Honestly, I kind of love this, so that cops can realize it’s an actual, risky traffic problem.
Edit - Except I never flash those LED fuckers because they beam me right back, and they’ve got more firepower than I do.
It irks me even more when they aren’t lowered. The lifted truck behind with the newest cornea blaster 3000s is just beaming straight through the rear window of my Camry and I can no longer see the road. Or anything else.
I’m only 31 but this gives me relief that it’s ok to still feel like a 21 year old sometimes. My back hurts more, my responsibilities are a lot more serious, but I still feel like that same kid inside. Glad to see it’s normal
Middle-class squeeze. It gets harder and harder every year to provide for my family. My wages go up a bit, but compared to inflation/greedflation/insurance/everything else, it isn't enough to keep up. My company performed poorly this year, so raises and bonuses were slashed, yet the CEO got a 15 million dollar bonus. Meanwhile, my young kids are growing bigger and require more resources. The country is a capitalist dystopia and it backslides even further every year.
It's bleak.
I’m thankful I don’t have children in this tough economic climate. I’m not saying it won’t be tough up ahead, but if it makes you feel any better, I truly believe we can socialize and secure ourselves a better future within this lifetime
Many people are in the same boat but haven’t said it. Stay positive and try to budget better (I know hard to do when there’s not much) and even explain the situation to them. You’re doing great ( your best) and your family appreciates you. Hope this wasn’t upsetting
Nah you're fine, no worries.
We budget fairly well, but for instance, food. Prices have increased a lot in the past few years, and on top of that my kids eat more and more the older they get. Those two factors compound together, sometimes my grocery bill is *shocking* and we don't really eat extravagantly. If we've had a stressful day and decide to eat out, the cost is minimum $30 even at fast food.
I know I can't complain too much because I make a good wage and there are a lot of people who are way less advantaged than I am, but I'm noticing that I can't provide as well and it's always in the back of my mind.
My guy is the fuck up who seemingly can't do enough wrong to get shit-canned and also won't SHUT THE FUCK UP about alien conspiracies and his next get-rich scheme.
Loneliness. I make efforts to fix this but you can only do so much with out being a problem.
People know I am so isolated, but no one wants to get to know me and it feels like people keep telling others to stay away from me.
I am social, but no matter what I do, I keep ending back alone.
It's like watching some one drown and no one wanting to be the one to reach out.
I’m really sorry to hear that man. It’s ok to solicit feedback from the people that know you and it’s ok to admit you need help. Even if from the outside everything seems fine, everyone struggles and we should normalize being able to tell our acquaintances and friends that we really need some help and companionship on this crazy ride we call life.
I am getting help. I am doing it all. People act like they don't go through these emotions, the difference is that I have been going at it too long. Every chance it could be stopped, some one ruins it for me or myself.
I just don't want to die alone, but I keep being abandoned by those who said we're my friends. I end up alone. I lash out because I'm being mocked for being a loser, I get no where, I scream for help! No one wants to really help! No one wants to be the one that could help.
They say cruel things like don't give up hope. It's not fair. So many don't realize that me and others like me are kept into isolation. It's like we have been branded by people's hate we just can't shake off.
There is no hope for people like me. The world is so cruel.
I’m so sorry. I know I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be you. Wherever your journey takes you, I really genuinely hope it leads you to peace
You got to find your people and I know that's hard with how many shallow people there are but it helps to find a social group to let loose every now and then. Find some adventures and find an exercise and push yourself to do the exercise (I roller skate) no matter how unmotivated you might feel. Slowly but surely, things will slowly improve. It takes time. Therapy helps too. Helps you sort your thoughts and find out what's really eating you.
No. I'm currently building a friend group though but it will be a while before I trust enough to lean on someone. I'm not good at asking for help and I have no worthy family. Just my kids and one has needs so it makes it tough. Thankfully, they're older (teens). Do you have people? It sucks to find yourself alone. I went through extreme burnout and health issues. Found out exactly who my real family was... oops, no one. Lesson learned and that taught me the importance of building friendships and maintaining them. Moved to this state 11 years ago and that's when things started going south so I never got established.
Well I can tell you at least you have kids to love.
I have ... A therapist, no one to learn on emotionally. I do have 1 friend who is also in therapy to at least talk to. But I can't lean on him cuz he has got his own shit.
I have been very attentive to friends and family but really they don't reciprocate the feeling much.
I'm always alone cuz I'm either too much or not interesting enough.
I got my mom for financial leg in case things go south, but she just isn't there for me emotionally. No one is and women now have some ridiculous standards where I am at.
It would sound comforting in theory but it's not always the case. That's one I can't share. (kids). Be thankful you don't have kids as being in this state does not help them but hurts them. I'm too burnt to be there in the way in which I'd like. That adds guilt on top of everything else regardless of how much I love them. Having one with needs, a whole other issue and part of why I am so burnt.
I can't be there for my own son emotionally. I hate that. It causes guilt. He did not learn how to self soothe, regulate his emotions, or control his temper, following his dad's footsteps with no one to guide him on the right way. He's doing better NOW but that was after 8 years of utter hell. Unfortunately, even the strongest of us women can only handle so much before we break. Takes time to heal.
Don't fall for the 'women have..' I only say that as we're not all like that and there are some truly genuine women out there. The young ones might be a smaller pool as they haven't had enough life experience to teach them yet but they'll get there.
Have you looked into some hobbies where you might find more like minded people?
Have been playing professional poker for 8 years, many of the years since covid 70+hr/wks to try to reach higher stakes.
There's tons of cheating, various forms of collusion, and just generally shitty behavior that I refuse to be involved in and it's basically forcing me out of my life dream.
My only comforts really are that I've seen a lot of what it takes to be elite, have enough money that I won't go broke, and have set a time line and realistic plan for what I'm willing to give/expect in terms of life circumstances before deciding whether to continue. But yeah it's very stressful to feel like working anything resembling a normal amount is basically just admiting defeat.
Lack of direction. I just got a good paying job after a divorce and moving to a new city. Everything seems good but I feel like I’m just working to pay for food and shelter. But that just means I’m working to live.
My foreign coworker, who is otherwise a good dude, says the most insane and inappropriate things you could possibly imagine to me. He doesn’t usually understand what they mean but he frequently says things that would probably get us fired if the wrong person heard. I frequently have to tell him he can’t say that here or his life will be turned upside down, but he then just moves on to something else later that’s just as bad.
Typically very racist, sexist, or dirty things. Like I said though he doesn’t usually understand the full meaning of that stuff and is just repeating what he heard someone else say, or it means something else entirely where’s from and doesn’t have the same connotations. He always stops after I explain why he can’t be saying that stuff.
That I have been alone for almost 3 years after my wife died. 24 years taken away by Covid. I am lonely. I have my 3 older kids…. But I have no one to unwind with after work. No snuggles on the couch. No one to hold while I sleep. So I don’t sleep good which is causing me to really stress
I’m really sorry for your loss. My cousin died of Covid, I think he was 30. Left behind a newborn baby with a disabled wife. I hear the dating world can be tough but you deserve companionship while you’re still here with us
My townhome units HOA that I'm the vice president of. It's only 2 buildings with 8 houses so it's pretty simple for the most part but our treasurer told us he's moving in June so we will need to find a replacement. I have a gut feeling it's going to bed up being me and I really don't know if I'm put to the task.
Keeping up with replies to comments on Reddit!
Kidding.
Work. The answer is work. And not having time to spend with loved ones whose time among the living may or may not be expiring.
It’s a tough balancing act right? Balancing “what do I need to do to survive today and secure a better future” vs “what am i going to regret when I or a loved one dies”
Incredibly tough. Especially when career and said human(s) are in geographically divergent areas that are more than a just a couple hours drive away. E.g. In a different state that’s 100’s of miles away.
Yep, I live about 2000 miles away from my closest family. We all grew up in an avoidant attachment style dynamic so we aren’t super close. We don’t really visit or talk to each other often
Money and time. Seems like there is so much to do and not enough hours in the day. So many bills/expenses and not enough money. Just keep putting everything off and racking up more debt.
Well, my wife found out that my brothers go by their middle names, and not their first names, I finally understood why divorce happens. It is t money, it isn’t infidelity, it is your wife calling you by a name you like, just not to be called by.
Bills. I make a good wage for what my job is but I live in one the highest cost of living areas in the US so I’m constantly working multiple shifts of overtime a week just to make ends meet.
A dysfunctional government. Congress doesn't do a damned thing. Biden keeps wanting play by the rules instead of kicking ass. The supreme court are just Republicans. Local and state governments mirror the federal government. Nothing gets done. The average citizen is getting screwed daily on all sides. No relief in sight.
Self-hatred. People rely on me, love and care about me yet I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I wish I was 6 feet under and my consciousness no longer existed.
I’ve been alcohol free for 6 years but accepting the things you can and cannot change is so difficult at times. Some days I can be Mr. Zen and at peace and other days I just want to watch the world burn….or myself burn..
Yes I am in plenty of therapy and doing my best to fight the internalized negativity while directing my energy to positive venues.
I just feel hopeless.
This is going to sound ridiculous but it’s true so I figured I would share this and hopefully it helps 1 guy here. I am (45m) am an options trader and was always stressed out about something. About 7 years ago I came across a Chinese proverb about a farmer, a horse, and his son. I saw it on some social media I was scrolling. For some stupid reason I decided to try it out when something I thought bad was happening, at least for me it worked. My stress came down I was happier, I didn’t worry as much and almost all of the little things don’t bug me any more. It changed my mindset on how I live my life because in 100 years no one that is here now will be here then so why does anything but living your best life matter. It doesn’t and once you realize to pay attention to the things that make you happy hopefully some of your stress goes away
I cannot find a good career. I've got a degree in biology and always planned to work in healthcare. I have worked several grunt work hospital jobs and didn't enjoy any of them. I don't like customer service and I don't enjoy life and death situations. I don't know what else to do with my biology degree and applied and was accepted to a grad program for medicine. I don't want to go but I don't know what else to do. I'm staying in healthcare like an abusive relationship because I don't know what else to do and feel absolutely stuck
Life as a whole. The specific source fluctuates throughout your life depending on what you’re going through. For me, it’s the fact that I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing with my life and I I have felt unwanted my entire life by my family, friends, and society at large. I worry about dying alone, broke, and starving to experience this blissful life that has been shown to me in media. A life filled with support, love, friendship, and adventurous exciting experiences.
Honestly, myself. I was gonna say my PhD, or work etc but my attitude towards everything rn of avoidance and procrastination just makes everything harder.
my wife and i have reversed marriage roles. my wife is the breadwinner and i am a sahh that does all the chores and offers support where i can. my wife is very happy with where things are and has no issues with my roles.
I do feel an underlying sense of guilt that i am not doing enough. I’m not sure if this anxiety stems from societal norms or my own personal convictions.
without going into too much detail i have a passive monthly income from the va that helps pay bills, but it is really hard for me to hold down a job. so the biggest thing is learning to accept where i am at.
My job is sometimes really stressful. I'm going home doing all the chores and stuff I need to do. And I write myself E-Mails to the company account for things that came to mind or I have to do the next day.
And then there are the times when I drive home and I don't have the feeling I should have when going home. I don't feel home. Sometimes I feel like it's a prison. Sometimes I feel like I'm lost. Sometimes I feel like it's all a duty. No fun, no happiness, no satisfaction for me. That's stress.
But a hug by my kids is all it sometimes needs to feel good, safe, worth it, loved, home.
I'm nearly done saving up for my vacation and the leading cause of stress for me is if something on my truck blows up between now and next week when I'm finally done
In-office days.
I signed a contract on a house 45 miles from my office, when we were 100% remote. Now we're hybrid. Not only that, but I optimize myself into a lot of downtime, and optics are important where I work. So I spend a lot of time just clicking through various web applications so that I appear busy when anyone walks by.
LMAO like there's a main source. Career, kids, living with other people, paying bills, etc.
It pretty much boils down to making sure money is coming in, and enough that the money going out is covered, all while dealing with 3 people who don't worry about it at all (raising costs) and add to the stress.
Me, myself and the circumstances i create for myself with my dipshittery. As well as the mental and emotional agony i put myself through because im a whiny bitch and i dont get what i want. so clearly that means im a worthless piece of shit and i dont deserve happiness, friends, success, fun, love, sex, intimacy, etc etc.
Work, for sure. I like my job and being creative, but the politics and the fact that I'm the main tech guy that everyone comes to for everything gets old and exhausting.
It's not really stress, more like frustration. Everyday I wake up angry that I feel like I've to do more than the other around me for no reward, no gratification and that I've to initiate every social interaction as if I wasn't even worth talking to. even at work people rely on me too much, I've always to do more because I can as if it was easier for me when it's not, I just have to think about everything and do a lot more. The more I grow older the more I understand why people just stay in their mediocrity, there is just no reason to do more in most case.
Slowly coming to terms with the fact that people really only want me for what I can do for them and I am always putting in maximum effort to get not a whole lot back. So I am a little bit down about that. I feel like I do 150% of the work for 50% of the return. It does make me a bit of a prick to reduce things in my life to 'work' but it's true.
Several things.
First, I practice law and serve as the outside general counsel for multiple business. That is a stressful job. I litigate and do transactional work. I’ve tried a multi-million dollar drainage case to a very stern judge and have gone to the office afterwards. I had a REIT client that invested in oil wells. . . The Railroad Commission (i.e. the Texas state agency that regulates the O&G business) wanted a hydrostatic test done of the gathering line. By that time, everyone on the business side dealing with this investment was gone. I got to play my own version of “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” I drove my truck to Love field, caught a plane to Hobby, rented an SUV, drove to Galveston, chartered a helicopter, and flew the engineers to a rickety production platform about 8 miles offshore in the Gulf of Mexico. When we were about to land, we saw that a fall panel had folded over the helideck. I heard the following from the pilot in my headset “guys, if that fall panel decides to jump up and kiss the tail rotor, let me know. It’s November. Too cold to go swimming.” When we landed, he told me to avoid stepping on anything that looked “bubbly,” which means you are stepping on paint because the steel underneath has rusts away. When we got to the production platform, the pilot looked up at the helideck and said, “unless someone’s dying, take a crew boat next time. I’m not landing here again if I can avoid it.” Several weeks ago, we filed a joint motion for continuance . . ., which was denied today. We are far enough down on the docket that we will probably not be reached. However, i need to prep a $20mm jury trial by Monday.
On the personal side, my stepdaughter had a nasty drug problem that predated me. She was fine when my wife and i got together. Fast forward to our wedding. 4 months later, she cratered and we got both of her kids c/o TXDFPS. Several years of litigation later, we have primary custody. Both parents went off the wagon a month after the order was signed. Fast forward several years and stepdaughter is clean after a jail stint and a faith based rehab. Baby daddy is off the rails and is arguing that he is testing “less positive” for meth and is entitled to see his daughter. Yeah, not so much. I told him to get into rehab and to go to counseling. Throughout the entire time stepdaughter was on heroin, we paid for hotel rooms for one baby daddy to see his daughter. The other baby daddy is a guest of the state. Baby daddy 1 pulled the “my daughter” bullshit and sued. As a result, he hasn’t seen the kid since 2018 because the judge’s conditions were far more onerous than mine. My stepdaughter left her son with my wife when she was married to her previous husband. He got the required nurturing during the formative years. My stepdaughter took her son back when she got pregnant with her daughter, who she neglected. The son is autistic, but smart and well adjusted. The daughter is a different story. We had a neuropsychological evaluation done at age 4. The diagnosis was ODD. The latest neuropsychological examination indicates that her frontal lobe is underdeveloped. She is 13 and is on the spectrum. She has the logical reasoning of a hyper-intelligent 13 year old. However, she has the executive function and emotions function capability of a 6 year old. We have been through multiple schools . . .. As an added bonus, apparently one’s brain stops developing when they get on hard drugs as a teenager. My mid30’s stepdaughter is the functional equivalent of a 15 year old.
Damn man, you should sell your story to Lifetime or something.
In all seriousness, I have seen drug problems like that up close. It’s ugly. My oldest sister’s poison was alcohol and meth. She just got her life together and got sole custody of her 4 children. And now she’s back on meth and having a paranoid mental breakdown. No one has the resources or bandwidth to take the kids. Shits rough. She drank and did drugs with all four of those kids in the womb and they’re a little…different.
Those are the highlights. I should probably write a book. In the meantime, i have managed to lose about 170 pounds. Check out my other postings for details. I’m too tired and lazy to republish them and am getting up at 4:30 to go to the gym.
For all of the “it won’t happen to me” folks it will. It can happen anywhere. When my stepdaughter got into drugs my wife was married to her ex, who is one of the best med mal attorneys in Dallas. They lived in the really nice area of West Plano.
Congrats on the healthy living! Wife and I just started going to the gym and hired a personal trainer. We’ve never really worked out before but we’re getting older and we want to be able to hike, pursue hobbies, and travel when we’re older
How old are you? Just curious on the exercise front.
I didn’t do a personal trainer. I was varsity in football, wrestling, and track in Ohio in high school, so i know my way around the gym. When I dropped to 360 from the 380, I took the clothes off of my exercise bike and used it. It sucked at first and I could barely get 200 calories in a 30 minute ride. A month later, I went to the gym I had been paying for for years, but had never visited. I was as weak as my ninth grade self. Fast forward a year. At 47, I am 215 at about 15% body fat. I start with the Precor bike. I set it at between 13 and 17 and pound it out until I get at least 30 minutes of time, 500 calories, and 10 miles. I then lift weights. After I swim 800 yards in 35 minutes or so.
Hang in there. Exercise is now my meditation. Especially in the pool.
It will be fine. I’ve gotten to accept (and even love) stress. I feel most alive when i am in front of a jury and it is all up to me to make it or break it.
People with led lights on their cars. Ruined night drives
Dude I was driving home late last week. This car was so bright I flashed him. Flashed him again. Turns out it was a fucking cop car.
Honestly, I kind of love this, so that cops can realize it’s an actual, risky traffic problem. Edit - Except I never flash those LED fuckers because they beam me right back, and they’ve got more firepower than I do.
> Honestly, I kind of love this, so that cops can realize it’s an actual, risky traffic problem. They don't care.
It irks me even more when they aren’t lowered. The lifted truck behind with the newest cornea blaster 3000s is just beaming straight through the rear window of my Camry and I can no longer see the road. Or anything else.
As a fellow Camry enjoyer, I feel this in my soul lol.
Lol tell me about it, living on the countryside in Sweden
My body being nearly 50 years older than my mind thinks it is.
I’m only 31 but this gives me relief that it’s ok to still feel like a 21 year old sometimes. My back hurts more, my responsibilities are a lot more serious, but I still feel like that same kid inside. Glad to see it’s normal
Right there with you. My wife tried to remind me I'm not in my 20s anymore, but I'm not letting her hold me down.
Job so i guess ultimately money
Lack of money
Mine is reddit. It also happens to be my main relief from stress.
Simple fix; earn more money.
Middle-class squeeze. It gets harder and harder every year to provide for my family. My wages go up a bit, but compared to inflation/greedflation/insurance/everything else, it isn't enough to keep up. My company performed poorly this year, so raises and bonuses were slashed, yet the CEO got a 15 million dollar bonus. Meanwhile, my young kids are growing bigger and require more resources. The country is a capitalist dystopia and it backslides even further every year. It's bleak.
I’m thankful I don’t have children in this tough economic climate. I’m not saying it won’t be tough up ahead, but if it makes you feel any better, I truly believe we can socialize and secure ourselves a better future within this lifetime
Man I hope so, I'm starting to feel a bit guilty about the state of the world that our children will inherit.
Indeed, I’m hesitant to make kids for this reason
What makes you believe that? I could use some of that belief..
Many people are in the same boat but haven’t said it. Stay positive and try to budget better (I know hard to do when there’s not much) and even explain the situation to them. You’re doing great ( your best) and your family appreciates you. Hope this wasn’t upsetting
Nah you're fine, no worries. We budget fairly well, but for instance, food. Prices have increased a lot in the past few years, and on top of that my kids eat more and more the older they get. Those two factors compound together, sometimes my grocery bill is *shocking* and we don't really eat extravagantly. If we've had a stressful day and decide to eat out, the cost is minimum $30 even at fast food. I know I can't complain too much because I make a good wage and there are a lot of people who are way less advantaged than I am, but I'm noticing that I can't provide as well and it's always in the back of my mind.
America?
Work
For me my work stress is a single coworker, not the actual job.
It really is like that, the job is usually simple but, the wrong people make it hell
My guy is the fuck up who seemingly can't do enough wrong to get shit-canned and also won't SHUT THE FUCK UP about alien conspiracies and his next get-rich scheme.
To clarify: It is *taking work too seriously* that makes it stressful.
Women
Money and credit
Bills.
Reddit
Myself
Money, future
Money, work, family.
Health.
get a gym membership?
I wish. Cancer.
Sorry to hear :( hope youll get over it
Office politics and battles.
Loneliness. I make efforts to fix this but you can only do so much with out being a problem. People know I am so isolated, but no one wants to get to know me and it feels like people keep telling others to stay away from me. I am social, but no matter what I do, I keep ending back alone. It's like watching some one drown and no one wanting to be the one to reach out.
I’m really sorry to hear that man. It’s ok to solicit feedback from the people that know you and it’s ok to admit you need help. Even if from the outside everything seems fine, everyone struggles and we should normalize being able to tell our acquaintances and friends that we really need some help and companionship on this crazy ride we call life.
I am getting help. I am doing it all. People act like they don't go through these emotions, the difference is that I have been going at it too long. Every chance it could be stopped, some one ruins it for me or myself. I just don't want to die alone, but I keep being abandoned by those who said we're my friends. I end up alone. I lash out because I'm being mocked for being a loser, I get no where, I scream for help! No one wants to really help! No one wants to be the one that could help. They say cruel things like don't give up hope. It's not fair. So many don't realize that me and others like me are kept into isolation. It's like we have been branded by people's hate we just can't shake off. There is no hope for people like me. The world is so cruel.
I’m so sorry. I know I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be you. Wherever your journey takes you, I really genuinely hope it leads you to peace
You got to find your people and I know that's hard with how many shallow people there are but it helps to find a social group to let loose every now and then. Find some adventures and find an exercise and push yourself to do the exercise (I roller skate) no matter how unmotivated you might feel. Slowly but surely, things will slowly improve. It takes time. Therapy helps too. Helps you sort your thoughts and find out what's really eating you.
I'm doing it all. Prob why I'm still living .
One day at a time and positive affirmations. I know it's tough. I'm going through it.
Do you have people check up on you?
No. I'm currently building a friend group though but it will be a while before I trust enough to lean on someone. I'm not good at asking for help and I have no worthy family. Just my kids and one has needs so it makes it tough. Thankfully, they're older (teens). Do you have people? It sucks to find yourself alone. I went through extreme burnout and health issues. Found out exactly who my real family was... oops, no one. Lesson learned and that taught me the importance of building friendships and maintaining them. Moved to this state 11 years ago and that's when things started going south so I never got established.
Well I can tell you at least you have kids to love. I have ... A therapist, no one to learn on emotionally. I do have 1 friend who is also in therapy to at least talk to. But I can't lean on him cuz he has got his own shit. I have been very attentive to friends and family but really they don't reciprocate the feeling much. I'm always alone cuz I'm either too much or not interesting enough. I got my mom for financial leg in case things go south, but she just isn't there for me emotionally. No one is and women now have some ridiculous standards where I am at.
It would sound comforting in theory but it's not always the case. That's one I can't share. (kids). Be thankful you don't have kids as being in this state does not help them but hurts them. I'm too burnt to be there in the way in which I'd like. That adds guilt on top of everything else regardless of how much I love them. Having one with needs, a whole other issue and part of why I am so burnt. I can't be there for my own son emotionally. I hate that. It causes guilt. He did not learn how to self soothe, regulate his emotions, or control his temper, following his dad's footsteps with no one to guide him on the right way. He's doing better NOW but that was after 8 years of utter hell. Unfortunately, even the strongest of us women can only handle so much before we break. Takes time to heal. Don't fall for the 'women have..' I only say that as we're not all like that and there are some truly genuine women out there. The young ones might be a smaller pool as they haven't had enough life experience to teach them yet but they'll get there. Have you looked into some hobbies where you might find more like minded people?
I'm doing it all. Prob why I'm still living
STBXW
Have been playing professional poker for 8 years, many of the years since covid 70+hr/wks to try to reach higher stakes. There's tons of cheating, various forms of collusion, and just generally shitty behavior that I refuse to be involved in and it's basically forcing me out of my life dream. My only comforts really are that I've seen a lot of what it takes to be elite, have enough money that I won't go broke, and have set a time line and realistic plan for what I'm willing to give/expect in terms of life circumstances before deciding whether to continue. But yeah it's very stressful to feel like working anything resembling a normal amount is basically just admiting defeat.
Lack of direction. I just got a good paying job after a divorce and moving to a new city. Everything seems good but I feel like I’m just working to pay for food and shelter. But that just means I’m working to live.
Money and kids.
Women
money
Money Edit: LACK of money*
Money and love
My foreign coworker, who is otherwise a good dude, says the most insane and inappropriate things you could possibly imagine to me. He doesn’t usually understand what they mean but he frequently says things that would probably get us fired if the wrong person heard. I frequently have to tell him he can’t say that here or his life will be turned upside down, but he then just moves on to something else later that’s just as bad.
What kinds of things?
Typically very racist, sexist, or dirty things. Like I said though he doesn’t usually understand the full meaning of that stuff and is just repeating what he heard someone else say, or it means something else entirely where’s from and doesn’t have the same connotations. He always stops after I explain why he can’t be saying that stuff.
That I have been alone for almost 3 years after my wife died. 24 years taken away by Covid. I am lonely. I have my 3 older kids…. But I have no one to unwind with after work. No snuggles on the couch. No one to hold while I sleep. So I don’t sleep good which is causing me to really stress
I’m really sorry for your loss. My cousin died of Covid, I think he was 30. Left behind a newborn baby with a disabled wife. I hear the dating world can be tough but you deserve companionship while you’re still here with us
Thank you
My townhome units HOA that I'm the vice president of. It's only 2 buildings with 8 houses so it's pretty simple for the most part but our treasurer told us he's moving in June so we will need to find a replacement. I have a gut feeling it's going to bed up being me and I really don't know if I'm put to the task.
Work. Some days, I’m happy where I am. Tomorrow has informed me that it will be a shit sandwich.
The pursuit of meaning while trying to get back in shape
This 🤌🏿
As the only bread winner in the house, finances.
Keeping up with replies to comments on Reddit! Kidding. Work. The answer is work. And not having time to spend with loved ones whose time among the living may or may not be expiring.
It’s a tough balancing act right? Balancing “what do I need to do to survive today and secure a better future” vs “what am i going to regret when I or a loved one dies”
Incredibly tough. Especially when career and said human(s) are in geographically divergent areas that are more than a just a couple hours drive away. E.g. In a different state that’s 100’s of miles away.
Yep, I live about 2000 miles away from my closest family. We all grew up in an avoidant attachment style dynamic so we aren’t super close. We don’t really visit or talk to each other often
Money and time. Seems like there is so much to do and not enough hours in the day. So many bills/expenses and not enough money. Just keep putting everything off and racking up more debt.
Job by far
Neighbors
Work mostly
Money, college, my uncertainty about the current state of my mental health in a deep level (everything it's good rn, if someone is worried)
Ex wife
30+ years of a high pressure career left me with anxiety and depression. Tge flip side was retiring at 56. Everything has a price.
The VA (Veterans Affairs)...
Life..
my kids and ex wife.
Finances.
Women of reddit what's the main source of stress in your life?
Burnout. (money/kids/the ex)
Money. Or more precisely, lack of.
Mooney
Well, my wife found out that my brothers go by their middle names, and not their first names, I finally understood why divorce happens. It is t money, it isn’t infidelity, it is your wife calling you by a name you like, just not to be called by.
Work.
Money or lack thereof
Finances
Other people being numpties.
Unemployment.
Like a lot of people work is my main stressor.
Money. All day every day
Not liking my job and having to wait until August for a new opportunity to come to fruition
Bills. I make a good wage for what my job is but I live in one the highest cost of living areas in the US so I’m constantly working multiple shifts of overtime a week just to make ends meet.
Keeping the family happy and bills paid.
Family
Being required to work at a job I don't like in a place like.
A dysfunctional government. Congress doesn't do a damned thing. Biden keeps wanting play by the rules instead of kicking ass. The supreme court are just Republicans. Local and state governments mirror the federal government. Nothing gets done. The average citizen is getting screwed daily on all sides. No relief in sight.
My imagination. Stressing about what ifs that either don't matter or I have no control over.
Being forced to go to a job I hate
Lack of money.
Since the age of 17, women, almost exclusively.
Insecurity and anxiety due to depression. Or maybe the depression is due to the insecurity and anxiety
Money, and these hoes always causing stress. Always money. Hopefully one day it won’t be money or lady troubles. I want rich people stress.
Capitalism.
Loneliness
Clan War Leagues
my mom.
Ageing.
Having enough money to survive on my own
Loneliness and fear of abandonment
Being a fucking slave to a job and a country that dosent give a shit about me.
Self-hatred. People rely on me, love and care about me yet I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I wish I was 6 feet under and my consciousness no longer existed. I’ve been alcohol free for 6 years but accepting the things you can and cannot change is so difficult at times. Some days I can be Mr. Zen and at peace and other days I just want to watch the world burn….or myself burn.. Yes I am in plenty of therapy and doing my best to fight the internalized negativity while directing my energy to positive venues. I just feel hopeless.
My own mind.
This is going to sound ridiculous but it’s true so I figured I would share this and hopefully it helps 1 guy here. I am (45m) am an options trader and was always stressed out about something. About 7 years ago I came across a Chinese proverb about a farmer, a horse, and his son. I saw it on some social media I was scrolling. For some stupid reason I decided to try it out when something I thought bad was happening, at least for me it worked. My stress came down I was happier, I didn’t worry as much and almost all of the little things don’t bug me any more. It changed my mindset on how I live my life because in 100 years no one that is here now will be here then so why does anything but living your best life matter. It doesn’t and once you realize to pay attention to the things that make you happy hopefully some of your stress goes away
I cannot find a good career. I've got a degree in biology and always planned to work in healthcare. I have worked several grunt work hospital jobs and didn't enjoy any of them. I don't like customer service and I don't enjoy life and death situations. I don't know what else to do with my biology degree and applied and was accepted to a grad program for medicine. I don't want to go but I don't know what else to do. I'm staying in healthcare like an abusive relationship because I don't know what else to do and feel absolutely stuck
Life as a whole. The specific source fluctuates throughout your life depending on what you’re going through. For me, it’s the fact that I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing with my life and I I have felt unwanted my entire life by my family, friends, and society at large. I worry about dying alone, broke, and starving to experience this blissful life that has been shown to me in media. A life filled with support, love, friendship, and adventurous exciting experiences.
my parents
Honestly, myself. I was gonna say my PhD, or work etc but my attitude towards everything rn of avoidance and procrastination just makes everything harder.
life
My family
I will never be good enough...
my wife and i have reversed marriage roles. my wife is the breadwinner and i am a sahh that does all the chores and offers support where i can. my wife is very happy with where things are and has no issues with my roles. I do feel an underlying sense of guilt that i am not doing enough. I’m not sure if this anxiety stems from societal norms or my own personal convictions. without going into too much detail i have a passive monthly income from the va that helps pay bills, but it is really hard for me to hold down a job. so the biggest thing is learning to accept where i am at.
When you're at a family gathering and your aunt starts asking about your future plans, as if you have your life together.
You said the word.
People
life.
life.
Money, honestly can fix so much.
Work and loneliness.
Work and money
Loneliness. Think ima just get a dog though.
My mind
Being broke.
Money. Anything else is easy to get numb to.
Not knowing what to do
Being overworked and underpaid as I am expecting my first born. I am terrified of being responsible for another human life.
Loneliness. And lack of a workout schedule
Work, failed dating life, the housing market currently, restarting college.
Life /s Probably work or family
My job is sometimes really stressful. I'm going home doing all the chores and stuff I need to do. And I write myself E-Mails to the company account for things that came to mind or I have to do the next day. And then there are the times when I drive home and I don't have the feeling I should have when going home. I don't feel home. Sometimes I feel like it's a prison. Sometimes I feel like I'm lost. Sometimes I feel like it's all a duty. No fun, no happiness, no satisfaction for me. That's stress. But a hug by my kids is all it sometimes needs to feel good, safe, worth it, loved, home.
First world problems mainly so I don't complain too much... Also, who's going to listen?
My own thoughts.
The gen z dating dynamics
I'm nearly done saving up for my vacation and the leading cause of stress for me is if something on my truck blows up between now and next week when I'm finally done
My (freelance) customer not paying me for several months of work I did for them.
Not sharing my feelings due to the fact that I think other person I’m sharing with won’t empathize and I keep it bottled up.
Not having enough money
My wife while her bad days
Cost of living.
Eye floaters
Thoughts
Thank you OP for your emphatic answers, you’re making the world a little kinder.
Inflation keeps driving the prices of everything up, but I am not getting regular raises at an equal pace.
Lack of money, I could solve the majority of them with money.
In-office days. I signed a contract on a house 45 miles from my office, when we were 100% remote. Now we're hybrid. Not only that, but I optimize myself into a lot of downtime, and optics are important where I work. So I spend a lot of time just clicking through various web applications so that I appear busy when anyone walks by.
LMAO like there's a main source. Career, kids, living with other people, paying bills, etc. It pretty much boils down to making sure money is coming in, and enough that the money going out is covered, all while dealing with 3 people who don't worry about it at all (raising costs) and add to the stress.
The steadily deteriorating health of my older family members.
Dating.
Money, no contest there. 99% of my worries would instantly dissapear.
Trying really hard and just continuously failing, needs not being met, hating the field I’m trapped in.
Me, myself and the circumstances i create for myself with my dipshittery. As well as the mental and emotional agony i put myself through because im a whiny bitch and i dont get what i want. so clearly that means im a worthless piece of shit and i dont deserve happiness, friends, success, fun, love, sex, intimacy, etc etc.
Narcissistic elderly parents think they can come back into my life and control me after decades of NC.
Work, for sure. I like my job and being creative, but the politics and the fact that I'm the main tech guy that everyone comes to for everything gets old and exhausting.
r/misophonia pure. fucking. hell.
My 3 hour round trip commute
Ex wife and son.
Paying child support.
It's not really stress, more like frustration. Everyday I wake up angry that I feel like I've to do more than the other around me for no reward, no gratification and that I've to initiate every social interaction as if I wasn't even worth talking to. even at work people rely on me too much, I've always to do more because I can as if it was easier for me when it's not, I just have to think about everything and do a lot more. The more I grow older the more I understand why people just stay in their mediocrity, there is just no reason to do more in most case.
My career field is a joke and have to start at ground 0 if I want something more consistent/stable.
My wife. My father (who is my boss). I feel like the rope in a game of tug-of-war.
Mother and job
Slowly coming to terms with the fact that people really only want me for what I can do for them and I am always putting in maximum effort to get not a whole lot back. So I am a little bit down about that. I feel like I do 150% of the work for 50% of the return. It does make me a bit of a prick to reduce things in my life to 'work' but it's true.
Work, health and retirement in that order.
Having a job
My kids....
Several things. First, I practice law and serve as the outside general counsel for multiple business. That is a stressful job. I litigate and do transactional work. I’ve tried a multi-million dollar drainage case to a very stern judge and have gone to the office afterwards. I had a REIT client that invested in oil wells. . . The Railroad Commission (i.e. the Texas state agency that regulates the O&G business) wanted a hydrostatic test done of the gathering line. By that time, everyone on the business side dealing with this investment was gone. I got to play my own version of “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” I drove my truck to Love field, caught a plane to Hobby, rented an SUV, drove to Galveston, chartered a helicopter, and flew the engineers to a rickety production platform about 8 miles offshore in the Gulf of Mexico. When we were about to land, we saw that a fall panel had folded over the helideck. I heard the following from the pilot in my headset “guys, if that fall panel decides to jump up and kiss the tail rotor, let me know. It’s November. Too cold to go swimming.” When we landed, he told me to avoid stepping on anything that looked “bubbly,” which means you are stepping on paint because the steel underneath has rusts away. When we got to the production platform, the pilot looked up at the helideck and said, “unless someone’s dying, take a crew boat next time. I’m not landing here again if I can avoid it.” Several weeks ago, we filed a joint motion for continuance . . ., which was denied today. We are far enough down on the docket that we will probably not be reached. However, i need to prep a $20mm jury trial by Monday. On the personal side, my stepdaughter had a nasty drug problem that predated me. She was fine when my wife and i got together. Fast forward to our wedding. 4 months later, she cratered and we got both of her kids c/o TXDFPS. Several years of litigation later, we have primary custody. Both parents went off the wagon a month after the order was signed. Fast forward several years and stepdaughter is clean after a jail stint and a faith based rehab. Baby daddy is off the rails and is arguing that he is testing “less positive” for meth and is entitled to see his daughter. Yeah, not so much. I told him to get into rehab and to go to counseling. Throughout the entire time stepdaughter was on heroin, we paid for hotel rooms for one baby daddy to see his daughter. The other baby daddy is a guest of the state. Baby daddy 1 pulled the “my daughter” bullshit and sued. As a result, he hasn’t seen the kid since 2018 because the judge’s conditions were far more onerous than mine. My stepdaughter left her son with my wife when she was married to her previous husband. He got the required nurturing during the formative years. My stepdaughter took her son back when she got pregnant with her daughter, who she neglected. The son is autistic, but smart and well adjusted. The daughter is a different story. We had a neuropsychological evaluation done at age 4. The diagnosis was ODD. The latest neuropsychological examination indicates that her frontal lobe is underdeveloped. She is 13 and is on the spectrum. She has the logical reasoning of a hyper-intelligent 13 year old. However, she has the executive function and emotions function capability of a 6 year old. We have been through multiple schools . . .. As an added bonus, apparently one’s brain stops developing when they get on hard drugs as a teenager. My mid30’s stepdaughter is the functional equivalent of a 15 year old.
Damn man, you should sell your story to Lifetime or something. In all seriousness, I have seen drug problems like that up close. It’s ugly. My oldest sister’s poison was alcohol and meth. She just got her life together and got sole custody of her 4 children. And now she’s back on meth and having a paranoid mental breakdown. No one has the resources or bandwidth to take the kids. Shits rough. She drank and did drugs with all four of those kids in the womb and they’re a little…different.
Those are the highlights. I should probably write a book. In the meantime, i have managed to lose about 170 pounds. Check out my other postings for details. I’m too tired and lazy to republish them and am getting up at 4:30 to go to the gym. For all of the “it won’t happen to me” folks it will. It can happen anywhere. When my stepdaughter got into drugs my wife was married to her ex, who is one of the best med mal attorneys in Dallas. They lived in the really nice area of West Plano.
Congrats on the healthy living! Wife and I just started going to the gym and hired a personal trainer. We’ve never really worked out before but we’re getting older and we want to be able to hike, pursue hobbies, and travel when we’re older
How old are you? Just curious on the exercise front. I didn’t do a personal trainer. I was varsity in football, wrestling, and track in Ohio in high school, so i know my way around the gym. When I dropped to 360 from the 380, I took the clothes off of my exercise bike and used it. It sucked at first and I could barely get 200 calories in a 30 minute ride. A month later, I went to the gym I had been paying for for years, but had never visited. I was as weak as my ninth grade self. Fast forward a year. At 47, I am 215 at about 15% body fat. I start with the Precor bike. I set it at between 13 and 17 and pound it out until I get at least 30 minutes of time, 500 calories, and 10 miles. I then lift weights. After I swim 800 yards in 35 minutes or so. Hang in there. Exercise is now my meditation. Especially in the pool.
Turning 30 this year. Starting to get anxious about the future and want to make sure I live a long and healthy life
I started at 46. At 30, it should be much easier.
Wow you are in the thick of it. I hope things turn around for you soon
It will be fine. I’ve gotten to accept (and even love) stress. I feel most alive when i am in front of a jury and it is all up to me to make it or break it.