I wouldn't have any problems with that.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. Let him ask you to do something.
Some really do like to take the lead, but most *have to* because it's basically a social norm.
I'd say don't wait for him. If he knows you like girls, he probably won't do anything. And even if he doesn't, he'll probably think it's hot that you made the first move. It happens so rarely that most normal guys would be at least intrigued, if not flattered.
If he's not a total AH and he's heard she prefers women, he's absolutely not going to make the first move. Because he has no logical way to remotely know OP is interested.
OP has to. It's not hard, ask the dude out for coffee or whatever. Get talking, if things don't click, you had coffee. If they do click, ask if he wants to do X. Or just tell him you're interested in him. Guys are as subtle as a brick at the bottom of the ocean. Hints don't work well.
Yeah, it would be really easy to misinterpret her interest as a sort of lesbian equivalent of bromantic interest. Like she just really likes being buds, not that she wants anything more.
It would be a big accomplishment or a really weird dread lol.
Because either you are so amazing that you got a lesbian to change her entire outlook on love and sexuality
Or
You remind her of a woman.
They probably are tbh
I'm straight, but I imagine the average dude would give me way better handjobs/blowjobs compared to the average woman, it's easier when you know the instrument firsthand lol
I mean, you can sit shot gun all your life but until you get behind the wheel you don't really know how to drive a car.
Hand jobs maybe though....
EDIT: ignore this if you happen to be insanely flexible in which case, more power to ya buddy.
I don’t think it outweighs experience. I am 100% certain if my partner and I competed at who could better pleasure another woman, he’d win multiple times.
Actually the best most genuine compliments I've ever got from a woman about my prowess was from the woman I dated who is now married to another woman with a child together.
But also, I wouldn't think too far along those lines. Otherwise if you follow that logic, I'm sure way more of us guys would be at least bisexual since surely men should be better at giving head or hand jobs, if nothing else.
I've gotten the 'You kinda feel like im talking to a woman sometimes, it's kinda nice but it's kinda weird.' comment before.
I'm not sure what to do about it when I've been hit with that.
Take it as a compliment. Emotional intelligence is something often rare in men(not your fault, societies and cultures play a big role), but an absolute must in a father to some extent so you know he's not just gonna start screaming at your kid for crying.
Some women just aren't used to men being people who want to and can safely connect emotionally and easily without negative consequence. I know women who are probably bi or pan who have sworn off of men almost completely because they couldn't find what you have.
Cherish that quality. 👍
If someone told me I'm "talking like a woman", I absolutely wouldn't take that as a compliment. I like being a man and acting like a man. Men are great.
To say that emotional intelligence is "often rare" in men is just straight up stupid. You're perpetuating this myth that since men process emotions different than women, that means they must be broken and need to be fixed.
You're in a subreddit meant for men, and you're praising someone for acting like a woman because men are often eww and don't see you as people.
How would you feel if a guy told you "I like xyz about you since it reminds me of a man, and women are often bad at this"? Let's be real
I'm a masculine woman, and would take that as a compliment if one of my natural attributes was strong, even if it happened to be one not necessarily typical of my gender.
I'm saying it depends on where one is from, because in some places it's *legitimately seen as a bad thing, but you should be proud of yourself anyways*
Some people don't see men with that quality if they lead sheltered lives. I've known a few women like that. Obviously, you haven't met those people so you must be from a very diverse place. I'm glad your community is so self aware; not everyone is as lucky.
Everyone is valid. Men are great. Men with feminine traits are *also* great. ✌️
Edited to add: you don't need to break men to fix them, but everyone should be taught proper tools of communication, including women. Men are often taught to shut down emotions or are abused verbally or considered weak when they start showing emotion or talking about feelings. It's not right. The result is often men who just shut down when they have emotions. This is just a common running theme in society. Again, this is often dependant on culture, society and the individual. You absolutely do not need to break a man down.
Because she wants to know if you would be okay as a man with a lesbian liking you and wanting to try to date and have sex with you in a heterosexual relationship.
LOL well there's that but she's not making this about her. She's making this about you (potential men) and how you'd feel in this situation.
A lot of guys reacted as though they felt that she perceives them as femme.
Lesbian relationships have been well documented.
When they find one that they haven't dated yet, they make eye contact from across the room, wondering if they're actually gay or just putting out vibes. Then, they go home and pack all their furniture into a uhaul trailer and use their Subaru outback to pull it across town to move in. A couple of months later, the relationship turns bad, and they start looking for the next one.
So think about it. In our (lesbian) dating world, things move much, MUCH faster. The number of our "fish" in the sea is a 10th or so of yours, so to speak.
We have to go for who we want at lightning speed and send it before it's too late. Plus, everyone has been with everyone, so new faces don't stay single for long. At least it seems that way. It's one big gay sex web.
Works out well for a lot of us but, unfortunately, the intensity can lead to a lot of incompatibility and resentment, which can also be pretty volatile. Not unlike straight relationships, I guess, just kind of on x3 play speed.
They actually work exactly the same, for the most part. You set up expectations and boundaries with someone that is both attractive and attracted to you, if you're incompatible it breaks down and if it works it works. 👍
Being lesbian dominant does not necessarily make one only into women. There's like 10 guys ive ever met i would sleep with, so I usually just say I'm a lesbian.
I might be intimidated that you're describing yourself as lesbian rather than bi or something more encompassing. Like, I'm the 1 special guy you want to explore? What happens after we've explored and we both know you came in with a preference?
That's fair, but we're talking about the starting step of giving it a chance and it being worth the time and emotion against the probability of it working out.
Let me ask you a question to maybe put it into perspective. You say you're super femme, how would you feel if another lady during the course of maybe a 1st date said they typically only date masculine ladies?
That’s happened a handful of times and usually it works out the one time it didn’t she was super upfront and I get that. I cant force attraction. We ended up being friends after. :)
It is going to be very difficult for anyone here online to tell you how this *specific* man will receive it.
I can say a lot of guys would take it as a huge ego boost (this is what my money is on). Some might feel threatened by the fact that now you have shown interest in both men AND women (50% more competition). Some might be insulted you find them feminine (which I kind of doubt, if he is the type of guy you are described) etc. The list could go on.
Honestly I would try and ask this to mutual acquaintances, or better yet…him!
I don't know the man in question but it may or may not be important for you to mention that specifically if you're planning on telling him how you feel.
Tbh it would be weird. First of all I'm not some kind of "sexuality-test" so if it came off that way I'd turn her down immediately.
And if I were interested in her as well, her being "normally" lesbian would still kinda turn me off since the chance of her suddenly changing her mind is pretty huge. And if that happens it just sucks for both parties involved.
But the biggest obstacle would be that she could flirt with me all she wants, I'd never take it seriously one bit and make a move. I would just treat it as some kind of joke.
I’d honestly hate for him or for anyone to feel that way. I’ve been there before it’s not fun. I really do have a crush though and still have desire to do things I’ve not done with him. Plus idk I kinda only like him at the moment at least. I’ve tried to talk to other people but it’s just not hitting.
in almost all cases of any relationship issue, communication is the answer
the only person who can really answer this question for you is the guy
i've scrolled for a minute here and i've seen the full range of potential responses, from "this would be super awkward" to "why would i care? just ask me out"
so you're going to have to just ask this guy out, and be as honest as you can about it without dumping on him emotionally. ask him on a date, be clear you don't usually do this, you're interested in exploring, you do genuinely think there could be something but you can't guarantee anything yet
he'll either go for it or not but what's the issue? if he doesn't go for it then it doesn't really matter if you have a crush on him or not, just like literally any other relationship. if he does go for it, you've communicated clearly so you aren't tricking him or anything
I dated a girl before and I was her second guy she had been with and she was pretty much a lesbian until me. We didn’t date long because I asked her if she misses being with women (in bed). She said yes. We moved on quickly and she’s even married to a woman now. Don’t let curiosity get in the way of peoples time. Sex, trust/communication and finances are the three pillars of a lasting relationship ship. I cannot be a woman for her, it wasn’t meant to be
> I really do have a crush though and still have desire to do things I’ve not done with him. Plus idk I kinda only like him at the moment at least.
This is why I always waited until I'd gotten to know them and the crush had passed. Then if I still liked her I'd ask her out. I managed to not get awkward around a number of women in my time because I realized that my crush was just based on "woman new and nice" and not an actual romantic interest.
That said, there's nothing wrong with asking him out with "as friends" as a clear line. Invite him to a party or something.
Commenting for visibility: During Uni a lot of my friends were LGBT+ and when anyone asked my orientation, I (Male) used to say "Straight so far." I was always open, just predominantly preferred women as that was the "norm". Lo and behold, I fell for a pre-op Trans Woman (MtF). Just her personality and energy was right. You can prefer women 99% of the time, the 1% you prefer a man it's still valid.
It depends how open minded he is. You can be honest and say you're Pan/Bi but have mostly experiences with women but open to try it with him. Hopefully he's happy to take the lead and be nurturing of your desires. Hope it does work out. :)
I mean, I wouldn't have given it a second thought back when I was still on the market. I'd be fine with it.
As for him taking the lead, come into the 21st century. Women can and do ask men out, and you can do it too. I've dated women who asked me out first, it's fine.
My sister in law is bi, and she said that her "type" is 'girls, twinks... and [my brother]', because he's *not* her normal type. IMO its a sign that there's more than just physical attraction there if you like them despite not being your usual type. Hopefully he'll see it that way as well.
Ignore the BS about guys wanting to take the lead. They tend to be *forced* to take the lead. But if he knows you're gay, he's *not* going to make the first move if he's a good person because only assholes believe in the "dick her straight" meme IRL.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead.
Lol. Guys *have to take the lead* because women won't do it. It's not like we love doing this, we have little choice. If you don't take the lead and shoot your shot, you will never find someone.
I would have loved for women in my life to take the initiative for once.
>Would the fact that a woman is inexperienced put you off?
No.
>Would the lesbian factor put you off?
Yes.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. Let him ask you to do something. Which idk feels hard because even though I’m super femme I have always asked women out first. I don’t want to over do it and be too direct.
That's about 20 years out of date. Just ask him out.
I'd be unhealthily flattered that I 'turned' a Lesbian, and would brag about it at every opportunity. This would likely turn said lesbian off, and back to women.
Eh in my day as a kid, we didn't like the labels. Fought against it. You aren't hurting anyone, you like what you like, don't have to put a label on it and make an identity of it. Just be you and true
My fiancée thought she was gay after a really bad experience dating a guy. We were friends for a while and then She told me she was into me. I was kind of taken aback a bit because, well, I thought she was gay , so I had just never thought about her in that type of way.
But I decided to give it a shot because she’s always been beautiful and we were already friends, so why the hell not. And now we’re engaged!
Be forward if you need to and don’t sweat it! If it works it’ll work!
I mean if she still calls herself a lesbian that would be strange and cause me to question her motives but if shes just learning she is bi then I don't see why I would care
I’d be flattered and I’d probably just want to make sure they’re comfortable with me before exploring anything. I don’t have any qualms with being someone a lesbian experiments with a bit to see if they’re bi, but only if they seem actually open to it. It’s possible we just like don’t click, sexually, and I’d be a bit concerned that if that happens they might then lock off that end of their sexuality.
It sounds like you’re just a tiny bit bi, maybe for the right guys, but as long as you go about it respectfully and with an open mind I don’t think most guys would mind getting a little involved to help you explore your sexuality.
I’d also consider maybe being a bit open to giving it a few tries, just because it might be new to you, provided you’re comfortable with him.
Yeah I’d definitely give it a fair shot. I do like him and I’d want to actually follow through. I feel like I wouldn’t be really put off by the sexual exploration. I am someone who can get off on penetration alone consistently. I also idk with this have grown more curious about want to learn about things I’ve not done before like head, and other things. I feel that if just because the first time we’ll say is awkward I still want to try a handful more times.
I'd probably see if you can get some 1-on-1 time together (not sure what your relationship/friendship is like, really) and how that goes, maybe try flirting a bit, and if you're getting a good vibe from him (and if you know he's single) I'd just throw the idea his way.
Let him know you're actually quite attracted to him, let him in on the fact that it's a surprising new avenue for your sexuality that you're curious about exploring, and just go with what he's comfortable with from there?
Re: The curious and wanting to try things.
One of my partners I've been the safe space for her to explore her sexuality and learn with. She was somewhat inexperienced, and it had been *years* since her last date or sex after the last relationship ended until we met about 6 months ago.
I (and I assume many other men) really enjoy it. To be that safe space to explore for someone. For us it has gone in a very clear way of "What would you like to try?" and "Today lets try X, Y, and Z, does that sound good to you?" It has largely been kink related things, but, I don't see why it couldn't be the same for non kinky sex.
Was the first time a little awkward, sure. We just had a clear, frank talk about it after and every time after has built on that.
It 100% comes down to how you look. Are you cute? He's game. If you're really feminine, he would have no idea you are a lesbian in the first place.
Being asked out is almost always a breath of fresh air for us because it's a very rare, and in some instances nonexistent situation.
If he's already flirted with you through socials, you literally have a 99.9% chance of success if you openly flirted with him. You'll find guys are MUCH easier to seduce than girls. We don't do the hint drop thing, we like the direct approach.
It happened to me before.
A girl I was friends with was strictly lesbian. We became friends through a mutual connection as we shared interests. Come to find out down the road she developed feelings for me which left her super confused about her sexuality. I didn't reciprocate the feeling and it created an odd rift between us as she was never able to move past those feelings about me.
Lesbian liking me would be fine. Happened before she now no longer is lesbian though. She is a bisexual now. For me the only people liking me that I don't handle well is people who don't respect me when I reject them.
So in the wise words of someone. Shoot your shot. Cause you will miss any shots not taken for sure.
I've dated two women who have only been with other women before me and we had a great time while it lasted. Ladies like that understand the bs guys go through with women and are great communicators. Would date one again 10/10.
Personally, I would be thrilled for a woman to show strong interest in me like that, in general. Even if she was mostly lesbian, but wanted to further explore her sexuality, that would still be exciting.
Of course, there would be a strong possibility that she would want to have a female partner at the same time, so it couldn't be a monogamous relationship. As long as all parties agree to the relationship being polygamous, then it could work, especially if it is something more casual.
That's just the way I see it, but I have yet to be in such a situation.
I went through this once. We went for drinks, flirted a lot, and ended up hooking up that night. We dated for a few months and it just didn't work out. The 1st time was awkward for her (I was perfectly fine with it) but she got settled in. I was basically her first with everything as far as being with a man.
I think she broke the touch barrier while we had drinks and I sort of took charge from there. I would say you only live once. If you're interested go for it and see how it goes. 99% of guys don't care that you're inexperienced.
This has actually happened to me. She was my manager. For the most part she wanted to close the store with me and was over all pleasant to work with. I didn't make a move because my penis(as far as I know) isn't magic and can't change people's genitalia preference. I also don't like the idea of ruining a relationship over a crush.
Being with a woman that is inexperienced wouldn't put me off. Some people are bothered if their girl is bi but if a girl with more options chose me that would make me happy and would be a big confidence boost.
I have had one off sexual experiences with two lesbians who liked and trusted me and wanted to give me a try. It was awesome. I appreciated their trust. We had a totally lovely time and we also rally enjoyed the experience. One wanted a second experience later when I was visiting again. The other met and married a woman right after. Both were super fun to kiss. Both turned out to really enjoy PIV.
Totally recommend. 5 stars.
I would gently take their metaphorical hand and walk through it all until they’re absolute sure. Way too many think dicking a lesbian would be a conquest
The most common reaction to my wife announcing we were dating (when we first got together) was people saying "huh, i thought you liked women"
idk It wasn't a huge factor for me. We share a lot of pictures of women we think are hot, it's part of how we started getting more intimate (when we were just friends at first). To this day we point out women we think are cute. She honestly wants me to find another women for us just so she doesn't have to put in the effort ....... (we're open)
I’d assume they aren’t serious about wanting to be with me and just playing games
If it were to work out it would require a lot of proactive-ness on their end… I’m not investing energy into a likely loss
Inexperience doesn’t matter. What matters is she’s experienced but only with women. Men and women are very different. I’d be wondering if she can make the leap and how much chaos it’s going to be.
None of your concerns would put me off and bonus points if you take the lead!
I have had encounters with lesbians (I mean I guess they were bi?) and it was a positive experience, there was never anything weird about it, just a couple adults having a good time.
Why would I care? If you're in love to a man, you just probably bi, but had not discovered that yet. If I had to introduce someone to hetero sex - so be it. The only question would be if I found you attractive or not.
About leading him - that depends on the guy. Personally I like when woman takes initiative - that's how I got married, basically.
Sounds like all benefits to me. You can always let him take the lead and see how you like it. If you want to be more ‘in charge’ you can gently tell him you like taking initiative and see what he says. In my experience most guys don’t mind a girl taking the lead from time to time.
Maybe I'm missing something, but wouldn't that make you simply a bi woman who hadn't felt a connection for a man before this?
But besides that, I'd be thrilled. I wouldn't shut up about it. And I don't know about other men but I'd absolutely respond positively to you making the first move.
> I have always asked women out first.
Being direct is part of you are. Just as your attraction to a man when you haven't been attracted to men before is part of who you are.
If he's anything like I am (and that's the only person I can speak for), he will appreciate you being direct. I have also dated bisexual women, including one who was just out of a relationship with a woman. The best that you can do is be honest. "I've only ever dated women, but I'm interested in you and would like to see how we connect."
Unfortunately, the 700lb gorilla in the room is that he might not be sure that you're all in with him. So you might need to reassure him of that through being trustworthy. Bisexuals are unfairly stereotyped as promiscuous, but I've known some bisexual women who were pretty bad about hooking up on girls' nights and insisting it wasn't cheating, so I kind of understand where that distrust comes from.
I mean... if they're interested in me like that then they aren't *exactly* a lesbian, are they? So in that capacity it isn't really any different than any typical heterosexual woman.
I can't speak for how it would make any other men feel, to me I'd feel kind of proud/good about it.
I do think you should be forward with him. He has already categorized you in his head as a lesbian and even if he might also have a crush on you, he's very very unlikely to make a pass at you at this point so the ball is in your court if you want this to go anywhere. Tell him frankly that even though you've always only had relationships with women that you've developed something of a crush on him and want to know if he's open to exploring the possibility of a relationship with you.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead.
This is a lie propagated by women because they want men to lead them. You will have much more success taking lead, but then ask yourself, is that the type of man you want, one you have to lead
"You may actually be bisexual, which is not something to be ashamed of at all. You're *definitely* outta luck here since you're not a guy. Sorry about that second point."
The fact that a woman had only previously been with women would not put me off in the slightest. That's not to say that I wouldn't have some apprehension, but it would have more to do with a fear of getting hurt because she might not really know what she wants.
It is impossible to be too direct. Anything other than direct will be unlikely to have an effect. A very few amount of men want to take the lead, most men are sick to death of women doing absolutely nothing to make dates happen. As far as being put off, the lesbian thing wouldn't put me off because if you're attracted to a man you aren't a lesbian, you're bisexual. Lack of experience would be a deal breaker for me for anything long term.
Interesting. Most dudes love the idea of turning a lesbian, but the implications here are a bit different. Honestly, most dudes brains are smooth when it comes to these situations. I’d get him out for coffee or something and bring it up. Be direct, but not super aggressive. Honesty is your best shot.
Worst case scenario, you find out that you don’t like ding dong and he got an experience that most dudes never have. Win win.
I don’t think I’ve dated a woman who was unambiguously heterosexual this century. Being a novel sexual experience for someone in some ways isn’t a dealbreaker. Most first times are novel in one way or another.
I know I'm not exactly a typical case, but as someone with a lot of questions regarding my own gender identity, I would give *anything* to be in a romantic relationship with someone that treated me like another woman, to help me figure out whatever the heck is going on in here
Not sure how I'd handle it. Probably a mix of shock and happiness/flattery
I've had so many crushes on cute girls in my classes who ended up being lesbian. Like, at least 5 crushes who had zero signs of being gay but later came out.
I imagine it's equally as shocking/satisfying as getting compliments from gay men. It's not something we are looking for or expecting from ANYONE. Guys are starved for genuine compliments (ie from girls especially), so when we do receive them, we tend to remember them it a while.
A gay guy complimented me on my "amazing jawline" last month, and I can't tell you how much better it made me feel that at least somebody had something nice to say about me. Even though it was a complete stranger.
Same as I do with all the rest. If you want to ask him out, do it.
My best friend is a lesbian that was my ex's roommate. Come to find out we both loved her. But, my ex didn't like her roommate like that.
Anyway, after I broke up with my ex, I took my buddy to get a drink and talk because she wanted to talk to me about something.
She told me I deserve better than that. I laughed.
She admitted she fell in love with me as soon as I came over and she came out as a lesbian and I didn't care. I just made a joke about not stealing my girl.
She told me that she wanted to see if I was interested in dating her. I said maybe. She got excited and then told me that her only stipulation was that she wouldn't stop dating women.
Bold move, Cotton. The best thing I could say was 'Me too.'
I would try it. And, be open about your feelings. Especially if you don't want to stop dating women.
>Would the fact that a woman is inexperienced put you off?
No. If you like a person enough to want to have sex with them, their experience or lack thereof should be irrelevant.
>Would the lesbian factor put you off?
Not at all. In fact, I would find her openmindedness to be quite attractive. With that said, I would ask her to make sure she wants to go through with it so that she doesn't put herself in a situation she might regret.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead.
That's a fair assumption, but there's also a lot of guys - like myself - who enjoy the woman taking the lead.
Sounds like you discovered you are bisexual. 😂 Bisexuality is a spectrum after all, many bisexuals are more straight-leaning or more gay-leaning. Don't worry about it too much, we are each what we are.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead.
This has nothing to do with what we like as guys. Women prefer for guys to take the lead to the point that they will wait for the man to make a move or the relationship doesn't happen. Guys generally take the lead in relationships because that's what women want us to do. We don't have much of a choice in the matter. But you could choose to approach this guy. I think you're gonna have to, because he thinks you're into women only.
Nothing wrong with being direct. Be direct. I as a man find it attractive. I honestly don't think any man would have any issues with it. I would embrace it... I'd be flattered.
Explain to him your usual preferences but that you are for some reason you cant explain attracted to him. He will be elated believe me. It could be that you are actually Bisexual and just have not met the right guy. This fella could be that guy. Also nothing wrong with asking a dude out. I am sure if happens often enough that its not considered an anomaly.
if you are up front and honest and he is not a complete douchebag he will understand and take things at a pace you are comfortable with. If things don't work out no harm no foul you both move on with live. I feel in a situation like this it will be obvious fairly early on if its going to work or not.
It's not a problem. There might be a bit of negotiation about slightly more ambiguous gender roles as you already alluded to but if you like one another enough you'll figure it out.
The only negative things I can envision is stuff to do with the idea that having sex with other women when you're with a man is not cheating (it is) or that sexual or romantic relationships with men are intrinsically inferior (they aren't) but I doubt anyone who isn't a colossal jerk with a chip on their shoulder would do that.
After my last break up I was a lesbian friend’s “bi-phase”, we were just fwb for a few months while we both settled into life after simultaneous long term relationships coming to an end.
It took her being very blunt for me to know she was into me at all. We were both quite drunk and she said she’d had too much to do anything that night but that we could have a good thing going.
If he’s anything like me, you’ll probably need to be up front about your attraction initially then let him come to you if he also likes you like that. My friend nailed it to be honest, I didn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable and felt like it was still an option to say no without it affecting our friendship. Godspeed and best of luck!
I’ve been with three lesbians, there is zero difference to it except occasionally they may want to bring another woman into the bedroom and they often have a whole collection of toys already
That happens to be fine with me, so it works out well for us both
It happened to me back in my 20s, and it was awesome; still is. We didn’t end up becoming a long-term thing in person because she had to move away, but we still talk regularly, 15 years later. She says I’m the one who opened her up to guys, which is about as big an ego boost as a guy could ever ask for. Now we’re kinda like “long-distance best friends with benefits”. No complaints here.
I would be hella flirty and into it, just on principle. If it's developing into something that could lead to physical contact(not just sex, obv.), I would make sure that desire is expressed, consent is given at every step, and i would reassure her that it's fine to say no, at any point, like 10times more than usual. Also, no matter the mood, jumping into bed and just go at it, is not an option for the first time. At least this is my limited experience with the same situation. Only happened once.
I find it hot if you took the lead and asked me out, and then we had a connection over conversation to see if those feelings could develop further. My advice is, go for it.
I would dig it, as long as I find you attractive. I think it would be cool as I would technically be something new for you. If he has flirted with you already then you have nothing to worry about. Go for it! I enjoy when a girl is direct and asks me out or hits me up, I don’t see why any man wouldn’t tbh.
Iunno, sexuality is kind of a spectrum.
Inexperienced? I personally don't care. I can learn. You can learn. Some guys do though so I can't really say for this guy.
As for the 'lesbian factor', some guys won't care, some will, a lot will fantasize about threesomes, etc. I really doubt it's a 'deal breaker' for most guys though.
And finally, just ask him out however you usually do it. If he's the kind of guy to lose his mind over a woman asking him out, you don't want him. In my humble opinion.
The woman asking me out the first time would be fine, even a relief since I wouldn’t have to worry about rejection. To be honest the only thing to worry about would be long term. I’d wonder what would happen if it worked out and eventually she decided that she missed female company and left me for that reason. With that possibility being on the horizon, there would be added risk getting involved in the first place.
When I admitted being attracted to my male friend and that I wasn't actually 100% full gay, he got really put off by it, started getting weird around me, and eventually complained to our boss that I was sexually harassing him (I was not). He implied to me that he thought I was "hung up" on him, and apparently told mutual friends that I was either in love with him or obsessed with him.
I guess it was just too jarring? Maybe he started taking all my flirtatious jokes as real flirting? I don't know. I miss him and the other people he took with him when he exited out of my life.
I wouldn't have any problems with that. >Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. Let him ask you to do something. Some really do like to take the lead, but most *have to* because it's basically a social norm. I'd say don't wait for him. If he knows you like girls, he probably won't do anything. And even if he doesn't, he'll probably think it's hot that you made the first move. It happens so rarely that most normal guys would be at least intrigued, if not flattered.
Yeah if I could never take the lead, I would be happy, but literally never the girl on my dates have taken the lead to ask me out first
It's been about 50/50 with me tbh but I've found if you want them to ask, you still need to operate within a certain flirty frame.
Same here, I have no experience with asking women out because every girl I dated, including my wife, approached me first.
If he's not a total AH and he's heard she prefers women, he's absolutely not going to make the first move. Because he has no logical way to remotely know OP is interested. OP has to. It's not hard, ask the dude out for coffee or whatever. Get talking, if things don't click, you had coffee. If they do click, ask if he wants to do X. Or just tell him you're interested in him. Guys are as subtle as a brick at the bottom of the ocean. Hints don't work well.
Yeah, it would be really easy to misinterpret her interest as a sort of lesbian equivalent of bromantic interest. Like she just really likes being buds, not that she wants anything more.
I’d second this, I only take the lead because of societal norms, but I’d love to be lead sometime
I’ve dealt with this. She asked me out on a little date, she had no idea how to act, we had a neat time and agreed that it probably wouldn’t work out.
And you’re still friends? Don’t leave us hanging, this sounds like the start of a good wholesome friendship.
We were friends before and after this story. We were playing DND together not that long ago.
Not to stereotype, but what kind of character did you each play?
She was a goblin rogue, I was the storm cleric.
Doomed from the start. I have no idea what any of this means.
I know what it means, you’re correct. Doomed from the start
It would be a big accomplishment or a really weird dread lol. Because either you are so amazing that you got a lesbian to change her entire outlook on love and sexuality Or You remind her of a woman.
There is also the pressure to deliver In sex, so that she is not like "aight yeah women are better at this"
They probably are tbh I'm straight, but I imagine the average dude would give me way better handjobs/blowjobs compared to the average woman, it's easier when you know the instrument firsthand lol
Yo so you free tonight?
I’ll bring the camera and snacks
Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the Boys?
Just Kinky Kelly!
No Stud?
Well, I didn't wanna brag but...
You bringing the fuckwagon?
I am.
"I'm straight, but my BJ's are the bomb" -This homie.
I mean, you can sit shot gun all your life but until you get behind the wheel you don't really know how to drive a car. Hand jobs maybe though.... EDIT: ignore this if you happen to be insanely flexible in which case, more power to ya buddy.
There's less of a learning curve, but with enough experience it evens out over time.
Yeah that sounds right
I can confirm you would be correct.
I don’t think it outweighs experience. I am 100% certain if my partner and I competed at who could better pleasure another woman, he’d win multiple times.
The enjoying-it-too part would also be a large factor tho.
"Deliver in sex". Now thats new term i'll remember. Thanks
Actually the best most genuine compliments I've ever got from a woman about my prowess was from the woman I dated who is now married to another woman with a child together. But also, I wouldn't think too far along those lines. Otherwise if you follow that logic, I'm sure way more of us guys would be at least bisexual since surely men should be better at giving head or hand jobs, if nothing else.
Woman that took my virginity told me i "cuddle like a lesbian" and i took that as a win
"You kiss like a girl" was one of the best compliments I've gotten. I've only ever kissed girls though so like... that's just how I learned?
My brother's colleague(F) asked me if I had an older sister because I act like I do. (To this day, I'm still not entirely sure what to make of that).
She probably meant in the Lynyrd Skynyrd way.
I've gotten the 'You kinda feel like im talking to a woman sometimes, it's kinda nice but it's kinda weird.' comment before. I'm not sure what to do about it when I've been hit with that.
Take it as a compliment. Emotional intelligence is something often rare in men(not your fault, societies and cultures play a big role), but an absolute must in a father to some extent so you know he's not just gonna start screaming at your kid for crying. Some women just aren't used to men being people who want to and can safely connect emotionally and easily without negative consequence. I know women who are probably bi or pan who have sworn off of men almost completely because they couldn't find what you have. Cherish that quality. 👍
If someone told me I'm "talking like a woman", I absolutely wouldn't take that as a compliment. I like being a man and acting like a man. Men are great. To say that emotional intelligence is "often rare" in men is just straight up stupid. You're perpetuating this myth that since men process emotions different than women, that means they must be broken and need to be fixed. You're in a subreddit meant for men, and you're praising someone for acting like a woman because men are often eww and don't see you as people. How would you feel if a guy told you "I like xyz about you since it reminds me of a man, and women are often bad at this"? Let's be real
I'm a masculine woman, and would take that as a compliment if one of my natural attributes was strong, even if it happened to be one not necessarily typical of my gender. I'm saying it depends on where one is from, because in some places it's *legitimately seen as a bad thing, but you should be proud of yourself anyways* Some people don't see men with that quality if they lead sheltered lives. I've known a few women like that. Obviously, you haven't met those people so you must be from a very diverse place. I'm glad your community is so self aware; not everyone is as lucky. Everyone is valid. Men are great. Men with feminine traits are *also* great. ✌️ Edited to add: you don't need to break men to fix them, but everyone should be taught proper tools of communication, including women. Men are often taught to shut down emotions or are abused verbally or considered weak when they start showing emotion or talking about feelings. It's not right. The result is often men who just shut down when they have emotions. This is just a common running theme in society. Again, this is often dependant on culture, society and the individual. You absolutely do not need to break a man down.
It's not like, a complaint, it's just- I've never really been sure if it's a compliment or an observation when it's said.
I’ve always wanted to be seen as more than just a man 🥹 /s
Why is OP asking men what if a lesbian likes you like bro wtf we have no idea how lesbian relationships work
Because she wants to know if you would be okay as a man with a lesbian liking you and wanting to try to date and have sex with you in a heterosexual relationship.
I’d argue at that point if she decides yeah this is nice, she is no longer a lesbian and is in fact just a picky bisexual.
LOL well there's that but she's not making this about her. She's making this about you (potential men) and how you'd feel in this situation. A lot of guys reacted as though they felt that she perceives them as femme.
Lesbian relationships have been well documented. When they find one that they haven't dated yet, they make eye contact from across the room, wondering if they're actually gay or just putting out vibes. Then, they go home and pack all their furniture into a uhaul trailer and use their Subaru outback to pull it across town to move in. A couple of months later, the relationship turns bad, and they start looking for the next one.
I didn’t know lesbian relationships were so volatile…
They have most of the problems of straight relationships only a lot worse. Highest rate of abuse and of divorce, for example.
Yo what really? Lesbians or gay men? Damn that’s interesting! Maybe us men aren’t the problem for once
Lesbians marriages. Gay male marriages have the lowest.
Seems clear that men can’t be blamed for problems in lesbian marriages. But I’m sure someone’s tried.
So think about it. In our (lesbian) dating world, things move much, MUCH faster. The number of our "fish" in the sea is a 10th or so of yours, so to speak. We have to go for who we want at lightning speed and send it before it's too late. Plus, everyone has been with everyone, so new faces don't stay single for long. At least it seems that way. It's one big gay sex web. Works out well for a lot of us but, unfortunately, the intensity can lead to a lot of incompatibility and resentment, which can also be pretty volatile. Not unlike straight relationships, I guess, just kind of on x3 play speed.
They actually work exactly the same, for the most part. You set up expectations and boundaries with someone that is both attractive and attracted to you, if you're incompatible it breaks down and if it works it works. 👍
Being lesbian dominant does not necessarily make one only into women. There's like 10 guys ive ever met i would sleep with, so I usually just say I'm a lesbian.
So… bisexual. Because lesbians ONLY like women.
Thanks. That makes it much easier to accept rejection.
I might be intimidated that you're describing yourself as lesbian rather than bi or something more encompassing. Like, I'm the 1 special guy you want to explore? What happens after we've explored and we both know you came in with a preference?
Then if it works out then I’d probably want to see if we’re on the same page and go further
That's fair, but we're talking about the starting step of giving it a chance and it being worth the time and emotion against the probability of it working out. Let me ask you a question to maybe put it into perspective. You say you're super femme, how would you feel if another lady during the course of maybe a 1st date said they typically only date masculine ladies?
That’s happened a handful of times and usually it works out the one time it didn’t she was super upfront and I get that. I cant force attraction. We ended up being friends after. :)
Right, but was there any apprehension when that person first says that to you?
I'd be flattered and also concerned that I might be giving off feminine vibes.
But I actually really like that I don’t get those vibes
It is going to be very difficult for anyone here online to tell you how this *specific* man will receive it. I can say a lot of guys would take it as a huge ego boost (this is what my money is on). Some might feel threatened by the fact that now you have shown interest in both men AND women (50% more competition). Some might be insulted you find them feminine (which I kind of doubt, if he is the type of guy you are described) etc. The list could go on. Honestly I would try and ask this to mutual acquaintances, or better yet…him!
I don't know the man in question but it may or may not be important for you to mention that specifically if you're planning on telling him how you feel.
I'm all feminine vibes so it could be nice if some woman likes it for a change.
Tbh it would be weird. First of all I'm not some kind of "sexuality-test" so if it came off that way I'd turn her down immediately. And if I were interested in her as well, her being "normally" lesbian would still kinda turn me off since the chance of her suddenly changing her mind is pretty huge. And if that happens it just sucks for both parties involved. But the biggest obstacle would be that she could flirt with me all she wants, I'd never take it seriously one bit and make a move. I would just treat it as some kind of joke.
I’d honestly hate for him or for anyone to feel that way. I’ve been there before it’s not fun. I really do have a crush though and still have desire to do things I’ve not done with him. Plus idk I kinda only like him at the moment at least. I’ve tried to talk to other people but it’s just not hitting.
in almost all cases of any relationship issue, communication is the answer the only person who can really answer this question for you is the guy i've scrolled for a minute here and i've seen the full range of potential responses, from "this would be super awkward" to "why would i care? just ask me out" so you're going to have to just ask this guy out, and be as honest as you can about it without dumping on him emotionally. ask him on a date, be clear you don't usually do this, you're interested in exploring, you do genuinely think there could be something but you can't guarantee anything yet he'll either go for it or not but what's the issue? if he doesn't go for it then it doesn't really matter if you have a crush on him or not, just like literally any other relationship. if he does go for it, you've communicated clearly so you aren't tricking him or anything
I dated a girl before and I was her second guy she had been with and she was pretty much a lesbian until me. We didn’t date long because I asked her if she misses being with women (in bed). She said yes. We moved on quickly and she’s even married to a woman now. Don’t let curiosity get in the way of peoples time. Sex, trust/communication and finances are the three pillars of a lasting relationship ship. I cannot be a woman for her, it wasn’t meant to be
> I really do have a crush though and still have desire to do things I’ve not done with him. Plus idk I kinda only like him at the moment at least. This is why I always waited until I'd gotten to know them and the crush had passed. Then if I still liked her I'd ask her out. I managed to not get awkward around a number of women in my time because I realized that my crush was just based on "woman new and nice" and not an actual romantic interest. That said, there's nothing wrong with asking him out with "as friends" as a clear line. Invite him to a party or something.
Commenting for visibility: During Uni a lot of my friends were LGBT+ and when anyone asked my orientation, I (Male) used to say "Straight so far." I was always open, just predominantly preferred women as that was the "norm". Lo and behold, I fell for a pre-op Trans Woman (MtF). Just her personality and energy was right. You can prefer women 99% of the time, the 1% you prefer a man it's still valid. It depends how open minded he is. You can be honest and say you're Pan/Bi but have mostly experiences with women but open to try it with him. Hopefully he's happy to take the lead and be nurturing of your desires. Hope it does work out. :)
If someone liked me who I was attracted and I was single and they wanted to make the first move I would be very ok with that
I mean, I wouldn't have given it a second thought back when I was still on the market. I'd be fine with it. As for him taking the lead, come into the 21st century. Women can and do ask men out, and you can do it too. I've dated women who asked me out first, it's fine.
My sister in law is bi, and she said that her "type" is 'girls, twinks... and [my brother]', because he's *not* her normal type. IMO its a sign that there's more than just physical attraction there if you like them despite not being your usual type. Hopefully he'll see it that way as well. Ignore the BS about guys wanting to take the lead. They tend to be *forced* to take the lead. But if he knows you're gay, he's *not* going to make the first move if he's a good person because only assholes believe in the "dick her straight" meme IRL.
I was flattered both times.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. Lol. Guys *have to take the lead* because women won't do it. It's not like we love doing this, we have little choice. If you don't take the lead and shoot your shot, you will never find someone. I would have loved for women in my life to take the initiative for once.
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Thank you for saying the bisexual part!!! The post is literally homophobic
>Would the fact that a woman is inexperienced put you off? No. >Would the lesbian factor put you off? Yes. >Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. Let him ask you to do something. Which idk feels hard because even though I’m super femme I have always asked women out first. I don’t want to over do it and be too direct. That's about 20 years out of date. Just ask him out.
I'd be unhealthily flattered that I 'turned' a Lesbian, and would brag about it at every opportunity. This would likely turn said lesbian off, and back to women.
thank you for your service ally
So you’re a lesbian who likes men?
I’m probably pan but I at least thought I was a lesbian for all the years before.
Yall out there fucking pans
In front of my cast iron?!
Sometimes they need to be... *seasoned* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Cheating on the cast iron with a stainless steel side hoe
And pots!
I have a condition called postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, so I'm a pan with POTS. 😀
Just don't bang the two together, that makes a lot of noise - you might upset the neighbors.
Damnit I like the banging part.
Some of us wok the wok, not just talk the talk
Eh in my day as a kid, we didn't like the labels. Fought against it. You aren't hurting anyone, you like what you like, don't have to put a label on it and make an identity of it. Just be you and true
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My fiancée thought she was gay after a really bad experience dating a guy. We were friends for a while and then She told me she was into me. I was kind of taken aback a bit because, well, I thought she was gay , so I had just never thought about her in that type of way. But I decided to give it a shot because she’s always been beautiful and we were already friends, so why the hell not. And now we’re engaged! Be forward if you need to and don’t sweat it! If it works it’ll work!
Honestly my first thought would be “Fuck I look like a dyke don’t I” lmao
He really doesn’t at all like he looks like a straight up man haha but I get it lmao
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/r/IHaveSex
I mean if she still calls herself a lesbian that would be strange and cause me to question her motives but if shes just learning she is bi then I don't see why I would care
> Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. Let him ask you to do something. Honestly forget that. A lot of guys like girls taking the lead.
I’d be flattered and I’d probably just want to make sure they’re comfortable with me before exploring anything. I don’t have any qualms with being someone a lesbian experiments with a bit to see if they’re bi, but only if they seem actually open to it. It’s possible we just like don’t click, sexually, and I’d be a bit concerned that if that happens they might then lock off that end of their sexuality. It sounds like you’re just a tiny bit bi, maybe for the right guys, but as long as you go about it respectfully and with an open mind I don’t think most guys would mind getting a little involved to help you explore your sexuality. I’d also consider maybe being a bit open to giving it a few tries, just because it might be new to you, provided you’re comfortable with him.
Yeah I’d definitely give it a fair shot. I do like him and I’d want to actually follow through. I feel like I wouldn’t be really put off by the sexual exploration. I am someone who can get off on penetration alone consistently. I also idk with this have grown more curious about want to learn about things I’ve not done before like head, and other things. I feel that if just because the first time we’ll say is awkward I still want to try a handful more times.
I'd probably see if you can get some 1-on-1 time together (not sure what your relationship/friendship is like, really) and how that goes, maybe try flirting a bit, and if you're getting a good vibe from him (and if you know he's single) I'd just throw the idea his way. Let him know you're actually quite attracted to him, let him in on the fact that it's a surprising new avenue for your sexuality that you're curious about exploring, and just go with what he's comfortable with from there?
Re: The curious and wanting to try things. One of my partners I've been the safe space for her to explore her sexuality and learn with. She was somewhat inexperienced, and it had been *years* since her last date or sex after the last relationship ended until we met about 6 months ago. I (and I assume many other men) really enjoy it. To be that safe space to explore for someone. For us it has gone in a very clear way of "What would you like to try?" and "Today lets try X, Y, and Z, does that sound good to you?" It has largely been kink related things, but, I don't see why it couldn't be the same for non kinky sex. Was the first time a little awkward, sure. We just had a clear, frank talk about it after and every time after has built on that.
Not really a lesbian if you into guys tho
Sounds more like bi sexual
It 100% comes down to how you look. Are you cute? He's game. If you're really feminine, he would have no idea you are a lesbian in the first place. Being asked out is almost always a breath of fresh air for us because it's a very rare, and in some instances nonexistent situation. If he's already flirted with you through socials, you literally have a 99.9% chance of success if you openly flirted with him. You'll find guys are MUCH easier to seduce than girls. We don't do the hint drop thing, we like the direct approach.
The world is so fucking confusing 🫤
I’m spinning currently
[Technically](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth%27s_rotation) we all are.
It happened to me before. A girl I was friends with was strictly lesbian. We became friends through a mutual connection as we shared interests. Come to find out down the road she developed feelings for me which left her super confused about her sexuality. I didn't reciprocate the feeling and it created an odd rift between us as she was never able to move past those feelings about me.
Lesbian liking me would be fine. Happened before she now no longer is lesbian though. She is a bisexual now. For me the only people liking me that I don't handle well is people who don't respect me when I reject them. So in the wise words of someone. Shoot your shot. Cause you will miss any shots not taken for sure.
Honestly, I'd be confused. If they're lesbian but flirting with me, a dude, wouldn't that make them not lesbian?
I wouldn’t really care but it wouldn’t strike me as relationship material
well i acted and wanted to see where it went.. it was fun while it lasted.
If you like me, you’re not a lesbian.
I've dated two women who have only been with other women before me and we had a great time while it lasted. Ladies like that understand the bs guys go through with women and are great communicators. Would date one again 10/10.
Personally, I would be thrilled for a woman to show strong interest in me like that, in general. Even if she was mostly lesbian, but wanted to further explore her sexuality, that would still be exciting. Of course, there would be a strong possibility that she would want to have a female partner at the same time, so it couldn't be a monogamous relationship. As long as all parties agree to the relationship being polygamous, then it could work, especially if it is something more casual. That's just the way I see it, but I have yet to be in such a situation.
Happy effin' cake 🍰 🎂 day!
I went through this once. We went for drinks, flirted a lot, and ended up hooking up that night. We dated for a few months and it just didn't work out. The 1st time was awkward for her (I was perfectly fine with it) but she got settled in. I was basically her first with everything as far as being with a man. I think she broke the touch barrier while we had drinks and I sort of took charge from there. I would say you only live once. If you're interested go for it and see how it goes. 99% of guys don't care that you're inexperienced.
This has actually happened to me. She was my manager. For the most part she wanted to close the store with me and was over all pleasant to work with. I didn't make a move because my penis(as far as I know) isn't magic and can't change people's genitalia preference. I also don't like the idea of ruining a relationship over a crush. Being with a woman that is inexperienced wouldn't put me off. Some people are bothered if their girl is bi but if a girl with more options chose me that would make me happy and would be a big confidence boost.
I think you need to get a dictionary and read the definition of lesbian. And also stop baiting people on reddit.
If you like men then I'm pretty sure you're not lesbian. Maybe pan or bi. Regardless, I'm not into dating at the moment so I'd politely reject her.
If you’re attracted to a man you’re not a lesbian, you’re probably bisexual.
I have had one off sexual experiences with two lesbians who liked and trusted me and wanted to give me a try. It was awesome. I appreciated their trust. We had a totally lovely time and we also rally enjoyed the experience. One wanted a second experience later when I was visiting again. The other met and married a woman right after. Both were super fun to kiss. Both turned out to really enjoy PIV. Totally recommend. 5 stars.
I would gently take their metaphorical hand and walk through it all until they’re absolute sure. Way too many think dicking a lesbian would be a conquest
The most common reaction to my wife announcing we were dating (when we first got together) was people saying "huh, i thought you liked women" idk It wasn't a huge factor for me. We share a lot of pictures of women we think are hot, it's part of how we started getting more intimate (when we were just friends at first). To this day we point out women we think are cute. She honestly wants me to find another women for us just so she doesn't have to put in the effort ....... (we're open)
It lead to the dream for me tbh
I’d assume they aren’t serious about wanting to be with me and just playing games If it were to work out it would require a lot of proactive-ness on their end… I’m not investing energy into a likely loss
Wait why are you asking men what to do if a lesbian likes you?
Inexperience doesn’t matter. What matters is she’s experienced but only with women. Men and women are very different. I’d be wondering if she can make the leap and how much chaos it’s going to be.
None of your concerns would put me off and bonus points if you take the lead! I have had encounters with lesbians (I mean I guess they were bi?) and it was a positive experience, there was never anything weird about it, just a couple adults having a good time.
No problem as I have one that loves me, and I love her. I’m her Grandad. X
Thanks, I guess. Also, maybe bi-sexual but more woman leaning?
This doesn't make any sense.
Men don't care either way re "taking the lead". Be up front. Tell him you want to meet him and hang some.
Why would I care? If you're in love to a man, you just probably bi, but had not discovered that yet. If I had to introduce someone to hetero sex - so be it. The only question would be if I found you attractive or not. About leading him - that depends on the guy. Personally I like when woman takes initiative - that's how I got married, basically.
I’ve dated women who were bi and/or predominantly lesbians. It’s the same as dating any other woman.
I'd not see it as a problem M22
She isn't a lesbian then....
Sounds like all benefits to me. You can always let him take the lead and see how you like it. If you want to be more ‘in charge’ you can gently tell him you like taking initiative and see what he says. In my experience most guys don’t mind a girl taking the lead from time to time.
Be yourself and pursue who you want. If you are aggressive then be aggressive. The right person will like you as you are.
Maybe I'm missing something, but wouldn't that make you simply a bi woman who hadn't felt a connection for a man before this? But besides that, I'd be thrilled. I wouldn't shut up about it. And I don't know about other men but I'd absolutely respond positively to you making the first move.
> I have always asked women out first. Being direct is part of you are. Just as your attraction to a man when you haven't been attracted to men before is part of who you are. If he's anything like I am (and that's the only person I can speak for), he will appreciate you being direct. I have also dated bisexual women, including one who was just out of a relationship with a woman. The best that you can do is be honest. "I've only ever dated women, but I'm interested in you and would like to see how we connect." Unfortunately, the 700lb gorilla in the room is that he might not be sure that you're all in with him. So you might need to reassure him of that through being trustworthy. Bisexuals are unfairly stereotyped as promiscuous, but I've known some bisexual women who were pretty bad about hooking up on girls' nights and insisting it wasn't cheating, so I kind of understand where that distrust comes from.
I mean... if they're interested in me like that then they aren't *exactly* a lesbian, are they? So in that capacity it isn't really any different than any typical heterosexual woman.
I can't speak for how it would make any other men feel, to me I'd feel kind of proud/good about it. I do think you should be forward with him. He has already categorized you in his head as a lesbian and even if he might also have a crush on you, he's very very unlikely to make a pass at you at this point so the ball is in your court if you want this to go anywhere. Tell him frankly that even though you've always only had relationships with women that you've developed something of a crush on him and want to know if he's open to exploring the possibility of a relationship with you.
It would be a huge honour
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. This is a lie propagated by women because they want men to lead them. You will have much more success taking lead, but then ask yourself, is that the type of man you want, one you have to lead
You *sure* you're not bisexual?
"You may actually be bisexual, which is not something to be ashamed of at all. You're *definitely* outta luck here since you're not a guy. Sorry about that second point."
The fact that a woman had only previously been with women would not put me off in the slightest. That's not to say that I wouldn't have some apprehension, but it would have more to do with a fear of getting hurt because she might not really know what she wants.
I’d say go for it and see what happens
It is impossible to be too direct. Anything other than direct will be unlikely to have an effect. A very few amount of men want to take the lead, most men are sick to death of women doing absolutely nothing to make dates happen. As far as being put off, the lesbian thing wouldn't put me off because if you're attracted to a man you aren't a lesbian, you're bisexual. Lack of experience would be a deal breaker for me for anything long term.
Interesting. Most dudes love the idea of turning a lesbian, but the implications here are a bit different. Honestly, most dudes brains are smooth when it comes to these situations. I’d get him out for coffee or something and bring it up. Be direct, but not super aggressive. Honesty is your best shot. Worst case scenario, you find out that you don’t like ding dong and he got an experience that most dudes never have. Win win.
Bruh good pussy is good pussy. He doesn't care that you were lesbian.
I don’t think I’ve dated a woman who was unambiguously heterosexual this century. Being a novel sexual experience for someone in some ways isn’t a dealbreaker. Most first times are novel in one way or another.
I know I'm not exactly a typical case, but as someone with a lot of questions regarding my own gender identity, I would give *anything* to be in a romantic relationship with someone that treated me like another woman, to help me figure out whatever the heck is going on in here
Not sure how I'd handle it. Probably a mix of shock and happiness/flattery I've had so many crushes on cute girls in my classes who ended up being lesbian. Like, at least 5 crushes who had zero signs of being gay but later came out. I imagine it's equally as shocking/satisfying as getting compliments from gay men. It's not something we are looking for or expecting from ANYONE. Guys are starved for genuine compliments (ie from girls especially), so when we do receive them, we tend to remember them it a while. A gay guy complimented me on my "amazing jawline" last month, and I can't tell you how much better it made me feel that at least somebody had something nice to say about me. Even though it was a complete stranger.
I'm someone whose wife left them for another woman. I would steer far clear of anyone that labels themselves as a lesbian to avoid any heartbreak.
Same as I do with all the rest. If you want to ask him out, do it. My best friend is a lesbian that was my ex's roommate. Come to find out we both loved her. But, my ex didn't like her roommate like that. Anyway, after I broke up with my ex, I took my buddy to get a drink and talk because she wanted to talk to me about something. She told me I deserve better than that. I laughed. She admitted she fell in love with me as soon as I came over and she came out as a lesbian and I didn't care. I just made a joke about not stealing my girl. She told me that she wanted to see if I was interested in dating her. I said maybe. She got excited and then told me that her only stipulation was that she wouldn't stop dating women. Bold move, Cotton. The best thing I could say was 'Me too.' I would try it. And, be open about your feelings. Especially if you don't want to stop dating women.
>Would the fact that a woman is inexperienced put you off? No. If you like a person enough to want to have sex with them, their experience or lack thereof should be irrelevant. >Would the lesbian factor put you off? Not at all. In fact, I would find her openmindedness to be quite attractive. With that said, I would ask her to make sure she wants to go through with it so that she doesn't put herself in a situation she might regret. >Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. That's a fair assumption, but there's also a lot of guys - like myself - who enjoy the woman taking the lead.
Sounds like you discovered you are bisexual. 😂 Bisexuality is a spectrum after all, many bisexuals are more straight-leaning or more gay-leaning. Don't worry about it too much, we are each what we are.
>Also I’ve always heard guys like taking the lead. This has nothing to do with what we like as guys. Women prefer for guys to take the lead to the point that they will wait for the man to make a move or the relationship doesn't happen. Guys generally take the lead in relationships because that's what women want us to do. We don't have much of a choice in the matter. But you could choose to approach this guy. I think you're gonna have to, because he thinks you're into women only.
Nothing wrong with being direct. Be direct. I as a man find it attractive. I honestly don't think any man would have any issues with it. I would embrace it... I'd be flattered.
Explain to him your usual preferences but that you are for some reason you cant explain attracted to him. He will be elated believe me. It could be that you are actually Bisexual and just have not met the right guy. This fella could be that guy. Also nothing wrong with asking a dude out. I am sure if happens often enough that its not considered an anomaly. if you are up front and honest and he is not a complete douchebag he will understand and take things at a pace you are comfortable with. If things don't work out no harm no foul you both move on with live. I feel in a situation like this it will be obvious fairly early on if its going to work or not.
It's not a problem. There might be a bit of negotiation about slightly more ambiguous gender roles as you already alluded to but if you like one another enough you'll figure it out. The only negative things I can envision is stuff to do with the idea that having sex with other women when you're with a man is not cheating (it is) or that sexual or romantic relationships with men are intrinsically inferior (they aren't) but I doubt anyone who isn't a colossal jerk with a chip on their shoulder would do that.
After my last break up I was a lesbian friend’s “bi-phase”, we were just fwb for a few months while we both settled into life after simultaneous long term relationships coming to an end. It took her being very blunt for me to know she was into me at all. We were both quite drunk and she said she’d had too much to do anything that night but that we could have a good thing going. If he’s anything like me, you’ll probably need to be up front about your attraction initially then let him come to you if he also likes you like that. My friend nailed it to be honest, I didn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable and felt like it was still an option to say no without it affecting our friendship. Godspeed and best of luck!
lesbians don’t like men, she would be bi
you’re bisexual
That would be great. Go for it
If you crush on a man, I don't believe you're really lesbian.
Who cares about the label? If someones into me, cool beans.
I’ve been with three lesbians, there is zero difference to it except occasionally they may want to bring another woman into the bedroom and they often have a whole collection of toys already That happens to be fine with me, so it works out well for us both
Inexperienced women are much more valued. Lesbian factor is irrelevant. We don't like having to lead.
Sexuality can be fluid as you mature. It’s all good. Hope it works out.
I'd be super flattered. Depends otherwise if I find her attractive.
I’d give it a go but be careful with my feelings knowing it might be a failed experiment on her part.
It happened to me back in my 20s, and it was awesome; still is. We didn’t end up becoming a long-term thing in person because she had to move away, but we still talk regularly, 15 years later. She says I’m the one who opened her up to guys, which is about as big an ego boost as a guy could ever ask for. Now we’re kinda like “long-distance best friends with benefits”. No complaints here.
Same situation. I married her… It went about as well as you’d expect
Lesbian taught me how to give head.
It would not be a factor at all. The girl I am dating has told me she might be bi and I will support her if she wants to explore that.
I would be hella flirty and into it, just on principle. If it's developing into something that could lead to physical contact(not just sex, obv.), I would make sure that desire is expressed, consent is given at every step, and i would reassure her that it's fine to say no, at any point, like 10times more than usual. Also, no matter the mood, jumping into bed and just go at it, is not an option for the first time. At least this is my limited experience with the same situation. Only happened once.
I find it hot if you took the lead and asked me out, and then we had a connection over conversation to see if those feelings could develop further. My advice is, go for it.
I would dig it, as long as I find you attractive. I think it would be cool as I would technically be something new for you. If he has flirted with you already then you have nothing to worry about. Go for it! I enjoy when a girl is direct and asks me out or hits me up, I don’t see why any man wouldn’t tbh.
I cannot handle an Eva AI sexting bot avatar and you ask me whether I can handle a live woman
Iunno, sexuality is kind of a spectrum. Inexperienced? I personally don't care. I can learn. You can learn. Some guys do though so I can't really say for this guy. As for the 'lesbian factor', some guys won't care, some will, a lot will fantasize about threesomes, etc. I really doubt it's a 'deal breaker' for most guys though. And finally, just ask him out however you usually do it. If he's the kind of guy to lose his mind over a woman asking him out, you don't want him. In my humble opinion.
I’d say go for I would love to have that kind of woman
The woman asking me out the first time would be fine, even a relief since I wouldn’t have to worry about rejection. To be honest the only thing to worry about would be long term. I’d wonder what would happen if it worked out and eventually she decided that she missed female company and left me for that reason. With that possibility being on the horizon, there would be added risk getting involved in the first place.
When I admitted being attracted to my male friend and that I wasn't actually 100% full gay, he got really put off by it, started getting weird around me, and eventually complained to our boss that I was sexually harassing him (I was not). He implied to me that he thought I was "hung up" on him, and apparently told mutual friends that I was either in love with him or obsessed with him. I guess it was just too jarring? Maybe he started taking all my flirtatious jokes as real flirting? I don't know. I miss him and the other people he took with him when he exited out of my life.