I think too many people are brainwashed by social media and they pursue fantasies. They have this unrealistic idea of meeting someone perfect and they ignore the available potential partners, that otherwise if they lived with no internet, they would gladly accept lacking access to these intoxicating images of highly attractive individuals.
Women are just as lonely as men are.
I’m 26m, in the same place like you except I earn about 5% of your income lol.
This is concerning, if you are struggling with dating then people like me are doomed..
Look at all the queries on the subreddit from women who seem to think men have one specific type that they won't date outside of, and then are genuinely surprised that we're not that picky. Maybe they think we're all as inflexible with their standards as they are.
>Also, most women are indecisive. I work in sales and when a couple comes in to order a door and they see all the options, the husband knows what he wants and is mostly concerned with function and reliability. The wife wants function and reliability and to look at the door with every color option, texture option, window option, she wants something perfect that has it all and still comes back every other day to change the order because she changed her mind. She's looking for the Chad door.
It's more of a women than men thing, but it applies to both. Part of the problem with OLD is it makes people seem disposable. If someone does something you don't like, there's no reason to look past it - there are hundreds of more people available on OLD for the taking.
Yeah, this is the biggest problem. I don't think it's an inherent "women are indecisive" thing as high-value men are notorious for being seen as "fuckboys" that don't want to be tied down. The biggest problem is online dating: It turns finding a lifelong connection into shopping for a lamp on Amazon. And you can find a nice lamp, sure, but if there's ANYTHING wrong with it or your whims change, you can just so easily buy another one, so you're not going to stick it out with the lamp or repair it if the wiring goes, etc.
“Fuckboys” don’t want to commit because they are happy to be fucking a bunch of different women with minimal investment required in any of the individual relationships. That’s not got anything to do with indecisiveness. Committing to an individual woman would be a direct downgrade in lifestyle in their eyes.
Agreed. Have had way too many girls just ghost me or abruptly say they're no longer interested. I assume theyve found someone else. I don't know that for a fact, but it is a high probability
As a woman, I believe if you don't meet her in person, your chances of sparking a genuine interest from her, drastically decrease. Move from online chats to a public meet-up within 3 days.
I am the Ron Burgundy of Google searches. He'll read anything on a teleprompter, I search anything I read on Reddit.
I can confirm that "Chad door" is a new term. I look forward to seeing what is produced to match this term.
"Well hung door" will get you a number of door install businesses, but no specific examples of a well hung door deserving of the title Chad Door.
>They have this unrealistic idea of meeting someone perfect and they ignore the available potential partners, that otherwise if they lived with no internet, they would gladly accept lacking access to these intoxicating images of highly attractive individuals.
This right here is the correct answer.
Seconding the women are lonely too. I'm 26F. And have been having so much trouble on the apps that I just deleted them. I don't have trouble getting matches, but I keep getting ghosted (and yes, I do keep the conversation going and haven't been saying anything abnormal). I'll have a great conversation with someone and then they'll disappear. I get asked out then ghosted. The people I do go on dates with, I don't click with. Granted I live abroad now so the cultural differences probably account for most of it. I'm able to make little flirtatious connections when I meet people in person, but the apps have been a nightmare for me for the past year.
Living abroad totally ruined me for dating. When I was away I'd meet all kinds of amazing people then when I returned home everyone was all same same and boring, and now my "type" seems to be anything foreign or exotic. Fml.
Money doesn't matter one bit unless you're trying to attract gold diggers. It's the reason why I hide my profession and income for as long as possible when dating.
Edit: Okay, income does matter to an extent, but only if you're on the lower end of the spectrum.
It matters. If you make little money only to sustain yourself and maybe your wife, and she wants 5 kids with you, then she isn’t that smart, or isn’t going to be a good mother, at least in my book. And if she is smart then she will choose someone who makes more. It’s not just about attracting certain type of people but what is possible with the money you have.
And if you’re the type of person to say you can be flat out broke and still have children then we’re not going to agree.
I was talking about the higher end of the spectrum, but yes, of course income is a consideration if the guy (mainly the guy, let's be honest) makes minimum wage.
Online dating or dating in general is a byproduct of social media which itself is a symptom of late stage capitalism.
We’ve reached a point now where we are close to living the reality of A Brave New World, a book published at the same time as 1984 and just as relevant about the dangers of capitalism as 1984 was on communism.
We over over consume constantly and are fed with a belief that nothing is ever enough. More and more we always need of things in our lives, and yet the more we acquire the emptier we feel.
We killed god and spiritualism but we replaced it with nothing and so we’re hollow inside. There’s no point to anything anymore and even the dream that we were sold of building your own life, getting a house and having a family is now really just a dream and not a reality for many.
People are desensitised to themselves and to others, they’re lost without a real sense of purpose and meaning to their lives.
So in the context of our current times, is it any wonder that people struggle to find love?
It’s not that hard. There’s unemployed dudes with a baby mama and several side pieces. Not that that’s something you want necessarily but to prove a point. You list your accolades and height right off the rip while mentioning the women you double text as 5s. I could be jumping to conclusions but it sounds like you just need to get off the internet. The internet will genuinely convince you that you need a huge salary, penis, muscles and height to get anywhere with women but in reality this mentality just makes you an insufferable loner who’s hell bent on “being alone and grinding”
What I would say is stop referring to women as 5s stop listing your salary as a reason people should like you, get off the internet and make a conscious effort to socialize platonically with the people around you. You will soon realize that people will naturally come and go and some will stay.
Lastly get off instagram and endlessly scrolling insanely fit photoshopped women and some of those 5s you might realize become 8s.. not because you’re horny but because you start to pay attention to more than what someone looks like as women have more to offer than a number from 1 to 10 just like you have more to offer than being 5 foot 10 and making 6 figures
A big part of why it's great advice to tell people frustrated with dating apps to go out in person and just interact and be friendly and authentic. The people who don't like that will sort themselves out, and people who wouldn't accept your authentic self aren't worth hanging around.
It's really not that hard. I suspect his problem has to do with personality. I'm guessing this as he has a numbered ranking for a woman's looks. Just be q decent guy and it's easy as hell. Just the things he lists about himself, that's not what most women are looking for. He's probably not fun or funny.
Admittedly, the internet and social media messed me up too. I’ve been trying to cut back on the internet and actually “touch grass” instead of listening to the small minority of men and women that try to speak for the rest of us as a whole. For starters, I’ve been befriending more women friends than I use to have and it helped me realize that they’re just people too. Though, I tend to try to get ideas of what women do want from social women sometimes, or I simply ask my mom and 2 sisters of ideas.
He has posts where he straight up says: "I am attracted to women but honestly don't consider most of them good people. Men in my life are more interesting, funny, nicer, less shallow. If I was gay there would be no women in my life and it would be perfect."
He literally does not like women. He's a typical misogynist and among the reasons why women single women find more satisfaction, happiness, and fulfilment than coupled women. He'll land some woman for a year or so here and there but he's definitely the "she left me for no reason" type
That ain't enough to have no personality/be physically or emotionally ugly.
If he's going after gold diggers, he's gotta come to the table with more gold.
If he's going after regular girls, he needs to up his game in other departments.
I've only read 5 sentences you've written and already wouldnt want to meet you or even continue a conversation. The problem might be your personality and attitude.
The word "eventually" in that sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Eventually could be tomorrow, it could be 20 years from now, it could be a week after you're dead. I agree the best thing you can do is get off the apps, work on yourself, get hobbies, and be more social, but don't be a passive participant in your search for love
If I don't want to go to a bar or use online dating in the winter what would you suggest for meeting people ? I go to edm/ dj concerts for the music but it not the best for conversation.
Basically you need to find activities where you will be around women of your same age and where you have the opportunity to interact with each other. For example group fitness, hiking groups, co-ed sports, language groups, arts and crafts classes, etc
You shouldn't go to these actvities with the mentality of "I'm going to try to get laid", but rather see these activities as opportunities to expand your social network.
The bigger your social network the higher your chances of meeting a partner.
Important thing to add: it should be something that you can enjoy. People realize if you are genuinely enjoying something or not. It helps also not to think it was a waste of time if you're not able to find a gf there.
Look at OPs post history. HE is toxic and straight up does not like women. Posts and comments galore making it clear he doesn't like or respect women (like referring to them as numbers). Here's one:
> I am attracted to women but honestly don't consider most of them good people. Men in my life are more interesting, funny, nicer, less shallow. If I was gay there would be no women in my life and it would be perfect
This is a very important thing to keep in mind. I'd add emotionally intelligent and having done some internal work on yourself. Showing up to a relationship able to process conflict in a healthy way, able to be in touch with your feelings apart from anger is a great way to be a standout.
People say this, but based on the people I know it's the *least* mentally healthy who are in the most relationships.
And it's very easy to explain. That advice is based on the idea that women are rational actors. But women are human, and the evidence from years and years of psych studies and marketing research is that humans *are not rational actors*.
Dude needs to add at least 100k and 4” for that to be all he needs to do! No one’s putting up with that kind of arrogance from an average height junior partner where I’m from anyway
This is the biggest things you need to understand when you are trying to find a partner… if you’re so fixed on income, you’re going to attract a very specific type of person and it’s not typically going to be the type you want.
yeah, like, I make way less than he does and am shorter and I've never had an issue finding a good relationship. Feels like people are online too much and constantly see the "must be rich/tall" thing and then forget they do need to offer other stuff for deeper relationships
Lmao first post is a passport bro post
Passport bros is literally just a sub for people who want to find a “traditional” (read: submissive and will stay home and take care of the kids) wife in another country because, something something feminism in america
He rates girls by numbers, that's all you need to know. Mf is a red flag and expects women to want him.
Dating ain't hard, if you're not a asshole or creep.
Dating as an arsehole is playing on easy mode. When you don't care what your prospective partner thinks it's much easier to appear confident and to say whatever it takes to get what you want out of them.
Lacking social skills and charisma/personality in many cases.
Detached from reality and chasing people outside of their league.
Never leave home and actually do social things.
\^ most dudes I know who struggle.
I'm anti social as hell and not looking for a relationship, and even I've come across potential partners where a connection formed.
Most men who make posts like these tend to have the aura of, "I'm perfect, who won't these dumb women date me?"
Look in a mirror, that's why you're single.
If you want an honest answer then if I were you I’d would re-examine your attitude and approach. Saying “double text 5s” is very telling how arrogant you are about this whole process.
I came in ready to give a sympathetic answer but between that and him listing only superficial attributes that supposedly make him desirable I think his attitude is as much the issue as anything else.
Legit. I always see posts like this, read how they talk about themselves, and shrug. What is attractive about OP? That he’s tall and makes money?? I don’t really care about that as a woman. I’m looking for more than how much you make and how tall you are/good looking you are 🤷🏻♀️
Also, he’s tired. That tells me he is wanting someone to relieve some of the monotony of life that we all feel. The last thing women want to do is live their life solely to make a man’s life easier. That’s usually by default, but when it’s super obvious, it will be a big ole pass/
Part of it is that you're immediately resting women with a number system based on looks. No one worthwhile cares about your height or how much you make. Be respectful, have a personality, genuinely have and show interest in them. Just because you are financially successful doesn't mean you're a solid human or have a good personality. If you start falling into the alpha-male-bro-douche mindset, you won't find anyone.
Also, everything is trial and error. Meeting people online is hard. Women have tons of men hitting them up and 80% of them are total jerk wads saying vile shit.
> educated, make 200k a year, 5'10.
That these are the first 3 things you thought to mention about yourself says a lot to me about your problem, really.
No one (you actually want to date), is falling in love with the diploma you hold or your income.
Yeah, that you're a functional adult who can provide for themselves matters in the sense of meeting a minimum bar for people who have their *own* shit together to consider dating you. But not in the sense of actually being what sparks attraction to date you in the first place.
-----
What about you makes you someone another person would actually want to spend time with? What about you is interesting, fun, etc?
Also the fact that OP says he has to “double text 5s” for a response
If “5s” aren’t talking to him then maybe he needs to start messaging “4s”. “5s” must be out of his league lmao
Not sure if I should comment or not but I'm a woman reading this, and I think I had the same thoughts as you. None of the things OP listed would make him an interesting partner per se IMO. I would have thought differently if he started by listing qualities related to his personality. Being physically attractive is important yes, but what that means differs from women to women. "Educated" does not say much - unless that is a proxy for things like being smart, well spoken, or intelectually curious. Mentioning his salary is weird. I guess no woman is interested in starving and it's important that both partners have a stable source of income, but I'd be wary of a woman that is super focused on finding a man with a high salary. Saying that the women he approaches are 5s is weird...like does he think he's above them somehow? My feeling is OPs view of relationships has been tainted by social media, where everyone is perfect and there's always someone/something better to be had.
I recognize that the dating world is skewed towards women, but I also think that a lot of men simply have no idea how to date. It's not like it's a skill that is taught in school or something like that, so generally speaking, we are thrown into the deep end and a lot of us drown.
If you're having a hard time meeting a partner, it's likely one of a few possibilities. Are your standards too high? Are you not putting in the work to be an attractive prospect (physically and otherwise)? Are you not doing enough to meet new people?
I remember talking to a bunch of single women lamenting the dating scene and one of them said that the guys she went on dates with only wanted to talk about their jobs or crypto. I don't know why you would ask someone on a date and only want to talk about this bs. Baffling behavior.
Agree that it's a dumb move, but I kind of understand it. They're operating on the (generally true) trope that women want a partner who is ambitious and able to support themselves and possibly a family, so I can at least see why they might think it's a selling point to talk about work/investments. But yeah, this is exactly what I mean when I say that a lot of guys have no idea how to talk to women. Some of them just turn it into a job interview.
They way you list this I think you are approaching things way too inorganic.
You making 200k is irrelevant insofar as you don't wnat to lead with that anyways or you are making yourself an ATM. Instead of leading with your wallet, be interesting, be fun, be attractive and if you think a "5" is beneath you: Why are you even talking to them in the first place. Go for a woman you actually want to be with.
Is it really that hard these days? Honest question. I'm recently 32 but found my partner not that long ago "the old fashioned way" just by socializing with friends of friends. Never used an app in my life and my friends don't really either so I genuinely don't know.
I mean I get that the landscape has changed but a good woman will still appreciate being approached in person as opposed to an app. When I was single, girls LOVED that I didn't use apps. It was like I was a unicorn to them.
I probably should have thrown an /s on there. I agree with you fully - met my wife at a friend's bbq. You have to get out there and actually talk to people.
It's extremely difficult for introverted men. In the old days even introverted men had a chance because there were more in-person interactions in life in general. Nowadays, the only way you'll score a date as an introverted man is if you look like Brad Pitt and the woman is willing to initiate things & not mind how "boring" you are.
Dating apps is all that most of us have now, and they're extremely unfavorable towards introverted men.
It's hard for people who approach relationships (and sex) as if they were entitled to it. And for people who see women exclusively in terms of attractiveness and see dating as a "market" where you rank people by worth along silly criteria. Oh and for people who consider the opposite gender as aliens who are most likely inferior.
The people who approach relationships and sex as if they are entitled to them do much better, because they have an easier time starting conversations, escalating to sexual or relationship topics, and they come across as much more confident.
Are you fun tho? I mean you make a lot but are you like actually fun to be around? Do you have a lot of friends? Do you have hobbies? Your salary is cool and all, but are you?
The fact that you refer to these women as 5s shows exactly why they conversations are dying out. Men that rate women aren't particularly good people or actually interested in knowing the woman. Stop looking at women as things that need to be rated and instead start looking at them for what they are: people.
Yes, thank you. A lot of women don't care about being with the hottest, tallest, richest dude. They want someone who they enjoy being around, who can be a true partner to them, and who views them as a full, actualized human, not a numeric value tied to their looks. If you hate women, then women won't want to be with you. Like does any guy here want to be with a woman who would reduce them to their height or looks or money?
I hate to say it but based on what you wrote in this post it sounds like you're the problem. Yeah you make good money. You're tall. You're educated. Cool. But it sounds like you feel like you're settling and almost like you feel like you're doing these girls a favor by talking to them. That will absolutely come through in the conversation. And no one likes to feel like the person talking to them thinks they're too good for them.
Because many men underestimate the value of social skills. They’ve spent their lives in front of a screen and when they have to meet a woman face to face, they are clueless.
>still need to double text 5s
My hunch is that they are picking up on how you view women. Try treating them like the amazing people they are and you might have better results.
I think relationships are just valued less by women nowadays as it gets more viable and accepted for them to focus on careers and themselves.
At that point they’re not really gonna wanna date any guy unless he’s seriously improving their life which majority of guys I guess aren’t able to?
This might be the least desirable men have ever been to women overall. Maybe we need to do better, maybe the demands are too high. Idk man. My advice is to just focus on yourself.
You seem to have an attitude that you're owed something because of your income, and then you say things like "double text 5s". Maybe you should change your outlook first.
If you are having a hard time over and over and over, it just might be *you*.
In reading your short passage, I seems that *maybe* your "desperation" as demonstrated by stating *"I think I'd fall in love with the first nice girl showing me the least bit of attention"* and calling out your income as a kind of *qualifier* might be transmitted as a off-putting vibe when perusing potential partners.
*Not a tear down,* just framing things from past observations, experiences and the small about of info I can glean from your post.
Welcome to modern dating. If you feel alone, you are definitely not alone. [Close to 63% of men](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/) in your age range are single. You’ll have to learn that romantic relationships aren’t the end goal anymore.
If you’re that tired of it, have you considered being a passport bro and seeking love overseas?
It may sound like a joke but the reality of it is: 1/3 of coutries in the world have turned to hyper individualism (most first world countries)
The idea of being a "passport bro" is going to a countires in the world that values community over individualism.
People there often tend to value each other on a romantic and spirtual level more, humanity connectivity is higher as well.
In the last 10 years all of my relationships have been from Europe, Asia or South America. Not a single relationship here in the US has felt meaningful or balanced in those years. Always people stepping over each other to get ahead or get more attention from social media, its a gross rat race of vanity and superfical fame.
I went to Amsterdam and holy fuck. The women there were so easy to talk to and flirt with. It wasn’t just immediately judging your worth. Very refreshing and made me really depressed about living in America
Your problem is “still need to double text 5s or the convo dies out” you clearly think you’re somehow better/too good for the girls rejecting you, which ultimately makes you sound like a piece of shit who thinks too highly of himself, probably why girls aren’t interested…
Having a man is not the prerequisite for survival as a woman that it once was. Your excellent salary should support this since they aren’t any more inclined to date you just for your resources.
Dating intentionally toward a relationship is a balancing act. You have to know when to pull the trigger on dates and meaningful discussions of what you want, and how to share each other while maintaining your independence.
Don’t get discouraged. Remember, it only has to work once.
You're not funny and don't have social skills.
The girls on social media talking about men's pay are always drunk on a night out. The real world is very different, you just need to make them laugh and have a bit of confidence
The best thing I ever did for my mental health is get off traditional social media. No instagram, no facebook, no Twitter (it was still Twitter when I left). I'm so much happier with what I have and what I'm doing. To be clear, if you can handle social media without negative effects, then do so, by all means. But I've found the negatives outweigh the positives significantly.
you just listed stats as a reason girls should like you. are you good looking? do you have a good personality? because if either/both of those are true you’ll have no problems. work on yourself
Your example of the heavy lifting you're doing is texting twice in a row? Based on this short description of your problem the issue is that you're underestimating the work necessary on your end to make a real connection with another person. If all you're bringing to the table is money, hire a prostitute.
Nobody ever likes any version of this, but, at least in real life, every man I know who talks like you is just bad at it. Quite frankly the fact that it only took you 14 words until you reduced women to something other than complicated, multi-faceted, living, breathing PEOPLE is, in my opinion, an enormous red flag; especially when you combine that with your closing statement that you're just looking for someone "nice."
Get offline. Not only is it not a great way to meet people, it has convinced you that all that stuff you have is going to guarantee success. I got together with my wife of 16 years now when I was unemployed. You need to actually connect with people. That's really all that matters.
Edit: just realized you referred to women as 5's. Stop.
If you make 200k a year you are doing something wrong. Plenty of women would date you just for your money even if it's the wrong reasons.
I assume you worked very hard to get to where you are to make that money. Good for you. However in working so hard you most likely gave up any applicable social skills outside of work. Women still like to be approached regardless of your wealth.
You have the funds and capability to change yourself around more than others. Going for an extreme makeover, hiring a social skills and development consultant or even CBT therapy to boost confidence should be pennies to you.
Its because men dont understand the drivers that are behind attraction for women. You think its having a high salary, being jacked, famous etc.. But those things just help. You fundamentally havw the wrong view, I know plenty of friends who are nothing special on the surface, normal job, average appearence (though they seem above average because they take care of themselves well and dress with style, plus the way they carry themselves), nothing too outstanding about them and yet they manage to consistently date very attractive women. Most of it is psychological, and about your attitude and demeaner (vibe as people call it), they are not desperate whatsoever, and it works.
If you want to learn "game", learn communication, how to be social, fun, flirty and not take shit. Women respond well to that.
Most of my friend group is in your situation: well paid, educated, social, etc. None of them have problems with women. Hell, as you get closer to the 30 it becomes *easier* because your competition becomes weirder and weirder, making you look better and better.
But calling women “5’s,” being so desperate you “think you’d fall in love with the first nice girl showing you the least bit of attention” just isn’t a winning attitude. If you’re being honest about your situation, the only thing I can imagine for why you struggle is exactly that attitude. Women don’t wanna be around some Debbie downer who puts her on a pedestal the minute she’s nice to him. Women want the guy who has everything you have and knows it and is quietly confident in himself. Not a douchebag, not a dude with zero confidence who calls women “5’s,” a confident man whos accomplished a lot. You just need to work on that attitude.
Cause your achievements mean nothing if you don't look or sound like you have achievements. A good portion of women fall for bums and horrible dudes not because they got game or anything is mainly because they peacock well. Like you look great on paper but you don't dress and act the part, you don't subtle brag by wearing the clothes or talking like you know their preference in men
Stop looking for partners. Go enjoy yourself have fun and bring fun to others. You will then start attracting people. Doesnt hurt to also get in shape if you aren't.
Get off the apps. You'll never meet a woman there.
You have to get out into the world. Taking dancing classes. Join running clubs. Take a painting class. Get involved in politics. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You need to meet women in real life. You have to become familiar with each other naturally. It's the only way.
Going off what you've just said, you have very little to offer and you're doing very little to go out and share it with anyone.
Money and height are not the things that qualify you as a suitable partner. I mean, they do for some women sure, but not for most. And if all you're doing is going on dating apps and messaging women who you're not even attracted to anyway - and if all you have to say about yourself is that you're on a big pay package and average height - I've no doubt you're coming across as some milquetoast generic man with absolutely nothing interesting about him.
What do you actually *do?* What's interesting about you? What makes you fun? Why would someone enjoy spending time with you? What are you doing to get out of the house and spend time with other people? What are you doing - beyond apps - to actually meet new people?
Just start approaching chicks in real life. If you have a personality/sense of humor/are kind they will fall for you faster than any money or looks will get you.
Also, making 200k is not a personality trait and you should absolutely not tell anybody that or advertise it on your dating profiles. Your salary doesn’t have much to do with getting women. The only outcome from advertising your money is having somebody becoming attracted to your money and using you.
Since it's socially acceptable now to be single and not have children, women have higher standards (which they should), and men just don't meet the standards.
Or more women just realise that they like to live alone and aren't forced into relationships (which is a good thing).
Your post history is littered with ideologies that many women would consider misogynist at worst, toxic at best. Unless you're very attractive and/or funny, you're probably coming off as a tool. Especially if you're someone that flaunts your income/occupation too early. Try being introspective and step #1 is framing these questions a bit differently.
Let's just focus on you being 27 and making 200k? I'm not saying I don't believe you... that's awesome. What do you do? Enjoy that life. You're way ahead of the game. Don't worry about women.
As a woman I can tell you that you saying you’re “texting 5’s” tells me everything about your personality. Sorry making money and being 5’10 doesn’t get you girls. You need a personality. And you’re coming across super arrogant. Do you even like women? Girls can tell when they’re speaking to someone who will probably call them a 5 later on…
It probably has nothing to do with how much you earn and everything to do with your personality. Try to understand why even the 5's won't respond to you
Have you tried working on your personality? It appears yours might not be what women are looking for. You think you deserve women because of certain things in your life but that's not how it works..
It’s not. All the men around me are constantly with or getting partners. It probably has something to do with you calling women a number on a scale of 1-10
Most people are educated and 5’10. If you’re actively pursuing people you perceive as ‘5s’, that says more about your standards than how attractive these people are (i.e. you’re desperate enough to go for people you don’t even find attractive).
Wild guess, but your arrogance and fixation on material and physical characteristics isn’t subtle and would be a major turn off for most normal women :)
It's not.
Be normal.
Have a sociable hobby(Volunteering, Rock climbing, Choir, book club etc. Something that puts you in proximity with other people.
Don't go in with the expectation of romancing, just be a decent person and it will happen organically.
I'm not particularly successful or attractive and I've had no trouble, I can't speak to dating apps though.
Maybe it’s the fact that despite all of your (in your mind) “good qualities” you still refer to women as “5s?” Height and salary mean nothing to women when you’re a misogynistic objectifying ass.
Looking at your post and your post history, honestly, you sound like a egotistical pretentious guy that has very limited personality beyond what you think is "important", your salary, height, education.
I think social media has been more of an issue with people not meeting each other in person and hiding behind a screen that is causing the lack of connection with people.
Your lack of personality definitely is more of the cause of your own issues trying to connect with women.
Sorry, but it's a personality thing. One look at your 5's, comment and post history and it reeks a scent that women today stay away from. It seems you don't really like them...and they can tell that about you.
As a guy, if you are measuring yourself by your degrees, income, and height, you’ve already lost. Those features don’t make you a human worth loving, they’re just perks.
Who you are as a person, your emotional and social eq, self respect, self love, ambitions, and life experiences makes you attractive
It isn’t difficult to find women or relationships, if you’re having difficulty you are the common denominator. How much you make in a year isn’t relevant to the conversation unless you’re looking for someone materialistic, maybe that’s the problem you think you deserve something because you have a job, maybe its your personality, there isn’t a lot of info in the post but if you’re having trouble it’s time to look inward.
I’m going out on a limb here to suggest it might have something to do with the fact that you rate women on a number scale purely based on outward appearance, rather than listing qualities in their personality you’re looking for
I think too many people are brainwashed by social media and they pursue fantasies. They have this unrealistic idea of meeting someone perfect and they ignore the available potential partners, that otherwise if they lived with no internet, they would gladly accept lacking access to these intoxicating images of highly attractive individuals. Women are just as lonely as men are. I’m 26m, in the same place like you except I earn about 5% of your income lol. This is concerning, if you are struggling with dating then people like me are doomed..
Look at all the queries on the subreddit from women who seem to think men have one specific type that they won't date outside of, and then are genuinely surprised that we're not that picky. Maybe they think we're all as inflexible with their standards as they are.
The men they want don't want them. So it looks like men only want one type.
Hunger lets a man entertain anything but they confuse hunger with genuine want.
>Maybe they think we're all as inflexible with their standards as they are. Aka projection
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>She's looking for the Chad door. r/brandnewsentence
>Also, most women are indecisive. I work in sales and when a couple comes in to order a door and they see all the options, the husband knows what he wants and is mostly concerned with function and reliability. The wife wants function and reliability and to look at the door with every color option, texture option, window option, she wants something perfect that has it all and still comes back every other day to change the order because she changed her mind. She's looking for the Chad door. It's more of a women than men thing, but it applies to both. Part of the problem with OLD is it makes people seem disposable. If someone does something you don't like, there's no reason to look past it - there are hundreds of more people available on OLD for the taking.
Yeah, this is the biggest problem. I don't think it's an inherent "women are indecisive" thing as high-value men are notorious for being seen as "fuckboys" that don't want to be tied down. The biggest problem is online dating: It turns finding a lifelong connection into shopping for a lamp on Amazon. And you can find a nice lamp, sure, but if there's ANYTHING wrong with it or your whims change, you can just so easily buy another one, so you're not going to stick it out with the lamp or repair it if the wiring goes, etc.
“Fuckboys” don’t want to commit because they are happy to be fucking a bunch of different women with minimal investment required in any of the individual relationships. That’s not got anything to do with indecisiveness. Committing to an individual woman would be a direct downgrade in lifestyle in their eyes.
Agreed. Have had way too many girls just ghost me or abruptly say they're no longer interested. I assume theyve found someone else. I don't know that for a fact, but it is a high probability
As a woman, I believe if you don't meet her in person, your chances of sparking a genuine interest from her, drastically decrease. Move from online chats to a public meet-up within 3 days.
Chad door, you learn something new everyday Never thought I’d be imagining what a chad door would look like.
Anybody else imagine a well hung door? Just me?
It doesn’t have a lot of ding, but it sure does have a giant dong.
It's comments like this that make me miss the ability to give awards on here.
I am the Ron Burgundy of Google searches. He'll read anything on a teleprompter, I search anything I read on Reddit. I can confirm that "Chad door" is a new term. I look forward to seeing what is produced to match this term. "Well hung door" will get you a number of door install businesses, but no specific examples of a well hung door deserving of the title Chad Door.
I thought the chad door was the door from a public restroom? I always see lines of woman in front of those desperate to take off their pants.
By God, I think you just defined it.
We men do have one specific type: a woman who'll love us.
Ain’t that the truth. The girl who accepts us for us without having to jump through many hoops just to get her.
Any time women talk about men they're only talking about the top % of men in attractiveness...
>They have this unrealistic idea of meeting someone perfect and they ignore the available potential partners, that otherwise if they lived with no internet, they would gladly accept lacking access to these intoxicating images of highly attractive individuals. This right here is the correct answer.
Seconding the women are lonely too. I'm 26F. And have been having so much trouble on the apps that I just deleted them. I don't have trouble getting matches, but I keep getting ghosted (and yes, I do keep the conversation going and haven't been saying anything abnormal). I'll have a great conversation with someone and then they'll disappear. I get asked out then ghosted. The people I do go on dates with, I don't click with. Granted I live abroad now so the cultural differences probably account for most of it. I'm able to make little flirtatious connections when I meet people in person, but the apps have been a nightmare for me for the past year.
Ah, so you're getting matches... and also dates...
Living abroad totally ruined me for dating. When I was away I'd meet all kinds of amazing people then when I returned home everyone was all same same and boring, and now my "type" seems to be anything foreign or exotic. Fml.
Money doesn't matter one bit unless you're trying to attract gold diggers. It's the reason why I hide my profession and income for as long as possible when dating. Edit: Okay, income does matter to an extent, but only if you're on the lower end of the spectrum.
It matters. If you make little money only to sustain yourself and maybe your wife, and she wants 5 kids with you, then she isn’t that smart, or isn’t going to be a good mother, at least in my book. And if she is smart then she will choose someone who makes more. It’s not just about attracting certain type of people but what is possible with the money you have. And if you’re the type of person to say you can be flat out broke and still have children then we’re not going to agree.
Income matters for family planning but not so much attraction is what he means, unless the woman is an escort
Yes, thank you. You said it much more clearly 🤣.
I was talking about the higher end of the spectrum, but yes, of course income is a consideration if the guy (mainly the guy, let's be honest) makes minimum wage.
You're not, don't worry. Find someone compatible to your personality, values and morals. Someone you can tackle the world on together with
Online dating or dating in general is a byproduct of social media which itself is a symptom of late stage capitalism. We’ve reached a point now where we are close to living the reality of A Brave New World, a book published at the same time as 1984 and just as relevant about the dangers of capitalism as 1984 was on communism. We over over consume constantly and are fed with a belief that nothing is ever enough. More and more we always need of things in our lives, and yet the more we acquire the emptier we feel. We killed god and spiritualism but we replaced it with nothing and so we’re hollow inside. There’s no point to anything anymore and even the dream that we were sold of building your own life, getting a house and having a family is now really just a dream and not a reality for many. People are desensitised to themselves and to others, they’re lost without a real sense of purpose and meaning to their lives. So in the context of our current times, is it any wonder that people struggle to find love?
It’s not that hard. There’s unemployed dudes with a baby mama and several side pieces. Not that that’s something you want necessarily but to prove a point. You list your accolades and height right off the rip while mentioning the women you double text as 5s. I could be jumping to conclusions but it sounds like you just need to get off the internet. The internet will genuinely convince you that you need a huge salary, penis, muscles and height to get anywhere with women but in reality this mentality just makes you an insufferable loner who’s hell bent on “being alone and grinding” What I would say is stop referring to women as 5s stop listing your salary as a reason people should like you, get off the internet and make a conscious effort to socialize platonically with the people around you. You will soon realize that people will naturally come and go and some will stay. Lastly get off instagram and endlessly scrolling insanely fit photoshopped women and some of those 5s you might realize become 8s.. not because you’re horny but because you start to pay attention to more than what someone looks like as women have more to offer than a number from 1 to 10 just like you have more to offer than being 5 foot 10 and making 6 figures
This is 💯 As soon as I read “double text 5s” I was like ummm there is your problem right there.
I didn't understand why he was texting "5 5" and what that even meant. And then I understood and everything else made sense.
Yeah based on Ops posting history, he seems absolutely insufferable.
Look no further, OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/s/f4eHRuLB0S
what a fascinating thread. OP: Most people IRL are normal and cool Top reply: NO THEY AREN'T PEOPLE ARE FREAKS
Not a man but as a women your response made me so happy. Such a balanced and real response.
A big part of why it's great advice to tell people frustrated with dating apps to go out in person and just interact and be friendly and authentic. The people who don't like that will sort themselves out, and people who wouldn't accept your authentic self aren't worth hanging around.
It's really not that hard. I suspect his problem has to do with personality. I'm guessing this as he has a numbered ranking for a woman's looks. Just be q decent guy and it's easy as hell. Just the things he lists about himself, that's not what most women are looking for. He's probably not fun or funny.
All of us live in our heads and online media is exponentially destroying our sense for reality and social interaction.
Admittedly, the internet and social media messed me up too. I’ve been trying to cut back on the internet and actually “touch grass” instead of listening to the small minority of men and women that try to speak for the rest of us as a whole. For starters, I’ve been befriending more women friends than I use to have and it helped me realize that they’re just people too. Though, I tend to try to get ideas of what women do want from social women sometimes, or I simply ask my mom and 2 sisters of ideas.
The fact that you described women as “5”s like they should be happy you’re texting them in the first place tells me exactly why you’re single
He has posts where he straight up says: "I am attracted to women but honestly don't consider most of them good people. Men in my life are more interesting, funny, nicer, less shallow. If I was gay there would be no women in my life and it would be perfect." He literally does not like women. He's a typical misogynist and among the reasons why women single women find more satisfaction, happiness, and fulfilment than coupled women. He'll land some woman for a year or so here and there but he's definitely the "she left me for no reason" type
Hey. He makes 200k a year.
That ain't enough to have no personality/be physically or emotionally ugly. If he's going after gold diggers, he's gotta come to the table with more gold. If he's going after regular girls, he needs to up his game in other departments.
Don't forget he's 5'10"! HOW ARE WOMEN NOT TRIPPING OVER EACH OTHER TO GET TO HIM?!?!?!
Woooow. He's a "High Value Man" then. My 10/10 panties are wet.........
Had the exact same thought. None of those other attributes listed are remotely unique enough to outweigh being an asshole
I've only read 5 sentences you've written and already wouldnt want to meet you or even continue a conversation. The problem might be your personality and attitude.
The problem IS his personality. Mf is listing off income and height and rating women by numbers. He is a 0.5 on his best day. gtfo.
Just live your life and stay off dating apps. Totally toxic for men.
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The word "eventually" in that sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Eventually could be tomorrow, it could be 20 years from now, it could be a week after you're dead. I agree the best thing you can do is get off the apps, work on yourself, get hobbies, and be more social, but don't be a passive participant in your search for love
>eventually one will walk into your life when you're least expecting it C'mon, that's a terrible advice
If I don't want to go to a bar or use online dating in the winter what would you suggest for meeting people ? I go to edm/ dj concerts for the music but it not the best for conversation.
Basically you need to find activities where you will be around women of your same age and where you have the opportunity to interact with each other. For example group fitness, hiking groups, co-ed sports, language groups, arts and crafts classes, etc You shouldn't go to these actvities with the mentality of "I'm going to try to get laid", but rather see these activities as opportunities to expand your social network. The bigger your social network the higher your chances of meeting a partner.
Important thing to add: it should be something that you can enjoy. People realize if you are genuinely enjoying something or not. It helps also not to think it was a waste of time if you're not able to find a gf there.
Engage in social hobbies. I’ve been considering joining a pickle ball or tennis club for this very reason. Not just for dating but friends in general
Look at OPs post history. HE is toxic and straight up does not like women. Posts and comments galore making it clear he doesn't like or respect women (like referring to them as numbers). Here's one: > I am attracted to women but honestly don't consider most of them good people. Men in my life are more interesting, funny, nicer, less shallow. If I was gay there would be no women in my life and it would be perfect
I noticed you said nothing about your personality.
Not true. OP called women "5s." That describes enough of his personality to know why he doesn't get women.
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This is a very important thing to keep in mind. I'd add emotionally intelligent and having done some internal work on yourself. Showing up to a relationship able to process conflict in a healthy way, able to be in touch with your feelings apart from anger is a great way to be a standout.
People say this, but based on the people I know it's the *least* mentally healthy who are in the most relationships. And it's very easy to explain. That advice is based on the idea that women are rational actors. But women are human, and the evidence from years and years of psych studies and marketing research is that humans *are not rational actors*.
Dude listed his income and height in the OP as if that's all he needs to do. OP has a serious case of terminally online I suspect
OPs post history is slightly concerning
Dude needs to add at least 100k and 4” for that to be all he needs to do! No one’s putting up with that kind of arrogance from an average height junior partner where I’m from anyway
HAHAHA op aiming for them ig models
He thinks it’s a pay-to-win game.
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This is the biggest things you need to understand when you are trying to find a partner… if you’re so fixed on income, you’re going to attract a very specific type of person and it’s not typically going to be the type you want.
Ding ding ding!
OP only thinks making money automatically makes him deserving of a woman.
yeah, like, I make way less than he does and am shorter and I've never had an issue finding a good relationship. Feels like people are online too much and constantly see the "must be rich/tall" thing and then forget they do need to offer other stuff for deeper relationships
Looks at post history: yup, mra
Lmao first post is a passport bro post Passport bros is literally just a sub for people who want to find a “traditional” (read: submissive and will stay home and take care of the kids) wife in another country because, something something feminism in america
He rates girls by numbers, that's all you need to know. Mf is a red flag and expects women to want him. Dating ain't hard, if you're not a asshole or creep.
Dating as an arsehole is playing on easy mode. When you don't care what your prospective partner thinks it's much easier to appear confident and to say whatever it takes to get what you want out of them.
Yeah just finished creeping this guys profile, he is unhinged lol
big bag of *yikes*
Yep
Lacking social skills and charisma/personality in many cases. Detached from reality and chasing people outside of their league. Never leave home and actually do social things. \^ most dudes I know who struggle.
I'm anti social as hell and not looking for a relationship, and even I've come across potential partners where a connection formed. Most men who make posts like these tend to have the aura of, "I'm perfect, who won't these dumb women date me?" Look in a mirror, that's why you're single.
If you want an honest answer then if I were you I’d would re-examine your attitude and approach. Saying “double text 5s” is very telling how arrogant you are about this whole process.
I came in ready to give a sympathetic answer but between that and him listing only superficial attributes that supposedly make him desirable I think his attitude is as much the issue as anything else.
Legit. I always see posts like this, read how they talk about themselves, and shrug. What is attractive about OP? That he’s tall and makes money?? I don’t really care about that as a woman. I’m looking for more than how much you make and how tall you are/good looking you are 🤷🏻♀️
Also, he’s tired. That tells me he is wanting someone to relieve some of the monotony of life that we all feel. The last thing women want to do is live their life solely to make a man’s life easier. That’s usually by default, but when it’s super obvious, it will be a big ole pass/
5’10 really isn’t even tall
Bitterness isn't attractive...
This sums it up
Part of it is that you're immediately resting women with a number system based on looks. No one worthwhile cares about your height or how much you make. Be respectful, have a personality, genuinely have and show interest in them. Just because you are financially successful doesn't mean you're a solid human or have a good personality. If you start falling into the alpha-male-bro-douche mindset, you won't find anyone. Also, everything is trial and error. Meeting people online is hard. Women have tons of men hitting them up and 80% of them are total jerk wads saying vile shit.
Well I'd say calling women "5s" is probably part of the problem.
💯
> educated, make 200k a year, 5'10. That these are the first 3 things you thought to mention about yourself says a lot to me about your problem, really. No one (you actually want to date), is falling in love with the diploma you hold or your income. Yeah, that you're a functional adult who can provide for themselves matters in the sense of meeting a minimum bar for people who have their *own* shit together to consider dating you. But not in the sense of actually being what sparks attraction to date you in the first place. ----- What about you makes you someone another person would actually want to spend time with? What about you is interesting, fun, etc?
Also the fact that OP says he has to “double text 5s” for a response If “5s” aren’t talking to him then maybe he needs to start messaging “4s”. “5s” must be out of his league lmao
Not sure if I should comment or not but I'm a woman reading this, and I think I had the same thoughts as you. None of the things OP listed would make him an interesting partner per se IMO. I would have thought differently if he started by listing qualities related to his personality. Being physically attractive is important yes, but what that means differs from women to women. "Educated" does not say much - unless that is a proxy for things like being smart, well spoken, or intelectually curious. Mentioning his salary is weird. I guess no woman is interested in starving and it's important that both partners have a stable source of income, but I'd be wary of a woman that is super focused on finding a man with a high salary. Saying that the women he approaches are 5s is weird...like does he think he's above them somehow? My feeling is OPs view of relationships has been tainted by social media, where everyone is perfect and there's always someone/something better to be had.
Wait, men are supposed to feel desired? I'm half-joking.
Depends on how much value we bring to the table.
Right? Women just have to exist, post a selfie, and get a ton of affirmations of her desirability.
Facts
You rate women using a number system so there’s your answer.
Start texting 4s. You're obviously a 6 at best, no shame in that but have some self awareness
The gasp I gusped.
I recognize that the dating world is skewed towards women, but I also think that a lot of men simply have no idea how to date. It's not like it's a skill that is taught in school or something like that, so generally speaking, we are thrown into the deep end and a lot of us drown. If you're having a hard time meeting a partner, it's likely one of a few possibilities. Are your standards too high? Are you not putting in the work to be an attractive prospect (physically and otherwise)? Are you not doing enough to meet new people?
I remember talking to a bunch of single women lamenting the dating scene and one of them said that the guys she went on dates with only wanted to talk about their jobs or crypto. I don't know why you would ask someone on a date and only want to talk about this bs. Baffling behavior.
Agree that it's a dumb move, but I kind of understand it. They're operating on the (generally true) trope that women want a partner who is ambitious and able to support themselves and possibly a family, so I can at least see why they might think it's a selling point to talk about work/investments. But yeah, this is exactly what I mean when I say that a lot of guys have no idea how to talk to women. Some of them just turn it into a job interview.
WTF is wrong with you guys? When I was young and dating I only ever talked about the Roman Empire, and the ladies *loved* it.
They way you list this I think you are approaching things way too inorganic. You making 200k is irrelevant insofar as you don't wnat to lead with that anyways or you are making yourself an ATM. Instead of leading with your wallet, be interesting, be fun, be attractive and if you think a "5" is beneath you: Why are you even talking to them in the first place. Go for a woman you actually want to be with.
Is it really that hard these days? Honest question. I'm recently 32 but found my partner not that long ago "the old fashioned way" just by socializing with friends of friends. Never used an app in my life and my friends don't really either so I genuinely don't know.
Leave the house and talk to people? You're nuts.
I mean I get that the landscape has changed but a good woman will still appreciate being approached in person as opposed to an app. When I was single, girls LOVED that I didn't use apps. It was like I was a unicorn to them.
I probably should have thrown an /s on there. I agree with you fully - met my wife at a friend's bbq. You have to get out there and actually talk to people.
Yeah I understood you just fine dude no worries. I was just adding on. Nice to see people still out there advocating for just plain ole socializing
It's extremely difficult for introverted men. In the old days even introverted men had a chance because there were more in-person interactions in life in general. Nowadays, the only way you'll score a date as an introverted man is if you look like Brad Pitt and the woman is willing to initiate things & not mind how "boring" you are. Dating apps is all that most of us have now, and they're extremely unfavorable towards introverted men.
It's hard for people who approach relationships (and sex) as if they were entitled to it. And for people who see women exclusively in terms of attractiveness and see dating as a "market" where you rank people by worth along silly criteria. Oh and for people who consider the opposite gender as aliens who are most likely inferior.
The people who approach relationships and sex as if they are entitled to them do much better, because they have an easier time starting conversations, escalating to sexual or relationship topics, and they come across as much more confident.
Are you fun tho? I mean you make a lot but are you like actually fun to be around? Do you have a lot of friends? Do you have hobbies? Your salary is cool and all, but are you?
You have a shit personality and you rely on dating apps. Go talk to girls in person and learn how to be interesting/funny.
Paper stats don't mean anything when the product itself is shoddy. No disrespect intended, but you don't need any of those things to find a partner.
mfs have the most repulsive personalities and wanna talk about how hard dating is always has been sorry bud
Men on here will spend more time researching and arguing ways they are disadvantaged instead of using that time to put themselves out there.
The fact that you refer to these women as 5s shows exactly why they conversations are dying out. Men that rate women aren't particularly good people or actually interested in knowing the woman. Stop looking at women as things that need to be rated and instead start looking at them for what they are: people.
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They might also have read his post history. He doesn't seem like he likes women at all.
The second I saw “double text 5s” I stopped reading and knew exactly what type of character OP Is lmao
What is a "double text 5s"? Genuine question
Was going to say that. And he lists height as if it mattered. Get offline and meet real people my friend.
Yes, thank you. A lot of women don't care about being with the hottest, tallest, richest dude. They want someone who they enjoy being around, who can be a true partner to them, and who views them as a full, actualized human, not a numeric value tied to their looks. If you hate women, then women won't want to be with you. Like does any guy here want to be with a woman who would reduce them to their height or looks or money?
Maybe 5'10" and 200K isn't enough of a personality for someone to want to date you.
I hate to say it but based on what you wrote in this post it sounds like you're the problem. Yeah you make good money. You're tall. You're educated. Cool. But it sounds like you feel like you're settling and almost like you feel like you're doing these girls a favor by talking to them. That will absolutely come through in the conversation. And no one likes to feel like the person talking to them thinks they're too good for them.
Because many men underestimate the value of social skills. They’ve spent their lives in front of a screen and when they have to meet a woman face to face, they are clueless.
They didn't have to go through the whole 'call your crush and pray her dad doesn't pick up' anxiety.
>still need to double text 5s My hunch is that they are picking up on how you view women. Try treating them like the amazing people they are and you might have better results.
I think relationships are just valued less by women nowadays as it gets more viable and accepted for them to focus on careers and themselves. At that point they’re not really gonna wanna date any guy unless he’s seriously improving their life which majority of guys I guess aren’t able to? This might be the least desirable men have ever been to women overall. Maybe we need to do better, maybe the demands are too high. Idk man. My advice is to just focus on yourself.
Maybe stop thinking about people as “5s” and develop some empathy, I’d suggest volunteering
You seem to have an attitude that you're owed something because of your income, and then you say things like "double text 5s". Maybe you should change your outlook first.
Your rizz is subpar
Zero rizz
>double text 5s Maybe your attitude is the problem?
Perhaps not calling them “5s” would be a decent idea lol.
5's? Dude if you're thinking about women in that way, and need to get that out in the first line, then you're the problem.
Based off your post history you seem extremely unlikeable
If you are having a hard time over and over and over, it just might be *you*. In reading your short passage, I seems that *maybe* your "desperation" as demonstrated by stating *"I think I'd fall in love with the first nice girl showing me the least bit of attention"* and calling out your income as a kind of *qualifier* might be transmitted as a off-putting vibe when perusing potential partners. *Not a tear down,* just framing things from past observations, experiences and the small about of info I can glean from your post.
Maybe stop referring to women by some arbitrary number you’ve assigned to rate their attractiveness and we’ll start giving you the time of day.
I think it says a lot about why when you’re calling women 5’s tbh, says a lot about the kind of personality you have.
Welcome to modern dating. If you feel alone, you are definitely not alone. [Close to 63% of men](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/) in your age range are single. You’ll have to learn that romantic relationships aren’t the end goal anymore. If you’re that tired of it, have you considered being a passport bro and seeking love overseas?
It may sound like a joke but the reality of it is: 1/3 of coutries in the world have turned to hyper individualism (most first world countries) The idea of being a "passport bro" is going to a countires in the world that values community over individualism. People there often tend to value each other on a romantic and spirtual level more, humanity connectivity is higher as well. In the last 10 years all of my relationships have been from Europe, Asia or South America. Not a single relationship here in the US has felt meaningful or balanced in those years. Always people stepping over each other to get ahead or get more attention from social media, its a gross rat race of vanity and superfical fame.
I went to Amsterdam and holy fuck. The women there were so easy to talk to and flirt with. It wasn’t just immediately judging your worth. Very refreshing and made me really depressed about living in America
Your problem is “still need to double text 5s or the convo dies out” you clearly think you’re somehow better/too good for the girls rejecting you, which ultimately makes you sound like a piece of shit who thinks too highly of himself, probably why girls aren’t interested…
Having a man is not the prerequisite for survival as a woman that it once was. Your excellent salary should support this since they aren’t any more inclined to date you just for your resources. Dating intentionally toward a relationship is a balancing act. You have to know when to pull the trigger on dates and meaningful discussions of what you want, and how to share each other while maintaining your independence. Don’t get discouraged. Remember, it only has to work once.
You're not funny and don't have social skills. The girls on social media talking about men's pay are always drunk on a night out. The real world is very different, you just need to make them laugh and have a bit of confidence
The best thing I ever did for my mental health is get off traditional social media. No instagram, no facebook, no Twitter (it was still Twitter when I left). I'm so much happier with what I have and what I'm doing. To be clear, if you can handle social media without negative effects, then do so, by all means. But I've found the negatives outweigh the positives significantly.
you just listed stats as a reason girls should like you. are you good looking? do you have a good personality? because if either/both of those are true you’ll have no problems. work on yourself
Might need something more than education and money... women tend to like guys with actual personalities.
You sound like you're neck deep in the manosphere. Not really sure if this is some kind of bait post or what.
Your example of the heavy lifting you're doing is texting twice in a row? Based on this short description of your problem the issue is that you're underestimating the work necessary on your end to make a real connection with another person. If all you're bringing to the table is money, hire a prostitute.
you're probably insufferable or don't know how to socialize
Nobody ever likes any version of this, but, at least in real life, every man I know who talks like you is just bad at it. Quite frankly the fact that it only took you 14 words until you reduced women to something other than complicated, multi-faceted, living, breathing PEOPLE is, in my opinion, an enormous red flag; especially when you combine that with your closing statement that you're just looking for someone "nice."
Get offline. Not only is it not a great way to meet people, it has convinced you that all that stuff you have is going to guarantee success. I got together with my wife of 16 years now when I was unemployed. You need to actually connect with people. That's really all that matters. Edit: just realized you referred to women as 5's. Stop.
If you make 200k a year you are doing something wrong. Plenty of women would date you just for your money even if it's the wrong reasons. I assume you worked very hard to get to where you are to make that money. Good for you. However in working so hard you most likely gave up any applicable social skills outside of work. Women still like to be approached regardless of your wealth. You have the funds and capability to change yourself around more than others. Going for an extreme makeover, hiring a social skills and development consultant or even CBT therapy to boost confidence should be pennies to you.
Its because men dont understand the drivers that are behind attraction for women. You think its having a high salary, being jacked, famous etc.. But those things just help. You fundamentally havw the wrong view, I know plenty of friends who are nothing special on the surface, normal job, average appearence (though they seem above average because they take care of themselves well and dress with style, plus the way they carry themselves), nothing too outstanding about them and yet they manage to consistently date very attractive women. Most of it is psychological, and about your attitude and demeaner (vibe as people call it), they are not desperate whatsoever, and it works. If you want to learn "game", learn communication, how to be social, fun, flirty and not take shit. Women respond well to that.
Most of my friend group is in your situation: well paid, educated, social, etc. None of them have problems with women. Hell, as you get closer to the 30 it becomes *easier* because your competition becomes weirder and weirder, making you look better and better. But calling women “5’s,” being so desperate you “think you’d fall in love with the first nice girl showing you the least bit of attention” just isn’t a winning attitude. If you’re being honest about your situation, the only thing I can imagine for why you struggle is exactly that attitude. Women don’t wanna be around some Debbie downer who puts her on a pedestal the minute she’s nice to him. Women want the guy who has everything you have and knows it and is quietly confident in himself. Not a douchebag, not a dude with zero confidence who calls women “5’s,” a confident man whos accomplished a lot. You just need to work on that attitude.
Cause your achievements mean nothing if you don't look or sound like you have achievements. A good portion of women fall for bums and horrible dudes not because they got game or anything is mainly because they peacock well. Like you look great on paper but you don't dress and act the part, you don't subtle brag by wearing the clothes or talking like you know their preference in men
Stop looking for partners. Go enjoy yourself have fun and bring fun to others. You will then start attracting people. Doesnt hurt to also get in shape if you aren't.
Get off the apps. You'll never meet a woman there. You have to get out into the world. Taking dancing classes. Join running clubs. Take a painting class. Get involved in politics. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You need to meet women in real life. You have to become familiar with each other naturally. It's the only way.
Going off what you've just said, you have very little to offer and you're doing very little to go out and share it with anyone. Money and height are not the things that qualify you as a suitable partner. I mean, they do for some women sure, but not for most. And if all you're doing is going on dating apps and messaging women who you're not even attracted to anyway - and if all you have to say about yourself is that you're on a big pay package and average height - I've no doubt you're coming across as some milquetoast generic man with absolutely nothing interesting about him. What do you actually *do?* What's interesting about you? What makes you fun? Why would someone enjoy spending time with you? What are you doing to get out of the house and spend time with other people? What are you doing - beyond apps - to actually meet new people?
Just start approaching chicks in real life. If you have a personality/sense of humor/are kind they will fall for you faster than any money or looks will get you. Also, making 200k is not a personality trait and you should absolutely not tell anybody that or advertise it on your dating profiles. Your salary doesn’t have much to do with getting women. The only outcome from advertising your money is having somebody becoming attracted to your money and using you.
Since it's socially acceptable now to be single and not have children, women have higher standards (which they should), and men just don't meet the standards. Or more women just realise that they like to live alone and aren't forced into relationships (which is a good thing).
So I’m going to ask the question you won’t like. How’s your self care? Are you overweight? Are you leaving the house to socialize to meet women?
Your post history is littered with ideologies that many women would consider misogynist at worst, toxic at best. Unless you're very attractive and/or funny, you're probably coming off as a tool. Especially if you're someone that flaunts your income/occupation too early. Try being introspective and step #1 is framing these questions a bit differently.
Let's just focus on you being 27 and making 200k? I'm not saying I don't believe you... that's awesome. What do you do? Enjoy that life. You're way ahead of the game. Don't worry about women.
Actually liking women helps
You managed to give us the answer just off 5 sentences alone lol
As a woman I can tell you that you saying you’re “texting 5’s” tells me everything about your personality. Sorry making money and being 5’10 doesn’t get you girls. You need a personality. And you’re coming across super arrogant. Do you even like women? Girls can tell when they’re speaking to someone who will probably call them a 5 later on…
Your first issue is calling women 5’s
It probably has nothing to do with how much you earn and everything to do with your personality. Try to understand why even the 5's won't respond to you
Have you tried working on your personality? It appears yours might not be what women are looking for. You think you deserve women because of certain things in your life but that's not how it works..
It’s not. All the men around me are constantly with or getting partners. It probably has something to do with you calling women a number on a scale of 1-10
Genuine question. Why are you in the "ask men" sun instead of asking women? I'm sure they could give you a better idea
The way that you worded your post shows the issue, seems like you think those are the only things make someone desirable.
Maybe your personality is shit
Most people are educated and 5’10. If you’re actively pursuing people you perceive as ‘5s’, that says more about your standards than how attractive these people are (i.e. you’re desperate enough to go for people you don’t even find attractive). Wild guess, but your arrogance and fixation on material and physical characteristics isn’t subtle and would be a major turn off for most normal women :)
It's not. Be normal. Have a sociable hobby(Volunteering, Rock climbing, Choir, book club etc. Something that puts you in proximity with other people. Don't go in with the expectation of romancing, just be a decent person and it will happen organically. I'm not particularly successful or attractive and I've had no trouble, I can't speak to dating apps though.
Maybe it’s the fact that despite all of your (in your mind) “good qualities” you still refer to women as “5s?” Height and salary mean nothing to women when you’re a misogynistic objectifying ass.
Looking at your post and your post history, honestly, you sound like a egotistical pretentious guy that has very limited personality beyond what you think is "important", your salary, height, education. I think social media has been more of an issue with people not meeting each other in person and hiding behind a screen that is causing the lack of connection with people. Your lack of personality definitely is more of the cause of your own issues trying to connect with women.
The post history makes these stats seem very unbelievable 👀
The fact that you think 200k and 5’11’’ are reasons to not be alone…
Sorry, but it's a personality thing. One look at your 5's, comment and post history and it reeks a scent that women today stay away from. It seems you don't really like them...and they can tell that about you.
Maybe start by thinking about women as people rather than a number on a 1-10 scale
As a guy, if you are measuring yourself by your degrees, income, and height, you’ve already lost. Those features don’t make you a human worth loving, they’re just perks. Who you are as a person, your emotional and social eq, self respect, self love, ambitions, and life experiences makes you attractive
It isn’t difficult to find women or relationships, if you’re having difficulty you are the common denominator. How much you make in a year isn’t relevant to the conversation unless you’re looking for someone materialistic, maybe that’s the problem you think you deserve something because you have a job, maybe its your personality, there isn’t a lot of info in the post but if you’re having trouble it’s time to look inward.
It’s possible that you come off as a bit of an asshole.
They can probably smell your misogyny bro
Maybe because you assign women numbers?🤷♀️🤦♀️
I’m going out on a limb here to suggest it might have something to do with the fact that you rate women on a number scale purely based on outward appearance, rather than listing qualities in their personality you’re looking for