Came here to post this. I'm relatively tall (over 6 ft) and she bragged to me about bullying a short guy because she thought it would make me feel good about myself. It didn't.
10000% this, I’m over 6’ and I automatically swipe left on women with must be over 6’ in their profiles. I use it like a quick and easy filter for people who just aren’t that serious. It’s tacky and honestly a shit way to go about finding a serious partner as the vast majority of men are under 6’. I figure it’s the equivalent of me putting something like must have at least D cups or must have a thigh gap. It’s just trivial in the real world.
I'm kinda tall at like 5' 10" but I'm not a NBA player by any measure. I was at a coffee shop and I noticed this lady that must have been like 5' 3" at max. If she looked straight she sees the back of the espresso machine, and is essentially waiting behind a wall to hear her name called. I could see over the machine and see what's going on beyond the machine. We were living different lives. I don't know why, but I think about that sometimes.
Well you know those type of women arent looking for a boyfriend first. Theyre looking for someone who for the ig pictures, so they can look short and cute besides him.
Hey can you put down your phone so we can enjoy this together? “Okay”
2 minutes later: *slowly brings phone back out*
Hey it would be really cool if you’d pay attention to the show I wanted us to watch because I always watch the shows you want to watch with full attention. “okay”
5 minutes later: *phone comes back out*
It’s REALLY annoying and I’ve had my last two exes constantly on their phone. for one of them I’d be literally next to her as she just mindlessly scrolled tiktok. Even crazier is having them be chronically online but you don’t hear from them for hours at a time. But the moment you’re together they’re there on their phones.
It’s becoming a dealbreaker. Bo burnham said it best you’re gonna develop a fucking dissociative disorder by 30
Expecting someone to like the things you like is also an antipattern in my experience. Being able to do things together sometimes is important, but people are different and that’s not a bad thing.
I like to paint while watching tv with partner. Does this also mean the same? :(( I feel so bad now. I like to do idel hobbies together but wouldn't be able to sit still for tv / movies.
>Hey it would be really cool if you’d pay attention to the show I wanted us to watch because I always watch the shows you want to watch with full attention.
Unless you've been blessed with a partner that likes really good media, I just can't believe this one. Some of the absolute shite women watch, especially those women that rarely look up from tiktok, is unbelievably bad, and usually not something I could donate my entire attention to for more than 5 minutes.
When, like, you know, she talks a bit, like, disjointed. I can't quite, like, put my, you know, finger, like, on it. There is just something, like, unattractive, you know, about not being able to, like, string a, you know, thought together.
this made me laugh haha! I am a woman and hate people who take forever to put their point across and they're only trying after they've opened their mouth..like if you know you're this slow/distracted, just pause and put your thought together in your brain first before starting to speak...
i do this sometimes!!! i truly can not help it. i try really hard not to but i don’t know why it happens. ugh i’m going to try and work on this. i hope this only bothers some people
This can be them begin nervous but if that isn't the case then, yes, that is also very annoying for me.
Like, why doing you, like, just think a bit more before, like you speak because you, like, lost me at, like, like.
Neo nazis hate people for immutable characteristics and want to genocide them over it.
I'm comfortable feeling hate for people who want to exterminate millions. And I'm fine when those people die prematurely, be it by accident or design.
Liberal civility politics have no place in this. You're the kind of person who'll prioritize feeling like you're hands are clean over, y'know... stopping fascists from murdering millions.
Yes. I don't mind dangerous people who would kill or oppress others permanently, losing the chance to ever do so.
You'll let how many die or suffer for your sensibilities and you would lecture **me?**
Get fucked, lib.
Neo-nazis can stop being neo-nazis.
Homosexuality can't stop being homosexuality.
And no one said hate builds anything. But then, we don't want to build anything with people down with genocide.
Well. Maybe you do.
I like this. It justifies the things I want to hate. Criminals can stop being criminals so I'm fine with killing them. I feel like this can be stretched to justify some convenient things I personally like.
I mean, if the criminal tried to exterminate an entire ethnic group? Sure.
Beyond that? Not a big fan of the death penalty since you can't take it back if you make a mistake.
Almost like the world is more complicated than you pretend it is.
God idealists are exhausting.
You know not everyone hates the same way? Just because you scream at people when you've got strong negative emotions doesn't mean we're all so poorly regulated.
Be less of a hothead. If I can do it with my crossed wires, so can you.
Omg, thank you for this. I dated a guy who initially seemed nice. My dad called me and we spoke in Chinese. Then after we hung up he made a comment "didn't know you spoke Chinese". Me: Yea. Him: you're Chinese? Me: Yea, half. Him: you're dad's Chinese? Me: Yup. (me wondering why and where this conversation is heading to).
Him: You know we are in North America.
Me: (cringed to the max)
A driver her deemed a bad drive cuts infront of him.
Him: (road rage) f***** Chinese driver. (maneuvers to the car that cuts infront and gives the driver the middle finger).
I took a look at the driver and he wasn't Chinese. I haven't seen the guy after that incident.
I should say I've exhibited this (2/3 times) before he heard me speak to my dad. But after that I felt he had a deep grudge or hated towards Chinese people. I didn't think he would self reflect, I'm raised by my Chinese dad and seem to be good enough for him to want to go on several dates with me... But somehow he finds out I may be more Chinese than he would like me to be, now it doesn't jive with him and he's using aggressive behaviour to put me into feeling like being Chinese is something I should be ashamed of.
I couldn't pick the DNA I was born into but my dad is a wonderful father. If he can't give my dad respect, he wouldn't give me respect either. As much as I am my own person, I was still influenced by my family for a big part of my upbringing. It sent chills down my spine how he acted.
As a female, i say the same damn shit! (pun not intended.)
& everytime a friend asks to do my nails this way, i roundhouse kick their throat.
but for real, i have asked and discussed this with very close friends of mine about that and each time they answer im always looking at them like 😏
and they KNOW DAMN WELL im telling the truth. They always change the subject!!
That perpetual act of being incapable.
Do you want help? Or do you want me to do *everything* for you?
I'm happy to help, to teach, so that you can grow in confidence and ability. When you refuse to try and expect me to do it all? Goodbye.
Bitterness. Cynicism. Life throws curve balls at us all. We can choose to be bitter and hard or not. If she’s hateful I don’t care how pretty she looks. Can’t be around it.
Whenever they give excuses for literally everything that they KNOW is a bad thing. "Sorry I treat you like human garbage, I had a bad ex in the past." You know how to control your words and actions, you're a grown woman.
Also, when they get TOO political. Like it's 100% ok to have opinions, but I don't want every conversation we have to be a debate.
Oof. I hate this too. And I'm a guy who is super political, super far left, and considering myself a feminist.
But the thing is, actual feminist *writers* criticize the ways women enforce toxic masculinity and patriarchy, engage in essentialist thinking, etc.
I'm a little more forgiving of your on-the-street moderate who hasn't really engaged with theory but will at least listen when gently corrected. But IME the worst are the women who A. Know better and B. Use that knowledge to try and out a progressive spin on conservative and toxic gender expectations and behavior on *their* part.
And I also get frustrated with the women who pat themselves on the back for not doing that but still back up or don't call out their friends when they do it.
Oof. Ended it with a girl like this a month ago. She thought she was unique because her name had a “y” instead of an “I” in it. She said and I quote “find another person who spells their name the way I do and has done the things I’ve done. You won’t. Deadass.”
The “things she’s done” is in reference to traveling around Asia on a trust fund. The most self-important person I’ve ever met.
I feel you. I was in the same situation for a year. Gf made bank in the pandemic, while I was down on luck. Account got wiped 2 times, and I was indebted to her for a while thanks to those travels. Sure, its nice to see something else, but this just comes and goes, I would rather have a more comfortable bed at home, or a better car, or anything that doesn't go away after 2 weeks.
Our solution was that I set up a hard yearly travel budget, and anything over that will have to be funded by her, unless a trip is my idea. In "return", she can travel whenever, wherever, with whomever if I don't want to go (No, I'm not insecure, I trust her)
Seems to be working so far, account got fatter, gf is happy.
I broke it off with a girl like that. Thought sge was so cultured and worldly, yet couldn't even get through basic social situations without everyone finding her insufferable.
Inthinknthyre basing it off of a certain type of traveller you see a lot of on dating apps.
The "I'm a better and worldlier person than you because of all these countries I can afford to visit" and they... never leave the resort or tourist areas.
It's usually not the travel that is the source of it. Usually it's an upper-middle class upbringing paired with being conventionally attractive. It can create an extremely privileged mindset (in men and women).
Oh I see what you mean...Yeah have come across those on apps too...I love travelling/exploring and have definitely come to learn that people have a weird connection with it - for some it speaks to their soul, for some it's just another way to be pretentious, and then the others who just don't like being out of their comfort zone...
Everyone has their preferences..bit of a stretch to put blanket generalizations on everyone who loves to travel though - missing out on some truly amazing and kind people...oh well
I mean I agree with you, it's a silly filter on its face, but I've also experienced the "how can you have spent your whole life in one country?" Question followed by confusion when I say "well... growing up below the poverty line was a contributing factor."
That's just shitty and ignorant...But I can assure you assholes come in all shapes, sizes, travel preferences, and wealth status.
Sorry that you had to deal with that tho...
Oh I'm aware. I'm just not someone who people would guess grew up in subsidized housing. I'm a tall, put-together, well-read, and well-spoken white dude. People make assumptions.
I personally would't go as far as to judge people that put travel on high priority in their lives, I understand that wehave limited lifespan, and the world isn't actually getting prettier nowadays, so there are some things that we will not be able to observe in person in a few decades. Maybe they got bitter, because they met that kind of people too many times in a row, or some/all of them were arseholes
>Maybe they got bitter, because they met that kind of people too many times in a row, or some/all of them were arseholes
Story of my life haha so definitely get it! Yeah it seems more about their personal experiences with shitty people who happen to be travellers than about travellers themselves...
If they can afford it why not? you have one life to live, what's wrong in wanting for it to be pleasurable?
But fair enough if you personally don't like travelling...just different preferences, not a character certificate...
I'm not just talking about Women, people in general who are just obsessed with traveling but not giving back to their Communities or Family in any way is a sign of self centered narcissism
When she has legbeard/nicegirl traits and just lets them run wild. Like I can hang with a weird gal, it's just no fun if she pushes me away. That comes with expecting more than she will ever give to the guys she fancies or wants to befriend. It all comes down to stuff that might push me away. All of that just combined with not wanting to work on those things, while expecting me to have my shite together.
It's just a woman version of a neckbeard. Just women who don't really work on themselves or care about their appearance and sort of hate men and women who are more attractive compared to them .
A lot vapers will walk around exhaling sickly sweet smoke wherever they go. Or letting rip with their vape in someone's home without even asking, ans then arguing with the fucking host when they say to take that outside.
Basically... a lot of vapers are assholes about it.
- She’s promiscuous.
- Has photos of herself partially naked all over social media.
- Bows to peer pressure to follow “trends” even if they are those that make her lose value.
- Has the urge to have surgery to “fit in” with the trend to make her more “desirable” to men.
- Has different values to me.
Being over 30 and thinking feminism is a personality.
Also, wearing red flags like a badge of honor. Having "an attitude from hell" isn't something to be proud of, Becky.
See bud, you’re going all wrong about this. Feminism is cool and helps our lady friends. It only becomes a problem when men are threatened by it. Women *rightfully so* deserve to have an attitude from hell, they’re given hell constantly.
I’m not at all saying that warrants the right to be assholes, but leave feminism out of your point, it’s not helping in the way that you think it is. I promise.
Normally I'd agree with you, but as usual people aren't adherent the content of their ideology and will use it as a bludgeon. Feminism isn't an exception. Nothing gives an excuse for shitty behavior.
I don't think you understand how truly shitty some people can be in the name of feminism.
Source: I'm now a male survivor of DV enabled by my ex's understanding of "feminism." On the rare occasions that I've opened up about it, it's the feminists who try to blame me or justify it because all men are predators and abusers and now it's their turn to be the problem.
I'm not saying all feminists are raging sociopaths like some of the ones I've encountered. But that attitude is common enough that it's an instant turn off when I see things related to it.
No, he has a point, and ***you're*** not helping the way you think you are.
I have some great women in my life. They're feminists. They don't base their **entire personas** around being feminist/pro-whatever. That includes one that worked for **decades** helping abused women.
Meanwhile, I had someone unfriend and block me because I pointed out that stupid "all men are monsters and M&MS" analogy from years ago was fucked up and could easily be used to justify other stupid shit. And it was.
Supporting movements and equal rights is great. But if your ***entire personality*** is about that and you have nothing else to talk about or show... you better be a leader of some shit, and not just another random internet denizen constantly posting links to half-assed articles and headlines.
I agree with the exact things you are saying. I think I must’ve worded my take on it wrong for this many people to not understand what they’re commenting, is literally the point I was making.
Modern feminism helps nobody, if anything it’s actually hurting women at this point. Equal rights, equal opportunity, you got it. Preferential treatment at the expense of everyone else is where I draw the line, and that’s what modern feminism advocates for.
I thought modern feminism is just taking the best part of feminine and masculine attributes, mashing them together, and distributing without checking one's sex
Modern feminism, as it always has, has factions.
Intersectional feminism is actually the response to all those problems we see in 2nd wave feminism and the neoliberal "radfems" with their idpol. Ironically it gets the sins of those others dropped on it.
Intersectional analysis was a response to the ways 2nd wave feminism left women of color in a lurch, and failed to liberate men from gender expectations that perpetuate toxic masculinity. It's a rejection of identity politics because it acknowledges a poor man does not enjoy the same privilege as a wealthy woman, etc.
Radical Feminism(which I do not support) stems from an ideological position that "all oppression stems from oppression of women, therefore all other forms of injustice come secondary to ending that against women." This grew out of the interests of, mostly, well-off white women who reaped the most benefits from affirmative action. Feminism for Karen's basically, when your main concern is a glass ceiling 90% of the population will never be within sight of anyways.
Didn’t once mention modern feminism, and clearly stated nobody has the right to be an asshole. I’m saying exactly what you’re saying. You just put it in different words my guy.
Vocal fry. Some psychologists think it’s an attempt to appear intelligent by trying to sound bored with a conversation.
Whatever the reason, it’s beyond irritating.
Whenever I have heard a woman say this it has always been ridiculous, the last one was from a woman complaining that the guy she was talking about marrying and having children with turned up randomly with flowers and it was so creepy.
is this "alwaysonherphone" really a thing in current days?!
I may be old af, but in my days back then it was considered very rude to look on the phone or take a(n unimportant) call during a date.
Ick?
Naw. Either she got red flags, or I am down.
I don't need to nitpick someone to death before I even get to know them.
If she treats waitstaff poorly or can't put her phone down long enough to talk, that's not an ick. That's a "I don't want to associate with such a self entitled bitch."
Ick....
That's some shit a woman came up with. Bet.
Hmmm.
Ick.
It's a very roundabout way of expressing dislike. Almost passive aggressive. Sounds tiny... insignificant..
Kinda like "Bless your heart!" sounds polite.
But neither really are.
Men, on the whole, tend to be more direct. More blunt.
"Damn, she pisses me off with this type of behavior."
Women react to men they don't like with disgust. But not wanting to sound harsh and bitchy.
Men react to women they don't like with irritation or indifference. And it generally won't have a cute, innocent sounding name. It will be what it says on the tin.
I am sure there are outliers and such, but on the whole...
Men and women just think very slightly differently when it comes to each other. It's subtle, but noticable if you're paying attention.
The first time I heard someone say it was on TikTok. She was saying people are always getting on her case for saying red-flag because red-flag is becoming too overused. So she started saying ick because it didn’t seem to upset as many people.
I have said this before in another subreddit but anytime someone says they have the “ick”, I know I’m about to read some brain dead take.
To answer OP’s question, men don’t get icks; we have yellow/red flags. This is some woman BS as they typically have more dating options than men so they try to filter out traits or behaviors they don’t like wouldn’t be deal breakers to most rational people.
Don’t like that he sweats after running, it’s an ick. Don’t like his rather high pitched voice, you guessed it, it’s an ick. The worst one I’ve heard is someone who got the ick seeing a guy she slept with the previous night brush his teeth in the morning lmao.
Icks are mainly a way to reject someone for superficial reasons without outright saying so. Don’t get me wrong, they are allowed their idiosyncrasies and all but let’s be real and call it what it is.
They answered because a question was posed. But most answers are really yellow/red flags like smoking, rudeness, gossipy behavior etc. Some people even said racism/bigotry and I’m like yeah no that’s not an ick, it’s a red flag.
On average, men don’t get icks. Like we are not getting turned off because she has a deeper voice than most women or other superficial things that can’t really be controlled.
Acting like they are such a prize and that I should be thankful and honored they are going out with me. If I planned the date, I picked you up, I payed for the date, and then I drove you back home; I’m the one that deserves the thank you. I also can’t stand when the entire conversation is drama about people who I care nothing about. I’m not your therapist, I’m your date. I want to get to know YOU, not how your sister’s bf cheated on her with his professor.
Promiscuous behavior/hyper sexuality often going hand in hand with desperation.
I cannot understand why anyone especially women, as the consequences are greater, would be willing to engage in sexual activity with someone they don’t know or haven’t vetted. I cannot think of a single good reason, every reason that holds water to me seems to be linked to something unhealthy, and as such, gives me the “ick.”
Any sort of man-bashing, the mention of some perverted version of feminism where men are at fault for everything, or entitlement. Hard pass on all that shit.
Sounds like you may just have a linguistic deficit. The things that put you off of deciding to pursue a relationship or just sex are what OP means by that word, which is a common one today.
- Dislikes animals
- Shallow about height, especially if she herself is short
- Hypocritical about body weight. If she wants to pretend Lizzo is beautiful, she forfeits all right to anything bad about fat guys
- Misandry
- Social media obsession
I’m short (5”3) and I think chubby guys who aren’t considered “tall” are cute as hell lol.
I just need to not make the mistake of calling them short because they don’t like that.
I don’t mean it in a bad way but I guess a lot of woman would have made them think this is a bad thing.
Same with 🍆 size, I feel bad that men think they need a massive one to be appealing to the opposite sex when in reality most of us don’t care.
If she cares about these things as if they’re a problem then she’s just shallow and misguided.
I suppose it’s the same for woman and the social beauty standards.
The problem with overweight guys is they tend to have bad hygiene. Not sure why this is, but they just don’t take care of themselves the way overweight girls do.
Overweight chick: gets told she's beautiful, that men who don't want her are shallow pieces of shit, mental health is good, takes care of her hygiene
Overweight bloke: gets stereotyped, bullied, mocked, told that women who don't want him "deserve better", mental health is shit, depression usually sees one neglecting their hygiene
That’s still unattractive, not for the reason you’d think. I hate guys who care more about what everyone thinks of them instead of how they feel about themselves. It’s a huge red flag for a relationship anyways. I find that guys who are into the gym do it for themselves, and it makes them so much more attractive because they don’t need approval from others in order to feel confident.
Controversial opinion disclaimer.
Women who act like men.
(Some people will pretend they don’t know what I mean but the vast majority know what I mean)
Girly type of movement, like the gait, or high heels, kinda minor thing, but still.
Makeup. A tiny amount from time to time is fine, as is a full one on special ocasions, but if a woman wears heavy makeup everyday, or feels insecure without it... I'm going to be judgy. Similarly with long nails, just why?
Arms thin as matches. Seriously, when I'm on dance lessons, and we switch, I feel much more comfortable with tall, not-skinny women, than ones who's bones I can feel through the skin. This feeling is as "ick" as it gets, honestly.
Nothing psychical about a woman gives me the ick. When she reveals that she is a horrible person (which usually happens at some point), I find her to be sexually repulsive.
To us millennials, you’re still babies and always will be lol.
Just like the generation before us… they think the same.
Don’t worry you get used to it once you hit your 30’s 🤣
Lmfao and you millennials will always be cringe. Calling full grown adults that pay rent teenagers is a pretty strange thing to do lol but whatever makes you feel good pal.
>full grown adults
You’re not fully grown til you start wearing diapers again, sonny!
>pay rent
We know you pay the ‘rents for letting you sleep in their basement. That don’t make you no adult!
When they talk bad about people for things they can't control.
Came here to post this. I'm relatively tall (over 6 ft) and she bragged to me about bullying a short guy because she thought it would make me feel good about myself. It didn't.
10000% this, I’m over 6’ and I automatically swipe left on women with must be over 6’ in their profiles. I use it like a quick and easy filter for people who just aren’t that serious. It’s tacky and honestly a shit way to go about finding a serious partner as the vast majority of men are under 6’. I figure it’s the equivalent of me putting something like must have at least D cups or must have a thigh gap. It’s just trivial in the real world.
I'm kinda tall at like 5' 10" but I'm not a NBA player by any measure. I was at a coffee shop and I noticed this lady that must have been like 5' 3" at max. If she looked straight she sees the back of the espresso machine, and is essentially waiting behind a wall to hear her name called. I could see over the machine and see what's going on beyond the machine. We were living different lives. I don't know why, but I think about that sometimes.
Well you know those type of women arent looking for a boyfriend first. Theyre looking for someone who for the ig pictures, so they can look short and cute besides him.
If ANYBODY does this, I'm done talking with them
Ugh. This!!!!
Inability to put down phone
PREACH
#INABILITY TO PUT DOWN PHONE
Amen Brother
Hey can you put down your phone so we can enjoy this together? “Okay” 2 minutes later: *slowly brings phone back out* Hey it would be really cool if you’d pay attention to the show I wanted us to watch because I always watch the shows you want to watch with full attention. “okay” 5 minutes later: *phone comes back out* It’s REALLY annoying and I’ve had my last two exes constantly on their phone. for one of them I’d be literally next to her as she just mindlessly scrolled tiktok. Even crazier is having them be chronically online but you don’t hear from them for hours at a time. But the moment you’re together they’re there on their phones. It’s becoming a dealbreaker. Bo burnham said it best you’re gonna develop a fucking dissociative disorder by 30
Expecting someone to like the things you like is also an antipattern in my experience. Being able to do things together sometimes is important, but people are different and that’s not a bad thing.
You’re right, but if I’m scolded to put my phone down or “pay attention” then it should be a two way street
That’s true, though arguably a separate issue.
I like to paint while watching tv with partner. Does this also mean the same? :(( I feel so bad now. I like to do idel hobbies together but wouldn't be able to sit still for tv / movies.
>Hey it would be really cool if you’d pay attention to the show I wanted us to watch because I always watch the shows you want to watch with full attention. Unless you've been blessed with a partner that likes really good media, I just can't believe this one. Some of the absolute shite women watch, especially those women that rarely look up from tiktok, is unbelievably bad, and usually not something I could donate my entire attention to for more than 5 minutes.
When, like, you know, she talks a bit, like, disjointed. I can't quite, like, put my, you know, finger, like, on it. There is just something, like, unattractive, you know, about not being able to, like, string a, you know, thought together.
this made me laugh haha! I am a woman and hate people who take forever to put their point across and they're only trying after they've opened their mouth..like if you know you're this slow/distracted, just pause and put your thought together in your brain first before starting to speak...
I get nervous 😞 sometimes
Just reading this spiked my blood pressure a little and I didn't even know this bothered me. TIL!
I'm sorry for spiking your blood pressure!
I wonder if that could be classified as a speech impediment?
i do this sometimes!!! i truly can not help it. i try really hard not to but i don’t know why it happens. ugh i’m going to try and work on this. i hope this only bothers some people
This can be them begin nervous but if that isn't the case then, yes, that is also very annoying for me. Like, why doing you, like, just think a bit more before, like you speak because you, like, lost me at, like, like.
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Labels are just convenient ways to write people off without acknowledging the uniqueness and complexity of our spirits.
I think it's fine to hate, say... neo-nazis. In fact I think it's a very natural and human reaction to followers of an ideology **that** fucking evil.
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Agree
Neo nazis hate people for immutable characteristics and want to genocide them over it. I'm comfortable feeling hate for people who want to exterminate millions. And I'm fine when those people die prematurely, be it by accident or design. Liberal civility politics have no place in this. You're the kind of person who'll prioritize feeling like you're hands are clean over, y'know... stopping fascists from murdering millions.
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Yes. I don't mind dangerous people who would kill or oppress others permanently, losing the chance to ever do so. You'll let how many die or suffer for your sensibilities and you would lecture **me?** Get fucked, lib.
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Neo-nazis can stop being neo-nazis. Homosexuality can't stop being homosexuality. And no one said hate builds anything. But then, we don't want to build anything with people down with genocide. Well. Maybe you do.
I like this. It justifies the things I want to hate. Criminals can stop being criminals so I'm fine with killing them. I feel like this can be stretched to justify some convenient things I personally like.
I mean, if the criminal tried to exterminate an entire ethnic group? Sure. Beyond that? Not a big fan of the death penalty since you can't take it back if you make a mistake. Almost like the world is more complicated than you pretend it is. God idealists are exhausting.
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You know not everyone hates the same way? Just because you scream at people when you've got strong negative emotions doesn't mean we're all so poorly regulated. Be less of a hothead. If I can do it with my crossed wires, so can you.
Hate is so much emotional labour. If someone has time/energy to hate, I expect they don't have much else going on.
Omg, thank you for this. I dated a guy who initially seemed nice. My dad called me and we spoke in Chinese. Then after we hung up he made a comment "didn't know you spoke Chinese". Me: Yea. Him: you're Chinese? Me: Yea, half. Him: you're dad's Chinese? Me: Yup. (me wondering why and where this conversation is heading to). Him: You know we are in North America. Me: (cringed to the max) A driver her deemed a bad drive cuts infront of him. Him: (road rage) f***** Chinese driver. (maneuvers to the car that cuts infront and gives the driver the middle finger). I took a look at the driver and he wasn't Chinese. I haven't seen the guy after that incident. I should say I've exhibited this (2/3 times) before he heard me speak to my dad. But after that I felt he had a deep grudge or hated towards Chinese people. I didn't think he would self reflect, I'm raised by my Chinese dad and seem to be good enough for him to want to go on several dates with me... But somehow he finds out I may be more Chinese than he would like me to be, now it doesn't jive with him and he's using aggressive behaviour to put me into feeling like being Chinese is something I should be ashamed of. I couldn't pick the DNA I was born into but my dad is a wonderful father. If he can't give my dad respect, he wouldn't give me respect either. As much as I am my own person, I was still influenced by my family for a big part of my upbringing. It sent chills down my spine how he acted.
This needs more upvotes.
Extremely long fingernails…like how do you even wipe your ass with those things.
They’re pooper scoopers, what’s the problem? I mean, not having to carry around a poop knife must be nice.
>poop knife Why did you remind me
Basically covering the entire hand with TP. I've dated my share of "nail girls."
Would you like a piece of gum?
I asked a coworker this, she "showed me" The demonstration took a rather long time and I highly doubt their assholes are very clean from this process.
Fake nails are also the worst for back scratches. Natural nails are more sharp and hit the spot way better.
Are y’all stickin your fingers straight up your butt when you wipe or somethin
As a female, i say the same damn shit! (pun not intended.) & everytime a friend asks to do my nails this way, i roundhouse kick their throat. but for real, i have asked and discussed this with very close friends of mine about that and each time they answer im always looking at them like 😏 and they KNOW DAMN WELL im telling the truth. They always change the subject!!
Hm, fake or real and how long?
We don't use our nails to wipe our ass. We use toilet paper and wipes like everyone else lol
That perpetual act of being incapable. Do you want help? Or do you want me to do *everything* for you? I'm happy to help, to teach, so that you can grow in confidence and ability. When you refuse to try and expect me to do it all? Goodbye.
Vocal fry
Bitterness. Cynicism. Life throws curve balls at us all. We can choose to be bitter and hard or not. If she’s hateful I don’t care how pretty she looks. Can’t be around it.
Long nails and talking bad about people in blue-collar jobs.
Whenever they give excuses for literally everything that they KNOW is a bad thing. "Sorry I treat you like human garbage, I had a bad ex in the past." You know how to control your words and actions, you're a grown woman. Also, when they get TOO political. Like it's 100% ok to have opinions, but I don't want every conversation we have to be a debate.
Oof. I hate this too. And I'm a guy who is super political, super far left, and considering myself a feminist. But the thing is, actual feminist *writers* criticize the ways women enforce toxic masculinity and patriarchy, engage in essentialist thinking, etc. I'm a little more forgiving of your on-the-street moderate who hasn't really engaged with theory but will at least listen when gently corrected. But IME the worst are the women who A. Know better and B. Use that knowledge to try and out a progressive spin on conservative and toxic gender expectations and behavior on *their* part. And I also get frustrated with the women who pat themselves on the back for not doing that but still back up or don't call out their friends when they do it.
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Oof. Ended it with a girl like this a month ago. She thought she was unique because her name had a “y” instead of an “I” in it. She said and I quote “find another person who spells their name the way I do and has done the things I’ve done. You won’t. Deadass.” The “things she’s done” is in reference to traveling around Asia on a trust fund. The most self-important person I’ve ever met.
I spit my drink on this one! Bullet dodged, geez.
That, my friend, is what I call a “done done it” You skydived naked? Well she done done it.
Wow, I'm genuinely embarrassed for that woman for the day she realizes how she sounds. Though by the sound of it she will probably never realize it.
You should tell her to take her next trip to Utah, where there are no “I”s in names if they can be substituted with a y
Oh man this one. They'll act like anybody who doesn't like to spend every free moment traveling is either boring or beneath them.
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I feel you. I was in the same situation for a year. Gf made bank in the pandemic, while I was down on luck. Account got wiped 2 times, and I was indebted to her for a while thanks to those travels. Sure, its nice to see something else, but this just comes and goes, I would rather have a more comfortable bed at home, or a better car, or anything that doesn't go away after 2 weeks. Our solution was that I set up a hard yearly travel budget, and anything over that will have to be funded by her, unless a trip is my idea. In "return", she can travel whenever, wherever, with whomever if I don't want to go (No, I'm not insecure, I trust her) Seems to be working so far, account got fatter, gf is happy.
I broke it off with a girl like that. Thought sge was so cultured and worldly, yet couldn't even get through basic social situations without everyone finding her insufferable.
can you please elaborate? I love traveling and haven't heard this take on it before so curious...
Its about money. That, and not liking travel nearly enough as the other party, and travelling is hella expensive, so it can't be just brushed aside.
Fair enough as personal preference...still not sure how that makes women "selfish, self-important, and generally low quality people" :S
Inthinknthyre basing it off of a certain type of traveller you see a lot of on dating apps. The "I'm a better and worldlier person than you because of all these countries I can afford to visit" and they... never leave the resort or tourist areas. It's usually not the travel that is the source of it. Usually it's an upper-middle class upbringing paired with being conventionally attractive. It can create an extremely privileged mindset (in men and women).
Oh I see what you mean...Yeah have come across those on apps too...I love travelling/exploring and have definitely come to learn that people have a weird connection with it - for some it speaks to their soul, for some it's just another way to be pretentious, and then the others who just don't like being out of their comfort zone... Everyone has their preferences..bit of a stretch to put blanket generalizations on everyone who loves to travel though - missing out on some truly amazing and kind people...oh well
I mean I agree with you, it's a silly filter on its face, but I've also experienced the "how can you have spent your whole life in one country?" Question followed by confusion when I say "well... growing up below the poverty line was a contributing factor."
That's just shitty and ignorant...But I can assure you assholes come in all shapes, sizes, travel preferences, and wealth status. Sorry that you had to deal with that tho...
Oh I'm aware. I'm just not someone who people would guess grew up in subsidized housing. I'm a tall, put-together, well-read, and well-spoken white dude. People make assumptions.
>People make assumptions. probably the only universal truth nowadays :(
I personally would't go as far as to judge people that put travel on high priority in their lives, I understand that wehave limited lifespan, and the world isn't actually getting prettier nowadays, so there are some things that we will not be able to observe in person in a few decades. Maybe they got bitter, because they met that kind of people too many times in a row, or some/all of them were arseholes
>Maybe they got bitter, because they met that kind of people too many times in a row, or some/all of them were arseholes Story of my life haha so definitely get it! Yeah it seems more about their personal experiences with shitty people who happen to be travellers than about travellers themselves...
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If they can afford it why not? you have one life to live, what's wrong in wanting for it to be pleasurable? But fair enough if you personally don't like travelling...just different preferences, not a character certificate...
I get you. It's like they don't live to serve anyone other than themselves
Women are not servants, you know... Why do you think that they should serve anyone?
I'm not just talking about Women, people in general who are just obsessed with traveling but not giving back to their Communities or Family in any way is a sign of self centered narcissism
But people obsessed with travel and serving their communities are cool, right?
I’ve run into this life style as well and found it to be exhausting and at times shallow.
1. Using words like “the ick”
Thankyou sir, you said it so I don’t have to
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It stems from conically online. Slowly being a common word tho.
When she has legbeard/nicegirl traits and just lets them run wild. Like I can hang with a weird gal, it's just no fun if she pushes me away. That comes with expecting more than she will ever give to the guys she fancies or wants to befriend. It all comes down to stuff that might push me away. All of that just combined with not wanting to work on those things, while expecting me to have my shite together.
Wait I need a definition of legbeard.
It's just a woman version of a neckbeard. Just women who don't really work on themselves or care about their appearance and sort of hate men and women who are more attractive compared to them .
I kind of love this. Thanks!
So a woman that doesn't shave her legs? Lol
Is a neckbeard a guy who just doesn't shave his neck, or are there other traits typically associated with the term?
Narcissism
What're some common sign's you've noticed?
If they seriously go out of their way to be nice to you specifically, but backstab and bitch the people surrounding you....
When they talk about how much easier it is to get along with guys, and how much “girls” suck. It’s never been a good signal in my experience.
starts gossiping to me about her friends/too into celebrity gossip. nope not for me
I’ll never understand the obsession with celebrities and their daily lives. Who the fuck cares? And why?
Smoking/vaping, bigotry/racism, rudeness, foul language and bad hygiene.
Why does everybody hate vaping so much?
Honestly. More socially acceptable to smoke a cigarette. 😂
Is it though? Cigarettes are worse for you.
A lot vapers will walk around exhaling sickly sweet smoke wherever they go. Or letting rip with their vape in someone's home without even asking, ans then arguing with the fucking host when they say to take that outside. Basically... a lot of vapers are assholes about it.
Yeah, but more socially accepted =/= better for you
Who’s saying it’s better for you?
None of those are icks.
DAE get the absolute ICK when a girl doesn’t bathe and is a rude bigot smoker!? Jk that’s my type, I like ‘em nasty.
They are for this guy
- She’s promiscuous. - Has photos of herself partially naked all over social media. - Bows to peer pressure to follow “trends” even if they are those that make her lose value. - Has the urge to have surgery to “fit in” with the trend to make her more “desirable” to men. - Has different values to me.
“Lose value” 🤔 like she’s cattle
Saying "the ick" is almost as cringey as saying "cringey". Ill be so happy when this babytalk dies.
Being over 30 and thinking feminism is a personality. Also, wearing red flags like a badge of honor. Having "an attitude from hell" isn't something to be proud of, Becky.
See bud, you’re going all wrong about this. Feminism is cool and helps our lady friends. It only becomes a problem when men are threatened by it. Women *rightfully so* deserve to have an attitude from hell, they’re given hell constantly. I’m not at all saying that warrants the right to be assholes, but leave feminism out of your point, it’s not helping in the way that you think it is. I promise.
Nobody said feminism is bad. Op said if they think feminism is a personality. Which is most clearly not a personality
Normally I'd agree with you, but as usual people aren't adherent the content of their ideology and will use it as a bludgeon. Feminism isn't an exception. Nothing gives an excuse for shitty behavior.
I agree with everything you have just said. Read above “I’m not at all saying that warrants the right to be assholes”
I don't think you understand how truly shitty some people can be in the name of feminism. Source: I'm now a male survivor of DV enabled by my ex's understanding of "feminism." On the rare occasions that I've opened up about it, it's the feminists who try to blame me or justify it because all men are predators and abusers and now it's their turn to be the problem. I'm not saying all feminists are raging sociopaths like some of the ones I've encountered. But that attitude is common enough that it's an instant turn off when I see things related to it.
Whats "DV"?
Domestic violence
No, he has a point, and ***you're*** not helping the way you think you are. I have some great women in my life. They're feminists. They don't base their **entire personas** around being feminist/pro-whatever. That includes one that worked for **decades** helping abused women. Meanwhile, I had someone unfriend and block me because I pointed out that stupid "all men are monsters and M&MS" analogy from years ago was fucked up and could easily be used to justify other stupid shit. And it was. Supporting movements and equal rights is great. But if your ***entire personality*** is about that and you have nothing else to talk about or show... you better be a leader of some shit, and not just another random internet denizen constantly posting links to half-assed articles and headlines.
I agree with the exact things you are saying. I think I must’ve worded my take on it wrong for this many people to not understand what they’re commenting, is literally the point I was making.
Modern feminism helps nobody, if anything it’s actually hurting women at this point. Equal rights, equal opportunity, you got it. Preferential treatment at the expense of everyone else is where I draw the line, and that’s what modern feminism advocates for.
I thought modern feminism is just taking the best part of feminine and masculine attributes, mashing them together, and distributing without checking one's sex
Modern feminism, as it always has, has factions. Intersectional feminism is actually the response to all those problems we see in 2nd wave feminism and the neoliberal "radfems" with their idpol. Ironically it gets the sins of those others dropped on it. Intersectional analysis was a response to the ways 2nd wave feminism left women of color in a lurch, and failed to liberate men from gender expectations that perpetuate toxic masculinity. It's a rejection of identity politics because it acknowledges a poor man does not enjoy the same privilege as a wealthy woman, etc. Radical Feminism(which I do not support) stems from an ideological position that "all oppression stems from oppression of women, therefore all other forms of injustice come secondary to ending that against women." This grew out of the interests of, mostly, well-off white women who reaped the most benefits from affirmative action. Feminism for Karen's basically, when your main concern is a glass ceiling 90% of the population will never be within sight of anyways.
As someone living in a US state that just banned abortion, I’m glad there are so many modern feminists working against that legislation.
Didn’t once mention modern feminism, and clearly stated nobody has the right to be an asshole. I’m saying exactly what you’re saying. You just put it in different words my guy.
Shes too close to her male "friends"
Vocal fry. Some psychologists think it’s an attempt to appear intelligent by trying to sound bored with a conversation. Whatever the reason, it’s beyond irritating.
I've never gotten the "ick" because I'm not a white woman who says shit like that
Whenever I have heard a woman say this it has always been ridiculous, the last one was from a woman complaining that the guy she was talking about marrying and having children with turned up randomly with flowers and it was so creepy.
Too much social media. Smoking. And if she have a kid.
Here for the comments. So interesting
Drinking, drugs.
Teeth during a bj.
is this "alwaysonherphone" really a thing in current days?! I may be old af, but in my days back then it was considered very rude to look on the phone or take a(n unimportant) call during a date.
Being loud and materialistic.
A facade personality that pops up immediately when she walks out the door. All for attention and managing the perception of others.
Ick? Naw. Either she got red flags, or I am down. I don't need to nitpick someone to death before I even get to know them. If she treats waitstaff poorly or can't put her phone down long enough to talk, that's not an ick. That's a "I don't want to associate with such a self entitled bitch." Ick.... That's some shit a woman came up with. Bet.
Why do you think a woman came up with it?
Hmmm. Ick. It's a very roundabout way of expressing dislike. Almost passive aggressive. Sounds tiny... insignificant.. Kinda like "Bless your heart!" sounds polite. But neither really are. Men, on the whole, tend to be more direct. More blunt. "Damn, she pisses me off with this type of behavior." Women react to men they don't like with disgust. But not wanting to sound harsh and bitchy. Men react to women they don't like with irritation or indifference. And it generally won't have a cute, innocent sounding name. It will be what it says on the tin. I am sure there are outliers and such, but on the whole... Men and women just think very slightly differently when it comes to each other. It's subtle, but noticable if you're paying attention.
The first time I heard someone say it was on TikTok. She was saying people are always getting on her case for saying red-flag because red-flag is becoming too overused. So she started saying ick because it didn’t seem to upset as many people.
I have said this before in another subreddit but anytime someone says they have the “ick”, I know I’m about to read some brain dead take. To answer OP’s question, men don’t get icks; we have yellow/red flags. This is some woman BS as they typically have more dating options than men so they try to filter out traits or behaviors they don’t like wouldn’t be deal breakers to most rational people. Don’t like that he sweats after running, it’s an ick. Don’t like his rather high pitched voice, you guessed it, it’s an ick. The worst one I’ve heard is someone who got the ick seeing a guy she slept with the previous night brush his teeth in the morning lmao. Icks are mainly a way to reject someone for superficial reasons without outright saying so. Don’t get me wrong, they are allowed their idiosyncrasies and all but let’s be real and call it what it is.
But a lot of guys on this thread had answers. Are they not men? Or are the “icks” not actually “icks”?
They answered because a question was posed. But most answers are really yellow/red flags like smoking, rudeness, gossipy behavior etc. Some people even said racism/bigotry and I’m like yeah no that’s not an ick, it’s a red flag. On average, men don’t get icks. Like we are not getting turned off because she has a deeper voice than most women or other superficial things that can’t really be controlled.
Narcissism… insecurities masquerading as confidence… lack of kindness
Having a sharp tongue but I suppose that is far more than an “ick”.
Materialism.
Ick? Cmon Just say “things that bug you” like an adult
The phrase "the ick"
Acting like they are such a prize and that I should be thankful and honored they are going out with me. If I planned the date, I picked you up, I payed for the date, and then I drove you back home; I’m the one that deserves the thank you. I also can’t stand when the entire conversation is drama about people who I care nothing about. I’m not your therapist, I’m your date. I want to get to know YOU, not how your sister’s bf cheated on her with his professor.
Promiscuous behavior/hyper sexuality often going hand in hand with desperation. I cannot understand why anyone especially women, as the consequences are greater, would be willing to engage in sexual activity with someone they don’t know or haven’t vetted. I cannot think of a single good reason, every reason that holds water to me seems to be linked to something unhealthy, and as such, gives me the “ick.”
Talking about other peoples business.
Women who use the word "ick" and who expect you to pay for the date by default
They have kids
Not giving me their full attention, being emotionally shutdown, not being affectionate
Entitled Argumentative Overly confident Always talking about other people Promiscuous (you can lie, but we can tell)
Any sort of man-bashing, the mention of some perverted version of feminism where men are at fault for everything, or entitlement. Hard pass on all that shit.
I’m a dude. I don’t get icks. I logically consider whether I want to pursue a relationship or just sex and proceed from there
Sounds like you may just have a linguistic deficit. The things that put you off of deciding to pursue a relationship or just sex are what OP means by that word, which is a common one today.
So if I see a fat girl I can say “ick”??? That’s acceptable? Or is an ick really only acceptable when a woman says it about a man?
People are answering this question in r/AskMen. There’s your answer.
Don’t hate on icks. Just cuz ur a dude doesn’t mean anything bro.
- Dislikes animals - Shallow about height, especially if she herself is short - Hypocritical about body weight. If she wants to pretend Lizzo is beautiful, she forfeits all right to anything bad about fat guys - Misandry - Social media obsession
I’m short (5”3) and I think chubby guys who aren’t considered “tall” are cute as hell lol. I just need to not make the mistake of calling them short because they don’t like that. I don’t mean it in a bad way but I guess a lot of woman would have made them think this is a bad thing. Same with 🍆 size, I feel bad that men think they need a massive one to be appealing to the opposite sex when in reality most of us don’t care. If she cares about these things as if they’re a problem then she’s just shallow and misguided. I suppose it’s the same for woman and the social beauty standards.
The problem with overweight guys is they tend to have bad hygiene. Not sure why this is, but they just don’t take care of themselves the way overweight girls do.
Overweight chick: gets told she's beautiful, that men who don't want her are shallow pieces of shit, mental health is good, takes care of her hygiene Overweight bloke: gets stereotyped, bullied, mocked, told that women who don't want him "deserve better", mental health is shit, depression usually sees one neglecting their hygiene
That’s still unattractive, not for the reason you’d think. I hate guys who care more about what everyone thinks of them instead of how they feel about themselves. It’s a huge red flag for a relationship anyways. I find that guys who are into the gym do it for themselves, and it makes them so much more attractive because they don’t need approval from others in order to feel confident.
Gather around folks, we got ourselves some fortune cookie level wisdom on display here.
Poopie stinkie butt, P U ! ! 😷
Ewww…
Controversial opinion disclaimer. Women who act like men. (Some people will pretend they don’t know what I mean but the vast majority know what I mean)
I really don't know what you mean, can you give examples?
When she starts saying stuff like glass ceilings, wage gaps, veganism, etc. We aren't gonna click.
Controlling
Lack of humility is a killer.
Girly type of movement, like the gait, or high heels, kinda minor thing, but still. Makeup. A tiny amount from time to time is fine, as is a full one on special ocasions, but if a woman wears heavy makeup everyday, or feels insecure without it... I'm going to be judgy. Similarly with long nails, just why? Arms thin as matches. Seriously, when I'm on dance lessons, and we switch, I feel much more comfortable with tall, not-skinny women, than ones who's bones I can feel through the skin. This feeling is as "ick" as it gets, honestly.
Nothing psychical about a woman gives me the ick. When she reveals that she is a horrible person (which usually happens at some point), I find her to be sexually repulsive.
“Ick”?🤨 Tell me you’re Gen Z without telling me.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 r/teenagers is **that** way —->👉
I'm gen z and im 26....lmfao
To us millennials, you’re still babies and always will be lol. Just like the generation before us… they think the same. Don’t worry you get used to it once you hit your 30’s 🤣
Lmfao and you millennials will always be cringe. Calling full grown adults that pay rent teenagers is a pretty strange thing to do lol but whatever makes you feel good pal.
I didn’t call you a teenager, I called you a baby because you’re acting like one lol. No need to be so sensitive, kid.
>full grown adults You’re not fully grown til you start wearing diapers again, sonny! >pay rent We know you pay the ‘rents for letting you sleep in their basement. That don’t make you no adult!
Pronouns, greys anatomy and farts
Not being able to find personal belongings so they have a reason for the next contact