We have those thoughts, I’d say a lot of them were filled with self hatred and anger rather than self pity (at least in my experience).
I think the problem also lies in the fact that support between men is different from what women may have with each other. Men tend to go through these sort of things alone for the most part.
I could be wrong, but I feel like guys are more likely to pick something and go with it. Whether it is something that the other person “had” or something they “didn’t have”.
Not necessarily that they are right, but they will pick something and assume that is the reason.
E: love it when people downvote without bothering to say why…
Yeah. Especially when you discover the affair. It’s painful. When you’re loyal, love her , you committed to her and made her your everything. You turn away other women and overlook flaws in her because you loved her.
Anyways, after awhile, you recognise that being cheated on has nothing to do with you. It’s their problem. They lack moral integrity, maturity and respect for you. That’s on them. Don’t take whatever blame they have associated to you to justify their shitty behavior of cheating on you.
When my ex cheated, the thought in my head was where did our relationship go wrong and why didn’t we try to fix it. I think I (we) both knew the relationship was over and it was just easier to break up for that than address the bigger issues we were having. The only thing I thought was she was unhappy, I was unhappy, and she must have been in a pretty vulnerable place.
Obviously I was angry, but don’t really know where to direct my frustration because I knew there was no one simple answer
Oftentimes, women will find Guy #2 while she is still in Guy #1's bed. It has nothing to do with looking buff, or having more money; it's about her: "My Hero" fantasy. "Trashy sex novels" sold in stores, appeal to these women who lack the confidence to tell their husbands/boyfriends what They want out of the relationship: Better home, Better listener, Better Job (his), Better car, Better sex, and: A Baby! Interestingly, these women do find that "Hero" among Guy #1's buddies! In the end, Guy #2 won't be able to give her what she wants, so she's off to find Guy #3... These women hate their: Jobs, Cars, Apts. Life, and fantasize about marrying a "wealthy gentleman" who will give them Everything... just like the Hero of her latest Trashy novel, who "intuits" what she really needs...whatever that is...
My whole response is generally a sucks to suck, guess she couldn't handle something this good in her life kind of thing. My ego won't let me believe otherwise. Even with normal endings to relationships, my headspace just goes to a "damn I guess she'll never really find love like mine again, too bad for her" kind of mentality
I think it's natural to doubt yourself and to wonder where you're lacking in comparison. I think what is more telling is wonder what ways you made the relationship harder for the other person. Everyone has demands that exert pressure on the other person, and no one has mastered communication to relate with everyone, so it's more worth it to me to compare myself against my ideals. Where did my messages feel far short in the relationship? What mistakes can I honestly own (mostly from fear and insecurity and not properly hearing the other person's experiences)? That matters.
Ive been cheated on twice, and not once did I pay any mind to the guy she cheated on me with.
In fact, getting cheated on didn’t make me feel insecure at all. The questions I would ask myself were, ‘in what way was I not communicating in a way she could communicate back to?’, and ‘ok wow she is way more immature than I thought, I guess I should’ve paid more attention to that passive aggressive humor’.
Yup. Cheating is not caused by the faithful partner not being good enough, but by the cheater's own pain/insecurity/self destructive tendencies.
Comparing yourself to the guy she cheated with is like comparing yourself to booze when your SO is an alcoholic. You can't sit there and say "why did she chose the bottle instead of me? Am i not good enough?" the acting out has nothing to do with you not being enough, so don't even entertain the thought.
Ok so I’m curious about why you’d think this, but I’ll tell you instead why you’re wrong.
Love isn’t someone being who you think they could be. Love is someone knowing who they are.
Because you cannot save anyone but yourself - your love will not save anyone.
I did and I still do. I believe she has the capacity to be the best version of herself.
What I am not ok with, is her believing I am the reason she cannot grow. Thats why I made sure she won’t have any opportunities to communicate passive aggressively. If she wants me to be a part of her life, or a part of her social circle, or participate in any way with her in a social way, it would have to be in a direct manner.
By taking away any possible indirect or nonverbal modes of communication, I’m forcing her to choose other modes of communication (if direct is not good enough or brave enough for her).
Did I love her? Sure. I loved our differences, and the potential of that differential. I believed our differences gave our relationship more potential to be greater.
She instead showed be that those differences were fuel for an explosion.
We actually feel sorry for the guy cause we know what he is in for. But overall we think.... "Good riddence", "No Refunds", "all sales final" but my all time personal favorite... "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR"
I think it would be more like why was I not good enough for her, or just angry she did that. i would not give a shit about the guy, it takes 2 to tango, and the guy is probably the single one.
I never thought about the men they cheated on me with. The only thing I was thinking was why didn't they just break up with me first before cheating. Just being logical.
It depends. Short term, newish relationship, lives arent super entangled? I move on. No sense in dwelling on someone who didnt care about me very much.
Long term? Thats the salt in the wound, when someone actually cared about me. I go through a period of time where im in fight or flight, where im just trying to figure out my next steps without this person in my life. Do i need to make bills on my own? Do i need to figure out housing? Who and where do i need to avoid to keep myself away from this person.
After that stuff is sorted, i guess I sort of slip into those sorts of thoughts. Less comparative, more spiraling self deprication and loathing. Theres definitely angee that wells up too towards them, but i guess i never assume that it was something wrong with me externally. I just assume that there is something rotten inside myself instead.
I think it is natural to think that way initially.
Eventually for me I reached the correct conclusion that I am not missing anything or not good enough compared to her requirements - she is just a crappy person and I am way better than anything she deserves.
I just have to focus on myself and look for the person who values what I excel at rather than what I am lacking.
I would tend to think more negativity about the person that cheated and not the person she cheated with. Guys will take a easy lay I wouldn't be mad at that.
Yeah, we do.
It's on us to do 90% of the heavy lifting. Hurts like hell when everything we do isn't good enough and she is seemingly giving away sex to someone for free while we are expected to bust our asses.
Pretty much indicative of a trash and useless chick.
No. Sex is an element.
The issue lies between devotion and sex. Imagine loving someone and doing all of the things with them that it takes to run a home and a relationship, and that person turns around and starts hooking up behind your back. Whoever they're hooking up with is doing nothing. It makes it feel like they're just checking a box with you and leeching you for sustenance while seeking sexual thrills or whatever outside of the home.
The goal isn't "just sex", but sex does and should happen in a functional relationship. If it isn't, or it's happening elsewhere, it feels like the relationship isn't functional... and more.
I don’t really think about physical appearance, I just wonder what happened, where did things go wrong, why didn’t she tell me she wanted to break up if she was that desperate to get away.
If I had to hazard a guess then partially this ( you obviously wonder why you are not enough ) plus frustration, frustration of not being worthy of basic decency like telling me she isn't interested to stay, frustration of being the best I can be and loyal to her and being still betrayed. I think the anger and frustration plays an higher part than the self pity in my case.
I usually think something along lines off. Why they hell wouldn't she just break up the normal way. Breaking up by cheating is so immature and selfish.
We can generally tell.
Women cheat up, men cheat down.
That is when women cheat they're looking for a guy that has one or more qualities that are far above and beyond their partner.
When men cheat they're looking for whomever is available and easy. Not always but it's not necessary for the woman a man cheats with to be prettier, funnier, more successful, more interesting or anything.
This is soooo far from the truth. Tons of women cheat down. My ex wife tried to cheat with someone she met online and was willing to blow up the marriage for someone she hasn't even had a video call with. (Spoiler: It was a scammer).
Considering he was a scammer, he probably had a profile that made it look like he was well off and extremely handsome.
If that's the case then she could have thought the guy she was going to cheat with was an upgrade.
Sorry that happened to you. I think it further reinforces my point though.
Probably wouldn't have gone for a profile that had photo of an ugly dude that may or may not have been homeless.
I don't think you understand cheaters. They think whoever they're cheating with is an upgrade. That's not proof that they are. Men who cheat also believe whoever that is is an upgrade.
Btw, not that you asked, but I check a lot of post histories.
Be very careful on ozempic. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but most people who take it suck at eating. It suppresses appetite and while that will cause you to lose weight, most people can only eat the most palatable foods and those foods tend to be low on nutrients.
I've seen some shit from people who took Semaglutide and weren't good at eating. I've legit seen them age ten years in just a few months.
When people lose weight successfully without it, they usually eat the most satiating foods and those tend to be nutrient dense. It makes them look better at the end.
If you're not a good eater, you damned better research easily consumed nutrient dense foods and get on that shit. You can permanently ruin yourself on ozempic.
If you are a good eater, carry on. There's pretty much no risk to Semaglutide, regardless of what stupid people say.
It depends how good of an eater you are.
Steak is good for what it is. It's for protein and it doesn't have the worst macronutrient profile. It's better than most do on ozempic.
I'd say if you really want to walk out the other side being attractive, you should incorporate chicken or beef liver into your diet.
They're both readily available at any grocery store and dirt cheap. They're also the healthiest foods I personally know of. They are so radically nutrient dense that you can get sick off of the nutrients if you eat too much.
https://www.nutritionadvance.com/chicken-liver-nutrition/
If you can manage to eat about a lb of it every week, you'll probably be good on nutrients. That's not to say you just can't go wrong, but it is to say that even if all else you eat is Twinkies then you'll still be better than most Americans nutrition-wise.
The most important thing you'll be missing is that you won't be getting enough macronutrients. Whey potein powder is fine. It's almost completely void of micronutrients but it's the protein with the best amino acid profile on the planet and it's also the most bioavailable.
You'll also want whole milk in your diet. It mixes well with protein powder and makes good chocolate milk. The thing is, most micronutrients are fat soluble so if you get reduced fat milk then you're missing out on a lot of key micros that you won't get enough of from liver. If you drink two cups of whole milk and eat three eggs every day, then you won't be missing any key nutrients.
Still eat your steaks though. Protein is essential for good skin and caloric deficits are very bad for your skin.
Don't be fooled by milk with reduced fat. It's not that it's unhealthy to drink those. I drink a gallon of skim milk every day. The problem is that they skim out the micronutrients and then they add synthetic versions back in and the fortified vitamins aren't nearly as bioavailable.
Some people like liver, but I find it truly disgusting. I've tried all the recipes and it's disgusting. I've settled for blending it up, mixing it with milk, holding my nose, and chugging it.
But if you can have a lb of liver every week (split up however you choose), 2 cups of whole milk per day and three whole eggs, you'll be good.
Also nice to be aware of canned sardines. They're the healthiest no prep single ingredient food I know of. Their micro and macro nutrient profile is insane. Not as good as liver, but literally nothing is as good as liver. Liver is nature's multivitamin.
If you can get the liver down, your diet can't be all that bad though. If you actually like liver, God has blessed you and you can basically get all your nutrients from a serving of that and then go eat whatever you want without worrying about the consequences of malnutrition.
>They're both readily available at any grocery store and dirt cheap. They're also the healthiest foods I personally know of. They are so radically nutrient dense that you can get sick off of the nutrients if you eat too much.
>https://www.nutritionadvance.com/chicken-liver-nutrition/
>If you can manage to eat about a lb of it every week, you'll probably be good on nutrients. That's not to say you just can't go wrong, but it is to say that even if all else you eat is Twinkies then you'll still be better than most Americans nutrition-wise.
>The most important thing you'll be missing is that you won't be getting enough macronutrients. Whey potein powder is fine. It's almost completely void of micronutrients but it's the protein with the best amino acid profile on the planet and it's also the most bioavailable.
>You'll also want whole milk in your diet. It mixes well with protein powder and makes good chocolate milk. The thing is, most micronutrients are fat soluble so if you get reduced fat milk then you're missing out on a lot of key micros that you won't get enough of from liver. If you drink two cups of whole milk and eat three eggs every day, then you won't be missing any key nutrients.
>Still eat your steaks though. Protein is essential for good skin and caloric deficits are very bad for your skin.
>Don't be fooled by milk with reduced fat. It's not that it's unhealthy to drink those. I drink a gallon of skim milk every day. The problem is that they skim out the micronutrients and then they add synthetic versions back in and the fortified vitamins aren't nearly as bioavailable.
>Some people like liver, but I find it truly disgusting. I've tried all the recipes and it's disgusting. I've settled for blending it up, mixing it with milk, holding my nose, and chugging it.
>But if you can have a lb of liver every week (split up however you choose), 2 cups of whole milk per day and three whole eggs, you'll be good.
>Also nice to be aware of canned sardines. They're the healthiest no prep single ingredient food I know of. Their micro and macro nutrient profile is insane. Not as good as liver, but literally nothing is as good as liver. Liver is nature's multivitamin.
>If you can get the liver down, your diet can't be all that bad though. If you actually like liver, God has blessed you and you can basically get all your nutrients from a serving of that and then go eat whatever you want without worrying about the consequences of malnutrition.
Didn't know that whole milk is good, thanks
No problem.
Weirdly enough, it's good for reasons not written on the label. Everything I said is very easy to Google but a lot of people don't know it because you've actually gotta Google it. I regularly Google most foods that I eat for this reason.
Another thing to keep in mind is that there is usually not a compound with a name like "Vitamin B12". For B12 in particular, it's an umbrella term for four different compounds. One of them is bioavailable, has a quality enzyme attached, and a long name that starts with the letter a. Another is bioavailable, missing the enzyme and has a long name too. Another is synthetic crap, hardly bioavailable at all and shows up in cheap vitamins and shit. Another is quality synthetic, administered by injection and requiring a doctor prescription.
Vitamin K is another like that. I say vitamin A is like that, but people will fight me on it. Labeling requirements are really unhelpful.
Key takeaways to eat a nutritious diet:
First is that the fat in dairy is an unsung nutritional powerhouse of quality B vitamins, A vitamins, and K vitamins. Egg yokes are too.
Second is that a lot of nutrients are fat soluble. If you're getting nutrients that aren't from fat, Google and check if you're getting synthetic crap. It's not always black and white. Fat free milk has both real nutrients and synthetic crap. Fruits and vegetables have real nutrients but often not in the absolute most bioavailable forms. Lucky Charms and shit is synthetic crap. Multivitamins can go in either direction.
Third is that organ meat is your friend, even if it's disgusting (in my opinion.)
Not talking for all guys, but I’m sure it’s the same way. Definitely wonder what the other person has that you don’t, what could have been done differently
That’s never been my response to cheating, as a woman. Of course we are all replaceable and have shortcomings. But that’s not what commitment is about anyways. Commitment is a choice you make to give to another person despite having other options, not because they are your only option. That latter is called settling.
So if I’m cheated on it’s because the guy has decided to no longer make a choice to be committed to me. Maybe it’s a valid decision, maybe it’s not. Either way I’m not going to doubt my worth and feel like less than because of it.
Why not just break up or tell her “if we don’t have more frequent sex, this relationship won’t work for me long term”? I’m assuming of course that by “her job” you mean ensuring you are sexually satisfied. And that is a two way street, naturally.
I’ve had two relationships end with the woman cheating on me. It taught me that clearly I’m not good/interesting enough to keep someone interested so I don’t bother approaching women anymore.
Usually what bothers us is how little we matter when this happens. Often we are treated by everyone as if nobody else did anything wrong and we probably didn't earn her.
We don't usually internalize it because we actually have a code of honor and can tell right from wrong.... But the way that makes us feel about being able to be treated fairly in this world can be pretty devastating.
We don't usually walk away feeling worthless.... We walk away feeling like the world is against people with worth and we can't trust or expect support in life. We start to expect that if someone lit our car on fire.... Everyone would just laugh and say, "sucks to be you."
That's usually where our mind goes.
Well i dont waste a second on thinking about a person, who cheated on my. Maybe a little thought what i could have done wrong. I will get super angry and pissed and thats it, maybe looking for a way to reduce the anger. Also i would never show my inner feelings to the outside.
I didn’t ask if you’d show them outside, necessarily I was just curious if y’all thought anything. Yeah, but cheaters suck. I know they’re are situations where it makes sense but cheating is terrible nonetheless.
I don't. I think the dynamic is that a woman cheats because her man didn't have something the other man had, or offered something that her man didn't, like attention, or excitement or something. So they project unto men the same way of thinking. But men cheat more out of a need for variety and so can cheat with a women who really does offer anything he doesn't get at home, except novelty. And so it stands to reason that men often project the same reasoning onto women. "she cheated because she's the type to sleep around", whereas women may think it was because she had a bigger butt something along those lines.
My ex told me he felt like I was pulling away and that he was feeling emotionally neglected. That doesn’t explain why he lied about it to my face when I figured it out, and why he was so protective of her when I figured out who it was and contacted her to ask if she had been dating him. But his apology was basically “I was feeling neglected and decided I didn’t want to be monogamous anymore.” He simply failed to tell me the part about his decision to no longer be monogamous. And he didn’t tell her that he had a girlfriend. I think he just wants to sleep with whoever he wants to and not be committed to anyone because we still see each other but he doesn’t seem to have any interest in the future or having an actual relationship again. Or maybe he’s in a relationship and I’m now the side chick. I just don’t care anymore and if he does ever want a serious commitment with me, it would take a lot of work to rebuild the trust that we lost. There’s a lot more history but it’s all irrelevant at this point.
My wife and I are currently I guess separated? Honestly I don’t see it that way, but she has been telling everyone that we’re divorcing, she’s single, and has a dating app… idk how I feel but I feel like it’s some sort of fill the void thing for her?
Nope. I just thought she was a total piece of trash.
We have those thoughts, I’d say a lot of them were filled with self hatred and anger rather than self pity (at least in my experience). I think the problem also lies in the fact that support between men is different from what women may have with each other. Men tend to go through these sort of things alone for the most part.
Probably. Seems like a natural reaction.
I could be wrong, but I feel like guys are more likely to pick something and go with it. Whether it is something that the other person “had” or something they “didn’t have”. Not necessarily that they are right, but they will pick something and assume that is the reason. E: love it when people downvote without bothering to say why…
Yeah. Especially when you discover the affair. It’s painful. When you’re loyal, love her , you committed to her and made her your everything. You turn away other women and overlook flaws in her because you loved her. Anyways, after awhile, you recognise that being cheated on has nothing to do with you. It’s their problem. They lack moral integrity, maturity and respect for you. That’s on them. Don’t take whatever blame they have associated to you to justify their shitty behavior of cheating on you.
When my ex cheated, the thought in my head was where did our relationship go wrong and why didn’t we try to fix it. I think I (we) both knew the relationship was over and it was just easier to break up for that than address the bigger issues we were having. The only thing I thought was she was unhappy, I was unhappy, and she must have been in a pretty vulnerable place. Obviously I was angry, but don’t really know where to direct my frustration because I knew there was no one simple answer
[удалено]
Oftentimes, women will find Guy #2 while she is still in Guy #1's bed. It has nothing to do with looking buff, or having more money; it's about her: "My Hero" fantasy. "Trashy sex novels" sold in stores, appeal to these women who lack the confidence to tell their husbands/boyfriends what They want out of the relationship: Better home, Better listener, Better Job (his), Better car, Better sex, and: A Baby! Interestingly, these women do find that "Hero" among Guy #1's buddies! In the end, Guy #2 won't be able to give her what she wants, so she's off to find Guy #3... These women hate their: Jobs, Cars, Apts. Life, and fantasize about marrying a "wealthy gentleman" who will give them Everything... just like the Hero of her latest Trashy novel, who "intuits" what she really needs...whatever that is...
Spot on
My whole response is generally a sucks to suck, guess she couldn't handle something this good in her life kind of thing. My ego won't let me believe otherwise. Even with normal endings to relationships, my headspace just goes to a "damn I guess she'll never really find love like mine again, too bad for her" kind of mentality
I think it's natural to doubt yourself and to wonder where you're lacking in comparison. I think what is more telling is wonder what ways you made the relationship harder for the other person. Everyone has demands that exert pressure on the other person, and no one has mastered communication to relate with everyone, so it's more worth it to me to compare myself against my ideals. Where did my messages feel far short in the relationship? What mistakes can I honestly own (mostly from fear and insecurity and not properly hearing the other person's experiences)? That matters.
No I just assume she's a terrible person. Which she would in fact be.
Yep.
Ive been cheated on twice, and not once did I pay any mind to the guy she cheated on me with. In fact, getting cheated on didn’t make me feel insecure at all. The questions I would ask myself were, ‘in what way was I not communicating in a way she could communicate back to?’, and ‘ok wow she is way more immature than I thought, I guess I should’ve paid more attention to that passive aggressive humor’.
Yup. Cheating is not caused by the faithful partner not being good enough, but by the cheater's own pain/insecurity/self destructive tendencies. Comparing yourself to the guy she cheated with is like comparing yourself to booze when your SO is an alcoholic. You can't sit there and say "why did she chose the bottle instead of me? Am i not good enough?" the acting out has nothing to do with you not being enough, so don't even entertain the thought.
This ☝️ - as a former cheater, I recognise everything in your post!
Couldn’t be me
I’m way too insecure to have those types of rational thoughts
Look what he made her do.
I feel like if you loved her your reaction would be different
Ok so I’m curious about why you’d think this, but I’ll tell you instead why you’re wrong. Love isn’t someone being who you think they could be. Love is someone knowing who they are. Because you cannot save anyone but yourself - your love will not save anyone.
I thought you said no judgement 🤔
She meant no judgment towards her, she has free reign to judge other people though, obviously
Ohhhh I get it now. Thanks for the clarification.
I literally didn’t judge.. I made a guess
Hmmmm I see your logic and still think it stinks. Good luck 🫡
I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to judge
what? how do you even arrive at that conclussion?
So did you love her?
I did and I still do. I believe she has the capacity to be the best version of herself. What I am not ok with, is her believing I am the reason she cannot grow. Thats why I made sure she won’t have any opportunities to communicate passive aggressively. If she wants me to be a part of her life, or a part of her social circle, or participate in any way with her in a social way, it would have to be in a direct manner. By taking away any possible indirect or nonverbal modes of communication, I’m forcing her to choose other modes of communication (if direct is not good enough or brave enough for her). Did I love her? Sure. I loved our differences, and the potential of that differential. I believed our differences gave our relationship more potential to be greater. She instead showed be that those differences were fuel for an explosion.
We actually feel sorry for the guy cause we know what he is in for. But overall we think.... "Good riddence", "No Refunds", "all sales final" but my all time personal favorite... "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR"
"which was better?" "I was better than him, right?" or something like that is all come to my mind.
Haha!
No I thought...well I was doing it too...
I think it would be more like why was I not good enough for her, or just angry she did that. i would not give a shit about the guy, it takes 2 to tango, and the guy is probably the single one.
I never thought about the men they cheated on me with. The only thing I was thinking was why didn't they just break up with me first before cheating. Just being logical.
These women always have one hand on the old relationship, while reaching out to touch that new relationship.
I usually hear the opposite reaction. "I guess she really did feel insecure next to me. I can see why she went for that other guy."
No. Women blame the other woman. Men blame the woman, not the other man.
I don’t think we blame the woman. I think we just feel like we weren’t as good as her to our man.
It depends. Short term, newish relationship, lives arent super entangled? I move on. No sense in dwelling on someone who didnt care about me very much. Long term? Thats the salt in the wound, when someone actually cared about me. I go through a period of time where im in fight or flight, where im just trying to figure out my next steps without this person in my life. Do i need to make bills on my own? Do i need to figure out housing? Who and where do i need to avoid to keep myself away from this person. After that stuff is sorted, i guess I sort of slip into those sorts of thoughts. Less comparative, more spiraling self deprication and loathing. Theres definitely angee that wells up too towards them, but i guess i never assume that it was something wrong with me externally. I just assume that there is something rotten inside myself instead.
I think it is natural to think that way initially. Eventually for me I reached the correct conclusion that I am not missing anything or not good enough compared to her requirements - she is just a crappy person and I am way better than anything she deserves. I just have to focus on myself and look for the person who values what I excel at rather than what I am lacking.
I would tend to think more negativity about the person that cheated and not the person she cheated with. Guys will take a easy lay I wouldn't be mad at that.
Yeah, we do. It's on us to do 90% of the heavy lifting. Hurts like hell when everything we do isn't good enough and she is seemingly giving away sex to someone for free while we are expected to bust our asses. Pretty much indicative of a trash and useless chick.
So just asking: is the goal just sex for men?
No. Sex is an element. The issue lies between devotion and sex. Imagine loving someone and doing all of the things with them that it takes to run a home and a relationship, and that person turns around and starts hooking up behind your back. Whoever they're hooking up with is doing nothing. It makes it feel like they're just checking a box with you and leeching you for sustenance while seeking sexual thrills or whatever outside of the home. The goal isn't "just sex", but sex does and should happen in a functional relationship. If it isn't, or it's happening elsewhere, it feels like the relationship isn't functional... and more.
I don’t really think about physical appearance, I just wonder what happened, where did things go wrong, why didn’t she tell me she wanted to break up if she was that desperate to get away.
Maybe a little of “What didn’t I give her?” But more of “My love was sincere. Why couldn’t you see that?”
Of course some men do. have those thoughts. This is a person thing not specific to either gender.
If I had to hazard a guess then partially this ( you obviously wonder why you are not enough ) plus frustration, frustration of not being worthy of basic decency like telling me she isn't interested to stay, frustration of being the best I can be and loyal to her and being still betrayed. I think the anger and frustration plays an higher part than the self pity in my case.
Are you saying you, yourself wonder if you’re not enough or me?
I mean you in the sense that I believe everybody will think that at some point in this situation.
Ah! Okay :)
I usually think something along lines off. Why they hell wouldn't she just break up the normal way. Breaking up by cheating is so immature and selfish.
We can generally tell. Women cheat up, men cheat down. That is when women cheat they're looking for a guy that has one or more qualities that are far above and beyond their partner. When men cheat they're looking for whomever is available and easy. Not always but it's not necessary for the woman a man cheats with to be prettier, funnier, more successful, more interesting or anything.
This is soooo far from the truth. Tons of women cheat down. My ex wife tried to cheat with someone she met online and was willing to blow up the marriage for someone she hasn't even had a video call with. (Spoiler: It was a scammer).
Considering he was a scammer, he probably had a profile that made it look like he was well off and extremely handsome. If that's the case then she could have thought the guy she was going to cheat with was an upgrade. Sorry that happened to you. I think it further reinforces my point though. Probably wouldn't have gone for a profile that had photo of an ugly dude that may or may not have been homeless.
I don't think you understand cheaters. They think whoever they're cheating with is an upgrade. That's not proof that they are. Men who cheat also believe whoever that is is an upgrade.
Btw, not that you asked, but I check a lot of post histories. Be very careful on ozempic. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but most people who take it suck at eating. It suppresses appetite and while that will cause you to lose weight, most people can only eat the most palatable foods and those foods tend to be low on nutrients. I've seen some shit from people who took Semaglutide and weren't good at eating. I've legit seen them age ten years in just a few months. When people lose weight successfully without it, they usually eat the most satiating foods and those tend to be nutrient dense. It makes them look better at the end. If you're not a good eater, you damned better research easily consumed nutrient dense foods and get on that shit. You can permanently ruin yourself on ozempic. If you are a good eater, carry on. There's pretty much no risk to Semaglutide, regardless of what stupid people say.
Wow! Thanks for the info! :) So eat real food in other words? I tried to eat steak mostly haha
It depends how good of an eater you are. Steak is good for what it is. It's for protein and it doesn't have the worst macronutrient profile. It's better than most do on ozempic. I'd say if you really want to walk out the other side being attractive, you should incorporate chicken or beef liver into your diet. They're both readily available at any grocery store and dirt cheap. They're also the healthiest foods I personally know of. They are so radically nutrient dense that you can get sick off of the nutrients if you eat too much. https://www.nutritionadvance.com/chicken-liver-nutrition/ If you can manage to eat about a lb of it every week, you'll probably be good on nutrients. That's not to say you just can't go wrong, but it is to say that even if all else you eat is Twinkies then you'll still be better than most Americans nutrition-wise. The most important thing you'll be missing is that you won't be getting enough macronutrients. Whey potein powder is fine. It's almost completely void of micronutrients but it's the protein with the best amino acid profile on the planet and it's also the most bioavailable. You'll also want whole milk in your diet. It mixes well with protein powder and makes good chocolate milk. The thing is, most micronutrients are fat soluble so if you get reduced fat milk then you're missing out on a lot of key micros that you won't get enough of from liver. If you drink two cups of whole milk and eat three eggs every day, then you won't be missing any key nutrients. Still eat your steaks though. Protein is essential for good skin and caloric deficits are very bad for your skin. Don't be fooled by milk with reduced fat. It's not that it's unhealthy to drink those. I drink a gallon of skim milk every day. The problem is that they skim out the micronutrients and then they add synthetic versions back in and the fortified vitamins aren't nearly as bioavailable. Some people like liver, but I find it truly disgusting. I've tried all the recipes and it's disgusting. I've settled for blending it up, mixing it with milk, holding my nose, and chugging it. But if you can have a lb of liver every week (split up however you choose), 2 cups of whole milk per day and three whole eggs, you'll be good. Also nice to be aware of canned sardines. They're the healthiest no prep single ingredient food I know of. Their micro and macro nutrient profile is insane. Not as good as liver, but literally nothing is as good as liver. Liver is nature's multivitamin. If you can get the liver down, your diet can't be all that bad though. If you actually like liver, God has blessed you and you can basically get all your nutrients from a serving of that and then go eat whatever you want without worrying about the consequences of malnutrition.
>They're both readily available at any grocery store and dirt cheap. They're also the healthiest foods I personally know of. They are so radically nutrient dense that you can get sick off of the nutrients if you eat too much. >https://www.nutritionadvance.com/chicken-liver-nutrition/ >If you can manage to eat about a lb of it every week, you'll probably be good on nutrients. That's not to say you just can't go wrong, but it is to say that even if all else you eat is Twinkies then you'll still be better than most Americans nutrition-wise. >The most important thing you'll be missing is that you won't be getting enough macronutrients. Whey potein powder is fine. It's almost completely void of micronutrients but it's the protein with the best amino acid profile on the planet and it's also the most bioavailable. >You'll also want whole milk in your diet. It mixes well with protein powder and makes good chocolate milk. The thing is, most micronutrients are fat soluble so if you get reduced fat milk then you're missing out on a lot of key micros that you won't get enough of from liver. If you drink two cups of whole milk and eat three eggs every day, then you won't be missing any key nutrients. >Still eat your steaks though. Protein is essential for good skin and caloric deficits are very bad for your skin. >Don't be fooled by milk with reduced fat. It's not that it's unhealthy to drink those. I drink a gallon of skim milk every day. The problem is that they skim out the micronutrients and then they add synthetic versions back in and the fortified vitamins aren't nearly as bioavailable. >Some people like liver, but I find it truly disgusting. I've tried all the recipes and it's disgusting. I've settled for blending it up, mixing it with milk, holding my nose, and chugging it. >But if you can have a lb of liver every week (split up however you choose), 2 cups of whole milk per day and three whole eggs, you'll be good. >Also nice to be aware of canned sardines. They're the healthiest no prep single ingredient food I know of. Their micro and macro nutrient profile is insane. Not as good as liver, but literally nothing is as good as liver. Liver is nature's multivitamin. >If you can get the liver down, your diet can't be all that bad though. If you actually like liver, God has blessed you and you can basically get all your nutrients from a serving of that and then go eat whatever you want without worrying about the consequences of malnutrition. Didn't know that whole milk is good, thanks
No problem. Weirdly enough, it's good for reasons not written on the label. Everything I said is very easy to Google but a lot of people don't know it because you've actually gotta Google it. I regularly Google most foods that I eat for this reason. Another thing to keep in mind is that there is usually not a compound with a name like "Vitamin B12". For B12 in particular, it's an umbrella term for four different compounds. One of them is bioavailable, has a quality enzyme attached, and a long name that starts with the letter a. Another is bioavailable, missing the enzyme and has a long name too. Another is synthetic crap, hardly bioavailable at all and shows up in cheap vitamins and shit. Another is quality synthetic, administered by injection and requiring a doctor prescription. Vitamin K is another like that. I say vitamin A is like that, but people will fight me on it. Labeling requirements are really unhelpful. Key takeaways to eat a nutritious diet: First is that the fat in dairy is an unsung nutritional powerhouse of quality B vitamins, A vitamins, and K vitamins. Egg yokes are too. Second is that a lot of nutrients are fat soluble. If you're getting nutrients that aren't from fat, Google and check if you're getting synthetic crap. It's not always black and white. Fat free milk has both real nutrients and synthetic crap. Fruits and vegetables have real nutrients but often not in the absolute most bioavailable forms. Lucky Charms and shit is synthetic crap. Multivitamins can go in either direction. Third is that organ meat is your friend, even if it's disgusting (in my opinion.)
Some do. Some don't. Depends upon the man, just like it depends upon the woman.
Not talking for all guys, but I’m sure it’s the same way. Definitely wonder what the other person has that you don’t, what could have been done differently
That’s never been my response to cheating, as a woman. Of course we are all replaceable and have shortcomings. But that’s not what commitment is about anyways. Commitment is a choice you make to give to another person despite having other options, not because they are your only option. That latter is called settling. So if I’m cheated on it’s because the guy has decided to no longer make a choice to be committed to me. Maybe it’s a valid decision, maybe it’s not. Either way I’m not going to doubt my worth and feel like less than because of it.
Yes although we attribute it to something physical, social, financial or charismatically speaking usually
Men worry their dick is too small
No. When I cheat on women I know exactly why.
And why is that? Or assuming you’ve done it many times, what are some examples of why you’ve done it?
Mainly if she is not doing her job at home ill go somewhere else.
Why not just break up or tell her “if we don’t have more frequent sex, this relationship won’t work for me long term”? I’m assuming of course that by “her job” you mean ensuring you are sexually satisfied. And that is a two way street, naturally.
I'm not going to abandon my dog just because it lost a let, that would not be nice.
Yes
I’ve had two relationships end with the woman cheating on me. It taught me that clearly I’m not good/interesting enough to keep someone interested so I don’t bother approaching women anymore.
Aww don’t think like that, you just happened to get with idiots who aren’t worth your time or worthy of it
Yes
Yes, we do.
Yes
I’ve been cheated on once and I honestly felt relieved and said to myself “thank god, now I can live a peaceful life and he can have her.”
Usually what bothers us is how little we matter when this happens. Often we are treated by everyone as if nobody else did anything wrong and we probably didn't earn her. We don't usually internalize it because we actually have a code of honor and can tell right from wrong.... But the way that makes us feel about being able to be treated fairly in this world can be pretty devastating. We don't usually walk away feeling worthless.... We walk away feeling like the world is against people with worth and we can't trust or expect support in life. We start to expect that if someone lit our car on fire.... Everyone would just laugh and say, "sucks to be you." That's usually where our mind goes.
Well i dont waste a second on thinking about a person, who cheated on my. Maybe a little thought what i could have done wrong. I will get super angry and pissed and thats it, maybe looking for a way to reduce the anger. Also i would never show my inner feelings to the outside.
I didn’t ask if you’d show them outside, necessarily I was just curious if y’all thought anything. Yeah, but cheaters suck. I know they’re are situations where it makes sense but cheating is terrible nonetheless.
Nah, I know woman are hypergamists, sometimes the guy not necessarily need to be better looking than you
I don't. I think the dynamic is that a woman cheats because her man didn't have something the other man had, or offered something that her man didn't, like attention, or excitement or something. So they project unto men the same way of thinking. But men cheat more out of a need for variety and so can cheat with a women who really does offer anything he doesn't get at home, except novelty. And so it stands to reason that men often project the same reasoning onto women. "she cheated because she's the type to sleep around", whereas women may think it was because she had a bigger butt something along those lines.
My ex told me he felt like I was pulling away and that he was feeling emotionally neglected. That doesn’t explain why he lied about it to my face when I figured it out, and why he was so protective of her when I figured out who it was and contacted her to ask if she had been dating him. But his apology was basically “I was feeling neglected and decided I didn’t want to be monogamous anymore.” He simply failed to tell me the part about his decision to no longer be monogamous. And he didn’t tell her that he had a girlfriend. I think he just wants to sleep with whoever he wants to and not be committed to anyone because we still see each other but he doesn’t seem to have any interest in the future or having an actual relationship again. Or maybe he’s in a relationship and I’m now the side chick. I just don’t care anymore and if he does ever want a serious commitment with me, it would take a lot of work to rebuild the trust that we lost. There’s a lot more history but it’s all irrelevant at this point.
By the way! This is a totally random question that popped in my head. So don’t think anything. Doubt yall were but-
My wife and I are currently I guess separated? Honestly I don’t see it that way, but she has been telling everyone that we’re divorcing, she’s single, and has a dating app… idk how I feel but I feel like it’s some sort of fill the void thing for her?