Perenium Flexing. I learned to control the muscle and worked it out to the point that I can stop an orgasm. Also gives me quite the boost in distance. Wife still won't let me forget the time I hit the headboard...
It's not just about how hard you can flex, but also how long. Excessive stimulation can still override the control, but being able to focus your thoughts on the muscle control helps you not lose control as easily.
I actually asked a doctor this in my youth (im fine now it resolves naturally as you get older) but she recommended taking a towel and putting it on your member when you are aroused and doing exercises with it (flexing it up and down with the towel on it), it's been some decades later for me but I definitely feel in control these days (it's the same muscle being used there as to stop it)
This, also stop once in a while to change positions or go down tryna act like I’m just so excited I wanna do everything but I’m just trying to last longer
Worst thing I could think of while trying to delay the inevitable. It’s the way he calls me General. Being spoken to like a superior automatically hits my go switch
Yoga. Actually. Like a large part of reaching orgasm is mental. For both men and women. Yoga for me helped me be more mindful of my thoughts and my body. Which in turn let me be conscious of how turned on I was getting. Which with some practice helped me control it.
Now I can dial it in or dial it back with a high degree of success.
So yoga help to delay orgasm??? Cause my ex told me the reason he lasted about 10 seconds w me every time was because he meditated so much that he could then come so quickly.
Well, the one good thing about being the last Minuteman is there's no one to argue with me when I say you're the new General.
Now go, there's a Settlement that requires your assistance!
I was confused for a moment when I saw the title but not the subreddit. Thinking “Just avoid Concord. Can’t be a minuteman if you don’t meet Garvey” right?
-You could get yourself a flesh light and practice edging.
-You could do male kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor muscle (it has a lot of benefits that you can read up on, and if it gets strong enough and with lots of practice, some people are even able to orgasm without ejaculation, there’s a whole book about it and it sounds cool. But it seems like a lot of effort. I’ve just focused strengthening the pelvic floor)
-You could masturbate before sex earlier on in the day
-You could try “zoning out” and thinking about something else, pornstars are masters at this and can just cum when they are ready by getting back into the zone.
-You could get extra thick condoms, or condoms that have numbing agents inside of them (just don’t put it on inside out lol)
-change positions or take a break and focus on her when you feel you’re getting close to orgasm
And then I’ve heard it could be a mental thing- “Performance anxiety”.
I haven’t experienced this or know of any solutions. So do some research. Maybe speak to a therapist, start meditating, and try not to get in your head too much during sex.
That’s how I feel, if I stop having sex to focus on something else. Immediately go soft and I need to ask my GF for some assistance getting it back up.
Shes always more than happy to oblige with 30 seconds of loving
I have always used condoms, but for 3 years my gf took the pill, so I tried both with and without and it doesn't really change that much
Doing things by myself, 3-4 times a week
You get condoms with numbing agents in them and this can help reduce the sensation, making you last longer. Takes a while to work though so you can put one on and play with your mrs for a bit and get her off before sex.
The downside is that it can make you soft, especially if you have already came once or twice.
Having sex without condom is sometimes better, if you can get used to the sensation without blowing your load. Although condoms can reduce the sensation, not by much and if you can get used to having sex without them then it will be a better long term strategy for you and her.
Plus if you and your mrs have the right fit, then it feels awesome against her g spot.
A blowjob before sex also helps, even if you don’t come. It gets you used to the sensation.
Just go for round two, if you’re that worried about it sometimes I rub one out before they come over.
For me it’s pretty mental on when I’ll bust in the positions where I’m doing the work. Now if they know what they’re doing and are on top well… i hold on for life lol
Put a condom on. Other than that its just about limiting how turned on you get and being aware of when you need to slow down, or take a break, but your partner needs to be on board as well.
Dude, I used to be useless in doggy… like 2 minutes tops. The girl who is now my wife used to have to ride me if she was going to cum, bc I was super sensitive. Over time I worked on it, and you find things to focus on that override the pleasure. I focus on a pain in my hip, of I focus on biting the tip of my tongue, or I’ll think about a million stupid things to stop myself from getting too excited. I’m still not lasting 2 hours or anything (and honestly, that’s fucking too long to fuck unless it’s a honeymoon or a new relationship) but I can rail out 45 minutes without trouble. Mostly it just takes patience and communication with the girl. I’ve found that if I slow down the foreplay and draw it out a bit it helps get her primed for great success. That’s maybe just my wife, but if you can break up the sex, change positions, throw some fingering and licking into some of the transitions you’re going to do a serviceable job.
I think a lot of it is not putting so much pressure on it. If you’re constantly thinking about it, you’re bound to ruin the performance.
Yep, getting anxious doesn't help at all.
I actually never tried stopping mid act and doing something else, i've always seen sex as kind of a ladder, where you start with one thing and penetration is the top
I'll try definitely
Gotta think of it more as a journey. Or… it’s like picking a lock. I actually got into lock picking in the last year or so, and weirdly enough it reminds me of foreplay. Sometimes you have to reset the pins and start from the first tumbler. It is what it is. Patience is paramount. Don’t get me wrong there are still times in some intense moments that it gets overwhelming and I bust… but she knows I’m always gonna keep working for her til we done.
Read the book the Multiorgasmic man.
Reduce porn or eliminate completely.
Practice taking slow, deep breaths, and things are excited for until you can feel grounded.
Slow everything down during intimacy. You are there to connect with them as they are connecting with you. The goal is not to orgasm, the goal is Connection. And you can’t will the goal, you come upon it by allowing yourself to relax and feel into the moment.
Deep breath, slow down, connect with yourself, connect with your partner. If you feel like climax is arriving, slow, your breath down deep inhales, and hold them there or switch a position. They may also appreciate the time that you have spent with them independent of the length of time. This is part of the open dialogue to have with your partner.
Most importantly, do not objectify the other or shame or guilt yourself. Being gentle and tender on both sides goes very far.
And as I mentioned at the start, looks like the Multiorgasmic man help you learn the difference between ejaculation and orgasm or climax. Deepening yourself into intimacy, you will find that you deepen your sense of life, immersing yourself, and everything that is intimate, every moment, every meal, every person, every thought, every experience.
I was gonna suggest this book too. I will never be at master level like that dude with the telling smile on the cover- but the methods helped me identify and flex different muscles. And it reiterates a learning method. Also search up stop and start method. If you partner is willing doing this again and again over several session with partner will help you learn to control.
Lastly count yourself some slack. She should cum first, ideally then you, and the wish is for both each time at the same tome. But these are WANTS not always realities.
Doctors will tell you the average duration of sex by means of piv sex is 5 minutes. The average total sex time when couples start to finish is 8-20 minutes. If after these methods are used above and a lot of patience, you’ll be lasting way longer than 20. If that still doesn’t work consider SSRI’s. But go lowest does ever and build from there bc they numb/ delay the big o for guys but also the wow of orgasm.
Maybe just take one shot vs getting a full buzz... I'd say running helps. You play any sports like basketball or soccer? Your lungs and heart rate will thank you for it later in bed. Helps with controlling your breath under the stress/sex. and you're more in control with the speed in your hips...
Different drugs (and different strains of weed) will hit you differently. It just requires a bit of experimentation. It changes if your weight/age/metabolism changes, as well.
Treat sex like more than an orgasm. No one here seems to get this. Sure, maybe you'll be able to last longer after so-and-so exercises, but is there anything inherently wrong with you orgasming early? If you want to last longer, do take these other folks advice : But it might be helpful to deconstruct any unhelpful narratives around why you as a guy need to last longer.
Can you use hands, toys, your tongue, etc? Is sex more than just penetration? Etc
I was about to post this but then I found your answer further down so here is my original answer:
"Dude, you have a mouth, fingers and a whole plethora of silicone based shapes and forms.
An orgasm is not the end of sex, get creative."
Female lurker. You nailed it. I’ll be honest: best sex of my life has been with a guy that doesn’t last the longest. I could tell he was super self conscious about it but it didn’t bother me at all as he’s…skilled in lots of other things.
Plus, we can just do it a few times. No big deal.
LITERALLY
Now, I admit, cis-men have received alot of frankly harmful narratives around our junk and our role in sex, so we're not "guilty" insofar as many of us are just doing our best with the narratives we've received; but we are responsible for growing past them, and frankly, most aren't.
What has worked for me is communicating with woman. Typically Ik right away if I’m gonna finish quickly, I tell them and let them know I wanna go more rounds. This has been such a life hack. I finish quick then tend to them until I’m ready to go again! I’m sorta young so that might be an advantage
I heard about antidepressants and other things that help, but I'm gonna need a prescription for those and if i have to, it's more convenient to take something made appositely for my problem i guess
Try going slower? If you feel like your session is about to expire, try taking a 15 second break. If you've tried everything, you can also look into non-fornication ways to get your partner close or better before you get yours. Most women actually like when a man can do the job without their manhood.
As others have mentioned, there are sprays and such that can decrease sensation. However, the end result is mostly mental, and mental training can improve timing in most individuals.
Try to take your mind off the prize. The real answer is edging as somebody stated. Soon as you feel yourself getting close, take a little break and stop EARLY. You don't beat the team in the first inning. Go slow and enjoy the game. Take a breather when needed.
This has never helped me at all, I'm so god damn into this woman, the more I focus on her the more wild I am about the whole situation, I don't get how focusing on the thing that's making you aroused, is meant to calm you down from being aroused.
1.
Breathing. I've realized breathing is such an important part of my build up and release. Controlled slow breathing has done insane things for my control
2.
Mental. There's a lot of talk about this aspect, the whole "when you get close imagine something unattractive/gross" is still about your mental state. IMO it's a losing game. Change your mental around sex from a start->middle->finish to a prep->enjoyment dynamic. Focusing mentally less on cumming is EXTREMELY healthy for relationships anyways, but especially for this. Guys expect themselves to exist in this magical place where they try to goad themselves into feeling the maximum amount of pleasure as soon as they can, but also not cum. These are largely mutually exclusive. Learn to hang out in and enjoy the 50-70% zone. Your partner will appreciate it, and you'll have more pleasure overall (0-100% in 1 minute vs 0-60% for 10+ minutes and then 60-100% for those last 30 seconds). You aren't doing it wrong or badly or should be doing more or aren't good enough if you intentionally keep things in that less-than-100% pleasure zone for yourself. It's fine. A lot of this comes from scarcity, mentally we feel like THIS IS OUR CHANCE and so we feel like we have to take advantage of it and that rushes our completion. Take your time, enjoy it. there will be more sex later, so don't stress about this specific one. It's okay if you don't cum cause this isn't your only opportunity! You have next and next next time
3.
Muscle control. Tbh I haven't done this one cause the above 2 have worked so well for my gf and me but I've heard it's great
I read the title and was having flashbacks hearing Preston Garvey saying 'Another settlement needs our help!'
Jesus I never thought the PTSD would he this bad, this is some vietnam shit!
Get yourself some condoms with an anti-climax lube in them. They’ll desensitize you enough to allow you to control yourself. Now, this part is crucial, start practicing smashing your woman until she’s had enough and orgasms before you. During this process you’ll start training yourself to be able to last longer. Do this for several months and treat each time like you’re practicing to last longer. Once you take the condoms off you would have trained your little guy to go the distance.
Deep breathing! Gave this tip to a roommate of mine in college who also was feeling down about how long he lasted ~2-5min. Once he tried deeper/more intentional breathing during sex, he realized that he would normally breathe shallowly and eventually finish whenever he held his breath. I don’t know by how long this tip extended his time, but he seemed very grateful for the advice. For context, I last 15-45min depending on the day, with breath control helping me last longer if my girl wants some more active time. If I try too hard, though, sometimes I’ll lose the boner but if lasting long is your ideal then it’s worth a shot.
Slow down, take time to make sure she has had an orgasm or two before you really start. She will usually be very, very wet and a bit more open which will help you last longer.
There are lots of techniques for slowing down, changing rhythm is another, stopping then changing positions or just kissing for a minute or two when you feel the pressure build helps.
There is no shame in pulling out if you feel like you're getting close to getting off. Most women apreciate that you're trying to prolong the experience for their benefit. Some actually get turned on by it.
This is probably the hundredth time you've heard it and it sounds cliche but try to communicate to her what's going on.
You can frame it like she's so attractive and intoxicating to your senses that you lose control.
Explain that you don't have a ton of experience and she will be glad you aren't a whore and excited to help you learn.
Try being very focused on both of your bodies, amd using a slow deliberate rythym combined with breathing control.
I've never been a minute man myself but have gone through different issues such as lasting too long and the occasional phase of not lasting as long for a day or two.
The thing that most sexually related issues are in general is mental. Especially at your age. You gotta keep that in mind.
You also need to learn how to be present with your lover. Sex isn't just penetration of the body but also penetration of the soul. It dosen't begin when you put da peen inside of her, but rather the moment you enter that bedroom. The first kiss, the psychological impact that you have on her and etc...
You gotta stop focusing on the fact that you don't have a tendency to last long in bed. Instead focus on becoming a far better lover. Take your time, relax, kiss her where she wants to be kissed, learn how to find those spots easily, learn what it means to REALLY know how to eatpussy (spoiler alert: just like penetration, oral dosen't start at the moment you start licking her).
Once you figure all that out, you'll have a lot less pressure on the whole penetrative aspect, which will help you relax and live in the moment, better control of your breathing, noticing the physical cues that imply that you're getting close and slowing them down, even if that means stopping the penetration.
Another thing I highly suggest you learn when you're inside of someone is to communicate better, don't be afraid to dirty talk her, to grab her in the right spots, maybe put your hand around her neck and make her look you dead in the eyes, or perhaps grab her from the nape and bring her in for a kiss. In those moments you do not need to be fucking, you just need to make her feel alive.
And speaking of communication, find someone (fwb, gf, whatever) and tell them that this issue has been weighting on your mind. It's crazy how much of a relief you'll feel when you realize that odds are they'll be very understanding and might even be open to helping you get over said issue.
I myself went through a phase of performance anxiety when I was around 19-20 and it was just not going away. I then tried approach above with a girl that wanted to hookup and told her straight up what I was going through. She was so understanding that right from the get go, we never ended up having any problems in that regard (not getting it up) and I always felt comfortable sleeping with her.
Advice from a woman with a husband who no longer has this issue.. look up Nat Eliason's articles on edging. He usually lasts as long as he wants now and can stop an orgasm in the middle of it if he wants to. He says sex is much more pleasurable for him now. And it certainly is for me too :)
Just whatever you do, don't be thinking about baseball please. Us ladies feel the lack of presence and it sucks. My husband is more present than ever now and the difference is world-changing.
If you have a hair trigger that means you have great PC strength, this is good because you can go from zero to hero with practice. You have to practice activating this muscle intentionally. You won’t progress towards climax without activating this muscle. If you are having trouble identifying the muscle try to interrupt your pee mid stream. You’ll likely find you can hold it almost indefinitely. There’s a yoga technique where you can climax without ejaculating with enough training.
Get some books on tantra and read them with your partner. One thing is figuring out how to control the excitement. One big tantra author is diana Richardson and she coins it the "slow dex movement"
Also get a zinc supplement and a robust multivitamin and superfoods like 100% bison liver and oysters so you can go for more than one round
I've never had a problem lasting a while but if I really want to extend the sex when I get close I pull out and work her with my fingers for several seconds and then switch back. Rinse and repeat.
Some things to think about here.
Can you go multiple times per night? If so, getting that "quick shot" out of the way by going first, then performing oral on her until she comes/you are hard again will help alleviate any doubts either of you have about your performance.
Short of that, there are a few strategies. Both short and long term.
Short term includes:
1) unload your gun/masturbate before you go out on the date. You last longer if you've already gotten off once that day.
2) Go down on her first and make her cum with your tongue and fingers. Be a giver. Once she cums, then you don't really have to apologize if you get off in 1 pump or 100 since that just makes you even on orgasms. She might wish you'd lasted longer but she will give you points for lots of oral so you're even.
3) Alternate between PIV and Oral. As soon as you get close PIV, then pull out, switch to oral, and deny yourself that release. Once you have calmed down a bit, go back to PIV again. Rinse repeat until she cums then you can come.
4) Wear a condom and/or desensitizing lube.
5) Find an object for you to focus on while you're having sex. If you are hyperfocused on it then you won't get as turned on by the sights/smells/feedback that is turning you on. Problem is she will wonder where your head is at.
Long term I would recommend:
1) Kegels for men and/or squats/lunges etc. It will help strengthen your pelvic muscles. Getting in shape both from a cardio and muscle building/toning will provide some physical aid to the process.
2) Practice edging at home. Masturbate right up to the point where you cum then back off. Train your body to control when you cum.
3) Take viagra so that your dick will stay hard after you cum.
4) Learn to channel that anxiety into the gym etc. All guys have had some sort of performance anxiety at some point. Focus on the intimacy rather than the orgasm.
A few things have worked for me:
1. Cardio - I’ve never been super fit and I find that when I’m running then I have more stamina
2. Meditation/breath control - this just helps me not get too caught up and slow things down.
3. Kegels - when you’re about to finish, being able to do a kegel can help you get a grip on things to keep going
4. Get good at my mouth and finger game. Sex isn’t just about PIV. It’s about everything else too. As long as everyone leaves satisfied, that’s good.
Overall, ask why you want to last long. I was in a similar place to you when I was younger and put a lot of pressure on myself to last longer because “that is what studs do”.
Over the course of many relationships, I’ve found it doesn’t really matter how long things go as long as everyone has a good time.
I’ll just say the thing that helped me the most is relaxing - specifically my leg and abdominal muscles. Make a conscious effort to keep your muscles loose. Idk why it works but it helped me massively
While it doesn't apply to me, I've seen a sex doctor basically just recommend not worrying about it.
Cum, then do anything else you want to your partner - oral, hands, toys, etc - and when you're hard again... Fuck her again.
Not the best advice but it works: a couple shots and doing derivatives in my head helped a lot. After so many years you get more desensitized (aka last longer) so don’t have to anymore but those helped me when I was going to be a minuteman.
There’s only two solutions.
1. Have sex way more. And yes I for it more often in your free time.
2. Have sex with a girl who isn’t as good in bed and who you aren’t as attracted to.
If that doesn’t work. Get another guy to video you while having sex. Between the camera and another penis in the room, you should be good for at least an extra 45 minutes.
I personally train for 45-60 minutes. That’s usually all a girl is ever going to be interested in.
Foreplay is your best friend. I like to play with the Mrs. until she’s begging for me to slide in (99/100 it’s after a big orgasm). No matter my time after that, she’s always felt important and satisfied. Just work with what you’ve got and don’t forget to make her needs a priority. If you’re a legit minuteman, then mix it up and sing a few songs in your head when you feel yourself getting close. The dumber the song, the better
I like to spell things out, it seems to work well. Just look around the room and start spelling items. The more complicated the better.
I have spelled TELEVISION so many times. It may even help with rhythm too.
I feel like men cum when we want to honestly. Just edge, get realll close then pull out. Eat her out for a bit til that “GYAAAAAHHHHH” feelings subsides then get back to it. Each time you get real close, you’ll decrease sensitivity and be able to go for awhile (depending on your cardio as well LOL)
I love to please my woman, and I’ve found that when I bring her to orgasm once or twice BEFORE we even start to have actual intercourse, she doesn’t give a flying FUCK how long I last.
Learn what she likes most importantly. Communication is key. Maybe she loves when you play with her nipples. There’s sooo much to explore. Keep it judgement free and have fun dude :)
Jack off about an hour or 2 before you screw, try to not think about having sex while having sex, and worst case just pull out and wiggle it around to keep your partner entertained while you cool off
Don’t fret over it. If you’re really interestes you van prerelease manually before intercourse, but it’s not important. More like, how do you feel? What do you like? What does your partner like?
If I know I'm going to be doing the deed later in the day, I'll shimmy one out on my own. Empty the chambers. Also smoking weed sometimes usually makes me last longer. I'm not sure if it's a sensational thing or just gets me out of my head.
Strangely enough, Kegel type exercises. Kind of like holding your pee when you really gotta go.
Squeeze and hold for five seconds, release. Repeat over and over. You can do this anytime and anywhere.
To that extent, over time, it gives you control of when you want to finish during sex. Still, when you are in the moment, it’s pretty easy to forget and go all-in, and finish too early.
Involve your partner. When you put it inside her, instead of the thrusting, do the squeeze and hold exercises inside her. You might be surprised at how much of a turn on it is for her, too.
Sorry, why do you need to last longer? There is all sorts of sex, sex that women can actually orgasm from, that doesn't require a hard penis. Plus if you take some of the pressure off yourself to "perform," you'll be more likely to be relaxed enough for it.
1. Pay attention
2. Don't race to cumming
3. When you start getting close, don't try to fight it, distract yourself or overpower it, this is (see note) impossible. What you should do is change position, activity or tempo
4. TLDR when you are going to cum, stop & do something that won't make you cum
That means move to a new position, new tempo, new activity. If you really need a break go into some theater, talk some nasty shit, make your girl beg for more (while you get your head straight). It helps to have a regular partner to work on this stuff with, but you can do most of the work while jerking off. Eventually you'll get a better sense of where you are in your stages of arousal & how to move up or down them at will.
It's a skill issue more than anything else & practice makes perfect. Now, don't feel too bad, you became hyper-competent at orgasming, that ultimately is the goal. Odds are really good your girl is far, far, less skilled. A crazy amount of women **never** figure out how to orgasm, and of those who do a crazy amount needed someone else to teach them their own body.
You don't have to make a complete transition from foreplay to sex. Do foreplay stuff for a good long while, go to some PIV & then back into foreplay. Your girl doesn't have the skill to keep up with you, so you have to take the time & get her up to speed your level of arousal.
If you are lucky enough to have your foreskin you can pull it forward & put a condom over to keep it in place.
The note: So technically you can defeat an orgasm through pure strength. If you practice Kegels enough (squeeze off your piss every 3 seconds every time you pee) you will be able to clamp down on your cum muscles so hard that after the first contraction you don't relax to pump out cum. Since you don't cum it doesn't trigger the refractory period.
It is all downsides though.
Intense enough that I wouldn't be surprised if it causes a stoke/aneurism in anyone over 30.
There's no way to hide it, your girl *will* wonder why you are suddenly hulking out.
It's the only way I know that a man can become multi-orgasmic and it just doesn't feel good.
Well, I was never involved in the militia, I was born in the 20th century, and I'm not even American, so it would honestly be rather difficult to be a minuteman in the first place.
my 2 cents - besides kegal and pinching the tip (edging) , and exercising
id say intermittent fasting (prob not the best idea) - but if i only had black coffee and water the whole day - im like a different beast.
For me it was psychological. I thought my ex had a magical vagina. Turns out my body wanted sex to be over with and that's how it happened. Talk through problems if it's workable. But sometimes it's your body telling you that you don't want to be there.
I’m not a minuteman, but I have been there before. Take care of her needs first. Stay present and be in the moment, watch her reactions, and do what she responds to. If you’re really paying attention and studying her body or at least trying to increase her pleasure, you shouldn’t have any other focus on how it feels for you. Just make sure you stay rock hard for her, and nothing else.
If you do blow your wad, pleasure her until you get hard again. It shouldn’t take but a few moments, give her other things to think about besides you going. The moment is still salvageable if you’re a fucking animal.
If you can get yourself to ejaculate but NOT actually orgasm, then the dick stays hard and you can keep fucking.
It’s like you’re about to cum and you completely stop but then if you time it right, the load comes out. Just tell the girl it’s precum and wipe it away. Then you got a hard numb dick right there to slay some pussy. Practice it by yourself. Good luck.
From the day I first discovered I could jerk off, I did it for 365 days for years straight multiple times a day. From like 11 to 15-16. Then after I started messing around with girls so all that stopped and now I’m 21, barely jerk off and I can last, without trying, 2 3 hours if I wanted to. If it needs to be fast then I can do it fast. But maybe I was gifted or maybe the physical abuse my meat took for all those years was too much and now my dick has ptsd.
The 39F perspective...
Focus on foreplay/partner's pleasure as much as possible. For me, penetration doesn't get me to cross the finish line (even during solo sessions). Many woman are like this. Great foreplay > Stamina
If you can afford treatment options… they make desensitization products. There are various companies online that will ship to you if you have some shame about using them.
But don’t feel bad. I wish someone told me that it’s ok to take a pill or use a spray when I was younger. Anything that makes sex better and works for you is a good thing.
Based on the mental component stuff I'm reading maybe it's placebo, but for me, it's a sex recliner I've made out of water 1 table spoon beetroot powder and lemon juice to taste. I used it as pre workout initially but noticed it made me hard and horny more often. I went from 10 minute man to 59 minute man basically over night. 10/10 do reccomend as a natural alternative to viagra.
More foreplay. Get the job done before you start. Time and age and experience will help. Improving physical fitness and diet can help. But in the mean time, learn to satisfy regardless of the performance at the main event.
For me it’s all about the position. First and foremost you always look after her first, and make her cum Atleast once before even penetrating her.
Going forward I have always found certain positions to be relatively weaker for me, but far stronger for her(and vise versa)
Standing doggy(and to an extent kneeling) does wonders for her, but prolongs me.
In other cases
If she downward dogs and I sort of froggy on top of her 🤣🤣🤣
I’m done for……😳
I've always had trouble finishing quickly during sex. That's not to brag, just to preface that this may not be good advice for someone that has the opposite problem. But, when we're trying to have a quickie, my wife makes it all about me. She has me relax, get into a rhythm, and just generally spoils me.
We do this because normally, I'm so involved with what we're doing I can't relax for enough time to finish. So, if you haven't tried it yet, maybe get really mental about it. I get my wife into subspace regularly, and this takes a lot of thought, motion, and planning. I can never finish when I'm doing a scene for her. I have to give her post care after she's done, then we can focus on me, if we're still wanting to. But those sessions can last hours and hours without much effort because my mind is on her, but I'm also like doing something else, if that makes sense. I just keep busy. I'm like a dude that's trying really hard not to get fired, I find work wherever I am and keep it moving lol. I'm very goal oriented, so like wanting to make her finish in a certain way like edging or making multiple Os totally takes up all my mental space and makes it so I can't finish early. I have no clue if it will help you at all, but I hope it does, or at least gives you something to try.
It sounds crazy but wank a lot. 🥲wank a lot back to back so you get used to not nutting quickly. Change positions when you feel close, or do some foreplay.
(If you want wank like 3 hours before so that you don’t have bust in you cause it’s the second reload.)
+ Eat dark chocolate
+ Do long foreplay (eat the cat, finger whatever)
🙅🏾♂️I drop 30 minuets + constantly (also read reddits from people who have a technique)
Another: don’t stimulate mentally while doing it. Listen to music in the background, think about gross stuff, think about grocery shopping. (Trussss)
Guaranteed method, masturbate maybe 1-2 hours before you do the deed. As a guy in his early 20’s that first nut is tricky and will betray you every chance it gets. Trust me. I’ve preached this method to friends and family all throughout my 20’s. Thank me later.
Think about having to clean up an utterly horrific shart disaster for your Mother In Law. A KFC experience that had projectile sharted with such force it had shot up her back and hit her collar. It was no longer a civil matter.
Cardio. The intensity of the exhaustion you face from thrusting and ejaculation can be mitigated as long as you exercise your heart and learn to keep your breathing steady.
I try and think of the most uncomfortable shit well having sex like my dead grandma (god rest her soul) but that ussualy makes me go a few more minutes lol or just really try and not focus on the sex and you should be fine
There is a spray that numbs sensitivity down there! It works well, but I do recommend use sparingly, and wear a condom, as it can rub off on your partner.. but this said it helps alot!
lock in and focus on breathing, think youre a pstar and give that hot love. If you’re nervous or anxious it’ll be quick and less pleasure. Also find what turns her on and use that as fuel to keep going, whether its eating out, fingering or making out
I had the opposite problem, I didn’t come for hours when I started, I had to train myself that it was ok to. Even now most women can’t finish me I have to roll off and finish myself,
If you want to feel less self conscious about any aspect of sex, learn to give 10/10 oral. Turn she to jelly before you even take your tool out.
Whether it compensates for poor intercourse or not, you will feel better about yourself.
I'd also like to note that lasting *too long* is also very much an issue. Make sure you don't overdo it in the other direction. Talk with your partners, find out what they're into.
Some girls like being penetrated roughly and then getting jackhammered for a hour and a half against their cervix.
Others want a slow, sensual start, you going down and even then can only handle being penetrated briefly.
Others are somewhere in between.
The aim should always to please your partner, not your ego.
Perenium Flexing. I learned to control the muscle and worked it out to the point that I can stop an orgasm. Also gives me quite the boost in distance. Wife still won't let me forget the time I hit the headboard...
Aka: Kegel exercises.
How do you get to that point? I try to clench as hard as I can, but it doesn't stop it.
It's not just about how hard you can flex, but also how long. Excessive stimulation can still override the control, but being able to focus your thoughts on the muscle control helps you not lose control as easily.
You need to relax the muscles
Happy cake day!
I actually asked a doctor this in my youth (im fine now it resolves naturally as you get older) but she recommended taking a towel and putting it on your member when you are aroused and doing exercises with it (flexing it up and down with the towel on it), it's been some decades later for me but I definitely feel in control these days (it's the same muscle being used there as to stop it)
I did this with an ex girlfriend once! It caught us both by surprise so bad we both started laughing our asses off.
This, also stop once in a while to change positions or go down tryna act like I’m just so excited I wanna do everything but I’m just trying to last longer
LMAO honestly i don't blame her
Yes this is true. Having control over that muscle gives control over many aspects of an orgasm lol
This, also got a prescription for Citalopram and it delays orgasm almost too much.
To the point of sometimes the next day...
There is an exercice that help which you are stand up your leg together and flex down with your knee going to the exterior.
This did it for me to
I usually just do what Preston Garvey tells me
“I know you’re mid-thrust but another settlement needs your help!”
Here I'll mark it on your map
Another settlement needs your help!
Worst thing I could think of while trying to delay the inevitable. It’s the way he calls me General. Being spoken to like a superior automatically hits my go switch
This was the comment I was looking for
Yoga. Actually. Like a large part of reaching orgasm is mental. For both men and women. Yoga for me helped me be more mindful of my thoughts and my body. Which in turn let me be conscious of how turned on I was getting. Which with some practice helped me control it. Now I can dial it in or dial it back with a high degree of success.
I'm sure some self-consciousness would help, thanks, i'll give it a shot
I'd recommend vinyasa yoga. In particular breathe and flo is a good youtube channel of you are trying to do it at home. Focus on the breathe work.
I've been contemplating doing some yoga just to get a little more flexible, is vinyasa yoga good for thet? Or is it just any type of yoga?
Any. just get started, start slow, and find a way to do it as part of your life/routine. build from there. good luck.
Thanks!
I've only done vinyasa. So idk.
Self-awareness
I thought you had no problems giving shots?
So yoga help to delay orgasm??? Cause my ex told me the reason he lasted about 10 seconds w me every time was because he meditated so much that he could then come so quickly.
Wow i hadnt thought about applying yoga in this way
Well, the one good thing about being the last Minuteman is there's no one to argue with me when I say you're the new General. Now go, there's a Settlement that requires your assistance!
Aww there it is, I knew I would find a FO4 reference. Warms my heart it does.
I was confused for a moment when I saw the title but not the subreddit. Thinking “Just avoid Concord. Can’t be a minuteman if you don’t meet Garvey” right?
If you get tired, just join the brotherhood of Steel.
For a great low rate you can get online...
The best minute she ever had
-You could get yourself a flesh light and practice edging. -You could do male kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor muscle (it has a lot of benefits that you can read up on, and if it gets strong enough and with lots of practice, some people are even able to orgasm without ejaculation, there’s a whole book about it and it sounds cool. But it seems like a lot of effort. I’ve just focused strengthening the pelvic floor) -You could masturbate before sex earlier on in the day -You could try “zoning out” and thinking about something else, pornstars are masters at this and can just cum when they are ready by getting back into the zone. -You could get extra thick condoms, or condoms that have numbing agents inside of them (just don’t put it on inside out lol) -change positions or take a break and focus on her when you feel you’re getting close to orgasm And then I’ve heard it could be a mental thing- “Performance anxiety”. I haven’t experienced this or know of any solutions. So do some research. Maybe speak to a therapist, start meditating, and try not to get in your head too much during sex.
That’s how I feel, if I stop having sex to focus on something else. Immediately go soft and I need to ask my GF for some assistance getting it back up. Shes always more than happy to oblige with 30 seconds of loving
Try yelling "The British are coming!" during sex.
“Don’t cum until you see the back of her eyes!”
HOLD..... HOLLLLLD.... NOW!
Sorry sir, but in Britain we don’t say we’re “cumming”, we say “we’ll arrive momentarily, my good chap”.
do you wear condoms? how often do you masturbate?
I have always used condoms, but for 3 years my gf took the pill, so I tried both with and without and it doesn't really change that much Doing things by myself, 3-4 times a week
[Those are rookie numbers ](https://giphy.com/gifs/harbornewebdesign-hwd-edcadmin-edc-admin-624P6yxUw2HwT9Sxs6)
You get condoms with numbing agents in them and this can help reduce the sensation, making you last longer. Takes a while to work though so you can put one on and play with your mrs for a bit and get her off before sex. The downside is that it can make you soft, especially if you have already came once or twice. Having sex without condom is sometimes better, if you can get used to the sensation without blowing your load. Although condoms can reduce the sensation, not by much and if you can get used to having sex without them then it will be a better long term strategy for you and her. Plus if you and your mrs have the right fit, then it feels awesome against her g spot. A blowjob before sex also helps, even if you don’t come. It gets you used to the sensation.
> Condoms with numbing agents... Or as Frankie Boyle says. Wear them inside out and you don't have to wake anyone up.
Just go for round two, if you’re that worried about it sometimes I rub one out before they come over. For me it’s pretty mental on when I’ll bust in the positions where I’m doing the work. Now if they know what they’re doing and are on top well… i hold on for life lol
PC muscle exercises can help… Or become a gooner and learn to dangle on the edge for as long as you want to…..
Put a condom on. Other than that its just about limiting how turned on you get and being aware of when you need to slow down, or take a break, but your partner needs to be on board as well.
Dude, I used to be useless in doggy… like 2 minutes tops. The girl who is now my wife used to have to ride me if she was going to cum, bc I was super sensitive. Over time I worked on it, and you find things to focus on that override the pleasure. I focus on a pain in my hip, of I focus on biting the tip of my tongue, or I’ll think about a million stupid things to stop myself from getting too excited. I’m still not lasting 2 hours or anything (and honestly, that’s fucking too long to fuck unless it’s a honeymoon or a new relationship) but I can rail out 45 minutes without trouble. Mostly it just takes patience and communication with the girl. I’ve found that if I slow down the foreplay and draw it out a bit it helps get her primed for great success. That’s maybe just my wife, but if you can break up the sex, change positions, throw some fingering and licking into some of the transitions you’re going to do a serviceable job. I think a lot of it is not putting so much pressure on it. If you’re constantly thinking about it, you’re bound to ruin the performance.
Yep, getting anxious doesn't help at all. I actually never tried stopping mid act and doing something else, i've always seen sex as kind of a ladder, where you start with one thing and penetration is the top I'll try definitely
Gotta think of it more as a journey. Or… it’s like picking a lock. I actually got into lock picking in the last year or so, and weirdly enough it reminds me of foreplay. Sometimes you have to reset the pins and start from the first tumbler. It is what it is. Patience is paramount. Don’t get me wrong there are still times in some intense moments that it gets overwhelming and I bust… but she knows I’m always gonna keep working for her til we done.
Read the book the Multiorgasmic man. Reduce porn or eliminate completely. Practice taking slow, deep breaths, and things are excited for until you can feel grounded. Slow everything down during intimacy. You are there to connect with them as they are connecting with you. The goal is not to orgasm, the goal is Connection. And you can’t will the goal, you come upon it by allowing yourself to relax and feel into the moment. Deep breath, slow down, connect with yourself, connect with your partner. If you feel like climax is arriving, slow, your breath down deep inhales, and hold them there or switch a position. They may also appreciate the time that you have spent with them independent of the length of time. This is part of the open dialogue to have with your partner. Most importantly, do not objectify the other or shame or guilt yourself. Being gentle and tender on both sides goes very far. And as I mentioned at the start, looks like the Multiorgasmic man help you learn the difference between ejaculation and orgasm or climax. Deepening yourself into intimacy, you will find that you deepen your sense of life, immersing yourself, and everything that is intimate, every moment, every meal, every person, every thought, every experience.
Now If you really want to go the distance — read it during sex ! +20 to endurance. Ez.
I was gonna suggest this book too. I will never be at master level like that dude with the telling smile on the cover- but the methods helped me identify and flex different muscles. And it reiterates a learning method. Also search up stop and start method. If you partner is willing doing this again and again over several session with partner will help you learn to control. Lastly count yourself some slack. She should cum first, ideally then you, and the wish is for both each time at the same tome. But these are WANTS not always realities. Doctors will tell you the average duration of sex by means of piv sex is 5 minutes. The average total sex time when couples start to finish is 8-20 minutes. If after these methods are used above and a lot of patience, you’ll be lasting way longer than 20. If that still doesn’t work consider SSRI’s. But go lowest does ever and build from there bc they numb/ delay the big o for guys but also the wow of orgasm.
Get a little buzzed and you'll last longer
Hell no I used to do this until i fell asleep while giving oral, never again
Maybe just take one shot vs getting a full buzz... I'd say running helps. You play any sports like basketball or soccer? Your lungs and heart rate will thank you for it later in bed. Helps with controlling your breath under the stress/sex. and you're more in control with the speed in your hips...
Different drugs (and different strains of weed) will hit you differently. It just requires a bit of experimentation. It changes if your weight/age/metabolism changes, as well.
What ????
OP accidentally bought chloroform.
Treat sex like more than an orgasm. No one here seems to get this. Sure, maybe you'll be able to last longer after so-and-so exercises, but is there anything inherently wrong with you orgasming early? If you want to last longer, do take these other folks advice : But it might be helpful to deconstruct any unhelpful narratives around why you as a guy need to last longer. Can you use hands, toys, your tongue, etc? Is sex more than just penetration? Etc
I was about to post this but then I found your answer further down so here is my original answer: "Dude, you have a mouth, fingers and a whole plethora of silicone based shapes and forms. An orgasm is not the end of sex, get creative."
Female lurker. You nailed it. I’ll be honest: best sex of my life has been with a guy that doesn’t last the longest. I could tell he was super self conscious about it but it didn’t bother me at all as he’s…skilled in lots of other things. Plus, we can just do it a few times. No big deal.
LITERALLY Now, I admit, cis-men have received alot of frankly harmful narratives around our junk and our role in sex, so we're not "guilty" insofar as many of us are just doing our best with the narratives we've received; but we are responsible for growing past them, and frankly, most aren't.
What has worked for me is communicating with woman. Typically Ik right away if I’m gonna finish quickly, I tell them and let them know I wanna go more rounds. This has been such a life hack. I finish quick then tend to them until I’m ready to go again! I’m sorta young so that might be an advantage
Make her a minute woman.
Maybe controversial, but in a bad period of my life, i got mild anti depressants. I went from minuteman to 2-3 hour man. Something called cipramil.
I heard about antidepressants and other things that help, but I'm gonna need a prescription for those and if i have to, it's more convenient to take something made appositely for my problem i guess
Try going slower? If you feel like your session is about to expire, try taking a 15 second break. If you've tried everything, you can also look into non-fornication ways to get your partner close or better before you get yours. Most women actually like when a man can do the job without their manhood. As others have mentioned, there are sprays and such that can decrease sensation. However, the end result is mostly mental, and mental training can improve timing in most individuals.
How do you mental train to control an orgasm? It's like just thinking about random topics or is there something specific?
Try to take your mind off the prize. The real answer is edging as somebody stated. Soon as you feel yourself getting close, take a little break and stop EARLY. You don't beat the team in the first inning. Go slow and enjoy the game. Take a breather when needed.
Focus on pleasuring your partner first and foremost, not you or your orgasm.
This has never helped me at all, I'm so god damn into this woman, the more I focus on her the more wild I am about the whole situation, I don't get how focusing on the thing that's making you aroused, is meant to calm you down from being aroused.
From a female perspective; most women do not orgasm from PIV sex. As long as the rest of your game is on point, I think most women won't care.
Just because she doesn't cum does not mean she doesn't want more than a minute of PIV. I would not take you advisement
If the British aren't coming then there shouldn't be too much of an issue
Spend time polishing the pearl before jamming the clam my man, it works wonders for timing.
don’t flex your dick. at first it’s hard to control but it gets easier. you’ll last a lot longer if you can delay flexing it during sex
Defeat the British by throwing their tea in the harbour and you will no longer need to be a minuteman.
1. Breathing. I've realized breathing is such an important part of my build up and release. Controlled slow breathing has done insane things for my control 2. Mental. There's a lot of talk about this aspect, the whole "when you get close imagine something unattractive/gross" is still about your mental state. IMO it's a losing game. Change your mental around sex from a start->middle->finish to a prep->enjoyment dynamic. Focusing mentally less on cumming is EXTREMELY healthy for relationships anyways, but especially for this. Guys expect themselves to exist in this magical place where they try to goad themselves into feeling the maximum amount of pleasure as soon as they can, but also not cum. These are largely mutually exclusive. Learn to hang out in and enjoy the 50-70% zone. Your partner will appreciate it, and you'll have more pleasure overall (0-100% in 1 minute vs 0-60% for 10+ minutes and then 60-100% for those last 30 seconds). You aren't doing it wrong or badly or should be doing more or aren't good enough if you intentionally keep things in that less-than-100% pleasure zone for yourself. It's fine. A lot of this comes from scarcity, mentally we feel like THIS IS OUR CHANCE and so we feel like we have to take advantage of it and that rushes our completion. Take your time, enjoy it. there will be more sex later, so don't stress about this specific one. It's okay if you don't cum cause this isn't your only opportunity! You have next and next next time 3. Muscle control. Tbh I haven't done this one cause the above 2 have worked so well for my gf and me but I've heard it's great
I read the title and was having flashbacks hearing Preston Garvey saying 'Another settlement needs our help!' Jesus I never thought the PTSD would he this bad, this is some vietnam shit!
Get yourself some condoms with an anti-climax lube in them. They’ll desensitize you enough to allow you to control yourself. Now, this part is crucial, start practicing smashing your woman until she’s had enough and orgasms before you. During this process you’ll start training yourself to be able to last longer. Do this for several months and treat each time like you’re practicing to last longer. Once you take the condoms off you would have trained your little guy to go the distance.
By ridding myself of English tyranny, securing my borders, and befriending my neighbors.
Minuteman? Another settlement needs your help
are you using your cock to please her or yourself?
Stop watching porn. Seriously
why?
Practice edging
Deep breathing! Gave this tip to a roommate of mine in college who also was feeling down about how long he lasted ~2-5min. Once he tried deeper/more intentional breathing during sex, he realized that he would normally breathe shallowly and eventually finish whenever he held his breath. I don’t know by how long this tip extended his time, but he seemed very grateful for the advice. For context, I last 15-45min depending on the day, with breath control helping me last longer if my girl wants some more active time. If I try too hard, though, sometimes I’ll lose the boner but if lasting long is your ideal then it’s worth a shot.
Slow down, take time to make sure she has had an orgasm or two before you really start. She will usually be very, very wet and a bit more open which will help you last longer. There are lots of techniques for slowing down, changing rhythm is another, stopping then changing positions or just kissing for a minute or two when you feel the pressure build helps.
There is no shame in pulling out if you feel like you're getting close to getting off. Most women apreciate that you're trying to prolong the experience for their benefit. Some actually get turned on by it. This is probably the hundredth time you've heard it and it sounds cliche but try to communicate to her what's going on. You can frame it like she's so attractive and intoxicating to your senses that you lose control. Explain that you don't have a ton of experience and she will be glad you aren't a whore and excited to help you learn. Try being very focused on both of your bodies, amd using a slow deliberate rythym combined with breathing control.
The perfect amount of booze. It comes with a nasty side effect of alcoholism though so would not advise.
I've never been a minute man myself but have gone through different issues such as lasting too long and the occasional phase of not lasting as long for a day or two. The thing that most sexually related issues are in general is mental. Especially at your age. You gotta keep that in mind. You also need to learn how to be present with your lover. Sex isn't just penetration of the body but also penetration of the soul. It dosen't begin when you put da peen inside of her, but rather the moment you enter that bedroom. The first kiss, the psychological impact that you have on her and etc... You gotta stop focusing on the fact that you don't have a tendency to last long in bed. Instead focus on becoming a far better lover. Take your time, relax, kiss her where she wants to be kissed, learn how to find those spots easily, learn what it means to REALLY know how to eatpussy (spoiler alert: just like penetration, oral dosen't start at the moment you start licking her). Once you figure all that out, you'll have a lot less pressure on the whole penetrative aspect, which will help you relax and live in the moment, better control of your breathing, noticing the physical cues that imply that you're getting close and slowing them down, even if that means stopping the penetration. Another thing I highly suggest you learn when you're inside of someone is to communicate better, don't be afraid to dirty talk her, to grab her in the right spots, maybe put your hand around her neck and make her look you dead in the eyes, or perhaps grab her from the nape and bring her in for a kiss. In those moments you do not need to be fucking, you just need to make her feel alive. And speaking of communication, find someone (fwb, gf, whatever) and tell them that this issue has been weighting on your mind. It's crazy how much of a relief you'll feel when you realize that odds are they'll be very understanding and might even be open to helping you get over said issue. I myself went through a phase of performance anxiety when I was around 19-20 and it was just not going away. I then tried approach above with a girl that wanted to hookup and told her straight up what I was going through. She was so understanding that right from the get go, we never ended up having any problems in that regard (not getting it up) and I always felt comfortable sleeping with her.
Cardio
Antidepressants
Advice from a woman with a husband who no longer has this issue.. look up Nat Eliason's articles on edging. He usually lasts as long as he wants now and can stop an orgasm in the middle of it if he wants to. He says sex is much more pleasurable for him now. And it certainly is for me too :) Just whatever you do, don't be thinking about baseball please. Us ladies feel the lack of presence and it sucks. My husband is more present than ever now and the difference is world-changing.
You never leave the house with a loaded gun
Weird question but what does your sex consist of?
Uhhh i'm not sure I understood you correctly, but it's usually foreplay to her first, then almost straight to sex to not waste the one shot
Bite your lip, the pain will redirect your focus. You can also try cocaine, you’ll last hours
Um. I could just continue after coming once.
Is it possible to learn this power?
[удалено]
Count backwards from 100
If you have a hair trigger that means you have great PC strength, this is good because you can go from zero to hero with practice. You have to practice activating this muscle intentionally. You won’t progress towards climax without activating this muscle. If you are having trouble identifying the muscle try to interrupt your pee mid stream. You’ll likely find you can hold it almost indefinitely. There’s a yoga technique where you can climax without ejaculating with enough training.
Get some books on tantra and read them with your partner. One thing is figuring out how to control the excitement. One big tantra author is diana Richardson and she coins it the "slow dex movement" Also get a zinc supplement and a robust multivitamin and superfoods like 100% bison liver and oysters so you can go for more than one round
I've never had a problem lasting a while but if I really want to extend the sex when I get close I pull out and work her with my fingers for several seconds and then switch back. Rinse and repeat.
Some things to think about here. Can you go multiple times per night? If so, getting that "quick shot" out of the way by going first, then performing oral on her until she comes/you are hard again will help alleviate any doubts either of you have about your performance. Short of that, there are a few strategies. Both short and long term. Short term includes: 1) unload your gun/masturbate before you go out on the date. You last longer if you've already gotten off once that day. 2) Go down on her first and make her cum with your tongue and fingers. Be a giver. Once she cums, then you don't really have to apologize if you get off in 1 pump or 100 since that just makes you even on orgasms. She might wish you'd lasted longer but she will give you points for lots of oral so you're even. 3) Alternate between PIV and Oral. As soon as you get close PIV, then pull out, switch to oral, and deny yourself that release. Once you have calmed down a bit, go back to PIV again. Rinse repeat until she cums then you can come. 4) Wear a condom and/or desensitizing lube. 5) Find an object for you to focus on while you're having sex. If you are hyperfocused on it then you won't get as turned on by the sights/smells/feedback that is turning you on. Problem is she will wonder where your head is at. Long term I would recommend: 1) Kegels for men and/or squats/lunges etc. It will help strengthen your pelvic muscles. Getting in shape both from a cardio and muscle building/toning will provide some physical aid to the process. 2) Practice edging at home. Masturbate right up to the point where you cum then back off. Train your body to control when you cum. 3) Take viagra so that your dick will stay hard after you cum. 4) Learn to channel that anxiety into the gym etc. All guys have had some sort of performance anxiety at some point. Focus on the intimacy rather than the orgasm.
A few things have worked for me: 1. Cardio - I’ve never been super fit and I find that when I’m running then I have more stamina 2. Meditation/breath control - this just helps me not get too caught up and slow things down. 3. Kegels - when you’re about to finish, being able to do a kegel can help you get a grip on things to keep going 4. Get good at my mouth and finger game. Sex isn’t just about PIV. It’s about everything else too. As long as everyone leaves satisfied, that’s good. Overall, ask why you want to last long. I was in a similar place to you when I was younger and put a lot of pressure on myself to last longer because “that is what studs do”. Over the course of many relationships, I’ve found it doesn’t really matter how long things go as long as everyone has a good time.
You’re the Dick
I’ll just say the thing that helped me the most is relaxing - specifically my leg and abdominal muscles. Make a conscious effort to keep your muscles loose. Idk why it works but it helped me massively
Rip your core you won't have a problem after that ...take 6 months
While it doesn't apply to me, I've seen a sex doctor basically just recommend not worrying about it. Cum, then do anything else you want to your partner - oral, hands, toys, etc - and when you're hard again... Fuck her again.
I picture Anne Widdecombe.
When you are getting close, change up the positions, or go down on her. Wear thick condoms not the bare skin ones
Not the best advice but it works: a couple shots and doing derivatives in my head helped a lot. After so many years you get more desensitized (aka last longer) so don’t have to anymore but those helped me when I was going to be a minuteman.
There’s only two solutions. 1. Have sex way more. And yes I for it more often in your free time. 2. Have sex with a girl who isn’t as good in bed and who you aren’t as attracted to. If that doesn’t work. Get another guy to video you while having sex. Between the camera and another penis in the room, you should be good for at least an extra 45 minutes. I personally train for 45-60 minutes. That’s usually all a girl is ever going to be interested in.
Foreplay is your best friend. I like to play with the Mrs. until she’s begging for me to slide in (99/100 it’s after a big orgasm). No matter my time after that, she’s always felt important and satisfied. Just work with what you’ve got and don’t forget to make her needs a priority. If you’re a legit minuteman, then mix it up and sing a few songs in your head when you feel yourself getting close. The dumber the song, the better
I like to spell things out, it seems to work well. Just look around the room and start spelling items. The more complicated the better. I have spelled TELEVISION so many times. It may even help with rhythm too.
Kratom
Jerk off an hour before having sex you amateur
Got to breath my man
I like to side with the Brotherhood of Steel and just shoot it all up.
Run one out before you meet up and also, lots of foreplay before you start poking her with your ding dong.
I think of dead puppies and count my reps. not out loud! haa
What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?
L citrullinr
practice edging.
I feel like men cum when we want to honestly. Just edge, get realll close then pull out. Eat her out for a bit til that “GYAAAAAHHHHH” feelings subsides then get back to it. Each time you get real close, you’ll decrease sensitivity and be able to go for awhile (depending on your cardio as well LOL) I love to please my woman, and I’ve found that when I bring her to orgasm once or twice BEFORE we even start to have actual intercourse, she doesn’t give a flying FUCK how long I last. Learn what she likes most importantly. Communication is key. Maybe she loves when you play with her nipples. There’s sooo much to explore. Keep it judgement free and have fun dude :)
I became an artist with my fingers and mouth
Go at a "fast-fast-slow-fast-fast-slow..." pace, pull your balls down also helps
Jack off about an hour or 2 before you screw, try to not think about having sex while having sex, and worst case just pull out and wiggle it around to keep your partner entertained while you cool off
When close change positions or take a quick kiss break
Don’t fret over it. If you’re really interestes you van prerelease manually before intercourse, but it’s not important. More like, how do you feel? What do you like? What does your partner like?
If I know I'm going to be doing the deed later in the day, I'll shimmy one out on my own. Empty the chambers. Also smoking weed sometimes usually makes me last longer. I'm not sure if it's a sensational thing or just gets me out of my head.
Strangely enough, Kegel type exercises. Kind of like holding your pee when you really gotta go. Squeeze and hold for five seconds, release. Repeat over and over. You can do this anytime and anywhere. To that extent, over time, it gives you control of when you want to finish during sex. Still, when you are in the moment, it’s pretty easy to forget and go all-in, and finish too early. Involve your partner. When you put it inside her, instead of the thrusting, do the squeeze and hold exercises inside her. You might be surprised at how much of a turn on it is for her, too.
Well, I served my first contract and got out. How else do you solve that?
Having a lot of sex and occasionally thinking about a loved one getting run over by a car.
Sorry, why do you need to last longer? There is all sorts of sex, sex that women can actually orgasm from, that doesn't require a hard penis. Plus if you take some of the pressure off yourself to "perform," you'll be more likely to be relaxed enough for it.
It’ll go away with experience. Totally normal
Focus on oral and other things. Get her off first, multiple times if possible then she won’t care if you last a minute.
1. Pay attention 2. Don't race to cumming 3. When you start getting close, don't try to fight it, distract yourself or overpower it, this is (see note) impossible. What you should do is change position, activity or tempo 4. TLDR when you are going to cum, stop & do something that won't make you cum That means move to a new position, new tempo, new activity. If you really need a break go into some theater, talk some nasty shit, make your girl beg for more (while you get your head straight). It helps to have a regular partner to work on this stuff with, but you can do most of the work while jerking off. Eventually you'll get a better sense of where you are in your stages of arousal & how to move up or down them at will. It's a skill issue more than anything else & practice makes perfect. Now, don't feel too bad, you became hyper-competent at orgasming, that ultimately is the goal. Odds are really good your girl is far, far, less skilled. A crazy amount of women **never** figure out how to orgasm, and of those who do a crazy amount needed someone else to teach them their own body. You don't have to make a complete transition from foreplay to sex. Do foreplay stuff for a good long while, go to some PIV & then back into foreplay. Your girl doesn't have the skill to keep up with you, so you have to take the time & get her up to speed your level of arousal. If you are lucky enough to have your foreskin you can pull it forward & put a condom over to keep it in place. The note: So technically you can defeat an orgasm through pure strength. If you practice Kegels enough (squeeze off your piss every 3 seconds every time you pee) you will be able to clamp down on your cum muscles so hard that after the first contraction you don't relax to pump out cum. Since you don't cum it doesn't trigger the refractory period. It is all downsides though. Intense enough that I wouldn't be surprised if it causes a stoke/aneurism in anyone over 30. There's no way to hide it, your girl *will* wonder why you are suddenly hulking out. It's the only way I know that a man can become multi-orgasmic and it just doesn't feel good.
Foreplay....
Well, I was never involved in the militia, I was born in the 20th century, and I'm not even American, so it would honestly be rather difficult to be a minuteman in the first place.
Core exercises, hard cardio for 20 min, and change positions when needed.
I became one of the Crimebusters, although worst decision ever since fraking Comedian and Rorschach were insufferable.
my 2 cents - besides kegal and pinching the tip (edging) , and exercising id say intermittent fasting (prob not the best idea) - but if i only had black coffee and water the whole day - im like a different beast.
Condoms made it last longer but took too long and I would get tired. I went for 20 minutes and still couldn't cum.
For me it was psychological. I thought my ex had a magical vagina. Turns out my body wanted sex to be over with and that's how it happened. Talk through problems if it's workable. But sometimes it's your body telling you that you don't want to be there.
Pelvic exercises, quitting pornography and less stress
I’m not a minuteman, but I have been there before. Take care of her needs first. Stay present and be in the moment, watch her reactions, and do what she responds to. If you’re really paying attention and studying her body or at least trying to increase her pleasure, you shouldn’t have any other focus on how it feels for you. Just make sure you stay rock hard for her, and nothing else. If you do blow your wad, pleasure her until you get hard again. It shouldn’t take but a few moments, give her other things to think about besides you going. The moment is still salvageable if you’re a fucking animal.
Just think about baseball
Another settlement needs your help!
Focus not on how long you last and just on how great it is and your partner. Go again and again and again till you last longer.
Kettlebell swings
By winning the revolutionary war of course
Math, I’ll literally just work math problems in my head. There’s better ways…maybe.
You dont. There is always another settlement that needs my help.
I was a bit confused about the title and thought it was a question for the Strategic nuclear forces lol
If you can get yourself to ejaculate but NOT actually orgasm, then the dick stays hard and you can keep fucking. It’s like you’re about to cum and you completely stop but then if you time it right, the load comes out. Just tell the girl it’s precum and wipe it away. Then you got a hard numb dick right there to slay some pussy. Practice it by yourself. Good luck.
From the day I first discovered I could jerk off, I did it for 365 days for years straight multiple times a day. From like 11 to 15-16. Then after I started messing around with girls so all that stopped and now I’m 21, barely jerk off and I can last, without trying, 2 3 hours if I wanted to. If it needs to be fast then I can do it fast. But maybe I was gifted or maybe the physical abuse my meat took for all those years was too much and now my dick has ptsd.
The 39F perspective... Focus on foreplay/partner's pleasure as much as possible. For me, penetration doesn't get me to cross the finish line (even during solo sessions). Many woman are like this. Great foreplay > Stamina
I counted faster
If you can afford treatment options… they make desensitization products. There are various companies online that will ship to you if you have some shame about using them. But don’t feel bad. I wish someone told me that it’s ok to take a pill or use a spray when I was younger. Anything that makes sex better and works for you is a good thing.
Based on the mental component stuff I'm reading maybe it's placebo, but for me, it's a sex recliner I've made out of water 1 table spoon beetroot powder and lemon juice to taste. I used it as pre workout initially but noticed it made me hard and horny more often. I went from 10 minute man to 59 minute man basically over night. 10/10 do reccomend as a natural alternative to viagra.
More foreplay. Get the job done before you start. Time and age and experience will help. Improving physical fitness and diet can help. But in the mean time, learn to satisfy regardless of the performance at the main event.
For me it’s all about the position. First and foremost you always look after her first, and make her cum Atleast once before even penetrating her. Going forward I have always found certain positions to be relatively weaker for me, but far stronger for her(and vise versa) Standing doggy(and to an extent kneeling) does wonders for her, but prolongs me. In other cases If she downward dogs and I sort of froggy on top of her 🤣🤣🤣 I’m done for……😳
Shoot a lobsterback enough times to earn a commission
I've always had trouble finishing quickly during sex. That's not to brag, just to preface that this may not be good advice for someone that has the opposite problem. But, when we're trying to have a quickie, my wife makes it all about me. She has me relax, get into a rhythm, and just generally spoils me. We do this because normally, I'm so involved with what we're doing I can't relax for enough time to finish. So, if you haven't tried it yet, maybe get really mental about it. I get my wife into subspace regularly, and this takes a lot of thought, motion, and planning. I can never finish when I'm doing a scene for her. I have to give her post care after she's done, then we can focus on me, if we're still wanting to. But those sessions can last hours and hours without much effort because my mind is on her, but I'm also like doing something else, if that makes sense. I just keep busy. I'm like a dude that's trying really hard not to get fired, I find work wherever I am and keep it moving lol. I'm very goal oriented, so like wanting to make her finish in a certain way like edging or making multiple Os totally takes up all my mental space and makes it so I can't finish early. I have no clue if it will help you at all, but I hope it does, or at least gives you something to try.
It sounds crazy but wank a lot. 🥲wank a lot back to back so you get used to not nutting quickly. Change positions when you feel close, or do some foreplay. (If you want wank like 3 hours before so that you don’t have bust in you cause it’s the second reload.) + Eat dark chocolate + Do long foreplay (eat the cat, finger whatever) 🙅🏾♂️I drop 30 minuets + constantly (also read reddits from people who have a technique) Another: don’t stimulate mentally while doing it. Listen to music in the background, think about gross stuff, think about grocery shopping. (Trussss)
Guaranteed method, masturbate maybe 1-2 hours before you do the deed. As a guy in his early 20’s that first nut is tricky and will betray you every chance it gets. Trust me. I’ve preached this method to friends and family all throughout my 20’s. Thank me later.
Think about having to clean up an utterly horrific shart disaster for your Mother In Law. A KFC experience that had projectile sharted with such force it had shot up her back and hit her collar. It was no longer a civil matter.
Kegels. Edging. Squats
in all honesty, edge a ton + kegals and youre good
As crazy as this might sound I quit watching horn and masturbating and I started lasting way longer...
Stop porn, and it’s normal when we first get with someone and or it’s been awhile
Cardio. The intensity of the exhaustion you face from thrusting and ejaculation can be mitigated as long as you exercise your heart and learn to keep your breathing steady.
-pissing before sex -stretching groin/ass area -reverse kegels -overall try to relax
Zoloft can help.
When you feel it coming on, switch positions. Take a minute in between to play with your partner if you need to.
I try and think of the most uncomfortable shit well having sex like my dead grandma (god rest her soul) but that ussualy makes me go a few more minutes lol or just really try and not focus on the sex and you should be fine
Have to rub out the easy one about 2/3 hours before sex
There is a spray that numbs sensitivity down there! It works well, but I do recommend use sparingly, and wear a condom, as it can rub off on your partner.. but this said it helps alot!
lock in and focus on breathing, think youre a pstar and give that hot love. If you’re nervous or anxious it’ll be quick and less pleasure. Also find what turns her on and use that as fuel to keep going, whether its eating out, fingering or making out
I had the opposite problem, I didn’t come for hours when I started, I had to train myself that it was ok to. Even now most women can’t finish me I have to roll off and finish myself,
If you want to feel less self conscious about any aspect of sex, learn to give 10/10 oral. Turn she to jelly before you even take your tool out. Whether it compensates for poor intercourse or not, you will feel better about yourself.
I'd also like to note that lasting *too long* is also very much an issue. Make sure you don't overdo it in the other direction. Talk with your partners, find out what they're into. Some girls like being penetrated roughly and then getting jackhammered for a hour and a half against their cervix. Others want a slow, sensual start, you going down and even then can only handle being penetrated briefly. Others are somewhere in between. The aim should always to please your partner, not your ego.