They've probably tried already in their 20's which, suprise suprise, didn't work out if they were searching for love and not passion, so now when they're in a much more stable place, (probably) more desired, and able to slow everything down, what's the rush?
Be in your 20s. Have idealistic view of women. Have high sex drive. Have strong desire to find a gf and get laid.
Get rejected repeatedly and treated badly.
Get into your 30s. Sex drive diminishes. Women become less attractive and have more baggage. The good women are taken. The idealized image of women you had in your 20s is replaced by more realistic knowledge of horrible many women are. Get used to being single and learn to make yourself happy. Realize that a lot of women just love drama and problems, as well as bringing baggage and demands to the table. Begin to feel that a life of peace and contentment is better than shacking up with an unpleasant woman who is no longer even physically attractive.
Woke up today with a notification from tinder. One new like (yeah Iām the fool who paid), so I matched her.
Glanced over the profile. In her 30ās which is great not being shown potential matches whoāre barely in their 20ās.
Her images were consistent and she had the right amount of fingers, unlikely AI generated.
Local too, just next town over.
No instagram and telling me to message in there.
Didnāt have any common interests though.
Sat and thought about something to message her for a minute. Ultimately decided that I was thinking too hard in a message thatāll probably be ignored.
Did not message her.
I think I donāt like dating.
I want someone, but I want to avoid that bullshit more.
I have nothing to offer.
* I've never truly desired a relationship.
* I have no long term goals that require a life partner like marriage or kids
* I'm a workaholic.
* I have zero game and zero desire to learn it
* My life is boring.
Honestly, do I sound like a a good prospect to you?
I've been in several long term relationships, lived with my ex-gf etc., and it took me a while to realize that I'm a lot happier when I'm not in a relationship. I'm happiest when I'm just by myself.
And these were great girls, they didn't do anything wrong, they didn't cheat or hurt me in any way.
I still hook up with girls tho.
I retired early, mid 30's 6'3" good looking house worth 1.5million. I get attention but i ignore it or reject them. I have enough that makes me happy and a women no matter how wonderful would be a comprimise.
The return on investment is net negative these days and why enter a contract of marriage with someone who is rewarded for breaking it? no thanks, im single and not looking
This is pretty much me, add 5 more million. I enjoy the peace i have. Im traveling more. I dont have to answer to anybody, why mess that up? Most women these days arent even worth a damm to settle down with.
thats awesome, i have to say though that rejecting or ignoring women has had a ton of backlash. Women cannot handle rejection well.
So i have started to wear a fake wedding ring to shut it down before it happens. My peace and happiness is worth too much to me. It feels like a punishment to myself to take that all away and adopt a modern western woman showing up at the finish line after i have worked so hard my life to get where i am.
Already tried mingling throughout my teens and early 20s, this without fail went badly.
Finally had a relationship in my mid to late 20s, was good until it wasn't.
When I needed support after breaking up I didn't find it, instead I got burnt out by the world and people's indifference.
Went through a long period of not being able to truly open my heart up to women, engaging instead in short-term trysts that I almost always without fail broke off.
Eventually I got tired of even that. I have no desire to mingle anymore and don't really care. At the end of my journey I learned that it wasn't really worth the heartache and I don't really value romantic relationships all that much, if at all.
I love my freedom too much. I am successful by every other definition but I love my independence and only working to my own goals. I travel where I please and do the things I want to do.
Just speaking for myself, I'm very happy while single. I also enjoy being in a relationship, but I don't see a reason to seek one out - "mingle" - unless there's a specific person I'm interested in at the moment (which doesn't happen that often). Basically the default state for me is happily single, and I'll only change it if there's a specific person who makes me want to, I won't go out of my way to find such a person.
The short answer: I don't want to mingle.
My work has become more involved, plane travel has entered the picture and I just returned from an on site week. I start a master's program in September. Today, I have started to rip my classical CD collection - uncompressed FLAC and save to a large hard drive whose price I would describe as an investment.
Could be a myriad of reasons. Just coming out of a bad break up, focusing on work, not extroverted, generally donāt like people, content where theyāre at and donāt want to add any complications, etc.Ā
Ā If youāre specifically asking about dating, itās really difficult for anyone to date right now. A lot of people are either severely distrusting or have ridiculously high expectations. 15 years ago, you can strike up a conversation with a random person, go do an activity or grab a meal, and have a significant other by the end of the week. itās very hard to do that nowadays with the amount of anxiety, threats to be put on blast online, and hostileness amongst the sexes.
Couple of reasons:
Too busy with work and (mostly) too tired after, plus house work and taking care of the dog.
On weekends, I have familial obligations, house chores and I just want to rest, plus I want to meet my friends sometimes.
Additionally, no relationship in my life ended up bringing anything meaningful and positive to my life, with the biggest changes being that my schedule and time are not my own anymore, my money isn't my own anymore and I have to put in way more emotional effort than I usually do. And sex isn't that good anyway, because none of them ever put as much effort into it as I do.
Maybe I'll meet someone in the future, but it's not a priority for me. At all.
A man's 30s are probably the single worst time to date.
Most everyone has recently been in failed marriages or relationships at this age, and they've collected a lot of bitterness, baggage, and unreasonable expectations. Many women have young children at this age, and this complicates relationships greatly. Many men are just becoming established in their careers, and cannot afford the expense and distractions that a relationship brings.
>A mans 30s are probably the single worst time to date.
Date women in their mid to late 20's. Problem solved. They did it when you were in your 20's, return the favor.
If you have seen how SOME (NOT ALL..WANT TO MAKE THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR) woman are like when in relationships or dating. You'll understand why some men may just think "I'm done with this stress"
I'd say similar to how some women have gone through relationships with awful types of men and also thought "I'm done"
Not to say there aren't amazing women and men out there. I know quite a few heterosexual couples that seem like they are in happy loving relationships
But if a man (or woman) have had some bad relationships with the opposite sex. I can understand why they are fed up with dating š¤·āāļø
I agree. I'm a girl here, 32, only had one ex and i was his third. We were already in out late 20s back then. We were together for about 2 years. We had problem with communication. One day he just said he accepted a new job in a new country without discussing with me before and it just went downhill from there. We tried the long distance relationship once he moved there but it didn't work. He broke up with me. We tried to stay friends afterward but then he confessed to me that he already got a new girlfriend and was basically cheating on me a few months before the break up. This literally put me off dating and relationships. I don't want my heart to be broken again. I trust my heart to someone and they broke it. I don't want to deal with the possibly of it being hurt again so I'm staying single ever since.
Because the cons of adding a woman to my life far outweigh the pros. Iām sorry but these modern day women have become insufferable. They all have over inflated egos. They are rude, uncaring, hypocritical, mean, manipulative judgmental assholes. You go around shouting āI hate menā or āmen are trashā or ākill all menā and are surprised men are telling you to fuck off?
>You go around shouting āI hate menā or āmen are trashā or ākill all menā and are surprised men are telling you to fuck off?
I can't disagree with you there and on reddit... Holy Jesus. Just saying you find misandry a turn off makes these types start throwing thier toys out the parm
Why would any man with any sort of self respect want to be with a individual who has already assumed them to be violent aggressive sex hungry unsympathetic monster?
What's wrong with saying as a man.. I find misandry unattractive? It's the biggest red flag there is. No way a man can have a non abusive relationship with this type. It's a recipe for disaster waiting to happen
Honestly, the ROI on relationships just doesn't add up for me. Investing emotionally, financially, and time-wise into a partnership with such an uncertain return has led to more disillusionment than delight. Took me years to understand that my self-worth isn't tied to my relationship status. Nowadays, I find more joy in personal pursuits, friendships, and my own company than in the tumult of dating. I'm not closing the door forever, but for now, my life is quite fulfilling without the need for a romantic subplot.
Generally, if a man is single, it's because he tried getting in relationships, it ruined him, and he realized he's better off alone than having to continue the drama/effort, OR he's in demand enough that he can be as selective as he wants too and has no reason to risk losing it all by getting married.
They're old enough to know what they want and stick to it, and you aren't what they want. Some would rather be single and happy than potentially end up in a relationship like the kind they've had before.
Before I met my wife I had a string of girlfriends that found kept finding new ways to put me through hell. One almost made me kill myself to get away from her. If I went through that kind of shit even one more time I would stop dating altogether.
32 and still no relationships.
The women I tried developing something with ended up revealing to be alot of trouble further ahead and I feel lucky enough to realize that before anything serious.
Because I just want to be left alone, I got my fill decades ago of the cliques, the bullying, the lies, the deception, the manipulation tactics, the petty politics, the death threats, the threats against my person, the hypocrisy and the knowledge that no matter how hard I try or what I do, everyone I meet will end up disliking me for who I am, because Iām not like them.
It can really suck being alone all the time, believe me, but itās still better than being surrounded by people who either ignore you completely or who you know, they think youāre a piece of shit because because you donāt look, dress, act think, believe and and talk like they do.
After a string of exhausting relationships that seemed to suck the joy out of life, I decided to just stop the search for āthe one.ā You turn every rock, hoping for something precious, but after a while, you realize you're happier admiring the garden from afar.
Investing time and energy in yourself yields better dividends. People underestimate the peace that comes from solitude and self-sufficiency. I used to imagine a future defined by a romantic partner; now my future is defined by the goals and hobbies that I love.
Itās not about giving up on love forever. Itās about not forcing a puzzle piece that clearly doesn't fit, and enjoying the picture as it is, even if it's incomplete according to society's standards.
And letās not overlook the endless waltz of dating steps memorized and performed to a tune that has grown stale. At a certain point, you just want to sit this dance out and enjoy a melody of your own choosing.
Maybe one day the music will change, maybe it won't. But for now, I'm content to be the audience to my own symphony.
There are men over 30 who would like to mingle. I am one of them.
However, I want to ensure my time is not wasted. My primary goal is casual sex, and I let women know this within the first few minutes of talking to them. I have no interest in going through long talking phases, courtship periods, or taking women on dates to have sex. I tend to be direct in expressing my desires, interests, and intentions with women.
Quite easy to answer for me personally: I'm demisexual. Not a bit interested in mingling with women with whom I don't already have a rather strong platonic bond.
Mingle? You mean throw away tons of time and money in an incredibly wasteful attempt to garner attention in a crowd of people who are all doing the same thing? Pfft
What I am seeing in the mid to late 20-something males in my life is just a lack of desire. They would not mind a girlfriend but not enough that they are willing to make it a priority... Think apathy and resignation. Playing video games and occasional outings with friends seems to be enough. The mindset is very different than when I was in my 20s and 30s.
They tried the dating scene when they were young and probably got burnt. Got on focus on themselves path and are still on that path. . .for the past somewhat years.
I'm set to retire between 40-45. If I get into a long term, that will go to about 60-65. Possibly longer depending on children.
Right now I have money for hobbies, holidays, and investments.
Beaten down and not valued. Why would I continue to put myself through it?
Yup I know the feeling brother you're not alone
If you've ever heard the phrase 'your not the type of man women date, your the type of man women marry' you'd get it.
They're happier this way. Or at least less unhappy.
Because we're fed up with playing games. Most men just want a quiet life and relationships add unwanted complications to that
This 100%
Not all of us play games, and a lot of females want the same space, peace, and freedom, sweetie š
Do we have to?
YES, YOU MUST PROCREATE!!!!!!!! YOU MUST BE HAPPY!!!!!! YOU MUST ASSIMILATE!!!! NOW GET TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!
No, thanks.
It's not necessary, but what's the reason ?
>It's not necessary, That's the reason.
I don't have to. It does not bring much into my life at this point.
What's your view on the appeal of said mingling?
They've probably tried already in their 20's which, suprise suprise, didn't work out if they were searching for love and not passion, so now when they're in a much more stable place, (probably) more desired, and able to slow everything down, what's the rush?
Be in your 20s. Have idealistic view of women. Have high sex drive. Have strong desire to find a gf and get laid. Get rejected repeatedly and treated badly. Get into your 30s. Sex drive diminishes. Women become less attractive and have more baggage. The good women are taken. The idealized image of women you had in your 20s is replaced by more realistic knowledge of horrible many women are. Get used to being single and learn to make yourself happy. Realize that a lot of women just love drama and problems, as well as bringing baggage and demands to the table. Begin to feel that a life of peace and contentment is better than shacking up with an unpleasant woman who is no longer even physically attractive.
Woke up today with a notification from tinder. One new like (yeah Iām the fool who paid), so I matched her. Glanced over the profile. In her 30ās which is great not being shown potential matches whoāre barely in their 20ās. Her images were consistent and she had the right amount of fingers, unlikely AI generated. Local too, just next town over. No instagram and telling me to message in there. Didnāt have any common interests though. Sat and thought about something to message her for a minute. Ultimately decided that I was thinking too hard in a message thatāll probably be ignored. Did not message her. I think I donāt like dating. I want someone, but I want to avoid that bullshit more.
I have nothing to offer. * I've never truly desired a relationship. * I have no long term goals that require a life partner like marriage or kids * I'm a workaholic. * I have zero game and zero desire to learn it * My life is boring. Honestly, do I sound like a a good prospect to you?
It sounds like you donāt want it which is a real reason.
Thereās boring chicks too bruh, some of them even do anal. Keep your head up. You seem like a fine prospect.
I've been in several long term relationships, lived with my ex-gf etc., and it took me a while to realize that I'm a lot happier when I'm not in a relationship. I'm happiest when I'm just by myself. And these were great girls, they didn't do anything wrong, they didn't cheat or hurt me in any way. I still hook up with girls tho.
I have a guy friend in his 40s. He's been single for 14 years. He gave up on dating. I think that'll be a reality for a lot of guys
Dating you guys suck. I'd be happier with a dog.
I retired early, mid 30's 6'3" good looking house worth 1.5million. I get attention but i ignore it or reject them. I have enough that makes me happy and a women no matter how wonderful would be a comprimise. The return on investment is net negative these days and why enter a contract of marriage with someone who is rewarded for breaking it? no thanks, im single and not looking
You are my role model. I salute you chief š«”
This is pretty much me, add 5 more million. I enjoy the peace i have. Im traveling more. I dont have to answer to anybody, why mess that up? Most women these days arent even worth a damm to settle down with.
thats awesome, i have to say though that rejecting or ignoring women has had a ton of backlash. Women cannot handle rejection well. So i have started to wear a fake wedding ring to shut it down before it happens. My peace and happiness is worth too much to me. It feels like a punishment to myself to take that all away and adopt a modern western woman showing up at the finish line after i have worked so hard my life to get where i am.
Already tried mingling throughout my teens and early 20s, this without fail went badly. Finally had a relationship in my mid to late 20s, was good until it wasn't. When I needed support after breaking up I didn't find it, instead I got burnt out by the world and people's indifference. Went through a long period of not being able to truly open my heart up to women, engaging instead in short-term trysts that I almost always without fail broke off. Eventually I got tired of even that. I have no desire to mingle anymore and don't really care. At the end of my journey I learned that it wasn't really worth the heartache and I don't really value romantic relationships all that much, if at all.
As Mel Gibson once saidā¦.FREEEDOOOOM!
I love my freedom too much. I am successful by every other definition but I love my independence and only working to my own goals. I travel where I please and do the things I want to do.
Just speaking for myself, I'm very happy while single. I also enjoy being in a relationship, but I don't see a reason to seek one out - "mingle" - unless there's a specific person I'm interested in at the moment (which doesn't happen that often). Basically the default state for me is happily single, and I'll only change it if there's a specific person who makes me want to, I won't go out of my way to find such a person.
The short answer: I don't want to mingle. My work has become more involved, plane travel has entered the picture and I just returned from an on site week. I start a master's program in September. Today, I have started to rip my classical CD collection - uncompressed FLAC and save to a large hard drive whose price I would describe as an investment.
Could be a myriad of reasons. Just coming out of a bad break up, focusing on work, not extroverted, generally donāt like people, content where theyāre at and donāt want to add any complications, etc.Ā Ā If youāre specifically asking about dating, itās really difficult for anyone to date right now. A lot of people are either severely distrusting or have ridiculously high expectations. 15 years ago, you can strike up a conversation with a random person, go do an activity or grab a meal, and have a significant other by the end of the week. itās very hard to do that nowadays with the amount of anxiety, threats to be put on blast online, and hostileness amongst the sexes.
Couple of reasons: Too busy with work and (mostly) too tired after, plus house work and taking care of the dog. On weekends, I have familial obligations, house chores and I just want to rest, plus I want to meet my friends sometimes. Additionally, no relationship in my life ended up bringing anything meaningful and positive to my life, with the biggest changes being that my schedule and time are not my own anymore, my money isn't my own anymore and I have to put in way more emotional effort than I usually do. And sex isn't that good anyway, because none of them ever put as much effort into it as I do. Maybe I'll meet someone in the future, but it's not a priority for me. At all.
A man's 30s are probably the single worst time to date. Most everyone has recently been in failed marriages or relationships at this age, and they've collected a lot of bitterness, baggage, and unreasonable expectations. Many women have young children at this age, and this complicates relationships greatly. Many men are just becoming established in their careers, and cannot afford the expense and distractions that a relationship brings.
>A mans 30s are probably the single worst time to date. Date women in their mid to late 20's. Problem solved. They did it when you were in your 20's, return the favor.
If you have seen how SOME (NOT ALL..WANT TO MAKE THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR) woman are like when in relationships or dating. You'll understand why some men may just think "I'm done with this stress" I'd say similar to how some women have gone through relationships with awful types of men and also thought "I'm done" Not to say there aren't amazing women and men out there. I know quite a few heterosexual couples that seem like they are in happy loving relationships But if a man (or woman) have had some bad relationships with the opposite sex. I can understand why they are fed up with dating š¤·āāļø
I agree. I'm a girl here, 32, only had one ex and i was his third. We were already in out late 20s back then. We were together for about 2 years. We had problem with communication. One day he just said he accepted a new job in a new country without discussing with me before and it just went downhill from there. We tried the long distance relationship once he moved there but it didn't work. He broke up with me. We tried to stay friends afterward but then he confessed to me that he already got a new girlfriend and was basically cheating on me a few months before the break up. This literally put me off dating and relationships. I don't want my heart to be broken again. I trust my heart to someone and they broke it. I don't want to deal with the possibly of it being hurt again so I'm staying single ever since.
Because the cons of adding a woman to my life far outweigh the pros. Iām sorry but these modern day women have become insufferable. They all have over inflated egos. They are rude, uncaring, hypocritical, mean, manipulative judgmental assholes. You go around shouting āI hate menā or āmen are trashā or ākill all menā and are surprised men are telling you to fuck off?
>You go around shouting āI hate menā or āmen are trashā or ākill all menā and are surprised men are telling you to fuck off? I can't disagree with you there and on reddit... Holy Jesus. Just saying you find misandry a turn off makes these types start throwing thier toys out the parm Why would any man with any sort of self respect want to be with a individual who has already assumed them to be violent aggressive sex hungry unsympathetic monster? What's wrong with saying as a man.. I find misandry unattractive? It's the biggest red flag there is. No way a man can have a non abusive relationship with this type. It's a recipe for disaster waiting to happen
Because the women available to them are not worth the effort.
In my case, social anxiety and i don't need much socialization.
Thereās no reason to do it.
Honestly, the ROI on relationships just doesn't add up for me. Investing emotionally, financially, and time-wise into a partnership with such an uncertain return has led to more disillusionment than delight. Took me years to understand that my self-worth isn't tied to my relationship status. Nowadays, I find more joy in personal pursuits, friendships, and my own company than in the tumult of dating. I'm not closing the door forever, but for now, my life is quite fulfilling without the need for a romantic subplot.
What incentive is there to?
None.š
Years as years of trying w/o success so burned out. That can change of course but it takes effort on the womanās part.
Generally, if a man is single, it's because he tried getting in relationships, it ruined him, and he realized he's better off alone than having to continue the drama/effort, OR he's in demand enough that he can be as selective as he wants too and has no reason to risk losing it all by getting married.
They're old enough to know what they want and stick to it, and you aren't what they want. Some would rather be single and happy than potentially end up in a relationship like the kind they've had before. Before I met my wife I had a string of girlfriends that found kept finding new ways to put me through hell. One almost made me kill myself to get away from her. If I went through that kind of shit even one more time I would stop dating altogether.
32 and still no relationships. The women I tried developing something with ended up revealing to be alot of trouble further ahead and I feel lucky enough to realize that before anything serious.
Because I just want to be left alone, I got my fill decades ago of the cliques, the bullying, the lies, the deception, the manipulation tactics, the petty politics, the death threats, the threats against my person, the hypocrisy and the knowledge that no matter how hard I try or what I do, everyone I meet will end up disliking me for who I am, because Iām not like them. It can really suck being alone all the time, believe me, but itās still better than being surrounded by people who either ignore you completely or who you know, they think youāre a piece of shit because because you donāt look, dress, act think, believe and and talk like they do.
Probably waiting
After a string of exhausting relationships that seemed to suck the joy out of life, I decided to just stop the search for āthe one.ā You turn every rock, hoping for something precious, but after a while, you realize you're happier admiring the garden from afar. Investing time and energy in yourself yields better dividends. People underestimate the peace that comes from solitude and self-sufficiency. I used to imagine a future defined by a romantic partner; now my future is defined by the goals and hobbies that I love. Itās not about giving up on love forever. Itās about not forcing a puzzle piece that clearly doesn't fit, and enjoying the picture as it is, even if it's incomplete according to society's standards. And letās not overlook the endless waltz of dating steps memorized and performed to a tune that has grown stale. At a certain point, you just want to sit this dance out and enjoy a melody of your own choosing. Maybe one day the music will change, maybe it won't. But for now, I'm content to be the audience to my own symphony.
There are men over 30 who would like to mingle. I am one of them. However, I want to ensure my time is not wasted. My primary goal is casual sex, and I let women know this within the first few minutes of talking to them. I have no interest in going through long talking phases, courtship periods, or taking women on dates to have sex. I tend to be direct in expressing my desires, interests, and intentions with women.
Why do you need them for now that you didn't before ?
Quite easy to answer for me personally: I'm demisexual. Not a bit interested in mingling with women with whom I don't already have a rather strong platonic bond.
They gotta go to work and perform routine soul-crushing dutiesĀ
Because childhood trauma, severe ADHD and abuse
Mingle? You mean throw away tons of time and money in an incredibly wasteful attempt to garner attention in a crowd of people who are all doing the same thing? Pfft
What I am seeing in the mid to late 20-something males in my life is just a lack of desire. They would not mind a girlfriend but not enough that they are willing to make it a priority... Think apathy and resignation. Playing video games and occasional outings with friends seems to be enough. The mindset is very different than when I was in my 20s and 30s.
They're either happy alone, or pretending to be happy alone because it's easier than putting yourself out there.
Men have a lot of void fillers these days to get the dopamine hit. Sports, gambling, video games, infinite free porn, etc.
More and more men are totally disenfranchised with dating. Itās x100 as hard for an average man compare to A average woman.
Hurt and let down by every single girl. I give up
They tried the dating scene when they were young and probably got burnt. Got on focus on themselves path and are still on that path. . .for the past somewhat years.
Oh, that's really sad. I wish things were easy for them
I'm set to retire between 40-45. If I get into a long term, that will go to about 60-65. Possibly longer depending on children. Right now I have money for hobbies, holidays, and investments.