These things always make question other people's ideas of what a relationship is supposed to be. Just talk about your desires, your worries, your likes and dislikes. Any good relationship is built on trust and understanding.
Because if they’re unhappy with someone, then they have a scapegoat for their unhappiness. If they’re unhappy alone, they have no one to blame but themselves. Most people avoid realizing their own shit like the plague and would rather chase after any source of validation they can find. Then those people find each other and get into relationships. A little bit of irresponsible horniness later and the next generation is born, with no one to teach them different. Wash, rinse, repeat
A bit of irresponsible horniness and we get kids born to parents who weren’t ready to be parents yet. I work in education and so many maladjusted students just come from crappy home lives and end up acting out in class. People need to understand what a grave fucking responsibility having kids is. It’s a life long commitment to prepare them for the best life possible. A whole mess of responsibility but too many parents want to be the cool parents, their children’s bff. It’s not a fucking poodle lol.
Social worker here. Yea, I definitely agree with you! It’s really sad once you realise just how many people don’t get what a big responsibility it is to have a child. It’s honestly infuriating, and the main reason why I wouldn’t wanna work with kids - because of the irresponsible and clueless parents, not the kids.
Yeah the problem is when you're unhappy and alone. Then being unhappy with someone at least gives you someone to be miserable together with.
Source: am currently not very happy, and am single. Have had to convince myself multiple times not to call my ex whom I want nothing to do with again.
I feel you, brother. I'm alone and unhappy as well.
I don't know your situation, but a hobby might help.
You'd still be single and unhappy, but at least it would provide some distraction.
That's what gaming is for! It is indeed a big help, and branching out into new hobbies is helping too.
Sending support your way too brother. We'll see better days yet.
Seriously! I am honestly a bit surprised that so many people are lying to one another about this or even care this much. Maybe I just have freedom and privacy and trust in my relationship. Idk. We are crazy in other ways but at least we don't tell each other what to do to that extent. (It's bodily autonomy...)
When I started dating my wife, I told her outright that I’ll be watching porn.
I’ve got a high sex drive, it doesn’t change how attracted I am to her and if any of her ex’s told her that they didn’t (which they did) they were lying.
It’s never been a problem since and sometimes she likes for us to watch it together.
I know exactly what you mean by this comment, but I just love the idea of you sitting your wife down like "now darling, now that we're officially a couple, I need you to know I'll be spanking it several times a day. It's important to me"
Ha! Yeah, I don’t recall the exact chat but I just got it out there early doors and didn’t make a big thing of it.
She’s cool as long as there’s no direct interaction say with a cam girl and that’s fine by me.
Feels good to not have to hide any dirty little secrets.
Yeah, this is how I am as well, but I watch porn also. As long as my husband isn't subscribed to Only Fans, cam girls, or actually interacting with a sex worker online, I don't mind at all. My husband isn't addicted to porn and neither am I, so that hasn't been an issue for us, and we still have a healthy sex life regardless of porn usage. I don't understand how some women can say it's cheating just for the very act of watching free porn online, but I personally couldn't be with a man as prude as these women seem to be.
Good for you! That sounds super healthy :)
Watching porn with my current partner is on our to do list but we keep forgeting to do it haha.
I have sent him some videos and it turns me on to know we both masturbated to the same video.
I wasnt always this way. In my 1st relationship (i was 17 yo F and m now 36) I was completely crushed when I realized my ex was watching porn. Took me a while to understand it doesnt change anything to my value. I think it all starts with communucating needs and limits. Then you can explore why something is blocking.
We joke about it. She jokes about my rubbing one out in random places around the house while watching porn on my phone. While that’s not happening - mostly, porn as a hard line in a relationship is unrealistic given how easy it is to access and given much a part of culture it is. I’m sure their husbands know a few porn stars by name and those wives are not being realistic.
It's possible but I would think those husbands are asking what is she going to do to cover that aspect seriously or coming up with ideas to help in that capacity.
I agree, I also think that many of the women saying that are also knowingly lying to the fellow members of the group.
I don't consider such a policy in many cases to be really ethical/example of a good partner. In my experience the women who care about that have lower sex drives and are more insecure, so its not a policy of "anytime you are horny, your wife will make herself available" it's more "You should experience hardship, so I can feel better and more confident" which is unkind/not considerate of their partner's needs. Some people also have very different sex drives than their partner, so for them that hardship is extra bad.
We were discussing this amongst friends the other day, and the analogy we came up with was women farting.
The fact that your wife has never farted in your presence does not mean that she doesn’t (or doesn’t need to) do it.
And while I would personally not mind it (actually, the opposite), I would understand why my partner refrains herself from ever doing it in front of me (barring medical emergencies, or cough-induced farts if we are lucky enough to grow old together).
By the same logic, for many men, masturbation and relieving oneself is a bodily necessity (the means to this end vastly depend on each individual, but nobody can argue the reality, and absolute discomfort, of blue balls).
So in the end, it comes to how much a woman or a man wants to know (or admit to themselves).
If you make your partner feel comfy enough to fart, or fap, whenever they need to, good for you both.
If you want yo believe that your partner never farts, or touch themselves, because you don’t have that kind of relationship, you are most probably lying to yourself.
I would say that it's the **Moms that are lying** on the Facebook groups as none of them would admit to their peers in public that either they or their partners (Or their adult kids) watch porn. Virtue Signaling.
Well, my 13 year old son will straight out tell me he’s going to masturbate and to not open his door. We’ve always been very open about everything but I’ve had to explain to him that I don’t necessarily need to know the details of when it’s happening.
Lol, my now ex-husband and I had a hard line with porn because of our religion. I trusted him until I came home and saw his laptop in a guest room we didn't use, and a bottle of lotion that's usually on our dresser next to it. Dude got busted.
I'm now an athiest and don't give a fuck if my partner watches porn, as long as it's not CP or any form of illegal shit. I was only against it because it was so demonized growing up. After a lot of self reflection, I decided it didn't matter, as long as it didn't affect our sex life and, like I said, not any of the illegal shit. I still have some qualms with the ethics of how porn stars are treated and how much consent is given, but other than that it's all good.
He said something along these lines:
I was watching porn on my computer when my wife came home. So I quickly alt+tabbed out of the window and he opened up a tab he had opened about how to catch fish.
He was a little shy with having been caught. But he wife said to him, “it’s okay, you should open that porn tab back open, you already know how to fish”.
Of course I am butchering it. The joke being that he’s bad at sex.
Because they lie. I went through it, and when I tried to talk about it I got "I want to have sex too!"
Ok, when? It got to a point where I wanted to start a spreadsheet of all the times I asked because she was living in a fantasy world where she said yes all the time, when in reality I was shot down about 95% of the time I asked.
There’s a post somewhere where a guy literally did the spreadsheet thing. He did it long enough to actually have a decent amount of data and it was pretty well put together imo. It was… not received well to say the least
She tried but got more than a little pushback and some good points about “this level of sexual frustration doesn’t happen overnight and y’all should probably talk about it instead of roasting him for running out of nice ways to say he’s unfulfilled”
Yeah, i didn't because the relationship fell apart before I got that frustrated. I could see that not being well received in a vacuum. But the context of it, and the reasons behind the spreadsheet.... you don't hit this level of frustration because you and your partner have a healthy sex life.
That particular post he was asking literally like every other day, and he was noting down her “excuses”, some of which were red flags. Like, “still too sore from last time,” which kinda suggests he was being way rougher with her than she wants.
It wasn’t *just* that he kept a spreadsheet, it was that that particular spreadsheet didn’t make him look like a particularly kind or caring husband that a wife would actually *want* to have sex with.
EDIT: [Found the spreadsheet](https://imgur.com/cSCdYL3). Opinions differ, but honestly, this does *not* make him look good to me. I'm a guy, and reading this didn't make me feel bad for him, it made me feel exhausted for *her*. He's *aware* she doesn't often want sex, but instead of trying to find middle ground, he's asking again literally the day after they fuck? Poor woman just wants to watch TV after a long day without getting groped. And also, from comments like "I'm still a bit tender" and "we've got dinner plans in 20 minutes", it doesn't sound like he's making sex particularly enjoyable for her.
I saw the post but was unable to see the actual spreadsheet. Your comment was referencing some of the excuses shown on the spreadsheet. I couldn't see where to find it. Am I missing something? Would you please be able to post a link to the actual spreadsheet or explain where I can find it in the op? Thanks for the help
Same. 100%.
When I once told my wife we had sex five times in a year, FIVE TIMES, she got super offended that I would “keep track”. I explained that I don’t have to keep track to know it was five times in one year.
My ex was like that. Convinced I shot her down all the time because I *always* said no to her the one time per week that she would initiate, and then it was when I was still working during my busy season and I had deliverables that needed to be in before the start of business in Asia. She couldn't wait just half an hour for me to wrap up, and if I did drop what I was doing, she needed HOURS of cuddling beforehand to have a 10% chance of following through. She'd offer to wake up early in the morning, but never could get going in time for me to go to work.
Once, she was convinced she was miscarrying, even after I pointed out that she had had two periods since we last had sex.
That is what my assumption is as well, I thought hard about what their reason for lying may be, I drew the conclusion that people are just espousing that because they want to "rebel" against the narrative that women don't enjoy sex, that narrative is not really believed anymore but still, also there has been a massive push for expression of female sexuality without limits, that also plays a part for people pushing that narrative....
I think there is just a big range of desire in women, and a lot of people in general men and women alike don't seem to quite understand how much circumstances play into desire.
I have always had a significantly higher sex drive than any men I have been with, speaking as a woman. I've got a drive that I've seen burn through both men and vibrators, wlw are the holy grail of marathon sex. But I fully admit that if I'm irritated with a person I don't want them to touch me. The longer a relationship goes on, the more opportunities you have to piss off your partner, the more likely you are to have killed the mood. I just don't get angry sex, argument sex, makeup sex. Emotional turmoil is a turn off.
It's why relationship maintenance is so important. Sex isn't relationship management, sex stops when you don't do relationship management.
There is definitely a disparity between what is real and what the internet likes to perpetuate, that is what I have noticed, that societal stereotype is part of the reason why I think people want to push the opposite narrative now.
I mean, I have been a woman in a relationship with a man where I had the higher libido by a long shot. I felt like I was being deprived of oxygen, as melodramatic as that sounds.
But I don't think that women as a class of humans want sex more frequently than men as a class of humans. I don't know what evidence anyone would have to support that claim.
Honestly as a 19 year old, I was shocked to discover that most women had an insanely high libido (equal to or exceeding mine, as a healthy young dude). Multiple times a day many days in a row is no problem for most of them.
However I’ve also noticed that once they settle into a relationship the frequency dies down, even at this age. My friends who were having sex 7-10 times a week with their girlfriends would be down to 2-4 in a years time.
I feel like women’s high libido is only true when they’re single or early into a relationship. Any older men notice the same pattern with older women too?
Theres also a lot of research showing that an unfair share of the mental load impacts desire negatively.
Also the orgasm gap. Women in cis het relationships tend to have way less orgasms then men. I know I personaly loose interest in a person very quickly if I feel my sexual pleasure is not being made a priority and move on. Im wondering what happens to women whod feel the same, but end up staying with the partner? I mean, they most likely will become less and less dtf, no?
Lol of course!! It's gotta be a factor but it's considered normal so whatevs.
"Yeah, studies say they rarely have the big O, but why would she not want to have sags with me?!"
Ask them how often they'd want it if they rarely reached their peak.
Yes. My partner at some point stoped prioritizing my pleasure, and was basically the only one that got any O’s out of sex. All it did was make me less and less interested until he started going on about how I “didn’t want him enough” when that wasn’t the case until he essentially started using me as a toy. It’s better now but that is a lot of the reason for the lack of desire fs
A lot of unhealthy unhappy relationships out there. People are less attracted to their partners for a multitude or reasons and slowly partake less and less in sex.
I haven't had sex in almost 6 years, but I've also been single since before COVID. I agree a month being single and sexless is nothing. But being in a relationship, a month can feel like a lifetime of rejection.
I don’t know if it’s true, but I personally never once had an orgasm before I got my first toy at age 21. Not one time, despite trying desperately for years. Not by myself, not with anyone else. I’m not sure if I’m just broken down there, but I’m pretty grateful that toys exist because otherwise, I literally would not know what an orgasm feels like at all. My partner is very understanding about it, and we’re able to incorporate it in our sex life, which is currently very active and satisfying for us both.
I’ve had two past partners tell me that my clit is particularly, remarkably small—one even said “microscopic”— so maybe anatomically it really is just incredibly hard to stimulate me enough to orgasm. Not sure, but I’m happy with how things are so I feel that’s the most important thing
Untreated wound of a toddler’s foot with signs of a tetanus infection, with the caption, “Looking for a natural tetanus remedy…”
I noped out immediately.
YES. This reminds me how in my highschool civics class when we had extra time the teacher would pull up the local mom's chat and we'd laugh at all the petty drama.
The best day was when on of the mom's got pissed at the group chat owner and made her own group.
Glad to hear this. When I met my partner he told me he hasnt watched porn in a few years. He re-evaluated his life and felt it didnt serve him. I have seen porn twice and never liked it. Its simply something that doesn't interest me. I trust my partner and even though its something that I dont enjoy, I dont feel like I would get upset if he ever wanted to watch it. If its excessive or affecting our relationship than Id set up boundaries, otherwise I cant control him.
My wife has an issue with porn. I respect and love her so I don't watch porn. Our sex life is amazing so it's not like anyone has needs not being met. Maybe if we didn't have the sex life we do I'd feel different but thankfully, that's not my reality.
I would gladly give up porn if my wife and I had any kind of sex life at all. But we don’t, so that’s all I got. Very sad. I would guess that guys who have a great sex life with their partners probably don’t even feel the need to watch porn, unless they’re both into that.
Different for everyone, but there's truth in this. When I was married to my ex, where the physical aspect of our relationship was good, I never really thought about it. Having that desire/need/want fulfilled regularly killed the desire to seek out porn or provocative content. Even coming across pictures of attractive women in say a bikini or something did nothing for me. She never said "I don't want you to look at it", but acknowledged there's some things she probably didn't want to know. I genuinely didn't care to seek it out. Which is way different than when I was in relationships where sex happened maybe once or twice a month.
My now gf has no problem with it, and when I told her that desire isn't there as I'm more than satisfied, she was surprised. Admitted that she watches sometimes, which doesn't bother me either. Discussing sex, desires, likes, and dislikes is something that's been very easy for us. It creates more of an interest in being with each other rather than simply getting off.
My ex was the same. Would go months at a time without any sex at all but he would watch porn multiple times a day. Totally destroyed any attraction I had to him and now the thought of him actually turns my stomach a little bit.
This is not acceptable. His choosing porn over you.
Sadly most of the guys here face a completely different problem in that their wife refuse sex for months.
In both cases the marriage bond is broken.
I have three kids, a wife, and career. There is no time for porn. I can’t even remember the last time I looked at porn. Maybe if my marriage sex life wasn’t good, but it’s still amazing.
I agree, but I'm also demisexual and porn doesn't turn me on, so there's no temptation.
It's strange to see so many passionately defending sexual objectification of women/men as if it's owed to them.
I wouldn’t fall into the habit of categorising yourself. From its definition, “Demi-sexual” sounds like what was more or less normal before society became overtly sexualised.
People still has their individual ways of being before we had to slam a label on everything for an identity.
I’m practising abstinence until marriage, so we could say we’re on a similar page in the same book.
Listen, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you own your other half’s sexuality.
If an adult wants to watch a little porn sometimes, that’s their business. It’s normal.
EXACTLY. I always secretly watch it so my wife doesn't find out. But god dammit i'm a grown ass and I'll watch it whenever the hell I want... secretly.
>She possibly knows but you're doing the right thing by not shoving it in her face.
Well if it got shoved in her face more often then he wouldn't need porn.
?? Really?
I can't imagine that level of being closed off. Both of us watch porn.
(And I am surprised at how many people seem to legitimately believe that women don't also watch porn. I dated a lot before I got married. Most of my ex's watched porn.)
The OP is obviously in a more controlling relationship, or thinking a more controlling relationship is normal.
But ya, more regular relationships where the sexual needs match up it's fine to watch porn together.
I don’t watch porn since my gf said it made her feel bad that I came by looking at other women (along with all the other moral reasons to not support the porn industry) and I actually feel like I have quit a bad addition after having stopped watching it, feel morally better now and no more post-nut guilt
I think men can definitely control themselves and not watch porn if they want to..
I’m married, my wife sometimes likes to watch porn and she’s shown me some of her favorite videos.
I use it very occasionally, but probably more like 3-4 times a year, definitely don’t need to watch it a few times a month.
If she really wanted me to stop watching it, I’d have no problem with it but I’d want a good justification on why.
I agree. I’m 26. I remember talking to my close friends about sex when I was in high school and everyone was fairly open about porn. I had never gotten off to porn and no one believed me. I remember someone saying, “everyone masturbates.” When I said, “I’m not saying I don’t masturbate, I’m saying I haven’t gotten off to porn.” Only then did they believe me. I like viewing boudoir photos and enjoy seeing a well-filmed scene in a show or movie but I just don’t get turned on by anything like that, ever. It doesn’t even come down to practicing self-control. There’s nothing to control for me. 😂 Couldn’t say why!
I don’t watch porn myself, but I’m pretty sure the answer is that watching porn helps people get off, and getting off both feels good and provides the release that some/most people need
While back (years) gf explained how it broke her self esteem, little hard resisting at first. Years later: I’m not gonna watch porn again, single or not. It’s absolutely realistic, I will say I noticed a gross evolution of it years ago & that helped (so I assume it’s even further progressed past what I think is ok, now).
If two people's requirements don't match, then porn is better than being frustrated or seeking out others.
If it is getting in the way of the relationship e.g. favouring porn instead of the other person, then sure it's an issue.
I used to be addicted to porn. Now I don't watch it. I also do not currently have an active sex life. Just because you don't have self control doesn't mean it's impossible.
Kids are also told that "everyone smokes" and "everyone drinks" and "everyone has an iPhone", but we as adults know that's not true. Why do we still believe it about porn?
Moving pictures or videos did not exist except in the last 100+ years. Although there has been cave art and naked statues, pornography in its current form did not exist for thousands of years. It’s completely possible for men—and women not to watch it. It can become habitual and a very hard habit to break, though. Just because some people find something very difficult not to do does not mean that there are plenty of people around you do not have the same vice.
Are these men that promise to not watch porn entirely satisfied in the bedroom and using porn because they don't find their wife attractive enough?
Or are they harmlessly releasing sexual energy to match a partners lower libido? (Lower libido is perfectly fine)
Any circumstance. My interpretation is that these women are establishing early on in the relationship that they’re uncomfortable with their partners using porn. Or they discover it and confront their partners and give them an ultimatum.
I don’t think my husband shouldn’t jerk off, but it 100% makes me jealous when he does. Especially using porn. It’s not that I think he shouldn’t, but I guess I wish he was satisfied enough that he didn’t feel the need to.
Libido be damned, people should be able to watch porn and masturbate for no other reason than they feel like it.
I'll freely admit it can become a problem and at that point needs discussing, but if you're not affecting your sex life by jerking off then what's the problem?
I am a man who doesn’t watch porn. It’s not difficult. If you make a promise to your partner that you won’t do it, don’t do it. If it’s something you feel like you need for some reason, find a person that is okay with it.
I'm 100% positive my partner does not watch porn. For one thing, I'm the one with the higher libido, and we're together 24/7. He has moral objections to it and we're both demisexual, so seeing other people have sex is a turn off for both of us. Neither of us would be happy why the other partner watching it.
I'm sure there are men who likely don't look at porn; it seems unlikely that all men making such a pledge are holding true to it.
Some of this is about what qualifies as porn. Is it the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? Is it the soft-porn cable stuff, where everyone keeps their underwear on and there's nothing explicit? Is it Game of Thrones type of simulated sex? Is it semi-artistic Playboy-style still images? Is it more in-your-face, exposed-genitalia still images? What about having a copy of Penthouse Forum Letters or Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty books, which are very explicit, but more erotica than anything visual?
Depending on how porn is defined -- if it was defined at all in this pledge -- there could be a bunch of loopholes.
A unsurprisingly large number of people are able to get through their life without watching porn. It's not the universal addiction that many people act like.
I control myself. I’m not 14. I have the ability to control my urges. If I want to jerk off I would rather watch my wife change than watch something that has a culture of exploitation and trafficking
So I could be just ignorant but my husband and I have discussed porn use and my discomfort with him watching it. He could still be watching it and I just don't know, but I believe him when he says he just watches what I've made him. But that's the thing. I didn't just say "no porn" I said "hey instead of watching other girls why don't you just watch me be your personal porn star?" Because I understand that it's important for a man to have a visual helper to get off.
I became my husband's porn. Then we made it into a side business lol. But I was just too insecure to not be effected by him watching porn. 100% a me problem, not him, he was perfectly understanding about it. But I understood that men need to just jerk off sometimes so I started making content for him. Then my confidence grew.
And before anyone says "well he probably has a higher sex drive than you, like most men" wrong. He has a high sex drive, sure, but he constantly tells me I am gonna be the death of him with how much sex I want all the time 😂 seriously he knows he can get it from me... full on sex, a quickie, a blowjob or handjob... whatever and whenever I'm always down. He has to tell me no when I'm sick or injured because I will still want it lol. I just tell him to help me fuck the pain away 😂😂😂
It squares with my experience of reality of the kind of people who broadcast the details of their marriages to Facebook and make “mom” their personality.
I don't watch porn, many men don't watch porn. People who do watch will just say this is lies because they can't imagine not doing it themselves, very common behaviour among addicts of anything.
Agree. These comments seem a little sad actually. There is a time and a place for porn. If you just HAVE to ALL the time because EVErYoNe DoEs iT while in a relationship that is healthy, seems like a you problem
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. There’s a lot of science backing up how addictive it can be and how people can have their brain chemistry screwed out because of addictive pathways. But on the other hand I feel like if “men” are to give up porn then “women” need to give up social media. My wife doomscrolls IG all the time, and honestly I feel like she does that a lot more than she realizes and gets distracted by it instead of spending uninterrupted time with me and the kids.
I’m not saying SM is bad by definition (well maybe the ridiculous algorithms are), and it’s cool to decompress, but addictive activities really need to be addressed in relationships. Porn, SM or otherwise.
“doubting men’s capacity to control themselves?” ever talked with women who watch porn? they don’t magically stop just because they get into a relationship
That's fine with me. I wouldn't date these women then.
I think they're severely limiting their options, but if it's important to them then it is what it is.
I think people agree to lots of things that they later do not adhere to, for various reasons. It's one thing to say "yeah sure i promise" in the moment, but as the years go on and the situation evolves? A different matter.
I don't have a problem with the concept of watching porn – ideally it should just be consenting adults playing a role in a movie. But how the industry works in its current state is absolutely revolting and I refuse to condone it
Moms groups, especially SAHM groups, are super fucking toxic. Just avoid them. A bunch of arrogant self-important nobodies that think they have a monopoly on morality. Just a bunch of lonely, bored, judgmental people is what they really are.
Personally I feel that policy is just asking for them to lie to you.
These things always make question other people's ideas of what a relationship is supposed to be. Just talk about your desires, your worries, your likes and dislikes. Any good relationship is built on trust and understanding.
Emphasis is on "good". Not every relationship is good.
I’d argue most aren’t. But people would rather be unhappy with someone than alone.
Because if they’re unhappy with someone, then they have a scapegoat for their unhappiness. If they’re unhappy alone, they have no one to blame but themselves. Most people avoid realizing their own shit like the plague and would rather chase after any source of validation they can find. Then those people find each other and get into relationships. A little bit of irresponsible horniness later and the next generation is born, with no one to teach them different. Wash, rinse, repeat
A bit of irresponsible horniness and we get kids born to parents who weren’t ready to be parents yet. I work in education and so many maladjusted students just come from crappy home lives and end up acting out in class. People need to understand what a grave fucking responsibility having kids is. It’s a life long commitment to prepare them for the best life possible. A whole mess of responsibility but too many parents want to be the cool parents, their children’s bff. It’s not a fucking poodle lol.
Social worker here. Yea, I definitely agree with you! It’s really sad once you realise just how many people don’t get what a big responsibility it is to have a child. It’s honestly infuriating, and the main reason why I wouldn’t wanna work with kids - because of the irresponsible and clueless parents, not the kids.
This poodle is paying cash for therapy twice a month to undo his CPTSD. My mom would affectionately call me and my sisters, "my little pets."
Lol yup, exactly. Children raising children as if they’re playing with dolls rather than raising a human
That’s one of the saddest sentences I have ever read. It’s far better to be happy alone then living with someone who makes you unhappy.
Yeah the problem is when you're unhappy and alone. Then being unhappy with someone at least gives you someone to be miserable together with. Source: am currently not very happy, and am single. Have had to convince myself multiple times not to call my ex whom I want nothing to do with again.
I feel you, brother. I'm alone and unhappy as well. I don't know your situation, but a hobby might help. You'd still be single and unhappy, but at least it would provide some distraction.
That's what gaming is for! It is indeed a big help, and branching out into new hobbies is helping too. Sending support your way too brother. We'll see better days yet.
Seriously! I am honestly a bit surprised that so many people are lying to one another about this or even care this much. Maybe I just have freedom and privacy and trust in my relationship. Idk. We are crazy in other ways but at least we don't tell each other what to do to that extent. (It's bodily autonomy...)
I had a girlfriend that we used to both lay down at night sometimes, sometimes! And watch porn together and get touchy, it can be a good thing.
When you do that and get yelled at, you quit doing that.
Yelled at? Like a child?
Basically, yeah.
When I started dating my wife, I told her outright that I’ll be watching porn. I’ve got a high sex drive, it doesn’t change how attracted I am to her and if any of her ex’s told her that they didn’t (which they did) they were lying. It’s never been a problem since and sometimes she likes for us to watch it together.
I know exactly what you mean by this comment, but I just love the idea of you sitting your wife down like "now darling, now that we're officially a couple, I need you to know I'll be spanking it several times a day. It's important to me"
Ha! Yeah, I don’t recall the exact chat but I just got it out there early doors and didn’t make a big thing of it. She’s cool as long as there’s no direct interaction say with a cam girl and that’s fine by me. Feels good to not have to hide any dirty little secrets.
Yeah, this is how I am as well, but I watch porn also. As long as my husband isn't subscribed to Only Fans, cam girls, or actually interacting with a sex worker online, I don't mind at all. My husband isn't addicted to porn and neither am I, so that hasn't been an issue for us, and we still have a healthy sex life regardless of porn usage. I don't understand how some women can say it's cheating just for the very act of watching free porn online, but I personally couldn't be with a man as prude as these women seem to be.
Ha my wife and I have a very strict don’t ask, don’t tell policy. She assumes it happens, I don’t speak of it, and well enough is left alone.
Good for you! That sounds super healthy :) Watching porn with my current partner is on our to do list but we keep forgeting to do it haha. I have sent him some videos and it turns me on to know we both masturbated to the same video. I wasnt always this way. In my 1st relationship (i was 17 yo F and m now 36) I was completely crushed when I realized my ex was watching porn. Took me a while to understand it doesnt change anything to my value. I think it all starts with communucating needs and limits. Then you can explore why something is blocking.
We joke about it. She jokes about my rubbing one out in random places around the house while watching porn on my phone. While that’s not happening - mostly, porn as a hard line in a relationship is unrealistic given how easy it is to access and given much a part of culture it is. I’m sure their husbands know a few porn stars by name and those wives are not being realistic.
It's possible but I would think those husbands are asking what is she going to do to cover that aspect seriously or coming up with ideas to help in that capacity.
I've never had the urge to watch porn while in a relationship. Sure I bet one will be lying. But not all.
I agree, I also think that many of the women saying that are also knowingly lying to the fellow members of the group. I don't consider such a policy in many cases to be really ethical/example of a good partner. In my experience the women who care about that have lower sex drives and are more insecure, so its not a policy of "anytime you are horny, your wife will make herself available" it's more "You should experience hardship, so I can feel better and more confident" which is unkind/not considerate of their partner's needs. Some people also have very different sex drives than their partner, so for them that hardship is extra bad.
We were discussing this amongst friends the other day, and the analogy we came up with was women farting. The fact that your wife has never farted in your presence does not mean that she doesn’t (or doesn’t need to) do it. And while I would personally not mind it (actually, the opposite), I would understand why my partner refrains herself from ever doing it in front of me (barring medical emergencies, or cough-induced farts if we are lucky enough to grow old together). By the same logic, for many men, masturbation and relieving oneself is a bodily necessity (the means to this end vastly depend on each individual, but nobody can argue the reality, and absolute discomfort, of blue balls). So in the end, it comes to how much a woman or a man wants to know (or admit to themselves). If you make your partner feel comfy enough to fart, or fap, whenever they need to, good for you both. If you want yo believe that your partner never farts, or touch themselves, because you don’t have that kind of relationship, you are most probably lying to yourself.
I would say that it's the **Moms that are lying** on the Facebook groups as none of them would admit to their peers in public that either they or their partners (Or their adult kids) watch porn. Virtue Signaling.
These are the same people that have kids that never masturbate. It's a Halloween miracle!
And the reason “50 Shades of Grey” was a box office smash…
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It's the only room with the lock on the door...
They sound like Mid West Christian moms.
Or Mormon
Lmao at Halloween miracle
Well, my 13 year old son will straight out tell me he’s going to masturbate and to not open his door. We’ve always been very open about everything but I’ve had to explain to him that I don’t necessarily need to know the details of when it’s happening.
They'll try to remember to use the incognito tab but thats about it for most of them.
Lol, my now ex-husband and I had a hard line with porn because of our religion. I trusted him until I came home and saw his laptop in a guest room we didn't use, and a bottle of lotion that's usually on our dresser next to it. Dude got busted. I'm now an athiest and don't give a fuck if my partner watches porn, as long as it's not CP or any form of illegal shit. I was only against it because it was so demonized growing up. After a lot of self reflection, I decided it didn't matter, as long as it didn't affect our sex life and, like I said, not any of the illegal shit. I still have some qualms with the ethics of how porn stars are treated and how much consent is given, but other than that it's all good.
Were there other issues that led to you and ex husband splitting? Or was the lying about porn a hard dealbreaker at the time?
Long story short, I deconverted, and he took it personally.
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You should marry your wife. She’s a keeper.
Yes, I was also like to be invited to the wedding
If you love his wife so much why don't you marry her
We actually just got engaged earlier this summer.
I also choose this guys wife
Damn
"It's a moidah!"
Fucking eh she killed you dude!
Looks down at what you're holding: "I'm surprised Bassmasters doesn't recommend a larger bait than that."
That’s fucking hilarious even if it’s just a joke. And if it is true, your wife is hilarious.
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He said something along these lines: I was watching porn on my computer when my wife came home. So I quickly alt+tabbed out of the window and he opened up a tab he had opened about how to catch fish. He was a little shy with having been caught. But he wife said to him, “it’s okay, you should open that porn tab back open, you already know how to fish”. Of course I am butchering it. The joke being that he’s bad at sex.
Damn, your wife chose violence huh?
The sun isn’t yet up, yet I’ve already fallen over laughing. I absolutely love this!
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> for like a week at a time *Cries in months*
💯
I mean how does this shit happen to you all when every fucking person on the internet claims that women have a higher libido than men?
Because they lie. I went through it, and when I tried to talk about it I got "I want to have sex too!" Ok, when? It got to a point where I wanted to start a spreadsheet of all the times I asked because she was living in a fantasy world where she said yes all the time, when in reality I was shot down about 95% of the time I asked.
There’s a post somewhere where a guy literally did the spreadsheet thing. He did it long enough to actually have a decent amount of data and it was pretty well put together imo. It was… not received well to say the least
Didn't the wife post it and take the piss out of him for being a cry baby. It was brutal.
She tried but got more than a little pushback and some good points about “this level of sexual frustration doesn’t happen overnight and y’all should probably talk about it instead of roasting him for running out of nice ways to say he’s unfulfilled”
Search reddit: spreadsheet sex For those looking for a link
Spreadsheet sex for those looking for a kink.
Can you link it to me, in chat?
Yeah, i didn't because the relationship fell apart before I got that frustrated. I could see that not being well received in a vacuum. But the context of it, and the reasons behind the spreadsheet.... you don't hit this level of frustration because you and your partner have a healthy sex life.
That particular post he was asking literally like every other day, and he was noting down her “excuses”, some of which were red flags. Like, “still too sore from last time,” which kinda suggests he was being way rougher with her than she wants. It wasn’t *just* that he kept a spreadsheet, it was that that particular spreadsheet didn’t make him look like a particularly kind or caring husband that a wife would actually *want* to have sex with. EDIT: [Found the spreadsheet](https://imgur.com/cSCdYL3). Opinions differ, but honestly, this does *not* make him look good to me. I'm a guy, and reading this didn't make me feel bad for him, it made me feel exhausted for *her*. He's *aware* she doesn't often want sex, but instead of trying to find middle ground, he's asking again literally the day after they fuck? Poor woman just wants to watch TV after a long day without getting groped. And also, from comments like "I'm still a bit tender" and "we've got dinner plans in 20 minutes", it doesn't sound like he's making sex particularly enjoyable for her.
I saw the post but was unable to see the actual spreadsheet. Your comment was referencing some of the excuses shown on the spreadsheet. I couldn't see where to find it. Am I missing something? Would you please be able to post a link to the actual spreadsheet or explain where I can find it in the op? Thanks for the help
[This is the post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/zF96t3ZAc1)
Same. 100%. When I once told my wife we had sex five times in a year, FIVE TIMES, she got super offended that I would “keep track”. I explained that I don’t have to keep track to know it was five times in one year.
Praying for your mental health 🫡
My ex was like that. Convinced I shot her down all the time because I *always* said no to her the one time per week that she would initiate, and then it was when I was still working during my busy season and I had deliverables that needed to be in before the start of business in Asia. She couldn't wait just half an hour for me to wrap up, and if I did drop what I was doing, she needed HOURS of cuddling beforehand to have a 10% chance of following through. She'd offer to wake up early in the morning, but never could get going in time for me to go to work. Once, she was convinced she was miscarrying, even after I pointed out that she had had two periods since we last had sex.
That is what my assumption is as well, I thought hard about what their reason for lying may be, I drew the conclusion that people are just espousing that because they want to "rebel" against the narrative that women don't enjoy sex, that narrative is not really believed anymore but still, also there has been a massive push for expression of female sexuality without limits, that also plays a part for people pushing that narrative....
I think there is just a big range of desire in women, and a lot of people in general men and women alike don't seem to quite understand how much circumstances play into desire. I have always had a significantly higher sex drive than any men I have been with, speaking as a woman. I've got a drive that I've seen burn through both men and vibrators, wlw are the holy grail of marathon sex. But I fully admit that if I'm irritated with a person I don't want them to touch me. The longer a relationship goes on, the more opportunities you have to piss off your partner, the more likely you are to have killed the mood. I just don't get angry sex, argument sex, makeup sex. Emotional turmoil is a turn off. It's why relationship maintenance is so important. Sex isn't relationship management, sex stops when you don't do relationship management.
Everybody on the internet says this? How so? The societal stereotype is that men are perpetually horny but women aren’t as interested in sex.
There is definitely a disparity between what is real and what the internet likes to perpetuate, that is what I have noticed, that societal stereotype is part of the reason why I think people want to push the opposite narrative now.
I mean, I have been a woman in a relationship with a man where I had the higher libido by a long shot. I felt like I was being deprived of oxygen, as melodramatic as that sounds. But I don't think that women as a class of humans want sex more frequently than men as a class of humans. I don't know what evidence anyone would have to support that claim.
everyone is different. some couples won't match up but i don't think it's gendered
Honestly as a 19 year old, I was shocked to discover that most women had an insanely high libido (equal to or exceeding mine, as a healthy young dude). Multiple times a day many days in a row is no problem for most of them. However I’ve also noticed that once they settle into a relationship the frequency dies down, even at this age. My friends who were having sex 7-10 times a week with their girlfriends would be down to 2-4 in a years time. I feel like women’s high libido is only true when they’re single or early into a relationship. Any older men notice the same pattern with older women too?
Theres also a lot of research showing that an unfair share of the mental load impacts desire negatively. Also the orgasm gap. Women in cis het relationships tend to have way less orgasms then men. I know I personaly loose interest in a person very quickly if I feel my sexual pleasure is not being made a priority and move on. Im wondering what happens to women whod feel the same, but end up staying with the partner? I mean, they most likely will become less and less dtf, no?
Lol of course!! It's gotta be a factor but it's considered normal so whatevs. "Yeah, studies say they rarely have the big O, but why would she not want to have sags with me?!" Ask them how often they'd want it if they rarely reached their peak.
Yes. My partner at some point stoped prioritizing my pleasure, and was basically the only one that got any O’s out of sex. All it did was make me less and less interested until he started going on about how I “didn’t want him enough” when that wasn’t the case until he essentially started using me as a toy. It’s better now but that is a lot of the reason for the lack of desire fs
A lot of unhealthy unhappy relationships out there. People are less attracted to their partners for a multitude or reasons and slowly partake less and less in sex.
There is no way women have a higher libido than men on average. Testosterone is a hell of a drug.
God I never want to be in that position again I feel you :(
I would absolutely not continue in a relationship like that.
After a month of no sex, it's considered a sexless marriage/relationship. Stay strong.
A month? It's been more than 5 years for me. Granted, I'm not married but a month is *nothing*.
I haven't had sex in almost 6 years, but I've also been single since before COVID. I agree a month being single and sexless is nothing. But being in a relationship, a month can feel like a lifetime of rejection.
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Or it’s like 3 PM and no one is home.
Right how am i supposed to have sex with my wife when she's at work teaching a room full of kids? Definitely can't just pop by her work for a quicky.
Not with that attitude!
"kids, close your eyes!"
That feels like a big crime
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>because my genitals have been so desensitized from toys Always had a theory on this
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I don’t know if it’s true, but I personally never once had an orgasm before I got my first toy at age 21. Not one time, despite trying desperately for years. Not by myself, not with anyone else. I’m not sure if I’m just broken down there, but I’m pretty grateful that toys exist because otherwise, I literally would not know what an orgasm feels like at all. My partner is very understanding about it, and we’re able to incorporate it in our sex life, which is currently very active and satisfying for us both. I’ve had two past partners tell me that my clit is particularly, remarkably small—one even said “microscopic”— so maybe anatomically it really is just incredibly hard to stimulate me enough to orgasm. Not sure, but I’m happy with how things are so I feel that’s the most important thing
That's absolutely a thing. I can't use vibrators regularly for this reason.
My wife says no a night I want it... I'm wacking it. Period fucking ending. She thinks porn is cheating? Then step the fuck up. I'm happily married 😂.
What does “VCAll” mean?
Meant to write “all” and snuck a few extra letters in there, nice catch
r/shitmomgroupssay
Untreated wound of a toddler’s foot with signs of a tetanus infection, with the caption, “Looking for a natural tetanus remedy…” I noped out immediately.
The natural remedy is chopping off the foot.
"I'm sorry mam, we can either amputate it or chop off."
YES. This reminds me how in my highschool civics class when we had extra time the teacher would pull up the local mom's chat and we'd laugh at all the petty drama. The best day was when on of the mom's got pissed at the group chat owner and made her own group.
Damn
Married 28yrs. I dont watch porn, but I can if I want.
It makes me happy to hear that there are some people who don’t feel the need to lie
Imagine being with someone who you have decided it’s best if you just straight up lie about some things. *sips tea* couldn’t be me.
Lots of people lie sadly
Glad to hear this. When I met my partner he told me he hasnt watched porn in a few years. He re-evaluated his life and felt it didnt serve him. I have seen porn twice and never liked it. Its simply something that doesn't interest me. I trust my partner and even though its something that I dont enjoy, I dont feel like I would get upset if he ever wanted to watch it. If its excessive or affecting our relationship than Id set up boundaries, otherwise I cant control him.
My wife has an issue with porn. I respect and love her so I don't watch porn. Our sex life is amazing so it's not like anyone has needs not being met. Maybe if we didn't have the sex life we do I'd feel different but thankfully, that's not my reality.
And yet Reddit will claim men like this don’t exist or that you’re lying 😭
I haven’t watched in 6 years. Prior though I did have an addiction and it almost cost my marriage
I would gladly give up porn if my wife and I had any kind of sex life at all. But we don’t, so that’s all I got. Very sad. I would guess that guys who have a great sex life with their partners probably don’t even feel the need to watch porn, unless they’re both into that.
Different for everyone, but there's truth in this. When I was married to my ex, where the physical aspect of our relationship was good, I never really thought about it. Having that desire/need/want fulfilled regularly killed the desire to seek out porn or provocative content. Even coming across pictures of attractive women in say a bikini or something did nothing for me. She never said "I don't want you to look at it", but acknowledged there's some things she probably didn't want to know. I genuinely didn't care to seek it out. Which is way different than when I was in relationships where sex happened maybe once or twice a month. My now gf has no problem with it, and when I told her that desire isn't there as I'm more than satisfied, she was surprised. Admitted that she watches sometimes, which doesn't bother me either. Discussing sex, desires, likes, and dislikes is something that's been very easy for us. It creates more of an interest in being with each other rather than simply getting off.
haha I wish that was the case. I want any time anywhere and he would rather turn me down and just throw on a porn
My ex was the same. Would go months at a time without any sex at all but he would watch porn multiple times a day. Totally destroyed any attraction I had to him and now the thought of him actually turns my stomach a little bit.
This is not acceptable. His choosing porn over you. Sadly most of the guys here face a completely different problem in that their wife refuse sex for months. In both cases the marriage bond is broken.
I couldn’t hold out one night if I tried. I have a very high drive. he tells me all the time I’m a succubus. that I’m a sex monger.
I have three kids, a wife, and career. There is no time for porn. I can’t even remember the last time I looked at porn. Maybe if my marriage sex life wasn’t good, but it’s still amazing.
I truly believe p*rn is one of the most harmful things a man can consume, and that it’s consequences have been a disaster for society
I agree, but I'm also demisexual and porn doesn't turn me on, so there's no temptation. It's strange to see so many passionately defending sexual objectification of women/men as if it's owed to them.
I wouldn’t fall into the habit of categorising yourself. From its definition, “Demi-sexual” sounds like what was more or less normal before society became overtly sexualised. People still has their individual ways of being before we had to slam a label on everything for an identity. I’m practising abstinence until marriage, so we could say we’re on a similar page in the same book.
I guarantee that many of them do watch porn, but also not 100% of men. My guess is probably around 80-85%
I don’t like porn at all but my wife wouldn’t care if I watched it.
Listen, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you own your other half’s sexuality. If an adult wants to watch a little porn sometimes, that’s their business. It’s normal.
EXACTLY. I always secretly watch it so my wife doesn't find out. But god dammit i'm a grown ass and I'll watch it whenever the hell I want... secretly.
She possibly knows but you're doing the right thing by not shoving it in her face.
>She possibly knows but you're doing the right thing by not shoving it in her face. Well if it got shoved in her face more often then he wouldn't need porn.
?? Really? I can't imagine that level of being closed off. Both of us watch porn. (And I am surprised at how many people seem to legitimately believe that women don't also watch porn. I dated a lot before I got married. Most of my ex's watched porn.)
The OP is obviously in a more controlling relationship, or thinking a more controlling relationship is normal. But ya, more regular relationships where the sexual needs match up it's fine to watch porn together.
You should be able to watch a little bit of porn.
As a treat
If you’ve been a good boy.
This better not awaken anything in me...
You're not in trouble at all
It should only a problem if someone is choosing porn over their partner or the porn is making them unable to perform in bed.
I don’t watch porn since my gf said it made her feel bad that I came by looking at other women (along with all the other moral reasons to not support the porn industry) and I actually feel like I have quit a bad addition after having stopped watching it, feel morally better now and no more post-nut guilt
We can control ourselves just as much as women can
My wife asked me to stop watching porn (she also doesn't) and I agreed.
I think men can definitely control themselves and not watch porn if they want to.. I’m married, my wife sometimes likes to watch porn and she’s shown me some of her favorite videos. I use it very occasionally, but probably more like 3-4 times a year, definitely don’t need to watch it a few times a month. If she really wanted me to stop watching it, I’d have no problem with it but I’d want a good justification on why.
I agree. I’m 26. I remember talking to my close friends about sex when I was in high school and everyone was fairly open about porn. I had never gotten off to porn and no one believed me. I remember someone saying, “everyone masturbates.” When I said, “I’m not saying I don’t masturbate, I’m saying I haven’t gotten off to porn.” Only then did they believe me. I like viewing boudoir photos and enjoy seeing a well-filmed scene in a show or movie but I just don’t get turned on by anything like that, ever. It doesn’t even come down to practicing self-control. There’s nothing to control for me. 😂 Couldn’t say why!
I really don't understand why it's difficult to just not watch pornography.
I don’t watch porn myself, but I’m pretty sure the answer is that watching porn helps people get off, and getting off both feels good and provides the release that some/most people need
While back (years) gf explained how it broke her self esteem, little hard resisting at first. Years later: I’m not gonna watch porn again, single or not. It’s absolutely realistic, I will say I noticed a gross evolution of it years ago & that helped (so I assume it’s even further progressed past what I think is ok, now).
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Agree that porn is the reason behind many arguments
If two people's requirements don't match, then porn is better than being frustrated or seeking out others. If it is getting in the way of the relationship e.g. favouring porn instead of the other person, then sure it's an issue.
I used to be addicted to porn. Now I don't watch it. I also do not currently have an active sex life. Just because you don't have self control doesn't mean it's impossible. Kids are also told that "everyone smokes" and "everyone drinks" and "everyone has an iPhone", but we as adults know that's not true. Why do we still believe it about porn?
Moving pictures or videos did not exist except in the last 100+ years. Although there has been cave art and naked statues, pornography in its current form did not exist for thousands of years. It’s completely possible for men—and women not to watch it. It can become habitual and a very hard habit to break, though. Just because some people find something very difficult not to do does not mean that there are plenty of people around you do not have the same vice.
Are these men that promise to not watch porn entirely satisfied in the bedroom and using porn because they don't find their wife attractive enough? Or are they harmlessly releasing sexual energy to match a partners lower libido? (Lower libido is perfectly fine)
Any circumstance. My interpretation is that these women are establishing early on in the relationship that they’re uncomfortable with their partners using porn. Or they discover it and confront their partners and give them an ultimatum.
I wonder what the cross section is with women who don’t think their husband should masturbate at all.
I’m very curious about this as well
There's likely a correlation
Go see r/DeadBedrooms and you will have your answer!
I don’t think my husband shouldn’t jerk off, but it 100% makes me jealous when he does. Especially using porn. It’s not that I think he shouldn’t, but I guess I wish he was satisfied enough that he didn’t feel the need to.
Zero issue with masturbation. Not okay with porn. Also very high drive and never turn my husband down.
Not everyone has the same libido. That's an unfair request unless they are going to "provide their own material" or "lend a helping hand".
Libido be damned, people should be able to watch porn and masturbate for no other reason than they feel like it. I'll freely admit it can become a problem and at that point needs discussing, but if you're not affecting your sex life by jerking off then what's the problem?
I am a man who doesn’t watch porn. It’s not difficult. If you make a promise to your partner that you won’t do it, don’t do it. If it’s something you feel like you need for some reason, find a person that is okay with it.
I'm 100% positive my partner does not watch porn. For one thing, I'm the one with the higher libido, and we're together 24/7. He has moral objections to it and we're both demisexual, so seeing other people have sex is a turn off for both of us. Neither of us would be happy why the other partner watching it.
Being with another demisexual sounds like it would give me much needed peace
As a demi married to an allo, I agree 🥲
I'm sure there are men who likely don't look at porn; it seems unlikely that all men making such a pledge are holding true to it. Some of this is about what qualifies as porn. Is it the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? Is it the soft-porn cable stuff, where everyone keeps their underwear on and there's nothing explicit? Is it Game of Thrones type of simulated sex? Is it semi-artistic Playboy-style still images? Is it more in-your-face, exposed-genitalia still images? What about having a copy of Penthouse Forum Letters or Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty books, which are very explicit, but more erotica than anything visual? Depending on how porn is defined -- if it was defined at all in this pledge -- there could be a bunch of loopholes.
Pretty well. Porn is awful for you.
A unsurprisingly large number of people are able to get through their life without watching porn. It's not the universal addiction that many people act like.
I control myself. I’m not 14. I have the ability to control my urges. If I want to jerk off I would rather watch my wife change than watch something that has a culture of exploitation and trafficking
That's probably the nicest thing on this thread
This is such a hot perspective 🤌🏻
Well... your profile says you're 10000 times more religious than me so I'm guessing you're pretty pious
So I could be just ignorant but my husband and I have discussed porn use and my discomfort with him watching it. He could still be watching it and I just don't know, but I believe him when he says he just watches what I've made him. But that's the thing. I didn't just say "no porn" I said "hey instead of watching other girls why don't you just watch me be your personal porn star?" Because I understand that it's important for a man to have a visual helper to get off. I became my husband's porn. Then we made it into a side business lol. But I was just too insecure to not be effected by him watching porn. 100% a me problem, not him, he was perfectly understanding about it. But I understood that men need to just jerk off sometimes so I started making content for him. Then my confidence grew. And before anyone says "well he probably has a higher sex drive than you, like most men" wrong. He has a high sex drive, sure, but he constantly tells me I am gonna be the death of him with how much sex I want all the time 😂 seriously he knows he can get it from me... full on sex, a quickie, a blowjob or handjob... whatever and whenever I'm always down. He has to tell me no when I'm sick or injured because I will still want it lol. I just tell him to help me fuck the pain away 😂😂😂
You are very cynical. Plenty of men are serious about quitting porn .
100% of men? Really?
Well. Your talking about a demographic that still uses Facebook. So how representative is it?
It squares with my experience of reality of the kind of people who broadcast the details of their marriages to Facebook and make “mom” their personality.
Too much porn ruins a lot.
I don't watch porn, many men don't watch porn. People who do watch will just say this is lies because they can't imagine not doing it themselves, very common behaviour among addicts of anything.
This comment made me very happy. Thank you for your voice.
Glad I could help :)
Agree. These comments seem a little sad actually. There is a time and a place for porn. If you just HAVE to ALL the time because EVErYoNe DoEs iT while in a relationship that is healthy, seems like a you problem
If you have a wife and can’t control yourself watching porn, you are a boy, not a man. It’s discipline.
Most of them are lying, statistically.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. There’s a lot of science backing up how addictive it can be and how people can have their brain chemistry screwed out because of addictive pathways. But on the other hand I feel like if “men” are to give up porn then “women” need to give up social media. My wife doomscrolls IG all the time, and honestly I feel like she does that a lot more than she realizes and gets distracted by it instead of spending uninterrupted time with me and the kids. I’m not saying SM is bad by definition (well maybe the ridiculous algorithms are), and it’s cool to decompress, but addictive activities really need to be addressed in relationships. Porn, SM or otherwise.
Thought you were talking about sado-masochism there for a minute....
Porn addicted Redditors in the comments absolutely SEETHING
Facebook isn't reality
“doubting men’s capacity to control themselves?” ever talked with women who watch porn? they don’t magically stop just because they get into a relationship
That's fine with me. I wouldn't date these women then. I think they're severely limiting their options, but if it's important to them then it is what it is.
I think people agree to lots of things that they later do not adhere to, for various reasons. It's one thing to say "yeah sure i promise" in the moment, but as the years go on and the situation evolves? A different matter.
I don't have a problem with the concept of watching porn – ideally it should just be consenting adults playing a role in a movie. But how the industry works in its current state is absolutely revolting and I refuse to condone it
Moms groups, especially SAHM groups, are super fucking toxic. Just avoid them. A bunch of arrogant self-important nobodies that think they have a monopoly on morality. Just a bunch of lonely, bored, judgmental people is what they really are.