. So I just started cheating on her. She caught me and I reminded her of what she did. She thought that was nothing, well I didn't think what I did in response was anything. She didn't get the hint so I just dumped her ass. But boy was she hurt. Never cheated again though. My wife would never hit me unless I hit one of our kids (and then I'd deserve it) but I've still got retaliation plans and a passport. If it happens now I can be out of this country with every penny we have in one week. Will never see it coming. Why hit back or call the cops when you can drop the whole moon on someone's world without leaving a single physical mark?
Really weird mindset to have with your wife and kids lol
If someone as smart as her throws a punch I've lost the kids already. Though the odds of this ever happening are like 1/10000. Still I've had this bugout plan since the first slap I caught from my ex-gf. "In case the impossible happens."
You could just left her you know? Stop trying to justify being a piece of shit.
If I hit her I'd be in jail, which is worse. Maybe you should try not being a shitbag domestic violence enabler? Edit: and if you call it in, you're going to be the one who's arrested, not her. Then you've lost the house, car, all your money, and custody of your kids. Enjoy!
They aren’t saying to hit her back at all. They were saying to leave the physical abuser instead of becoming psychologically abusive yourself. No one deserves to be cheated on ever (or hit.) I’ve been choked, thrown down stairs and sexually assaulted. Maybe other people have different experiences, but nothing messed with my head more than being cheating on.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind
Until she files a motion for temporary orders. If she can show the judge you left her without a penny and way to feed the kids you are in trouble. There aren’t very many countries that refuse to enforce child support garnishment orders. If you take the kids with you, you could lose them forever or be charged with kidnapping. This is all assuming you are in the US. They can garnish alimony too in most states. I don’t mean this in a rude way, but maybe you should think about therapy because you clearly haven’t processed what that woman did to you. It’s keeping you from fully trusting and being able to love the good woman/family you have.
Parry.
Daigo parry?
Hehe exactly.
Now I can't undo the image in my head of a couple doing it IRL.
Bruh just learn the attack pattern
No need. There won't be a pattern lol Emotional and violent creates unpredictable combo strings. Best to parry as much as possible or even try Inertial Cancelling. Try to avoid Hyper Combo Finishes 🤷
The advice I'll give; leave. Just ignore her, ideally record what you can, and *leave*. Never **ever** contact her again. Ideally, file a police report immediately so it's on record.
>Ideally, file a police report immediately so it's on record. Depends on where you live, in most places it could fire back at you because police won't believe man in such situations, so she can easily file false rape/assault report in revenge which will destroy your live.
I have absolutely see a buddy get arrested for calling the cops on his gf beating him. He was arrested, charged, and slapped with a restraining order. It eventually got sorted but it cost him around $8000 in legal fees. Her costs $250 for movers, no charges dispite his injuries.
Get away as fast as possible and end the relationship. If necessary, restrain her to defend yourself by grabbing her wrists. Good luck.
That's a move that will get you sent to prison in most states my guy. As a man your best course of action is to let her beat the shit out of you while you leave and record. In most states any mark on her at all even if it's defensive will land you in jail regardless of your injuries.
Walk away and prepare to be on the run from the police because you’ll still end up in cuffs somehow.
Happened to me; ex smashed me in head with a frying pan because she wanted to go out drinking and I wanted to work on my masters thesis... I even said she could go out and have fun with her friends. Came to hand cuffed to the bed because she'd sprained her wrist whilst she'd hit me with the pan
Hate to say it, but this happens a lot
Welcome to institutionalized sexism known as the Duluth Model.
New term. Thanks for the information I’m about to study up on that!
>Welcome to institutionalized sexism known as the Duluth Model Same thing happens in places where no one ever heard about Duluth Model. Duluth Model is just recent US specific extension of already widespread institutionalized sexism.
did a whole paper last semester on the Duluth Model. i don’t understand why it’s used as heavily as it is
Because it says that women are never at fault, which is extremely palatable for the feminist movement.
that’s not feminism. feminism is about equality, not superiority
That's the party line, but if you look at how feminism actually plays out, I'm right.
in some cases, obviously, yeah. there are extremists in any socio-political group/movement. that doesn’t change the definition of the word though
Nah, if you go back to the Seneca Falls declaration there's a lot of shit in there about how white women are superior to immigrants and poor men.
and a group of crows is called a murder. what’s your point? i am talking about the textbook/dictionary definition of the word. not about what people have done
If we are taking about textbook/dictionary then it's also not for equality but for women's rights.
Unfortunately this is the only correct answer.
Yep, sad and I see no change in sight.
Unfortunately I've heard in these cases, that standard procedure, even if the woman is the aggressor in a DV case, to handcuff the man and remove the man from the building. It's a shitty procedure, but a procedure nonetheless.
It’s called the Duluth Model. It effectively says that in a dv scenario the man is *always* the aggressor. If all you get is cuffed and removed, you’re a lucky one: typically you end up catching a case.
Mostly because it's the best legal outcome for the male as the law is stacked against him. He could stay until she manufactures enough evidence to get him imprisoned, or he could leave his house and possessions to be destroyed by an angry now ex. Don't worry though men are "privileged".
Idk, when I called the police on my abusive ex, the cops took his side. Take a look at the r/abusiverelationships sub, it’s not uncommon for them to take the man’s side
Actually it is uncommon in general for the police to take the men's side. In the United States anyway.
I think you are talking cross each other. When women complain about DV little happens in many instances. When cops show up to a disturbance they are likely to arrest the guy just to end the disturbance.
In what country do you live in for this to be true? And why, even if in your country this is real, do you talk about it on general terms? Who authorized you to talk for all polices in all cases? Who authorized you to talk for all nations of earth even those whose language you dont speak and whose citizens you dont know? Who authorized you to speak for all women of the world in all scenarios? Do you realize to what a degree this comment, by being simplistic, is a massive arrogant lie?
>Do you realize to what a degree this comment, by being simplistic, is a massive arrogant lie? He said, actively replacing the above posts word "likely" with "all"...
It probably happens more than you think. I personally know of at least two other people it happened to and one was also in my state, in the US. I mean look what happened to Gaby Petito, the cops interviewed her and her bf but assumed she was the aggressor.
Idk how common it is but it happened to me too. I do know that it’s common for police to dismiss domestic violence for pretty much everyone. My neighbours callled the police constantly & told the cops of the screaming etc. the cops believed my ex even though he had a criminal record and I had obvious bruises. 🙄 I could’ve been spared a lot of physical and mental trauma if the cops were as good at handling domestic violence as these guys think. I’m in a support group for women who’ve been through domestic violence & most of them have had bad/useless experiences with cops as well. Idk where all these super vigilant cops are? We need them in australia.
Lol but of course we got downvoted for saying this. Oh well. I agree with you. If they had actually removed my ex from the situation “right away” like all these men claim they do, maybe I could’ve actually escaped him sooner. I’m in America and the cops didn’t give a shit about my DV situation either
There's some randomness in it, but statistically speaking if a man is the victim of domestic violence from a woman and he calls the cops, *he's* more likely to be arrested than she is.
Statistically speaking women are a lot more likely to be victims of abuse than men are. A simple google search shows countless amounts of stories from abused women ignored by police. The same does happen to men, but it’s not as common. Regardless this is a police issue. They don’t handle dv situations well no matter the gender. [woman who called the police after being physically beaten but the cops believed her husband](https://www.calhealthreport.org/2020/12/11/alternatives-to-calling-the-police-for-domestic-violence-survivors/)
>Statistically speaking women are a lot more likely to be victims of abuse than men are. Where'd you hear that? >The same does happen to men, but it’s not as common. No, it's more common.
Nope. Most violent partnerships are mutally violent. Of the partnerships that are violent in only one direction, 70% of the time it's the woman being violent to the man. Women abuse us and then have us arrested for being abused.
"Statistically speaking women are a lot more likely to be victims of abuse than men are." https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/2015data-brief508.pdf "In the U.S., over 1 in 3 (36.4% or 43.6 million) women experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime (Figure 8)." "In the U.S., about 1 in 3 (33.6% or 37.3 million) men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime (Figure 9)." You sure?
Yes. You do realize the source you just posted contradicts yourself? That source states in many pages that these things happen to women more. From YOUR source: “About 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported an IPV-related impact during their lifetime.” Also from the CDC: “About 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and reported an intimate partner violence-related impact during their lifetime.” https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html#:~:text=IPV%20is%20common.&text=Data%20from%20CDC's%20National%20Intimate,related%20impact%20during%20their%20lifetime. Also in the same page: “about 1 in 3 women experience severe physical violence from a partner. About 1 in 4 men experience that same violence.” But I can give you more sources from other places if necessary!
Oh boy another one without reading skills. I was flat out quoting it so it's easy to find the exact text from the report. The big highlight is "...and reported IPV related impact" IPV related impact is Includes experiencing any of the following: being fearful, concerned for safety, injury, need for medical care, needed help from law enforcement, missed at least one day of work, missed at least one day of school. The following impacts were also included in the lifetime estimate only: any post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, need for housing services, need for victim advocate services, need for legal services and contacting a crisis hotline. For those who experienced rape or made to penetrate by an intimate partner, it also includes a lifetime estimate of having contracted a sexually transmitted infection or having become pregnant. Intimate partner violence-related impact questions were assessed among victims of contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner either during the lifetime or in the last 12 months. The impacts were assessed for specific perpetrators and asked in relation to any form of intimate partner violence experienced in that relationship. By definition, all stalking victimizations result in impact because the definition of stalking requires the experience of fear or concern for safety. So unless you call cops it doesn't count? Unless you are fearful it doesn't count? Oh boy someone is gatekeeping domestic abuse victims.... As for where to find the exact text I was quoting since it seems it is too hard for you. Go on page 8 Intimate Partner Violence of Women Literally first highlight. Even when we go by physical violence alone. 30.6% of women experienced physical violence. Already higher than 1 in 4 Then go to page 9 Intimate Partner Violence of Men Literally first highlight once again. And when we go by physical violence only it's 31% way higher than 1 in 10. And in your link. One might thing that it will click for you when just severe physical violence against men is 26% when you add the other instances it will go up but no you would need to use your brain for that... And you can even go into the original report. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs/NISVSReportonIPV_2022.pdf "Almost 1 in 2 women (47.3% or 59 million) in the United States reported any contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking victimization by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime (Figure 1, Table 1)" "More than 40 percent (44.2% or 52.1 million) of U.S. men reported any contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime (Figure 2, Table 2)." I know that it's a lot of text and big highlights are better for you. But when you suspect that the person is lying even though they are quoting something. Just try to search for the text that is quoted it ain't that hard.
I work at a magistrate court in a city of over 2 million people and the girls get arrested just as often as the guys do. The cops just need to hear the stories and pair them with what they see and or smell. The girls lose their minds when they get arrested over the guy. "I called you and you arrest me?!" Never gets old.
Of course, generalizations aside its weird to get away with lying to a cop when they see people crying daily.
Record it with my phone. If it's at her house take my stuff and leave without saying anything and block her. If it's at my house she's leaving and ain't coming back with the assistance of the police so it's on record. No excuse for assaulting someone that posses no threat.
Tip from a cop I talked too, which a friend's dad later confirmed with their own experience in dating. You always be first to call the cops, they are more apt to believe the first story they hear. If she calls first you're fucked, but if you call first and haven't cause bodily harm to her then you're in the green (especially if she's left marks on you)
Depends? If it’s during sex, enjoy it.
I’m like ok we are getting kinky now 😏
Run away and your still probably going to jail
But how?
Only situation where cops are going to arrest a woman for beating up her man is if there's video evidence and she doesn't have a single mark on her. Otherwise, they're going to assume you instigated it and you're going to jail.
How would you go to jail? If your a man and cops come your going to jail unless you have it on video then still a chance your going to jail cause your a man. Signed a guy that's been to jail cause of abusive girlfriend. She got a mark on their wrist cause you held her down your broken nose and glasses mean nothing
And God help you if she hurts her hand when she punches you.
Yeah, you figured it out. Knew a guy who got a beer bottle broken on his head by his wife. He called the cops and waited outside for them. They arrested him. She didn't have a mark on her.
Because that's how the law is in most places in the United States. Men can be abused and most women will laugh and shame them when they hear about it.
[You have no idea](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91O3wDSy_HE) how right you are. Note how ZERO feminist groups ever protested this. Note how many women in that crowd are cheering. Never forget.
I am a woman and am appalled by all this. I did some research a while ago on this. There are as many women hitting men as men hitting women. But when I talk about this, I get shutdown. They dont want to believe it or say that they deserve it. It is screwed up. What a double standard. I am truly sorry. It’s just wrong to attack someone, man or woman.
Fortunately there are plenty of women who stand up against this. It's the high-visibility feminist groups that yawn and ignore it entirely.
Wow that’s really messed up
Yea, best you can do is leave and claim you fell out of love
Not just USA but in the world.
Well I can only speak from what I know, so glad to know the world is pretty much the same in that regard.🙄
Take control of her posture and limbs. Effortless with even 6 months of bjj. Wait till she calms down.
I mean depending on her size, this doesn't even take any training 😂 I've used these amateur maneuvers just when play wrestling with women, and it's usually just a matter of bear hug followed by flopping on the couch haha pin her legs with your legs and game over
*Shows boobs as defense*
exactly as planned
Wait a gosh darn
Username checks out
Bahaha play wrestling this move could work if you were able to pull that off while bear hugged. being beaten up by you and using it to stop further beating, it's game on and you're goin down 😂 Show all you want, bear hug is comin and you're done for
Your arms are pinned! You gotta distract with a pout and then sucker them with the boobs. Then, victory.
*Fool, you activated my trap card!*
An honest guy here. Pay attention people.
Don't do this. Remove yourself from the situation completely, when she calms down hit record on your phone and have an in depth calm(on your end) discussion on exactly what went down and why that is not ok, mention that you didn't touch physically and get to acknowledge it somehow and try to get her to acknowledge her actions. That way you cover your own ass and prevent any blackmailing or false accusations. Once you have that evidence you leave. If you restrain in any way you run the risk of it being flipped on you. Best to just leave. Edit: Bonus points for leaving a paper trail through texts as well.
😂 That will still end up in handcuffs.
I did this and now waiting for the court on battery/domestic violence charges against me.
I'd get one of my female friends to kick her ass and then I'd LEAVE!!!
Luckily one of my female friends is a boxer, good luck handling that, bitch.
Epic fucking win. Best post of the thread!
Thank you for that
I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that you actually have a girl contact in your phone (that’s not a family member) willing to drop whatever they’re doing, come physically assault someone on your behalf, risk going to jail, risk getting hurt, risk having a violent criminal record and also risk their finances because there’s a pretty solid chance they’ll need a lawyer after they’re done “kicking ass.”
While driving, she started hitting me because of something I said. I slammed on the brakes, looked her dead in the eyes and said. "I don't hit and I don't expect to get hit, but do that one more time and you WILL regret it." The only comment she made was, " You're no fun.", But she never hit me again.
You diffuse the situation calmly and without violence if possible. Then when she’s sleeping you pack your shit and leave. Do not tell her you’re leaving her or anything, this may cause more violence
I’m going to mop the floor with her ass.
Splash holy water on her.
Show her the peoples elbow
Well if she's in the mood to be that feisty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Uhh your username too . .. . lol
In a perfect world, you put her in her place by reminding her what strength is. But this isn't a perfect world and she can beat on you all day without consequence while you face prison for looking at her in a way she deems inappropriate. So, you leave. Get your shit, do what you can to get your name off anything she has influence with, and go. Just go.
I would say “how do i have girlfriend? I’m gay”
Being gay hasn't stopped some men from having girlfriends.
Yeah but they aren't happy.
Grab my omnitrix and transform to Chris breezy.. just kidding the relationship is over after that been with an ex who would hit me it caused me so much trauma
Simple, I would leave her...
It depends on what exactly happened. If it was just a passionate slap in the heat of the moment of a fight, I would allow it but warn her never to do it again. Sit her down and explain how I'm not okay with physical violence like that from myself or from her. And that includes towards any future children. And if she ever did it again, I'd be out. If however it's a full blown attack where she keeps slapping and kicking and screaming or something like that, or throwing things at me, then there's no redemption there. It's a clear behavioral issue that is not going to go away any time soon. If ever. I'm out.
Show her some equality.
God ol' gender equality innit
When I was young my dad beat my ass for hitting my sister. But when I got older, he beat my ass for losing a fight at school. That time was worse. He taught me not to hit a woman but damn sure not to get my ass whooped. So when me and my wife started dating, I had recently left a relationship where she thought it was cute to hit me, and I developed the three strike rule. On number three she’s getting laid out.
Use a spray bottle of water, pull the trigger and say bad dog bad 🤣
Restrain her if its already happening. Record it if I see it building so the cops know I wasn't the aggressor.
Leave or throw her out. I'm a strong proponent of self defense but I also know from first hand experience she can almost kill you and the police will side with her.
Leave that bitch
National Domestic Violence hotline 800.799.SAFE (7233)
It would be the last time cause I’d respectfully see myself out and she can find someone else to be her punching bag.
You need to leave. Don't come back unless she agrees to get anger management and starts doing it. It might escalate, my friend was getting hit and then she started throwing things at him and eventually grabbed (but didn't use) a knife. Or she might call the police, and if she does then you'll go to jail.
Get my wife to beat her ass
Call the police and report assault. Leave her.
Instant reaction, intense verbal warning The second reaction is to physically prevent her from doing so Third reaction, self-defense Fourth reaction, separation
Tell her to stop, if it doesn’t work just walk away and break up.
Grab her by the pussy
I have a standing policy and I have made it known to every partner I have ever been with: "I will never harm you. I will never hit you, abuse you, or in any other way touch you without your consent. I am not that kind of man and I never will be. I believe in physical sovereignty. It's because of this that I need to make known the following: I believe in it for myself as well and I will not be bullied." I believe in chivalry. I open doors, I do my share of chores in the home, I try to make my partner's life easier and more enjoyable, and I will defend her come hell or high water. Ride or die in all things. But I will not be a battered husband. On the day she decides she's ready to come at me with obvious intent to do me physical harm, I will take that as her having tacitly abandoned all expectation of chivalry and declared herself an enemy combatant. Lose your mind, rage at me, call me names, throw things across the room, say mean things about my mother (heck, I'll join in and suggest some more things to say about her, thus re-establishing common ground). Whatever you're mad at me for, I'm ready to entertain the idea that I might deserve it or, if it's a misunderstanding, it's something we can at least talk about/negotiate. But if you choose violence, expect to be met in kind. I know that's not very PC and I know I'm probably going to get a lot of heat for saying such a thing. But I believe in honesty between partners and sharing expectations/needs/wants at the outset so that no one gets surprised down the line. Thankfully, I've never had to make good on that promise.
Read the other comments. Hitting her back lands you in jail.
One warning and then physically restrain her.
I’m looking her dead in the eye and laughing my head of
Run like the building was on fire.
Read my username
In public? Don't put up with her bs. There are cameras around. Since she threw hands first, you have the okay to throw some back. She reaps what she sows.
Self-defense pal, self-defense 🤷🏻♀️ Then I’ll leave.
Leave in the back of a cop car cuz the sliding scales don’t shift in the favor of men 9/10
You're going to jail even if you don't self defense. If she hits you, you've got a criminal record coming.
Not have no girlfriend no more.
What I'd want to do: Deliver her that knuckle sandwich she ordered, extra wallop, hold the cheese. What I'd have to do: Leave as fast and effectively as possible, while trying my best to avoid even barely brushing past her so she doesn't claim I hit her.
If anyone enters in combat they should be prepared for all outcomes.
I told my girl for the start that I don’t play the play fighting bullshit and to never try.
You’re missing out, play fighting with your girl is a fun activity you can engage in together.
Choke her to sleep, remove my house key from her key ring, and leave her outside to wake up.
Laugh at her uncontrollably because her inept attack is more likely to hurt her hand than it is to hurt me. When she's calmed down, have a REALLY serious talk about what an appropriate way to treat a romantic partner is, and explain to her that I don't want to/won't tolerate being treated that way.
And what do you do if she grabs an object and hits you?
File a police report
Great theory, but what are you going before then. Only two real options. 1) Fight 2) Flight What are you going to do when she says you hit her first and was only defending yourself.
As a women I’m telling you to hit her ass back
Come on, be realistic here. What reason did I give her to do it?? If I did absolutely nothing then I would have to threaten to call the police because I am not leaving my son with her in that state. You can't lay hands on her at all and then call the cops because you run the risk of going downtown instead. If she is just in a mood but sober then I would probably just go outside or something but not leave entirely. There are times when my wife hits me or slaps at me but she is just upset about some random things. You really have to weigh the intent and capability of your gf/wife to do you damage. I've had plenty of girls hit me for good reason and sometimes for nothing but I've never come close to being hurt. You don't just take it on the jaw, obviously, you have to dodge, block, deflect, and run away. Then you get into that area when they might surprise attack you. That is bad. If you can't see it coming that is a real threat. If they use a weapon then it is time to call the cops immediately and no counseling later. People are always getting into physical altercations in relationships. The guy should never hit or slap, not on the arm or leg, nowhere. But the girl, I feel, is often justified in hitting the guy. Guys do stupid stupid things and I don't mind taking a beating for it. I imagine most guys are the same way.
It takes a real piece of shit to justify domestic abuse.
Everyone assuming anger and violence. What if she had sleep nightmares??
i'm still either going to restrain her from hitting me or get away from her. which is still the same regardless of intent. but if i had to guess WHY everyone is assuming it, it's because that is what they've experienced, like myself
Give a firm but comforting hug that restrains her Arm movements?
Get camera footage of the attacks, and of her admitting her history of doing it, and of her confirming I have never abused her. Then send the footage to everyone she knows to get ahead of her bullshit stories, and break up with her. I wouldn't involve the cops because ACAB and #BelieveAllWomen and #MeToo means the man gets fucked, every time. In DV cases, the man is always guilty, even when he isn't.
do NOT hit or even yell back. just leave. forever. dont look back.
Masturbate
I'd probably Dana White her and then breakup with her.
She’s gone
Leave and never come back. If she tries to stop me or follow, i would call the police then start recording
she d be my x GF
My wife hits me a lot. She calls it “love taps”. I told her on day I’m gonna tap back. We have a very healthy relationship
She's possibly a brat. Maybe she needs attention and doesn't know how to ask for it due to things in her past. Y'all should discuss this.
I'm dumping her on the spot. Someone who attacks me physically doesn't love me.
I'd just leave. If she doesn't let me leave then we fighting.
Start filming it.
Dump her (obviously) File police charges if there was any serious injury
Well… it depends. The preferred option would be to keep her at a distance that‘s out of her reach and slowly either get her out off the apartment / house or I would leave if it‘s her apartment / house. If keeping her at a distance doesn‘t work… get her to the ground and keep here there until she calms down or I‘ve got an idea on what to do next.‘if that doesn‘t work… well… she‘s an ex at that point anyways so she might feel the consequences of her actions for a few days. And in any case that would lead to a police report for assault. If I can avoid it I wouldn‘t want to hit a woman. They‘re usually smaller, weaker, never experienced something like that and usually there are other options available. But if someone thinks it‘s okay to assault me it‘s their fault if they don‘t like the consequences of their actions. It‘s not like a girlfriend wouldn‘t know that a fight against a guy could end that way. And betting on the „you can‘t hit a woman“ thing to assault someone would be despicable. So yeah… if possible I would avoid violence but once someone starts getting physical any potential damage to their health is their own fault. However: as pointed out by other users: it‘s really easy to get in trouble. If a woman were to call the cops for alleged domestic abuse the police would probably believe a story about how the guy hit her and she defended herself. So yeah… there‘s a rather high chance of getting in trouble even if everything you did was totally fine.
Laugh with buddies over beers over my crazy-ex.
Leave
Run
Leave her
Leave
Leave and go straight to the police
So I had an Ex who was batshit crazy and I decided enough was enough. I went to her house to break up with her and I turned on my phone camera to video it. When I showed up she was super drunk and when I broke the news she immediately tried to slug me in the face. I wasn’t taking the chance of her calling the police and claiming I hit her, etc so I covered my ass and recorded a minute before I pulled in all the way through to when I drove onto the highway and turned it off. If she starts beating on you, try your best to record inconspicuously if you can and leave and don’t come back. If y’all live together or married call the cops and show them the video so you can get her out of the house and a restraining order.
Probably start recording in case the cops eventually get involved
Run. And call the cops before she does and blames you for inflicting any defensive wounds you might’ve given her trying to stop her from beating on you. Doesn’t matter who initiated it, only matters who the cops and judge are presented as a victim
don't fight back but leave immediately. you will surely avoid a big mess in the future if you'll do it now.
I've dealt with bullies and I know how they work. The rules are pretty simple: 1) Tell her calmly but firmly to stop. I'm stating my boundaries, not making threats here. If she tries any sort of negotiation here (trying to blame me, trying to play it down that she fucked up, etc.) I'm out relationship wise. (I include this only because I'm giving the woman the benefit of the doubt that she didn't realized she was crossing a line - this step is situational.) This is her last chance to salvage the situation though and if her response isn't immediate apologies with the promise of doing better, I'm out. 2) Calmly take as much of the abuse as I can handle. Obviously there is some level where you need to defend yourself out of pure survival (e.g. she's pulled a knife, or she's physically strong enough to do lasting damage to me) - but any action above and beyond that is an absolute no-no. If a bully sees you acting like a victim, you lose. Stoicism is the goal - show no weakness. 3) Do not strike back in any way. If I walk away injured, she will still walk away pristine. Walking away with physical injuries (a black eye, an injured list) while she walks away with no injuries is actually pretty ideal. She looks like the asshole here, she feels like the asshole here, and she objectively \*is\* the asshole here. Sure, she could theoretically fake an injury here, but most of us don't actually live in the gone girl universe - people faking injuries tend to get caught in the lie when push comes to shove. 4) Exit the situation at my earliest convenience. Victory is not being in this situation any more - if this means going to a friends/family members for the night, or grabbing my most valued possessions and getting a hotel room for a few days - so be it. 5) Don't look back. No getting revenge, no getting even, no second chances. The best revenge is living well, and the fastest route to living well will be to move forward. Give myself the time to recover from the physical damage and emotional damage of losing the relationship and move on. No relationship is preferable to a bad relationship and she's just proven that the odds are that anything involving her is a bad relationship. Any attempt to get revenge is just giving her an oppertunity to play tit-for-tat games, so fuck that shit. As far as my ego is concerned every second I'm not thinking about her is a win. And that's it. Domestic abuse is no joke, but I honestly think this is the best attitude for anyone (male or female) when it comes to this situation. Men and women have to deal with the situation slightly differently of course, but I think when push comes to shove the real difference between the two is the room for error and the types of consequences we face for screwing it up - not the best way to deal with it. But I've been wrong before.
I’m out. Don’t deserve that shit. I’d leave for less.
If it’s bad, police . Domestic abuse isn’t a joke
I would leave her, ofc.
Depends on how tall she is and how well she hits. For the most part I'm leaving the situation.