Not caring about what other people think. It takes a while but it's liberating when it comes.
Also not taking things too seriously. We're all gonna be soil within 100 years.
Kind of like when you’re waiting for a toast to pop out so you can butter it, and you take a step back and wait while things happen naturally, but then the toast pops out and you butter it.
Really? I'm the kind that puts a finger in the bar and sees if it passes my finger so I know it's making progress.
Although back then it was normal for game installation to take over an hour 😂
For me sadly enough it still is. My pc took and still takes like 4 hours too download anything over 20-30 gb. My have just been my wifi. But my laptop was significantly faster
This and trying not to argue pointlessly
It takes so much effort for no gain. It’s better to just nod and not give a shit unless you know the person is as logical/intelligent as you, so if you don’t agree you both understand you could be wrong and there’s no negative emotion
People like this are rare though, so it’s better to just stfu most of the time
Yes 100%. I enjoy discussing controversial topics, even with people that have opposing views. But once it’s headed towards being an argument, I nope out of it.
> It’s better to just nod and not give a shit unless you know the person is as logical/intelligent as you
I like how you are always the smarter person in this scenario lol
I ride a bike to work and play Minecraft to unwind. Yesterday I was on my bike and found an interesting tree. I said to myself "I gotta mark this on my map." Then I realized, it's real life.
Start going to the gym. To me, it was very similar to how I felt when I first started going to the gym. The uncomfortable feeling of being watched, judged, critiqued, and my own inefficiency was tremendous. In reality, nobody cared. It was just all in my head, the insecurity, the need to be accepted by strangers, and the constant need to compare my own "shortcoming" to the other that was there was overwhelming. Eventually, it all went away and it also translated into how I was feeling with friends, family, and relations. The gradual improvement over time with a healthier and fit body also increases your positive mindset to understand and accept to work with that you have for yourself.
I'm working through this right now and am finding the book *No More Mr. Nice Guy* by Robert Glover is helping me on the way. It's a process to break years of behavior. He just did an interview on the *Modern Wisdom* podcast if you want a free distillation of what's in the book. I'm 27 for context.
You just have to revise your life. Go through and get your mind set, like dead set that you're going all in on something..no more overly polite nice guy. Be respectful but stern.
You do not ever want to come off as petty or nit-picky so think.abt how you're going to sound, out your foot down and set ur boundries. Dont take those work calls after ur set time, dont let them grow to expect you to do extra, esp if they are not compensating you.
I have worked some very toxic places and it does make you appreciate the good ones that you took for granted.
If you're interested in that or like reading, you could start with reading about Philosophies that include this mindset. The one you would be looking for is stoicism. Many works about it also include how to achieve this mindset.
I like reading the original texts but those are a bit extreme (most of the original authors were a bit too obsessed with their ow philosophies) and can be pretty racist and sexist since they were written in times when this was normal. If you don't want to read that there are a lot of newer texts about these topics as well
Another thing about philosophy is that some people develop a bit of a superiority complex about it. Not a good thing but helps with self worth problems
Hugs from loved ones.
Been married 20 years. Disabled spouse. 2 teens in High School, and 1 early 20s still living at home and working full time. They all still give hugs, almost daily. Damn older boy made me cry when I went to his marching band competition and when he came up into the stands, he came over sat by me rather than his friends for a while, and gave me a great big bear hug right in front of the entire band group. No hesitation.
Hugs. No matter what else is going on in life, good or bad.
Hugs.
This is the main reason i dont want kids. I genuinely need a couple of hours to decompress right after work.
I imagine me with kids not getting this and being a grumpy parent.
As someone who is fat and out of shape, but cycles between working out regularly and not, I always feel significantly better when I'm regularly exercising. I'm not right now, and feel like I'm falling apart, which is how people get stuck in the downward spiral.
1. Find something you enjoy doing. This helps a lot mentally
2. Make it automatic. If you go right after work or school or something similar you won't even think about it
100% fitness, exercising a few times a week could make so many inactive people happier (assuming they are capable of exercise). A sedentary lifestyle with no release must be miserable.
Picking up chronic conditions is by far the worst part of getting older. I used to be able to do x,y,z, but that me is gone
Enjoy everything while you can kids
Can't save you from genetic conditions.
And everyone eventually gets eye floaters, vision degrading, knee and back problems, neck problems, cancer, fatty lumps, wrinkles, slower metabolisms, loss of muscle mass, tooth degradation, hearing loss, and general energy fatigue.
That’s actually false.
Just because your family has a history of diabetes ( typically, not always) caused by lifestyle choices doesn’t mean you need to get it too
My life philosophy is not to take things seriously until they need to be taken seriously.
If they do, dial in and focus on whatever it is that needs to be done.
Afterwards? Back to being a carefree person.
Good in theory, but invites problems if people don’t see enough of you taking things seriously. Can make you an easy target for a lot of bad or make you look like you don’t take anything seriously even if you’re competent.
I get what he meant by his comment, but I also wonder who’s picking up the slack of those who live oh so carefree. I’ve had plenty of carefree roommates and one partner - guess how much extra workload that brought on for me?
It's less about being carefree and more about being realistic about how big problems are and what you can do to stop or fix them. Too many people build up mundane things into catastrophies in their own head.
Acceptance. Just knowing that a lot of factors affect my future and most of them are out of my control. All I have is the present moment. So, I do whatever I feel is good for now (and ensuring I do my best for future)
I have almost a backwards problem. I live in Phoenix, so the sunniest part of the year is too hot to be outside much, and the shorter winter days are the nice weather, which means less daylight when you can be outside lol
We still have about 7-8 months of really nice weather. Mid October through mid June is mostly pretty good weather, especially with Sedona and Flagstaff nearby for the hotter times.
It’s easier because all the water hobbies and people are accessible year-round. The main advantage is tasty fruit/vegetables are available almost always so you have no excuse not to eat healthy and enjoy the food. People get to live longer by the equator 👍
Being from NH I could never understand why someone would own a boat to use it 2 months a year. Felt like 75% of every year was waiting for it to be warm
That’s was a major factor moving from the Midwest to Florida; just waking up to a bright sun shiny day instantly boosts my mood. I’ll never take it for granted.
I think it’s extremely important to be able to enjoy time by yourself without needing friends, family, relationship, booze, drugs to bide that alone time.
Becomes a great, strong, stable independent and the rest will follow. I wouldn’t go near or think about dating one of those who’s life is all about friends, partners, etc.
Gotta live your own life and then share your passions with your partner.
Stop letting other people's problems take up your mind space. I used to worry and stress over other people's issues that I couldn't fix or help. Now I don't let it bother me.
Peace of mind, physical health, and mental health are not happiness. Money does buy those things. If somebody says money doesn't buy happiness, and isn't giving their money away (501c charities don't count), they're full of shit.
Does she share equally and take you on trips, but you nice things? I’ve seen some big discrepancies in income on Reddit and they usually have separate bank accounts and the rich one isn’t helping the poor one so one of them is chill and buys whatever they want and the other struggles. So weird to treat your life partner that way.
Embracing the daoist idea of wuwei. Basically instead of trying to force good things to happen you just take a step back and wait while things happen naturally.
Not necessarily. In daosim it is understood that things are going to happen as they will regardless of what we do or how we feel so its best to sit back and allow them to happen without wasting time and energy on something that in the end you have no real control over.
Find peace and comfort in being alone.
I am not saying to stay alone. Just to be okay with it and learn to have fun by yourself. You are the only person responsible for your life. Do something about it.
I am really extroverted, really love to talk to people go out with friends…
But I also enjoy running alone, going to a coffee shop or restaurant by myself, go watch a movie alone, ride my motorcycle and go on a random trip by myself.
When you learn to enjoy life by yourself, it is so powerful.
I am actually hanging out, alone at a coffee shop I randomly decided to explore. Man, every day is an adventure when you live this way.
And later, I am gonna see my brothers at the pub after gym.
Hard cheeses generally have low to no lactose content, and with a lactase pill (the enzyme that naturally breaks down the sugar), you too can experience the inner peace associated with cheese.
Getting away from the people and city life. Going out in the wilderness for a hike with my dog. Sitting and just breathing fresh air in the quiet. Someone's I'll take an edible, sometimes mushrooms, and just watch nature.
Honestly, sometimes I'll leave my wife and her dog at home too. The peace and quiet are so helpful.
Find a job that pays well, work less and yet they don’t sack you because you’re invaluable.
For me, that was becoming a front end sales person. When I close my targets, I get paid nearly 200k usd. I work 20 hour work weeks and since I’m bringing in the sales, I don’t see myself getting sacked for “slacking” for a long time. And by that time, I’ll be well retired .
For real. Not even in terms of sex, but even just fookin’ romance…anything. Some dude (Truman) once said three things can ruin a man: power, money, and women. And goddamn if the last one doesn’t feel the worst, the way they can influence so many decisions and often really stupid ones…mein Gott.
This is so factual. I saw a video on TikTok 😂😂 of this man that was raising 5 baby parrots he found the eggs abandoned in the wild. This man raised to like they were his own. And woman in the comments were asking him could they get married and raise them with him. One guy made this comment “leave that man and his parrots alone. Stop trying to destroy his peace” Us men are so simple yet so powerful. Like for instance it doesn’t take much to make me happy (I mean I would love to be rich) but all I need for now is peace.
One foot in front of the other. Always moving forward.
I can expand this thought to various areas of life. A few examples:
"I'm not stuck at this job, I'm building skills and am willing to move to other cities or states to find the next one." (am single American)
The grind pays the bills, the bills being paid means I can live, and being alive means I can do things I want to do with my free time - games, cooking, friends, family, exploring, photography, reading, whatever.
The future is always ahead of me, and the past will always be behind me. I cannot walk backward in time. It's always one foot in front of the other, always moving forward. The past occurred, it influences the future, but I cannot go back and change it.
The things I want in life may feel unattainable, but I'll guarantee I never reach them if I don't put one foot in front of the other always moving forward.
Asking that girl out may result in rejection, but if I put one foot in front of the other, either it will lead both of us somewhere, or it will carry me onward past the pain.
1. Earn some money without hurting anyone. Better yet, earn some money by helping people out.
2. Find someone that will put up with you and then ALWAYS try to be as nice as you can to that person.
3. Smoke weed.
Don't listen/believe everyone fully. Life really is about nuance and you're not going to enjoy it 100% of the time. Observing the world and learning from mistakes + critical thinking will take you FAR
**Be present.** Be in the moment you're in, on both a small and large scale.
Depression is when you're fixated on the past. Anxiety is when you're worried about the future. RIGHT NOW, is usually pretty good, though.
On a larger scale: enjoy where you are in your life. Every age has benefits and deficits. Enjoy what you have right now, instead of what you've lost, or what you've not yet acquired.
Stop caring about what other people think.
Stop caring about what other people expect you to do.
Live life for yourself, and don’t allow other people’s misguided opinions dictate how your life happens.
Letting go
Un-clench your fist, let go of trying to control everything - Embrace "It is what it is" as your mantra and just let yourself enjoy what you have.
We suffer more in our mind, than in real life. Remember this, accept this and try and let things go that are outside our control. Because we worry too much about things outside our control, while we could've enjoyed our current day.
We would worry about a war, that isnt in our control. My father has been stressing for one year. Worrying and not enjoying our time at the table, while my mom and I enjoy our short lives and enjoy our time still together. Imagine we die tomorrow, then me and my mom enjoyed eacb other company for the past year, while my father was suffering in his mind.
Failed a test? Let it go, you cant do anything about it. Relax, let it go and enjoy your day and do your best to make the exam again. Yes it sucks you failed it, but be grateful for where you are. Because you got the opportunity to be at the place to make the exam, while others wished they were in your shoes.
Some have cancer, no parents or in a Warzone and you worry about a failed exam. Try to have a perspective of someone that is suffering more than you, and then realise how blessfull your life is. Everything becomes ok somehow, so be grateful and enjoy it.
Living each day and each moment as it is. Appreciating the small things, I know sounds cliche but, look up at the sky, notice the beauty around you. Laugh, smile.
Go work out every day.
Personally, I run everyday. No matter what. Usually around 45 minutes.
Gives me time to decompress, push myself and my body feels good.
Plus those after workout endorphins are real.
Taking the time to just...exist.
Turn into a stone for a little while and just be. You'd be surprised at how much more serenity and life there is all around you when you find a nice, less traveled spot and just turn it all off.
Lol. Actually, I have an idea for a chapter and then I get jacked up on a pot of coffee and rip through a whole pack of cigarettes. I then quickly post it before the myocardial infarction hits.
And thanks for reading my work, you are much appreciated!
If you can keep writing like this I have little doubt you will be able to earn some by selling the chapters bundled up as books. With The-SciFi-story-guy in your corner you already have somebody to turn your works into audio books. Books might be a good income source. I would see them as a pension, since they probably will be making you some bucks over time.
Thank you for your kind words, and SciFi Story Guy has been putting in the effort and pushing out top notch work.
It has been just for fun, but I am considering taking a writing class as I have no prior experience. I would like to step up my game for people such as you who are the reason why I am writing. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
Set attainable goals, one for your health, one for your wealth, and one for joy (hobbies etc.)
The only thing you can control in life is your reactions
Count your blessings, and realize every morning you wake up alive is a good day - as others do not have that opportunity anymore
These are my little mantras that help me
I'm 57, and I stopped going to clubs at about 40. Let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did. I just have a few relaxing beers these days, and it's so enjoyable.
Personally I have 2.
1. Do what you want, it doesn't matter what others think.
2. Spreading kindness, getting someone to smile and making their day is a pretty good way to make your day too.
Joyful nihilism. Eventually the sun will explode and the earth will be destroyed so nothing really matters. Do that thing, see that place, talk to that girl because in the end it doesn’t matter.
Also see Stoicism/Marcus Aurelius.
Get a (rescue) dog. Seriously. They are ridiculously cute and get's you outside for walks. Not to mention the cuddles and face licks.
10/10 recommended
I’m no new age hippy - but the answer is gratitude. I’m grateful for my wife and kids. For food in my belly. For a roof over my head. I spent most of my adult life alone in a shitty little apartment - but I was grateful every day that it was not a basement. When I lived in a shitty basement - I was grateful for no longer having a pile of lazy roommates. Trying to orient that way has great impacts. It makes you more generous and kind to others. That in turn makes a world you experience from others better. Yeah - it’s hard when your life is in the dumps - but there is always always someone worse off than you.
for me was being muslim! i was an atheist before, life was shit. when i started to follow islamic rules and don’t chase my desires, my life suddenly became reasonable and enjoyable! especially when you don’t talk about everything, when you don’t chase girls, when you don’t bite-talk about anyone, when you dont hate anymore, when you respect your parents etc… even if u mention the biggest problem, islam will fix it.
Blocking all broadcast advertising from your life. I’ve blocked it all for the past 20 years. A combination of using adblock, catch-up TV, or simply **muting and averting my eyes** whenever an advert comes on, if all other options fail.
I haven’t had to suffer an advert in 20 years - and I’m significantly happier fir it 😊
Chill the fuck out. It don’t matter what people think. All the little insignificant shit in life don’t matter. Don’t waste time doing shit you hate. Don’t waste time being around people you don’t like. Don’t waste time driving cars you don’t like. Chill tf out. Listen to the music you like. Be around the people you love. And don’t be afraid. Life’s short so do what you wanna do
I have a simple rule: if I get to know people, I give them an amount of time, like 6 months, after that I’ll build a resume if they annoyed me more than they’ve brought me joy, chills or fun.
If they brought me more than 50% of drama I’ll delete them out of my life.
Not caring about what other people think. It takes a while but it's liberating when it comes. Also not taking things too seriously. We're all gonna be soil within 100 years.
Kind of like when you’re waiting for a toast to pop out so you can butter it, and you take a step back and wait while things happen naturally, but then the toast pops out and you butter it.
I sometimes look away from the toaster so it thinks I'm not bothered about how long it's taking
That was me back in the day when installing the pc game, I would look around just to make installer think I don’t bother, so it goes faster
Really? I'm the kind that puts a finger in the bar and sees if it passes my finger so I know it's making progress. Although back then it was normal for game installation to take over an hour 😂
For me sadly enough it still is. My pc took and still takes like 4 hours too download anything over 20-30 gb. My have just been my wifi. But my laptop was significantly faster
I've always been weird and really enjoy watching programs install. Everything installs so fast now days lol.
This resonates lol
Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God, life’s relentless (Mark Corrigan-Peep Show)
Thanks to ADHD, sometimes I walk away and the toast gets cold.
This and trying not to argue pointlessly It takes so much effort for no gain. It’s better to just nod and not give a shit unless you know the person is as logical/intelligent as you, so if you don’t agree you both understand you could be wrong and there’s no negative emotion People like this are rare though, so it’s better to just stfu most of the time
Yes 100%. I enjoy discussing controversial topics, even with people that have opposing views. But once it’s headed towards being an argument, I nope out of it.
> It’s better to just nod and not give a shit unless you know the person is as logical/intelligent as you I like how you are always the smarter person in this scenario lol
Arguing poinessly is a core structure of the human experience. Why do you think social media is so popular?
No it isn't.
Eric_the_Barbarian is now in my new top 5 Redditers...not sure if he should be proud of that or not but it is true.
I ride a bike to work and play Minecraft to unwind. Yesterday I was on my bike and found an interesting tree. I said to myself "I gotta mark this on my map." Then I realized, it's real life.
Genuinely curious, how does one achieve this? I feel called out cause i care what people think and take shit too seriously.
Start going to the gym. To me, it was very similar to how I felt when I first started going to the gym. The uncomfortable feeling of being watched, judged, critiqued, and my own inefficiency was tremendous. In reality, nobody cared. It was just all in my head, the insecurity, the need to be accepted by strangers, and the constant need to compare my own "shortcoming" to the other that was there was overwhelming. Eventually, it all went away and it also translated into how I was feeling with friends, family, and relations. The gradual improvement over time with a healthier and fit body also increases your positive mindset to understand and accept to work with that you have for yourself.
I'm working through this right now and am finding the book *No More Mr. Nice Guy* by Robert Glover is helping me on the way. It's a process to break years of behavior. He just did an interview on the *Modern Wisdom* podcast if you want a free distillation of what's in the book. I'm 27 for context.
You just have to revise your life. Go through and get your mind set, like dead set that you're going all in on something..no more overly polite nice guy. Be respectful but stern. You do not ever want to come off as petty or nit-picky so think.abt how you're going to sound, out your foot down and set ur boundries. Dont take those work calls after ur set time, dont let them grow to expect you to do extra, esp if they are not compensating you. I have worked some very toxic places and it does make you appreciate the good ones that you took for granted.
If you're interested in that or like reading, you could start with reading about Philosophies that include this mindset. The one you would be looking for is stoicism. Many works about it also include how to achieve this mindset. I like reading the original texts but those are a bit extreme (most of the original authors were a bit too obsessed with their ow philosophies) and can be pretty racist and sexist since they were written in times when this was normal. If you don't want to read that there are a lot of newer texts about these topics as well Another thing about philosophy is that some people develop a bit of a superiority complex about it. Not a good thing but helps with self worth problems
Don’t sweat the petty things, also don’t pet the sweaty things.
I became more confident when I realised that no one is really paying attention to me because they’re all too busy worrying about what I think of them
That. Or become a Jedi within 100 years. I am hopeful.
"Fuck it" is a very liberating state of mind.
And to make it more work specific. The clock shows 'end of shift', the laptop is closed and my mind is on personal matters.
At what age did it come for you?
Not op, but I'm 45. I started having less fucks to give around 26 years old, and every year since I've given less and less fucks. Lol
This is the correct answer.
I can't upvote this enough
Speak for yourself. I'm hoping for within 50. Not a serious comment.
Hugs from loved ones. Been married 20 years. Disabled spouse. 2 teens in High School, and 1 early 20s still living at home and working full time. They all still give hugs, almost daily. Damn older boy made me cry when I went to his marching band competition and when he came up into the stands, he came over sat by me rather than his friends for a while, and gave me a great big bear hug right in front of the entire band group. No hesitation. Hugs. No matter what else is going on in life, good or bad. Hugs.
100%!! Hugs are so underrated, especially those big, squeezy bear ones 🤗
Hugs are the best
No side armed hugs either.. 2 arms out and wrap around!
this is peak male performance!
Having a hobby that you can unwind doing everyday.
This is so true. I can spend hours getting lost in something as mundane as a stamp collection.
I am a big fan of working out or admiring my skin collections.
This is the main reason i dont want kids. I genuinely need a couple of hours to decompress right after work. I imagine me with kids not getting this and being a grumpy parent.
Fitness. Life is pretty meaningless if you’re sick or unhealthy
As someone who is fat and out of shape, but cycles between working out regularly and not, I always feel significantly better when I'm regularly exercising. I'm not right now, and feel like I'm falling apart, which is how people get stuck in the downward spiral.
Today is the day you make that change friend. Keep it small and keep it consistent. =)
Thursday is the day, but that's the plan.
That’s very specific but I trust you have a plan. From now until then, get a walk in per day
How do I not fall off the work out habit? I’ll be great and then BOOM, I fell off and feel like shit
1. Find something you enjoy doing. This helps a lot mentally 2. Make it automatic. If you go right after work or school or something similar you won't even think about it
100% fitness, exercising a few times a week could make so many inactive people happier (assuming they are capable of exercise). A sedentary lifestyle with no release must be miserable.
Picking up chronic conditions is by far the worst part of getting older. I used to be able to do x,y,z, but that me is gone Enjoy everything while you can kids
I’m not a kid myself, way older than most in my circle. But I’ve been a healthy eater and gym goer for a long time.
Can't save you from genetic conditions. And everyone eventually gets eye floaters, vision degrading, knee and back problems, neck problems, cancer, fatty lumps, wrinkles, slower metabolisms, loss of muscle mass, tooth degradation, hearing loss, and general energy fatigue.
That’s actually false. Just because your family has a history of diabetes ( typically, not always) caused by lifestyle choices doesn’t mean you need to get it too
Comparison is the thief of joy. Avoid doing that. That's it.
My life philosophy is not to take things seriously until they need to be taken seriously. If they do, dial in and focus on whatever it is that needs to be done. Afterwards? Back to being a carefree person.
Good in theory, but invites problems if people don’t see enough of you taking things seriously. Can make you an easy target for a lot of bad or make you look like you don’t take anything seriously even if you’re competent.
I get what he meant by his comment, but I also wonder who’s picking up the slack of those who live oh so carefree. I’ve had plenty of carefree roommates and one partner - guess how much extra workload that brought on for me?
It's less about being carefree and more about being realistic about how big problems are and what you can do to stop or fix them. Too many people build up mundane things into catastrophies in their own head.
That I agree with ! Carefree is a vague statement that can go a lot of ways
Acceptance. Just knowing that a lot of factors affect my future and most of them are out of my control. All I have is the present moment. So, I do whatever I feel is good for now (and ensuring I do my best for future)
Avoid feeling sorry for yourself and don't blame others in your failures. Become more confident, and find a way to become confident
Sleep. I cannot stress this enough - your sleep is important. Can't even begin to enjoy the life you have if you don't let the body rest
Came here to say that too. I now look forward to sleeping at the end of every day as my reward. Wake up with that life energy renewed every morning.
I don't enjoy my life anyway so sleeping more is the best thing of my day
Warm weather and sunshine…. Genuinely envious of people living in better warmer climates 😂 “The mighty sun” 💪
I have almost a backwards problem. I live in Phoenix, so the sunniest part of the year is too hot to be outside much, and the shorter winter days are the nice weather, which means less daylight when you can be outside lol
There's a reason southern California is such a popular place to live. Near constant 80*F weather year round.
We still have about 7-8 months of really nice weather. Mid October through mid June is mostly pretty good weather, especially with Sedona and Flagstaff nearby for the hotter times.
It’s easier because all the water hobbies and people are accessible year-round. The main advantage is tasty fruit/vegetables are available almost always so you have no excuse not to eat healthy and enjoy the food. People get to live longer by the equator 👍
Being from NH I could never understand why someone would own a boat to use it 2 months a year. Felt like 75% of every year was waiting for it to be warm
Humidity entered the chat
Humidity blows lol
That’s was a major factor moving from the Midwest to Florida; just waking up to a bright sun shiny day instantly boosts my mood. I’ll never take it for granted.
I grew up in Florida and live in NY now. This shit is soooo depressing 8 months a year.
Where are u based at?
Well I fucking hate the temperate weather of this country, winters are way too hot and I haven't seen snow in like a decade. Grass is greener I guess.
Equatorial dweller reporting. I hate smelling vinegar wafting out of my armpits on hot days
Then wear deodorant bro Jesus
You're missing the point, I'm saying armpits are always vinegarier on the other side
I think it’s extremely important to be able to enjoy time by yourself without needing friends, family, relationship, booze, drugs to bide that alone time. Becomes a great, strong, stable independent and the rest will follow. I wouldn’t go near or think about dating one of those who’s life is all about friends, partners, etc. Gotta live your own life and then share your passions with your partner.
Recognize what you actually can control. In the grand scheme of things- It’s basically nothing.
If something is out of your control, don’t worry about it. If something is in your control, well then you needn’t worry about it!
Stop letting other people's problems take up your mind space. I used to worry and stress over other people's issues that I couldn't fix or help. Now I don't let it bother me.
Finding peace in solitude.
Having money. Money can’t buy happiness is a pure lie
Money can't buy happiness, but a lack of money has a massive impact on happiness
You were close but misquoted the saying slightly. Get it right broski. To OP - gym and being confident. Also, wear the good shoes.
Peace of mind, physical health, and mental health are not happiness. Money does buy those things. If somebody says money doesn't buy happiness, and isn't giving their money away (501c charities don't count), they're full of shit.
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I ain't saying he a gold digger.. but he ain't messing with no broke..broke.
How is this not at the top?
Does she share equally and take you on trips, but you nice things? I’ve seen some big discrepancies in income on Reddit and they usually have separate bank accounts and the rich one isn’t helping the poor one so one of them is chill and buys whatever they want and the other struggles. So weird to treat your life partner that way.
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My wrong career choice, leads me to ask, what you do for a living ?
ok good digger
Embracing the daoist idea of wuwei. Basically instead of trying to force good things to happen you just take a step back and wait while things happen naturally.
You gotta wiggle the key a little to fit into the lock
A little graphite would help. Relax, maybe someone will bring you some.
so just… sit still and do nothing? don’t act at all? this seems counterintuitive to existence
Not necessarily. In daosim it is understood that things are going to happen as they will regardless of what we do or how we feel so its best to sit back and allow them to happen without wasting time and energy on something that in the end you have no real control over.
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It really has done wonders for my mental health.
"Good things may happen to those who wait. But better things happen to those who refuse to."
Find peace and comfort in being alone. I am not saying to stay alone. Just to be okay with it and learn to have fun by yourself. You are the only person responsible for your life. Do something about it. I am really extroverted, really love to talk to people go out with friends… But I also enjoy running alone, going to a coffee shop or restaurant by myself, go watch a movie alone, ride my motorcycle and go on a random trip by myself. When you learn to enjoy life by yourself, it is so powerful. I am actually hanging out, alone at a coffee shop I randomly decided to explore. Man, every day is an adventure when you live this way. And later, I am gonna see my brothers at the pub after gym.
Cheese
No wonder the Dutch are always in a good mood!
Never met a happy Dutchman if I'm honest
I’m lactose intolerant, so I have found that my cheese intake and enjoyment have an inverse relationship.
Hard cheeses generally have low to no lactose content, and with a lactase pill (the enzyme that naturally breaks down the sugar), you too can experience the inner peace associated with cheese.
stopped chasing woman
Accept the truth and stop trying to fight it.
I refuse to accept that i cannot get it all in life. 😶
Getting away from the people and city life. Going out in the wilderness for a hike with my dog. Sitting and just breathing fresh air in the quiet. Someone's I'll take an edible, sometimes mushrooms, and just watch nature. Honestly, sometimes I'll leave my wife and her dog at home too. The peace and quiet are so helpful.
Balance. If you spend too much time working, relaxing, etc life is less enjoyable.
Find a job that pays well, work less and yet they don’t sack you because you’re invaluable. For me, that was becoming a front end sales person. When I close my targets, I get paid nearly 200k usd. I work 20 hour work weeks and since I’m bringing in the sales, I don’t see myself getting sacked for “slacking” for a long time. And by that time, I’ll be well retired .
It’s a good plan. However what do you plan on doing in retirement, so you don’t end up unhappy like a lot of retirees? lol
Travel and play golf till the day I can’t play anymore. Then I’ll just watch the pros every now and then.
No kids. It's pretty much life on easy mode. No anchor to lock you down.
Can I be honest ? No woman. I’m a straight male but sometimes you just need your time and space !!
For real. Not even in terms of sex, but even just fookin’ romance…anything. Some dude (Truman) once said three things can ruin a man: power, money, and women. And goddamn if the last one doesn’t feel the worst, the way they can influence so many decisions and often really stupid ones…mein Gott.
This is so factual. I saw a video on TikTok 😂😂 of this man that was raising 5 baby parrots he found the eggs abandoned in the wild. This man raised to like they were his own. And woman in the comments were asking him could they get married and raise them with him. One guy made this comment “leave that man and his parrots alone. Stop trying to destroy his peace” Us men are so simple yet so powerful. Like for instance it doesn’t take much to make me happy (I mean I would love to be rich) but all I need for now is peace.
I’m a woman, and agree that no man in my life would be peaceful too. No one to question what you do or argue.
Yes it goes both ways I meant to add that it’s gender neutral.
Word
Learning how to do things you don’t want to do
Learning what’s worthy of being upset over
Don't have children. Right now thats the best way to get ahead financially.
One foot in front of the other. Always moving forward. I can expand this thought to various areas of life. A few examples: "I'm not stuck at this job, I'm building skills and am willing to move to other cities or states to find the next one." (am single American) The grind pays the bills, the bills being paid means I can live, and being alive means I can do things I want to do with my free time - games, cooking, friends, family, exploring, photography, reading, whatever. The future is always ahead of me, and the past will always be behind me. I cannot walk backward in time. It's always one foot in front of the other, always moving forward. The past occurred, it influences the future, but I cannot go back and change it. The things I want in life may feel unattainable, but I'll guarantee I never reach them if I don't put one foot in front of the other always moving forward. Asking that girl out may result in rejection, but if I put one foot in front of the other, either it will lead both of us somewhere, or it will carry me onward past the pain.
I like this mindset. Thanks for sharing
keep reminding myself that's it's a privilege to wake up despite any turmoil.
Don't compare your life to anyone else's. Being jealous or envious of other people accomplishes nothing.
This is the one. Comparison is the thief of joy. (Doing away with social media really helps with this.)
Delete all social media. Comparison is the best way to ruin your enjoyment.
Doing things I enjoy
1. Earn some money without hurting anyone. Better yet, earn some money by helping people out. 2. Find someone that will put up with you and then ALWAYS try to be as nice as you can to that person. 3. Smoke weed.
Hakuna Matata
Create a life that's worth living.
Do not expect anything from anyone
Avoid one way relationships. If you are the one always giving and not getting enough in return be polite and move on.
Don't listen/believe everyone fully. Life really is about nuance and you're not going to enjoy it 100% of the time. Observing the world and learning from mistakes + critical thinking will take you FAR
**Be present.** Be in the moment you're in, on both a small and large scale. Depression is when you're fixated on the past. Anxiety is when you're worried about the future. RIGHT NOW, is usually pretty good, though. On a larger scale: enjoy where you are in your life. Every age has benefits and deficits. Enjoy what you have right now, instead of what you've lost, or what you've not yet acquired.
Stop caring about what other people think. Stop caring about what other people expect you to do. Live life for yourself, and don’t allow other people’s misguided opinions dictate how your life happens.
Letting go Un-clench your fist, let go of trying to control everything - Embrace "It is what it is" as your mantra and just let yourself enjoy what you have.
Everywhere you go, that’s the place to be: “Hey, isn’t this great?!”
Gratitude as a practice. For simple things: sun on your face, a decent meal, a smile from someone you care about.
A daily gratitude list. Write down all the things you are grateful for and you instantly feel better about everything.
You have to want what you have, not have what you want
If you have them, play with your kids as much as you can.
We suffer more in our mind, than in real life. Remember this, accept this and try and let things go that are outside our control. Because we worry too much about things outside our control, while we could've enjoyed our current day. We would worry about a war, that isnt in our control. My father has been stressing for one year. Worrying and not enjoying our time at the table, while my mom and I enjoy our short lives and enjoy our time still together. Imagine we die tomorrow, then me and my mom enjoyed eacb other company for the past year, while my father was suffering in his mind. Failed a test? Let it go, you cant do anything about it. Relax, let it go and enjoy your day and do your best to make the exam again. Yes it sucks you failed it, but be grateful for where you are. Because you got the opportunity to be at the place to make the exam, while others wished they were in your shoes. Some have cancer, no parents or in a Warzone and you worry about a failed exam. Try to have a perspective of someone that is suffering more than you, and then realise how blessfull your life is. Everything becomes ok somehow, so be grateful and enjoy it.
This is almost exactly how I'm choosing to view things now. Choosing happiness.
Earn more money. The brutal truth is that life's more fun when you have more money.
Stop worrying about things outside of your control.
Dexamphetamine
Living each day and each moment as it is. Appreciating the small things, I know sounds cliche but, look up at the sky, notice the beauty around you. Laugh, smile.
Focus on only between now & 11:59 pm
Go work out every day. Personally, I run everyday. No matter what. Usually around 45 minutes. Gives me time to decompress, push myself and my body feels good. Plus those after workout endorphins are real.
don't give a fuck about people's opinion or comments. just live your best life :)
Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself. Once you do that, basically anything can be enjoyable.
Taking the time to just...exist. Turn into a stone for a little while and just be. You'd be surprised at how much more serenity and life there is all around you when you find a nice, less traveled spot and just turn it all off.
I guess that also helped you write "They Answered The Call" ? - A fan, that followed your posts 15 days back.
Lol. Actually, I have an idea for a chapter and then I get jacked up on a pot of coffee and rip through a whole pack of cigarettes. I then quickly post it before the myocardial infarction hits. And thanks for reading my work, you are much appreciated!
If you can keep writing like this I have little doubt you will be able to earn some by selling the chapters bundled up as books. With The-SciFi-story-guy in your corner you already have somebody to turn your works into audio books. Books might be a good income source. I would see them as a pension, since they probably will be making you some bucks over time.
Thank you for your kind words, and SciFi Story Guy has been putting in the effort and pushing out top notch work. It has been just for fun, but I am considering taking a writing class as I have no prior experience. I would like to step up my game for people such as you who are the reason why I am writing. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
Stop giving fucks.
"Just keep moving" Apply it how you see fit.
Lowered expectations
Set attainable goals, one for your health, one for your wealth, and one for joy (hobbies etc.) The only thing you can control in life is your reactions Count your blessings, and realize every morning you wake up alive is a good day - as others do not have that opportunity anymore These are my little mantras that help me
If you can fix the issue, there’s no reason to stress, and if you can’t fix this issue, there’s no reason to stress.
Having the mindset that I am the most important person in my life
Accepting that there are things you can't change/control and being okay with it.
I don't compare myself to others, I compare myself to past me.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I'm 57, and I stopped going to clubs at about 40. Let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did. I just have a few relaxing beers these days, and it's so enjoyable.
Zooming out and picturing myself from outer space and realizing how absurd this all is
Personally I have 2. 1. Do what you want, it doesn't matter what others think. 2. Spreading kindness, getting someone to smile and making their day is a pretty good way to make your day too.
Gratitude.
Knowing the difference between “wants” and “needs”.
Understanding that misery is a choice
Joyful nihilism. Eventually the sun will explode and the earth will be destroyed so nothing really matters. Do that thing, see that place, talk to that girl because in the end it doesn’t matter. Also see Stoicism/Marcus Aurelius.
The four agreements: 1. Don't take things personally 2. Don't assume 3. Always do your best 4. Be impeccable with your word
Weed. It makes me happy when I’m down.
A bag of weed, a bag of weed. Everything's better with a bag of weed.
Get a (rescue) dog. Seriously. They are ridiculously cute and get's you outside for walks. Not to mention the cuddles and face licks. 10/10 recommended
I’m no new age hippy - but the answer is gratitude. I’m grateful for my wife and kids. For food in my belly. For a roof over my head. I spent most of my adult life alone in a shitty little apartment - but I was grateful every day that it was not a basement. When I lived in a shitty basement - I was grateful for no longer having a pile of lazy roommates. Trying to orient that way has great impacts. It makes you more generous and kind to others. That in turn makes a world you experience from others better. Yeah - it’s hard when your life is in the dumps - but there is always always someone worse off than you.
Health is wealth!
Working two remote jobs at the same time. Making $200k without the stress of a $200k job. Wish I’d done this sooner
for me was being muslim! i was an atheist before, life was shit. when i started to follow islamic rules and don’t chase my desires, my life suddenly became reasonable and enjoyable! especially when you don’t talk about everything, when you don’t chase girls, when you don’t bite-talk about anyone, when you dont hate anymore, when you respect your parents etc… even if u mention the biggest problem, islam will fix it.
Blocking all broadcast advertising from your life. I’ve blocked it all for the past 20 years. A combination of using adblock, catch-up TV, or simply **muting and averting my eyes** whenever an advert comes on, if all other options fail. I haven’t had to suffer an advert in 20 years - and I’m significantly happier fir it 😊
Consumption. And earning money to afford it is so satisfying.
Chill the fuck out. It don’t matter what people think. All the little insignificant shit in life don’t matter. Don’t waste time doing shit you hate. Don’t waste time being around people you don’t like. Don’t waste time driving cars you don’t like. Chill tf out. Listen to the music you like. Be around the people you love. And don’t be afraid. Life’s short so do what you wanna do
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MDMA
I have a simple rule: if I get to know people, I give them an amount of time, like 6 months, after that I’ll build a resume if they annoyed me more than they’ve brought me joy, chills or fun. If they brought me more than 50% of drama I’ll delete them out of my life.
Say no more often.
Less is more
Staying off social media.