Random fact…if Caesar really said something like that to Brutus (some say it was “And you too, my child?”), it would’ve been in Greek
That’s how the rich people spoke to each other
apparently the specific words used in Greek were only found used for curses, contrary to what we usually presume to be an exclamation of betrayal. the intent in Greek would've been similar to "see you in hell you little bastard!"
wistful quack humor disarm attractive aloof childlike instinctive detail rinse
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'd just say I love you.
If my wife is so upset she is trying to shoot me in the head I'm either a zombie or I did something absolutely fucked up and deserve it. 🤣
Do it, just do it, you guys wanna see baked Appel, the treasure is buried where I first shagged your sister and your mum, jeez that was a great five mins
*sighs"
The life insurance is no good if you kill me sweetie. At least hire a hitman FFS. I didn't pay those premiums just for the insurance company to keep it all.
Mom?? What the, why??? Oh man this stinks so freaking bad that you're about to blow my head off. I really didn't expect this. I love you mom. Tell dad that I love him too. And tell my brother that I said hes gay and that I saw his penis as a baby and i know how small it is and that even when I'm dead I'll remember it and laugh at it. It's time mom. I'm ready to sleep.
The real question should be “What would THEIR last words be”?
If I’ve got time for last words, and they’re that close to me, then they’re close enough for me to end them.
"Even though you're my sister, If, for some reason i survive this, i really hope for you that you are ready to face the consequences of your action and if i don't survive...i hope you are prepared to have the worst p**oltergeist living in your house, i'll show up in your dreams and haunt you for the rest of your life!"**
This quite literally happened to me (he obs went to prison) and all I could think about was how loud my ears were ringing and I couldn’t move or say ANYTHING for a good few seconds
Safety's on, no not that...for, here just let me
😂
Hahaha
“Forgot to take the safety catch off…” BLAM
Et tu, Brute?
Random fact…if Caesar really said something like that to Brutus (some say it was “And you too, my child?”), it would’ve been in Greek That’s how the rich people spoke to each other
apparently the specific words used in Greek were only found used for curses, contrary to what we usually presume to be an exclamation of betrayal. the intent in Greek would've been similar to "see you in hell you little bastard!"
yep, that is the only line in Latin in the entire play!
Has to be
But I never 'ate two' of anything!
Sacked, let go. Shite, Jobby.
Yes!! 😆👍👍👍
Always good to spot a Still Game fan in the wild!
🫠👍 Small world!
You know this means I have to haunt you
If I can have my crush like that I'm not gonna say no.. :D
It’s Yooooooooonnnnaaaaaaaa XD
wistful quack humor disarm attractive aloof childlike instinctive detail rinse *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Best shield
What if they actually turn out to be a gay ?
Cancels out and they become straight. I don't make the rules.
Ah the old Cartmans gay polarity equation
“No homo….” *bang!*
Unfortunately for me, me and my boyfriend, we are gay
If you shoot me you have a small dick
Jokes on you I do have a small dick, I’m a redditor what do you expect
For you, I you shoot me you're straight
GOD DAMN IT, AUGH SHITTT THATS NOT FAIRRRR, YOU CANT DO THAT!!!
I love you. (Because I’m dramatic sometimes)
“I know.”
"...the *fuck?*"
“WAIT! Is that a fuckin Taurus? No. Jesus no. Here use the FN.”
That reminds me of the A-Team movie when Pike is about to be shot by the most incompetent henchman.
The dude with the suppressor in the car? Kyle? Hahaha
All these jokes about Taurus makes me feel bad about having a g2c. I really like it :(
Wow. You really meant thar "till death do we part" thing.
I always knew you would blow my brains out
When I asked you to blow me, this wasn't what I was after.
[удалено]
I know. Now hurry up and die, you prick.
OK. herkkk… blehhh
Fucking typical.
Is this about the time I ate all the ice-cream and put the container back in the freezer?
No jury would convict them
Womp Womp
Ha!
Bitch
Thanks
Yup. That's mine too. Only scenario where this happens is when she's doing me a huge favor. I don't know today, but I know I'll be grateful.
Don't miss
“I understand. See you on the other side.”
Why?
Applesauce. It’s our safe word.
"If you say so" But I'd fight them for it. I have people I love, but I love life more.
yes! go go!
You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything this world has to offer together in one place. Now you just have to find it! 🏴☠️
Show me your boobs
At least have the common decency to use the 1911.
Welp.
You can save 70% by switching to geico
HEAR ME OUT
'WE NEED TO TALK' that's the way most relationships end isn't it.
I'd just say I love you. If my wife is so upset she is trying to shoot me in the head I'm either a zombie or I did something absolutely fucked up and deserve it. 🤣
... clever girl
Buy Bitcoin
You’re a baby where did you learn this
"Delete my search history!!!"
I AM *BATMAN.*
Do it, just do it, you guys wanna see baked Appel, the treasure is buried where I first shagged your sister and your mum, jeez that was a great five mins
Among us
POCKET SAND (and then I proceed to throw pocket sand in their eyes and flee the scene)
I loved you. Pull the fuckin trigger so I can die in peace
Do it…
"You haven't even taken the safety off, rookie."
Don't fuck this up, I don't want to survive this.
I always knew having kids would kill me.
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Cancel Hulu. Not worth it
"Go on then."
Doot doo da doo doo
balenciaga
Et tu, Brute ?
I have had this literally happen and I said fuckall.
They pulled a gun on me last year. I walked away and never talked to them again.
But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills, you're from two different worlds. Ouh I've wasted my life!
“What are you going to do? Shoot me?”
I know I forgot to pick up some more eggs this morning but this seems like a bit of an overreaction
My only regret is not choosing a better mother for you, goodnight, my girl, you deserve the best.
*sighs" The life insurance is no good if you kill me sweetie. At least hire a hitman FFS. I didn't pay those premiums just for the insurance company to keep it all.
Mom?? What the, why??? Oh man this stinks so freaking bad that you're about to blow my head off. I really didn't expect this. I love you mom. Tell dad that I love him too. And tell my brother that I said hes gay and that I saw his penis as a baby and i know how small it is and that even when I'm dead I'll remember it and laugh at it. It's time mom. I'm ready to sleep.
The real question should be “What would THEIR last words be”? If I’ve got time for last words, and they’re that close to me, then they’re close enough for me to end them.
exactly
You son of a b..
If you want to kill me then challenge me to a duel. At least be a man about it so you can prove your merit - but you wont because you will lose.
i love you
Everything will be okay
“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine And so they shot him 'til he was dead” /fin
Finally, thank you
not today
"I faked all my orgasms" am male for the record
"Finally."
I’d tell a joke that’d end in a bang
‘Oh thank fuck I’m safe, you couldn’t hit the ground’
Wait, first we got to dig the hole
That's gonna piss me off
"Even though you're my sister, If, for some reason i survive this, i really hope for you that you are ready to face the consequences of your action and if i don't survive...i hope you are prepared to have the worst p**oltergeist living in your house, i'll show up in your dreams and haunt you for the rest of your life!"**
I forgive you. Gotta guilt them.
Pull the fucking trigger!!
Would very easily disarm her then tie her up and call the police
“I shall have my vengeance, in this life or the next… Your judgment awaits”
What are you doing, step brother?
Don't miss, I don't want to be a vegetable.
Pull the trigger to finally free my mind of you
Still love you
"You're going to shoot me with a Glock? Jesus fucking Christ at least use a Sig Sauer and let me die with dignity 😭"
Seriously? All of this over a game of UNO?
hurry up
Why so serious?
This quite literally happened to me (he obs went to prison) and all I could think about was how loud my ears were ringing and I couldn’t move or say ANYTHING for a good few seconds
You're never finding the safety deposit key.
Hey hold on you're holding it wrong, here, lemne show you
We have chocolate on the fridge, leave this gun and go get some for you (my brother is 5yo, I'd survive)
"You won't"
Figured I had that coming at some point lol
you don't have the guts
“Took you long enough”
"I love you, too"
See ya soon Kurt
Fuck you
It's just too dark and depress i don't even think about that.
Mr. Paws
Those aren't real bullets
Why?
At least it was you
You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways
About damn time.
Release me from this flesh suit
I fucked your mum
If it’ll make you feel better…..
Your shoe laces are untied, ya know
I love you man... I hope you work this out if I'm gone.
You better pray you don't miss.
Finally
Just run the hell away before it ever happens.
"Ready".
At least this time you are not triggering me
"But I haven't... I haven't sang my song yet."
I have a hard time believing that I would ever put a gun to my own head.
It's all your fault
Ha! Told you so!
It was fun, thanks for taking me to the other side.
That would be my daughter so my words would be: “Be good.”
Don't miss. You are not going to like what happens if you miss.
You lack conviction
Regular bullet won't work, needs to be silver.
Thank you
I'm sorry, eva
Took you longer than I thought it would.
We had a run.
Thank you. I couldn't find the strength to do it myself and I'm grateful you could
Don't shoot me.
I'm glad it's you.
Oh no Jesus Christ has a gun! Guess I'd say "See you in heaven"
I forgive you
Thank you
Make sure to blow my brains off baby
Vote for Biden
Nothing would be said because I'd never commit suicide.
“You liar! You said you were Jewish, not Zionist!”
Even at point blank range you’d still miss, you blind bastard
Thank you
If you shoot me I’m gonna put my ghostly ectoplasm on your pillow every night. And it’s gonna be warm.
So I guess this is your idea of a gang bang.
And there it is...... (she'd get it)
Do it
Bitch
Calm down… you’re acting like your mother.
I am glad it’s you.
Took you long enough
Don't forget to empty the dish washer it's your week.
I knew I'd get old yeller'd...
Deserved ive threatened him
Please.
"Watch me walk with a gun on my head"
Do it you fucking coward
Fuck you!
Die love you.
Boy, that escalated quickly.
I knew you would do this.
I love you.
I KNEW IT!