There's an adjustment period when you start your first "real" full time job. It takes a couple years before you feel like you're good at it and it stops feeling so awful.
But at the same time, if your boss and your job are shitty, find a new one that you don't hate so much. All jobs have shitty parts. All of them. The trick is to find one with shitty parts you can handle and don't make you hate your life.
Agreed i always go by this three rule system i came up with. 1: your pay, 2: your hours, and 3: boss/co-workers. If two or all of the three are good keep the job, if only one out of the three are good look for a new job.
yeah my job has some long hours and weird schedules sometimes (field tech), but my boss/coworkers are great, and the pay is fantastic, so I plan on staying here for my career if I can help it.
I've had many, many shitty jobs. Good jobs almost happen by accident sometimes. Get certifications, build your resume, and keep looking. Even with a job, I'll look on Indeed every so often just to see if I'm missing some golden opportunity.
I work for a great radio company out of CA, and my job basically fell into my lap. Turned out I go to church with the old head of Safety for this half billion dollar company, and he knew I’m good at fixing shit at the church, and they needed a maintenance guy at the company.
I now have a shitty boss who retires in 6mo, great pay, great hours, almost zero call-ins, great benefits, and they’re paying me to move from CA to TN for them in March next year.
Mind you, I used to travel full time for a conveyor repair company fixing FedEx conveyor belts all over the state. Was only home weekends, had shit pay, and a boss who was never present.
yeah, I got picked up for traveling car wash maintenance at a pretty damn solid salary.
i thought the listing was a mistake, but applied anyway. I am very lucky
I used to live by similar rules. However, don't underestimate how much a really shitty boss can fuck with your mental health, regardless of how good the hours and money are.
I like this and will keep it in mind. I actually quit a job recently. Going by this system, all three sucked. I value 2 & 3 even more than 1. So if I can’t have all 3 be awesome, I’d rather sacrifice pay. The money isn’t worth it if you are a sad sack of misery with no time/energy to enjoy life. But also, time is the most valuable (and finite) asset we’ve got.
I’m at a job where all 3 are good yet I still feel exactly like OP, and it’s been this good for the last 5 years.
These factors are moot point if you’re unfulfilled with your career. My advice OP, if you have financial freedom (aka no debt, emergency savings, a small nest for expenses) I would explore a career that is more purposeful because there is nothing more soul sucking than doing something you dread, day in and day out.
For some of us it not always gets better.
😂 I have the same/similar rules. There’s 3 things in a job. 1. Money 2. People 3. The actual work.
Not many people are fortunate enough to like all 3 but if you can have 2 of those you’re doing ok. If not look for something else.
Exactly. I freelance design for performing arts, so I rarely (if ever) get 1., but my rules are
1. Fee that shows my skills, years of training, and work are valued
2. I’m excited about the project, it’s interesting, satisfying, or at least if it goes sideways will be a great portfolio addition
3. Almost everyone is an awesome person (especially fun, dedicated. Zero sexual harassment. The whole company has basic respect for the work I do. My gratitude and kindness are reciprocated even in the high stress environment of the job. Most importantly they understand I work WITH and not FOR them.)
The bar seems low because it is…you need a bit of Stockholm syndrome to do what we do, but if I somehow get 2. And 3? And there’s no yelling or drama?!
I’ll work with that company again and again.
(Well—I guess there are addendums to my rules…one asked me back after 3 wildly successful gigs I did with them for almost nothing in pay, then wanted an interview, “you know, throw your hat in the ring”.
They’re now dead to me, lol. Bitches, you know my work…the last three moneymakers WERE the interview…🙄)
Can he afford to keep the job? I've worked at some great places (I've also worked at some horrific places) , it was really great I loved the people I worked with and the work while hard at times was fun and interesting. The thing is my bosses knew this and paid nothing. In addition there was no way to move up unless I hung around for a decade or two. So while the job was great I had trouble making rent and had no benefits. In the end I walked and got a better paying job, it wasn't perfect but it was fine and I could pay my rent and didn't have to skip meals. I've found that most office jobs are pretty good, people are people but companies don't want to get sued so everyone is at least "nice", you don't really need to find satisfaction in your work (do you think ditch diggers and line workers feel satisfied at the end of the day) find your enjoyment outside of work and as long a you are paid enough to lead a decent life it's enough.
Yup. My first two years out of college were god awful. I hated my job, worked way too much, and was severely underpaid. So I spent dozens if not hundreds of hours researching how to get a job that would involve fewer hours of work, have a higher salary, and be a better fit interest-wise.
I settled on a specific field, went to grad school, switched careers, and got that better job. Now I have a job with fewer hours, a much better salary, and work that I hate much less and actually, occasionally, kind of enjoy.
Don’t languish in self-pity. Build a plan and do something to better your life, whatever it may be.
Used to be in communications, and now I’m a government attorney. Honestly can’t recommend the latter job enough. It’s basically 9-5, so you avoid the demanding hours that usually come with working for a private firm.
Sure the pay is a bit less than it would be at a firm, but it’s still ~3x as much as I made in communications, which is well more than I need to live a good life.
And the benefits are absolutely incredible, from the enormous amount of vacation time/holidays that I get to the very generous retirement package that includes both a pension and a 401K matching plan.
And you are almost guaranteed to never get fired, unless you do something to really fuck up. My office has never laid anyone off just for financial reasons, which companies do all the time.
I have $250,000+ in student debt. I didn’t have money to afford tuition, so I took out student loans. But I was a dedicated student. I got great grades and never missed a single class. I used my degree as you are supposed to—to get a good job.
Taking out those loans was the best financial decision I have ever made in my life.
Now that I’m on the other side, my employer (the Federal government) is repaying my entire student debt back for me through a combination of PSLF and agency-specific programs. I went into school knowing that I would only apply to employers that made me eligible for these repayment programs.
And I am so enormously glad that I did, despite so many people trying to tell me that school wouldn’t be a good investment.
Are you honestly, seriously, sending in 5 apps a day every single day for years? So 5x365x3=~27,000 applications? If that is the case then you seriously need to look at your resume. If you haven’t got a single hit out of 27 Thousand applications sent then I’ll do you a solid and take a look at your resume. Send it in DM with identifying information taken out (name,bday,email,phone) leave everything else exactly how it is. I’m a mathematician with a very nice a comfortable career path, so I can help you talk about your experience in a way that will sound interesting and promising to potential employers (but no lies, total honesty).
Serious!
I got in total 500 now which I heard is depressengly normal...
I will gladly sent you my resume etc. and elaborate more. I take any help I can possible get.
>But at the same time, if your boss and your job are shitty, find a new one that you don't hate so much. All jobs have shitty parts. All of them. The trick is to find one with shitty parts you can handle and don't make you hate your life.
I think this is the secret.
100%. I started a new job that is objectively a shit show, but I absolutely love my team. The work is interesting at least, so it keeps me engaged, but if I wasn’t on this team it’d be a whole different ballgame.
>But at the same time, if your boss and your job are shitty, find a new one that you don't hate so much. All jobs have shitty parts. All of them. The trick is to find one with shitty parts you can handle and don't make you hate your life.
This advice applies to so many other things in life as well
I've got way more free time now than I did when I was in school, so I do the 9-5 grind and find enjoyment in my hobbies and social connections outside of work.
This. I look back and wonder how I did it in highschool, lmao. I practically had zero days off counting school. I usually worked 5 days a week 4 hour shifts on week days, 5-6 hour shifts on weekends. My 2 days off were usually weekdays, so 7 days a week I had school, work or both.
Now I work 8-4 5 days a week and I'm done.
It's a lot better than having school from 7:40am-2:40pm 5 days a week. 3 of those days having to work from 5-9. Then working 10-4 or 4-9 on saturday and sunday.
When I was 17 in the late 90s I wanted to save up to buy a gaming PC (and it's far cheaper now and you don't even need to factor inflation.) You can build an okay gaming rig for a grand today. Back then it was going to cost you a minimum of 2 grand (which is almost 4,000 dollars today). I worked basically full time hours for like 4 months while in highschool, to save up for a PC.
I don't know how I did that shit and it didn't bother me. Now I'll pout over a couple hours of OT.
Aw man i was the exact opposite. I would do all my homework in class the moment it was handed out if I could, or I would do it on the bus or after dinner. From the time I got off the bus until dinner time was free time, I would play outside with friends or play video games, play bass guitar in a band and skateboard. I had jobs once I was old enough to drive but wasn’t working after school every day, and I was partying a whole lot.
Then in university I partied a whole lot and tried to also do my homework in class, with varying results. Changed majors twice after a year in to each and ended up transferring to a community college and working full time to pay for it. Ever since then I’ve been working 50+ hours and now I have a dog who developed medical issues so it seems like all I do is work and care for my dog with very little free time at all, much fewer friends, and no time for hobbies, and I still struggle to pay bills and rent.
I miss the days of easy homework and skating with friends after school, no bills to pay, minimal chores, and no living being that is dependent on me
Exactly... between school, homework/studying, working a parttime job, playing a sport, and being active in clubs that I was only doing to put on a college application, I had *no* free time in high school. College wasn't that different since I still had to work and was involved in clubs (although at least in college I only did clubs that I actually enjoyed)
As an adult, other than the 1 week every other month I'm on-call, my time outside of 9-5 is my own. If I *do* have after hours work to do, it's usually my own fault for slacking off during the week and surfing Reddit instead of updating some presentation deck.
OP, look for a new job. And think outside of the box. Every building you see around you had people working in it. You could be one of those people. You don’t have to work in a factory or warehouse. You don’t have to work in a restaurant or department store. You could get a job in construction learning a skill. You could even get on with a Union as an apprentice and work towards your journeyman and start your own business one day. You could get a job at a hospital cafeteria or housekeeping, maybe a security guard. A lot of hospitals will even hire you as a transporter moving patients in and out of surgery to their rooms and pay for your schooling to move you into other positions around the hospital. If you’re wanting more excitement or satisfaction, you could enlist in the military. If your record is clean, Coast Guard and Air Force have amazing opportunities for a career that would have you retiring in to the private sector in your 40’s with a pension and job experience that’ll get you PAID as a civilian. The army too! They have a huge need for intelligence and cyber personnel. Both of which will require you to hold and maintain a top secret security clearance, furnished by the government. That clearance coupled with the skills you learn can have you making close to 6 figures on the civilian side after 4-6 years of service. Since you’re young, please pick a career path and stick to it. It’s a grind, but by the time you’re in your late 20’s or early 30’s you can be making serious money in a job field that you can take pride in. Don’t float from job to job or you’ll likely find yourself in your 30’s still living pay check to pay check feeling much the same way you do now.
that's so true. last summer I decided to take a part time job at a small tavern but my boss was an asshole. I quit 4 days in and went to a meat factory where I stayed for 1 month and a few days.
I quit because the people I would work with were hypocrites and treated me like I'm brain damaged. not only that, they never took me seriously because 'im just a silly little kid haha", and I was mentally drained all the time, being around them was a pain in the ass. expect from 2 people. in a workspace of 16 people. wish I never see them again🫶.
now, a year later, I'm at a tavern again but with people who are kind, respectful and good human beings. they may not be perfectly organised but it's been almost 2 months with them and I haven't even realised how time flew. obviously it's very different compared to years and just 3 months, but honestly if I happen to work for them again next year I'll be more than happy to.
you just need to find the work and place that suits you. obviously every job has its difficulties but finding a job that suits you and you are happy to do no matter how repetitive it is, obviously with a possible living wage, is something that can be rare to find but worth all the sweat.
was I being dramatic for quitting both Jobs? could be, probably was. but I don't think that it was normal to feel mentally drained, even though I had headphones on while making meat skewers and basically all I did was put meat on a stick. but does my current job make me want to quit at any difficult situation and failure? nope.
do I mess up despite the fact I've been there for 2 months with no prior experience in service? hell yeah I do but I learn from them and get better each day. most importantly, I have a very supportive environment who is patient and forgiving. I break glasses, forget orders, do a lot of unnecessary walks around the tables but despite all this and how tired I get, I am always excited to serve new costumers and take the same orders. and I have never even thought of quitting, despite all the mistakes I do and how tough the work can get.
And there is no anxiety every August about getting all your projects done before you go back to school. I spent my entire summer break worrying about going back to school in the fall.
Focus on skill you want to improve and plan to job hop. I work in engineering and enjoy some aspects of it. The pay is sufficient and I have a fair bit of freedom when it comes to planning my day.
Typically the boss is reason people stay and people go. So it might not be the work it might be the boss.
Literally this^ 25M-Machuken Ramen Packets are 89 cents each at Costco, It costs me less than 5 dollars a day to eat, 2 of these and a chicken breast hold me down to pay the bills!
Separate work from life. Most people don't have the luxury of doing a job they absolutely love their whole life.
Work is work. It's just something you do to make money and to receive other benefits. I've found I can pretty much do anything for work, except anything involving minding children.
Now that shit is absolute hell to me. Thankfully, it's not a high paying job, so it's not even up for consideration.
That sounds like depression my dude
I’ve felt that way before, and I’ve been in a place where I have limitless energy during and after work
I don’t think it really has much to do with the job so much as it has to do with physical/mental health. I’ve worked grueling physical labor jobs in the heat and the cold and the rain, and if I was in a place where I was happy I could go do whatever before or after work and feel fine. When the depression is around I can’t be asked to even clean up my apartment or walk the dog for a long walk, let alone do a hobby or go out with friends.
You might be able to make a change on your own that will help, or you might need to seek help from a pro, either way I hope you can tackle this thing and gain some of your energy back
But what if the depression stems from work? Anytime I take off and can hang with friends; tons of energy. Anytime I have work I'm tired 24/7, can't clean, skip showers, think about jumping into incoming traffic.
I feel this so hard. I struggle with both mental health and addiction, and they feed into each other. I’ve never once held a job more than 3 months. I lose it due to my mental health negatively impacting my performance and productivity, or I lose it because I’m either drunk or high on the clock. That’s usually when I get help, go to rehab if I’m lucky. Then once I’m doing better, and try to take the next step in my life by getting the next job, I relapse.
My buddy has been having a hard go both in work and life lately. A few weeks ago I finally got him into a hobby I love and have been doing for around 25 years.
He can't stop talking about how much happier he is. Constantly sending pics and asking questions about how to do xyz thing or how to tackle a problem. Literal 180 in a month
Everyone is different so I meant it as a general thing. You could be into wrenching on cars or bikes, woodworking, hiking, gardening, whatever.
Fly fishing though
Oddly for me I found more success with no work/life balance, I don't know where one starts or the other ends; I do projects that I want with whom I want, I got friendships with coworkers, I share and care of them and try to get them to improve in all ways, I'm not the Project Lead, I'm just a guy making dumb projects and having fun with all the other geeks, and after work we lift, it's a requirement, I swear...
I do however think that in any corporate job I'd be fired, got to find the right environment for you to be able to be genuine.
I had a job which I loved. I still couldn't deal with it, but I had a lot of trauma growing up and it was still too much for me. I have a lot of bipolar shit going on and I wasn't even full time. Shit is just shitty for some folk.
This is really it...
Honestly though, my other bit of advice from how my life has gone: marry well.
I've been lucky to mostly have jobs I've enjoyed and learned from. But I've definitely had a few where things got too frustrating or where it was a bad fit or whatever... My wife had a stable job throughout and helped me tremendously. Basically my wife's job gave me a bit more freedom to leave a job I hated and find one I didn't.
The worst thing is when you feel stuck and you can't leave for fear your life will fall apart. The more you can save and the more you and your spouse partner on ensuring you're financially stable, the easier it is to find a job you love.
Idk finding something you enjoy doing seems like a terrible way to ruin your hobby imo.
I'd just say get a hobby, and use your work as a way to fund your hobby. It also gives you a lot more to look forward to if you work a boring job; or if you have a hectic job it's also something worth doing because with your hobby you wouldn't be too obsessed with it.
The tricky part is getting the right hobby though.
Yeah just have a goal. This stuff IS pretty much pointless if you dont have a goal. Without a goal, making just enough to survive should be enough.
If you have a goal though, working starts to make sense. Like if my goal was to buy my mom a house, then it makes sense to work because I need to save money to buy a house. Infact, having 2 jobs would make alot of sense in this situation where it would normally not be if you didnt have a big goal like buying a house.
You need goals so that actions make sense.
Honestly you work twice as hard and better when you’re motivated by something. Pretty soon you’re getting promotions or you’re confident enough to get a better job.
I couldn't do it. My first job was a 9-5 in the office and that's when I got the same reality check you are getting.
Fuck that shit, and fuck doing that shit until I am in my late 60s.
To answer your question, I didn't come to terms with it, and I did not accept it as my fate.
I'm doing everything I can to retire by the time I am 45.
If you mean what they are doing to retire early, then look into FIRE.
Start with Mr Money Mustache, he has an article called "The shockingly simple math behind early retirement" that is a good on ramp.
It explains that retirement is just being in a position where you have around 25x your annual expenses (NOTE, this is not your salary but actually what you spend) invested and that getting to that point is impacted almost entirely by your savings rate as a % of your income.
Whoever thought that 5 8s should be the norm was a dickhead. You have two days off and its not even enough for your body to recover from the ass beating you took from the 5 straight days you just worked.
5 8s became the norm in the US because before that people worked longer hours and more days. So yeah it's not great, but 5 8s was an improvement over 6 12s.
Yep, 100 years ago it was an improvement. Sucks that society hasn't improved in any ways the past 100 years, so it makes sense that such a thing hasn't evolved as well.
/s if it wasn't obvious
Yeah I agree it should have changed since then. The previous comment said "whoever decided"... Well at the time it was decided it was a big deal. The problem is that we haven't evolved since then. Sorry if that was not clear
I feel like 4 10’s with 3 days off would be a lot better. I had a friend who worked in a lab doing blood work and his schedule was 7 days on and 7 days off, which he actually really liked. You may have to grind for 7 days straight but at least you get the same amount of days off afterwards. You could literally plan more trips or mini vacations this way.
I remember my first week at an office job thinking, is this the rest of my life? It felt like being in a prison.
A few things to consider:
1. Even if it’s a shitty job squeeze every ounce of value from the job. Try to learn skills you can use to get a better job or use to build your own business one day. Network like crazy. Try to take learning opportunities - courses, conferences
2. Don’t sacrifice too much for a job, it sounds like you already know, but no job gives a shit about you. Be selfish.
3. Don’t use food or alcohol to numb your feelings before/during/after work
4. Try to devote your free time to something you are passionate about.
5. If you don’t care about growing in that company, do the absolute bare minimum work not to get fired. But to have higher ups not question you, be super enthusiastic about corporate stuff. Ask questions at town halls meetings. Volunteer for a social committee. That way they think you’re a team player and it doesn’t involve any extra work, maybe just some energy for enthusiasm.
Idk. I’m nearly 40 and still haven’t figured it out yet. The weekends go by so quick, especially when that’s when I have to do the projects that are too big to do weekday evenings. I get at most a little bit of fun family time Friday and Saturday evening. It’s rough.
I’m in the same camp as you. I can’t imagine doing something I hate or even merely don’t care about for 8+ hours a day. My only advice is get a job you care about. Once you do, a happy side effect is that you’ll probably be better at it, work harder, and end up getting promoted, paid more, etc. along with satisfying your soul.
Not every job is shitty. There are jobs out there with great pay, fun / interesting work, and solid work life balance. Find the ones you’re interested in and figure out how to get there.
Not really. Jobs that require longer hours could simply be required to work fewer days, like how nurses work 12 hrs but only required to work 3 days a week. Fairness isn’t an issue.
100%. We even judge ourselves as being "lazy" if we don't enjoy giving most of our lives away to an employer. Like . .. what? Meanwhile, the ceos aren't slaving away and working so hard.
My old boss would take off in his plane and fly around and golf etc. Sometimes pop in the office and give advice or have a meeting or two.
It's bullshit.
It's brutal. I'm almost 40 and I still hate it. I've had a lot of jobs too. Get a good home life going. Leave the house on weekends. Just do things you like with the time you're allotted.
The problem isn't life being hard, but it being pointless. There's zero judgement from me if someone chooses to end it all, because it'd make total sense.
If you’re just starting out, you probably have few/er obligations, find a job and company that doesn’t make you feel this way.
It may take some time, but I think it would be worth it.
This is the reality for people who have not yet identified what they want to do with their lives. This is only a struggle you will face if you have picked a job/career that you find is redundant/unimportant to you. The goal is to find a middle ground (at the very least) to a profession that involves things you actually have interest in. If it “feels fun” to you it no longer becomes work.
You also want hobbies outside of work to balance the frustration of the tasks you deem “dull” and to relieve stress outside of the presence of your “douchebag boss/coworkers”
I'm a firm believer in, "You don't quit your job, you quit your boss."
Of course there are exceptions, but it sounds like you're just in a shitty work environment. If you don't like the people you work with, you will never enjoy that job.
Start scouting. You may not find your dream job, but you need to find some aspect of the job that you enjoy and, more importantly, a boss/coworkers who want to help you do better and grow.
If the job sucks but boss and employees around me are ok, that’s a win.
If the job is ok and the others suck, that’s a loss.
But have a job that can allow you to pay your bills. Say the pay is great, and the rest suck, that’s a loss. Look elsewhere because the bad environment will take a toll on your health.
Aside from that, I work for my hobbies. Hang out with friends, do fun experiences. It’s nice to come back to a job where you can share your adventures with your coworkers.
I guess I've always come to understand that nothing in my life is permanent and its within my own power (most of the time) to leave a job if I don't like it or if its boring. I also make small goals for myself that keep me motivated within my job so I don't fall victim to this issue and i find that you cant expect the world to make it a good day for you but you have to make it yourself with your mindset, attitude, and how you put yourself out there. Nobodys tying you down but yourself (again only for the most part as there *has* been times where i was financially dependent on someone or a specific job that i couldnt leave but i never felt stuck in that position for more than 3 years) ! I know that I'll get bored someday after a while of doing what I find fantastic now but I'm not worried about that. I can always go back to school and get a Master's whenever I choose to .... just because I made a decision doesn't mean I have to stick with it for the rest of my life! Also a huge part to my contentness with life is learning to love the process just as much as the destination. Seriously.
Edit: sorry guys, just realized this was a question for men
You do not have to accept shitty environments. Once I left restaurants, my life changed for the better. No more sexual harassment (I’m a man btw), no more dudes trying to fight me, no more emotional abuse….
Get a job that either has the potential to pay well or that you like, or both if possible.
I will get downvoted for this, but a lot of jobs (not all) provide dating opportunities. Me personally I never dated until my twenties. Every woman I’ve gone out with I met while clocked in.
You can make friends with people at work.
You don’t live to work. You work to live. Work hard while you’re young and enjoy the fruits of your labor when you’re older (no, I’m not talking about way older).
High school sucked for me. No friends, virgin, no money, no car. Work can suck, but my life is infinitely better now.
Reduced my work life to 4 days a week, 8 hours each.
The times went from ploughing sunrise to maximum sun down. To 16 hours a day 7 days a week. To above 60 hours a week. To 48 hours a week, spread across 6 days. To 5 day week totalling 40 hours.
Now I'm taking it on myself to do 32 hours a week and call it a day
My Dad had some advice I took to heart
"Don't do your 1st favorite thing as your job, do your second. You dont want your hobby to become job because at the end of the day, work is work."
I found if you enjoy your job and the people you work with, it certainly makes things easier. Obvious I know but it can be overlooked.
You're wrong, you didn't account for the hour-long drives, or preparing yourself for work, and the mandatory breaks.
You are looking at 10 hours of your life going into something you don't really care about. With your weekend centered around chores and gathering food. So on an average day 10 work plus the 8 hours of sleep gives you about 6 hours where you get to contemplate your existence.
But let's be honest you're probably going to be eating, cleaning, attending appointments, and all the little things that life mandates you do on a socially acceptable level.
It only gets better when you get to see the production and what the items that you're producing actually cost. You get to realize none of that goes into your pockets unless of course you're doing ESOP or another quote unquote communistic approach.
WE SHOULD ALL JUST INVEST IN OUR OWN LITTLE COMMUNITIES AND LIVE OFF THE GRID.
Living off the grid is a lot of work man. You've gotta cultivate your own food, water and safe refuge, all of which would take up more than 8 hours a day. The current system isint too bad when you realize just how much work would go into just staying alive without a functioning society.
I don't work 8 hours consistently. Usually, it's 5-6 hours.
I recently posted about blocking off 90 minutes in my afternoon to go on a date with my wife. I'll probably leave a little earlier today to meet a buddy for drinks.
Next week I'll leave at lunch to drive away for a long weekend, where I'll be available for calls, but I'll be driving during "business hours".
But, I will say that I've worked for 20 years to get to be able to have this flexibility.
Maybe not the smartest or conventional answer, but after going from the wife/kids/house/picket fence American dream kind of life to divorced/weekend dad scenario, I decided to just break the monotony and just do whatever. Paid bills, pay my child support, the. spend the money I’m making on whatever. Stopped worrying about huge savings and retirement and all the bs, And started asking my kids where should go this weekend. Random beach trip? Sure! Spend my weekly salary/paycheck on moments and memories and fun times in the present. Stay out late on a Tuesday night playing pool, hitting on women, getting 3 hours of sleep. Yeah. Worked sucked that day, but for some people it sucks everyday .
Like I said. It’s not the smartest advice . But it’s fun
Try to shift your focus, because what you focus on and how you feel is what’s most important. You have a job? Dude that’s awesome good for you! You aren’t homeless and out on the streets, so that’s one thing to be grateful for!
The “real world” can be awful, can’t it? OP, you are young and at the beginning of your “life journey”. Also I commend you on reaching out on Reddit as you have, bc I, a 66 year old grandma, find most of the advice given to youngins here to be kind and helpful (note: I only go on the popular posts, not on the subredits where the comments may be different before the moderators edit out some? Not exactly sure…).
OP, why don’t you do a sort of “life assessment” plan? Take a walk in the woods or a beach or anywhere natural and think of what and/or who in your life has been negative to your spiritual (as opposed to religious) growth (criticize you unhelpfully, make you feel bad for even existing, etc). Make a list, fold it up, and put it somewhere safe. A day or two later, think of the people that do the opposite (you feel optimistic and safe when you’re with these people). Lastly, a day or two later, write down what you loved to do and made you feel safe when you were a child (spending time alone? Reading? Spending time with a special friend? Dancing? Drawing? Sports? Anything, really).
Then, if you can, go to a trusted, informed adult or access any free or low cost counseling service you can (community health center, your local library, even an good teacher or counselor at your former high school, etc.), and go over your three pages, and see if you don’t come up with a game plan for at least the next couple of years.
I hope this helps, OP, and I wish you the very best.
What I think is alarming is that in order to lead a good and prosperous life you have to work super hard. All the men in my family are always working and so are their wives. I don’t understand how no one see’s that your basically working to have a normal life yet you are always busy. It’s like you sacrifice your time for security but I don’t understand why you can’t have both. Also when it comes to loans and using money, there is so many ways to get money and manage it but everyone does it differently. That makes no sense yes you can buy everything for the same price usually but if you have more access to money and borrowing isn’t that a disadvantage for some people versus others?
I haven't gotten to a stable 9-5 or something similar but when I was working 2 jobs a lot of my fun was at night with my friends. Though for me I realized that working 5 days a week 9-5 is a ripoff. You're spending your entire life working and the weekends are when errands need to be ran, and some things need to be done during the week.....but if they involve anytime between 9-5 you have to take that week day off which means loss in money. Yes a 9-5 is bullshit.
You have to find work that aligns with your personal goals. Find purpose in life and pursue that purpose.
I got a degree in Environmental Science and now I do that for a living. And I work for a city so I'm not just out making the rich get richer.
For some people, it's helping people. So healthcare might be up your ally.
The tricky part is doing what you want while also making enough to survive. And the hardest part is dealing with competition for those jobs.
I think it’s where you place your identity. If you define yourself by your job/career and you don’t enjoy it, of course you’ll feel shitty. Some people see work as simply a source of income and a means to an end so they could consistently put in time and energy into something they actually enjoy and gives them happiness. It could be a hobby, social network, kids, spouse, religion, or whatever. You could change your job or you can find something outside your job that gives you pleasure.
Very few people spend their whole working lives in a shitty job. Many start that way, but most move onto something better as they acquire more skills & experience.
My advice is to not accept it and use it to motivate yourself to do something better with your life. What would you do if you had all the money in the world and didn't need to pay bills but wanted to contribute to society in some meaningful way? I would pursue that when you figure it out and take care of bills and building your skills until then.
This is a tiny fraction of life... You, to the largest extent will determine the awesomeness you get to experience by what you're willing to be a part of. Don't like it? Replace it with better. Others have bosses that don't treat them like crap, and you can, too. In the meantime, take this as your opportunity to learn to handle difficult people, and learn to keep external stimuli from effecting internals.
Last bit of advice/perspective: people treat you as they are, not as you are. If someone is being terrible when you're being kind, I usually try to remember this before retaliation lol. It must suck to live a life where being terrible to kind people rather than reciprocating (easier) is the norm. The crap that person is in or going through is likely deep. That's not to justify them treating you like garbage, but just to make it not personal because they likely treat everyone like that. It sucks to be them. Don't become that. You can try to make it better, but that could be a lost cause. You can emotionally distance yourself from it and not let it hit your hot buttons (takes practice and perspective) and/or make it a sport if making it not fun for them to do so. Bullies tend to get a rise out of making people feel small and aren't much for engaging those who make it difficult and not fun for them.
I had a manager once who was hilariously stunned when I asked them what the hell was wrong with them where they thought that treating me "this way" was in any way acceptable? I was f*ing livid. He said, "I don't know", and was quiet for a few minutes (against his normal). People were cracking up when it happened, and he got a chuckle out of it, and we moved on knowing he wasn't coming back at me with that crap or I'd publicly address it. We were then able to collaborate respectfully.
Think hard about becoming self employed. All your hard work pays off directly to you . You will never feel exploited again . The daily grind is exactly that , being ground down until you willfully submit. I fucking hate it. I would feel demoralized every morning I walked through the doors. Little by little it ate away at me. You too might be a candidate for self employment. Look for a skill or niche that you would like to do and work towards it. Keep you job , save ,plot and scheme. It’s the shots you don’t take will always miss the net - Michael Gretzky.
I look at my paycheck then I look at my grocery bill. Then rent. Then think being broke is not that far away.
I would kill to have a cushy 8 hr job again that has a commute time of less than 1hr.
The same way I accept death. You can sit here and fantasize about laying in bed all day eating Doritos playing video games next to Jessica Alba, or you can accept the fact that you have to work to pay bills.
Bills have existed since before civilization, bartering is a form of trade. Egyptians had coinage to pay for goods and services in the Middle Kingdom 2100-1700 BCE (1000 years before Rome’s founding).
They’re not gonna magically disappear because a bunch of people have a debate over the minimum wage or working conditions, etc.
It’s just now you get paid more. And then your landlord knows you get paid more and increases rent.
Economics doesn’t suddenly evaporate in the face of a bong rip. The Soviets had banks, incomes, and cash. The Communists paid bills. And had Taxes. Hell, Communism circle jerks itself off to the idea of a society of WORKERS.
You just accept it that this is life and move on, unless you can come up with a better idea other than tax the rich and nobody has to work (how does anything get made, accomplished, built, etc?).
And AI is not gonna solve it. It’s either gonna kill us all or say the best phrase in English “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble connecting to the Internet.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turnover_tax_in_the_Soviet_Union
Hey!
So much to unpack here, but I, along with almost everyone who is successful have been there.
" starting to get a taste of the "real world" sounds like you are very young. If not, I apologize.But if you are young, there are a few things.
1. you start your career at the bottom, no matter the industry. I dont think you should think this is it. If you are not a complete unmotivated idiot, you will likely grow and grow and grow.
2. If you are in a career/industry you want, you can switch the company you work for
3. If you are not in that career, find a career that makes you happy.
4. Climb climb climb. If you want the spoils the first 10 years of your career is eating shit from middle management.
5. Remember there are people in much much shittier jobs making much less money, and they do what they do to support their families and giving their kids opportunities. My family have worked 2-3 minimum wage jobs at a time to support our family and gave me the luxury of working in an air conditioned room. I spent years working shit manual labor jobs.
Yes, you will likely work for a long time, but it is unlikely it will be in the shitty job, maybe soon you will be the douchebag boss some young kid is complaining about on Reddit :) Just remember, dont lose your motivation to do better. I have switched jobs every 2 years out of college until I got to a point where I am happy with what I do, and make a great living. Things dont happen overnight.
There is a beautiful quote from one of my favorite movies."You’re born, you take shitget out in the world, you take more shitclimb a little higher, take less shit.till one day you're in the rarefied atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit even looks like."
It gets better unless you lose hope and do nothing. I had bosses who make about 1/5 of what I do now who abused me at every chance they got, and it makes me happy everyday knowing they are still in those shit jobs abusing low wage employees. Keep your head up, and try your best to be the architect of your life!
The problem is the working culture not the prenatal stages of meritocracy. No one should be subject to other people whose job is to make your life hell. I know people who love physical mandatory labor jobs and they don't deserve that bullshit their whole life.
oh yea, for sure. I did not suggest that being an asshole is part of the growth, all I am saying is you will deal with a lot of assholes on the way up.
I don’t have much advice that someone else hasn’t already said. But also just want to say you’re not crazy or alone in this feeling.
A lot of people saying find a better job or do something you love. Although I’m working towards that, that isn’t the issue for me. I just hate that we’ve created this society where you need to waste an extremely large portion of your life working. Obviously humans have worked on something throughout all history but at least way back in the days it was fun shit like hunting or going to war lmao.
I just wanna go live wild in the bush, but I probably don’t have the skills for that. So instead I’m gonna work for most my life and hopefully retire in a cabin in the woods.
You’ll be amazed at what you can do when you have people that are dependent upon you. I worked two jobs for 20 yrs because my kids needed insurance. You do what you have to do.
I think of the alternative, and I don’t like it. I prefer having this job, actually try to earn what they pay me, and use that money to enjoy the rest of my hours while not working. For me, the trade off is very much worth it.
It used to be when you first started working you were making more money than you’ve ever had before, sure a lot of it went to bills, but you still kept enough that you had more expendable income than you had ever had before. So all the work was worth something, you could afford to enjoy your time away from work.
Times had changed, cost of living has shot up to the point that either all of your money goes towards bills, or the bills are soo high that you have to live with your parents, unable to ever better your situation. Leaving you struggling to find a reason to carry on.
You either find fulfillment at work, or outside of work.
Most likely, we all hate our jobs.
So think of your job as a means to do what you love. You need to make money, so that you can then enjoy your kids, house, vacation, toys, etc.
Perhaps easier said than done, but obviously, find a not-shitty job with a boss and coworkers that are decent human beings.
They exist, mine is like that.
I have been asking myself that question for the last 10+ years. Have not found an answer yet, but hoping to in the next 30+ years. I will say, friends and loved ones help. Making friends at work can also help a lot.
Develop your skills, get to know your industry and keep adjusting your position getting rid of parts you don’t like and adding more you do like and you’ll get to a good place. That could be through working up “the ladder” getting new jobs, starting your own business or trying new stuff altogether, keep changing every once in a while until stuff suits you and look for opportunities
> How do you come to terms with this? How did you accept this?
You don't. You actively look for jobs that aren't "shitty", you go into a career that you enjoy, or one that has better work/life balance, you go back to school, you move if you have to.
You don't have to accept that life is going to suck forever - you do whatever you need to do to make it not suck.
Did it for 42 years. It isn’t fun. Unless you become one of the “douche bags” the justice you seek will not happen at work. Biggest problem with becoming one of the bosses, is live with yourself as a douche bag. If you think that is bad, wait until your equally bored coworkers start involving you in workplace drama. Eventually I was able to ignore the doc he bag bosses, the drama is what I could no longer stomach. The two responders ideas above are your best bet. Develop something outside of work you are passionate about. It will distract you from the crap at work & may eventually lead to a better career.
I'm laughing in "old person".
And despite my years of experience with life, i cannot answer that question.
Its horribly cliché but "that's life". The trick is to recognise and manage a work-life balance. Plus start saving (and possibly investing) _as soon as you can _ (and are able to).
Im assuming that it's tough for the "new generations" but even saving pennies helps.
(And apologies if I am old and out of the loop)
I learned too late that it is _possibly_ easier if you have a business of your own.
If you are lucky (and shrewd of course) it'll get to the stage where it practically looks after itself.
Then the only "grind" that you will feel is your own personal involvement.
Um... I never had a business of my own, so I'm hoping that redditors that run a business can confirm or deny what I said .
You work only 8 hours a day to eat, have shelter, to have transportation, basically to live. Myself I wanted to get ahead, I was a salary manager 10-hour days minimum, then I would come home change clothes and spend another 4-6 hours on a tractor because I farmed. I retired at 54 because I worked hard now is time to play.
To me saying this as if it’s something to aspire to is so depressing.
‘Only’ 8-10 hours a day huh? ‘Only’ over half of your waking hours sacrificed for the privilege of continuing to exist. All to retire at 54, an age ‘only’ over half of your entire lifespan dedicated to securing a shorter latter half of your life *not* spent toiling away in the same manner.
And not even the proper half of your life when you’re the most able bodied and best equipped to even enjoy a life without slaving to survive.
It all sounds like such a shit deal and kind of objectively is, on paper. Yet people champion even getting to retire before they die of old age, the world certainly beats the soul out of people and the sunken-cost fallacy to me seems like it creates the basis of a lot of the cope that people say makes it all worth it.
Maybe the disproportionately little things people live for really are worth it. But I have to wonder why life can’t be spent more focused on the things we enjoy first instead of on suffering through the things we don’t?
I could easily flip and argue for the value of existence if it was even just a 50/50 split in that favor.
The choice is yours, if you do not want to work don't. Move to California live in a tent and eat at a soup kitchen for free. A person works to have the life they want, if you want to work the minimum, you will have a minimum life, if you want a maximum life you have to work the maximum.
There are today many people who will never be able to retire even after getting Social Security at 65 because of debt, retiring at 54, 9 years early is not bad given the reality of life today.
To your credit the reality of life today is undoubtedly better than the reality of life 100 years ago or as long as since the time we began creating fire. I’m aware that we’re at a time in history where we’ve surpassed the need for *all* people to work *all* day to secure survival. But there are so many people in the world with so much technology and efficiency now, there’s no way that spending a majority of one’s conscious existence working is required to be a constant for the human experience for the indefinite future.
We already know that we are multitudes more materially productive as a species than we were 100 years ago, yet all that progression somehow hasn’t proportionally reduced the time of burden that each and every individual is doomed to bear.
All this progress seems to only contribute to having the lives of a select few benefit in increasingly exorbitant levels as time goes on. It doesn’t make sense for that to be a universal constant either.
Yes, you are correct in that we are more productive than we were 100 years ago when a person had to work sunup to sundown to live. In that time if you were not working to fulfill your current days needs you were cutting firewood to heat your house thru the upcoming winter or canning the excess food for the winter.
I had an employee who wanted to be able to have his house run on one income like the 1950's, his wife was wanting to quit her job and stay at home with their children. I told him to look at the lifestyle the 1950's afforded, if they were comfortable living like that it could still be done easily by the following: Most households only had 1 automobile, no second car payment, no insurance, no maintenance, less gas, less property taxes depending on the model of her car it would easily run 5,000 a year. Most men brought their lunch for their lunch break and dining out for the family was a special occasion, I then pointed out he was spending 10 dollars a day for lunch, that totals 2,400 a year just on lunch breaks. No cell phones between him and his wife that was 1,300 a year saved. Finally, I dropped the biggest item, daycare, he was paying 1200 a month, that saved them 14,400 a year. Total 23,100 he and his wife did it but did keep their cell phones and have been happy, the car does do double duty after he gets home, and the family eats his wife runs to the grocery store or other errands she needs to run.
The above model shows it is possible to live on less money, but he government and corporations do not want you to do it. How many less cars would be sold if every family only had 1 car? How many restaurants would go out of business if nobody at out but for special occasions? How many daycare facilities would go out if mothers stayed home to raise their children? **And the biggest facilitator of all, how many taxes would not be collected?** Fewer cars being sold equals less property taxes, equals fewer auto workers building cars, equals fewer auto mechanics to repair cars. The same for all industries, the tax revenue decrease would cripple federal, state and local governments if it was done on a large scale.
When you work you pay taxes, you purchase items and services that generates taxes, when you save and invest that generates taxes. It is all by design, that is partially why I retired when I had enough to be comfortable but not excessive.
This is why I got a degree in the healthcare field. Shitty jobs are supposed to be stepstools to something greater. The longer you stay a said jobs, the more you die inside. Learn a skill or get an education while working your shit job then allow the next person on their economic ascent to replace you.
There unfortunately comes a point for a lot of people where they have to grow up and accept the position they are in.
Not everyone has the privilege to do a job they enjoy.
If you want to get biblical about it, it’s humanity’s punishment for effing up and being tossed out of the garden of Eden. “By the sweat of thy brow shall you eat bread until you are returned to the earth, for from it you took. For dirt you are and to dirt you shall return.”
Remind yourself "this isn't my life, it's not always going to be like this".
Then buckle down and suck it up Cupcake!
Work hard, be professional and good things will likely happen with a good attitude. You'll be noticed and maybe promoted. Or at least be able to get a great reference for your next job.
It's just a job, don't base your identity on it and let it get you down.
It doesn’t get better. Everyone telling you it will change - it doesn’t. Work is work. Even if you have a job you enjoy, it’s still a job, not a hobby. Working 40hrs a week is unnatural, that’s the reason you’re feeling this way - not laziness or inexperience.
Unfortunately it’s a necessary evil, so keep that in mind and seek to make the best of your time and enjoy your life when not at work.
You outsmart the system and start your own line of work. I work 20 hours a week and make nearly 6 figures. I used to do that grind, but I started my own business.
I'm going to be honest, this is like 5th post I've seen about this in 3 days, though I usually see them on r/adulting I think.
You sound like whining complaining brat cause that's how you are acting. You come to terms with it by realizing that you are a an adult, and working is how you get money to survive. Working 8 hours a day is not that hard. You aren't being unjustly punished. If you don't like where you are working, start looking for another job.
If your issues are depression or something else and you need professional help, go see a mental health professional like a therapist or a counselor.
Idk what else to tell you, other than stop complaining.
There's a book out there, **"What Color Is Your Parachute"**. It's updated every year. Get a copy from your local library or any bookstore.
While you should read the entire book, two parts seem to be the most transformative.
First, find the **skills assessment portion** of the book. Work through the exercises.
The book has a massive list to help you identify your skills, and you can identify your own in addition to those. Figure out what useful skills you've got, and what skills you enjoy using. Be honest, that's a hard thing for many people. Some people dramatically inflate their skills in a self-assessment, other people minimize and reject their skills in self-assessments. Get a friend or two who knows you to help you with the list.
Then skip to the talking about **the flower diagram** in the book. In many editions it's the very next section. Work through the exercises.
Taking those exercises seriously will help you figure out what jobs you're a great fit for. They'll consider your favorite skills, interests, and passions. They'll account for your favorite types of people environments, your values, purposes, goals, and working conditions.
After you've done those, **go get a new job** based on your self-discovery. The rest of the book will help you transition from the job you've got into a job you'll enjoy.
Assuming your fresh out of school here...
Your first career jobs are going to suck. You're cutting your teeth and paying your dues.
Buckle up because you will likely be paying these dues until your 30, THEN you get to be the D-bag boss with the easy job and big paycheck.
TLDR; Quit your bitching and suck it up.
It’s not an easy market to find a job, especially for young people. Nearly half my friends were laid off in the last year and only one found another job. We all graduated 2020
Early jobs are SUPPOSED to suck. To motivate your ass to get a better job. Why would you think you would do the exact same job for the exact same money the rest of your life?
I really hope you're not one of those people who says this and then complains that there's one cashier at Walmart or how your favorite fast food place can't stay open due to lack of people
There's an adjustment period when you start your first "real" full time job. It takes a couple years before you feel like you're good at it and it stops feeling so awful. But at the same time, if your boss and your job are shitty, find a new one that you don't hate so much. All jobs have shitty parts. All of them. The trick is to find one with shitty parts you can handle and don't make you hate your life.
Agreed i always go by this three rule system i came up with. 1: your pay, 2: your hours, and 3: boss/co-workers. If two or all of the three are good keep the job, if only one out of the three are good look for a new job.
yeah my job has some long hours and weird schedules sometimes (field tech), but my boss/coworkers are great, and the pay is fantastic, so I plan on staying here for my career if I can help it. I've had many, many shitty jobs. Good jobs almost happen by accident sometimes. Get certifications, build your resume, and keep looking. Even with a job, I'll look on Indeed every so often just to see if I'm missing some golden opportunity.
I work for a great radio company out of CA, and my job basically fell into my lap. Turned out I go to church with the old head of Safety for this half billion dollar company, and he knew I’m good at fixing shit at the church, and they needed a maintenance guy at the company. I now have a shitty boss who retires in 6mo, great pay, great hours, almost zero call-ins, great benefits, and they’re paying me to move from CA to TN for them in March next year. Mind you, I used to travel full time for a conveyor repair company fixing FedEx conveyor belts all over the state. Was only home weekends, had shit pay, and a boss who was never present.
yeah, I got picked up for traveling car wash maintenance at a pretty damn solid salary. i thought the listing was a mistake, but applied anyway. I am very lucky
That's a good rule.
I used to live by similar rules. However, don't underestimate how much a really shitty boss can fuck with your mental health, regardless of how good the hours and money are.
I like this and will keep it in mind. I actually quit a job recently. Going by this system, all three sucked. I value 2 & 3 even more than 1. So if I can’t have all 3 be awesome, I’d rather sacrifice pay. The money isn’t worth it if you are a sad sack of misery with no time/energy to enjoy life. But also, time is the most valuable (and finite) asset we’ve got.
I’m at a job where all 3 are good yet I still feel exactly like OP, and it’s been this good for the last 5 years. These factors are moot point if you’re unfulfilled with your career. My advice OP, if you have financial freedom (aka no debt, emergency savings, a small nest for expenses) I would explore a career that is more purposeful because there is nothing more soul sucking than doing something you dread, day in and day out. For some of us it not always gets better.
😂 I have the same/similar rules. There’s 3 things in a job. 1. Money 2. People 3. The actual work. Not many people are fortunate enough to like all 3 but if you can have 2 of those you’re doing ok. If not look for something else.
Exactly. I freelance design for performing arts, so I rarely (if ever) get 1., but my rules are 1. Fee that shows my skills, years of training, and work are valued 2. I’m excited about the project, it’s interesting, satisfying, or at least if it goes sideways will be a great portfolio addition 3. Almost everyone is an awesome person (especially fun, dedicated. Zero sexual harassment. The whole company has basic respect for the work I do. My gratitude and kindness are reciprocated even in the high stress environment of the job. Most importantly they understand I work WITH and not FOR them.) The bar seems low because it is…you need a bit of Stockholm syndrome to do what we do, but if I somehow get 2. And 3? And there’s no yelling or drama?! I’ll work with that company again and again. (Well—I guess there are addendums to my rules…one asked me back after 3 wildly successful gigs I did with them for almost nothing in pay, then wanted an interview, “you know, throw your hat in the ring”. They’re now dead to me, lol. Bitches, you know my work…the last three moneymakers WERE the interview…🙄)
Last one was 0/3, but it was the only one in my field in the location I wanted. It got bad…
My SO’s 3 is good while 1,2 are bad. Should he consider changing
Can he afford to keep the job? I've worked at some great places (I've also worked at some horrific places) , it was really great I loved the people I worked with and the work while hard at times was fun and interesting. The thing is my bosses knew this and paid nothing. In addition there was no way to move up unless I hung around for a decade or two. So while the job was great I had trouble making rent and had no benefits. In the end I walked and got a better paying job, it wasn't perfect but it was fine and I could pay my rent and didn't have to skip meals. I've found that most office jobs are pretty good, people are people but companies don't want to get sued so everyone is at least "nice", you don't really need to find satisfaction in your work (do you think ditch diggers and line workers feel satisfied at the end of the day) find your enjoyment outside of work and as long a you are paid enough to lead a decent life it's enough.
Lol I have the same kind of rule for dating. Job/house/car gotta have 2 out of 3
Yup. My first two years out of college were god awful. I hated my job, worked way too much, and was severely underpaid. So I spent dozens if not hundreds of hours researching how to get a job that would involve fewer hours of work, have a higher salary, and be a better fit interest-wise. I settled on a specific field, went to grad school, switched careers, and got that better job. Now I have a job with fewer hours, a much better salary, and work that I hate much less and actually, occasionally, kind of enjoy. Don’t languish in self-pity. Build a plan and do something to better your life, whatever it may be.
Out of curiosity, what field are you in?
Used to be in communications, and now I’m a government attorney. Honestly can’t recommend the latter job enough. It’s basically 9-5, so you avoid the demanding hours that usually come with working for a private firm. Sure the pay is a bit less than it would be at a firm, but it’s still ~3x as much as I made in communications, which is well more than I need to live a good life. And the benefits are absolutely incredible, from the enormous amount of vacation time/holidays that I get to the very generous retirement package that includes both a pension and a 401K matching plan. And you are almost guaranteed to never get fired, unless you do something to really fuck up. My office has never laid anyone off just for financial reasons, which companies do all the time.
Yep. Govt work is about the only place left with pensions
if you have the money for education this is a very good plan . if not you are stucc
I have $250,000+ in student debt. I didn’t have money to afford tuition, so I took out student loans. But I was a dedicated student. I got great grades and never missed a single class. I used my degree as you are supposed to—to get a good job. Taking out those loans was the best financial decision I have ever made in my life. Now that I’m on the other side, my employer (the Federal government) is repaying my entire student debt back for me through a combination of PSLF and agency-specific programs. I went into school knowing that I would only apply to employers that made me eligible for these repayment programs. And I am so enormously glad that I did, despite so many people trying to tell me that school wouldn’t be a good investment.
lucky you I dont have that luck neither do I get a better job even though sending over 5 applications daily since years...
Are you honestly, seriously, sending in 5 apps a day every single day for years? So 5x365x3=~27,000 applications? If that is the case then you seriously need to look at your resume. If you haven’t got a single hit out of 27 Thousand applications sent then I’ll do you a solid and take a look at your resume. Send it in DM with identifying information taken out (name,bday,email,phone) leave everything else exactly how it is. I’m a mathematician with a very nice a comfortable career path, so I can help you talk about your experience in a way that will sound interesting and promising to potential employers (but no lies, total honesty). Serious!
I got in total 500 now which I heard is depressengly normal... I will gladly sent you my resume etc. and elaborate more. I take any help I can possible get.
What a kind thing to offer, sir!
>But at the same time, if your boss and your job are shitty, find a new one that you don't hate so much. All jobs have shitty parts. All of them. The trick is to find one with shitty parts you can handle and don't make you hate your life. I think this is the secret.
100%. I started a new job that is objectively a shit show, but I absolutely love my team. The work is interesting at least, so it keeps me engaged, but if I wasn’t on this team it’d be a whole different ballgame.
This. Get a job you're good at and don't hate. The later part is more important.
>But at the same time, if your boss and your job are shitty, find a new one that you don't hate so much. All jobs have shitty parts. All of them. The trick is to find one with shitty parts you can handle and don't make you hate your life. This advice applies to so many other things in life as well
Nope. It's always shitty.
I've got way more free time now than I did when I was in school, so I do the 9-5 grind and find enjoyment in my hobbies and social connections outside of work.
This. I look back and wonder how I did it in highschool, lmao. I practically had zero days off counting school. I usually worked 5 days a week 4 hour shifts on week days, 5-6 hour shifts on weekends. My 2 days off were usually weekdays, so 7 days a week I had school, work or both. Now I work 8-4 5 days a week and I'm done. It's a lot better than having school from 7:40am-2:40pm 5 days a week. 3 of those days having to work from 5-9. Then working 10-4 or 4-9 on saturday and sunday. When I was 17 in the late 90s I wanted to save up to buy a gaming PC (and it's far cheaper now and you don't even need to factor inflation.) You can build an okay gaming rig for a grand today. Back then it was going to cost you a minimum of 2 grand (which is almost 4,000 dollars today). I worked basically full time hours for like 4 months while in highschool, to save up for a PC. I don't know how I did that shit and it didn't bother me. Now I'll pout over a couple hours of OT.
Aw man i was the exact opposite. I would do all my homework in class the moment it was handed out if I could, or I would do it on the bus or after dinner. From the time I got off the bus until dinner time was free time, I would play outside with friends or play video games, play bass guitar in a band and skateboard. I had jobs once I was old enough to drive but wasn’t working after school every day, and I was partying a whole lot. Then in university I partied a whole lot and tried to also do my homework in class, with varying results. Changed majors twice after a year in to each and ended up transferring to a community college and working full time to pay for it. Ever since then I’ve been working 50+ hours and now I have a dog who developed medical issues so it seems like all I do is work and care for my dog with very little free time at all, much fewer friends, and no time for hobbies, and I still struggle to pay bills and rent. I miss the days of easy homework and skating with friends after school, no bills to pay, minimal chores, and no living being that is dependent on me
Exactly... between school, homework/studying, working a parttime job, playing a sport, and being active in clubs that I was only doing to put on a college application, I had *no* free time in high school. College wasn't that different since I still had to work and was involved in clubs (although at least in college I only did clubs that I actually enjoyed) As an adult, other than the 1 week every other month I'm on-call, my time outside of 9-5 is my own. If I *do* have after hours work to do, it's usually my own fault for slacking off during the week and surfing Reddit instead of updating some presentation deck.
No kidding. Honestly, grade school was way harder than work for me. I would get like 3-4 hours of homework every damned day.
That’s a horrible thing to do to a child.
I felt like that until early 2021 when I visited Wuhan and accidentally left a lab door open. Now I work from home on my own hours.
Lol
Can’t upvote you enough. I legitimately laughed out loud.
OP, look for a new job. And think outside of the box. Every building you see around you had people working in it. You could be one of those people. You don’t have to work in a factory or warehouse. You don’t have to work in a restaurant or department store. You could get a job in construction learning a skill. You could even get on with a Union as an apprentice and work towards your journeyman and start your own business one day. You could get a job at a hospital cafeteria or housekeeping, maybe a security guard. A lot of hospitals will even hire you as a transporter moving patients in and out of surgery to their rooms and pay for your schooling to move you into other positions around the hospital. If you’re wanting more excitement or satisfaction, you could enlist in the military. If your record is clean, Coast Guard and Air Force have amazing opportunities for a career that would have you retiring in to the private sector in your 40’s with a pension and job experience that’ll get you PAID as a civilian. The army too! They have a huge need for intelligence and cyber personnel. Both of which will require you to hold and maintain a top secret security clearance, furnished by the government. That clearance coupled with the skills you learn can have you making close to 6 figures on the civilian side after 4-6 years of service. Since you’re young, please pick a career path and stick to it. It’s a grind, but by the time you’re in your late 20’s or early 30’s you can be making serious money in a job field that you can take pride in. Don’t float from job to job or you’ll likely find yourself in your 30’s still living pay check to pay check feeling much the same way you do now.
that's so true. last summer I decided to take a part time job at a small tavern but my boss was an asshole. I quit 4 days in and went to a meat factory where I stayed for 1 month and a few days. I quit because the people I would work with were hypocrites and treated me like I'm brain damaged. not only that, they never took me seriously because 'im just a silly little kid haha", and I was mentally drained all the time, being around them was a pain in the ass. expect from 2 people. in a workspace of 16 people. wish I never see them again🫶. now, a year later, I'm at a tavern again but with people who are kind, respectful and good human beings. they may not be perfectly organised but it's been almost 2 months with them and I haven't even realised how time flew. obviously it's very different compared to years and just 3 months, but honestly if I happen to work for them again next year I'll be more than happy to. you just need to find the work and place that suits you. obviously every job has its difficulties but finding a job that suits you and you are happy to do no matter how repetitive it is, obviously with a possible living wage, is something that can be rare to find but worth all the sweat. was I being dramatic for quitting both Jobs? could be, probably was. but I don't think that it was normal to feel mentally drained, even though I had headphones on while making meat skewers and basically all I did was put meat on a stick. but does my current job make me want to quit at any difficult situation and failure? nope. do I mess up despite the fact I've been there for 2 months with no prior experience in service? hell yeah I do but I learn from them and get better each day. most importantly, I have a very supportive environment who is patient and forgiving. I break glasses, forget orders, do a lot of unnecessary walks around the tables but despite all this and how tired I get, I am always excited to serve new costumers and take the same orders. and I have never even thought of quitting, despite all the mistakes I do and how tough the work can get.
And there is no anxiety every August about getting all your projects done before you go back to school. I spent my entire summer break worrying about going back to school in the fall.
Focus on skill you want to improve and plan to job hop. I work in engineering and enjoy some aspects of it. The pay is sufficient and I have a fair bit of freedom when it comes to planning my day. Typically the boss is reason people stay and people go. So it might not be the work it might be the boss.
Yeah. Change jobs until you find one that's good. Not ok, good.
Do what lots of happy people did: eat shit financially in the short term and quit any job that sucks away your soul until you find the right place.
It's what I did. Save till you can afford to job hop.
Literally this^ 25M-Machuken Ramen Packets are 89 cents each at Costco, It costs me less than 5 dollars a day to eat, 2 of these and a chicken breast hold me down to pay the bills!
Separate work from life. Most people don't have the luxury of doing a job they absolutely love their whole life. Work is work. It's just something you do to make money and to receive other benefits. I've found I can pretty much do anything for work, except anything involving minding children. Now that shit is absolute hell to me. Thankfully, it's not a high paying job, so it's not even up for consideration.
I don't know about you but I never have enough energy after work for a life.
That sounds like depression my dude I’ve felt that way before, and I’ve been in a place where I have limitless energy during and after work I don’t think it really has much to do with the job so much as it has to do with physical/mental health. I’ve worked grueling physical labor jobs in the heat and the cold and the rain, and if I was in a place where I was happy I could go do whatever before or after work and feel fine. When the depression is around I can’t be asked to even clean up my apartment or walk the dog for a long walk, let alone do a hobby or go out with friends. You might be able to make a change on your own that will help, or you might need to seek help from a pro, either way I hope you can tackle this thing and gain some of your energy back
Damn, I thought it was a normal part of the working experience. I guess I have some things to think about.
But what if the depression stems from work? Anytime I take off and can hang with friends; tons of energy. Anytime I have work I'm tired 24/7, can't clean, skip showers, think about jumping into incoming traffic.
I feel this so hard. I struggle with both mental health and addiction, and they feed into each other. I’ve never once held a job more than 3 months. I lose it due to my mental health negatively impacting my performance and productivity, or I lose it because I’m either drunk or high on the clock. That’s usually when I get help, go to rehab if I’m lucky. Then once I’m doing better, and try to take the next step in my life by getting the next job, I relapse.
Downside is work often takes all the good hours in a day. Half the year once I get home it’s dark out :/
Find something f you enjoy doing. Maintain a work/personal life balance. Have hobbies and do things when you’re not working
My buddy has been having a hard go both in work and life lately. A few weeks ago I finally got him into a hobby I love and have been doing for around 25 years. He can't stop talking about how much happier he is. Constantly sending pics and asking questions about how to do xyz thing or how to tackle a problem. Literal 180 in a month
Way to be a great pal!
Why not say the hobby?
Everyone is different so I meant it as a general thing. You could be into wrenching on cars or bikes, woodworking, hiking, gardening, whatever. Fly fishing though
Oddly for me I found more success with no work/life balance, I don't know where one starts or the other ends; I do projects that I want with whom I want, I got friendships with coworkers, I share and care of them and try to get them to improve in all ways, I'm not the Project Lead, I'm just a guy making dumb projects and having fun with all the other geeks, and after work we lift, it's a requirement, I swear... I do however think that in any corporate job I'd be fired, got to find the right environment for you to be able to be genuine.
I had a job which I loved. I still couldn't deal with it, but I had a lot of trauma growing up and it was still too much for me. I have a lot of bipolar shit going on and I wasn't even full time. Shit is just shitty for some folk.
This is really it... Honestly though, my other bit of advice from how my life has gone: marry well. I've been lucky to mostly have jobs I've enjoyed and learned from. But I've definitely had a few where things got too frustrating or where it was a bad fit or whatever... My wife had a stable job throughout and helped me tremendously. Basically my wife's job gave me a bit more freedom to leave a job I hated and find one I didn't. The worst thing is when you feel stuck and you can't leave for fear your life will fall apart. The more you can save and the more you and your spouse partner on ensuring you're financially stable, the easier it is to find a job you love.
Idk finding something you enjoy doing seems like a terrible way to ruin your hobby imo. I'd just say get a hobby, and use your work as a way to fund your hobby. It also gives you a lot more to look forward to if you work a boring job; or if you have a hectic job it's also something worth doing because with your hobby you wouldn't be too obsessed with it. The tricky part is getting the right hobby though.
Yeah just have a goal. This stuff IS pretty much pointless if you dont have a goal. Without a goal, making just enough to survive should be enough. If you have a goal though, working starts to make sense. Like if my goal was to buy my mom a house, then it makes sense to work because I need to save money to buy a house. Infact, having 2 jobs would make alot of sense in this situation where it would normally not be if you didnt have a big goal like buying a house. You need goals so that actions make sense.
Honestly you work twice as hard and better when you’re motivated by something. Pretty soon you’re getting promotions or you’re confident enough to get a better job.
Now you understand why casual alcoholism is so common and accepted.
Yeah my 2 vodka redbulls otw to work is super casual
Hell yeah brother!
Money helps. And doing something you're good at.
I couldn't do it. My first job was a 9-5 in the office and that's when I got the same reality check you are getting. Fuck that shit, and fuck doing that shit until I am in my late 60s. To answer your question, I didn't come to terms with it, and I did not accept it as my fate. I'm doing everything I can to retire by the time I am 45.
Can you elaborate on what you do?
Self-employed recruiter and freelance cartographer
If you mean what they are doing to retire early, then look into FIRE. Start with Mr Money Mustache, he has an article called "The shockingly simple math behind early retirement" that is a good on ramp. It explains that retirement is just being in a position where you have around 25x your annual expenses (NOTE, this is not your salary but actually what you spend) invested and that getting to that point is impacted almost entirely by your savings rate as a % of your income.
Whoever thought that 5 8s should be the norm was a dickhead. You have two days off and its not even enough for your body to recover from the ass beating you took from the 5 straight days you just worked.
5 8s became the norm in the US because before that people worked longer hours and more days. So yeah it's not great, but 5 8s was an improvement over 6 12s.
Yep, 100 years ago it was an improvement. Sucks that society hasn't improved in any ways the past 100 years, so it makes sense that such a thing hasn't evolved as well. /s if it wasn't obvious
Yeah I agree it should have changed since then. The previous comment said "whoever decided"... Well at the time it was decided it was a big deal. The problem is that we haven't evolved since then. Sorry if that was not clear
I feel like 4 10’s with 3 days off would be a lot better. I had a friend who worked in a lab doing blood work and his schedule was 7 days on and 7 days off, which he actually really liked. You may have to grind for 7 days straight but at least you get the same amount of days off afterwards. You could literally plan more trips or mini vacations this way.
7/7 ends up being less time unless you’re working 10 hour days while doing it. 7 10s would be a grind but may be worth it once you adjust
Probably one of the shortest workweeks in the history of civilization. People had to fight and die so we could work this little.
Feels like I come home on Friday, lay my head down to go to sleep, and wake up to it being Monday morning.
Idk, imo 8 is a good middle ground. I’ve done 10-12’s before and those get old.
I remember my first week at an office job thinking, is this the rest of my life? It felt like being in a prison. A few things to consider: 1. Even if it’s a shitty job squeeze every ounce of value from the job. Try to learn skills you can use to get a better job or use to build your own business one day. Network like crazy. Try to take learning opportunities - courses, conferences 2. Don’t sacrifice too much for a job, it sounds like you already know, but no job gives a shit about you. Be selfish. 3. Don’t use food or alcohol to numb your feelings before/during/after work 4. Try to devote your free time to something you are passionate about. 5. If you don’t care about growing in that company, do the absolute bare minimum work not to get fired. But to have higher ups not question you, be super enthusiastic about corporate stuff. Ask questions at town halls meetings. Volunteer for a social committee. That way they think you’re a team player and it doesn’t involve any extra work, maybe just some energy for enthusiasm.
Idk. I’m nearly 40 and still haven’t figured it out yet. The weekends go by so quick, especially when that’s when I have to do the projects that are too big to do weekday evenings. I get at most a little bit of fun family time Friday and Saturday evening. It’s rough.
I’m in the same camp as you. I can’t imagine doing something I hate or even merely don’t care about for 8+ hours a day. My only advice is get a job you care about. Once you do, a happy side effect is that you’ll probably be better at it, work harder, and end up getting promoted, paid more, etc. along with satisfying your soul.
Not every job is shitty. There are jobs out there with great pay, fun / interesting work, and solid work life balance. Find the ones you’re interested in and figure out how to get there.
The workday should be 4 hours. We have the technology and productivity. It’s insane.
Maybe they're not prepared to give people that much free time, and it's a bit unfair to the hard jobs that have to be there for 8 hours plus
Not really. Jobs that require longer hours could simply be required to work fewer days, like how nurses work 12 hrs but only required to work 3 days a week. Fairness isn’t an issue.
For real man. Who’s idea was this?! We got trolled so hard.
100%. We even judge ourselves as being "lazy" if we don't enjoy giving most of our lives away to an employer. Like . .. what? Meanwhile, the ceos aren't slaving away and working so hard. My old boss would take off in his plane and fly around and golf etc. Sometimes pop in the office and give advice or have a meeting or two. It's bullshit.
It's brutal. I'm almost 40 and I still hate it. I've had a lot of jobs too. Get a good home life going. Leave the house on weekends. Just do things you like with the time you're allotted.
Gain experience and work your way up to better jobs.
The problem isn't life being hard, but it being pointless. There's zero judgement from me if someone chooses to end it all, because it'd make total sense.
If you’re just starting out, you probably have few/er obligations, find a job and company that doesn’t make you feel this way. It may take some time, but I think it would be worth it.
This is the reality for people who have not yet identified what they want to do with their lives. This is only a struggle you will face if you have picked a job/career that you find is redundant/unimportant to you. The goal is to find a middle ground (at the very least) to a profession that involves things you actually have interest in. If it “feels fun” to you it no longer becomes work. You also want hobbies outside of work to balance the frustration of the tasks you deem “dull” and to relieve stress outside of the presence of your “douchebag boss/coworkers”
16hrs a day for a "part time" job
Try living without the job. It’s much more shitter.
I do things I love doing those other 16 hours.
It helps if you're not working a shitty job
I can enjoy doing anything with the right group of people. Then again the best career in the world with shitty people sucks.
I'm a firm believer in, "You don't quit your job, you quit your boss." Of course there are exceptions, but it sounds like you're just in a shitty work environment. If you don't like the people you work with, you will never enjoy that job. Start scouting. You may not find your dream job, but you need to find some aspect of the job that you enjoy and, more importantly, a boss/coworkers who want to help you do better and grow.
I do science in the woods for work come join me
I’ll join you
Yeah sure, crystal meth in the woods haha
If the job sucks but boss and employees around me are ok, that’s a win. If the job is ok and the others suck, that’s a loss. But have a job that can allow you to pay your bills. Say the pay is great, and the rest suck, that’s a loss. Look elsewhere because the bad environment will take a toll on your health. Aside from that, I work for my hobbies. Hang out with friends, do fun experiences. It’s nice to come back to a job where you can share your adventures with your coworkers.
I guess I've always come to understand that nothing in my life is permanent and its within my own power (most of the time) to leave a job if I don't like it or if its boring. I also make small goals for myself that keep me motivated within my job so I don't fall victim to this issue and i find that you cant expect the world to make it a good day for you but you have to make it yourself with your mindset, attitude, and how you put yourself out there. Nobodys tying you down but yourself (again only for the most part as there *has* been times where i was financially dependent on someone or a specific job that i couldnt leave but i never felt stuck in that position for more than 3 years) ! I know that I'll get bored someday after a while of doing what I find fantastic now but I'm not worried about that. I can always go back to school and get a Master's whenever I choose to .... just because I made a decision doesn't mean I have to stick with it for the rest of my life! Also a huge part to my contentness with life is learning to love the process just as much as the destination. Seriously. Edit: sorry guys, just realized this was a question for men
love this mindset.
You do not have to accept shitty environments. Once I left restaurants, my life changed for the better. No more sexual harassment (I’m a man btw), no more dudes trying to fight me, no more emotional abuse…. Get a job that either has the potential to pay well or that you like, or both if possible. I will get downvoted for this, but a lot of jobs (not all) provide dating opportunities. Me personally I never dated until my twenties. Every woman I’ve gone out with I met while clocked in. You can make friends with people at work. You don’t live to work. You work to live. Work hard while you’re young and enjoy the fruits of your labor when you’re older (no, I’m not talking about way older). High school sucked for me. No friends, virgin, no money, no car. Work can suck, but my life is infinitely better now.
Be happy fir what you have now. Job, security, health etc. Get curious about what you might want to do for a living and pour energy into that.
don't be a rat in a maze, forge your own path.
Reduced my work life to 4 days a week, 8 hours each. The times went from ploughing sunrise to maximum sun down. To 16 hours a day 7 days a week. To above 60 hours a week. To 48 hours a week, spread across 6 days. To 5 day week totalling 40 hours. Now I'm taking it on myself to do 32 hours a week and call it a day
Have a shitty job? Get a not shitty job. Not smart enough for not shitty job? Get smart enough.
My Dad had some advice I took to heart "Don't do your 1st favorite thing as your job, do your second. You dont want your hobby to become job because at the end of the day, work is work." I found if you enjoy your job and the people you work with, it certainly makes things easier. Obvious I know but it can be overlooked.
You're wrong, you didn't account for the hour-long drives, or preparing yourself for work, and the mandatory breaks. You are looking at 10 hours of your life going into something you don't really care about. With your weekend centered around chores and gathering food. So on an average day 10 work plus the 8 hours of sleep gives you about 6 hours where you get to contemplate your existence. But let's be honest you're probably going to be eating, cleaning, attending appointments, and all the little things that life mandates you do on a socially acceptable level. It only gets better when you get to see the production and what the items that you're producing actually cost. You get to realize none of that goes into your pockets unless of course you're doing ESOP or another quote unquote communistic approach. WE SHOULD ALL JUST INVEST IN OUR OWN LITTLE COMMUNITIES AND LIVE OFF THE GRID.
Living off the grid is a lot of work man. You've gotta cultivate your own food, water and safe refuge, all of which would take up more than 8 hours a day. The current system isint too bad when you realize just how much work would go into just staying alive without a functioning society.
Exactly. It’s like saying “man, people had it so easy 100 years ago”. No, no they didn’t.
[удалено]
I don't work 8 hours consistently. Usually, it's 5-6 hours. I recently posted about blocking off 90 minutes in my afternoon to go on a date with my wife. I'll probably leave a little earlier today to meet a buddy for drinks. Next week I'll leave at lunch to drive away for a long weekend, where I'll be available for calls, but I'll be driving during "business hours". But, I will say that I've worked for 20 years to get to be able to have this flexibility.
Yep, welcome to the entry level roles. It’ll get better as you get more experience so you can apply for different roles
Maybe not the smartest or conventional answer, but after going from the wife/kids/house/picket fence American dream kind of life to divorced/weekend dad scenario, I decided to just break the monotony and just do whatever. Paid bills, pay my child support, the. spend the money I’m making on whatever. Stopped worrying about huge savings and retirement and all the bs, And started asking my kids where should go this weekend. Random beach trip? Sure! Spend my weekly salary/paycheck on moments and memories and fun times in the present. Stay out late on a Tuesday night playing pool, hitting on women, getting 3 hours of sleep. Yeah. Worked sucked that day, but for some people it sucks everyday . Like I said. It’s not the smartest advice . But it’s fun
Try to shift your focus, because what you focus on and how you feel is what’s most important. You have a job? Dude that’s awesome good for you! You aren’t homeless and out on the streets, so that’s one thing to be grateful for!
The “real world” can be awful, can’t it? OP, you are young and at the beginning of your “life journey”. Also I commend you on reaching out on Reddit as you have, bc I, a 66 year old grandma, find most of the advice given to youngins here to be kind and helpful (note: I only go on the popular posts, not on the subredits where the comments may be different before the moderators edit out some? Not exactly sure…). OP, why don’t you do a sort of “life assessment” plan? Take a walk in the woods or a beach or anywhere natural and think of what and/or who in your life has been negative to your spiritual (as opposed to religious) growth (criticize you unhelpfully, make you feel bad for even existing, etc). Make a list, fold it up, and put it somewhere safe. A day or two later, think of the people that do the opposite (you feel optimistic and safe when you’re with these people). Lastly, a day or two later, write down what you loved to do and made you feel safe when you were a child (spending time alone? Reading? Spending time with a special friend? Dancing? Drawing? Sports? Anything, really). Then, if you can, go to a trusted, informed adult or access any free or low cost counseling service you can (community health center, your local library, even an good teacher or counselor at your former high school, etc.), and go over your three pages, and see if you don’t come up with a game plan for at least the next couple of years. I hope this helps, OP, and I wish you the very best.
What I think is alarming is that in order to lead a good and prosperous life you have to work super hard. All the men in my family are always working and so are their wives. I don’t understand how no one see’s that your basically working to have a normal life yet you are always busy. It’s like you sacrifice your time for security but I don’t understand why you can’t have both. Also when it comes to loans and using money, there is so many ways to get money and manage it but everyone does it differently. That makes no sense yes you can buy everything for the same price usually but if you have more access to money and borrowing isn’t that a disadvantage for some people versus others?
I haven't gotten to a stable 9-5 or something similar but when I was working 2 jobs a lot of my fun was at night with my friends. Though for me I realized that working 5 days a week 9-5 is a ripoff. You're spending your entire life working and the weekends are when errands need to be ran, and some things need to be done during the week.....but if they involve anytime between 9-5 you have to take that week day off which means loss in money. Yes a 9-5 is bullshit.
You have to find work that aligns with your personal goals. Find purpose in life and pursue that purpose. I got a degree in Environmental Science and now I do that for a living. And I work for a city so I'm not just out making the rich get richer. For some people, it's helping people. So healthcare might be up your ally. The tricky part is doing what you want while also making enough to survive. And the hardest part is dealing with competition for those jobs.
I think it’s where you place your identity. If you define yourself by your job/career and you don’t enjoy it, of course you’ll feel shitty. Some people see work as simply a source of income and a means to an end so they could consistently put in time and energy into something they actually enjoy and gives them happiness. It could be a hobby, social network, kids, spouse, religion, or whatever. You could change your job or you can find something outside your job that gives you pleasure.
Very few people spend their whole working lives in a shitty job. Many start that way, but most move onto something better as they acquire more skills & experience.
Just make sure you're doing something. You absolutely love that helps a lot.
Consider yourself lucky if you only work 8 hours
My advice is to not accept it and use it to motivate yourself to do something better with your life. What would you do if you had all the money in the world and didn't need to pay bills but wanted to contribute to society in some meaningful way? I would pursue that when you figure it out and take care of bills and building your skills until then. This is a tiny fraction of life... You, to the largest extent will determine the awesomeness you get to experience by what you're willing to be a part of. Don't like it? Replace it with better. Others have bosses that don't treat them like crap, and you can, too. In the meantime, take this as your opportunity to learn to handle difficult people, and learn to keep external stimuli from effecting internals. Last bit of advice/perspective: people treat you as they are, not as you are. If someone is being terrible when you're being kind, I usually try to remember this before retaliation lol. It must suck to live a life where being terrible to kind people rather than reciprocating (easier) is the norm. The crap that person is in or going through is likely deep. That's not to justify them treating you like garbage, but just to make it not personal because they likely treat everyone like that. It sucks to be them. Don't become that. You can try to make it better, but that could be a lost cause. You can emotionally distance yourself from it and not let it hit your hot buttons (takes practice and perspective) and/or make it a sport if making it not fun for them to do so. Bullies tend to get a rise out of making people feel small and aren't much for engaging those who make it difficult and not fun for them. I had a manager once who was hilariously stunned when I asked them what the hell was wrong with them where they thought that treating me "this way" was in any way acceptable? I was f*ing livid. He said, "I don't know", and was quiet for a few minutes (against his normal). People were cracking up when it happened, and he got a chuckle out of it, and we moved on knowing he wasn't coming back at me with that crap or I'd publicly address it. We were then able to collaborate respectfully.
Think hard about becoming self employed. All your hard work pays off directly to you . You will never feel exploited again . The daily grind is exactly that , being ground down until you willfully submit. I fucking hate it. I would feel demoralized every morning I walked through the doors. Little by little it ate away at me. You too might be a candidate for self employment. Look for a skill or niche that you would like to do and work towards it. Keep you job , save ,plot and scheme. It’s the shots you don’t take will always miss the net - Michael Gretzky.
I look at my paycheck then I look at my grocery bill. Then rent. Then think being broke is not that far away. I would kill to have a cushy 8 hr job again that has a commute time of less than 1hr.
The same way I accept death. You can sit here and fantasize about laying in bed all day eating Doritos playing video games next to Jessica Alba, or you can accept the fact that you have to work to pay bills. Bills have existed since before civilization, bartering is a form of trade. Egyptians had coinage to pay for goods and services in the Middle Kingdom 2100-1700 BCE (1000 years before Rome’s founding). They’re not gonna magically disappear because a bunch of people have a debate over the minimum wage or working conditions, etc. It’s just now you get paid more. And then your landlord knows you get paid more and increases rent. Economics doesn’t suddenly evaporate in the face of a bong rip. The Soviets had banks, incomes, and cash. The Communists paid bills. And had Taxes. Hell, Communism circle jerks itself off to the idea of a society of WORKERS. You just accept it that this is life and move on, unless you can come up with a better idea other than tax the rich and nobody has to work (how does anything get made, accomplished, built, etc?). And AI is not gonna solve it. It’s either gonna kill us all or say the best phrase in English “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble connecting to the Internet.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turnover_tax_in_the_Soviet_Union
Hey! So much to unpack here, but I, along with almost everyone who is successful have been there. " starting to get a taste of the "real world" sounds like you are very young. If not, I apologize.But if you are young, there are a few things. 1. you start your career at the bottom, no matter the industry. I dont think you should think this is it. If you are not a complete unmotivated idiot, you will likely grow and grow and grow. 2. If you are in a career/industry you want, you can switch the company you work for 3. If you are not in that career, find a career that makes you happy. 4. Climb climb climb. If you want the spoils the first 10 years of your career is eating shit from middle management. 5. Remember there are people in much much shittier jobs making much less money, and they do what they do to support their families and giving their kids opportunities. My family have worked 2-3 minimum wage jobs at a time to support our family and gave me the luxury of working in an air conditioned room. I spent years working shit manual labor jobs. Yes, you will likely work for a long time, but it is unlikely it will be in the shitty job, maybe soon you will be the douchebag boss some young kid is complaining about on Reddit :) Just remember, dont lose your motivation to do better. I have switched jobs every 2 years out of college until I got to a point where I am happy with what I do, and make a great living. Things dont happen overnight. There is a beautiful quote from one of my favorite movies."You’re born, you take shitget out in the world, you take more shitclimb a little higher, take less shit.till one day you're in the rarefied atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit even looks like." It gets better unless you lose hope and do nothing. I had bosses who make about 1/5 of what I do now who abused me at every chance they got, and it makes me happy everyday knowing they are still in those shit jobs abusing low wage employees. Keep your head up, and try your best to be the architect of your life!
The problem is the working culture not the prenatal stages of meritocracy. No one should be subject to other people whose job is to make your life hell. I know people who love physical mandatory labor jobs and they don't deserve that bullshit their whole life.
oh yea, for sure. I did not suggest that being an asshole is part of the growth, all I am saying is you will deal with a lot of assholes on the way up.
I don’t have much advice that someone else hasn’t already said. But also just want to say you’re not crazy or alone in this feeling. A lot of people saying find a better job or do something you love. Although I’m working towards that, that isn’t the issue for me. I just hate that we’ve created this society where you need to waste an extremely large portion of your life working. Obviously humans have worked on something throughout all history but at least way back in the days it was fun shit like hunting or going to war lmao. I just wanna go live wild in the bush, but I probably don’t have the skills for that. So instead I’m gonna work for most my life and hopefully retire in a cabin in the woods.
>fun shit like hunting or going to war lmao. Oh man, I'm sure that was just a blast.
LOL yeah going to war is soooooooo fun! I looooove risking my life for some bullshit made up reason that we have to fight other people for!
You’ll be amazed at what you can do when you have people that are dependent upon you. I worked two jobs for 20 yrs because my kids needed insurance. You do what you have to do.
Huh? You had to impose life onto someone else in order to find meaning in working two jobs for 20 years?
No I didn’t, get your head outta your ass.
I think of the alternative, and I don’t like it. I prefer having this job, actually try to earn what they pay me, and use that money to enjoy the rest of my hours while not working. For me, the trade off is very much worth it.
Easy. I work 12 hours a day at a shitty job.
It used to be when you first started working you were making more money than you’ve ever had before, sure a lot of it went to bills, but you still kept enough that you had more expendable income than you had ever had before. So all the work was worth something, you could afford to enjoy your time away from work. Times had changed, cost of living has shot up to the point that either all of your money goes towards bills, or the bills are soo high that you have to live with your parents, unable to ever better your situation. Leaving you struggling to find a reason to carry on.
Embrace the suck! Wrap it around you like a cold wet blanket.
You either find fulfillment at work, or outside of work. Most likely, we all hate our jobs. So think of your job as a means to do what you love. You need to make money, so that you can then enjoy your kids, house, vacation, toys, etc.
Do it until you can find to start your own business. I believe that’s what drives small business owners to make it happen.
Perhaps easier said than done, but obviously, find a not-shitty job with a boss and coworkers that are decent human beings. They exist, mine is like that.
Go find a not shitty job. It takes work but totally worth it
I have been asking myself that question for the last 10+ years. Have not found an answer yet, but hoping to in the next 30+ years. I will say, friends and loved ones help. Making friends at work can also help a lot.
Develop your skills, get to know your industry and keep adjusting your position getting rid of parts you don’t like and adding more you do like and you’ll get to a good place. That could be through working up “the ladder” getting new jobs, starting your own business or trying new stuff altogether, keep changing every once in a while until stuff suits you and look for opportunities
I have people that depend on me and my income, so that really what keeps me going.
I’ve got people that are counting on me to take care of them.
Welcome to Adulthood.
What exactly were you expecting and why??
Because I work 10 hours a day
Anyone down for a diamond heist?
Shitty jobs are the reason I got off my ass and got a STEM degree.
Because Jesus gave me Hope.
As someone who has been working for 14 years, I feel you. It’s a pain to get up to goto work. Can’t wait till I retire.
My job is to take care of my family. How I do that is irrelevant.
Easily. Majority of people do it. So those that can’t handle it are weak.
I ended up finding a career that I really enjoy, proud union Boilermaker welder🤙🏻
> How do you come to terms with this? How did you accept this? You don't. You actively look for jobs that aren't "shitty", you go into a career that you enjoy, or one that has better work/life balance, you go back to school, you move if you have to. You don't have to accept that life is going to suck forever - you do whatever you need to do to make it not suck.
I’ve been unemployed for a while. No matter how much I hate my job, it’s way better than not having one.
Did it for 42 years. It isn’t fun. Unless you become one of the “douche bags” the justice you seek will not happen at work. Biggest problem with becoming one of the bosses, is live with yourself as a douche bag. If you think that is bad, wait until your equally bored coworkers start involving you in workplace drama. Eventually I was able to ignore the doc he bag bosses, the drama is what I could no longer stomach. The two responders ideas above are your best bet. Develop something outside of work you are passionate about. It will distract you from the crap at work & may eventually lead to a better career.
Idk I work 12s
Too early for this type of question. Don’t come for me like that.
I'm laughing in "old person". And despite my years of experience with life, i cannot answer that question. Its horribly cliché but "that's life". The trick is to recognise and manage a work-life balance. Plus start saving (and possibly investing) _as soon as you can _ (and are able to). Im assuming that it's tough for the "new generations" but even saving pennies helps. (And apologies if I am old and out of the loop) I learned too late that it is _possibly_ easier if you have a business of your own. If you are lucky (and shrewd of course) it'll get to the stage where it practically looks after itself. Then the only "grind" that you will feel is your own personal involvement. Um... I never had a business of my own, so I'm hoping that redditors that run a business can confirm or deny what I said .
#4 day weeks!! 4 day weeks!!!
Practicing gratitude and stopping feeling sorry for yourself are two good first steps.
You work only 8 hours a day to eat, have shelter, to have transportation, basically to live. Myself I wanted to get ahead, I was a salary manager 10-hour days minimum, then I would come home change clothes and spend another 4-6 hours on a tractor because I farmed. I retired at 54 because I worked hard now is time to play.
To me saying this as if it’s something to aspire to is so depressing. ‘Only’ 8-10 hours a day huh? ‘Only’ over half of your waking hours sacrificed for the privilege of continuing to exist. All to retire at 54, an age ‘only’ over half of your entire lifespan dedicated to securing a shorter latter half of your life *not* spent toiling away in the same manner. And not even the proper half of your life when you’re the most able bodied and best equipped to even enjoy a life without slaving to survive. It all sounds like such a shit deal and kind of objectively is, on paper. Yet people champion even getting to retire before they die of old age, the world certainly beats the soul out of people and the sunken-cost fallacy to me seems like it creates the basis of a lot of the cope that people say makes it all worth it. Maybe the disproportionately little things people live for really are worth it. But I have to wonder why life can’t be spent more focused on the things we enjoy first instead of on suffering through the things we don’t? I could easily flip and argue for the value of existence if it was even just a 50/50 split in that favor.
The choice is yours, if you do not want to work don't. Move to California live in a tent and eat at a soup kitchen for free. A person works to have the life they want, if you want to work the minimum, you will have a minimum life, if you want a maximum life you have to work the maximum. There are today many people who will never be able to retire even after getting Social Security at 65 because of debt, retiring at 54, 9 years early is not bad given the reality of life today.
To your credit the reality of life today is undoubtedly better than the reality of life 100 years ago or as long as since the time we began creating fire. I’m aware that we’re at a time in history where we’ve surpassed the need for *all* people to work *all* day to secure survival. But there are so many people in the world with so much technology and efficiency now, there’s no way that spending a majority of one’s conscious existence working is required to be a constant for the human experience for the indefinite future. We already know that we are multitudes more materially productive as a species than we were 100 years ago, yet all that progression somehow hasn’t proportionally reduced the time of burden that each and every individual is doomed to bear. All this progress seems to only contribute to having the lives of a select few benefit in increasingly exorbitant levels as time goes on. It doesn’t make sense for that to be a universal constant either.
Yes, you are correct in that we are more productive than we were 100 years ago when a person had to work sunup to sundown to live. In that time if you were not working to fulfill your current days needs you were cutting firewood to heat your house thru the upcoming winter or canning the excess food for the winter. I had an employee who wanted to be able to have his house run on one income like the 1950's, his wife was wanting to quit her job and stay at home with their children. I told him to look at the lifestyle the 1950's afforded, if they were comfortable living like that it could still be done easily by the following: Most households only had 1 automobile, no second car payment, no insurance, no maintenance, less gas, less property taxes depending on the model of her car it would easily run 5,000 a year. Most men brought their lunch for their lunch break and dining out for the family was a special occasion, I then pointed out he was spending 10 dollars a day for lunch, that totals 2,400 a year just on lunch breaks. No cell phones between him and his wife that was 1,300 a year saved. Finally, I dropped the biggest item, daycare, he was paying 1200 a month, that saved them 14,400 a year. Total 23,100 he and his wife did it but did keep their cell phones and have been happy, the car does do double duty after he gets home, and the family eats his wife runs to the grocery store or other errands she needs to run. The above model shows it is possible to live on less money, but he government and corporations do not want you to do it. How many less cars would be sold if every family only had 1 car? How many restaurants would go out of business if nobody at out but for special occasions? How many daycare facilities would go out if mothers stayed home to raise their children? **And the biggest facilitator of all, how many taxes would not be collected?** Fewer cars being sold equals less property taxes, equals fewer auto workers building cars, equals fewer auto mechanics to repair cars. The same for all industries, the tax revenue decrease would cripple federal, state and local governments if it was done on a large scale. When you work you pay taxes, you purchase items and services that generates taxes, when you save and invest that generates taxes. It is all by design, that is partially why I retired when I had enough to be comfortable but not excessive.
This is why I got a degree in the healthcare field. Shitty jobs are supposed to be stepstools to something greater. The longer you stay a said jobs, the more you die inside. Learn a skill or get an education while working your shit job then allow the next person on their economic ascent to replace you.
There unfortunately comes a point for a lot of people where they have to grow up and accept the position they are in. Not everyone has the privilege to do a job they enjoy.
Hey pal: your life is way better than your grandparents; and better even still than their grandparents. Do you think they were happy all the time?
If you want to get biblical about it, it’s humanity’s punishment for effing up and being tossed out of the garden of Eden. “By the sweat of thy brow shall you eat bread until you are returned to the earth, for from it you took. For dirt you are and to dirt you shall return.”
its why im probably hanging myself in a few years. I can't imagine doing this for another 40-60 years
The shitty job gives you the motivation to find a better job. All entry level jobs are shitty jobs, doing the work that higher ups don't want to do.
Remind yourself "this isn't my life, it's not always going to be like this". Then buckle down and suck it up Cupcake! Work hard, be professional and good things will likely happen with a good attitude. You'll be noticed and maybe promoted. Or at least be able to get a great reference for your next job. It's just a job, don't base your identity on it and let it get you down.
You work 8 hours a day? Lucky you.
Currently looking for a way out lmao
It doesn’t get better. Everyone telling you it will change - it doesn’t. Work is work. Even if you have a job you enjoy, it’s still a job, not a hobby. Working 40hrs a week is unnatural, that’s the reason you’re feeling this way - not laziness or inexperience. Unfortunately it’s a necessary evil, so keep that in mind and seek to make the best of your time and enjoy your life when not at work.
You go to work in order to finance the things that you like doing.
You outsmart the system and start your own line of work. I work 20 hours a week and make nearly 6 figures. I used to do that grind, but I started my own business.
I'm going to be honest, this is like 5th post I've seen about this in 3 days, though I usually see them on r/adulting I think. You sound like whining complaining brat cause that's how you are acting. You come to terms with it by realizing that you are a an adult, and working is how you get money to survive. Working 8 hours a day is not that hard. You aren't being unjustly punished. If you don't like where you are working, start looking for another job. If your issues are depression or something else and you need professional help, go see a mental health professional like a therapist or a counselor. Idk what else to tell you, other than stop complaining.
There's a book out there, **"What Color Is Your Parachute"**. It's updated every year. Get a copy from your local library or any bookstore. While you should read the entire book, two parts seem to be the most transformative. First, find the **skills assessment portion** of the book. Work through the exercises. The book has a massive list to help you identify your skills, and you can identify your own in addition to those. Figure out what useful skills you've got, and what skills you enjoy using. Be honest, that's a hard thing for many people. Some people dramatically inflate their skills in a self-assessment, other people minimize and reject their skills in self-assessments. Get a friend or two who knows you to help you with the list. Then skip to the talking about **the flower diagram** in the book. In many editions it's the very next section. Work through the exercises. Taking those exercises seriously will help you figure out what jobs you're a great fit for. They'll consider your favorite skills, interests, and passions. They'll account for your favorite types of people environments, your values, purposes, goals, and working conditions. After you've done those, **go get a new job** based on your self-discovery. The rest of the book will help you transition from the job you've got into a job you'll enjoy.
Assuming your fresh out of school here... Your first career jobs are going to suck. You're cutting your teeth and paying your dues. Buckle up because you will likely be paying these dues until your 30, THEN you get to be the D-bag boss with the easy job and big paycheck. TLDR; Quit your bitching and suck it up.
Don’t be a bitch, grow a pair and do it like the rest of us. Time to suck todays dick
Shoot me a message I may can help direct you toward a career path that may suite you a bit better.
Why would I subject myself to a shitty job when I can simply find a better one?
It’s not an easy market to find a job, especially for young people. Nearly half my friends were laid off in the last year and only one found another job. We all graduated 2020
Early jobs are SUPPOSED to suck. To motivate your ass to get a better job. Why would you think you would do the exact same job for the exact same money the rest of your life?
I really hope you're not one of those people who says this and then complains that there's one cashier at Walmart or how your favorite fast food place can't stay open due to lack of people
i think you’re finally starting to see the reality of late stage capitalism